abortion4

A Medical Doctor describes the Dilation and Evacuation Procedure

-- Dr. Tony Levatino, M.D.

Imagine for a moment that you are a "pro-choice" obstetrician-gynecologist as I once was. Your patient today is seventeen years old and she is twenty weeks pregnant. At twenty weeks, her uterus is up to her umbilicus and she has been feeling her baby kick for the last two weeks. If you could see her baby, she would be as long as your hand from the top of her head to the bottom of her rump not counting the legs. Your patient is now asleep on an operating room table with her legs in stirrups. Upon entering the room after scrubbing, you dry your hands with a sterile towel and are gowned and gloved by the scrub nurse.

The first task is remove the laminaria that had earlier been placed in the cervix to dilate it sufficiently to allow the procedure you are about to perform. With that accomplished, direct your attention to the surgical instruments arranged on a small table to your right. The first instrument you reach for is a 14-French suction catheter. It is clear plastic and about nine inches long. It has a bore through the center approximately ľ of an inch in diameter. Picture yourself introducing the catheter through the cervix and instructing the circulating nurse to turn on the suction machine which is connected through clear plastic tubing to the catheter. What you will see is a pale yellow fluid the looks a lot like urine coming through the catheter into a glass bottle on the suction machine. This amniotic fluid surrounded the baby to protect her.

With suction complete, look for your Sopher clamp. This instrument is about thirteen inches long and made of stainless steel. At one end are located jaws about 2 ˝ inches long and about ľ on an inch wide with rows of sharp ridges or teeth. This instrument is for grasping and crushing tissue. When it gets hold of something, it does not let go.

A second trimester D&E abortion is a blind procedure. The baby can be in any orientation or position inside the uterus. Picture yourself reaching in with the Sopher clamp and grasping anything you can. At twenty weeks gestation, the uterus is thin and soft so be careful not to perforate or puncture the walls. Once you have grasped something inside, squeeze on the clamp to set the jaws and pull hard – really hard. You feel something let go and out pops a fully formed leg about 4 to 5 inches long. Reach in again and grasp whatever you can. Set the jaw and pull really hard once again and out pops an arm about the same length. Reach in again and again with that clamp and tear out the spine, intestines, heart and lungs.

The toughest part of a D&E abortion is extracting the baby’s head. The head of a baby that age is about the size of a plum and is now free floating inside the uterine cavity. You can be pretty sure you have hold of it if the Sopher clamp is spread about as far as your fingers will allow. You will know you have it right when you crush down on the clamp and see a pure white gelatinous material issue from the cervix. That was the baby’s brains. You can then extract the skull pieces. If you have a really bad day like I often did, a little face may come out and stare back at you.

Congratulations! You have just successfully performed a Suction D&E abortion. You just affirmed her right to choose. You just made $600 cash in fifteen minutes.

The Horror of Partial Birth Abortion
By Randi Sue O'Dette
" Wow, I can not believe it, Lord. After waiting all this time, I will finally be able to meet my mom. God, how come I do not hear my daddy's voice? I thought you said that all children have mommy's and daddy's. Yet, I have never heard my daddy's voice. Where is he? The last time I heard Grandpa's voice, he was angry about me. Why? What did I do to make Grandpa so angry? I didn't kick Mommy too hard, did I?"
"Mommy, why are we in Grandma's car? Where are we going? Why am I so scared? Where are we going, Mommy? Be careful Mom, I do not want you to fall getting out of Grandma's car. Why did you and Grandma not talk in the car? Did I make her mad like Grandpa? Why are you so sad today? Whose voice is that? I have never heard his voice before. Why does Grandma call him doctor? He does not sound like the doctor who told you I was in here. Why can't we go visit him? I do not like the way this guy talks. Mommy, what is an abortion? Why do you tell the doctor you want one? Why are you so sad when you say that? Mommy, guess who is here with me, my angel. She says that God sent her to be with me. I know that God normally sends angels when it's time for birth. But, she is early. She says that what you decide now will affect me for the rest of my life.
Mommy, why is that doctor talking about abortions again? Why do I get so scared every time he says it? I do not like him, Mommy; lets go to the other doctor. I like the other doctor better. Mommy, why is the doctor's hand in here with me? Why is he turning me around so I am feet first? My angel says everything will be okay. But I do not want his hand in here with me. I am trying to kick him so he will get out. My angel says I will not get to meet you Mommy, why? I have been looking forward to meeting you all this time, why can't I? Mommy, my angel says I have to go back to heaven with her. I don't want to, Mommy. I want to meet you. That doctor, he is pulling me down now, why Mommy, why? It is too early for me. I am not done growing yet. Mommy, I am almost out know. It will not be long until I get to meet you. I can't wait. Ouch, Mommy that hurts. Why is the doctor hurting me? My angel tells me that I have to go back to heaven again. Why? Mommy can't you stop this? Mommy, I have not even gotten to meet you and now I have to say goodbye. Why? I LOVE YOU MOMMY. Goodbye."
