Amara was exhausted. They had awoken early so that they could clean things up from the storms the previous day, and they had had to make sure that all the items that had been left in their charge were still good. After securing all of those items, she and Panec had made sure that the tent and other items were all packed tightly and tied with thongs. Now she and Panec were finally able to sit and rest from their morning of work, and she was sad to see that they were just barely into the morning hours. She wasn’t sure how long the others would take before they got there, but she knew that it had taken them a good half of a day to get to the hunting site themselves, so they could not expect the others there for a few more hours, if she was estimating the morning correctly.

Panec flopped down on his stomach on the ground beside Amara and grinned at his beautiful woman. “What do you want to do now, my love?” he asked.

She laughed. “I want to rest!!!”

He grinned in response. He couldn’t believe how happy he was, and he was even happier with himself knowing that he had managed to control himself the night before. He loved her so much, and he wanted her to know how much he loved her, but the last thing he wanted to do was ruin it. Although her customs were obviously different, his own customs forbade him to do what he had so longed to do with her. “You said you’ve hunted before?” he asked.

“Yes, small animals, rabbits, like you say last night. I hunt before with brother,” she replied, and then her face fell with the memory of her brother.

Panec saw the transformation of her face and he reached out and took her hand. “My beautiful Amara, I’m so sorry about…everything. I wish there were something I could do for you.”

She smiled tenderly at him. “Panec, it okay. You do something always…you are here, and you love me. I not ask for any more.”

Her words were not clear, but her meaning was. He leaned up and kissed her gently on the cheek. “Amara, would you like for me to show you my spear-thrower?”

She smiled, “Yes, Panec, I would like.” She was eager to learn how to hunt, grotesque though it may have been to her, this was the life that they lived. She stood up with him and was anxious to begin training.

After what seemed to her to be only a couple of hours of practice, she had managed to figure out how to wield a spear in the spear-thrower, and was even able to come relatively close to a target. She nowhere near matched Panec’s throws, but she knew that with time she would have it figured out. She had just hurled her best throw when she heard voices.

“Hey, you’re pretty good with that, Amara! Next time we’ll let you do the hunting!” Radec yelled out to her.

Amara blushed with delight at the praise. “Thank you, Radec!” she cried. She would have liked to practice more, but she knew that the rest of the food and the skins needed to be packed up and taken back to their temporary home, so she handed the spear and the spear-thrower to Panec for him to put away.

Danug winked at her. “I see you’ve been working on your Mamutoi!”

Amara was elated at his phraseology. She didn’t really consider it “her” language, but she was happier than words could express that Danug considered it so. She beamed with joy and returned his smile as she hefted a bundle of skins over her head.

It took only minutes for them to load the horses and their packs with the few items that they had left, and before the sun was at its zenith, they started on their way back to the cave. They knew that this trip would be the fastest yet; they had little to carry, the path was already picked out and marked, and they knew exactly where they were going.

“Did you guys see that big thing come out of the sky last night?” Panec asked eagerly. “I have never seen anything like it before!! What did you call it, Amara?”

“’Tornado,’” she responded.

Danug was curious. “No, we didn’t. What was it?”

“It was a cloud that came right out of the sky and literally touched the ground, like a long, black finger. It changed color as it went over different aspects of the landscape, and it yanked trees right up out of the ground!” Panec’s eyes were sparkling with the excitement of the memory.

Radec cocked his head. “Callie, haven’t we heard of things like that before? I don’t think I’ve ever heard it called by that name, and no one I know of has ever seen one…people have just talked about them. I didn’t think they existed. ‘Tornadoes,’ you call them, eh?”

Amara nodded. “Yes, I see some before in America. They can be very dangerous, but they are very…what is the word…um, fascinating, yes, that is it!” She was happy that she had made two complete, entirely understandable sentences.

“Do you think it’s a sign, Danug? It could bring bad luck…the little we have heard about them has not been good.” Callie’s voice quivered slightly with her worry.

“I’m not sure, Callie. Amara, what do they mean to Americans?” Danug asked.

Amara frowned in thought. They were simply a weather phenomenon; they didn’t mean anything. But how could she explain that to her new family? “No, not bad luck. Tornadoes just happen. Mean only strange weather, not mean bad luck. I would not worry about tornado is sign,” she offered.

Callie visibly relaxed. If Amara had experienced them, and she didn’t think it was bad luck, then Callie saw no need to fret over it. Especially if Danug didn’t seem bothered by it. She had learned to trust Danug’s little ‘inklings’ and not question them.

They continued on in silence, uninterrupted in their personal thoughts. They traveled fast, and thus they had little time or breath for conversation. Callie glanced at Amara often, hesitant about the pace and Amara’s condition, but she seemed to be handling it well.

Panec also glanced at his prospective mate often, but he was not concerned about her health. She seemed to be a happy, vibrant young woman, and when he looked at her his heart melted. His mind raced with thoughts of their future together. He wanted nothing more out of life than to join with her, and for her to bear children, perhaps of his spirit. He was so glad that he had been conscious enough of his actions the night before to stop himself before it was too late. They had already broken a taboo by being alone together, but he didn’t feel bad about that, because it was not her custom. He wondered why she was so late in having her First Rites. He couldn’t believe that she had been a woman for years, and yet she had not shared Pleasures yet. Then he recalled the panic he had seen in her eyes when she had asked him if he was to be the one to do her First Rites. Panic, and almost fear. The only other men around were Danug and Radec. Did she feel that fear because Radec was like an uncle, or mate of her mother to her, and Danug was like a brother? Perhaps, he thought, but it would be unlikely that either of them would want to do First Rites with her anyway; they both felt the same way about their respective relationships with the young woman. Panec was really the only one who could do it, and yet the look in her eyes…there was just something more. In an instant, he wondered if it was possible that she was worried about sharing Pleasures with anyone else but him. No, that can’t be it, he thought. She would probably want to share Pleasures with several other men, as he was positive several other men would want to share them with her. It bothered him; he knew the customs of their society and that there was nothing wrong with sharing the Mother’s gift with others. He shook his head, and decided that he needed to talk with her about these things.

“Amara,” he said quietly. She looked up at him. “Can we talk?”

“Yes, Panec,” she replied, curious. Callie glanced back and smiled at the two young lovers as they fell to the back of the group together. Out of respect, Danug moved up to take the place that Panec had had.

“What need talk, Panec?”

He cleared his throat. “Amara, yesterday, when you and I were…um, well, you know,” he looked at her sheepishly and she smiled. He cleared his throat again and continued, softly. “You asked me if I am going to be the one to do your First Rites. Why did you ask?”

Amara furrowed her brow. “Panec, I want you to do First Rites, no one else.”

“Why?”

His question caught her off guard, and she wondered if perhaps he didn’t want to do them. “Why you ask?”

He looked her up and down and then took a deep breath. “Amara, I want you to know that you don’t have to choose me. You can choose whoever you want to do your First Rites. And then after, well, Amara, my love, you know you are free to share Pleasures with anyone you like, right?” He was afraid of her reply; part of him wanted to keep her to himself, but he knew that she could choose to share the gift with anyone.

Amara’s eyes opened wide. “You mean, a woman may share Pleasures, like First Rites, with any man?” Panec nodded at her. “Even if she joined to man?” Another nod. “We join, then if I wanted, I could share Pleasures with anyone? And no one mind? All women do it?” He nodded again. “Men too? You and I share Pleasure with anyone else? I Pleasure with another man, not just you??”

He cringed when he heard her say that. “Yes, Amara,” he whispered, looking down at his feet. He didn’t want to look up at her; part of him was afraid to see a smile of happiness on her face to know that he wouldn’t have a problem with her being with someone else.

Instead, however, she was frowning and shaking her head furiously. “No, Panec.”

He looked up quickly. “No what?” he inquired, afraid to be hopeful.

She looked at him sternly. “Panec, your custom, your people, I not mind if you share Pleasure with other woman. But I not share Pleasure with another man but you!” she said with finality.

Panec’s heart beat faster. Did she really say what he thought she said? “Amara,” he choked, “do you mean that you’ll only share the Mother’s gift with me?”

Amara stopped walking and took his face in her hands. She looked straight into his eyes. “I will not ever share Pleasure with another man. Only you.”

He had to struggle to keep the tears that were welling up in his eyes from falling out.

“You share Pleasure, with other woman, I not mind,” she said, although she knew it was a lie.

Panec knew that this last statement of hers had not been as commanding as her first, and then he realized that she said it with less confidence. Of course! She had to feel the same way he did!

He dropped the bundle that he was carrying in his arms and reached for her instead, clasping her to him. “No, my beautiful, wonderful woman. I will not share Pleasures with any woman but you.”

The exhilaration she felt was evident in her face. Relief flooded over them both, though she had not realized that she had been concerned.

“Panec, my people, some Americans…well, my mother and fa…my mother and her mate teach me only Pleasure with mate. Pleasure with other than mate is ‘infidelity,’ and is bad.”

He hadn’t understood the word that she used, but he did understand what it meant and he hugged her tighter. “Well, then, I guess we’ll just have to share Pleasures only with each other,” he said, and smiled slyly at her.

She grinned in response and leaned up to kiss him. She looked into his eyes deeply. “I love you, Panec.”

“I love you too, Amara.” He hugged her so tightly she couldn’t breathe.

“Hey, you two! Come on! You’re going to be left behind if you don’t catch up!” Radec called out.

Amara and Panec smiled at each other. Panec reached down to grab the bundle he had been carrying, and they both jogged to catch up with the small party.

Within another hour, they had returned to the cave. Latie and Healie were ecstatic with their return, and they all flurried about to organize the skins, hides, and furs. The men took the meat outside and built a huge fire so that they could smoke it all, and the women pulled out their instruments and materials to prep the hides for tanning and such. Amara was fascinated with their many implementations and she looked on in interest at what Healie and Callie were doing.

Callie first took a skin and meticulously scraped all the membranes and fur off of it, while Healie took another skin, leaving the fur in place but removing the membranes and bits of blood vessels that were stuck on it, and stretched it between four pegs hammered into the ground. Amara’s stomach turned when she saw Healie reach in a basket and remove a portion of the brain of that particular bison and start kneading it into the furless side of the skin. Callie did the same, but rather she worked the brain into both sides. Amara could do nothing but watch in enthrallment while the women worked the hides. After a while, after her stomach adjusted to the odd smells, she sat down to watch more closely. The smells of the meat outside smoking made her hungry, but the sight of the women working with the hides kept her hunger in check.

“Would you like to try, Amara?” Healie inquired.

She shook her head. “No, not try yet, but I watch, is very interesting!”

Callie nodded. “It’s just as well. We’ll get some smaller game later for her to work on.”

Healie agreed and Amara shrugged. She would just as soon let the other women take care of it, but she knew that it was her responsibility to do it.

As Callie worked, she decided that now would be as good a time as ever to discuss the upcoming events. “Amara, what do you know about First Rites?”

Amara’s heart skipped a beat as she thought about the evening before that she and Panec had spent together. “I know it is ceremony that opens woman. Man opens woman so she can be ready to be blessed, and older woman watches over, make sure man not hurt woman.” She thought the ideas were bogus, but they were their ideas, and she had to comply.

Callie nodded. “Yes, that’s pretty much it, but let me tell you in more detail so that you will know what to expect.” Amara nodded her agreement. Callie looked down at the hide as she started stretching it out with her hands. “It is indeed a ceremony, and in these circumstances, I’m afraid it will have to be away from the cave. Only the man that opens you and the Watcher Woman are allowed in the vicinity at the time.” Amara nodded in relief, knowing that she would rather not participate in these First Rites with everyone watching. “You can choose whoever you would like to perform the First Rites, and it will be either Healie or myself who will watch.” She stopped and thought. “Probably Healie, because she’s been a Watcher Woman several times, and I have never been one.” Healie and Amara both nodded. “The man is responsible for opening you. Now, Amara, do you know what he does when he opens you?”

“Yes,” Amara nodded.

“Are you sure?” Callie didn’t want the young woman to be surprised at anything when the time came.

Amara blushed. “Yes. Man kiss woman, and they share Pleasure. Must be woman’s first Pleasure.”

Callie nodded in relief. “Yes, that’s right. I’m sorry I asked, but I didn’t want it to be a surprise for you.” Amara smiled in understanding. “Now, he’s not supposed to cause you pain, although many times it does hurt the first time. But Amara, I promise you, even if it does hurt, it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world, right up there with giving birth. It’s a beautiful experience, as Pleasures always are, but First Rites is extra special.”

Amara breathed in deep her contentment. “Yes, very special,” she whispered. She knew what it was all about. Then suddenly she remembered the talk she and Panec had earlier. “I want Panec do First Rites,” she stated.

Healie nodded. “Yes, Amara, I understand that. Your mate, or future mate, is not usually supposed to do it, but Danug has already said that he feels like a brother to you, and Radec said that he feels like you are the daughter of his hearth. It would not be good for them to do your First Rites if they feel that way, so we have no other choice. Panec will do them.”

Amara sighed in relief, but she needed them to understand her feelings. “No one but Panec, ever, I never share Pleasure with anyone else.”

Healie was shocked at the firmness of her decision. “Amara…are you sure? I mean, it’s completely up to you, and Panec, of course, but you are both free to share the Mother’s gift with anyone you wish, except a sibling or someone like that.”

Amara nodded. “Yes, only Panec. Mother, mate of mother, we call ‘father,’ always say ‘no Pleasure with anyone but mate,’ so I obey their teach.”

Healie and Callie both nodded. “That’s perfectly fine, Amara, and I promise you, no one would ever want you to go against that decision,” Callie said.

Amara smiled and relaxed. At least that was out of the way.

“Um, ladies?” Radec said. They all looked up at him. “I didn’t want to interrupt you, but I think we men are through with our work for the night.”

Callie smiled at him. “We are almost through. We’ll only be a little bit longer.” She gave Healie a slight grin. “But since you are already finished, would you men like to prepare dinner?”

Radec’s mouth dropped open. “Sneaky!” He laughed loudly. “Yes, my woman, if you would like, we shall do as you please.” He leaned down and kissed his mate, nuzzling her neck.

Callie’s eyes twinkled with feeling. “Yes, please do, my mate!” She laughed at him, but then her mood switched to seriousness. “When do we want to do Amara’s First Rites?”

Radec shrugged. “Tonight? Tomorrow night? It doesn’t matter to me,” he replied.

“Well, then, why don’t we do this. Healie, Latie and I will prepare her after we finish. Then we will have our meal, our ‘feast,’ and afterwards Healie will supervise her First Rites.”

Amara gaped and stiffened with shock. Tonight??

“That is perfectly fine with me,” Radec agreed. “You don’t think that Panec is too tired?” he teased.

Healie laughed. “No, Radec, somehow I don’t think so!”

“Well, then, it’s settled, we shall celebrate it tonight.” He turned to Amara, who was standing fixed. “Is that okay with you?” he asked.

“Y-ye-yes,” she stammered. This quickly? Was she ready?

“What’s going on?” Panec asked as he walked in, seeing Amara standing stiff and still.

“Amara is going to have her First Rites tonight,” Radec offered.

Panec’s face went white. If they had made the decision without him, then that must mean that he was not doing it, he thought. That would explain Amara’s stiffness. He stammered with the shock of that realization…he couldn’t believe it! They were going to have someone else do it! Someone else was going to touch his beautiful woman! This couldn’t be, he thought. She must have mentioned something about their indiscretion last night, and now the others must not feel that he was good enough for her. He fought to keep tears back. His anger started welling up; they had promised each other that they would not share Pleasures with anyone else! He looked at Amara and she stared blankly at him. He didn’t realize that it was because she herself was in shock, but for a completely different reason. The tears overflowed and he reached out to her. “No!” he cried. “No!” His throat choked.

