"Lily, tell me. Trust me, you'll feel a lot better once you get all of this out."
"All right." Lily was hiccuping softly and shaking a bit, but she tried her best to sit up straight and keep her face dry. Managing to stay somewhat in control of herself, she related the whole story to Serverus, hardly stopping for breath. At the end of her narrative, she shuddered, then leaned against his shoulder, he with a drawn and pinched countenance.
"Lily, I'm so sorry this had to happen to you."
"Don't be sorry. I was stupid."
"You weren't. It wasn't your fault, and don't you dare blame yourself for it."
"Yes, sir."
"Are you sick?"
"No. Overly depressed and hurt and dehydrated and weak and wobbly and tired, yes. Sick, no."
He searched her face, looking for something he didn't find. Then, with a sigh, he heaved himself up off of the sofa.
"C'mon. I'm taking you to Gryffindor Tower."
"You know where it is?"
"I have the general direction down. Yes."
"All right." Lily wiped her eyes one last time and submitted to being pulled gently out of the library. Two corridors away, Lily stopped.
"It's probably best you stop here. I know for a fact you're not allowed inside the common room." She turned away, but Serverus pulled her back.
"Lily, a word of advice. James can convert people pretty quickly into thinking what he does, and I'd not stay in the common room if I were you. Go to your old dormitory. I mean-that is-if you want to. Please don't think I'm trying to order you around. I'm not."
Lily half-smiled. "I didn't think so. Thank you so much. I-I don't know anyone else here at Hogwarts that has been a better friend to me than you. This year," she added. "I don't mean to sound all mushy, but you're the best friend I think I've ever had. Thank you." Her expression was sincere, and Serverus had no doubt that she meant what she said. Though it did take him quite a bit off his guard.
"Er-you're welcome. I didn't do anything, though, did I?"
Pushing her hair behind her ears, Lily grinned. "You did much more than you think you did." She rounded the corner, feeling more secure and loved than she had in days. Not love-loved, she told herself, pushing open the portrait door, just friend-loved. And with what she had been through, that was the only kind that mattered.
She didn't take Serverus' advice on one point; she headed for the fire in the common room. It was empty, as was most of the school except for a few second, first, and seventh years, who hadn't gone to Hogsmeade. Amanda was sitting by the fire with Eva, both of them immersed in a chess game.
"Amanda. Eva. Hi."
They looked up. "Oh, hi, Lily. Not going to Hogsmeade?"
"I've already been."
"Already been? You couldn't have spent three hours there!"
Eva shushed Amanda with a movement of her hand. "'Manda, something's wrong. Lily, what happened?"
Lily sighed. Eva was right, there was something wrong, but she didn't know if it was best to tell her what had happened.
"Nothing."
"Liar. Lily, I know you too well. What's wrong?"
"I'm not telling anything this afternoon. Not today."
Eva looked worried. "Are you sure? You might feel a lot better."
"I've already told someone. I do feel better, but now I think that telling anyone else might bring everything back that I'm trying to forget."
"Well, can we go to that someone?"
Lily slowly nodded. "I don't think I'd mind. Yes. Go ahead."
"Well, who did you go to?"
"Serverus."
"Snape? You went to him, of all people? Why not to someone nicer or-well, more understanding, or at least friendlier. Why go to that overgrown bat?"
Lily's eyes flashed dangerously, and Amanda shrank back. "He's my friend, and I have a right to go to whomever I wish to go to for consolation. I'm going to bed." With that, she pushed herself off of her chair and stalked up the dormitory stairs, not so much angry as terribly tired. She didn't heed the calling of her old school friend behind her.
"To bed? Lily, it's not even three yet!"
She woke from her nap around six, and she found the dormitory empty. Shaking her hair away from her face, she slipped into her shoes and made for the Great Hall, where the rest of the school would be eating. The common room was empty, and she headed out of the portrait door as fast as she could.
Lily entered the Great Hall and stepped towards her usual seat for the past month; the one she had held at the beginning of last year, though Sirius was shooting warning glances at her not to come any closer. She therefore wasn't surprised to find Serena in her seat and Diana and Elspeth where Eva and Miranda usually sat.
