Darkness of the Heart

By: Quatre Raberba Winner (Quatre-Chan/Onna-Quatre)

(*****PLEASE READ! This fic is a non-con fic. I had a request to do a rape fic where Heero was the victim. Now for those of you who are like Hee-Chan, please don't read this, those of you who don't care continue on. This fic contains non-con [duh], Shounen ai. Parings: mainly 1x2, but there is 3x4 and most likely a lot of angst. Alright, I think that's all and this fic is detected to Angel Yuy.*****)

{Heero}

I toss and turn as I lye in my bed next to my koibito, Duo Maxwell. He has always been concerned about my well being and now for the past few weeks he has been asking me why I have been tossing and turning. But how can I tell him the truth.

What is happening to me right now is not suitable for my beautiful lover. I shiver at the sound of that word, 'lover'. Yes, he is my lover, but I can never tell him why I cringe before we make love. For you see the images I see in my sleep aren't dreams, they're memories.. . no they're living nightmares.

I shot straight up from the mattress in a cold sweat, my heart racing as I tried to put those memories into submission. I took one more deep breath before getting out of bed and walking into our bathroom.

I turned on the light and splashed cold water on my face, when I heard a voice behind me.

"Heero, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Duo."

"But you've been having those nightmares for the past few weeks, I.. ."

"I said I was fine!"

"I know, but you can't fool me, please Heero tell me what's wrong."

"Did it ever occur to you that I can't?!"

"I just want to help you.. ."

"I know, but I can't tell you. It hurts too much to even think of telling you such a story. So please, just leave me alone." I looked into the shinning violet pools and saw a little bit of sorrow.

"Are you coming back to bed?"

"No, I'll sleep in the living room on the couch."

He smirked slightly, "Let me guess, as long as Trowa's not down there."

"I forgot he and Quatre haven't been on good terms lately, but either way I'm not sleeping in here tonight."

"Was it me?"

"Don't think that. I just need some time." With that I left my room and headed down the dimly lit hallway.

I laid myself onto the uncomfortable piece of furniture. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, when I heard footsteps behind me.

The figure looked at me and chuckled a little, "Duo kick you out too?"

"No, I left on my own."

"Nightmares?"

"Yeah. Trowa, can I really tell him the truth?"

"Only if you are willing to talk. I still haven't told Quatre about my past, what I remember that is."

"Is that why you two are fighting?"

"No, it's a different reason. Heero, what are your nightmares about?"

"You can't tell anyone, not even Quatre. Understood?" I saw him nod and I let out a soft sigh, "I was molested by my father.. ."

"Heero.. ."

"I still remember every last detail. Whenever a mission went awry he would take it out on me. He'd beat me for awhile and when he'd pin me down he would.. ." I couldn't finish the statement, but I looked into the Latin boy's eyes. I expected him to mock me for my weakness, but instead he sat on the couch next to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"I know how you feel. When those mercenaries raised me they used to touch me in sexual ways. I used to shout out in pain and the more I did so the more they hurt me. So one day I finally gave up and let them do as they wished."

"But have you ever cringed when you and Quatre were about to make love?"

"Of course. I was afraid that he would hurt me, but he let me take control, I just had to remember that this was someone that I love and not someone that would tare me apart."

I sighed, "Why do these things happen?"

"I can't tell you that because I really don't have an answer."

"Hn."

He moved off the couch and lay on the floor. I lay on the couch and shut my eyes. I told one person about my problem and yet I still have no way knowing if these memories will ever leave the bottom of my heart and the back of my mind.

The next morning I awoke to the sound of Quatre and Trowa fighting. I got off the couch and approached the kitchen. I stopped in the doorway and looked at my comrades.

"Trowa, I can't believe you would be so childish to ask me to do such a thing!"

"Quatre, it's the best thing for you! I don't want to be the one to bring your family bad news because of your stupidity and carelessness!"

"Well don't worry, my family hates you and at the moment so do I!"

"SHUT UP!"

All of us turned our attention to the Chinese boy sitting at the table. He glared at the bickering couple, "I went to bed early last night because I had a headache, which I still have thanks to you two." He stood up with his cup of coffee in hand, "Winner, you always say that we shouldn't fight each other. So, follow your own advice and grow up." He walked into the living room.

{Duo}

I followed my friend into the living room and saw him sit on the couch and swallow some aspirin. He looked at me somewhat curious.

"What is it, Maxwell?"

"I just want to talk to you."

"All right, but please make it quick. I want to get some rest."

"Okay." I sat next to him and looked into his onyx eyes, "It's Heero. He's been having those nightmares again and I.. ."

"Maxwell, I know you want to help him. But if he won't tell you what they're about maybe you should just back off and leave him be for now."

"But.. ."

"Just leave him alone. When he's ready he'll come to you."

I could only nod, if I had made anymore attempts in making him tell me it was 'OK', he would have hurt me. I stood up and looked at the computer on the other side of the room, "Heero, there's a message for you!"

He walked in and stood next to me. He opened the email and sighed, "Another mission.. ."

"It's okay Heero, I'll go with you even though it didn't say to."

"No, I'll be all right. I should be back late tonight or early the next morning."

I smiled at him, "Well, do I at least get a kiss goodbye?" I moved a little closer to his lips.