Radec looked at Panec worriedly. “Panec, why not?”

Amara was slowly coming out of her shock when she felt Panec grab her. “Panec…?” she asked.

He was going into a panic, the situation seeming to multiply in his mind. “No,” Panec choked out. “Amara, she and I, we promised each other…” he stammered again, not knowing where to go from there, clutching her to his chest.

She reached up and put her arms around him. “Panec, what wrong?” She was confused. Had something happened that she didn’t understand?

“I can’t do it, Amara,” Panec cried. Tears were flowing down his cheeks.

Amara’s face drained. He didn’t want to do it anymore? She felt her own tears threaten. He didn’t want her? What had she done? She stepped back. “Panec?”

He reached out and took her hands. “Amara, I want you to have your First Rites, but I can’t, I just can’t…” he stopped when he saw her face. What was he doing? He couldn’t make her not have them!

Amara’s confusion grew. A single tear fell down her cheek. “Panec, you not want do First Rites with me?” The pitch of her voice was edging up with fear. “What I do wrong?” She looked over at the others and her own tears fell out. She pulled herself away from him. “Healie, what I do wrong?? Why Panec not want me?” Another tear fell out.

The confusion had happened so fast, the others hadn’t had time to comprehend. Panec was so ashamed of his behavior that he had blocked her voice out; it was too painful. But unwillingly, he heard her last phrase. “Not want you?” he asked.

Amara looked at him, but she blocked her feelings. She was so tired of being hurt; she had lost her family and friends, and just when she found someone she loved, she had done something wrong, and now he didn’t want her.

“Not want you?” Panec repeated. He shook his head. “No, Amara, no,” he started, and then her tears overflowed. Realization hit him, and his shame was replaced with a feeling of complete stupidity. “Amara,” he began again and reached for her. She backed away from him, and he put his arms down. Controlling his tears at her rejection, he started again. “Amara, no, I do want you, I want you more than anything.”

Hope glimmered and she looked at him. Through her tears and sniffles, she asked, “Panec, if you want me, why you not want do First Rites with me? What I do wrong?”

Panec sighed with relief. “No, Amara, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry, my love, I’m so sorry, I misunderstood.”

She blinked some tears away. “You misunderstand?”

He nodded shamefully. “Yes, Amara, I’m sorry. When I came in here and Radec said you were going to have First Rites tonight and they hadn't mentioned it to me earlier, I thought he meant that someone else was going to do them.”

Her tears stopped as she comprehended his words. She looked over at Healie quickly. “You say Panec do them…you still say?”

Healie nodded, dumfounded at the situation. Why ever in the world had Panec interpreted Radec’s statement that way?

Amara looked at Panec and saw the love and shame in his eyes, shame for causing the confusion. Her tears returned and she reached for him. Panec’s chest tightened and he took her in his arms. “I’m sorry, Amara, I didn’t mean to cause such a confusion.”

Suddenly she snapped. She was already crying, and when he said the word ‘confusion’ it somehow made her think about everything that had happened in the last week or so. Her whole body started shaking and she heaved with sobs, unable to stop them. She clutched Panec’s tunic and buried her face in his chest.

Her outburst surprised them all, except Danug. He came over and patted Amara’s back. He then looked at Panec. “Amara, it’s okay.” He stroked her hair, then motioned for Panec to sit down with her.

She continued to cry, but the sound of Danug’s voice was soothing. She turned her head on Panec’s chest and tried to calm down, keeping her eyes shut.

Callie leaned down and wiped a tear away from Amara’s cheek. She shushed her gently and followed Danug’s lead by stroking her hair. “We understand, honey. It’s been a long, trying week for you.”

Amara calmed somewhat and started choking down her sobs. She relaxed in Panec’s arms, breathing in his scent, and took several deep breaths. “I am sorry, I just, I just felt confused, I afraid Panec not want do First Rites, not want Pleasure with me, and then I afraid, lose family and friends…” she stammered. She took a few more deep breaths. “I sorry, I am okay.”

Danug shook his head. “Amara, don’t be sorry. Believe me, although we don’t know what you’re going through, we understand, and we’re here for you. We all love you,” he said softly.

She smiled through her tears and nodded. Callie handed her the soft piece of leather she had used to wipe Amara’s face, and for an instant Amara wished for the softness of a tissue.

“We…we don’t have to do First Rites tonight, Amara,” Radec offered gently.

Amara wiped her nose and sat up. “No, no, I want do First Rites,” she said, although she wasn’t entirely sure. She looked at Panec. His expression, however, full of love gave her confidence in her decision. She smiled at him. He reached out and wiped the tears away from underneath her eyes and she leaned into his hand, smiling lovingly at him. “Yes, I want do First Rites. Do First Rites, with Panec, my Panec, tonight.”

Healie and Callie led Amara to the small stream that flowed by the cave. She knew she was about to get a bath, and she was grateful. She could smell the dirt and sweat all over her body and clothing…in fact she hadn’t washed really well since she left home. She hadn’t shaved, either; an odd feeling for her, but she noticed the other women didn’t shave, of course. She cringed at the thought, but soon her excitement took over.

She shivered in the breeze. She took off her dirty jeans and was standing in her underwear watching Callie as she pounded on a root with a stone. Amara had been fascinated with the plant that they used, but as she thought about they ceremony they were about to start, she realized that perhaps something a little more cleansing would be nice. She was glad she had brought her backpack with her, and after only a few moments of rummaging, she found her small sample of soap she'd gotten from a mall back home. It smelled quite nice, but it was very small, so she had decided to save it for something special. She smiled to herself, knowing that this was indeed what she had been saving it for.

She unwrapped the paper around the soap and held it down for Callie to smell. "Wow!" Callie exclaimed. “Amara, that smells lovely!!! What is it??"

"'Soap,'" Amara replied. "It is for washing."

Callie nodded and shrugged. "Okay, well then Healie and I will use the soaproot. I was worried that there wouldn't be enough here for three people, and I really didn't want to have to go looking for something."

Amara smiled and removed the rest of her clothing. She had gotten used to the openness of this society, and it no longer bothered her for anyone else to see her naked. The water was cold, but refreshing and it was so nice to be able to take a semi-bath! She would have preferred hot water, but she knew that that would be next to impossible. She had figured out that a bath at all was considered a luxury. She hadn’t noticed her own dirtiness as much, because everyone around her was just as dirty, but she was glad to get clean. At least once more for a few weeks. As the other women submerged themselves in the water she was amazed by how hardened they were to the cold of the glacial stream.

Healie turned to Amara and said, “Now we are going to present you to the Great Mother of All life, Mut. Mut, we honor You today, with the making of a new woman. As You bring forth life, she will be made ready in your image to bring forth life. Amara is an honorable woman,” she looked pointedly to Amara, as if she knew about the other night. Amara tried to conceal a gasp. “She has never dishonored You, or abused your gifts. We ask of you Mut, that you take this woman among your blessed, that you bless her with life and happiness, and the desire and ability to honor You always.” She looked to Amara. She signaled for her to come closer. Amara complied, awed by the ceremony, how much importance they put on it, and the respect and worship they held for the Mother, Mut. Healie then poured a cold bowl of water over her head and she shivered.

“Now you may wash yourself Amara, take care around the parts of you that make you woman. You are one of the Mother’s blessed, and you should always take care of yourself as such,” Callie said smiling to a slightly nervous Amara.

She took a deep breath and dunked herself under the water. She came up sputtering from the cold, but then proceeded to wash. She took care to wash her hair and body thoroughly, to remove all the dirt and grime of travelling, and all traces of blood from the hunt. Her anxiousness was growing into nervousness about the "ceremony" she was about to participate in, but she had a feeling that everything was right. After she had washed herself, she sat down on a rock and meticulously brushed her hair out. It did not take it long to dry, and soon her hair was shiny and smooth again. Healie and Callie were both impressed, and in addition they both remarked on how wonderful she smelled. Amara beamed with delight at the praise, but the butterflies in her stomach increased with every passing moment.

Healie held out to her a dress, it was of a creamy white leather with black beads sewn around in a spiral around her abdomen that spiraled out and enclosed her breasts and womb. She understood the significance immediately. She hadn’t known that they were going to give her a dress to wear. She thought maybe she would be brought naked. But she was relieved when she put on the dress. “Where you get dress? Is too beautiful,” she said, awed and moved by the special way she was treated for this ceremony. She hadn’t realized the full meaning and importance of it to them. In a way she was glad she had never been with a man before. It made the ceremony all the more special. And it was obviously very important to them. She would have hated to offend them, not being “blessed” by the Mother.

“The dress belongs to Latie, she used it for her First Rites as well, she brought it along, and offered that you use it tonight. It seems appropriate, and you look beautiful dear,” Callie said warmly, she hugged her then held out to her something else. It was a crown woven of the smallest white flowers. Amara bowed her head in thanks, she felt almost like crying. These people were so kind, so amazing. All the sudden she didn’t feel so sad about leaving home. She knew her parents loved her, but she had never been treated this way. She brushed away a tear from her cheek as Callie placed the crown on her head.

"Well, dear, are you ready?" Callie asked, her eyes sparkling.

Amara nodded shyly and inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Yes Callie, I am ready." She smiled at the woman and returned the embrace that Callie offered.

“Wait, Amara, do you still have the Muta? I saw Panec had given you one,” Healie said suddenly. It was too important to forget.

“Oh yes, I have,” she said as she reached into her bag once more. The small ivory figure fit into her hand and she smiled. Panec had given it to her as a gift when they had first met. She wondered if he had known.

“Amara, you should bring that with you. I will be watching over you, but the Mother too should be present. The Muta is a very sacred object, Amara. It represents the Mother. I know your customs are different. But the Muta should be kept with you during the ceremony,” Healie said with all seriousness. She gave her a small smile and Amara nodded understanding. She turned to Callie.

"Have a wonderful evening," Callie said, and then turned around and headed back to the cave. Healie guided Amara to the small tent that they had set up. She too embraced the young woman, and smiled at the sound of Amara's rapid heartbeat. Slowly, Healie pushed the curtain inside.

Panec had washed and been there long enough to start a small fire near one side of the tent. His heart raced when he heard voices and footsteps, but then in an instant it stopped beating when he saw the vision in front of him. Amara was wearing the most beautiful dress...obviously one of Latie's dresses, but she looked gorgeous in it. Her dark hair was smooth and shiny, falling about her shoulders elegantly and accented by the creamy white of the leather. A wreath of small flowers encircled her head in a crown, and the scent that emanated from her made him melt. Mother, was she astonishing! Healie led Amara to sit beside Panec, and then took her own place in one of the corners. She knew that Amara was shy, but she also knew that Panec would be able to rid her of that shyness.

Panec reached out and touched her luxurious hair, marveling in the silky softness of it. He brought a wavy lock to his face and smelled it deeply. "Amara, my beautiful woman, you smell amazing!"

She blushed at the compliment and then glanced at Healie, who smiled and nodded to her. "Panec," Amara began, then cleared her throat. "Panec, I would like give you something."

Panec's eyes opened wide in surprise. She wanted to give him something? This was different! Amara pulled the ring off her finger that she had been wearing. Panec was surprised that he had not noticed it before, but then assumed that she must not have worn it yet. "Here, Panec, this for you," she said quietly as she handed him the ring. He had never seen anything like it before. It was a circle of hard yellow stone, it looked like, and on top of the circle was another stone, a deep green one, that sparkled in the firelight. The glitter of the stone reminded him of the stars at night, and the color...where had he seen that color. He looked up at her and gasped. The blue-green stone was the same color as her eyes! "Panec, this is called 'ring' and the stone is called an 'emerald'. It my, um, the mother of my mother, and she give to me. Now I give to you." She smiled lovingly at him.

Panec couldn't believe his eyes. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen! It didn't surprise him that it belonged to her...she was an amazing woman and had many mysterious things about her. This 'ring' as she called it seemed to match her perfectly. A tear glistened in his eye as he closed his hand around his second treasure. He would wear it as a reminder of his first treasure; his own Amara. Panec leaned over and gently touched her face with his fingertips. He leaned over to her and kissed her, a long, deep, loving kiss, and she felt her body give way to him. When he leaned away, his pupils were dilated, and she could see the love in his eyes. She almost lost herself in them again when her stomach made the better of her. It flopped in nervousness and Panec could see her cloud over in anxiety. He had seen this look before and knew what she was feeling. He wanted to make this special for her, and himself, and he just hoped that he could control himself. He had been chosen for First Rites before, but never had he wanted to please more than tonight. This was the woman he would mate. And he loved her. He didn’t want her to hurt, or be scared. He looked at her intently.

Amara avoided his gaze and glanced over at Healie. She smiled at the older woman nervously, and then looked down again. She couldn't do this! She couldn't give herself to this man with someone watching! What was she thinking? Panec saw the confusion spread across her features and he squeezed her hand. She looked up at him tentatively, and he nodded. "Healie," he asked. "Um, Healie, do you suppose..." he stopped. Then he realized that he, too, was nervous.

Healie smiled. She was nervous as well...this young man was like a son to her, and she would have preferred it if Callie had been the one to Watch the ceremony. "Panec, I'll tell you what. You are like a son to me, and I trust you with my life. You know I cannot leave you, but I will step outside and sit down there if you would like some more privacy." Panec smiled gratefully at the woman he saw as his mother, and she took the hint. After a loving glance at the young couple, Healie ducked outside the tent and sat herself down outside to wait. After all, Amara’s customs were not the same, but Mut must be honored properly. She was not shirking her duties as a Watcher, but feeling as a mother to Panec, and even to Amara, she was a little uncomfortable watching.

Amara let out her breath, not realizing she had been holding it. Panec smiled at her and touched her shoulder. "Amara?" She looked up at him. "Amara, would you like to lie down?" She nodded slowly and relaxed somewhat. Panec leaned over her and drank in her beauty. He couldn't believe how lucky he was! He leaned down and kissed her. Her hands reached up around his neck and she ran her fingers through his hair, sending chills throughout his body. She smelled so wonderful, she looked so beautiful...he didn't know how he could wait.

Completely forgetting all about Healie, Amara gave herself into his kisses. She stiffened slightly when he reached down to help her remove the dress, but again she acquiesced. Panec gasped when he saw her body. He couldn't imagine a more beautiful woman and he felt a tightening in his chest. He wanted her more than anything, and yet she seemed like too much of a treasure to touch. Amara closed her eyes, waiting. She jerked slightly when his hand ran across her waist and up the side of her torso. Her eyes opened wide and she cried out when he ran his hand across her chest, a place she had never been touched before. He leaned down to kiss her neck, and then he traced her upper body with tender kisses. Each kiss seared, and she felt a burning sensation deep down inside of her. She couldn't believe how wonderful she felt! For an instant, she finally understood why it was so hard for two people in love to wait until marriage. Panec caressed her body, memorizing every inch. His hand ran down her stomach and across her leg to her thigh, and her body jumped slightly at his touches. She felt the heat rising in her body. Her stomach was full of butterflies, she was nervous, but she couldn’t resist.

He wanted her so badly, and when he looked into her eyes, he could see that she wanted him just as much. He relaxed and reached up to remove his own tunic, followed by his leggings. He pressed his body against hers and she gasped at the feeling. Ever so gently, he reached his hand down to push one of her legs aside. She opened her eyes and looked at him. She smiled and then looked down.

