Title: MY SOUL WEEPS

Author: Imagine

Feedback: on list or imagine647@msn.com

Rating: R

Pairing: J/D

Category: Pre-slash. POV. Angst. Horror.

Date: 14 June 2005

Status: Complete

Season/Spoilers: Five. None.

Archive: AlphaGate; Area 52; The Cartouche. Anyone else please ask.

Synopsis: Jack and Daniel face their worst nightmare

Notes: This isn't my usual fare but this scenario has been plaguing me for some time, it seems all too possible, and the only way I can get some peace is to write it.

Thanks to my Beta, Gateroller, for her unflagging support.

Warnings: Violence, Character death.

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MY SOUL WEEPS

by Imagine

Well, here we go again. Hopefully this will be a simple mission, plenty of interesting minerals to keep Carter happy and an even more intriguing Ancient mystery to, at least temporarily, put Daniel in seventh heaven.

"Okay, kids, you know the routine." I don't really need to say anything. Teal'c is already taking point. Carter has her doohickey out preparing to take readings and Daniel is checking the DHD for the return address. Me, I'm supervising, watching their six; keeping my eye on things. Okay the thing I'm presently keeping my eye on is Daniel's six but you can't blame me for that, it's one hot six.

As expected the place seems deserted. MALP and UVA readings show no life signs, nor any energy readings anywhere within range. We make camp not far from the ruined city with the Ancient writings that Daniel is salivating to explore and, as we still have a good few hours of daylight left, I decide to accede to both Carter and Daniel's requests to have a quick look round.

As usual I send Teal'c to keep an eye on Carter and give her whatever help she needs, while I accompany Daniel to the outskirts of the city. There's a large building nearby that had once been a gateway that Daniel wants to take a look at. I stand a few metres away, in a position from where I can keep him in view and survey our surroundings at the same time.

We've got three days on the planet, more than enough for Carter to take all the readings she wants, though I knew sometime before we were due to leave Daniel would complain that his research needs more time. Daniel never has enough time to indulge in his archaeological needs and I regret that, but I have to follow mission protocols. Of course, Daniel knows this but he isn't averse to pushing my buttons and after five years on the same team he knows which buttons to press to try to get extra time, though to be fair, he only uses them when he feels it's really important. Daniel has learned the hard lesson after a few too many disappointments that his speciality doesn't carry much weight with the powers that be in Washington. Doesn't seem to matter that without him we wouldn't have had a programme, or how many times Daniel's expertise has proved its worth, they still dismiss him as just a geek and a troublesome one at that. One of these days...

"Jack!" Daniel's shout brings me back to the here and now and I turn to see what he wants this time.

"Yep?" I yell, making my way towards him. Don't need to say anymore for him to know that I want an explanation, anymore than he needs to do anything other than call my name in that certain tone for me to know he's found something.

"There's something odd here," he says. "This writing isn't right, it's as if..."

He never finishes the sentence because there's the distinct sound of rings forming behind us and together we swing towards it, my P90 already rising to meet whatever threat we're facing. That's when we discover that the rings aren't our only problem, as Jaffa appear from behind just about every ruined wall and column, pointing staffs and zats at us. So much for our Intel. Never do get the chance to see who's materialising inside the rings, as one of the Jaffa shoots me with a zat even as I begin to open fire and I feel the all too familiar shock of fire dancing along my nerves before the ground comes up to meet me.

~~

As I slowly come to I know immediately what’s happened. Well, no that isn't accurate, I know that I'm coming round from being zatted, the feeling is quite unmistakable and I've suffered from it enough times to recognise the symptoms. What I can't yet remember is how I came to be zatted. I open my eyes, slowly to get accustomed to the light and wished I hadn't. I recognise the decor. Goa'uld. It's then that I remember, the rings, being surrounded and turning to look at Jack for direction...Jack!

Quickly I scan the cell I'm in and soon see another huddled lump on the other side of the room. I crawl over to him, knowing it's Jack – the muttering is definitely Jack on a bad day. And this is definitely a bad day.