His Prussian blue eyes quivered at each step I took, but before I could close the gap between us, he gripped my shoulders and kissed my right cheek. He pulled away from me and walked towards the stairs, "Nimo roukai." Then walked out of my sight.

"Heero.. ."

{Heero}

I made it to the base in no time at all. This mission didn't require my Gundam, which made it all the more quicker. I was to obtain information on the OZ forces in space, but unfortunately Dr. J was wrong about the security in this location.

He had said that it was at low security, but that was inaccurate to say the least. There were guards every corner I turned. I just made my way carefully and silently through the base until I found the room that held the information that would complete my mission.

As I entered I felt somewhat uneasy. I couldn't place why I was having this feeling that I was having in my chest, so I ignored it and continued to hack into the computer system.

It was only a matter of mere minutes before I obtained the information and now I was on my way out of the maximum-security base.

No more than three steps out of the room, the alarms started to blare. I must have tripped one of the laser censors. I quickened my pace with rapid strides and even then that didn't help. One of the many men tackled me from behind and knocked me to the floor, then dragged me to the captivity sec.

I sat in this cell for awhile. It was so cold and dark, that the sudden light that came in surprised me. I looked at the person approaching me and saw that it was an OZ soldier.

He looked at me with pure lust in his eyes, "So beautiful.. ." he murmured.

The more he approached, the further I backed away until I backed up into the wall. He grabbed my arms and pinned me to the cool metal floor.

"Daddy needs your help, little soldier.. ."

Images of my father flashed before my eyes, of him on top of me, touching me, murmuring sexual fraises in my ear.

I struggled against this man and at the sign of my resistance, he slapped me across the face. He smiled slightly as he saw a tiny trickle of blood make its way down the side of my mouth. He moved his face closer to mine and licked the crimson liquid away. He moved his right hand towards the waistband of my shorts and smirked like a madman, "This will be the first of many encounters, Perfect Soldier. Now lets see how prefect you really are." He started to pull my shorts down and as he did so I could feel his arousal rub against my leg.