The instant she did so, she regretted that decision. Fear started to creep inside her. Would it hurt? She had worn tampons before, which obviously would have broken her barrier of maidenhood, but this was a little different. Shd hadn’t really had the chance to discuss the particulars of such a situation with her mother. Panec saw her look and understood it. "Amara, it will probably hurt, just a little, but I promise you that it will be beautiful." She hadn't realized that she had stiffened her entire body. She relaxed with his soothing words, but the fear still quaked. She was afraid, but just a little, and she knew that most women went through this at some point in time.

At least, she thought, it is with Panec. It was special. She had never felt this way with anyone else. She was glad her first time was made into the ceremony. When had humans stopped making a big deal of when a woman became a woman, a man a man, and the first time they had sex? She was glad this was how she was to experience it. It was the most special way she could imagine. She would want nothing less, and most of all, relieved, ecstatic that it was Panec who got to share this moment before. She closed her eyes and repeated his name to herself over and over again, trying to concentrate on the bliss she was feeling rather than the small inkling of fear.

Panec, too, was afraid to hurt her, but he knew that she trusted him. He loved her so much. His heart started beating faster and he wrapped his arms around her as he settled himself. His lips met hers at the same time the rest of his body met hers. Her chest was pounding and she felt his kiss. She took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around him, waiting for the pain, and the pleasure. She cried out when those feelings arrived. Never before in her life had she ever felt so complete, so loved. She looked into Panec's eyes and gave herself up to him, beside herself in ecstasy. Panec couldn't believe how wonderful she felt. She was like a dream, a perfect dream, and he never wanted to let her go. He kissed her gently, then more firmly. He was almost sorry that she felt so wonderful, because he could feel the pressure rising and he knew that he would not be able to make her Pleasure last as long as he would have liked.

Amara was completely removed from the world. All she saw was Panec, all she felt was Panec. She couldn't describe it...her heart and mind soared with happiness and she didn't know how she could ever feel any more love. Her last thought was proved completely wrong as she felt him more and more. She shook with desire as their bodies met each other. She could feel the pressure as well. It caught up with them in an instant. For that one eternal moment, Amara thought she had died...nothing on earth could possibly make her feel the way she felt. She grabbed onto him and cried out his name as he cried out her own. In another instant it was over. Her heart was pounding, and she was transported back to the real world when she felt him touch her face and kiss her gently. She had never felt so at peace, and all she wanted to do was to be part of him forever.

"I love you, Amara," Panec said, kissing her nose.

She smiled up at him. He was Panec, her Panec, and she loved him more than anything. "I love you, Panec," she replied and smiled again, contentedly. He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her. He was afraid that he would become too heavy for her, but he didn't have long to think about it. In a matter of minutes, they were asleep in each other's arms, ready to begin their lives together.

Amara opened her eyes just a crack. She was still in a dream world, not believing how wonderful she felt. The only thing she knew was love for Panec. She slowly turned her head to look at the man in whose arms she was lying. His dark hair was tousled, and on his face was the most loving smile she’d ever seen. Before she realized she was doing it, she leaned over and kissed his slightly upturned lips.

Panec’s eyes fluttered open. His heart melted; this was exactly how he’d dreamed of being awoken. Always before at First Rites the man had been shooed away during the night, and now he was glad that that had been the case. Waking up beside this vision was almost more than he could handle, and he had to fight the tears that threatened. She looked like a dream. The sunlight was coming in through the tent just enough to illuminate her glorious features, and as he looked up at her he sighed. He reached up and touched her gorgeous face, relishing in the fact that he could. Her bright smile in response to his tender touch prompted him to pull her body down toward him.

Amara let herself disappear in his embrace. Their lips met and he kissed her with a fervor she hadn’t imagined possible. His hands started to explore her body, and she giggled as he traced her stomach.

“Are you ticklish?” Panec asked her, teasingly.

She grinned at him. “Only because it’s you,” she replied.

He looked at her, wanting to memorize her features. He pulled her to him, feeling his desire grow.

She responded warmly, delighting that she could now do so. His kisses seared on her body and she hungered for him. She was ecstatic…the way she had felt the night before was unlike anything in the world, and she couldn’t wait to feel it again.

The ecstasy she had felt the night before, however, was interrupted quickly. She cried out, softly, with the burning sensation she felt.

Panec stopped immediately. “Amara,” he began, with a look of confusion on his face, “Amara, are you okay?”

“Yes, I think so,” she replied. It hadn’t hurt badly, but it was different from the night before. It had hurt before, but she knew that had been because it was her first time. This…she wasn’t sure what the deal was.

Then it hit him…of course she would be sore! He had never Pleasured a woman so soon after First Rites—usually it wasn’t allowed—and he chided himself for not thinking of her. “Amara, I’m sorry, my love,” he said sheepishly as he rolled off her.

She looked at him, concerned. “It won’t…um, it won’t be like that every time, will it?” she asked tentatively. She wanted to enjoy it, but she hadn’t liked that burning that she had felt.

He shook his head and touched her face gingerly. “No, it won’t.” He winked at her and smiled slyly. “I promise you, you’ll get used to it before long,” he snickered.

Her mouth dropped open as she realized what he had said. The only thing she could do in retort was throw his leggings at him. He reached out and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her enthusiastically.

“My Amara, what a wonderful life we’re in store for!” he exclaimed.

She smiled at him in complete happiness and reached for him again.

After having their fill of kisses and caresses, Panec sat up and stretched. It was going to be a beautiful day, he thought.

Amara smiled as she looked him over. How many of her friends at home would be completely jealous of this, she thought. She was happy. He was good-looking, warm, loving, energetic, humorous…the list went on and on. Her only wish was that her parents and Jacob could meet him.

Panec noticed the shadow spreading over her face. He hated seeing that, because he knew it caused her pain. He put his hand on the back of her neck and massaged it gently. He wanted to know about her, about her family and her life before they had found her, but something deep down told him that he couldn’t understand it. He knew Danug did, and that had caused him intermittent fits of slight jealousy. He was ashamed at himself for feeling that way, and now he seemed to understand it. Amara loved him, but she needed a friend like Danug who could understand her. Panec shook his head; the way of the spirit world was beyond him and he felt it best left to those who could fathom it. He knew that Amara could, and he wondered if she was even more in tune with the spirit world than Danug. She seemed to have so many things…so many things that were so unexplainable.

“Shall we head back?” Amara asked. She wanted to spend time with Panec, but she wanted to get back and drink the special tea that Healie had been making for her.

Panec laid back and stretched, yawning loudly. He studied her, wondering why she seemed so anxious. “Well, if you really want to. I was hoping to be able to spend more time with you.”

Amara grinned. “Me too, but we do have the rest of our lives for that.”

Panec returned her smile. “Well, then, let’s go back. I must admit, I am getting a little hungry.” He stopped and suddenly remembered something that had been nagging him from the previous night. “Amara,” he said, quietly.

“Yes?” she asked.

He was wrought with indecision about asking her, but he knew it had to be done. “Amara, when I have done First Rites before…well, if a woman has not been opened, there is a barrier in her.” Amara nodded; this was common knowledge. Panec looked down. “Amara, I didn’t feel one…” he began.

Amara laughed, and then smiled tenderly. “Panec, you know, women in moon time, wear special things?” He nodded. “Where I from, women wear…well, women wear small tubes inside them, sometimes, rather than special things outside.”

Panec frowned, not understanding at all.

Amara held up her first finger. “It is this big, and is soft, absorbs blood with less mess outside,” she explained. “Tubes break barrier; I wear tubes at home, barrier already broken from tubes, not from man.”

“Oh,” Panec said, relaxing. He still wasn’t quite sure what she was talking about, but a woman’s moon times were her business. Her explanation made sense, but still sounded odd. He decided to let it go, and he smiled at her in acceptance.

Amara returned his smile, then started gathering her things. She and Panec rolled up the furs that they had been sleeping on, and she carefully folded up the dress she had worn the night before. It was so kind of Latie to let her borrow it, and it was more exquisite than anything she had ever owned. She hoped that someday she could be good enough at sewing to make something this beautiful. She wrapped the folded dress in a hide and she was just placing it in her backpack when she felt Panec’s hand on her arm.

“Amara,” he began, then stopped.

She looked up at him. He seemed disturbed about something. She followed the direction his eyes were cast and saw that he was looking apprehensively at her portable CD player. Uh oh, she thought. She hadn’t planned to share it with anyone, and she was sorry that he had seen it.

“Amara, what is that?” he asked, confirming her fears as to what he was referring to. He pointed to the black square-shaped object that was in her bag. A lot of things about her disturbed him in a way, just because she was so different, and the things she had were so different. Part of him was fascinated by it, but another part was slightly scared.

Amara sat debating with herself. Should she show him? She glanced at him quickly and saw a hint of fear in his eyes; fear of the unknown. She sighed, figuring it was time to tell him something. “Panec,” she started. “It is called a ‘CD player,’ and it plays music.”

He furrowed his brow. “Music? Like some of the Mamutoi can play flutes and drums?” he inquired.

She nodded. “Yes, a lot like that.” She decided not to show him a CD, but figured that it would help him understand it if he heard it. “This is music that is stored, like you store meat for the winter.” She reached for her headphones and held them out to him. “Here, let me show you,” she said reaching to place them over his ears.

He backed up, not sure about the situation. “What are these?” he asked.

“They are so you can hear the music. Here, try it,” she said. This time she succeeded in getting the headphones on him. She adjusted the volume so that it was not to loud, and pressed the play button.

Panec’s eyes opened wide as the sound of Bach spread through his head. He couldn’t believe this! It was beautiful! Where in the world did she get things like this, he thought.

His expression delighted her. She was glad that it was a hit, and she could see that he was enjoying it. She smiled in his innocence, and a warm feeling rushed over her. She loved him more than words could describe, and every minute with him was better than the one before. She watched him for a few more moments, then stopped the music.

“What happened?” Panec asked when the wondrous sounds stopped.

“I made the music stop…I can turn it back on if you’d like for me to…” she said.

He shook his head and pulled off the contraption that she had put on his head. It was beautiful indeed, but it was all a little too strange for him to comprehend. “Where did you get this, Amara?”

“I got it in America,” she replied, knowing that that would be the easiest answer that he could understand.

“Does everyone there have things like this?”

She cocked her head. “Well, most people do, but some don’t.” She grinned at the memory of buying the device. Without realizing she was doing it, she started thinking out loud, staring off into the distance. “Jacob and I went to get it after I turned ten. It’s kind of old, actually, and I need to get a new one. He teased me about it, because, he would say, I should spend more time on my school work. Let’s see, when I was ten, I was in the fifth grade, and,” she stopped suddenly and her eyes widened, “and we had just learned about people like you and the Mamutoi, Panec! Oh, it was so exciting learning about mammoths and such, and to think that they had been extinct, gone forever, for so long! It’s hard to believe that I’m twenty-five thousand years in the past, as many cycles as there are stars in the sky, you know--” she stopped again. Her heart stopped beating when she saw how white Panec’s face was. Suddenly she realized what she had just said.

At first Panec had been thrilled at her grasp of the language – she had all of a sudden picked up the art of conversation. She used a couple of words he didn’t understand, obviously some words from her native language, and it was amusing to hear her talk. That is, until she stated her last phrase.

They sat in silence and stared at each other. Panec’s face was as white as a sheet, and she could see the turmoil in his eyes. He looked around at her items nervously, then returned his gaze to her. He saw something in her eyes, but he hadn’t been able to quite place it until then—and he knew that she was telling the truth. But it was impossible! He couldn’t understand it completely, but he understood enough to know, and to tie everything together. This is why she has such strange things, he thought sarcastically.

“Amara,” he began, and she could see tears well up in his eyes.

“Panec,” she said, reaching out to him.

He backed away, shaking his head. “No, Amara,” he stated firmly. She lowered her hands and decided to just sit still. “Amara, you…you can’t be, no, I’ve waited for you for years, and now…” he stopped. “Amara, how? Why?” The confusion was boiling over in his mind. “Amara, I…I need to think.”

Once again, her heart stopped. “What do you mean?” she asked tentatively.

“Amara, I don’t know, this is…this is too much…my head hurts, and I need to be alone for a little while, okay?”

Amara felt her own tears well up. “But Panec--”

“Please, Amara,” he interrupted. He loved her, and he didn’t want to hurt her, but he needed to think about this.

Her anger started replacing her hurt. “Panec, listen to me,” she demanded. He looked up at her. “Do you think I asked for this?” she inquired. “Do you think I woke up at home one morning and decided, gee, I think I want to leave my family and friends now to go someplace I’ve only read about in History books?” she demanded.

He furrowed his brow. “A hi—history book?”

She shook her head. “Never mind what it is. I don’t know what happened, and I don’t know how I got here. One morning I went out exploring in the woods, I found a cave and I went inside. I kept going, and the cave kept getting deeper, and colder. It seemed like I walked forever, and then I saw the mouth of the cave. I didn’t understand how I’d gotten turned around, but when I looked out, it was snowing—it hadn’t been snowing when I left home that morning! It was snowing, and I was here! I didn’t have anyone, and I was stupid and I left the cave, and then I couldn’t find it again, and it was so cold, and there was so much snow! I don’t know what happened, Panec! I want to see my mother, and my brother, and my father,” she said, with tears streaming down her face. She knew he wouldn’t understand what ‘father’ meant, but that didn’t matter to her just then. “And then you and Danug were there,” she smiled softly through her tears, “and I got to know you, and I started loving you, and loving the rest of you all like family. I don’t know how to hunt like you do! I don’t know how to sew! I barely knew how to survive! I was so honored that you would love someone as useless as I am in your society, and now…” she choked on her sobs. “Now you need to think. Panec, I’m so tired! I want to get on with my life, to get past all this pain, and the only place I see my life going is with you and the others! Don’t you realize how lonely I am? You at least have people you’ve known and loved all your life! I’m trying to learn your life, but I can only learn so fast! Why can’t you understand that?” she demanded, as he continued to shake his head, both of them crying. “I know you can’t completely understand, but neither can I! Panec, please,” she pleaded with him. She reached out to him and was rewarded with only a cold, empty stare. Her tears came anew as her hurt bored deeper into her soul. “You’re the only life I’ve got, and if you refuse to understand, or at least try, then what’s the point of living?” she questioned. He just sat there motionless, absorbing her words. She shook her head through her tears, grabbed her backpack, and ducked out of the tent.

The instant she jumped up, she regretted the decision. She was still sore, and the quick movements hurt. But she couldn’t help it…she just felt that she had to run. She wanted to turn back and run into his arms, but then her tears came stronger when the thought crossed her mind that perhaps she would never be able to run back into his arms.

Her tears came fast and furiously, and she was so disoriented that she didn’t realize what was ahead of her.

“Whoa, Amara!” Danug said just before she slammed into him. He then realized that she was crying, and he reached out and grabbed her arms. “Amara, what’s wrong?!” he demanded of her. “Amara, tell me!”

She could hear the concern in his voice, and she was at the point of giving up. “Danug, Panec and I…it slipped, I didn’t mean for him to find out, not now, not so soon, and he…he…Danug, Panec…I don’t think he loves me anymore,” she sobbed into his shoulder.

Danug sighed heavily. He was afraid of this, and he knew that Panec was the one who needed him now, not Amara. “Amara, of course he loves you,” he said sternly. “I need to go talk to him, he needs to know that I understand, maybe that will help. Do you promise me you’ll go back to the cave?”

Amara just looked down.

“Amara!” Danug said forcefully, causing her to look up at him. “Promise me you’ll go straight back to the cave!”

