For the time being this is going to be my "STORY PAGE". A different story every week. So come back often to read and maybe see some of the stupid things I have participated in, in the past 29 years.
What you are about to read is real. This story is taken from actual events that have taken place within the past 29 years. Some names have been omitted to save myself from being sued. But all stories are true and depicted to the best of my knowledge. Kids for that matter NO ONE please try to recreate anything you are about to read.
For those of you that did not get a chance to read the first edition of "STORY TIME", I have created a link to "STORY TIME" archive, which is a hyper link on the main page. The link is titled "Past Stories". Please visit to read all previous stories that I have published.
This story starts with me and Amber sitting on the couch watching a movie. Not sure what it was we were watching, but during the movie we could hear Speedy coming up our hill. I thought I had a photo of the hill, but for some reason it is not here. So anyway, we could tell it was speedy from the sound of the vehicle coming. The truck was approaching our house at its normal speed of about sixty seventy so the noise was extremely loud. This did not bother Amber or me because we were use to the sound at about 3:00am on the weekend. Wait caught my attention was the next sound.
Our house was positioned around the corner at the top of the hill. You had to make a u-turn to get to the house. Well Speedy being Speedy did not make the turn in your normal fashion. Here is a photo of the corner.
Gives you are general idea of were I am talking about. For those of you that have visited Ironwood and just are not sure were this would be The Big Indian might help you out. We lived just down the road from the backside. When Speedy got closer to the top of the hill we could hear the truck slow down to the crawling speed(for Speedy) of about forty mph. Speedy has had this thing with taking the corner and squealing the tires of whatever vehicle he is driving. Well we heard a quick and very slight squeak of the tires. I looked at Amber and told her something must be wrong. I got up walked to the porch to look out the window. View of our house.
As I am standing on the porch I see Speedy's truck driving toward our yard. I remember saying to myself "What the Hell is he doing?" The truck continues to drive toward the house until it hits the curb. Some how the wheel was jarred enough to send the truck in the opposite direction of the house. A good thing right? Well here is a photo of what is on the other side of the road from our house.
This picture does not give a full view of the park. But you can see the bench and the tetter totter. Well some how the truck drove through all of the park equipment with out scratch. Which brings us to the next photo. What is beyond the park.
If you look at the photo close enough you can see the fence on the 3rd baseline of "Manny's Softball field." Look beyond that out in left field and you can see that there are two more fences. As the truck makes the safe passage through the park it continues on until it crosses the hill that Speedy just traveled up. The truck has now done a 270-degree turn since making the corner. I am still standing on the porch wondering what the hell Speedy is doing. I was soon answered.
Just before the truck hit the fence I heard someone yell "HOLY SHIT!" I look up the road to find Speedy lying in the middle of the road.(See first photo) Ya Speedy is laying in the road. Explanation soon to come.
So Speedy picks himself up off the road and starts to chase his truck into left field. By the time Speedy gets up the truck is already through the fence at third base and on its way to left field. The truck hits the first fence in left field and gets stuck on the second. Lucky for Speedy the old fence was left up when the new fence was put in. The second fence stopped the truck going any further. (FYI)On the other side of the two fences was another park. At this time it was empty. Beyond that would be an open pit that dropped off I would guess a hundred foot or so. The entire time Speedy was chasing the truck you could hear him yelling "Oh shit!" It was much funnier to hear him saying it over and over as he was running after a truck.
Well Speedy was able to get the truck untangled from the fence and get it up to our driveway. Without hesitation he said he needed to call the local law enforcement officers to report his accident. (Speedy was and is a law abiding citizen) While waiting for the officer to show up at the house, Speedy was under an extreme amount of stress. Due to the amount of stress he thought it was a good idea to subject himself to a beer. Ok not "a" beer, but several beers. Come on this guy was just ejected from a vehicle. The officer shows up at our house to get the story. (As explained to officer) I was coming up the hill and started to make the turn to go home. As I made the corner I was leaning on the door of my truck. Unfortunately the door on the truck opened up midturn. As it did I was thrown from the vehicle. The truck drove toward the house hit the curb the wheels turned drove through the park drove across the hill drove over the first fence over the second fence and lay on top of the third fence. I got the truck unstuck from the fence and drove it home. As soon as I got home I called you. When I hung up the phone I was under so much pressure I thought I would have a beer to try and calm my nerves.
The officer looks at me all I could do is shake my head. It was all true. After a short break from laughter, the officer explained to Speedy he had to issue him a citation. Lets see, how many violations are there during this scene? Well the officer started to write out the ticket. As he was handing the ticket to Speedy he explained what is was for. "Speedy(officer used real name) I have issued you a citation for "failure to wear seatbelt." He went on explaining the citation court date and so forth. I could not stand it anymore I had to go back in the house to laugh my ass off. After all the destruction and all of the other violations Speedy received a citation for not wearing his seatbelt. That morning once the sun came up we came out to check out the damage. This photo shows you the squeal marks from the truck. Notice how short it is. That is how I knew something was wrong. Speedy would never leave that small of a patch. Also, you have to picture this part. Just forward of the patch of tire picture an open bag of Doritos and a can of jalapeno cheddar cheese dip. Speedy's favorite food group after a night in Hurley.
The fences were down and the truck had exchanged a little bit of paint with the fences. Speedy received his seatbelt violation ticket, but things were back to normal. We received several phone calls that day as the news of the accident got around town. Ironwood is like a salon with a bunch of old ladies when it comes to passing the word of something happening. We had a friend call pretending to be an insurance agent for the fence company. I have been looking for the police report that was put in the "Ironwood Daily Glob” I have not been able to find it as of yet. But if I do I will make sure I put it in.
This is the final story here at "Story Time" until I get broadband back. Make sure you click the link below to read past stories.