"Mommy, I am in heaven know. I know you can not hear me. But my angel says you often think about me. She says you are sorry for aborting me. So, I guess what the doctor did to me was an abortion. Mommy, why are things as cruel as that legal?" Unwanted
by Gail Colomy
The light was always a soft, warm, dark rose colour around her, a calming, soothing colour. Although the place was very small, it was completely comfortable, with round sides, silky smooth on the inside. The water was always warm, not too warm, but just right. She had floated in it for all of her short life, and had known no other way of living. Then there were the sounds. They weren't always calming, not always soothing. Oh, sometimes they were. There would be a higher sound, but it was never crystal clear, it always sounded as though it was coming through a wall of cotton, muffled, yet distinct. She loved that sound, and was becoming very familiar with it. Whenever it was alone, it was a sweet, loving sound. But when the low, rumbling sound was with it, the sweet, high sound was shaky and upset. The low one terrified her. The tone if it sent waves of dread and fear washing over her. Then it would leave, but it took a while for the high sound to start again, and she would feel the contractions of the high one as it cried. And although she never knew why, she would always feel hopeless and alone.
She never knew what time it was, for time never existed for her. Most of the time she slept, and when she was awake, all there was were the sounds. Beside the high one that she had grown to love, there were melodic songs, quietly drifting her off to sleep. And there were many sounds, high and low, all blending into a muted roar, still sounding as though it were coming from the other side of a cotton wall. The movement could become irritating at times, like when she was trying to sleep, all of a sudden her water-filled home would be jerked from side to side, jolting her awake again. And then there would be times when it was as though something changed. She would feel sick, nauseous, dizzy. She couldn't concentrate. Her small body would burn as the thing would course through her tiny veins, traveling to her brain, heart and everywhere else in a matter of seconds. It would eventually stop, the alcohol finally wearing off, but she would never be exactly the same as she was before it. It was as though something had died every time it happened. Other times she would feel as though she were floating mentally. It would feel nice at first , she would feel as though there was nothing wrong. But then the pain would come. Spidery tendrils of pain shooting though her tiny head would go on for hours afterwards, until the narcotic high was finally over. Why she got these feelings she never knew, all she knew was that she didn't like them at all, and they seemed to be coming more and more.
The woman wandered around their tiny apartment. The furniture was scarce and tattered, and smelled like mildew and the last garage sale it had been at. Everything seemed to have a permanent layer of dust on it. She didn't know what to do. There were so many problems going on in her life that she felt as though she would go crazy. Money was such a huge problem, because of her new realization that the pills and drinks that her boyfriend gave her helped her forget the problems, she had to spend most of the money on those, leaving little for anything else. And then there was the baby. He said that there was no way that she could have it, he took no responsibility for it, and he would kick her out if she didn't get rid of it. A month had gone by since she found out that she was pregnant. The first few days, before she had told him, were the best days of her entire life, the realization of actually having a child of her own giving her so much joy. But then she made the mistake of telling him. He blamed her for it, and got so mad that he hit her, harder than all of the other times. She still bore the bruise from it. But the pain from the punch was nothing compared to the pain of having to give up her child. How could she? But then again, how could she not? He was the one that provided the money, the apartment, if she had to leave, where could she go? It would be one less problem to worry about, and she could have more kids when they settled down and got married. She would probably end up getting rid of it. He had even said that he would pay for it. She got down her favorite music box and placed it on her stomach. She showed no physical signs of the pregnancy yet, but she knew she was because of the doctor's test. She also knew deep down that it was a girl. But now she was going to have to forget all of those things, names, wallpaper, late night feedings, because she was going to have to get rid of it. She would go tomorrow and get it over with, so she wouldn't get to attached to it. The doctor said that it would be easier that way. But then again, what do doctors know anyway? A tear trickled down her cheek.
She woke up with a feeling of dread. Something was going to happen today. Something bad. She could feel it. But she didn't know what. Every movement of her water-filled home was jerky and caught her by surprise. Oh well, maybe it will go away. She tried to fall back asleep.
As the woman drove to the hospital, she tried desperately to focus on the benefits of what she was about to do. "We're not ready for a baby," she told herself, "we can't afford it." She pulled into the parking lot, got out, and walked in, dreading every step.
Instead of going away, the feeling fear grew. She was mirroring her mother's feelings, and was terrified of what was going to happen next.
The woman winced at the number of machines that were around her. The doctor had said that it would be a very simple procedure, he would give her a pain killing medicine, scrape the sides of her uterus, and suck out the tissue. She swallowed hard, and took the pills. They stuck to her throat. She thought she would throw up.
The effects of the pills made her panic. She didn't want to feel this way, it scared her, and the heightened senses of dread and fear didn't help. It was happening, and she had no way of stopping it. "Mother, what's happening?"
Tears streamed down her face as the doctor scraped her. Even though she couldn't feel it, she knew that he was killing her baby. And she had given him permission. "It's all for the best, my daughter."
"No mommy, what's happening!? Why mommy, why is this happening? Why does it hurt?"
"I love you my child. I'm so sorry."