She nodded slowly through her tears. “I don’t know why I should, though,” she said slowly.

He squinted his eyes at her and looked directly into her face. “You know better than that, Amara. You are better than that. Now go, just head straight back to the cave. Walk slowly and calm down, okay?”

She acquiesced, knowing she wouldn’t win. He stood there and watched her drag her feet back toward the cave, and knew she would be okay. She was a strong young woman. He turned and headed for the tent, trying to think of what he would say.

Panec had returned to a semi-normal state of mind right as Amara had fled. As soon as she cleared the drape, he regretted his actions. Of course she was alone and scared! He sat there berating himself until he heard footsteps outside the tent. His heart pounded, hoping it was Amara. His face fell when Danug poked his head inside the tent.

“Mind if I come in for a second?” Danug asked.

Panec gestured to the empty tent. “Sure, there’s plenty of room,” he choked. Danug came in and sat down beside him. “I guess I really ruined everything, huh?” Panec asked.

Danug clapped his hand on Panec’s shoulder. “No, my friend, you haven’t ruined anything.”

Panec shook his head. “Then you know?” he asked.

Danug nodded slowly. “Yes, I found out a couple of days ago.”

Panec, for just an instant, was angry that he himself hadn’t been told about this. But remembering his confusion from just moments ago, he realized that Danug was the likely person to talk to. “Danug, this is just too much--” he began, then stopped.

Danug only nodded. He completely understood that. “Yes, Panec, it is…but somehow I know that it’s true. Look at her sometime…you’ll see it in her eyes. She speaks the truth,” he said firmly.

Panec glanced at him. He wondered what Danug knew that he did not…and what Danug knew that Amara did not.

“There’s really not any way to explain it,” Danug continued, “so I feel it’s best to just accept it. She and I talked about how we would tell everyone else, and we decided to would be best to not tell anyone but you, eventually. I know she hadn’t planned to tell you the way she did, but things happen.”

Panec nodded complacently. He let out a single sarcastic laugh. “It explains her strange things,” he said bitterly. Then he shook his head again. “But Danug, it’s just so hard…I just can’t believe that she’s from…from some other time.”

“Panec, I completely understand. But it’s true, and there’s nothing we can do but accept it. YOU need to accept it.” Danug smiled at his friend, first tenderly, then wryly. “And just think of all the things she knows…” he said. “And she’s smart too…she picked up on Mamutoi in no time!”

Panec couldn’t help but smile at Danug’s last comment; even in mental turmoil he had noticed it too. And of course she would know things that we wouldn’t, he thought. Thinking of her made him melt. He wanted nothing but to love her. Couldn’t he just do that, and be happy? But there was something else he needed to know first. “Danug,” he said timidly, “am I…am I the right one for her? Can I do for her what needs to be done for her? Can I provide the support and other things that she’ll need?” He laughed again, bitterly. “Am I even good enough for her? Surely not, after the way I just treated her.”

“Yes, Panec, you are the one for her, I’m sure of it,” Danug replied. It was true, that was indeed the way he felt, but he would have said it anyway to rid Panec of his apparent self-loathing.

Panec took a couple of deep breaths. “Why can’t life just be easy?” he asked no one. He then stood up. “Well, do you want to help me get this contraption down?”

Danug smiled, glad that Panec seemed to be handling the situation well. Better than I thought he would, Danug thought. Then he wondered if perhaps it just hadn’t sunken it yet. Or maybe Panec had just decided to accept things the way they were and make the best out of it. Danug smiled, thinking of how happy Amara was with Panec. Yes, he thought, they are most definitely meant to be together. Panec is the only one for her, and she the only one for him.

Amara’s tears had dried moments after talking with Danug. She knew that things would be okay, but she wanted it okay now. She sighed and made her way back to the cave, doing her best to rid her face of the redness of crying.

“Amara, dear! How was your night?” Callie asked excitedly when she saw Amara walking through the trees.

Amara grinned at her. “It was wonderful, Callie!” she replied. “Except, um, well, I was a little, um, sore, I guess you could say this morning,” she said as she blushed a deep crimson.

Callie grinned back at her. “Now, why do I not have a hard time believing that?” she asked hypothetically, with her hands on her hips and her eyes twinkling.

Amara gawked at her, surprised at her brashness. She laughed softly and then rolled her eyes as she walked into the cave.

Callie smiled after her, thinking of how proud she was of both of them.

Healie ran to the young woman as soon as she walked in the cave and embraced her warmly. Without further ado, she handed Amara a cup of the tea that she had made. Amara made a face as she swallowed it. But, she thought, it’s better than the alternative. She and Healie embraced again, and then she sat down to take the dress out of her backpack.

Latie came squealing in and rushed to the hearth that Healie was using. “Amara! How did it go??” she asked excitedly.

Amara giggled and blushed again, completely forgetting about the latter events of the morning. “It was wonderful!” she replied.

Latie giggled in response and hugged her. “I knew you’d enjoy it! It’s a shame I couldn’t see you in the dress, though…I’ll bet you were gorgeous!!!” She hugged Amara again, and then stopped when she saw the look on her face. “What?” she asked worriedly.

“Uh oh,” Amara said.

“What, Amara?” Latie asked again.

“Um, Latie…I think, Latie, what do women do when they start their, what do you call it, um, yeah, the moon time?”

Latie furrowed her brow. Doesn’t she know? Latie thought. She shook her head and dashed over to where her stuff was and pulled out a strap of hide.

“Here,” she said, holding it out to Amara.

The confusion in Amara’s face was evident. “How does it work?” she asked.

Latie shrugged, thinking that they must have different methods in America. “You put this wider part between your legs, and then bring up the straps and tie them around a thong that goes around your waist,” she said, demonstrating. “Then, you use this,” she held up a wad of fiber of some sort, “to absorb it.”

Amara nodded, understanding. “Um, may I use yours?”

Latie laughed. She hadn’t realized until then just why Amara was asking. “Yes, of course! Let’s go to the stream and I’ll show you there,” she said, leading Amara out of the cave.

It was different, but surprisingly comfortable, Amara thought after she had the straps on. She had thought that the edges of the leather straps would chafe, but they didn’t seem to. She walked with ease with Latie back to the cave, but then stopped when she saw Danug and Panec standing there talking to Callie.

Panec turned and looked at her, trying once again to absorb her beauty. In mid-sentence, he left the conversation with Danug and Callie and walked straight up to Amara.

“I love you,” he said as he embraced her tightly, both of them oblivious to the others standing there.

Amara squeezed tears back and lost herself in his arms. “I love you too, Panec,” she said quietly.

He kissed her firmly and deeply, then embraced her again. He nuzzled her neck and whispered softly into her ear, “I’m so sorry, my love. Please forgive me?”

She could only nod and surrender herself to his loving arms. She looked into his eyes and smiled lovingly.

He kissed her again. “We’ll talk some more later, my beautiful, fascinating Amara,” he promised.

She nodded and smiled, then reached out to hug him again. “I love you more than anything, Panec,” she said softly.

He smiled into her hair and sighed. “I love you too.”

He turned and put his arm around her waist and grinned at Callie. “Now,” he said, “where’s this breakfast I’ve been hearing about? I worked up quite an appetite, you know.”

Amara blushed, but she couldn’t help but laugh with the others at the joke. She thought again about her happiness as they all stepped into the cave for their morning meal.

Amara sat next to Callie surrounded by hunks of meat and stands of small strips drying in the sun. She was sweating beneath the leather tunic that she wore. It was Healie's, and she felt bad for not returning it, but she had nothing of her own to wear really.

She couldn't believe how hot it had become in the matter of a few weeks. She wasn't positive of the season, but when she stumbled into their midst it had been snowing--but just as quickly the snow had melted and the whole prarie was green and spotted with wildflowers…it reminded her of home a bit. It seemed like spring, at least what she remembered spring as, but it was so hot! She was sure it wouldn't snow in summer though, even in the Ice Age.

"You want to cut some more Amara? There are still plenty of racks to start more meat drying..."Callie interrupted her reviere.

"Oh! Yes, I cut more- is so hot today. I think winter when I come…but now, is like...summer."

Callie commented, "It is hot today; it is summer, here." She handed Amara another chunk of the marbled red and white meat.

Amara adjusted the hand held knife and frowned. Her palms were blistered from the new implement. It wasn't like her knife, that her father had given her, but she didn't have that now. They had been cutting meat since yesterday afternoon. Healie was cooking food for later that evening and Latie was washing and drying the useful parts of the entrails of the bison. Radec and Danug were attending to fires burning all around to help dry the meat and ward off predators and scavengers.

Yesterday Amara had her first run in with a wolverine. She had been preparing to cut another shank into strips and had turned her back for a few moments. When she turned around again and reached for the meat a vicious snarl startled her, then sent her running. Needless to say the wolverine got away with the meat--but she had been too frightened to care. She had never seen such a mean looking animal, nor had she ever nearly lost her hand to one either. They had quite a time trying to calm her down. Now the men were watching the fires and the perimeter keeping their eyes peeled for other brave thieves.

Amara cut the meat carefully into the even tounge shaped strips that Callie had shown her and wondered where Panec was. She had seen him that morning with the other men. He had waved to her then walked off. She had assumed he was going to the bathroom, or their version thereof, or some other quick business-but he had gone all morning. "Lucky duck- got off easy," she said sarchastically to herself in English.

"What did you say Amara?" Callie asked her.

"Oh! Sorry, I talk to myself. I think that Panec and the other men not do too much work. We cut all day and they run away…not doing anything," Amara said quite seriously, because she was not sure if it was custom that the women did all of this work.

Callie laughed out loud, "You're right, Amara! Those men, think they can get off easy. Well not anymore--come on!" she said to Amara as she stood up. Then turning towards the men standing idily waving a fire, "All right lazy bones, it is your turn to cut up some of this meat. Think you can leave it all to the women--well not any longer." Callie smiled as she plopped the knives into Danug and Radec's hands.

Danug groaned and Radec grinned sheepishly to Callie. "Well you should have said something, we were waiting for you to get us and change posts."

"Ha! Now THAT I believe!" Callie remarked sarcastically. "Get to work!" Amara smiled to Danug smugly as she walked away.

The two women walked over to the river bank where Latie was laying then entrails out to dry. She waved to them and called out, "I thought we should start on the hides this afternoon. Amara needs some clothes of her own, and they need to be worked soon anyway. I am just about done with this."

Callie nodded agreement and Amara smiled to her friend. "Sounds good, but I think we should swim now. We should take a break. The lazy men can do some work now!" The three of them laughed and stripped to get into the cool and inviting water.

Latie sucked in her breath as she stepped into the river. "OH this is cold!!!"

“It is cold, but I’m so hot!" Amara said with almost a whine in her voice. She smiled and then held her breath as she dunked herself in the water. It was cold, but she didn't care. She was hot and felt grimy from dealing with all the meat in the hot sun. She still wasn't used to not being able to shower and get clean whenever she wanted. When she emerged from the water Latie and Callie had already gotten out.

"You don’t like to swim Latie?" she called out.

"Sure I like to swim, but that is cold water, and I want to get out of the sun, I am turning red!" Latie contested.

Amara smiled mischeviously as Latie turned her back to retrieve her clothes. Amara stuck her hands in the water and heaved water at Latie and Callie. When the two screamed in surprise, Amara laughed, "I think you’re not clean, you need to swim more!"

Latie put her hands on her hip and then grabbed Amara's borrowed clothing and lunged it into the water. "Now I think you need some new clothes Amara!" she laughed as Amara let out a cry of surprise.

She watched as the leather floated past her downstream then begin to sink. She splashed over to retrieve it and wrung it out as Latie on the bank luaghed.

Amara then stepped out of the water and looked pointedly to Latie, "Now I have no clothes. You have dry clothes, but I have none."

Callie who was standing a bit further off tossed her a soft hide, "Here, dry off with this, we'll find you something in the cave. Come on you two. Let's get something to eat and out of the sun!"

Latie smiled to Amara and Amara wrapped the hide around herself. Latie then linked her arm with Amara's in a gesture of friendship. The two younger women followed Callie into the small cave.

As the three exhausted women walked into the cave, Healie turned with a smile, "Just in time to eat some...what happened to you Amara?" she said with a puzzled look on her face.

"We were taking a swim, Latie thought it funny to throw my clothes in the river. So now I have nothing to wear but this!!" Amara exclaimed.

"But she splashed me first!" Latie added, grinning widely to Amara and Healie. It was all in good fun.

"Well," Healie said, "give me the wet clothing and let's go find something for you to wear Amara. Help yourselves to the meat rolls, there are also some greens in that bowl over there. Come on Amara," she waved her over to the hearth. "Let's see. It is about time for these to get a wash anyway."

Amara stood with the hide wrapped around her torso beneath her arms, "Healie, I sorry. They are your clothes, I didn’t mean to get wet, get them wet. I need my own clothes. I feel, um, I don’t want to use your clothes all the time," she said apologetically.

"Don't worry Amara, I have plenty of clothing that you can use, but you are right, we need to get you some of your own," she said as she handed Amara a pair of short leggings that reached her knee, and a sleevless tunic, undyed, but with a beaded neckline. "This should work for now, it is hot isn't it?"

"Yes, it is so hot. That is why we take a swim. I sweat so much, then cutting all the meat, all the blood, and the bugs. They bite a lot too. I need to swim a lot. Thank you for the clothes," Amara said explaining her discomfiture.

"Don't worry, take as many swims as you like, we won't have the river forever once we start moving. And here, you can put this salve on to keep the bugs away," Healie added as she walked away to let Amara change.

Moving? Amara thought. Moving where? She knew this wasn't really their home, but she had come to think of it as home. And they were going to leave? She suddenly felt panic, she would have deal with more people!! It was hard enough adapting to life with just six others, even though they were kind and felt like family. She quickly dressed and walked out to where the women were eating.

Callie handed her a plate and a water skin. Amara took it gratefully and smiled, then sat down next to Healie. She took a long drink of the cool water and a bite of the food. Her stomach growled loudly. She looked around but no one had seemed to notice. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until she actually sat down with food in her lap. "Good food! I am so hungry too. I didn’t know I was so hungry," Amara said.

Callie chimed in, "You wouldn't believe it Healie, those lazy men got away with the whole morning watching us do the work!!"

Healie smiled and laughed, "And you put them to work I assume?"

"Of Course! Radec would try to get away with anything! I have to keep my eyes on him all the time!" Callie said fiegning exasperation.

The women ate greedily, and went back for seconds when Latie said, "Healie, we need to work those hides soon, I was thinking we could make some new clothes for Amara, since she doesn't have any with her, or, I mean, more than one."

Amara did have one set of clothing, her jeans and t-shirt, but she had not worn them since she arrived. It made her stand out, and she didn't feel comfortable being too different from her new family. They just drew attention to her, and the mystery of her appearence. She just wanted to fit in, since this was her home and family now.

"Yes, I was thinking the same thing, Latie," Healie added nodding. "Especially once we start traveling again. It will be nice for her to have something to change into in camp and after swimming."

Amara used the oppurtunity to satisfy her growing anxiety of what Healie had said about moving. "Where are we going?"

Callie and Healie looked at her pointedly. "Oh! Amara I am so sorry I didn't say something before. We are traveling. We are going west on a Journey. This cave is not our home. We stopped here when it started to snow. The same time you came here. As soon as we finish the meat we are going to continue," Callie said.

"Oh. Why? I mean, why are we going, traveling?" Amara said. She wasn't sure she was very happy about traveling. She knew that these people would take care of her, and help her. But this was a strange country, or time, and she had just begun to get used to the lifestyle living in the cave.

