My Personal AD

Okay, why am I putting up a personal ad, you ask?  Well, because nothing else seems to work!  So, as a last resort, here is my personal ad.  And if it seems like I'm asking for a bit much...well...might as well aim high, no?

Single white female, 20, in search of a  single male, 19-24, ethnicity not an issue.  Must be intellegent, funny, compassionate, well-spoken, a good listener, loyal, honest, affectionate, open-minded, and easy going.  Must be able to look me deep in the eyes and tell me that I'm beautiful, smart, funny, and articulate without laughing out loud.  Must also hold my hand often, hold me and stroke my hair until I fall asleep, and be able to say "I love you" often without thinking of it as a burden.  Needs to be responsible yet carefree, mature yet able to cut loose.  Must enjoy music, movies (bad 'B' movies as well as good ones), nature, walking, hanging out with my friends, long pointless drives, museums, thrift store shopping, quiet evenings together, loud evenings with other people.  Must dislike Abercrombie and the mall in general, dishonesty,  narrow-mindedness, mean people, gangsta rap (unless it's funny), that "steal my sunshine" song, Dusty Davis, Bad Kyle, and everything else that slipped my mind.

Must also fit these qualifications (In no particular order): 1.Intellegent (dumb boys are no fun) 2. Heterosexual 3. No mullets (NO EXCEPTIONS) 4. Funny 5. Thinks I'm funny 6. Likes my friends 7. My friends like him 8. Articulate 9. Well-read 10. Similiar taste in music; if not similiar than at least respectable 11. Inquisitive, but not nosy 12. Polite, but not too polite 13. Affectionate, but not smothering 14. Witty 15. Can stay up as late as me 16. Likes to travel 17. Will let me dye his hair 18. Will let me paint his toenails 19. Musical talent is a bonus 20. Is not appearance obsessed 21. Likes nature 22. Is not judgmental 23. Will watch bad horror movies with me 24. Cuddly 25. Good kisser 26. Compassionate 27. Doesn't wear Abercrombie/Polo/Ralph Lauen/Tommy 28. Goodwill shopper a plus 29. Quirky, but not too quirky 30. Self-sufficient 31. Well-spoken 32. Smoking okay 33. Drinking okay (everything in moderation) 34. Educated, or at least smart 35. Gets along with my parents 36. Gets along with his parents a plus 37. Honest 38. Caring 39. Appreciative 40. Considers me his best friend 41. Sarcastic but NOT MEAN 42. Doesn't piss me off all of the time 43. Doesn't piss other people off all of the time 44. Doesn't have any really annoying habits 45. Respects me 46. Isn't afraid to tell me he loves me 47. Will play with my hair willingly 48. Not a neat freak 49. Does nice things for no reason 50. Remembers my birthday 51. Knows my many faults and loves me anyway 52. Knows how insecure I am and reassures me without getting too annoyed 53. Tells me I'm special and makes me believe it and believes it himself 54. Isn't a bigot 55. Smiles alot 56. Scruffy a bonus 57. Preferably taller than me, but if not that's okay too 58. Has morals similiar to mine 59. Not obsessed with material things 60. Doesn't "pimp-out" his automobile 61. Listens to me 62. Chivalrous 63. Likes animals 64. Easy-going 65. Night person 66. Won't get annoyed with me playing Oregon Trail 67. Doesn't get mad when I beat his ass at nintendo 68. Likes just sitting by the river 69. Doesn't go "cruising" 70. Isn't a "playa" 71. Isn't intimidating 72. Introduces me to friends of his I don't know when we run into them in public 73. Has nice hands