badquote

Yes, that's right, I'm going to start a list of quotes from bad horror movies. I happened to run across a list of quotes we wrote down from Night of the Demons II a while ago and I think this will be amusing...well, to me anyway. What this means is that I'm going to have to watch more bad horror movies in order to acquire more quotes, so my roommates are going to want to kill me, most likely. But oh well. Oh, and I guess if I find amusing quotes from movies that aren't bad horror movies I might put the up here too, what the hell.
Oh, and a warning...most of these quotes are just outrightly sexual. And probably only funny in context.
Enjoy.

This isn't a quote from any movie, but I thought it was really amusing (it kinda reminds me of that part in one of the Scream movies where that one cute movie-obsessed-dweeb guy made up that list-thingie to help everyone out):
HORROR FILM WISDOM:
1. When it seems that you've killed a monster, never check to see if it's really dead.
2. If you find that your house is built by oron a cemetary, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants that committed suicide or went mad or died in some horrible fashion or performed necrophilia or satanic practices in some way, move IMMEDIATELY.
3. Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out.
4. If your children speak to you in Latin or some other language that they do not know, or if they speak in a voice that is not their own, shoot them at once. It will save you alot of grief in the long run. Note: it's unlikely they'll die easy, so be prepared.
5. When you have the benefit of numbers, never go alone.
6. If you're searching for something that caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
7. If you're running from a monster, you'll most likely trip or fall. If you're a female, you definitely will.
8. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize that one), the Bermuda Triangle, and any small town in Maine, especially if it is called Derry.
9.If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house for help.
10. When someone bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start your car, no matter how reliable it is normally, you'll have to crank the engine many times before it starts up.
11. People arriving to help you generally get ambushed by the monster, so don't rely on them as your only means of escape. In fact, expect to be surprised and delayed by encountering their flayed corpse at some moment.
12. Do not call the police as they are either evil and will turn you in, or will not believe you and laugh at you. Either way, you must handle the problem yourself.
13. If you are using a gun to combat the all-consuming evil, it is a good idea to have another means of defense, because no matter how much ammo you have, you'll run out before you kill the monster (unless your name is Ash, in which case you'll never have to reload.
14. If you have defeated the monster, pay close attention to the camera. If it pans away for no apparent reason at all, get the hell out of there.
15. Skeptics are always proved wrong in some horrible, nasty, painful way. Be a believer.
16. If you are a child, don't panic!! Monsters only attack overly horny teenagers. Children can NOT be killed, only possessed or absorbed. So cheer up.
17. If you've beaten the monster to a bloody pulp and are sure it must be dead, take the opportunity to burn, dismember, eat, blow up, or otherwise utterly destroy it.