"Jack?" I say, touching his shoulder gingerly. He turns over towards me, blinking owlishly as he tries to bring me into focus. Getting zatted tends to play havoc with the eyesight for a minute or so when you first wake up.

"Daniel? You okay?"

"Yeah, just the usual. Got captured by the local Goa'uld and thrown into a cell. You?"

"Just waiting till I see the snake to give him a piece of my mind about his hospitality."

I smile; it's good to hear the snarkiness. Not that I'll ever tell him, but I love it when Jack's like this. God, I love Jack just about any damned way he wants to be.

Just then we hear the familiar clanking march of several Jaffa coming down the corridor and as they pass we can see them through the opaque material that forms the door to our cell. Everywhere else is the ubiquitous gaudy gold. There are four Jaffa carrying staff weapons marching with two others at their centre. It doesn't take a genius to recognise the forms of Sam and Teal'c. Damn, I had hoped they'd gotten away and were presently arranging our rescue.

I glance at Jack; the same thoughts clear on his countenance. He shrugs and I smile. What else should I expect? This is SG1 for crying out loud. Ah, channelling Jack even with the man in the room with me!

"Did you get a look at the tattoo? Know which snake we're dealing with?" Jack asks.

"No, but I didn't have time for a really good look," I grimace. "I was about to tell you when we got caught, the writing was fake and not particularly well done. The MALP couldn't get close enough for detailed pictures but the form looked enough like Ancient to grab my attention."

"So you think it was a set-up, a trap?"

"I guess. Wonder if Sam found anything or if that was faked too?"

"Crap!"

Jack is angry with himself as if somehow he's failed, let us down but there's nothing he could have done. They had somehow fooled both the MALP and the UAV, masking both their presence and that of their equipment. I'm sure if we are in a base on the planet's surface though, the energy from such a structure should have registered. Or, of course, we could be on board a ship, either way we could be on the surface or still in orbit.

"Must have caught Sam and Teal'c unawares too," I remind him, not that I expect that to carry any weight with him. Jack relentlessly blames himself for any failures and he claims I have a guilt complex!

~~

I know what he's doing of course; this is Daniel all over. Always trying to see the best in everything, even in the mistakes I make. He's trying to say that if Teal'c could get caught out then anyone can and it isn't my fault. I love him for it, trying to make me feel better but the truth is it is my responsibility, not Teal'c's, mine. I shouldn't have been so complacent, trusting the equipment. I should have ordered a thorough sweep of the area before doing anything else. I wanted everything to be good, I wanted Daniel to have three days of peace to really enjoy being an archaeologist, was even planning to swing a fourth day for him. I sat back on my laurels, putting my trust in science, dammit! All because I wanted to give Daniel a very small present and instead I've handed him gift-wrapped to a damn snake.

I can admit to myself that in all likelihood we might have been captured anyway because whatever snake set this trap didn't intend for us to escape his grasp -- assuming it's aimed at SG1 and not just any SG team who happen to answer the siren of a possible Ancient world. But it still doesn't excuse my bad judgement.

"I'm sorry, Danny," I say. I didn't mean to say it out loud, knowing he'll dismiss it anyway.

"Stop it, Jack, this is not your fault and I won't have you taking blame. This was a trap, probably aimed at us. No matter what we’d try to do, they wouldn't have let us get away."

There ya go, I knew it. "Yeah, but I didn't have to make it so damned easy for them," I grouse. It's wrong of me, I know, but I'm glad to hear him say he doesn't blame me, thinking he won't is one thing but actually hearing him say it...

"Guess it will be the usual, questions, torture, wait for the rescue," he calmly says. "How long do you suppose until Hammond sends in the marines?"

He threw the words at me like they mean nothing but he knows as well as I do that it wouldn't be until we miss the second check-in next morning before Hammond will be concerned enough to consider a rescue. Even then, if he found the Gate as heavily guarded as I expect it to be, he'll need to consult the Pentagon before authorising a full-scale rescue mission. I don't like the odds. Our motto may be that we don't leave our people behind but the decision isn't always in our hands.

In those very long hours we could suffer a lot at the hands of a determined Goa'uld.

