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| ~ The Smile Starter ~ Smiling is infectious, You catch it like the flu. When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too. I passed around the corner, and someone saw my grin. When he smiled I realized, I'd passed it to him. I thought about that smile, then I realized its worth. A single smile just like mine, could travel the earth. So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected. Let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected! (Author unknown) |
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| Help wanted A sign was hung in an office window. It read: Help wanted. Must type 70 words a minute. Must be computer literate. Must be bilingual. An equal opportunity employer. A dog was ambling down the street and saw the sign. He looked at it for a moment, pulled it down with his mouth, and walked into the manager's office, making it clear he wished to apply for the job. The office manager laughed and said, "I can't hire a dog for this job." The dog pointed to the line: "An equal opportunity employer." So the manager said, "OK, take this letter and type it." The dog went off to the word processor and returned a minute later with the finished letter, perfectly formatted. The manager said, "Alright, here's a problem. Write a computer program for it and run it." Fifteen minutes later, the dog came back with the correct answer. The manager still wasn't convinced. "I still can't hire you for this position. You've got to be bilingual." The dog looked up at the manager and said, "Meow." |
| wake up call Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone. . . "Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up. The next morning at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back. "Good morning, Mr. Williams.... Just called to say that I don't have a dog." |
| Backup young man decided to join the police force. As a recruit he was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup." |
| Crime doesnt pay A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 100 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION." |
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