"Hi! Any room left for me?"
James looked her up and down coldly. "No." He turned back to his food.
Lily pressed her lips together. "Well then. Someone's in a bad mood. What happened?"
He didn't pay her any mind, not even turning to look at her. Serena did, however.
"What are you doing here?"
"I might ask you that same question. You're in my seat."
"It's mine now. I got here first."
"You did. So?"
"So this is going to be my seat from now on. Go to your little second-year friends, and leave us alone."
Lily raised her eyebrows. "You're being a regular little fanged serpent."
"Yeah, well, you're being a rampaging cow. You're not wanted here, so leave, why don't you?"
"Because I'm already here, and because I don't feel like leaving just yet. I used to be wanted, or at least accepted, so what happened?"
"You don't deserve to be accepted among us."
"I used to be. James used to beg me to deliver messages to you. And vice versa."
"Exactly. Used to be. That was when you were useful."
James didn't look up. "You tell her, Serena."
Sirius frowned, but his comment was drowned out by Serena's spiteful remarks.
"You're not useful any more; you're a regular little Orc. Go somewhere else and amuse yourself with your rabble."
"Why should I?"
"Because I said so, that's why. Leave us in peace."
Lily shrugged. "I don't mind. I'd rather sit among a herd of asps than here with you. Goodbye. I go now to my rabble." She whirled, leaving Sirius and Remus behind with very relieved expressions.
Later that night as she sat playing checkers with Sirius, the portrait opened and James and Serena climbed in, both of them smiling and chattering excitedly. They stopped, however, once they got within three feet of Sirius and Lily.
"Sirius, what're you doing with her?"
Lily pushed Sirius back into his chair and faced James squarely. "He's playing checkers. Anything else you want to ask?"
"Yeah, what're you doing with one of my friends?"
"Playing checkers with him. I thought that was obvious."
"Watch your mouth, Evans."
"I can't. Not unless I stand in front of a mirror all day long, and I don't plan to do that."
"You're getting too uppity, and I suggest you shut up while you're ahead."
"Oh, I'm ahead? Thanks for admitting that."
"Admitting what?"
"That I’m beating you at retorts."
Serena pulled gently at James' arm. "James, you promised me you'd help me with my Defense Against the Dark Arts homework." Her musical tones made James turn away.
"Oh, right, I did. Come on."
Lily watched them go, with an expression Sirius was rather relieved to see. Disgust.
Over the next few days, Lily, to the relief of her friends, was seemingly untouched by the treachery of someone she had thought to be her friend. Serena everyone knew she didn't care about, so they didn't trouble themselves about her., and neither did Lily. But James was out of favor with half of the Gryffindors; the rest just didn't care. But out of those that did, he was quite the image of a traitorous worm, and they were all looking forward to the inevitable quarrel all couples had, sooner or later. To everyone's surprise, though, they showed no signs of quarreling at all, not even a friendly spat after two weeks, and the next Quidditch match was drawing near.
James was practicing almost nonstop, and Lily was attending every one of the Slytherin team practices. She was getting very good at fixing small injuries, which Edgar Hatcher was getting even better at inflicting. The team was considering looking for a new Seeker very seriously.
It was the morning before the Quidditch match; a Saturday, and breakfast time. Tired and stiff, wiping sleep out of her eyes, Lily walked down to the Great Hall, where the mail was being delivered. Sliding into her seat between Miranda and Eva, both extremely excited, she had to jump back as quite a thick letter splashed into the milk jug in front of her.
Eva drew back instantly, as did Miranda. Neither of them wanted to touch the envelope, which was bright red. Lily couldn't see anything wrong with it, so she was a bit surprised at her friends' reactions. She fished it out a bit tentatively and held it by one corner, waiting for something to happen. The next moment, something did, shaking the dust off of the walls and bright sky-blue ceiling.
A screaming voice burst out of the scarlet envelope, and Lily immediately understood why Eva and Amanda had stuffed their fingers in their ears. Ringing in her own was a voice she remembered from her first visit to Diagon Alley and last Christmas. Sheila. And, from the sound of things, she wasn’t too happy.