Healie turned to her, "We are going to see new places and meet new people. Latie and her brother Danug, want to see some old friends far to the west. The rest of decided to come along. Don't worry Amara,"she said when she noticed the look of consternation on Amara's face, "you will be fine with us."

Amara tried to smile. She didn't want them to feel bad, but she was worried. "How far are we going?"

"The Zelandonii live far to the west, that is how far Danug and I want to go, I don't know about the rest," Latie said.

"Zelandonii? What is that?" Amara asked.

"The Zelandonii are another people, we are Mamutoi, you are American, and they are the Zelandonii. We have friends who live there. Ayla and Jondalar. They lived with us one winter, and so we want to go see them again," Latie explained.

Amara nodded her head and ate some more food. She didn't say anything else, but looked at her food. Healie frowned a bit. Amara didn't seem to like the idea of a Journey. For the first time it dawned on her how hard this must be for Amara. She nearly died in the snow, she lost her family, and everything she knew before. And now she was trying to learn a new langauge and lifestyle. To top it off, now they were telling her that this wasn't what she really had to get used to. She found a new respect for the young woman and put her arm around her protectively.

“Amara, don't worry. You are a part of our family now. You will be fine. We will help you with anything you need or want."

"Thank you," Amara said softly, feeling her loss once again.

Just then Panec walked into the cave. "Amara! Look what I made!" he exclaimed.

She looked up with a beaming smile at her new love. "Oh, Panec! Where have you been all day?" she said as she stood up and ran to meet him. She embraced him warmly, and looked at what he held in his hand. "What is that?" she asked puzzled.

"It is a spear-thrower! I made it for you. So I can teach you to hunt, with us, with this. You still want me to teach you, right?" he said with excitement.

"Of course! It is...wonderful, Panec. I’d love to learn with you." She smiled to him.

"Do you want to go this afternoon? We can start right away!" he said eagerly as they made their way to the others.

"Um, well, we’re talking, hides, I, oh. I need to make clothes. I have none. I want to go with you, but I need clothes," Amara said, all of a sudden torn. She did want to go with him, but she also wanted to make some clothes and learn how to tan the hides. She knew that she would have to learn to do it sometime.

"Oh, that is true. Don't worry, we can do it anytime. How about some food? I am starving!" he said, smiling to Amara.

She was relieved when he didn't seem to be bothered by her previous commitment. He sat down and she rushed to prepare him a plate of the food. When she brought it to him and sat next to him he smiled warmly with tenderness and put his arm around her.

Then Callie added, "That is wonderful that you made her a spear thrower, but you're worse than the other two. You haven't done any work at all today. After you eat you are out to cut meat!"

They all laughed as Panec looked on with surprise. He wasn't on to the joke.

Amara laughed then explained, "We worked all morning, Panec. Radec, and Danug did nothing all day, and you run away, so now it is men's turn to do work." She grinned to him, and he smiled back.

"Ah, I see," he said as he began to eat.

Panec leaned and kissed Amara on the forehead while they stood outside the cave. She sighed as she watched him walk away. He had taken his tunic off from the heat, and she noticed how the muscles in his back moved. Beautiful, she thought, and just then Latie grabbed her hand and pulled her away towards the other side of the cave where Healie and Callie were setting up to cure the hides.

Callie had stretched a few hides out on the ground, and pegged them down in the four corners so the skin was stretched tightly. She watched as Callie and Healie set to work on one hide. There was another nearby, waiting for attention from Latie and Amara.

"Having a partner will make this so much faster, and more fun!" Latie said as she kneeled to begin work. She handed Amara a scraper and then started scraping away the grain and hairs still clinging to the hide.

Amara kneeled down on the other side of the hide, like she saw Callie doing, and watched intently for a while to see how they scraped the hide, to figure out what exactly they were doing. Then she leaned down to try her hand at scraping. It became quickly apparent that she was scraping away the hairs, but it was obvious that Latie was more successful. For every one stroke that Latie made, Amara had to make two or three. Maybe it was just practice. Her arms were quickly tired as well. Amara noticed that Latie was nearing finished with her half of the hide, and she was only half way through hers. This was much harder than she had anticipated. And her blistered hands were not in any better shape scraping hides than cutting meat. She sighed, was she ever going to get this right? She had to learn all the skills that came naturally to these people, and she was so much slower. She began to feel frustrated and felt the tears threaten once again.

Latie watched as Amara struggled to scrape the hairs off the hide, the way she looked wasn't right. She looked tired, but there was something more. "Amara, do you want me to help you finish that side?" When Amara looked up she was taken aback, something was definitely wrong.

Amara said, "Yes, you can help."

Latie came and sat next to her and began scarping away. Amara watched the way she worked intently. Meanwhile Latie pondered what was wrong, whether or not to say something, maybe Amara was just tired. The two women worked side by side, and Amara adjusted her technique by watching Latie, and was soon making a little better progress. She didn’t want to admit that she had never learned to tan hides, it would be one more thing that would make her different, make her stand out, make them wonder where she came from. She was suddenly glad that Panec knew, she had been most afraid of him finding out, but he had accepted it. But she wondered to herself if it didn't change things, between them, anyway. She suddenly feared that it would come back to haunt her, the fact that she was so different, from the future. These people were so much like her, yet in the back of her mind, she wondered, maybe there was more difference than she knew. Twenty thousand years of difference, evolution, technology. For all she knew she could be related to one of them. She wouldn't be alive if someone like them had a baby, who had a baby who had a baby...so on and so forth, for thousands of years, the thought was staggering! She always knew that people had descended from apes, that the genes were passed down generation through generation. The big picture of evolution, life, fell into focus. It was almost too much to bear. She had never thought about it that way, it had never become personal, even though it was common knowledge among third graders that people evolved from apes and the like.

They quickly finished the hide between the two of them. Just as they stopped to rest, Callie came up with a pot of grease and something else, sort of a greyish slime, it looked like to Amara.

"Are you two up to the curing? Healie and I have started, and you can take a break for a while, but when you are ready here is the grease and brain," Callie said. She set the container down and walked away.

Amara looked at the contents strangely. She turned to Latie, "What is in that?"

Latie smiled, "It's bison grease and brain, to tan the hide, the grease helps to make the hide pliable and strong, and the brain to make it soft, so we can make clothes from it..."

"Brain!" Amara interrupted, "Oh, sorry, is, so...I didn't know to use brain," she said quickly. The thought of using the creatures brain to work the hide, was somewhat disturbing to her. It was the brain! It is one thing to eat the meat and use the skin, but the brain!

Amara watched Latie begin rubbing the fat and brain into the hide and soon she began doing it herself. They worked late into the afternoon, and Amara's side was streaked a bit, but she felt significantly better that she had done something, without actually having to say she didn't know how. It wasn't perfect, but she was going to learn and get better with time.

As the sun was setting and the sky was flaming in orange and pink the four women rolled the hides and carried them towards the cave where the men were sitting comfortably.

As the three women walked in to the cave, the men stood and immediatly brought them all plates of food. Healie had prepared it earlier...but the men decided to get on with dinner when they stopped. They were too hungry to wait. Panec approached Amara slowly with a plate and mug.

"Amara, here, I am sure you are hungry, and tired, come sit down," Panec said.

"Thank you, yes, I am tired. A lot of work today," she said gratefully as they found a corner near the firepit that wasn't occupied.

"Amara, tomorrow we are going to rest, everything has been taken care of, and the hides have to cure a few days before we can dye them," Callie called noticing Amara's fatigue. Latie had also mentioned her strange demeanor while working the hide to Callie.

"Oh, okay, I think it is good to rest tomorrow. Everyone worked hard, except you," she grinned to Panec.

He laughed then added, "Ah, but the advantage is yours love, a well rested man is better than a well roasted bison rump."

At that everyone laughed, the innuendo was plain, but in good natured fun. Amara blushed furiously. She wasn't used to that subject being talked about so openly, especially when it refered to her. But she smiled to Panec and hoped it was true.

"So what kind of clothes are you making, Amara? You must have worked hard today," Panec asked his promised mate.

"Oh, I have not really thought about that yet. It was hard to just prepare the hides. And then we have to dye them, then sew them. I don't know," she replied.

"Well, do you know what color you'd like? You look beautiful in white," he said softly.

She smiled softly and then said, "Well, they are traveling clothes. I don't think white. I like the yellow, like Healie's tunic I wore before. And dark brown, like yours," she said as she fingered the tunic he wore.

He nodded and put his arm around her as she finished eating the bison meat. It was different from any meat she had ever eaten before. But it was good, it was fresh too, and she knew it was probably much better for her than any hamburger she would have eaten at home.

As soon as she put down her plate, Panec stood up and was offering her a hand to help her up as well. "Come with me tonight Amara?" he said softly in her ear as she stood up. He put his arms around her in a soft embrace and looked into her eyes.

Amara felt the overwhelming love and desire envelope her. She almost felt like she couldn't refuse, even if she had wanted to, which she didn't. But she found it uncomfortable that everyone was so close by. They would be able to hear everything. During her "First Rites" they had erected a tent and they had been alone. But now, it was different, but she didn't want to be anywhere else but with Panec that night, so she smiled and followed his lead to his sleeping hearth.

They sat down upon his furs, and Amara could see the others around the fire getting ready to move to their own hearths. Healie was picking up the plates and food and moving to one side, Callie and Radec were in each other's arms laughing. Amara was glad to see they she and Panec weren't the only ones. She noticed Latie talking to Danug, and he looked at Amara. She wondered what Latie was saying to him. He knew everything, but she knew she could trust him. Panec lay down on his side with his head propped up by his hand, and he patted the furs, signalling that she should lay down. Amara lay down on her back and looked up into Panec's dark eyes. She smiled to him and he bent down to give her a long, slow kiss. Amara closed her eyes and felt wonderful. She almost felt that Panec made up for everything else she had lost when she had stepped through the time warp, or whatever it was. For a breif moment she wondered if she went back to that place could she walk back through.

Then Panec interrupted her train of thought. "Amara, I love you, all of you. I know this must be so hard for you. All of this. Will you tell me more about you, er uh, where you came from? I want to know everything about you my love. Trust me, I love you and nothing could make me change my mind. Will you tell me?"

Amara looked into his eyes, and saw the love there. It was true, but she didn't know how to tell him about the future. How? She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, I will tell you, I love you too," she said softly.

Panec felt a pang of jelousy that Danug had known before him, that Danug might know more about her than he did. But now that he knew, he was going to find out everything.

Panec looked at Amara expectantly, he was almost afraid to hear what she would say. But he had to know. He smiled at her to reassure her, and himself.

Amara looked at Panec, she wasn't sure what she could tell him. She wanted him to know her well, but would it be too hard for him to grasp somethings...understand how she felt. "Panec? What do you want to know. There is so much. I don't know where to start."

"Tell me, oh, what you do with your friends, and family. Is it like here?" he asked.

"Well, my brother was my best friend. We did everything together. Almost. His name is Jacob. He is a couple of years older than I am. But we would always spend time together...away from, ‘school’," she started when Panec questioned her with his eyes she stopped.

"What is ‘school’ Amara?" he wasn't familiar with the word from her language.

"Oh, school. You don't have school. It is a place where all the children go during the day. In school you learn to read, write, you learn about the past, or animals, plants. I don't know how to explain. We never really liked to go to school. But a lot, we would go into the mountains, or woods. When we did that, it was a lot like here. We would sleep outside, cook over a fire. Sometimes we caught rabbits. We would walk around all day, just looking at the place around us. It was always so beautiful," she said softly, remembering the good times she had with her beloved brother.

Panec looked at her, watched the sadness cross her face. He wished he could take away that pain. But she wouldn't ever be with her family again. He wanted to make her happy, and he hoped he could. But he wondered if he could fill the loss she had experienced. "Amara, I love you. I know it is hard to talk about, but I want you to tell me everything. I want to help you. I know I can't be your brother, or your mother, but I love you, and want to be your mate, forever. I want you to be happy here, with me."

"Panec, I am happy with you. I love you so much, I never dreamed of finding someone so wonderful to love. Really I had never met anyone like you. You're right that I can't ever have my family back, and it is hard. It hurts, but you do make me happy..." she stopped suddenly and put her arms around him. She buried her face on his chest, and felt choked up again. She knew she couldn't cry everytime she thought about the past, or the future…or whatever it was...but she knew she would be okay, as long as Panec was with her. She felt his hand caress her hair, he lay down and she rested her head on top of his chest. She felt his breath move up and down, and she cried again.

She felt him embrace her tighter. "Amara, Amara. It is okay. Let it out. It must be so hard for you, but I love you and am here for you. Anything you want, I will give it to you. Anything you want to do, we can do. You'll see, life here is good. Sometimes it is hard, but we are happy, and healthy. The Mother looks over us always, you are just like us, just from…far away," he paused, it was hard to think about it in those terms. She was from a future that he would never see, never know. But he didn't want to think about that now. He lifted her chin and dried her tears with his finger, then kissed her softly. He rolled her on to her back and laid on top of her. He carressed her and kissed her neck. He wanted to help her forget for a while, and just love her.

Amara felt Panec kiss her and carress her and once again succumbed to her feelings. Feelings that were always there, but had to be awakened by Panec. She quickly forgot anyone else and let herself feel loved and desired by this amazing wonderful man. As the fire died they made love and feel asleep afterward in each other’s arms.

Amara awoke to the feeling of Panec’s hand gently caressing her hair and shoulders. She hummed in pleasure and sleepily rolled over to smile at him. She reached her hand up around his neck and leaned up to kiss him. He then smiled at her and kissed her forehead. “Good morning, my love!”

Amara hugged him tightly in reply and lazily thought back to the time they had spent together. She blushed deeply when she realized that she had completely forgotten about everyone else in the cave and thus had not attempted to silence her Pleasure. Then she gasped in complete embarrassment…she had also completely forgotten what time of the month it was. She groaned as she moved to put on the cumbersome straps and proceeded to clean the furs as best she could. Oh, how she missed running water!

After she had gotten ready for the day, Healie came over to her with a cup of warm tea. “Here you go,” she said, holding it out for the young woman. Amara smiled and blushed again, knowing what it was for. She downed the bitter liquid, and Healie laughed at the surprise in Amara’s face when she realized that it was not the same tea she had been drinking. “You drink a different kind of tea during your moon time,” Healie offered in response to Amara’s inquisitive look. “I also added some fresh honey to it,” she added, grinning.

“Honey?” Amara asked excitedly, understanding what Healie was saying and mentally filing the word away for future use.

Healie laughed again. “Yes, dear. While you and Panec were resting after your exertions last night, Latie and Danug got up early and went exploring.” She laughed again. “They have a few whelps to show for their effort, but they managed to get away with quite a bit of honeycomb.” She pointed to the mouth of the cave. “They’re all over there enjoying a nice sweet breakfast, if you would like to join.”

Amara beamed. Since she had divvied up the last of her chocolate, she had been on what she always called a ‘chocolate withdrawal’ for the past couple of days. Not only that, but she had no sweets to satisfy herself with at all. Except, she thought slyly, Panec.

As if he read her thoughts, Panec grabbed her up into his arms and ran to where the others were eating breakfast, Amara squealing with laughter at the bouncing. He put her down and Latie stood up and wrapped her arms around Panec’s neck, giggling. He joined in and picked her up in turn, bouncing her around in circles.

Callie laughed that this entertainment that worked so well with babies worked with young adults as well. “Are you children finished?” she asked.

Amara and Latie were flushed with the excitement and promptly sat down. Panec lowered himself to the ground next to Amara and smiled at her delight of the sweet breakfast.

