Title: THE GIFT'S IN THE GIVING

Author: Imagine

Feedback: on list or imagine647@msn.com

Rating: R

Pairing: J/D

Category: Slash. First Time. Romance

Date: 23rd December 2005

Status: Complete

Season/Spoilers: Five / None

Archive: AlphaGate; Area 52; The Cartouche. Anyone else please ask.

Synopsis: When Daniel finally gets to spend Christmas with Jack - just who gets to enjoy the gift?

Notes: My thanks to Gateroller as usual for her excellent beta skills.

Warnings: None

The Gift's in the Giving

by Imagine

Daniel stood outside Jack's house with the freezing wind blowing around him but inside he felt warmed by possibility -- by hope. He was finally going to spend Christmas with Jack and if his plan worked out it would be the best Christmas ever. At last he knew what he wanted and this year he was going to give Jack a gift he would never forget; it would be a gift that Daniel intended to enjoy too. He smiled at the thought as he shifted his bag and the two small parcels he was carrying into his other hand so he could ring the doorbell.

This would be his fourth Christmas since returning to Earth but it would be the first one that Daniel had actually been in a position to celebrate. The first year it hadn't been long after Sha're had been taken and even though Jack had been kind enough to invite him to spend the holiday, Daniel had refused. He'd spent the day in his apartment holed up and studiously avoiding the holiday atmosphere.

The second year, the whole team had been off-world. However, they had been expecting to be home by Christmas Eve and this time Daniel had reluctantly accepted Jack's invitation to join him for Christmas dinner. He was reluctant because he didn't feel at all in the mood for festive joy, but Jack knew his moods and the man was quite happy to be his host anyway. As it turned out they never got any dinner at all as they were prisoners of a minor Goa'uld and Jack didn't need to be conciliatory to the bastard. They were home safe by New Years but were a little worse for wear and were in the infirmary until the third of January.

Last year Jack hadn't issued an invitation and Daniel hadn't expected one.

Daniel's musings were interrupted as the door finally opened.

Jack stood there, smiling, and Daniel's stomach lurched. "Sorry, Daniel, I was in the kitchen. Let me take your bag," Jack said relieving him of his holdall just leaving him to carry the two small Christmas-wrapped packages. "Come on in, you must be frozen. Why didn't you use your key?" Jack smiled over his shoulder as he led the way inside, putting Daniel's bag down in the hallway.

Daniel hesitated as he was putting the parcels on a side table. He had considered using his key but dismissed the idea as it had been well over a year since he has last used it and he didn't feel comfortable suddenly resorting to using it again. Jack's invitation to do so now was very welcome.

Jack took Daniel's coat and put it in the closet as his team archaeologist went to stand by the roaring fire to warm his hands.

"Surprisingly, I don't feel that cold," Daniel admitted, turning his back to the heat to smile at Jack. "I've been thinking about having one of your famous eggnogs. At least you told me they were famous, don't know anyone who's actually tasted one," Daniel grinned.

Jack snorted, "Make yourself comfortable and I'll get you one. I'll check on the progress of dinner too, won't be long."

Daniel watched him walk away and his thoughts drifted back to a year ago when all Jack ever seemed to be doing was walking away from him. Their friendship had been going through a particularly rough patch towards the end of last year and, except during missions, they were hardly speaking through most of December. Things got so bad that Hammond dragged them both into his office early in the New Year and told them if they couldn't get their act together he was more than willing to consider a transfer request from either of them. That shook Daniel to his core; he didn't know for certain what had gone wrong between him and Jack but he was honest enough to accept that the estrangement was probably as much his doing as it was Jack's because he was unusually caustic in his comments to his one-time best friend and he didn't seem to be able to stop himself.

It obviously shocked Jack too because he asked the general to give them time. He didn't explain what the problem was from his point of view, he simply told Hammond, with a glance at Daniel, that he didn't want to split up the team and that he was more then willing to work at getting things back the way they should be. At the general's query, Daniel had agreed that he too wanted to stay on SG1. He didn't say what was in his heart, that his team was his family, his home. That even with this...estrangement from Jack, the team was the only family he had.