All she could hear was the high sound of her crying, still as though through a cotton wall. It slowly faded away.

Mommy....WHY?
by Catherine Daniels

Mommy... mommy can you hear me Do you even know me Do you know who I am I am your unborn child The one you sent away Before I was even born I would have been just perfect Ten fingers and ten toes Deep gazing eyes And a head full of hair Just as you wanted me to be Why mommy why did you do it Why did you give me up Before you even saw me Why did you choose For me to die Before you even heard me cry What did daddy have to say What did he think of this You did not even tell him?! Why not mommy Maybe he would have wanted me He loved you so very much And wanted to be a family Yet he knew you were hiding A terrible secret from him We all could have been so... HAPPY Just the three of us Well mommy my time is up But please dont ever forget me You know I still love you And I always will I just wish you would have Given me half a chance To prove my love for you And mommy... Tell daddy Tell daddy the truth If not for you For the next me,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It Comes With A Price
by Emily Oborski
A frightened young woman approaches the room, While an unknowing baby lies calm in her womb. For the doctors this simply is an everyday task, But for her it caused sadness she just couldn’t mask. She laid on the table with tightly closed eyes, While far back in her mind she heard terrified cries, The doctors assured her she’d made the right choice, But all she could hear was her baby’s scared voice. It was too late, now though. The damage was done. There was nowhere to hide, and nowhere to run From this new emptiness she found deep in her heart, Now that she and her baby had been torn apart. There once was a day when our morals were strong, When life was a gift, and when murder was wrong. Now I wonder, how could we get so confused, And how could our freedoms get this misused? They’ll try and convince us of well-thought-out ploys That killing a child is a woman’s own choice. They’ll say, "It is tissue. It just causes strife." But God says, "That’s my child. I have plans for his life."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WANTED CHILD
by Kristen White
The child I love The one that I mourn, Never had a chance She never was born. A dear sweet child That never had a voice Because of her mothers' Right to a choice. I begged and I pleaded And I cried at her feet, I offered my own life To preserve that heartbeat. Alas, in the end It was all done in vain, Not for one moment Would she feel my pain. Well, I am the father And I have a voice, For the love of God Why don't I have a choice?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From Abortion to Conversion: Testimony of a Former Abortion Provider KATHY SPARKS I'm very excited to be here today. There is a lot that's happened in my life and I just want to take this short amount of time I have today and open up my life to all of you, and, hopefully, all that I've been a part of and all that I'm doing right now will encourage you and somewhat shed a light on the abortion issue. Let me just begin with a little bit about my past, and I think that's very important. It is important when you hear someone's personal testimony to be able to understand them better, and that is if you know where they've come from, where they've been, and what made them the way they were. I want to begin by letting you know that even as a very young person, when I was 16 and 17, I used to volunteer at a hospital. I had a strong desire to be a nurse when I grew up, and I got married and during that time I went to Southern Illinois University (SIU) at Edwardsville, and I was studying to become a nurse. During that period of time I met Mike, and therefore divorced my first husband, and Mike and I got married. As far as my religious background, I was Catholic; always had been Catholic. I went to Catholic school and then had taken religious instruction all my life--so I had a definite background. But there was no personal relationship with Jesus Christ at all. I had kind of a misunderstanding about religion. I used to feel that as long as I went to church every Sunday and went to Confession every three months that that was good enough to get me into heaven. In the meantime on Saturday nights and all through the week I was pretty much living in the fast lane. I was talking earlier to Nita (who will be speaking later) and we were just sharing for a moment how evil we really were. And from the type of person that I was to seeing what the Lord has done through me now, is really incredible. Unlike Dr. Brewer's statement about how it hurts at first, and as they progress in sin it becomes easier and easier, I was kind of wicked to begin with, so it was easy right away. While I was going to SIU and shortly after Mike and I were married I became pregnant with our first child. Interesting enough, when I went to the doctor (I had had only one period after we were married, and got pregnant, so it was very unexpected, very unplanned), he did the pelvic exam and I had suspected because I was very sick. The first thing he said to me was, "Don't worry about this Mrs. Sparks, we can take care of this." He said, "I happen to have time at this Reproductive Health Clinic and I do abortions there in the evening." He said, "So there's no problem, you can go ahead and have an abortion, then you can have children when you and your husband are ready." It is incredible that I was in such shock at that time as I was very pro-choice, but I didn't think about it. I'm very thankful now because we have a wonderful 10-year-old daughter and I'm very thankful that I did not listen to that seed that he had planted in my heart. It was almost like, well, I'm married, so that couldn't justify it. With the baby on the way we couldn't financially afford for me to continue my education, so I left college with the thought that I would return to it later. When I worked at the hospital, I worked on the OB floor. I had to experience all the different areas of the hospital before they allowed me to choose where I wanted to volunteer. It was incredible because I used to love to watch babies being born and I knew that was the type of nurse I wanted to be. I wanted to work on the OB floor and help deliver those babies. Right after the birth of Shannon, I knew that I needed to go back to work. We were in very bad financial shape and one of the people who