Evans, you and me are taking this one outside. You've ruined practically all-
Lily had had enough. Whipping out her wand, she pointed it at the Howler.
"Percuquo!"
The whole of the Great Hall watched in astonishment as burning remnants of the Howler fell onto the floor and the voice faded away. Lily shot a triumphant glance over to the Ravenclaw table and slipped back into her seat, under the scrutiny of the whole school.
She was the first to leave the Hall after breakfast, thinking to herself that if she hated this attention, she'd hate even more being a sort of political ruler.
Quiet and withdrawn, she dressed for the Quidditch game (Gryffindor against Slytherin) afterwards, purposely pulling out the dark green cloak trimmed with black that she'd worn last winter for the snowball fight. It would come in handy, too, she thought, as there was a strong wind blowing outside. Stepping out of the dormitory and ignoring the amazed stares of the scarlet-clad Gryffindors, she met Severus down in the entrance hall, quite as planned.
"Lily! Well, there's no doubt who you're rooting for. You're honestly willing to go through with this?"
"I'm wearing a cloak. So what?"
"So…you're going against your House."
"If that's the way that works, I'd be going against them all the time unless I changed my eye color. I'm wearing the warmest thing I have, and I'm going to need it. Are we going?"
"Sure. Slytherin team's already in the locker room. Come on."
They set off across the grounds. But halfway to the Quidditch stadium, they were pulled up short by an explosion of magenta and blue sparks in front of them.
A voice echoed across the grounds, obviously not too happy.
"Snape, you can go. I need a word with Evans."
Sheila came walking across the lawn, taking her precious time.
"Evans, what did you do that for?"
"Do what? Put out your Howler? I didn't want to get my eardrums blasted out. I thought that was obvious."
"No. You know very well what I mean. It has to do with James and Sikora."
"Oh-getting them together? You have my word that I regret that as much as I regret ever being his friend."
Sheila's eyes narrowed, and Lily fully expected her to sprout a forked tongue and start slithering on the ground. "Do you know how much that hurt me?"
"To be honest, no."
"I need to speak to you. Alone." She eyes Serverus meaningly, and Lily sighed, but nodded.
"Serverus, that was a hint. I'll see you at the Quidditch match." She set off with Sheila towards the Forbidden Forest.
"Well? What did I do this time?"
"You don't know, do you?"
"No. I wish I didn't have to find out, either."
"Well, you're going to. Did you know, before you came into the picture, James and I were totally happy?"
"No."
"Well, now you do. That even continued up to the beginning of second year. Then something else happened."
"Let me guess. Serena?"
"He never showed any interest in her. Never. Even though she tried; I could see that. Then she started picking fights with you, and he immediately rallied to her."
"Oh, good."
"Oh, good what?"
"Finally, someone who doesn't believe that I beat the insides out of her."
"Of course you didn't. You have more sense than that."
"Erm-thank you?"
"Hum. Still, he was still normal around me, and then he begged you to do something. Probably find out what she thought about him."
"For someone who can't come inside our common room, your guesses are pretty darn good."
"I'm a jealous woman. We're usually right. But, anyway, when he got her answer, the first thing he did was come right to me. Three guesses as to what he said."
"You're not wanted any longer, go away and be happy that at one point in time you were favored by the Ultimate Conqueror?"
Sheila was stunned. "You're good. Did you hear him say that?"
"No. I guessed. I know him, and that's the kind of thing he'd say."
"Well, that about sums his speech up. It was really mean, and the last thing he was was gentle."
"I can imagine."
"Evans, stop it! You're making all this much worse!"
"Look-I’m sorry. I didn't know he'd do this to you or to me, come to that, once he'd gotten what he wanted. I really am sorry." She tentatively patted a crying Sheila on the back.
"If it helps, my old math teacher had a favorite saying. Boys are like lava lamps; pretty to look at but not very bright."
That sobered Sheila up a bit. Wiping her eyes, she stood back and glared at Lily.
"Maybe he couldn't help what he did. I don't think he could help it. But you could, Evans. From now on, this is war."