Maybe the snake read my mind because a minute later the cell door opens and there are half a dozen armed Jaffa out there, headed by a bull of man who dwarfs even Teal'c. He has a golden tattoo so he's obviously the First Prime.

"Out now," he demands, his voice low but threatening.

I look at Daniel and indicate we should obey and he walks slowly toward the entrance and we exit together. Once in the corridor I see Teal'c and Carter under guard by two more armed Jaffa; we only manage to share a quick glance but it's enough. The First Prime herds us together in the centre of his men and then marches us along. It's all so familiar, just like any other Goa'uld area -- palace or ship it's all the same. No taste and no imagination.

Before long we're shoved into what I guess is the throne room. We're forced to our knees - original eh? My knees are soon yelling at me to get up but I tell 'em to shut up. I think Daniel guesses I am uncomfortable because he suddenly turns to look at me but his expression is closed. Good boy, I'd taught him never to let them see any sign of concern for his fellow prisoners. I lift my head and stare straight ahead, just in time to see the Goa'uld enter. It is a she, dressed in black with dark eyes and long straight blue-black hair. Naturally, she's a looker; no snake ever chooses any other kind of host.

She struts for a few seconds, swirling her cloak behind her as if it has some meaning, all it does is disturb the dust and makes Daniel sneeze. Of course, that draws her attention to him, as if he needs any help to get noticed. Thankfully, though she just stares at him as if annoyed that he dares interrupt her show.

Next we get the little speech, about how she's a goddess called Basset or some such and we are less than dirt under her feet, yadda, yadda, yadda. I yawn I'm so bored.

She comes and stands directly in front of me. "You would be O'Neill," she says with a distinct purr and a sly smile. "I have heard much of you and your team. You have a price on your heads; did you know that? Some of my counterparts have cause to fear you, but you will help cement my place among the System Lords -- when I conquer your puny planet and prove I have succeeded where so many have failed."

"Oh, you mean like Ra, Hathor, Seth, Sokar and Apophis -- twice, I think. You wanna join the list?"

I expect her to be mad at me, instead she just laughs. "You are just as described. It will be delicious to conquer you and make you help me take your world."

"Go to hell," I tell her, not even bothering to sound angry, I just sound weary. I'm quite pleased with myself.

"No matter," she shrugs, walking along the line and stopping before each of the others in turn, staring at them. Why, oh why, does she have to stare at Daniel the longest? Fuck!

She backs off and gives another little speech, telling us she'll give us some time to think about matters, making sure to inform us that there's no way to escape -- I note she didn't even bother to tell us exactly where we are, on the planet or on board ship. Yes, I decide this one is smarter, less inclined to boast and give away possibly important information. She tells us she will question us shortly. She made sure to put specific emphasis on 'question' as if we need the hint.

She saunters away and we are dragged to our feet and marched back to our cell, and presumably Carter and Teal'c are together in another one, maybe next door for all I know.

Daniel and I sit on the floor again, side by side, saying nothing for a while. Then he speaks.

"Bastet seemed quite sure of herself."

"Bastet? Thought she said Basset, wondered for a moment if she was the goddess of dogs or something."

Daniel smiles at my poor attempt at humour. "Cats, actually, she is the cat goddess."

"Thought that was Hathor"

He sighs now. "No, Jack, as you know very well she was the cow goddess." After a pause during which I'm trying to think of something useful to say, he says, quite intensely, "Jack, we need to keep her on the edge until Hammond has time to organise something. He will get us out somehow."

"Daniel," I don't want to say this but it won't help in the long run if he's fooling himself. We're in trouble and we have to face the fact. "Even if Hammond can get approval for a rescue mission, we don't know where we are. If we are on the planet we couldn't detect a base and we could be on a ship, either cloaked or in space. We can't rely on anyone; we have to get ourselves of this somehow."

I must give away more than I intend, by the tone of my voice or in my expression because Daniel suddenly moves closer to me, so close that for a moment I think he's going to take me in his arms and I think I stop breathing... Instead he looks directly into my eyes and says, "Don't worry Jack, as long as we're together we can cope with anything."