lived in the apartment downstairs worked at the abortion clinic on the other side. At this particular abortion clinic there are two sides: the OB/GYN side where women go in to have babies, and on the other side they abort them. Let me tell you, it is very contradictory. She told me that there was an opening for a medical assistant on the abortion side of the clinic down at Hope and suggested I go down and apply for the job. I thought about it and talked to Mike about it, and when I asked her how much money they paid, she told me it was excellent. I thought this was great; I'd be in the medical field; I didn't necessary have to have my degree. So I went down and had a very intense interview. Let me tell you, as all of the former abortionists will tell you, that they really want to make sure that you are pro-choice before they hire you, and I really was. I did not have to convince them; it was obvious. They did put me through a second interview, however; they wanted to make doubly sure that they were hiring someone who was pro-choice. They primarily hired me to assist the doctor during the abortion procedure, but now I can see how God's hand was upon me, even then, because I was allowed to view every single area of that abortion clinic. In the beginning, they trained me to answer the telephones and to make appointments. You are going to see, as we all share our testimonies, that every abortion clinic is unique in the fact that they are all different, even though they do the same thing. In this particular abortion clinic, when the girl set up her appointment, if the girl sounded even the least bit anxious to make the appointment for that day, they did not want her to have an opportunity to change her mind or to have someone talk her out of it, or the possibility of her going to another abortion clinic. As you will see as I tell you about this clinic, I believe the love of money was the root of evil that happened at this particular abortion clinic (this is only my opinion). We did between 40 and 60 a day at this one clinic; they were very busy and they did abortions approximately four days per week. We would just stay there late and work sometimes two hours overtime to get those extra girls in. Sometimes they were more than content to wait until the next day, or perhaps the next week; other times they had to have it done then, and, indeed, they would get their abortion that day. So, I answered phones and set up trays in the morning. We would put the instruments in a big sterilizer and set them all up; about ten at a time; then we'd set more up. Then I was trained to do all sorts of fun medical things, like take blood pressure. I just really loved it; I really liked it; I liked my job. I got to wear a white uniform. All the desires in my heart to be a nurse were being somewhat fulfilled, as evil as it was. I did not see how evil abortion was. It did not bother me at all. When I saw my first abortion procedure, I didn't see it any differently than dissecting a frog in biology. I had blinders upon my eyes, as I believe many people involved in the abortion industry do. I believe that many of them, giving them the benefit of the doubt, didn't really see the evil that they were partaking in. In my opinion, the most important part of this particular abortion clinic was the counseling. I was able to sit in with one particular worker who had eight years of college; she was so very good. She could sit down with these girls during counseling and she could cry with them at the drop of a pin. She would immediately start drawing them out, asking them all kinds of good questions. She would find out what their pressure point was. What was driving them to want to abort that child, and whatever that pressure point was, she would magnify it. If it was the fact that her parents were going to "kill" her, and she didn't know how she was going to be able to tell her parents; then the counselor would proceed by telling her, you don't have to do this; that's why abortion is here; we want to help you; this is the answer to your problems. Oftentimes, if it was money, she would tell them how much baby items cost. You know, it does cost $3,000 to have a baby now, and, you know, baby shoes are $28; sleepers are $15. You know, that's what's wonderful about abortion; we can take care of this problem and you don't have to worry about it until you are financially prepared to have a child. So that's what the counselors would do. The counseling at this particular abortion clinic was so effective that 99 out of every 100 women would go ahead and abort. So that's very effective counseling; a very important part of that abortion clinic. After they were counseled, they were put back in the waiting area to wait for their turn to go and have the procedure. I do want to interject here about sidewalk counseling because some people have talked about that. Dr. Hill said that he did not see picketers; we did have picketers. But back then, and this was ten years ago, we didn't have very nice picketers. So I would like to share a little bit about what I believe might be a good and effective way to picket, because I believe picketing is very, very important; it's essential; very important. The type of picketers we had did things like egg the cars and put garbage on the doorstep, and threw broken bottles in the parking lot. The people who worked inside the abortion clinic, as well as the women who were waiting to have the abortion, they all think they're "nuts;" they think they're "loony" because of this criminal damage they're doing. A few times they would take a car key and scrape up the sides of the car; this was before they had security guards to protect the parking lot and all of our vehicles. So I would suggest that is not a good form of picketing. It's not very effective. At that time, abortion had only been legalized for approximately four or five years. It was relatively new and I think the Pro-Life Movement was just getting on its feet, and we didn't hear a whole lot about the Pro-Lifers, other than the fact that they all thought that we were murderers. I'm just telling you how I felt about Pro-Life people back then. After a while, I would sit in during the recovery room phase before I learned how to assist the doctor in the procedure room. The recovery room is an incredible place at this particular clinic. I don't know how it is now, but back then they would do so many abortions. They had recliners, like most abortion clinics do, and some