Their sincerity convinced the general and he said he would give them another chance, but he would be watching and if he didn't believe the team was viable then he would make the decision for them.

Shaking his head at his unpleasant memories, Daniel moved over to the packages he had brought, carrying the two gifts to place under Jack's magnificent tree. He, Sam and Teal'c had helped Jack put up the tree and dress it the previous Saturday, Teal'c being particularly interested in the whys and wherefores of the holiday season. Jack was convinced that he already knew the answers to most of the questions he was asking and that it had just been another example of Jaffa humour.

The next day, Sunday, Jack had held a big party for all his friends from the SGC and most of the presents from under the tree had been given out well ahead of Christmas day itself as many of the personnel would be away for the Christmas period. Sam was spending the holiday season with her brother and his family while Teal'c was taking the opportunity to spend some time off-world with his family. The only gifts left under the tree were Jack's and Daniel's as they had decided to leave those until the twenty-fifth when they would be spending the day together. However, these two gifts were special, private, and Daniel hadn't wanted to put them under the tree until today.

"Here you go," Jack said coming back carrying two glasses. Handing one to Daniel he sipped from his own.

"So, do you need help with dinner?" Daniel asked, eyebrows rising in expectation. Jack was well known for his expertise with the barbecue but no one had ever experienced much of Jack's culinary skills beyond that.

"Nope, all under control," Jack said casually and as Daniel looked at him surprised, Jack met his gaze with a knowing look and Daniel frowned.

"What did you do, get advice from Janet?" Daniel asked with a laugh.

"I'll have you know I could teach her a thing or two about cooking poultry," Jack replied smugly.

"I'll give my expert opinion on that later," Daniel grinned.

They sat in mostly companionable silence for a while, enjoying their drinks and even more, appreciating each other's company. There was the odd comment about their friends and what they were doing for Christmas, and a minor disagreement on which was the best music to put on the CD player. Daniel had been a little surprised that Jack hadn't suggested switching on the TV.

Daniel made himself even more comfortable, sliding down in his seat and stretching his legs out, and from the corner of his eye he could watch Jack without making it too obvious he was doing just that. Unbidden, his thoughts slipped back to the beginning of the year when they had struggled to try to renew their friendship, at least enough to be able to work together again.

It hadn't been as easy as either of them hoped; it was hard to bring back that camaraderie they had once shared so easily. Most difficult of all for Daniel was that they no longer had that ease of communication when less was said with words than with glances, and their odd ability to sense what the other was thinking and feeling, something they’d shared from early in their friendship, seemed to have faded. Whereas the obvious solution would have been for the two men to sit down together and talk, that seemed to be the last thing Jack was able to do.

Yet somehow they had gradually made progress and quickly enough on the work front that Hammond was satisfied for the team to remain intact. However they might work together well enough for others' satisfaction, to Daniel that spark that he had always enjoyed so much was missing. Jack was polite, friendly, at his most proficient as a C.O., but there was a distance between them for a time that Daniel found difficult to understand. Eventually even that seemed to fade, so gradually that Daniel wasn't consciously aware of it at first. Then, the time came when Jack began to invite him back into his home again, just Daniel on his own without his team-mates, something Jack hadn't done in over a year and Daniel felt that whatever demons had been driving him, Jack had finally got them under his control.

During this time Daniel was fighting with his own demons, as he slowly came to terms with the source of his problem. He found it hard to comprehend why it had taken him so long to see what was going on, but then they say 'there is none so blind as he who will not see'. Daniel had refused to see that his friendship with Jack had grown beyond what he thought it was and the unconscious knowledge had driven him to push his friend away when it ought to have drawn him closer. Once he recognised the truth it became easier, not for his own peace of mind, though as it was true as he had to ruthlessly control his feelings, but knowing the truth somehow freed him to be able to do just that, while he worked out what on earth he could do to sort out the situation with Jack.

Now almost a year later their friendship was stronger than it had ever been and when Jack had once again issued an invitation to spend Christmas with him, Daniel had jumped at the chance. Jack had told him that this year they would make it, they would finally spend Christmas together, just the two of them; he had told Hammond that if an emergency reared its ugly head he had better send SG2 'cause SG1 was out of commission. Daniel had grinned and Jack had simply shrugged.