“So, women, what are your plans for today?” Radec asked as lounged, full and content.

“Why, we’ll continue working the hides of course. Was there something else you had in mind?” Callie asked.

“No, no, you continue on as planned,” he said, but not without letting his eyes sparkle with a secret.

Callie cocked her head at her mate. “What do you have that you’re hiding?” she asked.

Radec stood up and stretched. “Nothing, nothing at all.” He smiled at the small gathering. “Well, men, do you want to come with me today?” he asked coyly.

Young men smiled at each other and stood. “Sure,” Panec said, grinning at Amara.

The women watched as the men of the camp bounded quickly out of sight into the woods. “They’re up to something,” Latie offered. Then she smiled. “Oh, well, might as well get all this cleaned up and start on those hides again.”

Amara sighed. She decided that she didn’t like working with hides…she’d much rather be out hunting or something of the like. She wasn’t much of an ‘indoors’ girl at home. But, she thought, duty is duty. She stopped and smiled. She had thought that phrase in Mamutoi! She eagerly began helping to gather up the dirty plates and cups for washing, delighting in her realization. It was the first step in letting go of her individual past, now ironically the future, and embracing her destiny.

Sweat was rolling down her face as Amara struggled with the unwieldy hide. She kept having to push her hair out of her face, which was annoying her to no end. She made a mental note to tie it back the next time she did any work like this. She felt awful…she hadn’t shaved her legs since she had been here, she had hardly bathed, and not once with hot water, her hair was oily and greasy and felt horrible to run her fingers through. The more she thought, the more she fumed. She didn’t have much more toothpaste left, and she wished that she had some aspirin for her cramps. Things and routines that she took for granted at home now seemed impossible to live without, and each day she felt dirtier, hotter, and much more uncomfortable. Air conditioning would be nice, too, she thought. She looked up at Latie and chided herself for being so selfish. Latie, too, was sweating hard, and so were the older women. Amara sat back on her heels and sighed, looking up to the sky at the bright sun burning down. She let out a sarcastic laugh without realizing it, realizing that it was probably much cooler where she was now than in Kansas.

Latie looked over at her and grinned. “What’s so funny?”

Amara chuckled again. “I was thinking of how hot it is here, then I realize that it is much hotter where I come from, so that make it not so hot here.”

Latie smiled at her, thinking of how hot she herself was. “Amara, let’s go swimming!” she offered.

Amara looked up at the women, hoping that they would grant permission. When the nod came, but not without a grin, Amara jumped up, quickly folding her hide. Latie jumped up just as quickly and took off in a sprint for the river, Amara right on her heels. They splashed into the water after quickly stripping their clothes of and tossing them on the riverbank. Amara dunked down and swam quickly toward Latie, underwater. She then reached out and tugged gently on Latie’s ankle, pulling her underwater. They both came up choking with laughter, continuing to splash each other wildly.

Amara was just about to push Latie under when Latie all of a sudden stood completely still, her face turning pale. Amara’s first thought was that she saw a snake, which she absolutely despised, so Amara followed suit and stilled.

“Latie,” she whispered. Latie brought her hand up just under the top of the water so that Amara could see and pointed to the other side of the river. She turned around quickly but quietly, and was completely fascinated by what she saw.

“Neandertals!” she whispered excitedly. She couldn’t believe she was seeing them…the only pictures she had ever seen were in History books, and then again on the wall in the cave before the snowstorm. They looked almost exactly as the books had portrayed them, so she wasn’t a bit surprised at their appearance. They were different, but she knew that they were human. She couldn’t help but grin and look toward Latie. Her grin left, however, when she saw how white Latie’s face was. “Latie? Are you okay?” she asked, concerned.

“Yes,” Latie whispered harshly, barely moving her mouth. “Stand still Amara, we don’t want them coming over here.”

Amara’s face fell, a little disappointed. She had hoped that she could take a closer look at them, but if Latie was uncomfortable, which she seemed to be, then it would probably be best to just listen to her. Besides, she thought, they could be dangerous…they don’t look so, but one never knew. So she turned to watch them again, amazed at actually seeing this glimpse into her human past.

There were six of them…three men, two women, and a child. The woman in particular seemed uncomfortable that Amara and Latie were looking at them so closely. They all wore what looked like hides just wrapped around their bodies, and tied with a leather thong, along with a small lumpy leather bag around their necks. Their bodies were quite a bit heavier than Amara was used to, but again, she expected it from the pictures she had seen. They looked amazingly like apes, which made her wonder again about the evolution theories she had been taught. The men stood protectively between the women and child and the two young women in the water, although they were on the opposite side of the river. Their spears, which looked to Amara like huge toothpicks in the way they were shaped, were held at attention at their sides, ready to be thrust at any predator or attack.

After meeting their eyes for just an instant, but what seemed like an eternity, the men turned and prodded the women and child back into the forest. Amara thought that they seemed like they wanted to get away…not that she and Latie were necessarily a threat, but she likened it to any encounter with a skunk; most people wouldn’t consider a skunk a threat, but would want to get away quickly to avoid any contact. Then she wrinkled her nose at the thought; that meant that she and Latie were the skunks. She wondered what it was about them that these people wanted to get away from.

Latie let out a sigh of relief as the small group headed back into the woods, and then she looked at Amara. “We should go back. I don’t want to worry about running into more of them.”

Amara cocked her head, a little confused. “Why not? Are they dangerous?”

Latie shook her head. “No, they’re not, but in my opinion, they’re unpredictable. And besides, they don’t seem to want to be around us very often. The men are quick to defend their women, but even the women are incredibly strong. I just don’t want to worry about meeting them again.”

Amara followed Latie out of the river and thought about what she had just said as they put their clothes back on. “Why don’t they want to be around us?” she asked, curious.

Latie glanced to the other side of the river bank. “Well, some people think that Flatheads, Clan people, ignore us because they’re animals…most animals do try to avoid people,” Amara thought about her skunk analogy and almost grinned at the irony, but managed to stop herself before she did, “but I think that in part it’s because they’re afraid of us.”

Amara was even more perplexed after it had sunk in what Latie’s first phrase meant. “You mean, people think that they are animals?” Latie nodded, almost ashamedly. “Do you?” Amara asked apprehensively, then sighed in relief when Latie shook her head. “Why do you call them Flatheads?”

Latie gestured to the other side of the river. “Because they have flat heads, basically, but I think it’s meant as an insult more than just a name.” She looked at the far bank again and then gestured toward the camp. “Come on, we need to go back, so that when the men get back we can tell them right away that we saw some.”

Amara couldn’t believe what she was hearing. These people thought they were animals? How could they think that? Sure, they look different, she thought, but wasn’t it obvious that they were human? She stopped and wondered about something she had learned in biology…if two animals are not of the same species, then they cannot reproduce. The few that do can only have sterile offspring, such as the horse and donkey…the mule is sterile. “Latie,” she asked, “are there any children that are half like us, and half like them?”

Latie looked quickly at Amara, almost shocked. “Amara, do you not have any Flatheads where you come from?” she asked.

Amara thought carefully about how to answer. Did the Neandertal ever exist in America? No, she thought, and shook her head in reply.

Latie nodded in understanding. There were a lot of things strange about the place Amara came from, like the lumpy brown ‘chocolate’ as she called it that tasted so wonderful. “Yes, Amara, there are some, and they’re called children of ‘mixed spirits,’ but there are not many. Most women would consider it vile to share Pleasures with a Flathead male. There are a few incidences that I’ve heard of,” she stopped and thought about the story Ayla had told about her son’s future mate’s mother, “where a man will force a Flathead female. Like women, most men would find it sickeningly gross, but there are a few young men who are no good, and do it because they are sick in the head. I think that’s part of the reason why you will hardly ever see a Flathead around us…many of them are scared, I think, of what our young men might do.” Latie made a face. “Flathead or no, I can’t understand why any man would ever do that! Does that happen where you come from?”

Amara nodded. “Yes, and probably happen much more than happen here.” What was she thinking? Of course it happened more than it happened here…there were literally billions of more people in the world during her time. She waved the thought aside to keep things simple.

“But I think that the came we came from, the Lion Camp, has a unique understanding of Flatheads,” Latie began.

“Oh?” Amara questioned. She stopped Latie there in the path. “Latie, we can see cave from here, and I am sure if there is problem we can yell, so please tell?”

Latie sighed, feeling a little uncomfortable to talk about such things, but she figured that she might as well let Amara be privy to the recent history of the Lion Camp. She nodded and sat down on a fallen tree, motioning for Amara to sit beside her. She took a deep breath and began to tell her new-found sister about her home, and of the two amazing visitors with special powers that called her camp their home, if only for a short time.

Amara stood up, still not out of her dreamy stage yet. Latie had told quite a story, and she was so descriptive that it was like Amara had actually been there. They had been yanked out of their tale by a concerned call. She felt somewhat guilty, because they had not told the women that they would be gone quite this long, and she knew that they would worry, but she was sure that the delay had been worth any punishment that they might receive. She had always been skeptic before about psychics, or the supernatural, but her thinking had most definitely been reshaped since she had lived through her own ‘out-of-body’ experience of sorts; there was no other explanation for why she was where she was.

Latie smiled. “I figured you would enjoy the story, but I agree, we should be getting back. I could use some water! All that talking sure dried my mouth out,” she laughed.

Amara grinned in return, beginning to float back into the natural world. So this is who we’re going to see, she thought. Well, in that case, I don’t mind travelling at all. Maybe this Ayla can explain something about what happened to me. It doesn’t hurt to dream, she thought, feeling the first glimmer of hope yet.

Callie sighed in relief when she saw the two young women walk down the path. “Where have you two been?” she demanded. “We were worried! You were gone so long!”

“Well, we went swimming, and then for quite a while we sat and talked. I told Amara all about Ayla and Jondalar, and about Rydag, too,” she said, a shadow crossing over her face. She had been fond of the boy and still missed him. He had indeed been different, but he was special, and he was human; she would defend him against anyone.

Callie smiled softly. “Well, okay, but I wish you had come back and told me when you were finished swimming.”

“I know,” Latie admitted. Then, changing the subject, she asked, “Where are the guys?”

Callie gestured inside. “They just got back. In fact, truth to tell, Healie and I were so absorbed in what we were doing that we didn’t notice the time. It was when they got back and asked where you two were that I called.”

Amara and Latie both grinned. “So, don’t be getting onto us so much if you didn’t even realize we were gone!” Latie laughed.

Radec was coming out of the cave at that time and let out a hearty laugh himself. “I agree,” he offered, wrapping his arms around his mate.

Amara looked anxiously into the cave for Panec, and was a little disappointed when he didn’t come out to greet her like Radec had. She didn’t have long to think about it, however, before her stomach growled loudly enough for all to hear. Radec laughed again, and Amara couldn’t help but do the same; his laugh seemed to be contagious, and she was always happier and felt better when he laughed.

“Hello, ladies,” came a voice from behind them.

They turned around and smiled at a widely-grinning Danug. “What are you grinning about, brother?” Latie asked mischievously.

“Oh, nothing, just a surprise, that’s all,” was all he offered.

“For whom?” Latie prodded.

“Not you!” he laughed.

Radec laughed again and Latie’s eyes twinkled. “Well then I would assume, since both of the women are here, and you men have been together all day long, that the only one the surprise could be for would be Amara.”

Danug made a face. “Oh, Latie! You may have just spoiled it!”

She laughed in reply. “No, I didn’t. You were the one who just admitted who it was for! I was only guessing,” she said innocently.

Danug shrugged, not wanting to agree. Instead, he reached out a hand to Amara. “Oh lovely sister of mine…can I call you a sister?” Amara nodded nonchalantly. “Well, then, oh lovely sister of mine, may I lead you inside the cave so that you may claim your surprise?”

She nodded again, excitedly, and took his hand as he led her inside. It seemed darker, she thought, and then she realized that all the fires were out. What in the world could be going on?

Suddenly a spark illuminated the corner of the cave by the large boulder that she had claimed as her own personal hearth. She blinked, and then a fire was started. This was not new, she had seen the firestone herself, and had a few of her own matches left, but it was the items that were illuminated by the fire that made her gasp.

She couldn’t believe it! She rushed over to her hearth, where Panec was waiting. “Panec,” she said breathlessly, looking excitedly around her. There were brand new sleeping furs, a pile of newly made clothes, all of which were neatly folded, and small lumpy bags and wooden containers. She gasped for breath, not able to contain her enthusiasm. “Panec!” she cried again.

Then she heard laughter behind her. “Do you like them?” Healie said as Danug, Latie, Radec, and Callie lit the rest of the fires in the cave.

Amara was flushed. “Y-yes,” she stammered. “When…how…oh, my!”

“What do you think we men were doing when we were being so lazy?” Danug asked, laughing. “And do you think the women were that upset all those times when Latie disappeared with you?”

Amara glanced quickly over at Latie. She had hid the secret so well! “You did it all on purpose!” she accused Latie.

Latie nodded quickly in reply. “Why, yes, of course! We couldn’t have you sitting around the cave discovering all the secrets, could we?”

“But when did you do all this?” Amara asked.

Healie came and knelt down beside her. “Well, when Panec first said that he loved you, we got the idea. After the hunt, when you and Panec stayed by yourselves, we came back and started things then. Worked most of the night, and all the next day until Radec returned with you and the rest of the stuff. Then when you had your First Rites, you’ll recall that I left you two by yourselves, knowing I could trust Panec to do the right thing. We did quite a bit then. Each day since, while you’ve been helping us with hides, the men have gone out and killed several small animals. Many rabbits, and I believe Danug even got an out-of-season wolverine. And while they were gone, they skinned and tanned each of the hides themselves. We also had some leftover from the last hunt, so we decided to make you your own furs.” She gestured over to Panec’s hearth. “We made them to match his, since you’ll be combining them after you are joined. The woodwork was fairly easy, and a lot of the dishes we got from just cleaning the bones from the bison we hunted. It’s not anything excessive, because we want you to be able to carry things, of course the horses will help out, but we did want to get you started on your hearth, since you have no mother here to do it for you.”

Amara was too excited to let the wave of sadness that threatened at the mention of her mother come over her. She did however allow tears to well up, and a few spilled out. Panec reached out and squeezed her tightly. “Will this do?” he asked.

She nodded and wiped her eyes. “Yes, yes it will! Oh, how can I ever…I am so happy, oh, thank you!” she cried.

Panec squeezed her tightly and kissed her hair. “Now we have a beginning for our hearth, my beautiful Amara!” he whispered into her ear.

She simply nodded and let the tears flow, overwhelmed with the absolute kindness and unconditional love that her new family had for her.

“Be very quiet, Amara,” Panec whispered as he crouched down low.

She wrinkled her nose at him. She had hunted before, and she knew how to be quiet without him reminding her. She bit her tongue however to avoid any friction and then smiled, knowing and understanding that he was being extremely patient with her while she learned how to use the spear thrower. What I wouldn’t give for a .22 gauge, or at least a bow and arrow, she thought, having been used to the more ‘modern’ methods of hunting. She continued to creep quietly behind Panec as they stalked the beautiful buck. She smiled again, realizing what a gift those antlers would be for her father. She didn’t have time to reminisce much, however, as the deer caught their scent and looked up, standing stark still.

Panec reached out his hand over her spear-thrower and remarked, so low that she could barely hear him, “Throw your spear as soon as I tell you to.”

She nodded silently and readied her weapon. She could see that their prey was nervous, and both humans and animal were anxious.

