I hate when people say "A word to the wise...." because if your wise you dont need to know, its the stupid ones that need the advice.

I'm a licienced Joyologist.

If you were a hotdog would you eat yourself?

If I had a clone I'd make out with myself.

You're never blocking a fire exit if you are flammable and have legs.

I would rather be retarded than stupid.

I've always wondered why is Batman called Batman, can he change into a bat. If so, if I was Batman I would spy on people while they were talking to themselves.

I bet when fat people have to draw themselves in art class they draw themselves skiny, just so everyone wont laugh at the and call them "Fat Albert."

I wonder how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tooties-Roll Pop. I swear I lick and I lick and I lick but I can't help but biting. The world may never know.

If I was on the Titanic and it was sinking then I would find a little boy and steal his raft and then I would give it back to him when I was done.

Once I was walking through this small town and a little girl asked me is she could have some soup, I said "No thank you, I've already eaten."

When people want to ask you something and you say I'm all ears, your actually lieing because you have a mouth and eyes too.

If abbreviations are words that you make short then why is the word "abbreviation" such a long word?
THOUGHTS