Lily pressed her lips together. "Well then. What did I do that time?"
"I should think you'd have the courtesy not to ask." With which parting shot, she stalked over to the Quidditch stadium, filled with scarlet and green blurs and yells.
"Well, then, that wasn't exactly the best interview, was it?"
Serverus had stepped out from behind a tree.
Lily sighed. "You did give me a turn. No, it didn't go very well. I still would like to know, though, what on earth made her hate me. I did hardly anything."
Serverus shrugged. "I don't know. I don't want to much, either, but I suppose it doesn't matter. You coming to the match?"
Lily shrugged. "I might as well. Come on."
They jogged over to the stadium, where Lily took her place between Serverus and Malfoy, who were seated in one of the Slytherin tents. The Slytherin team was ahead, ninety to sixty; the Ravenclaw sixth year was commentating again; though Professor Zimmermann was watching him this time.
"And there goes Stephen Gregson, flying up the field there…Quaffle in hand…drop it! Drop it, drop-Professor, I wasn't serious!-but there goes Miranda Shaw of Gryffindor, tailing him closely-knock him off his broom, Miranda-oh, good, and there's the Quaffle in her hands, flying towards Gryffindor goal posts-goes to Potter-Thomas-Potter-back to Shaw-and GRYFFINDOR SCORES!-well done indeed!-very nice-oh, and Clive Allen of Slytherin has the Quaffle, flying-oh, dodges Thomas, loops around Miranda, does another loopy thing-hey, Allen, you want to do ballet, the Quidditch field is the WRONG place for that-Professor, it was a joke-harmless little joke-jokes never did anyone any harm, I mean, come on, it wasn't that bad of a-"
"Cooper!"
"Oh, right, right, sorry. Anyway, Allen blasting up the field there, does a clumsy loop around Potter, who's obviously too much for him-so he resorts to hitting himself in the eyes with James' elbow-hey no fair! Slytherin penalty. All right, Slytherin Chaser Frank Crichlow heading up the field there, lousy flyer, anyway, aimes, throws-and-Nigel, come on! All right, one ten to Slytherin…Potter has the Quaffle, flying up the field there-does a nice loop around Alton there, and Potter-oh, damn-that was darn, Professor, that was darn! Anyway. Slytherin Keeper Cathryn Clarik pulls off a very good save there, even if I do say so myself, and Potter in possession of the Quaffle again-whoa, wait! That did look very much like the Snitch to me, and it does to Hatcher and MacGregor, hurtling towards that small golden…"
Lily, watching the two Seekers fly towards the Snitch, suddenly felt herself go limp. Her mind was wiped as if with a sponge, and only dimly could she hear herself shouting something and raising her wand, which she'd forgotten that she had.
The whole stadium had gone quiet as James' broom fell out from underneath him, and as he fell downwards, towards the two Seekers. They hadn't noticed him falling, and he crashed into Hatcher's broom, making him veer off course. Anya, free of a pursuer, caught the Snitch quickly, rising up into the stadium to cheering; halfhearted cheering.
Hatcher and James were on the ground, James unconscious. The whole of Gryffindor Tower and half of the rest of the school swarmed down towards the field, and the Slytherin students were looking up at the tent with curiosity, anger, amusement, and puzzlement in their eyes. Lily came back to consciousness, but only for a little while, then she drooped and fell backwards, and everything went black.
She woke up moments later, with Serverus and Lucius slapping her face. Lily stood up and shrank away, frightened.
"What-what happened?"
Lucius' eyes narrowed a bit, mostly from puzzlement. "I have no idea. You were sitting there, and then, out of nowhere, you raised your wand, shouted something, and Potter fell off of his broom."
Lily's eyes opened wide. "I-I did? But-I don't remember doing anything of the sort! You're lying, aren't you?" She was almost pleading.
Serverus shook his head. "He's not. You honestly don't remember anything?"
"No. Nothing. Except that I couldn't feel anything, and I was sort of dreaming. Like nothing could ever hurt me, and like I was a sort of ghost. Or like I was dreaming. Nothing else."