girls, if they were far along in their pregnancy, would be on a stretcher. But oftentimes, there were so many girls and not enough recliners that they would be sitting on the floor. After this medical procedure, here they are sitting on the floor with a blanket around them. They would be given a couple of cookies and perhaps a soda, and as soon as they were even somewhat ready, they were out the door because they had more patients to get through. It was really sad. During that whole time, I didn't think a thing about it. It didn't bother me at all that they were sitting on the floor. We would keep moving out of the recliners and move more in, and just keep going. I worked in the clean-up room, in my opinion the worst part of the clinic because it was so messy. You had to wear rubber gloves and it was like washing dishes. That's where the babies were brought back. At the time I worked there, they only did first trimester abortions; they didn't have facilities to do second trimester. But, oftentimes, second trimester abortions were performed and these babies we would not put in the little jar with the label to send off to the pathology lab. We would put them down a flushing toilet. They had a toilet that was mounted to the wall, and it was a continually flushing toilet; it didn't have a lid or a handle. That's where we would put these babies. They knew that they couldn't turn them in or they were going to be found out that they were doing abortions which were too late term. This is what I participated in while I worked there. The ones that were small enough, which would be 12-13 weeks or less, we would put in a jar, label them, and put them in a big box to go off to the pathology lab. I want to share this with you that this is the type of person that I was. As far as moral convictions, I might have had them way earlier in my life, maybe at 17 or 18. But here I was, 21 years old, and very much into the world. I did drugs, I drank; I was just a very, very bad sinner. When the babies would be put in the jars, we would hold them up and kind of twirl them around and look at the little arm and little leg float up, and we'd put them back in the box. As sick as that sounds, that's the way it was, and that's the way it is at a lot of places right now. I think that there are two sets of people in these abortion clinics. We have the ones who have been there for a long time, since the first day, and they're more like Dr. Brewer in the fact that they've just become hardened. After a while it doesn't bother them at all. Then we have the other set who don't stay there very long, and that was me. They stay for three or four months, and they can't take it any more and they have to get away. That was basically the two types of people that I came in contact with during my short stay at that abortion clinic. Then, of course, I worked the procedure room where we assisted the doctors. We handed them their instruments, took the blood pressure, made sure that the girl was okay. They did have two registered nurses on staff there that would administer a drug called Sublimaze, which was kind of like a relaxing drug. This drug was given to the girls who were farther along, 12, 13, 14 and farther to help her become relaxed. But, oftentimes, it didn't really help. A lot of times people think that these girls are put to sleep. I've never seen an abortion where the girl was put to sleep. I do know that they do take place, of course, but not at this particular abortion clinic. So here I am, going in day-in and day-out, and things are getting very bad in my life. The Lord is allowing a lot of things to happen. My father passed away, and that was incredibly hard for me because he was an alcoholic and I was the only one of my brother and sister who really cared about him. I felt terribly lonely and sad about his death. My marriage to Mike was coming to an end quickly. All we did was fight the entire time I was pregnant. We had horrible, horrible fights; throwing clock radios across the room and it was just incredible. We were going to get a divorce; we had already seen the attorneys and we had our appointment to get a divorce. Here I was with a six-week-old daughter and didn't know what I was going to do. I lived in the town of Granite City, (IL). I don't know how many of you are familiar with that area, but I had made a sworn statement that I would never even drive into the city. Isn't that amazing? It is my home and I love it now. But I used to think that it was a factory-oriented town and I was just such a snot I really was. I just didn't even want to go down there, much less live there. But a job put me down there when I worked at a little Photo-Mat booth, and that's how I met Mike. Anyway, all the sin that I had been participating in was killing me inside. And there I was, going into the abortion clinic every day, not realizing what it was doing to my soul. I wasn't at all aware of what was happening to me, that had any part to do with why I was becoming the way I was becoming. So I became desperate, very desperate. I repeated a story my best girlfriend had told me in confidence and that was the last straw that broke the camel's back. She told me she hated me and never wanted to talk to me again. Boy, that was hard. Do you get the big picture? Here I am, assisting the doctor doing abortions every day; my husband is going to get a divorce; I have a six-week-old baby; I live in Granite City; my father passed away and my mother hated me. What else could have gone wrong? It was pretty intense. One particular night I went over to visit my mom and that was when she told me she didn't want to have anything to do with me. She didn't like Mike; she didn't approve of the fact that I'd had an affair with him; it was horrible, just horrible. I was driving home, and it was pouring down rain which added to my depression, and I considered at that moment driving my car off the bridge there into the Mississippi River. But then I remembered I had Shannon, our six-week-old daughter in the back of the car, and I thought, no, why should she suffer or die for me? So when I got home I decided what I was going to do. I was going to kill myself with my husband's off-duty revolver. He's a policeman in Granite City, a detective. So, I took his off-duty revolver and put myself in this recliner, and I put the gun to my head and I cocked it. I was hysterical. I was actually having a breakdown and didn't realize what was happening. I was just crying and crying. As