"Want another drink? Something stronger maybe?" Jack queried, bringing Daniel back to the present and getting to his feet when Daniel nodded agreement. As he passed the tree, Jack smilingly asked, "You put more gifts under the tree, Daniel?"

"Yeah, just a couple of small ones, they're...special."

"Special?"

"Yeah, for you," Daniel smiled, warmth flowing through him. He knew Jack would like them, he just knew it; he wouldn't consider any other outcome. He'd finally worked out what he needed to do to fix what had been wrong between them last year -- it was the only way to ever stop it happening again he believed -- and he wanted to show Jack that it was all right, that everything was going to be just fine.

"For me? Special?" Jack looked confused, then his face lightened. "This isn't some way of saying thanks for today is it? I already told you that just being here is..."

"No, Jack. It's just...." Daniel hesitated before realising that honesty was indeed the best policy. "I didn't know for sure that you wouldn't want to give out some of our gifts when the others were here and I wanted to give you these when we were alone."

Jack looked at him, a query in his eyes. "Sure, okay. You got me really curious now. Let me get the drinks and then we can open the gifts," Jack added.

Butterflies suddenly took up residence in Daniel's stomach and all his confidence fled. What possessed him to think that he knew what was going on inside that head of Jack's; the man had always kept so much of himself hidden. The persona he showed the world was decidedly less complicated than the real man underneath. Daniel panicked but couldn't think what to do. Then he remembered the look on Jack's face that day in the temple on P4J when he thought Daniel couldn't see him and he knew he was correct. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Well, we did decide to open them before dinner and I guess we've waited long enough."

"Sweet," Jack grinned getting to his feet.

Not long afterwards the room was littered with a myriad of torn paper as each man opened his presents from under the tree. There were many gifts from their friends, besides those from the men themselves. They had each bought the other lots of small gifts rather than one large one and they had been touched by the serious ones and laughed together over the amusing ones. Until finally there were only the two recent additions that Daniel had brought.

Quietly Daniel said, "Open the larger one first, Jack."

Jack glanced back at him. "Okaaay," he grinned. "Better not be anything too expensive though," he added a little uncomfortably.

"No, they have little intrinsic value..." Daniel's voice faded and Jack glanced at him again, a slight frown between his eyes.

Slowly Jack opened the first package. Inside he found a small rectangle of polished wood, with something carved into its surface. Jack glanced up at Daniel to find the other man watching him intently. Jack looked down at the carving again, studying it from every angle. He said slowly, "I know you, Daniel, you wouldn't give me this unless this design had a special meaning."

Daniel said nothing, just waiting, breathing slowly. He couldn't prompt Jack; he needed to work it out for himself.

"You carved this yourself?" Jack asked thoughtfully.

"Yes," Daniel replied softly.

Turning it slowly in his hands again, Jack studied it until his brow cleared. "I remember it now," he said, his eyes still on the wooden plaque. "It took me a while to recognise it; it was a few weeks ago now. On P4J something-or-other."

Daniel sighed, nodding. "P4J 313, the priest showed it to us."

"Yeah, and it was so special that you weren't allowed to photograph it. Only you and I saw this...pictograph?" Jack glanced at Daniel to confirm he used the right word and when Daniel nodded, Jack continued, "Because it was sacred. It was always created -- painted, drawn, carved -- by one person to give to their beloved, to signify the sacred bond between one person and another." He stared at the symbol in his hands and then added softly, "Kinda like a wedding band."

Daniel was delighted that Jack had remembered so well. He could recall every minute of that afternoon. Sam and Teal'c had been busy elsewhere and Jack had accompanied him when he went to visit the temple with the priest. It wasn't a particularly interesting temple compared to some he had seen but it was inside that rather small dark place that he had accepted what he would really like to happen between Jack and him. He had so thoroughly buried his feelings during the last few months for fear of destroying their newly recreated friendship that he hadn't even considered other possibilities; hadn't thought about Jack's feelings, not properly until that day in the alien temple.