I know he's talking about the team but he’s so close, and his eyes so trusting that I let myself believe he means just the two of us. I nod in agreement.

Then he smiles and there is so much affection in his eyes that I can't help but reach out to touch him when suddenly the moment is shattered by the sound of marching Jaffa. My move aborted, we look at each other one more second then we turn towards the door.

~~

I see the look on Jack's face. A flash of shock that I'm virtually in his personal space, then his expression softens and he moves, reaching for me and for a moment I think -- god I hope -- he's going to kiss me. Then it's gone. Frustrated I hold back a sigh and turn to the opening door instead. Four Jaffa stand there, each as big as Teal'c, carrying staff weapons.

One steps forward and pointing at Jack, orders, "Come, our goddess, the Lady Bastet would speak with you now." As he says the word 'speak' the man's mouth twists into a sneer giving the lie to the polite word.

Jack sneers back and quips, "Oh she can speak all she likes, I'm a pretty good listener." Then without a backward glance at me, he blithely walks through the knot of Jaffa as if he was leading them not being taken as a prisoner.

I try to sit quietly waiting but my nerves won't allow that. Suddenly remembering Sam and Teal'c are nearby, I call out but instead of one of them answering a guard snarls at me through the closed door. I'm not allowed to talk to any of the other prisoners.

Having nothing else to occupy my mind so I won't slowly lose it, I pace the small cell. Back and forth, back and forth, then changing direction I repeat the action, back and forth, back and forth. God, Jack, what's happening, why did they have to take you alone?

That's one thing about torture. It's terrible to watch someone being hurt, especially someone you care about. Yet, it's worse to imagine what may be happening to them. It's true that your imagination can be worse than any torture another can inflict on you. I would so much rather be with Jack, knowing what he's going through and giving what support I can. I remember one time when it was me being beaten and Jack was on his knees being forced to watch. The snake thought to break us by making us watch our team-mates being tortured, what he didn't understand was the strength each of us gave the other, just being there. Looking into Jack's eyes couldn't stop the strap from falling but it helped me to bear the pain. I want to be able to do the same for Jack. Perhaps this bitch is cleverer than the other arrogant bastards; she does seem more in control of herself.

At last I hear the Jaffa returning and this time I'm glad, they should be bringing Jack back. Maybe they'll take me next but at least I'll get to see him first.

No dammit! They walk right past my cell; move further down the corridor. So, they're not bringing Jack back to me. Either they're just passing on their way god knows where or they're going for another prisoner, Sam or Teal'c. They stop and I try to listen, to work out what's going on and then I hear it, Teal'c's deep voice. Teal'c. I listen as they return and as they pass my cell, I call out.

"Teal'c, they've already taken Jack." I don't know what good I think it'll do to tell him but somehow I need to let him know.

"I understand, do not fear, my friend." That's all he can say before I hear a thud and the raised voice of a Jaffa. I almost laugh at the idea that they think a blow and a sharp word will keep Teal'c silent. I could imagine the lecture they would presently be getting on false gods and free Jaffa.

I hope they take him to see Jack. I fear what may have happened to him in that they haven’t brought him back to our cell. He could still be with that bitch of a Goa'uld, or maybe they've moved him to a different cell not wanting to put him back with me, as I've not yet had the pleasure of her company.

What I'm really afraid of is that they kill the stubborn bastard because no way will he give in and tell her anything, unless it's a mouthful of his usual snarky wit. Guiltily I can't help but hope she has a sarcophagus - yet isn't that just going to prolong his torture -- our torture? Was it better to hope for that infernal machine to buy us time in case a rescue is forthcoming, or pray she doesn't have one to indefinitely prolong the torture until we finally break under the interminable pressure?

God how long has it been since they took Jack? It seems hours since Teal'c was taken. Wait, what was that? They are coming back again, god I hope.... I wait but again they walk past my cell. Sam? I wonder and sure enough a few minutes later I hear her as she calls out that it's her turn now.

"Hang on, Daniel, it'll be fine." I hear her voice fading away as she turns the corner at the end of the corridor. I'm trying hard to do just that, hang on to my hope, but it's not easy being left in the dark the way I am.