Suddenly Panec gave a quick nod and motioned with his hand, and quick as a flash she let loose the spear. Too quick for the proud deer to have a chance to escape, as the short spear plunged into his neck. This was always the part that Amara hated the most, and she jumped up quickly to run and end the buck’s suffering. Imitating the technique she had practiced with what seemed like hundreds of small animals since she had arrived, and building on what she had previously known, she quickly slit the throat open and moved out of the way. In a matter of seconds, she knew that it was over, and gave thanks that it had been as painless as she could possibly make it. She then looked up to see her future mate beaming proudly at her.

“That was wonderful!” he cried, wrapping his arms around her.

She smiled in the praise and returned the hug, which only lasted for a moment. Then they were both squatted down as he watched over her moves.

She did the same thing with the deer that Healie and Callie had done with the huge bison; she started at the neck where she had cut it and made a large slit down the middle. Doing her best to avoid the massive amounts of blood coming out, she reached in and pulled on either side of the ribs with every bit of her strength, hearing a sickening crack as they broke. She then caught her breath, and continued by reaching in and pulling out the organs and entrails. She quickly and efficiently piled what she pulled out into quasi-organized heaps, wanting to work as quickly as possible before the stench set in. After she had completed pulling the organs out, Panec moved to the other side of the animal and helped her gently cut the hide away. As soon as it was separated, he rolled it up and tied it with a thong.

Each piece of meat was carefully cut away from the carcass and like the organs, organized into their own piles. Panec then got up and soon returned with a thick branch. They knew that they didn’t have to have all of the bones, but there were a few that would be useful, and it was easiest to just whack at the skeleton to separate the pieces. She watched him with fascination as he moved with quick, controlled strokes, separating the hip from the spine. That could be used as a plate or platter of some sort after it was cleaned. Then he began working on the skull to remove the brain as she carefully removed each vertebrae, pulling them each with some effort off the spinal cord as one would pull beads off a piece of thread. Panec collected the entire brain in a wooden bowl and fitted a carefully made lid over it to avoid losing any.

She was surprised at how quickly they had worked, and after they had packed up the meat, bones, and inner organs that they wanted, they headed back to the camp. She thought that she would be more exhausted than she actually was, and she was extremely glad that it hadn’t taken everything out of her. She wanted to be perfect for Panec, and the only way to really do that was to learn their way of life as quickly as possible, and to become adept at survival skills. She suddenly laughed at the irony; all her life she had been taught that survival skills in her world were math and grammar, not hunting and camping. She couldn’t elaborate on how thankful she was that her father had taught she and Jacob how to survive in the wilderness. She knew that she couldn’t survive in this kind of wilderness, but knowing nature in the world in which she was raised significantly helped her now.

Latie came out and greeted them cheerfully when they arrived back at the cave, and she and Danug both offered to take some of the load. Panec and Amara readily agreed, and once again the pieces were spread out into their respective ‘piles.’ Amara worked quickly, building a few small fires and stringing the meat from poles and spits she set up hastily, preparing them to be smoked. She was grateful to Danug; before she and Panec had left, she had seen what looked like a hickory tree, and begged him to cut it down. He had thought she was crazy, being so selective about the kind of wood to burn, but he saw how excited she was when she found the tree, so he indulged her.

As soon as the meat and edible organs were taken care of, she gathered up the entrails and bones and took them down to the river. She carefully washed out the delicate intestines and was sure not to rip them. Some of the meat would be stored in them as sausage, and some fat as well, and she likened the look of them to the links she had seen dogs carry around in cartoons when she was young. She washed all of the bones thoroughly, and then sat down to scrape the marrow out of as many of them as possible. The marrow she placed in another wooden bowl; Healie had said she wanted it for something.

After that was all completed, Panec helped her to carry it all back to the cave, and Danug was gracious enough to lug up a stomach full of water for her. The fresh stomach had been filled as well, so that it could stretch out. She placed the stomach of water that Danug had brought back beside her as she untied the thong and unrolled the hide. She smiled, proud of herself; the deer had no imperfections that she could pick out, and the hide would come in handy, she was sure. She pulled all of the meninges off as well as the small blood vessels, and then she rinsed the hide with water. Her next step was to stretch the hide between four pegs drilled into the ground, and she measured the distances carefully. She worked up a sweat stretching it, and then leaned back on her heels again to catch her breath and wipe some of the sweat off her face. Then she had to set back to work. Latie had given her a scraper – she had no better word for it – as part of the ‘housewarming’ event, and she took a deep breath and began the tedious work of scraping the hide.

The others watched her for a few minutes, then dispersed, doing their own daily routine. It was in sorts almost like a test, to make sure that Amara could handle the stresses of their life. Danug especially had urged her to try it, to see how much she could do on her own, given her background. He had been extremely impressed after seeing her work and was glad that he had mentioned it. Radec had started mentioning that he wanted to leave soon; they had been at this cave for over a moon now, and he wanted to have as much time as possible to travel. However, he had known that they couldn’t just throw Amara into the thick of their life. He wasn’t sure where she was from, but it was obvious that her customs were different, and he too wanted her to get acclimated to their life. But he was also concerned that time was running short, so when Danug first mentioned this ‘test of skill’ that he had in mind for Amara, Radec had readily agreed.

Latie constantly glanced at Amara, and not once was she disappointed. Amara worked quickly and efficiently, and did a much better job on her first solo hide than Latie was sure many other women, used to the lifestyle, had done.

The sun was well into its descent when Amara had finished all that she could do for the time being. She looked around at her work and took stock of what she had. The meat would continue to smoke. She wished she had a small building of some sort in which she could smoke it, to trap in more of the flavor. The hide had been scraped and stretched and rinsed again, and she would allow it to dry some before working on it again. She didn’t want it to be stiff, so she could only break for dinner and then must return to it, continuing to work it to the desired softness. It was slow, tedious work, but it paid off, and every time she snuggled into her furs at night she thought of the time and energy that had gone into making them, and appreciated the work that much more. The organs save the stomach were all dried, awaiting further use, and she looked forward to stuffing the sausage into the intestines and twisting them to make the links; it made her think of the balloons that could be twisted and bent into all sorts of different shapes back home, just a little less pliable.

“Amara, are you ready to eat?” Latie asked.

“I am starving!” Amara stated quickly, feigning extreme hunger by gripping her stomach.

Latie laughed in reply and held out her hand. “Here, let me help you up,” she said as she helped to pull Amara up off the ground. The two young women walked just to the mouth of the cave, where a delicious meal was waiting. Amara’s mouth watered at the sight of variety of food they had prepared. She promptly sat down and ate, savoring each bite.

“Amara seems to know what she’s doing when it comes to hunting,” Radec commented. “She also seems to be adept at sewing, and is learning quickly at tanning. I suppose we should show her some flint knapping, but I’m sure that can wait.” He stopped and cleared his throat. “How would you all feel,” he paused and looked at all of them, then continued, “about leaving as soon as Amara’s done with her work on the deer?”

Amara almost choked. So soon, she thought, fear welling up inside of her. She looked around at the small gathering of people, not wanting to be the center of attention. She met Panec’s eyes, and felt a calming in her as he smiled gently and nodded.

“Well, Radec, if you think it’s about time, then we’ll leave,” Callie returned.

He nodded. “I was just thinking about what Latie and Danug had said about Jondalar saying they had to cross a glacier, and since we haven’t been that way, we don’t know if that’s a necessity or not. I would like to have plenty of time to get there and make a decision, and perhaps stay with some of the people near there…er, who did you say they were Danug?”

“Losadunai,” Danug answered.

“Right, the Losadunai,” Radec continued, “I’m sure they’d be willing to let us stay with them for a couple of nights. At least until we become more familiar with the area, and until we figure out if we want to cross the glacier or go around it.”

Nods went around the circle, and Amara swallowed heavily. She looked down at her plate and forced the tears back. This was the only home she had known since she had been here, and it was a little unnerving to realize how temporary it was. She breathed deep and relaxed, realizing that as long as she was with her family, she would always be home. That was how she had felt when moving from Kansas to Vienna. And that, she reminded herself, was much further than she would ever travel again. She looked up and smiled at Panec. He sighed in relief that she didn’t take it too hard, knowing that that was just one more obstacle out of the way. He didn’t want her to be unhappy, and they both knew that there was no choice; of course they were gong to leave.

Danug, too, was pleased that she had smiled, and genuinely at that, and he nodded to himself. She’s a strong young woman, he thought. He then smiled to himself. She and Ayla will get along wonderfully. His thoughts raced through his mind. I wonder, though, if Ayla will be able to answer the question that we’ve all been wondering since Amara got here; how?

Amara stood up and stretched. It was well into the morning, but she had worked well into the night on her hide, and had not gone to bed until the full moon was well past the zenith. She guessed that she had awoken someone when she came back in and ate the cold food that had been left out for her, and whoever it was had allowed her to sleep in. She had a wonderful feeling of accomplishment, knowing that her little trial was over. All of the meat was taken care of and had either been cooked and eaten or stored away for the traveling. The entrails were washed and had been put to their respective uses, the few bones she had saved had been divvied out according to their purposes, and now the hide was finished. Stretched and softened, she was fairly impressed at how soft and pliable it was, and she was excited at the thought of getting to decide what she wanted to do with it. But in the meantime, she thought, I should go have some breakfast.

She donned her clothes for the day, brushed out her hair, and walked to the entrance of the cave. She could hear Latie and Danug laughing about something off in the distance. She assumed that Healie and Callie were checking their stores and gathering the necessary herbs and the like that they might need to continue, and she was sure that Radec and Panec were on some hilltop somewhere scouting the countryside for the route they would be taken.

Someone had left out a plate with some small cold cakes and a cup of luke-warm tea, and she sat down and began her breakfast. While eating, she lost herself in her thoughts about traveling. Healie had said that the horses could help carry quite a bit of their belongings, but Amara was hoping to be able to carry most, if not all, of her stuff by herself. She was no stranger to heavy loads; when she went out ‘exploring’ she always had a heavy pack, and at school she was used to carrying three or four books at least, along with any folders or binders necessary, in addition to her purse and whatnot. Clothes and furs weren’t as heavy as large schoolbooks, but they were much more bulky, which was what had her concerned. She would have to check…they might be better folded, but then again they might be better rolled. She shrugged; it really didn’t matter, because she didn’t have a lot of stuff. Many of her new dishes and utensils could be folded or wrapped up inside the clothes or furs, so she wasn’t concerned with that. What she was concerned with was all the stuff she had in her pack from her ‘other’ life.

Amara wrinkled up her nose at the thoughts. Many of her items could still come in handy. Her flashlight, until the batteries all died, would be good to have, along with the navigational instruments she had. She had used all of her toothpaste, so she no longer needed the tube, but she didn’t want to just throw it on the ground somewhere. After going through in her mind everything that she had, the only thing that she didn’t need for certain was the CD player. She sighed. Like the toothpaste tube, she couldn’t just throw it away; it was part of her life, and at home it had been a huge part of her life. But the two AA batteries she had in it were quickly dying, and she wouldn’t be able to use it ever again. If she kept it, she would have a lifetime of explaining to look forward to. But then if she threw it away or anything like that, then that was just one less memory she had. She hugged herself as a cool breeze rustled through the trees. That’s all I have now, she thought; memories.

She closed her eyes, and if she tried hard enough, she could see her brother’s face. Listening and looking closely within herself, she could hear her mother’s laugh, and see the sparkle in her father’s eyes. Somewhere off in the distance, she could hear the bark of their dog, which had died before they moved out of the States. She remembered the bus rides to school in the mornings back home; always fighting with Jacob about something; laughing with her mother at some of the clothing styles that were popular; shaking her father’s beer and laughing as it spewed all over him when he tried to open it; the taste of barbecue; the color of her room and all the knickknacks and odds and ends that she had collected; the collection of books that they had acquired over the years…she thought on and on, not realizing that she was smiling and laughing softly at the memories through the tears that were running down her cheeks.

A bird whistled in the tree beside her, and it snapped her back into life, all the memories vanishing. She realized then that she had been crying, and she glanced hastily around her to make sure that no one had seen her. She wiped her nose and stood up, taking her dirty dishes back into the cave and placing them in the large basket with the other dirty dishes. She wondered absently when they would be leaving. Radec had hinted that he wanted to leave in only a couple of days, and she wondered if he had been truly serious. Everyone seemed to agree that it was about time to continue, and she shrugged to herself. She would go where they went; more specifically, where Panec went. She smiled warmly when he crossed her thoughts. If she had it to do over again, she wouldn’t have changed anything; Panec and his love were worth losing a thousand histories. She knew that wherever and whenever her parents were, that they would agree. They had always taught her and Jacob that the world revolves around love. When it was time for them to grow up and continue on with their lives, their parents would let go. She had been told that she was created because her parents loved each other…if it weren’t for that love, she wouldn’t exist. That was something fascinating about babies; they’re something from nothing, and her parents had drilled that into her head. But children aren’t created to be there for the parents, children are individuals and must be allowed to lead their own lives and find their own destinies. She laughed semi-sarcastically at that thought; she had sure found hers!

“Well, I see you’re up!” Callie exclaimed behind her.

Amara spun around and grinned. “Yes, and I have eaten breakfast, too.”

“Good,” Callie remarked, and then walked over to where Amara was standing. “Do you want to help me with these dishes?”

Amara nodded complacently. “Sure, I will help,” she offered.

Callie nodded and smiled at her, then picked up the heavy basket. Amara followed closely with the soft hides that they used to wash and dry the dishes, and she also grabbed the small wooden bowl of soaproot. They usually didn’t use it, but Amara was so used to having soap when she washed dishes that it had become a habit of hers. Besides, if they were going to be leaving before too long, it would be better for them to have clean dishes.

“Good, I’m glad you got that; we found some more down by the bank, and I wanted to gather it and add it to our store. I don’t know how much we’ll find along the way, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

Amara nodded in agreement. “Yes, it is always better to be prepared.”

When they arrived at the river, Callie squatted down and sat to work, and Amara sat down beside her. Thinking of nothing to talk about, they began washing the dishes in silence, and had just finished the last one when Callie suddenly stopped and sat back with a gasp.

“Amara, how long have you been here?” she asked.

Amara stopped to think. How long had she been with them? It had been at least a month, or a moon as they called it; she recalled seeing a full moon here before. “I believe I have been here a moon, maybe longer.”

Callie laughed out loud. “I don’t believe it!” she exclaimed.

Amara cocked her head in confusion. “You do not believe that I have been here this long?”

Callie shook her head, still laughing. “No, no, not that,” she said. Then she turned and looked at Amara, her eyes sparkling. “Perhaps it’s because you’re here,” she remarked.

Amara furrowed her brow. “What?” she asked, confused.

Callie threw her head back and laughed again. “I can’t believe it!” she cried again. She held her hand out to Amara. “Come on, let’s get back.”

Amara nodded, her brow still furrowed out of confusion. She thought fleetingly about the soaproot that Callie had mentioned, but then figured that they could return later and get it. She had to almost run to keep up with Callie.

The others were there at the cave when they returned. She and Callie rushed into the vicinity of the cave, faces flushed and breathing heavily.

“What’s wrong?” Radec demanded, worried.

“There’s nothing wrong, my mate!” she said, wrapping her arms around him.

“What’s this all about then?” he asked, still concerned.

Callie laughed. “I only just realized this, but Amara’s been with us for a little over a moon now.”

The others all nodded, each with questioning looks except Healie. Amara watched as Healie’s expression changed from confusion to comprehension, and a smile spread across her face.

“Callie,” Radec started, still confused.

