The rules are simple: take any line of dialog from the Lord of the Rings films and replace a key word with "pants."
The Fellowship of the Ring
Galadriel: The world is changing. I can feel it in the pants.
Gandalf: And what about very old pants?
Pippin: It comes in pants? I'm getting one!
Aragorn: This wound is beyond my skill. He needs Elvish pants.
Ringwraith: Give up the pants, she-elf.
Saruman: Your love of the Halflings' pants has clearly slowed your mind.
Gandalf: Tell me, friend. When did Saruman the Wise give up reason for pants?
Elrond: My people are leaving these pants.
Gandalf & Elrond: It is in pants that we must place our hope. Pants? Pants are weak.
Boromir: Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants.
Legolas: A shadow under threat had been growing in my pants.
Gandalf: Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your pants!
Gandalf: A Balrog. A demon from the underpants.
Haldir: The dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the pants.
Aragorn: They were once pants. Great kings of pants.
Uruk-hai: Find the pants!
Aragorn: You fought bravely. You have kept your pants.
The Two Towers
Aragorn: Their pace has quickened. They must have caught our pants.
Aragorn: Not idly do the pants of Lorien fall.
Merry: You remember the old forest, on the borders of Buckland. Folks used to say there was something in the pants that made the trees grow tall and come alive.
Éomer: We left none alive. We piled the pants and burned them.
Éomer: Look for your pants, but do not trust to hope. It is forsaken in these lands.
Gollum: Master should be resting. Master needs to keep up his pants.
Legolas: The pants are speaking to each other.
Gimli: You’d find more pants in a graveyard.
Éowyn: Your pants are poison.
Gandalf: Oh, no. You would not part an old man from his pants?
Faramir: Sauron will strike us soon, and he will strike hard. He knows now we do not have the pants to repel him.
Faramir: To enter the forbidden pants bears the penalty of death.
Faramir: A chance for Faramir, Captain of Gondor, to show his pants.