~~

I must have fallen asleep. I can hardly believe that I was able to do so but I obviously had and now I have a head that feels full of cotton wool. I have no idea how much time has passed. I have no wristwatch and without windows or anything I have no points of reference. I'm filled with guilt that I could so easily fall asleep when someone I care about so much is... I sigh knowing what Jack would say if he was here. He'd shake his head and tell me that I'm too hard on myself that I'm only human and ought to stop trying to take the weight of the world on my shoulders. I can hear him saying it in that half-snarky, half-serious tone of his -- damn I wish I could really hear his voice.

They're coming again, one thing about the Jaffa; they can't sneak up on you. It has to be my turn, there's no one else left. So, I'm shocked when the door opens and Jack half-stumbles, is half-pushed inside. I leap up and manage to catch him before he hits the floor.

"Jack, oh god, Jack are you all right?"

"Me?" he sounds odd, bitter perhaps but that's not really a surprise. "Been better, but yeah, I'm in one piece."

I can't see any obvious signs of damage but he seems stiff and uncomfortable. "What happened, I mean what did she do to you?"

"It's okay," he says with an attempt at a smile but it falls flat when it morphs into a grimace. "She did a number on me with the healing device; not fixed me properly, not the way a sarc would, but she took care of most of the serious physical stuff."

I can't help but think I'm missing something. There's none of that bravado he usually carries like an aura surrounding him. He won't have given anything up, he'd have died first but he just said she didn't use a sarcophagus, why do I feel so unsettled?

"Jack, talk to me, what is it?"

He turns to me then, looking at me and I really see his eyes for the first time and they are full of pain. I don't think I've ever seen him look so...so lost.

"Jack?" I'm afraid of the answer; I think I already know.

"I wouldn't tell her, I couldn't, you know that Danny," he asks plaintively. I nod, of course I know. "She tried everything but I kept telling her to go to hell, or to fuck off. You know? She got frustrated with me and used her ribbon device on me. Thought my skull was gonna explode. Suddenly she stopped and said something in Goa'uld and someone gave her the healing device and she used it on me. Had a couple of Jaffa drag me to my feet and they held me between them. I couldn't move Daniel, I couldn't fucking move." He drops his head and gulps in air; I think to keep the tears at bay. I grab his shoulder and squeeze but he shakes me off.

"They brought Teal'c in then, they had chains on him. She said," he gulps in more air, swallowing harshly. "Bastet said I had one chance to answer her questions or she would kill Teal'c. Do not, he said. Just that, do not. I stared at him and he met my gaze, you know in that direct way of his? Then he calmly turned away and told her that none of us would speak. She looked at me and I just shook my head. She did it herself, just waved away the guards and almost casually as if it didn't really matter, she lifted her ribbon device and aimed it his head. After a few moments Teal'c fell to his knees and she looked at me for a moment then with a smile she increased the power until... He's gone Daniel, just like that. He's gone."

I stare at him, open mouthed, my mind numb as he sat there, head bowed. I can't think of anything to say. I’d already guessed something like that must have happened but to hear him say the words. Teal'c is dead. I'll never see him again. Oh, god, it can't be real, it can't.

Suddenly I find my voice, but the words are only useless platitudes. He lifts his head, interrupts me to say slowly, but clearly. "That isn't all, Danny."

I close my eyes, I don't want to know but I have to. I open them again to try and show him that I understand.

Jack describes how they brought Sam in, how after seeing him she looked around for Teal'c. How he couldn't tell her what had happened, he didn't have the heart.

Speaking in a voice that's so cold it's lifeless, he continues. "The Jaffa were holding me even tighter this time, like bands of steel on my arms. I screamed at her, the bitch, to leave Carter alone. Carter understood what she was facing and she turned to Bastet and told her that no matter what she did, what she threatened, that we would never betray our world. Right at the end, for the last few words she turned to me and I knew that last bit was for me. She was telling me to do whatever I must to protect her family, her friends, her people. She was telling me to let her die. My demands to Bastet stilled on my lips, all I could do was stare at Carter, my friend. For that's what she was Danny. And I let them kill her. I was trapped like an insect in amber, forced to watch while Carter died."