God is my witness today, I tried to pull the trigger, and I could not do it. I tried to pull the trigger and I could not do it. I thought, man, I can't even kill myself. That's what I thought. It was almost as if there was a lock on the gun, and I believe there was. God had a call for me, a purpose for my life. I eventually put the gun down. I was crying and weeping, and went over to the telephone and I called Mike's mom, who at that time I used to think was a "Jesus freak" because she had no less than fifteen pictures of Jesus Christ all over her house, on her dashboard, on her bumper, hanging from the rearview mirror. I thought she was a little fanatical. Five years later, I said, mom, why do you have so many pictures of Jesus around your house? She said, honey, everywhere I look, I want to be reminded of what my Lord and Savior has done for me. That's just how much she loves Him. I love her so much. But that night, over the telephone, she said, put the gun down, pick up the baby and come over here. So I did. I got in the car and I proceeded to go over there, just a few blocks away. I want to tell you that on that short trip a car ran me off the road, up and over the curb into the front yard of a house. Talk about Satan trying to keep me from what was about to happen. When I got there, we sat down and Mike's sister was there and she took the baby inside. It was July 28th. Most people remember their second birthday. That was my born-again day. We sat on the porch and she told me about Jesus Christ, who He was, and how He lives and dwells within her. I just listened because I had never listened before. All the things I might have known, I never listened to. So that night, I held hands with her for the first time, and we prayed together, and I committed my life to Jesus Christ. I repented. I asked Him to forgive me and made that commitment. Well, an incredible thing happened. Some people see stars; some people have dreams. I had immediate joy. The depression that I had experienced just an hour previously was immediately gone. I was as happy as I am right now, just deliriously happy, almost drunk-happy, but with no alcohol. She sent me home and I was whistling a little tune. Then Mike came home. We had the appointment the very next day to get this divorce. He and I both had very bad mouths, but that's one thing God set me free of right away. I never said another bad word, it was incredible, He just removed it. Some things we have to work out, but that particular thing He took right away from me. Mike came in and he was upset and was being ugly. I looked at him and I didn't even think about this, not for one second, and I said, Mike, I'm not going to get the divorce tomorrow. He had kind of wanted me to get the divorce because he had left his other wife and they had two kids and he didn't want to be the bad guy again. So I said, if you want the divorce, Mike, you'll have to take care of this yourself, but I am going to contest it; I don't want to get the divorce. Boy, did that make him mad! He left, slammed the door, a picture fell off the wall, and I walked right down the hall and went to sleep, right to sleep. I wasn't even upset. I woke up the next day. Guess where Mike went the next day? He went over to his mother's house. He didn't know I'd been there the night before. He proceeds to tell his mother what a horrible person I am and how he just can't stand me and how he has to get this divorce. She listened, and finally told him that I had been there the night before. He thought, great! She said, Kathy gave her life to the Lord last night, Mike. He said, right, mom, not Kathy! She said, Mike, it's true. I prayed with her on this very porch. She told him that she had something for him, and she went inside and got a copy of the King James Bible that she had bought for him seven years previously (that he had never read, of course), and gave it to him. He took the Bible and left, and came home. He obviously didn't go to the attorney that day. For three weeks, all he did was read the Bible. Every time I looked at him he was reading the Bible. I must tell you one thing about my husband, a very Godly man now, but he has a wonderful desire to read. He loves reading and retains everything he reads. He took the Bible with him in the squad car, he came home, and he'd read again. He wasn't talking to me; he didn't like me too much, but he was reading all the time. I didn't care; I was happy, folding my laundry and taking care of the baby, I was so happy and I didn't know why. Three weeks later he came to me and said, Kathy, last night I gave my life to the Lord in the squad car. I just started crying. He said, you know, Kathy, I don't love you and I know that you don't love me. He had his red Bible. He said, but I believe that Jesus Christ can give us a love for one another, and so it was really exciting. He said, you know, it says here in the Bible that we're new creatures in Christ, so it looks like I better take you out on a date. Okay with me, so we got a babysitter and went out for dinner, and he kind of held my hand. It was so exciting. We courted in the Lord, it was really exciting what the Lord did for us in our marriage. Here I am, going into the abortion clinic every day. When Mike was very, very young his family were Mormons. Mike's mom had gotten saved and gotten out of it, and his dad not yet, but not really practicing. We talked about religion and talked about what we were going to be. He said, Kathy, I'm not going to be Catholic. He went to the Catholic church with me a couple of times, but he said, I'm not going to be Catholic. I said, well, I'm not going to be Mormon. So we didn't go to church. That was kind of bad because, after three months, I'm still going to the abortion clinic. After three months, Mike is still reading the Bible, and he came to me, and said, "Kathy, guess what I read?" He said, "I want to tell you that God says that we are lukewarm. And he would rather spit us out of his very mouth." What? I made him show it to me and I read it. It convicted to me. We had still been kind of partying on the weekends and didn't know any different. We still had our worldly friends. That night, Mike and I prayed together for the first time. We held hands and prayed together and said, Lord, this is it, we're going for it. Everything that is within us, we're going to serve you, no matter what it takes, no matter what the cost is. We went through our entire apartment and tore up every