No. It isn’t true. The papers are lying. It can’t be true. I have to find out.
“Headmaster!”
Dumbledore appears before his fireplace. The usual twinkle is missing. “Ah. Remus. I thought I’d hear from you.”
“It’s not- Is it- Did he-?”
Dumbledore’s mouth is the closest thing to a frown I’ve seen him have. “You’ve seen the Prophet, then?”
“Yes.” I gather my wits to form a coherent sentence. “Is it true?”
Dumbledore is silent for a moment. I hold out hope that he will deny the papers accusations. “I’m afraid it is.”
My hopes are dashed. I can’t answer. My mind is trying to get around the fact that he could do this.
“It can’t be true,” I say, with much conviction.
Dumbledore shakes his head. “I could hardly believe it myself, Remus.” He pauses. “But he was their secret keeper, and look what he did to Lily and James. Perhaps this should not have been such a surprise.”
“But he- they- Peter- But I…” But I love him.
“I understand your disbelief. But you must understand that he has done it, and he is in Azkaban for it.”
My attention snaps back to Dumbledore wholly. “But his trial-”
“Mr. Crouch has decided no trial is necessary. He has gone straight to prison. They took him this morning.”
For me, this conversation is over. I can’t speak around the lump in my throat.
“This must be quite a shock for you, Remus. You probably want to be alone right now.”
I nod, the effect of which might be lost, due to the fact that Dumbledore can probably only see my head. Not for the first time, I wonder if Dumbledore knows my feelings. My deepest, darkest secret. Deeper than the wolf.
“Goodbye, then, Remus. Take care,” Dumbledore says.
“Goodbye,” I choke out.
As I pull my head from the fire, my head spins. Not from the Floo, but from confusion. My head says to believe the papers and Dumbledore, but my heart says there’s something missing. He can’t be guilty. He can’t have done it.
The man I love isn’t capable of it. He is loyal, not a betrayer. His Animagus form is a dog for a reason. He would never blow up a street.
But then again, James, Lily and Peter are dead.
But I love him.
But he doesn’t love you, does he?
I don’t know. I thought he might. Lily thought he might.
But he never did anything to prove it.
He didn’t. Not anything that couldn’t be taken as a very good friend sort of action. But he still could kill people like that.
What about the time with Snape?
Once again, that childish prank is dragged from the box in my mind labelled Forget All This.. And yet, I still cannot be fully convinced of his guilt. Sirius could never kill anyone.
Could he?