Jack looks up at me then and I see something else in his eyes now and it takes me a second to recognise it. The hope for understanding, the need for absolution.

I do indeed understand but I also know there isn’t anything I could say that will sooth Jack's feelings of culpability in the deaths of our friends. It doesn't matter that Bastet pulled the trigger, Jack felt he could have stopped with just one word, a word he didn't say. Words will be of no use at all so I do the only thing I can. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close, stroking my hands up and down his back. After a while, he relaxes against me.

I think I hear something, it may be my imagination but I know the time will come. I don't know how long it has been since they brought him back to me but I know it's only a temporary respite. I realise it's also a subtle cruelty, bringing him to me when I'm going to be the next victim.

I hold him tighter still as I say to him, "I think they're coming again, Jack." He lifts his head and stares at me, his beautiful eyes full of pain. I steel myself to continue, "You can't tell them, Jack. No matter what."

He pulls back, dropping his eyes. "Not sure if I can watch you die too, Danny," he says dejectedly.

"You must! Don't let them use me to invade our world."

Jack nods sadly.

I was right that the time would come but to my surprise they just take Jack again and as they drag him out he keeps his eyes on me.

~~

I wait for them to come for me. I'm surprisingly calm considering I'm about to die. Don't know why I'm not climbing the walls or screaming and yelling. I try to think about the good times in my life. My time on Abydos with Sha're, but all I seem to remember is the day that Jack came back for me and she was taken away. I feel guilty that I don't think of that as the end of something but as the beginning. How crazy? -- how selfish is that? Everything in my life now seems to be linked with Jack, the person who came to mean everything in my life. I loved Sha're but not with the all-consuming passion that life became in Jack's company. My life seemed to begin because of him and now it's going to end because of him. Symmetry I guess. All my sympathy lay with him because he's going to have to live with the pain of this day. I wish I knew a way to ease his burden. I'd almost told him how I feel about him as I held him a few minutes earlier but I decided that would only add to his burden not ease it, so I kept my secret locked in my heart where it has been for the last five years.

Suddenly the cell door opens but to my surprise it isn't the Jaffa back for me. It's a young woman and she slips inside closing the door.

"Quickly you must get out of here before they come for you."

I stare at her, not able to take in what she's saying. "What? Who are you?"

"It doesn't matter. Like your friends I know she is not a god. There are others like me too. We won't give in. We don't have time, you must go now." She turns back to the door, opening it.

"Go, go where? I don't even know where I am!"

"You are in Bastet's stronghold under the ruin they tempted you with."

I'm confused, can hardly believe this is really happening. And why now? Why not before when the others... I can't think like that, hardly have time to think at all. I do the only thing I can; I follow her.

She hurries down the corridor looking around constantly before turning down another hallway, this one even narrower and darker than where our cell is. By now she's almost running and even with my longer legs I'm pushed to keep up. We come to a steep flight of steps and at the top she halts by a narrow door where she whispers that once out there I'm on my own.

"The chappa'ai is directly west from here. Be careful of patrols. I'm sorry I cannot offer more help but I will be missed soon."

She opens the door and almost shoves me outside. It's only when I am outside that I realise Jack is still in there. What the hell will Bastet do to him when she discovers I'm missing?

I'm in two minds. Shall I take the girl's advice and head for the Gate? Ought I try to get back inside to get Jack out? The second option is obviously what I would like to do but I know I could never do that on my own. I need help, which means the SGC. So I decide to head for the Gate and hope I can contact Hammond.

~~

This is impossible. I have been walking for over an hour and I have hardly gone half a mile. I constantly switch direction and have to hide. It's a miracle I haven't been re-captured. The area is swarming with Jaffa -- searching for me I assume -- and the Gate might as well be a hundred miles away. Even if I can reach it, it'll be impossible for me to simply walk up to the DHD, dial and get a message to Hammond. Damn! A GDO, I don't have one. That's it then.