He just hoped that Jack recognised what he was trying to say, how sincere he was and that he wanted something tangible between them, a permanent declaration. Now, he fervently wished that Jack would reciprocate; that he wasn't imprinting his own desires onto how he interpreted Jack's reactions to him.

Daniel waited nervously for Jack to speak but for a long minute he didn't say anything. Finally, he looked at Daniel again. "You made this for me? You mean it?"

"Yes," Daniel replied in a low voice, a little surprised it came out as more than a croak.

Jack just placed the small slab of wood on the table next to him as he reached for the second gift. This one was very small, very slim and Jack turned it over and over in his hands as if looking for something before carefully slitting open the wrapping paper with one finger. Inside he found only a folded sheet of thick writing paper.

As Jack looked up from the paper to meet his gaze, Daniel's heart was trapped somewhere in his throat. Everything rested on these next few seconds. Jack's eyes dropped from his to regard the carving again and then the lines written on the single sheet of paper, and he proceeded to read aloud the words that Daniel had written:

This is a way to tell you how I feel,

A way you can keep only if you wish

There is a way to show you how I feel,

If you'll let me love you as I wish.

A way you can keep only in your heart,

As I will keep it only in my heart.

Daniel met his gaze squarely, his cards were all on the table now; it was up to Jack if he wanted to pick them up.

Jack turned away and Daniel's stomach clenched. Had he been so wrong?

Then Daniel realised that Jack was writing something. After a minute or so, Jack turned back and handed him the sheet of paper; he had written something on the other side.

Daniel took the paper, grateful that his hand was steady. He looked quickly at Jack but the other man's eyes were averted. That didn't bode well and with a deep breath Daniel looked at the paper, gasping at what he saw. Jack had drawn a pretty good representation of the bonding symbol from P4J 313, and below he had written just two words, "Show me."

Not needing to be asked twice, Daniel closed the space between them. Jack was watching him now, a rueful smile on his face. Daniel lifted his hands and placed them on Jack's shoulders, sliding them around his neck to slowly draw him forward. Eyes locked together their lips met, gently at first, until with growing confidence and building passion they grasped each other tightly, their bodies melding together. Mouths opened and tongues tangling, they sought to taste each other.

Finally they broke gasping for air. "Oh god, Daniel," Jack breathed, leaning against him, forehead to forehead. Staring into his eyes, Jack continued, "I never realised you felt like this. If only I'd realised...I fought so hard against it, so hard against myself that I never even considered you might feel the same way about me. You must have suspected, or you would never have…" he hesitated, pulling back slightly to study Daniel's face. "Then again, perhaps you would. You're the bravest man I ever met, Daniel so maybe you would just take such a tremendous risk just on faith."

Daniel smiled at his...lover, he smiled even more at that thought. "Not so brave, Jack. I have suspected for a while, hoped for even longer. I began to really believe it was possible in the small temple on PJ4."

"In the temple, why?" Jack asked, his hands stroking sensuously up and down Daniel's back as the younger man leaned against him, one hand still cradling Jack's neck, his fingers unconsciously sliding through the hair at Jack's nape.

"When the priest was explaining about the symbol to me and you were standing behind me, I could see you clearly reflected in the burnished metal that edged the back of the altar. I saw you looking at me while the priest was speaking about the sacred bonding. It was very intense, that look you gave me; it was also very telling. There was a...hunger in your eyes that you'd never let me see if you'd known I was watching. I had seen it before but it wasn't until that moment that I realised what I was seeing. Need. You desired me as much as I desired you."

"Oh god, I hope that's true," Jack murmured, kissing Daniel's jaw.

"What?" Daniel asked distractedly, trying to keep his mind on the words rather than Jack's touch but it was so difficult. He'd imagined Jack kissing him, caressing him like this but this time it was no dream.

"That you desire me as much as I desire you," Jack said huskily. "Gonna show me now?"

"Here or in your bed?"

"God, Daniel!" Jack sucked in a breath. Then a grin split his face. "How about both? You show me here..."

"...And you show me in your bed?"

"Merry Christmas, Daniel!" Jack declared with feeling and Daniel just laughed with joy. After all, they were both about to receive their gifts.

Fin!