single piece of literature that was not Godly. Cosmopolitan Magazine, I had stock in that company, let me tell you. All of our worldly albums; we broke every single album up and took them took them to the dumpster. When we went outside to barbecue, we looked over an open field and we saw two double rainbows from the beginning to the end. We even have a picture of it on our little instamatic. Mike said, Kathy, I read about it. It was a covenant that God made with Noah. He said, God's making a covenant with us this day. Boy, were we excited! The next day I went into the abortion clinic. It was so completely different than the very day before. It was freezing cold. I could not get warm. I was chilled all the way down to my bones. I just couldn't get warm. I had a sweater on, and it was incredible because no one else seemed to notice. There was a smell, a stench in the air that I couldn't get away from. I kept breathing it and breathing it and it was making me nauseous. One of the first abortions done that day was on a woman who was 23 weeks pregnant. This woman should have had a saline or a laminaria abortion, or even a hysterectomy. Anything would have been better than to try to do a D&C on a woman who was that far along. You have to realize that in this particular abortion clinic, what would be done was she would be examined one side; a pelvic exam by one doctor; then she'd come over and go through all the blood work and sign a release paper, etc. Then, by the time it was time for her abortion, she would be examined a second time. So we're talking about two different doctors doing a pelvic exam who knew this lady was farther than certainly 12 weeks along. She lay on the table. She was a regular-built person, and she had a belly. And I thought, no way! That couldn't be the baby! So the doctor did the pelvic and sat down on his chair and mouths up to me, "very big." I'm thinking, very big, what are you going to do this for? I was trembling and getting a little bit nervous. But he began the procedure. He started to dilate her with the dilating rods and the water broke. He began to do a procedure that normally would take five to eight minutes, and we were in there for an hour. This woman was in so much pain, she was coming off the table. Every medical assistant and nurse was in that room. The nurse had to give her three doses of Sublimaze to try to calm her down. She was screaming; the nurse was yelling at her because everybody else was getting quite upset in the waiting area, as you can imagine, from this woman who was screaming. The doctor was trying to do the abortion, and the baby's bones were far too developed to rip them up with this curette, and so he had to try to pull the baby out with forceps, which he brought out three or four major pieces. Then he scraped and suctioned and scraped and suctioned. There this little baby boy was laying on the tray. I took the baby and I took him to the clean-up room, and I set him down, and I began weeping, uncontrollably sobbing for what I had been a part of because God showed me that was a baby, they were all babies, and I had been a part of murdering probably nearly 1,000 babies, and I cried and cried. His little face was perfectly formed, just like the sign you saw, perfectly formed; little eyes were closed, little ears and everything was perfect about this little boy. So the recovery nurse was wondering what was taking me so long and she walked in and looked at me. She left, didn't say a word, shut the door, and went and got the director of the abortion clinic. This woman walked in, shut the door behind her, put her hands on my shoulders and grabbed me. She began to rebuke me; pull yourself together; you're a professional. She shook me. I was a limp rag and crying and crying, this baby was 23 weeks. The doctor himself had told me how far along she was. She said, when did you get your medical degree? She took the baby boy over the toilet and put him down the toilet. I was crying and crying. Finally, when she was finished, I told her I couldn't work procedure anymore, that I'd stay in cleanup. She said, fine. We worked it out and the other girls went in to work procedure for the rest of the day. That night I went home and I told Mike about the entire experience. I said, Mike, I don't know what to do. We had thousands of dollars worth of debt. We had all the debts from his first marriage, a new baby, so much financial debt. And at the time we were such new believers in Christ that we didn't know that He was our God who would provide every need according to His riches and glory. We didn't know that yet. Apparently, Mike must have skimmed over that in the Bible, we didn't know that yet. He said, let's just pray about it. Okay, Mike, let's pray. He went to work that night and I lit two candles at the side of my bed and sat down and prayed a very childlike prayer: Lord, if you want me out, just speak to me, and if I know it's going to be okay, I'll leave, Lord. I will leave. Just tell me. I went to sleep that night, got up, and went to the abortion clinic the next morning and experienced the same smell, the same cold chills. I worked the cleanup room and at 10:00 in the morning, the director, the same lady who rebuked me the very day before, walked in and closed the door behind her. Only this time, she's very bothered. She's very troubled. "Kathy, I had a dream last night and it was so real that I don't know if I dreamed it or if you told me this, or what." I'm kind of looking at her and said, "What did you dream?" She said, "I dreamed that you walked into my office and you told me that you had to quit this place because of your religion!" I had not told a single person that I had made a commitment to the Lord. You know how you have to grow in that before you tell anybody, and I just didn't tell anybody yet. So I knew that God had given her a dream to come in and tell me to get out. So I told her, "You did have a dream; I did not tell you that, but I am going to quit. I do have to leave, and it is because of my religion. What you're doing here is wrong and I must leave." She left then. She thought I had lost my marbles the day before and now I was crying. It's amazing how Satan works, because if you don't think he's real, he sure is. She walked in later on that day and offered me $2.50 an hour more to stay and work tubal ligations. She said, "Certainly birth control isn't against your religion." I said, "Well birth control might not be against my religion, but