I couldn't take it anymore. I tried to resist, but I couldn't any longer. I took a deep breath and screamed out of pain and sorrow.

~~~

{Duo}

I'm sitting on the windowsill in my room that I shared with my one true love. I was watching the sunset when I felt a small chill run down my spine. My first thought about the chill was that something had happened to my lover, but I knew better.

Then I heard something that put that thought back into my mind, I heard a loud, anguish scream. I looked into the distance and put my hand over my heart, "Heero.. ."

The days had past and Heero still hasn't returned. I'm sitting in my bed looking at the empty spot next to me. I shook my head and left the room. I hate being alone. Knowing that he most likely wouldn't mind, I decided to head for WuFei's room.

I opened the door to his room and looked at the surroundings for a few seconds. The room was really clean compared to mine; well that was to be expected I guess. The only window in his room was open slightly, that allowed a light spring breeze to flow through the room and the moon light was shinning right on my friend's face.

I walked up to the bed and took a quick look at my sleeping comrade. Strands of his black hair were falling out of his ponytail and his face made him look so innocent when he slept. I smiled slightly and crawled into the bed next to him.

{WuFei}

I could feel something move next to me. I opened my eyes and turned on the light only to see Duo Maxwell there.

"Maxwell, what are you doing?"

"I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to be alone, so I figured you wouldn't mind if I slept in here tonight."

"You mean like you've been doing for the past four nights?"

"I didn't think you'd mind.. ."

"Maxwell, I know you're worried about Yuy. But one of these days he and I will have a mission together and I won't be here. What are you going to do then?"

"If you want me to leave just say so."

I sighed, "Look, stay in here tonight and I'll go to that base in the morning and look for him."

"Really?"

"Yes, it just doesn't seem right that he hasn't come back yet. He's the most skilled out of all of us, I wonder what could have happened.. ."

I awoke the next morning and left my room silently, to ensure that Duo was going to stay asleep for a few more hours. He needed it.

I made my way downstairs after I had gotten dressed. I walked into the kitchen and yet again Quatre and Trowa were arguing.

"You are so insensitive, Trowa!"

"I told you that your kindness could be your downfall. You are way to trusting towards others! You could end up dead, is that what you want?!"

"No, but right now I want you out of my face!" he picked up a plate off the counter and threw it towards the pilot of Heavyarms.

The porcelain object crashed to the floor and shattered into a hundred pieces. One of the shards came at me and racked against my left arm, "That's a nice good morning."

The blond looked at me and gasped at the small trail of blood on my arm, "WuFei, I'm so sorry.. ." he ran over to me and looked at my arm.

"I'm all right."

"That's pretty deep, sit down and I'll take care of the wound."

I nodded a bit and sat down at the table. Quatre walked back over to me with a first aid kit. He cleaned the wound and started to wrap a bandage around it.

Trowa looked at him, "See what you did?! If he had been an OZ soldier, you would have been dead by now!"

"Shut up Trowa! I'm not that incapable!"

"Both of you shut your traps!" they both looked at me with shock written on their faces, "Look, you two can fight all you want, but not in here. Maxwell is trying to sleep because he's been worried about Yuy all night. He needs his rest, so please keep your lover's quarrel to yourselves. Now, I'm going to that base that Yuy had gone to. I'll be back in a few hours." With that said I left the kitchen and walked into the living room and checked the location. And now I was on my way to the base.

I was now walking through the base. Heero must have gotten caught; no one in their right mind would try getting information from a base at this high security.

I quickened my pace and ran into a group of soldiers.

"Freeze!"

I turned around and saw that the entire hall was blocked off. I had two options. One was to fight them off and continue looking for my comrade or two turn myself in and get the others involved in a search. My choice was clear.

I got in a fighting stance and now I was ready to take on the soldiers. My moves were matched by each of them. And on my last attempt one of the men hit me in the back of the neck and knocked me out cold.. .

{Heero}

The cell door opened again and I sighed in relief that it wasn't that perverted guard. After the door had closed I crawled over to my new cellmate. I gasped and shook him a little, "WuFei, wake up."

He moved slightly and opened one eye a little, "Yuy, are you all right?"

I nodded. I knew I was lying, but there was no way I was going to tell this person what really happened.

He looked at my face and arced an eyebrow slightly, "What happened to you?"

I didn't respond. He moved closer to me and put a hand on my shoulder, "Yuy?"

I couldn't control myself, I knew he was just being a friend and making sure I was all right, but right now I don't want to be touched by anyone. I moved my hand back and then made contact with his face with my fist.

He fell backwards and rubbed his right cheek, "I can see why Maxwell will never pick a fight with you."

"WuFei, I'm sorry. I.. ."

"I'm all right. Don't worry about it. Between you and Winner, I'm going to fall apart by the end of the day anyway."

The door opened again and this time it was my worst nightmare. He walked towards me and I backed up into the wall quivering in fear for my life. "Please no more.. ." I whimpered.

"Shh.. . little one, it'll be over soon.. ." he continued to walk towards me and then WuFei stepped in between us.

"Leave him alone."

"Hm, a new comer?"

The Chinese pilot looked back at me, "It's okay, Heero. I understand your fear." He whispered and then turned back to the pervert. "If you leave him alone and let him go.. . you can have me."

"Hm.. ." the man took a few steps closer and put his hand behind WuFei's head. He pulled on the hair tie and let the black locks fall onto the boy's shoulders. "Beautiful.. . now for one more sight to be seen before I make my decision."

He moved closer to the Shenlong pilot's pants and pulled them and his boxers down to his ankles. He moved his hand lower and began to fondle him. I couldn't bear to see this sight any longer, I brought my knees to my chest and buried face on the top of my knees.