I have to face facts; I can't get help. I'm on my own. Jack's only hope lies with me. I'm not too worried about Earth. Looking at the sky it must be over twenty-four hours since we were captured and that means we’ve missed three check-ins. If Hammond follows procedure and sends another MALP and still couldn't contact us, he would consider a rescue. I know, of course, that Jack is right about Hammond's options being limited but the very least he will do is lock out our codes and protect the base that way.

So I'm left with only one viable option, to go back and try to help Jack. I'm pretty sure that she will keep him alive to try to force the information from him. She would expect to re-capture me I know, so at least for the time being Jack is safe. Safe, god what is wrong with me? I have to get him out of there, somehow.

I make my way back to the door I escaped from, hoping it isn't locked. Relief floods through me when it easily opens. I slip inside to find the darkened corridor empty. I make my way along it, keeping my back to one wall so I can keep a look out. I'm surprised to find the area deserted. I guess we’re the only prisoners and Jack must still be held in the throne room or somewhere nearby. I can remember the way there from the cellblock and I cautiously move in that direction. I only have to hide twice, there seem to be very few Jaffa in the building, most of them must be out searching for me.

Sooner than I expect I find myself the short corridor culminating in the double doors to Bastet's throne room. I listen very carefully but can't hear anything. Very slowly I move down the corridor and hide behind one of the open doors, still can't hear anything. I peek through the narrow slot between the door and the frame and I see the back of a Jaffa. He's standing still, on guard I guess. I doubt he is alone so I sidle towards the edge of the door and peer around it, holding my breath, praying I won't be seen. I'm surprised to find he is standing guard alone but when I see the condition of the prisoner he is guarding I understand.

Jack is on his knees in the centre of the room, held there by a chain fastened to a collar around his neck; the chain is short enough that he can't get up off his knees. I know he must be in agony forced to kneel for who knows how long on the cold stone floor. His hands are manacled behind his back and his ankles are linked by another short chain. Even the one guard seems like overkill. Luckily for me I expect the Jaffa feels that way too.

However he is armed with a staff weapon and a zat and I have nothing. I look around for something to use as a weapon and I grin as I say a silent thank you for the Goa'uld penchant for extravagance. Either side of the huge door there is a modern version of a torch set in a sconce; a direct copy of the original except where the flame would have been lit there is a flashlight arrangement instead. All I care about is that it's big and heavy and mobile. I lift it from its base, pleased by the comfortable weight.

Using every skill taught to me by my team-mates, I creep as quietly as I can behind the Jaffa and using all of my strength I swing the heavy torch and hit him across the back of his head. He drops like a stone. I spare a quick glance for the man I killed but can spare no regret.

Jack looks up at the thud as the body hit the floor and is now staring at me, mouth agape.

I search the Jaffa for the keys to the chains, hoping Bastet has not kept them herself.

Jack finds his voice and asks, "Daniel! What are you doing here? They told me you had escaped!"

Triumphantly holding up a small bunch of keys, I hurry over to him.

"I couldn't leave you here, Jack. I tried to get to the Gate for help. I couldn't do it alone, there were Jaffa everywhere."

After I unlock his shackles and chains Jack gets stiffly to his feet. Taking a deep breath, he looks deeply into my eyes until I have to gasp for air. I didn't realise until then that I was holding my breath. He smiles at me and then quickly appropriates the Jaffa's zat, which he gives to me, taking the staff weapon for himself.

I turn back to the door into the corridor when Jack's voice stops me.

"No, this way. She thought she was so clever, so sure she would break me that in the end she got careless."

"What?"

"There’s a ring room through here," he says, brushing aside a heavy gold curtain, "And it can take us straight to the Stargate. It is almost directly overhead."

"The GDO, Jack. We don't have one."

"Wait," he says and walks swiftly to the corner of the same room and sure enough there are our packs. No weapons, just the packs and it is obvious they had been rifled through. I watch with baited breath as he searches. "Sweet," he declares turning with a GDO in his hands, which he tosses to me.

I slip it on with a sigh of relief, then I remember. "There will be a lot of guards, Jack," I say, concerned though I know we have little choice.

"I know but they won't be expecting us to appear in the middle of them, two armed Tau'ri," Jack says and he's actually grinning.