this place is. I've got to leave. So I quit." I quite the abortion clinic and it was incredible. I went through a series of changes, as we all do when we come to know the Lord in a personal way, no matter how old we are. First, I really had to receive what Jesus Christ had done for me when He died on Calvary for me; that He died that every sin that I had committed could be cleansed and forgiven. It took me six months before I could really accept His forgiveness and I repented before Him for every abortion. I repented for every other single sin that I could think of that I had committed. I received the fact that I was a new creature. That old person was dead. So we plugged ourselves into a church, an Assembly of God church because we knew some people who seemed pretty normal there. We went to their church and got water baptized, and we plugged ourselves into the choir and every single time we could learn anything, do anything for the Lord, we were there. As the years went by, we didn't do anything with the challenge of the abortion issue. I wasn't ready yet. I wasn't old enough in Christ to begin professing what happened. I know that now. I know that God is wise and His timing is perfect. Anyway, five years into the Lord, Mike and I began to get very involved in intercessory prayer. We read every book we could get hold of, reading all about intercessory prayer. We thought, that's it, and we were praying and praying. Then we had a burden for the abortion issue. God did a really neat thing because we thought at that time, that's it, we're supposed to pray about abortion. So we're praying about abortion and really believing that God's going to do something. The Lord gave my husband a dream and He showed Mike (this was five years ago), three years before it was to happen, that we would be involved in a Crisis Pregnancy Center. Mike wrote the whole dream out. We just started praying to that means, and then I met a man who operates in the prophetic gift. He said, "You have a desire to evangelize and to share your personal experiences with women." This man was from a different state altogether and didn't even know me. And that very thing I had been praying about, he said, "I want you to know that God is opening the doors right now." I was at the right place at the right time. I shared briefly at a Bible Study in DePere, Missouri that I used to be involved in an abortion clinic, and a girl's sister was the president of Nurses for Life, Illinois Federation of Right-to-Life in Illinois and she asked me if I'd share my testimony. At that point, I started sharing my testimony, and it was incredible. The Lord just opened the doors and I went through them. I talked to right-to-life groups, high schools, radio interviews, I was on television several times, people were calling me and asking me to share. In the meantime, I still have this burden for the woman, and I felt I had so much to offer the girl who wanted to choose abortion. I felt if only I could share with her. I was looking into one particular organization, but the only thing about this organization in St. Louis was that they would not allow you to share the Gospel. They felt that part had to be kept out. At that point I said, forget it, because then it would just be a good work, and I don't to do a good work because that's the answer. Jesus Christ is the answer. So then I was on this radio broadcast on a half-hour talk show with a woman who happened to be the president of the board of directors of the Crisis Pregnancy Center in Clayton, Missouri. To make a long story short, I took the training. I knew it was obvious that God had a calling on my life to be a counselor. He taught me much in two and one-half years at the CPC in St. Louis. We had a burden for the Metro-East area because here we are, having all these women coming in who needed help over to St. Louis that lived in the Metro-East area because of all the speaking I was doing in the Metro-East area. So we formed a steering committee and for two years we worked very hard in bringing about the Metro-East Crisis Pregnancy Center. One thing I didn't want to do was be the director because I knew what it cost the director over in St. Louis. Everybody thought that I was the logical candidate because I had so much experience and had worked over in St. Louis. But I said, Mike, I'm going to tell you right now, forget it, I'm not going to be the director. Well, guess what? The Scripture in Isaiah, it says, Our ways are not God's ways, and our thoughts are not God's thoughts. He had other plans for me because a sister in the Lord challenged me, Kathy, you better pray about it. Have you prayed about it? No. As I prayed about it, God opened the door and He showed me that I was to do this at this time, and so I am presently the director of the Crisis Pregnancy Center in Granite City. We're very excited to report, after seeing since last May 250 clients, only six have aborted. So, praise God! He's doing a mighty work. We've had several girls come to know the Lord personally. We care about the girls as well as their babies. We feel if you reach the girl, you reach the baby. We're concerned about her soul as well as her life in general. So we have much to share with these girls. We're very evangelistic. We believe unless God tells you not to, you should share the Gospel, present the Gospel in a timely way with every client that comes in. We feel that the Lord says in the Word: Make the most out of every opportunity. I encourage the girls who work with us; we have 23 volunteers; I'm the only paid person on staff. I really encourage them with this because whatever we do in the Pro-Life activity, whatever it is--you might be a sidewalk counselor; a physician--whatever you are, it does begin with prayer, even as Joe said, "We need to be in prayer. Because everything else is going to come out of that." Those He calls, He equips, but we need to be prepared in our hearts, in prayer before God. This is so encouraging because people say, 'Kathy, I don't have any training, etc.' All it takes is a willing heart before God, and obedience. I want to leave you, encouraging you with the Scripture from Acts 4:13: Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marveled, and they realized that they had been with Jesus. That's what it's all about. If we're with Jesus, it doesn't matter if we're untrained, God will use us. He's looking for vessels, cleansed and purified, and ready to do His work. Thank you for having me.

Pages