{WuFei}

"I'll tell you what. I'll let him go, but he has to stay here and watch my first round with you."

I looked back at the Japanese boy, then at the man in front of me, "Deal." You can handle this, I know you can, I must protect you at any cost.. .

He moved his hands to my waist and knelt down in front of me. He placed his mouth around my cock and sucked on it. I just stood there, silently as he continued his assault.

{Heero}

I could hear the low moans from the soldier. I began to wonder if my friend passed out. I lifted my head a little and saw WuFei looking back at me. He mouthed the words; 'It's okay.. .' I nodded and put my head back down.

The next thing I heard was a slight thud; I lifted my head again and saw the Chinese boy on the floor.

"Come on, let me hear you scream!" he raised his hand and struck WuFei in the face.

His lip split at the last punch that the man had thrown. I looked at the Shenlong pilot once more and he mouthed to me; 'I'm okay.' But his eyes had said something different.

I buried my face again, I couldn't stand to see the sorrow in his eyes.

I heard the soldier scream and realized that he had reached his climax. I lifted my head and saw that the guard had passed out onto the floor.

I ignored him and crawled over to my comrade, "Are you okay?"

".. ."

"WuFei?"

".. ." he stood up and pulled his pants up.

"Let's go."

He nodded and I took the keys from the guard that had passed out and opened the door.

We ran out of the base and into one the trucks. As we drove off I looked at WuFei, "Thank you."

".. ."

"I know it was a hard decision to make."

He shook his head.

"WuFei, say something."

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He shook his head again.

"Look at me."

He gave me a quick glance and then turned his gaze to the window.

I sighed, "I'm so sorry.. . but now you know what my nightmares are, right?"

He nodded, "Forgive me, Nataku.. ." he whispered.

I could barely make out the last thing that he had said, but I still heard it. My heart sank at the thought of knowing that it was because of me that he has completely lost any way of communicating and now unfortunately he too knows the deeper secrets that are kept in the bottom of our hearts.

{WuFei}

We arrived back at our safe house within a few hours. I got out of the truck with Heero along side me and we entered the house.

"We're back!" the blue eyed boy announced.

Duo came out of the kitchen. His eyes lit up at the sight of his koibito, "Heero, you're all right!" he ran over to the Wing pilot and pulled him into a tight embrace.

Heero shuddered a little, but then relaxed and returned the embrace, "Yeah, sort of."

"WuFei," the longhaired boy let go of his lover and looked at me, "thank you so much. I.. ."

I couldn't bear to hear anymore. I know he was just thanking me for saving the person he loves more than life and food it self. But what price did I pay for my action?

I walked away from my two comrades and headed up the stairs.

"WuFei?" the violet eyed boy called.

I continued to climb the stairs and then shut my self in the bathroom. I turned on the shower as hot as it would go, not even discarding my clothing I climbed into the tub, sat down and let the piping hot droplets fall on my body and let them work their way into my tortured soul.

{Duo}

I stared at the stairs for a few seconds and then turned my attention to my lover, "Heero, lets go in the kitchen and talk."

He nodded and followed me into the room. I smirked at the sight that awaited us. Quatre and Trowa sat at opposite ends of the table, glaring at each other. Heero and I sat at the table with our two feuding comrades.

I looked at my lover and saw that he seemed to be a little on edge, "Heero, the next time you get a mission I don't care what you say, but I'm going with you no matter what. I don't want you disappearing on me again."

"No!" he stood up and looked at me with hurt, Prussian blue eyes, "I didn't mean to yell, Duo. But you can't, I won't let you."

"Heero, what happened? Did you have those nightmares there too?"

"Kind of." He took a few breaths and sat back down. All the while, my other two buddies stayed quiet.

"Heero, tell me. What happened at that base? If you had those nightmares, I can understand the way you're acting, but why is Wu acting so strange?"

{Heero}

I took a few deep breaths again and let out a low sigh, "I was.. ." I took another breath and tried again, "I was.. ." Damn it! why can't I tell him?! I kept screaming at myself when I felt soothing arms wrap them selves around me. I looked into the bright violet eyes of my beautiful koibito.

"It's okay Heero. I won't get mad. Just tell me what you can and I'll do all I can to see to it that it will never happen again.. ."

"I was raped by one of the soldiers.. ." I whispered.

It may not have been very loud, but it was loud enough for the others to hear me.

Duo tightened his grip a little, "Oh Heero.. ." he held on for a few seconds and then suddenly pulled away, "I'm sorry, you must not want me to touch you right now."

"No.. ." I stood up and faced him. Tears started to make their way down my cheeks, "I need you to hold me in your arms.. ." I took a few more steps and walked into his warm embrace and let out all my sorrow.

I could feel his hand rubbing small circles on my back, "Shh, it's all right. Tell me what happened."

"WuFei.. ."

"What happened to him?"

I took a few breaths, "The soldier came into my cell right after WuFei had been thrown in. I couldn't take it anymore.. ."

"Shh.. . calm down.. ."

"WuFei took my place.. ." I buried my face in his shoulder and continued my sobbing. Many people including Duo would have thought that I was incapable of crying and showing emotion, but never the less I am human as well. How could I not cry? One of my comrades, no friends, is having the same problem that Trowa and I face, but I am the one to blame for his inner pain.

{Trowa}

I looked at Heero and Duo, then at Quatre, "Can I talk to you outside?"

He nodded and we left the room. We stepped onto the porch and he looked at me with somewhat of a chilled glare, "What is it?"

"Do you see why I don't want you to fight anymore? That could have been you."

"Trowa.. ."

"Quatre, Heero has been through something like this before, but WuFei hasn't. Do you know what's going through their minds right now?"

"You don't have to worry, that won't happen to me."

I let out a small sigh, "If two of the strongest have fallen to this, what makes you think you won't?"