I feel better immediately. This is my Jack even if he doesn't know it and whatever happens we are together. I stand in the centre of the circle while Jack presses the controls and he quickly gets in standing back to back with me just before the rings shoot up surrounding us. I experience the familiar odd displacement sensation and then we materialise on the surface above. There are fewer guards than I expect but enough to give us a hard time for a minute or so. Luckily Jack is as proficient with a staff as he is with a P90 and I'm no mean shot with a zat.

"Dial it up Daniel!" he calls as he disposes of the last one.

I dial the Earth Gate and send the signal as soon as it opens and then side-by-side we run through.

~~

Just to see Hammond standing there is such a relief that it isn't until I see the general glancing behind us that I realise he is looking for Sam and Teal'c.

"I'm sorry, sir," Jack tells him in a low voice, "They didn't make it."

"They were killed by a Goa'uld," I add firmly. I refuse to allow Jack to take any responsibility for their deaths.

Hammond doesn't allow his feelings to show there in the gateroom, he turns to Jack and...

"Sir, the iris won't shut down!" a technician yells from the control room.

Hammond swings around to look up at the control room window but before he can speak he is hit in the back by a staff weapon blast

Shocked, I swing back to see Jaffa coming in through the still open wormhole. I lift my zat to fire at them when suddenly I'm grabbed and the weapon knocked from my hand. Before I can react I'm yanked out of the way as more Jaffa pour through the Gate and a running battle begins between them and the SF's as the enemy invades the SGC.

I struggle in the strong grasp but I am held firm with my back against my captor's chest and I twist my head to see who is holding me. My heart thuds in my chest and my vision swims.

"Jack?" My voice is hoarse with choked emotion.

"Oh no, Dannyboy," he whispers in my ear, my heart breaking as he continues in the double voice of the Goa'uld, "Jack is nicely tucked away and has been for some time."

Bastet! I want to know exactly when she invaded his body but I am afraid of the answer. My blood turns to ice in my veins as I understand the horror Jack must be going through but I won't add to it by giving her that knowledge. If she was inside him when she killed Sam and Teal'c...Oh god! I try to remember back to the exact words Jack used when he told me about the deaths and I realise from what I can remember that the words could apply just as easily to the real Jack being forced to watch when held by two Jaffa -- or when trapped as a prisoner inside his own head!

Allowing the venom I feel to be heard, I ask, "If you knew everything from the beginning why this... this game?"

"Oh, but Danny," my skin crawls to hear her use the fond diminutive that is a favourite of Jack's and one I'd always pretend to dislike. "It is so much more enjoyable this way. You have no idea how he railed against me when I was playing with you. It's been a pleasure to cause pain for the two of you who have caused so much trouble over the years. And my success will provide a valuable lesson to my rivals."

Jack's arm tightens on my neck and his hot breath sweeps across my ear as she leans in to say, "He loves you, but you know that, don't you?"

I'm not sure if she really believes I know that or if it is another game but the truth is the words are both a torture and a joy.

The arm is so tight across my throat now that I can hardly breathe, as she continues, "But even for you he wouldn't have told me, he made that clear. Of course, that didn't really matter; I took what I wanted from him anyway. But the fact is that he would have let you die. Does that hurt, or do you forgive him?" Black spots dance before my eyes and I can't speak even if I'd want to, but I guess that Bastet knows the answer for the voice snarls, "No matter, this will be his punishment."

As Jack's arm tightens further and my sight greys out, helpless fear slams through me. And regret, terrible hopeless regret. I've never told him how I really feel, does he know? Jack.........

~~

I'm cursing and yelling. I imagine my hands around her throat squeezing but it isn't her life I'm taking. I scream but no one hears me except for her, the fucking snake and she just laughs. Peels of maniacal laughter fill my mind, louder and louder until I can no longer hear my own screams. As she forces my hands to take the life of the man who means more to me than my own life, tears stream but I don't know if she allows them to fall.

I feel Daniel's body slip from my grasp to fall to the floor at my feet and I see the light is gone from his beautiful eyes. My scream dies into silence as my soul weeps.

FIN