She shushed him. “Well, you’ll all figure it out before long, so I might as well tell you now. I didn’t realize until I asked Amara how long she’d been here, what with all the excitement of her presence and all, that I haven’t had my moon time for over two moons.” She turned and smiled widely to Radec. “I’ve been blessed!”

Radec’s face lit up and he grabbed his mate by the waist and swung her around. He laughed loudly with her and Amara thought she even saw a tear.

Everyone seemed to be so excited and surprised about it…much more surprised than Amara expected, and she turned to Healie for some clarity.

“Amara, Callie has never been blessed. They’ve hoped and prayed for years that she would get pregnant, but she never did. Now all of a sudden, after she has been a woman and mated for several turns of the seasons, she’s blessed!” Healie explained.

Amara smiled, understanding. She was extremely excited for Callie; she knew of women back home that also tried for years to get pregnant but to no avail. She wondered briefly if she would be able to have children, but then the thought left as quickly as it came, in her excitement for Callie.

Radec put Callie down and finished nuzzling her neck. A concerned look washed over his face. “Callie, will travelling be okay? I mean, do we need to just stay here for a while longer?”

Callie shook her head. “No, I’ll be fine. Except for the expected morning sickness, it will be much easier for me to travel now than later.”

Healie nodded in agreement. “Between Callie and I, we know enough about healing to know what herbs and medicines will help to prevent the morning sickness. And the exercise journeying will provide will be good for her. The only thing,” she cautioned, “is that Callie probably should have a lighter load than she carried before, just to make it easier on her back.” Radec nodded. “And I believe that if we leave as soon as possible, it would be best, that way we can get as far as possible before she needs more rest.”

Radec nodded again. “Well, then, we will spend tomorrow packing everything up, and we will leave the morning after.” He looked around for agreement. “Does that sound okay with everyone?”

The party nodded in unison, everyone excited about the upcoming addition and about starting out on their journey again. Radec slipped his arm around his mate’s waist and kissed her, then they began walking toward the river, talking. Panec looked over at Amara, whose eyes were shining with excitement. When her eyes met him he melted; he only hoped that someday the Mother would choose to bless his beautiful woman with a child of her own, hopefully of his spirit. He didn’t want it to happen yet; she was so young and obviously not used to traveling great distances on foot, but he sent a silent prayer to the Mother nonetheless. He loved Amara more than words could say, and although she was breathtaking now, he could only imagine how much more beautiful she would be if pregnant. He walked over to her and enfolded her in his arms, kissing her hair.

“I love you, Amara,” he whispered.

She smiled and hugged him tightly. “I love you too,” she returned.

They looked at each other and kissed warmly and deeply, then he held her at arms’ length and smiled. “Do you think you’re ready to travel?”

Her whole body sparkled with the excitement. “Yes!” she cried.

He laughed at her innocent enthusiasm. “Well, then, how about we go figure out how and where we’re going to pack all your stuff?”

She nodded, and followed him into the cave, speechless with anticipation.

Amara sat on the ground surrounded by all her new hides and utensils. Panec had brought her a pack and she was starting to wonder how she was going to carry all the stuff she had acquired in such a short time. "Panec, it is not going to all fit in there. But I can't leave this, or anything. It is all new, and I might need it." She sighed heavily.

"Amara, we'll make it fit, I can take some too, in my pack. Why don't we take a break, let's get something to eat," he said, trying to calm her down. She was visibly distressed and he knew she needed to just relax.

She looked at Panec and sighed again. "Okay, but...well, if we are going to leave tomorrow, I have to have this all packed now. I can't be trying to figure it out tomorrow morn..."

"Amara, shhhh," Panec said as he put his hand over her mouth gently. "We'll figure it out, we just need to take a break," he said then he kissed her. He took her hand and led her away from the pile of belongings. As they passed the cooking hearth, he grabbed a handful of dried bison meat and a water skin. Then he smiled to Amara and started outside.

Amara wanted to protest, but she knew it would be of no use. She walked next to Panec and took a deep breath. She tried to relax, but she was getting nervous about the trip. It was more than carrying the pack that she was worried about. She was worried about being able to keep up. How far were they planning to go, really? What about running into strange people or, anything? She was filled with anxiety. Panec noticed her shoulders were hunched up and stopped.

"We're almost there Amara. I have a surprise for you," he smiled to her encouragingly. He knew she was worried, but he knew that he would take care of her, no matter what. Even if she didn't realize it, he wouldn't leave her side if she needed him, or anything. "Okay, Amara, sit down. Close your eyes, I'll be right back."

"Close my eyes? Why, Panec..." she protested.

"Just wait here, I'll be right back. It is a surprise," he grinned mischievously to her as he walked away.

Amara sat and closed her eyes. She waited a few minutes and when Panec didn't come back she laid down on the ground and looked up at the sky. The clouds raced across the sky. It wasn't windy down below, but the wind was blowing something up high. She wondered if it was another storm. One cloud looked like a dog, and then it changed and looked more like a butterfly. She felt the sun warm on her skin and felt her worries drain. Whatever happened she was with people who cared for her, friends, family, and she had Panec. As soon as she thought of Panec she heard footsteps behind her.

"Close your eyes," Panec said. Amara closed her eyes and smiled. She felt shade cross her face where Panec blocked the sun. "Now open your mouth, but keep your eyes closed."

"My mouth? What kind of surprise is this?" She laughed and she heard Panec chuckle as she opened her mouth halfway. He put something in her mouth and she slowly bit down. "Umm, that is delicious. Raspberry," she opened her eyes and smiled at Panec. He was holding a small basket full of the small ripe berries. "Where did you get those?" she smiled again.

"I found them yesterday down the river a ways. They are ripe early, but I thought, well, I wanted them for us, and there aren't that many, so I didn't say anything to anyone else. Plus it did you good to come outside, you’re smiling again!" Panec said warmly to Amara, who was reaching for more berries.

They made quick work of the raspberries, and laid on the ground again.

"Panec, thank you." she said as she turned to him.

" I love you Amara, I am going to take care of you, anything you need or want. Please don't worry about anything. I know this is all, so different for you, but please don't worry. Everything will be fine."

"I love you, Panec, I know you will be there, it is just, like you said, different, and hard sometimes."

"I know, I am getting hot, are you? You feel ready to go back to the packing?" Panec said, changing the subject.

Amara sighed, she wasn't ready at all, but she knew she had to do it, and she felt much better. "All right, let's go."

They walked back into the shade of the cave and felt cooler immediately. They walked back to the place were their belongings were spread out. Panec eyed her bag that she had brought with her. He wasn't sure what all was inside of it, and wondered if she was planning to bring it.

After their break, Amara felt much better and packing became easier. She fit most of her things in the pack, and a few of the bowls and utensils went into Panec's bag. She noticed Panec looking at her other bag. She still hadn't decided whether or not to leave it. She picked it up and held it.

"I don't know what to do with this," she finally said to him.

"Well, what is inside?" he said with curiosity. "I mean do you need it? It looks kind of heavy, I mean, well," Panec stumbled over his words. He wasn't sure what to say, and if he even really wanted to know what was in it. He had enjoyed the chocolate that she had shared, but that was gone. But the other thing he had seen. Her music maker, well, he wasn't sure about that. It seemed to capture the music inside, but he didn't know how. And it made him nervous.

"Well, I don't suppose I really need it, but, it is all I have left of home. But it is kind of heavy. I don't know. I haven't even really looked at some of those things in a long time." She looked at Panec, and then decided to just get it over with. She opened the bag and poured out the contents.

Panec's eyes went wide. He saw the music maker, and the rest he had no idea what it was. Amara had her camera, her watch, still with a good battery, her jeans, and a pair of sandals. In addition there was her compass, her Swiss army knife and a book. The empty toothpaste tube and the brush came out last. All of the food she had brought was gone, but she had her canteens still. One of them even had a little water left from home. She drank it quickly, enjoying the old but clean, filtered water. Then she put the canteen down.

Panec looked on in awe. She looked at her belongings and picked up her knife. She opened it to show Panec. "Look, this is a knife. I think I should bring it. It might be useful."

He touched the knife and then nodded. "Yes, that is true. Bring that. What about that?" he said as he pointed to her camera.

Amara held it, and thought to herself. What could I ever do with this? I can't ever develop the film, but can I just leave it? "I don't know, this, well, I guess I don’t need it, but I don't know where to leave it, what to do with it. I think I should bring my clothes though."

"We can just leave it in the cave. Yes, your clothes, they are so different, but clothes are good. But you have so many new things as well. But I guess they are like home for you," he said while trying to take it all in. He was amazed that she had disclosed all her belongings to him. Not everyone knew about where she had come from, and these things, well they could scare people. But he knew that she was a good person, and he loved her no matter what.

"Yeah, they remind me of home most." She quickly packed up her clothes, watch, knife, compass, book and the brush. She put the camera, CD player and toothpaste tube in another pile. "I guess I am leaving this here. I don't really need it, and it won't work anyway."

"You don't want to bring the music maker?" he asked, surprised.

"Well, it would be nice, but, it doesn't work anymore." She didn't know how to even begin to explain the batteries to him. It was just as easy to say it didn't work, because it didn't.

"Oh, I guess, well," he watched as she finished putting all her things in her new pack and close it up. "I guess that is it then, you're done packing Amara, see it wasn't so bad," he said, trying to be encouraging. But he was still a little shaken by her.

"Yeah, done. But where should I take these?" she pointed to the discarded camera and CD player. "I don’t think the others should see them."

"Let's take it to the back of the cave, we can bury it. Maybe one day we could come back for it too. If you wanted," he suggested.

"Good idea." She wondered what would happen 15 thousand years from now if some archaeologist found a CD player camera and toothpaste tube amongst the discarded pots, and bones of the prehistoric cave. That would be a puzzle and a half. But she couldn't really worry about that now. She was here, now. And the future was a long way away.

She worked quickly to bury those things and when she returned to Panec she opened her arms in a big hug. "Thanks for helping me Panec. I love you," she said, whispering in his ear.

"I love you too Amara." He smiled and held her closer. She was really his, and he was going to do his best to make her happy in this place where she was strange and mysterious but yet somehow fit right into place.

The day they were planning to leave dawned gray and rainy. Amara peeked out from below her newly cured furs. It was colder, she could tell, and it didn't look very inviting for traveling. She wondered what they would do. No one else seemed to be up yet so she snuggled back into the furs and against Panec. She heard him mumble as he put his arm around her waist again. She smiled and tried to go back to sleep.

After what seemed like forever and she hadn't been able to sleep a wink, Amara sat up in the furs. Her stomach was growling. She looked outside and noticed that it was raining steadily, and the water was dripping off the top ledge of the cave. The water formed little rivulets that ran inside towards the cooking fire ring. She picked up a basket where the water had collected and shook it. Drops of water splattered over the earthen floor. Amara looked at her toes. Her nails were getting long. She hadn't really noticed before, but now she felt like she had to cut them. She wasn't sure how they dealt with long toe nails. She sat down on the ground and ran her hands through her hair. It too was less than to her liking. It was matted and oily. To occupy herself while the others slept she started a small fire with the fire stone. She slapped them together and quickly had the small flames licking the dry tinder. As soon as she was sure the fire would stay she set a skin of water to boil, and looked for the basket of grains. She thought that everyone might enjoy warm cereal on such a dreary cold day.

While she looked for the grain she found a basket of dried apples. She grabbed one and munched on it, then thought to add some to the grain mash for variety. While the water and grains boiled she cut up the apples into small pieces, then added them to the boiling mixture. It reminded her of the way her mother made oatmeal, with apples and walnuts. If only she had some nuts to add to it. She walked back to the baskets of stored food and looked for nuts. She found some, but they weren't walnuts. She tasted one and decided it would work, though she didn't know what kind it was. She cut those up as well and added it to the grain, and then took the pot off the fire to cool and let the grains soak up the extra water.
She looked around the cave, everyone was still sleeping. She began to get anxious again and wondered why they didn't get up. She suddenly wished for her watch, maybe it was earlier than she thought. But it really didn't matter what time it was. They could stop and go when the pleased. There was no schedule to keep. She got up and walked to the cave entrance again. She stuck her hand outside to feel the rain. It was just sprinkling now and she decided to go outside. She walked not five feet from the cave and looked around. There was a heavy fog hanging over everything. She couldn't see the river, or even the outline of trees along it's bank. She watched as the mist swirled around her hand as she waved it through the air. She suddenly felt a moment of panic. This felt eerily similar to when she walked into the cave that transported her back. She spun quickly around and looked at the gaping cave mouth. It seemed just the same as before. She hesitated, looked back out into the gray fog, and then turned back for the cave. She wondered...then she saw Danug standing in the cave mouth. She sighed deeply, not sure to be relieved or disappointed. She wondered if she got the chance to go back, would she? Could she leave Panec behind to go home, could she? Maybe it would be like the twilight zone and she would get back home, and everyone would be 30 years older, and she would be totally out of place. She tried to forget and smiled to Danug.

"Good morning Amara, you're up early," he said cheerfully.

"I know, I...I couldn't sleep. Nice weather huh?" she said distracted.

"Yeah," he laughed sarcastically, "wonderful if you're a fish. What are you doing outside?"

"Well, I was just waiting for everyone to wake up, and I was bored, I came outside, and everything was covered in fog. I couldn't see anything." She looked behind her; the fog had dissipated. She saw the outlines of the trees and the dark clouds overhead. "It was so strange Danug, it felt so much like, when...I came here. I thought for a moment I was going back, home, to where I came from. But I looked back at the cave, and there you were. It was...I..." she said, somewhat distressed.

Danug looked at her pointedly. "Felt the same, but you're still here. Do you want to go back, Amara?"

"I don't...well, I don't know. I don't know if I can, if I could deal with it, leave all of this behind. Panec, and Healie and...well...everything. How could I go back? It was just scary, for a moment, I felt lost. Like in a dream." She looked at him pleading him to understand, "Don't tell anyone else, Danug, I know you understand, I don't even understand this, but..."

"I won't Amara, don't worry," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Let's go inside before you get much wetter. It is a little cold out too."

"Okay," she said as she looked at him and tried to smile, "Are you hungry? I made some food."

"You made food! Great! I am starving!! What is it?" he asked as they approached the hearth.

She opened the lid to the basket and a waft of steam with the aroma of apples reached his nose. "This is what I made. My mother used to make something like it in the mornings." She scooped out a bowl for Danug and herself and offered it to him. "Come on, let's eat."

"That sounds GREAT to me too!" Radec boomed behind her.

Amara jumped, startled. She turned to look at Radec. "Radec, you surprised me!"

Radec grinned to her, "I never sleep through the smell of good food."

"And you never let anyone else either, you oaf!" Callie added callously from their furs. Sure enough Radec's comment had awoken everyone else.

Amara chuckled to herself. She liked it here. She really did. She quickly handed a bowl of the grains to Radec and sat down next to Danug on the ground. Latie quickly followed. She smiled as she walked quickly by and outside.

When she returned from going to the bathroom, as Amara still called it, she snorted disgustedly, "Ugh! This weather is nasty. I hate it when it rains like this! And it is even worse once the sun comes out!"

Latie plopped down next to Amara and served herself a bowl of the grains. "This sure does smell good though. Radec was right. I am glad you got up early enough to make it, cause Radec never lets us make real food the morning when we are leaving. But it makes all the difference."

Amara smiled and laughed. Latie was funny, and she felt like a sister to Amara. Once again Amara felt the warmth of being accepted, of being a part of this group of friends, like a family. She thought to herself that she was glad she had stumbled her way into this life. She smiled especially warmly to Panec when he walked towards her.