"Are you calling me weak?!"

"No, of course not."

"Look, you don't have to worry. I fight to protect those I love. I want to fight so this will never happen again."

"Did it? You fought all this time and it still happened. I couldn't.. ."

"Couldn't what?"

I let a few tears fall as I looked into his beautiful aquamarine eyes, "I couldn't bear it if this happened to you. I don't want you to be violated by someone like that. I care for you so much, please I'm begging you, stop your fight here and now."

He walked up to me and wiped away my tears, "Trowa, I know what you're saying, but I want to protect the people I love and to do that I must fight. Until you understand that, you're sleeping on the couch." He walked back into the house and out of my sight.

I sighed and went back in as well. I might as well get used to sleeping on that stupid piece of furniture.

{Heero}

I sat with Duo in our room. He looked at me with a lot of concern in the violet depths. I was the first to brake the silence, "Duo.. ."

"Heero, were you raped as a child?"

I nodded.

"By who?"

"My father. He was the one who originally trained me to be an assassin. My mother, of course told him that I had no right being raised that way. She got in the way of my father one too many times and she was killed." A small tear made its way down my face at the memory of me seeing my mother's bloody corps on the floor.

"Oh Heero.. ."

"That's not all. To hide his tracks, we moved all over the place and he would take any job that involved an assassination. But one day after his mission, I could see something in his eyes that I had never seen before, the look of hate and lust. He approached me and.. ."

"Say no more, I understand." He moved closer to me and put his arms around my neck, "I'll see to it that that bastard gets what's coming to him."

"Uh, Duo my father has been dead 12 years."

He pulled away and smirked, "Well, looks like my job is done."

"Thank you for being so understanding." I smiled for the first time within four days.

"That's the Heero I fell in love with, now can I give you a kiss?"

"I'll go you one better." I moved closer to him and pulled him into a full-fledged kiss. We stayed like that for awhile until the longhaired boy pulled away to get some air.

"Well, I think you're going to recover from you trauma."

"Not all at once, but I'll be all right as long as I have you.. ."

He nodded, I guess he was too speechless for words. That's a first for my braided baka, but I guess right now I can't call him a baka. He's a lot smarter than he looks and he looks like that the entire time mind you people.

I lay down on the bed and Duo lay there next to me, curled up in my arms. He had his head on my chest and let out a sigh of contentment and looked into my eyes, "I'll never leave your side.. ."

I just smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his head.

{WuFei}

I turned off the water and continued to sit in the tub. I know I did the right thing by taking his place, so why am I taking this so hard? Heero needed my help, I knew he couldn't take anymore "sections" with that guy. So why am I questioning my self?

I climbed out of the tub and made my way to my room. I shut my door and changed my clothes. I looked at my reflection in the mirror that was on the inside of my closet door. What I saw was meaningless to me, a now soulless vessel.

I stretched my hand over to my dresser and grabbed the small lamp that was on it. I looked at the object in my hand and then threw it at the mirror, shattering it into millions of pieces.

I walked over to the shards and picked up one of the jagged pieces. I examined it and not even thinking about it I cut my upper left arm. I mindlessly watched the crimson liquid run down it. I sat on the floor and watch the blood continue making its way down my arm. I feel no pain, vessels can't feel anything. No pain, no love, nothing. I am nothing now and forever.. .

{Duo}

I brought my head up from my lover's chest at the sound of something shattering.

"Heero, did you hear that?"

"Yeah.. . it came from WuFei's room."

We got off the bed and walked into the room that was next to ours. My jaw almost hit the floor at the sight before us. This had been the first time that I had entered this room and was somewhat of a mess.

I took one more look around and then spotted the Chinese pilot on the floor with a dazed looked in his eyes, then I noticed the shard of glass in his hand.

"WuFei, are you okay?" I asked as I approached him.

He moved away from me.

"WuFei, I'm not going to hurt you.. ."

".. ."

"What happened?"

".. ."

I took a few more steps closer and then stopped right in front of him. I watched him closely and then he did something I didn't expect he threw the shard at me.

{Heero}

I saw my koibito move out of the way of the on coming piece of glass. I waited for a few seconds and then I approached, with more caution than that of my lover. I knelt down in front of him, being very careful not to touch the glass, "It's all right, we won't hurt you." I looked at the violet-eyed boy behind me, "Duo, go get the first aid kit and get a broom so we can clean this mess."

He nodded and left the room. I moved my hand little closer to the Shenlong pilot's shoulder, "Let me help you over to the bed."

He nodded and walked along side me over to the mattress. We sat down and I looked at his arm, "Why did you brake the mirror?"

".. ."

I got off the bed and shut his bedroom door. I then turned my attention back to him, "No one else is here, you can talk to me."

"No.. ."

"Yes, you can. Anything you say to me will stay between you and me."

He faced me and his eyes held no emotion what so ever now, "I'm a vessel."

"What?"

"I'm a vessel. I have nothing left. Everything I had worked for is gone, there is no justice.. ."

"WuFei, I have always believed that justice was an ideal, but for people like you the meaning of that word exists in your heart."

"No, I have no heart. I'm nothing now.. ."

"I don't understand."

He sighed, "You can't. You have someone to help you through this as does Barton."

"What?"

"I have no one to support me."

"Yes you do. You have all of us."

He shook his head, "You guys can't give the support I need. I need to know that I can be loved.. ." he got up and walked back over to the shards. He picked up another piece and started to walk towards the door.

"WuFei, what are you doing?"

"Leaving my room."

"Not with that glass."

"Get out of my way, I'm warning you.. ."

"WuFei, calm down. Let me help you."