Her legs, which had supported her this far, gave way and she sank down. Serverus immediately ran towards her.
"Lily! Are you all right?"
"No. I feel deathly tired."
"Besides that, are you all right?"
"Sure. Sure, fine. Help me up, please. I don't want to face the school, even if I didn't do this."
Lucius nodded. "Smart girl. Let's go." They were sneaking out of the tent, and as they rounded the lake, Lucius pulled at Serverus' sleeve. Lily didn't hear; she was unconscious again.
"Do you know what caused this? I believe her when she said she didn't do it."
"So do I. It was a combination of things, but one of them I can name."
"What-which one?"
"Unforgivable. The Imperious Curse."
They were dragging her to the hospital wing; the best place they could think of, as Lily was continually fainting and growing white, when they ran into Professor McGonagall.
"Ah. Mr. Snape and Mr. Malfoy. Professor Dumbledore wishes to see Miss Evans. Please escort her there."
Serverus pulled Lily back up. "Professor, we have to get her to the hospital wing! Look at her!"
Professor McGonagall shook her head. "I am under instructions to take her to the Headmaster immediately." She swooshed down the hallway, leaving Serverus and Lucius no choice but to follow her.
They stopped in front of the statue of quite a disturbingly ugly goblin. Professor McGonagall cleared her throat.
"Fudge Fly." The statue sprang to life and jumped aside, revealing a doorway. They went inside, stepping onto a winding stair that lifted them to the top of the tower.
Serverus helped Lily into a chair, then, under Professor McGonagall's supervision, he was shooed out, leaving Lily alone with the headmaster.
He pointed his wand at her. "Ennervate!" Lily slowly raised her head, glancing about her surroundings, her glance finally landing on Professor Dumbledore.
"I have been informed that you have tried to throw a Quidditch player from his broom. Have you any idea where such an accusation came from?"
The whole darned school. "No, sir."
"Is there any truth in this accusation?"
"That depends, sir."
"Depends on what? Is this a confession?"
"It depends on the point of view of the person perceiving the happenings."
"From your point of view, what occurred?"
I had no point of view. I remember nothing. "I am not entirely sure, sir."
"I was also informed that you may have used one of the Unforgivable Curses. What do you have to say to that accusation?"
What the he-who the heck came up with something like that? "Nothing, sir."
"You do realize that expulsion is the punishment for the use of one of the Unforgivable Curses, do you not?"
Someone had way too much time on their hands if they're able to think up all of this stuff. "I am entirely aware of that, sir."
"So you are refusing to tell me anything at all?"
Lily wanted dearly to laugh; a mad impulse coming over her, but she restrained herself. "That would be my assumption, sir."
He nodded slowly. "I cannot convict you of such a charge without evidence, and at this point I have none. Although,"-here his eyes twinkled a bit-"let me assure you that, even though I am not supposed to be prejudiced, that I believe I know you too well to think of you doing something like this. Miss Evans, please answer me honestly. Are you enjoying your schooling here?"
Schooling, yeah, environment-heck no. "I am learning much, sir."
"Please give me a real answer, Miss Evans. You are not very much attached to your schoolmates?"
The amount you know about my life here is frightening. "I have several very good friends, sir."
He sighed. "Miss Evans, please go to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey is in there." He waved her out, and she left the room, falling into another faint as soon as she closed the door.
It was lucky that Serverus and Lucius were outside the door waiting for her, because they were the ones that got her to the hospital wing, since Professor McGonagall was gone.
For the next few days, Lily remained there, hovering between sleep and faint, not eating, not drinking anything but the potions Madam Pomfrey had to force-feed her with. Every time she fell into sleep or a faint, she saw great, looming, scarlet snake-shaped eyes in front of her, advancing, advancing. She'd always wake up in a cold sweat, only to find the other people in the hospital wing awake and cursing, for she had been screaming in her sleep.
It was only on the fourth day of her confinement that Madam Pomfrey revealed to her that she had an extremely rare reaction to the Imperious Curse. She either would stay in her present state for about a week or so or it would never affect her again, which, the nurse drearily added, was hopefully never to be seen.