He moved forward and struck me in the face with glass shard. I stumbled a little and he exited the room. He managed to give me a small cut on my cheek, I whipped away the blood and ran into the hall.

I saw the Chinese pilot enter the bathroom and shut the door. I approached the room and turned the knob only to find it locked.

"Heero, I got the stuff." The longhaired pilot stopped beside me and gave me a confused look, "What happened?"

"He locked himself in the bathroom." I began to pound on the door, "WuFei, open the door!"

{WuFei}

I sat in the tub again and listened to the attempts my comrades were making to get inside. Knowing that it wouldn't be long before Heero would brake the door down, I decided to add one me wound to my body.

I took the piece of glass and jammed it into my right leg. I watched the blood pour out and then I shut my eyes. The torture I was giving my self was a lot worse than what I had received from that soldier, but I needed to be punished for my carelessness, my act was noble, but at the same time it was wrong.

I don't know what to do anymore, I just want this to end.. .

{Heero}

I tried to reason a few more times and now seeing that there was no way he was going to let us in it was up to me to let my self in.

I used all my strength and bashed my shoulder into the door. I repeated the little process until it opened.

Duo and I walked in and the look on my koibito's face showed a lot of fear and concern.

"Is he.. .?"

I walked over to the bathtub to get a better look at our friend. I sighed in relief that he only had his eyes shut, but then again there was no relief in the situation. I saw that he had stabbed himself with that glass shard that he had hit me with.

"Duo, leave the first aid kit here, but go down stairs and call Sally Po."

"Right." He set the kit down on the sink and high-tailed it out of the room.

"Hang on.. ."

{Duo}

I ran into the kitchen and grabbed the phone off of the table. I dialed like a madman, I just wanted WuFei to be safe and the faster Sally got here, the sooner he would be.

"Duo, what are you doing?"

I turned around with phone to my ear and saw my blond friend looking at me, "Calling Sally, WuFei hurt him self." I would have said more, but Sally had picked up.

The last thing I saw was the Arabian boy running out of the room.

{Quatre}

I ran up the stairs as fast as I could. I stopped to catch my breath and then entered the bathroom. I saw Heero bandaging the wound on WuFei's left arm and he held a towel over his leg.

I gasped for a second and then walked over to the Japanese pilot, "Heero, what happened?"

"He's punishing himself."

"What?"

"He feels he's to blame for what happened. He thinks he did something wrong and so he's hurting himself."

"How do you know that? He hasn't been talking."

"I just know. Trust me."

"Heero!"

I turned my attention, as did Heero to the door. Trowa stood there with shock written on his face.

"Quatre, what happened?"

"I'm not talking to you.. ."

He walked in and brushed passed me. He knelt beside Heero and they started to whisper amongst themselves.

It's bad enough that Trowa doesn't respect me enough to let me fight, but now he seems to know something about this whole ordeal.

"Quatre."

I turned my attention to my lover and sighed, "What?"

"Go down stairs and wait for Sally with Duo. I don't want you seeing one of our friends in this condition."

I opened my mouth to protest but, he cut in, "You care for us to the point of where seeing one of us like this will make you ill, please Quatre go wait for Sally."

I didn't want to admit it but, he was right. And now that I think about it maybe he has a point about me fighting too.. . I brought myself back from my thoughts and walked out of the bathroom.

{Duo}

I waited on the porch for Sally. My hands were shaking, this has never happened to me before. Why am I so scarred?

"Duo?"

"Yes, what is it Quatre?"

"Do you think I should be fighting?"

I looked at him in a little bit of surprise, "What brought this on?"

"Trowa. He want's me to stop, but I can't. I can feel it my soul that I need to protect the ones I love."

"I can't give you an answer, this dispute is between you and Trowa." I stopped my statement there. I didn't want to get involved in there argument. It was a good thing too because Sally had just arrived.

"Heero, can you tell me anything else about your past?"

{Heero}

"What do you want to know?"

"Did you hurt yourself like this?"

I didn't want to talk about that right now. If I tell him what had done to my self it might give WuFei ideas. "Duo, I.. ."

"It's all right. I just wanted to know if this kind of thing happens to other rape victims."

"Every victim deals with it differently. In WuFei's case he feels he needs to be punished. By hurting himself he is giving himself worse treatment than that of that damn rapist. He begins to forget the incident and then he can focus on his own pain, the one that he's causing."

"I understand." He walked away from me and approached the bed.

"Duo, what are you doing?"

He sighed and then took off the cross that he wore around his neck, "I never wanted you to go as far as to become a rape victim to protect the one I love. I know I can't make it up to you, but I'll try." He put the cross around the Shenlong pilot's neck, "I've worn that necklace ever since the day of the Maxwell church's destruction, it has protected me from almost everything, so now I want you to have it and I pray to whoever will listen that it will cease your pain. And I hope that it will protect you like it had me.. ." he walked back over to me and pulled me into an embrace.

I held him. That's all I could do because now he too is blaming himself for this unfortunate incident.

{Quatre}

A week had already gone by since the day of that incident. I'm still thinking about my whole argument with Trowa. I know deep down that he's right, but I'm right too. Aren't I?

Trowa's still lying on the couch and I told him that he would stay there until he understood, but in reality it is I who now understands. He's not only worried about me, but he's also worried about his own well being. In his mind, I'm sure he thinks that life has no meaning if I'm not in it anymore and the last thing I want is to hurt him.

It's around eleven o' clock at night and I'm still awake. I can hear soft whimpers coming from the room next to mine and once I felt that pang in my heart, I knew WuFei was having another nightmare.

I climbed out of bed and look into WuFei's room. The moon shone through the curtains and when it hit him just right, I could see the old and new tears that had steamed down his cheeks.

My heart hurt every time I saw one of his tears. I walked away and went down stairs to make myself a cup of tea.

On my way into the kitchen, I saw the glow from the TV that was in the living room. Curious, I peeked around the corner and saw Trowa watching the news. I waited for a few seconds to see if he would notice me. In the back of my mind, I wanted to laugh. This was the exact same thing I had done to get Trowa in the first place.

I shook my head and walked back into the kitchen. And once I was in the room I heard footsteps follow.

"Quatre, what are you doing up? You usually go to bed before the rest of us."

"Trowa.. ." I couldn't stop my tears. They willingly flowed down my face. And when I would wipe them away, more would follow. I ran into my lover's arms and cried into his chest.

He put his arms around me and rubbed small circles on my back, "Shh.. . Quatre, what's wrong?"

"It's WuFei. I can feel his pain.. ."

"It's all right.. ."

"You were right. I won't fight. My battle ends here."

"Quatre?"

I pulled away and looked into his visible emerald eye, "I don't want that to happen to me and the last thing I would want is to hurt you. I love you, Trowa. Can you forgive me for being such a little idiot?"

"You weren't an idiot. You felt strongly about fighting, you did nothing wrong. Now, are you sure?"

"Yes." I took a deep breath and was nearly caught off guard by the sound of the teakettle going off. I walked over to the stove and poured the water into my favorite cup, "Trowa, would you like some?"

"No thank you."

I nodded and we walked into the living room. We sat on the couch and watched the news.

"This just in, an OZ base has just been annihilated do to an unknown enemy. This was most likely an attack planned out by the colonies. We will keep you updated on this matter."

"Heero must be on his way back now." The Latin boy said softly.

I put down my tea and curled up in his arms. I sighed happily as I listened to his heartbeat.

"We now go to a live interview with Treize Khushrenada."

"Treize, what do you intend to do about this? This man has already raped two of the rebels from the colonies and a dozen of your other soldiers, that is according to our sources."

"We have already put him in confinement."

"And he has escaped. Tell us, what are you going to do about it?"

"We are in the process of looking for him as we speak. I can tell you from my heart that he will not go unpunished, my soldiers did not deserve that kind of treatment and neither did the prisoners. They my have been rebels, but they didn't deserve that kind of punishment, no one does and if they and the other victims are watching with all sincerity, I apologize for all your discomfort. That is all."

I looked up at Trowa, "Do you think.. .?"

"Without a doubt."

I sighed and fell asleep in his arms. I could feel him pressing his lips into my hair and then by the way his chest was going up and down, I could sense that he had fallen asleep as well.

{WuFei}

I awoke in a cold sweat. I continued to breathe heavily as I sat there. I moved my hand to my face and felt moisture. I feel so cold and alone, I got out of bed and headed down the stairs.

I stopped in the living room and let a small smile appear on my face. It had been the first smile that I had had in a long time. I walked over to my two comrades and placed a blanket over them.

I smiled at them once more and picked up the teacup that was on the coffee table and then turned off TV by the remote.

I made my way into the kitchen and looked at the sky through the window that was above the sink.

"Hey there.. ."

My eyes widened and I dropped the cup, causing it to shatter on the floor. "No, please. No more.. ." My hands started to tremble, I backed up into the wall and curled up in a ball, trembling more and more.

{Duo}

I heard a sound come from down stairs. My first thought about the sound was that is was Quatre and Trowa fighting again, but then I felt a shiver run down my spine.

It was the same, just like the day that I stared out my window and heard that scream. I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs.

Halfway down, I could make out Quatre and Trowa standing in the doorway. I stopped behind them and saw what they had been looking at.

I pushed my way passed them and approached the Chinese boy, "WuFei, its all right.. ."

He looked at me with pure fear in his eyes. He moved his hand towards the counter and grabbed a knife.

"Put the knife down, WuFei.. ."

"I must.. ."

"Must what?" my voice held a lot of concern and I pray that he knows how worried all of us are.

"I must be punished.. ."

"Punished? For what?"

"For not being strong enough." He moved the blade towards his chest.

"No!" I quickly grabbed him and pulled him into a tight embrace. He continued to tremble under my touch, "Drop the knife. Please drop it.. ."

{WuFei}

I dropped the knife onto the floor and without even the slightest bit of fear that they would mock me for my weakness, I buried my face into the longhaired pilot's shoulder and broke into tears.

"What happened?" he questioned, and at the same tried to calm me down.

"I saw him.. ."

"Saw who?"

"HIM!"

"The.. .?"

"Yeah.. ." I pulled away from him and looked at my blond friend, who was sweeping up the pieces of his favorite teacup, "I'm sorry.. ."

"Don't be. The important thing is that that guy didn't do anything, yet. Are you sure you saw him?"

I nodded.

The Latin pilot looked at all of us, "I'm going to wait on the porch for Heero."

We agreed and he walked out of the room. I sat down at the table with Duo and Quatre. The Deathscythe pilot smirked, "Looks like my cross protected you."

"Maxwell.. ."

"Come on, I mean the guy ran away. Didn't he?"

"Maxwell, I think the most logical answer to his retreat was the fact that I had dropped the teacup. I mean made enough noise to wake all three of you. He had a reason to run."

Duo pouted, "Don't spoil my fun, Wu."

I chuckled. He smiled and swung an arm around me, "See, that's the Wu I know. Come on, laugh at my stupidity!"

"As much as I'd like to, but we have more important matters at hand." I really wanted to kick myself for being right at that moment, but it really felt good to smile and laugh again.

Maybe these guys can provide the comfort that I need. Maybe.. .

A few weeks had passed and that rapist had yet to show his face again.

Heero and I have been having daily talks and when he had first brought the idea to my attention, I thought it would put my mental state in a worse condition. But it has helped me greatly.

I know that he is still a little uneasy about being able to have a normal, well normal for him, relationship with Duo, but I think that having each other to rely on is helping him as well.

"WuFei."

I turned my attention to the Japanese pilot next to me and noticed that we had stopped in front of the MS hanger.

"What are we doing?"

"I remember after the incident first happened that you came in here to seek guidance from Nataku. But as soon as you stepped in you walked right back out."

"And you think I can face her now?"

"I personally don't get why you talk to your Gundam."

"I believe that the spirit of my wife is in there. When we were married she would mock me for everything, and I know deep down that she would mock me for this."

"Is she the reason you fight for justice?"

"Yeah."

"Then how could she get mad you? You saved me and everything I had. If that's not in her code of honor and justice, I'd say she's the one that doesn't know what it means to be honorable."

I smiled a bit, "So what I am I supposed to do?"

"Face her. Talk to Nataku and get the support you need." He opened the hanger doors and we walked inside, "But no matter what she says to you the others and I will always know that you did the right thing."

I nodded and we walked over to Nataku. I stared at my Gundam for awhile. I really couldn't find the words, to tell her what I felt in my heart.

"Well, if it isn't the Perfect Soldier and the Salutary Dragon.. ."

My eyes widened at the sound of that voice. Heero and I looked around our surroundings and saw no one.

{Heero}

I could sense the discomfort that my friend had, I felt the same. I looked at him, "Let's split up. I know you must feel scared, but I'm in here too. So don't back down."

He nodded and we went in the opposite directions. I had my gun in hand, but immediately dropped at the first sign of something rub against me.

"So perfect, aren't you?"

I couldn't speak. I just stood there, frozen. The man moved his hands over my chest and moved them lower and lower, until they were just above the waistband to my shorts, "Show me what you've got. Let's see how much you've grown.. ."

I tried to call out to WuFei, but nothing would come out of my mouth. I just stood there and awaited my torture.. .

{WuFei}

I could see no sign of the soldier, so I decided to go back over to Nataku and wait for my comrade.

As I walked to my MS I could hear a voice that was now implanted in my memory. I walked quietly and when I was close enough, I grabbed the man from behind, "Run Heero!"

The Japanese boy stood there and shook his head.

I heaved a sigh and at the same time tried to keep the soldier away from him, "Go!"

He nodded and ran towards the doors. The soldier broke out of my grasp. He faced me and looked at me with pure lust, "So, let's see if I can make you scream now.. ." he moved closer to me.

I stood my ground. I couldn't let this man violate the others. My life has finally come back together and it will continue to stay that way as long as I have my friends. I know that now.

Before the soldier could do anything he fell onto the floor in a lifeless heap. I looked up and saw the blond pilot standing on the edge of the hatch to Sandrock, with a gun in his hand.

{Quatre}

I jumped down from my MS and ran over to the Chinese pilot, "Are you all right?"

He nodded.

"Good."

"When did you have such good aim?"

"Oh, Trowa took me to a shooting range on our two month anniversary. And then.. ."

"Okay, I get it."

I nodded, "Let's get you out of here." I put my arm over my friend's shoulder and we walked out of the hanger.

{Heero}

It's been over four months and WuFei and I have finally managed to get over the whole thing. Although our friendship is stronger than ever now.

We are now at the beach. WuFei was lying on a towel sleeping, Quatre and Trowa were curled up together on blanket that was a little closer to the ocean.

Over the past few months, Trowa and Quatre's relationship has gotten a lot better. We have yet to find a new pilot for Sandrock, but the four of us that have been fighting are managing just fine.

And Duo and I are in the ocean, splashing each other.

"Heero?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

I nodded.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you going to say it back?"

"Maybe."

He gave me the wounded puppy dog face and moved closer to me.

I wrapped my arms around my koibito's waist, "Ai shiteru, Duo."

He moved closer to me and our lips met. We let the waves crash against our bodies for a few moments and then we pulled away.

We made our way back to the shore, just in time to watch the sunset.

WuFei had woken up, in time to join the rest of us on the blanket that Quatre and Trowa were sitting on and we watched the last of the sunset.

It seemed so peaceful. I hope that we will continue to spend peaceful times like this together, after the war is over.

My friends I thank you, for all you've done. My heart and soul belong to Duo and my life is in the hands of all four of you, the people I trust. My first and true friends, arigato.. .

The End

Quatre-Chan: *smacks her head against a wall*

WuFei: "Quatre-Chan, why are you doing that?"

Quatre-Chan: *stops what she was doing* "Because I made you and Heero-kun get raped.. ." *smacks her head again and again and again*

WuFei: *picks her up* "Only for the story. You know that I was never raped. So stop punishing yourself." *walks away with her* "Yuy, take care of the disclaimer."

Heero: "Roukai." *aims gun at the fic readers* "Do the disclaimer or Omae o korosu.. ."

Fic readers: "She doesn't own anything and neither do we.. ."

Heero: *lowers his gun and walks away smirking*

Duo: "Yeah.. . and send her feedback by emailing her at quatre@moonkingdom.com."

Quatre: "You can also send requests."

Trowa: "Right and here are the rules. She will only do parings for WuFei if it is a 5xMerin or a 5xher. She will only do shounen ai if it is 1x2 or 3x4 and she will do the best she can for lemon/lime and non-con."

Duo: "That's all. Hope you enjoyed the show and we'll see you next time."

Quatre: *waves* "Come back soon."

Quatre-Chan: *runs back on the stage and waves* "Mission Complete. And before Heero-kun yells at me, I don't own that line!" *runs back over to the wall and smacks her head again*

WuFei: *picks her up* "Stop that and I'll give you pie.. ."

Quatre-Chan: *stops and grins* "I like pie."

G-boys: "That's been established already!"

Quatre-Chan: "That's Hee-Chan's line."

G-boys: "Yeah, but we don't own it.. ."

Quatre-Chan: *sweatdrops*