Understandings: Body, Mind and Soul

Part 5

By: Quatre Raberba Winner (Quatre-Chan/Onna-Quatre)

And that's how it was. My beloved Quatre is still unconscious and everyone is still in mystery of how we can stop our once kind friend without harming her.

"Trowa, I'm taking Duo back with me. I have a feeling that WuFei isn't going to be up for this battle. Stay here and look after your koi."

"I understand, but please don't do anything rash. I know that Quatre would want to have a chance to tell her what he has learned."

The longhaired boy nodded, "I know. Even though we had some rough times and through it all these two have opened my eyes. There is a whole new place just waiting for us after this war and I for one am not giving up without a fight. And damn it I'm going to bring Kirei back with me."

"Duo," the Japanese pilot blinked as he watched his lover make a very bold and powerful statement, "let's keep this realistic and just try and defeat her first."

"That's the point Heero. She doesn't have to be defeated like you say. You're still thinking like a soldier, for once think like a human. We don't have to fight her we just have to reason with her."

He smiled, "You're right."

"Wha? Me? Right? That's a new one."

"Don't put yourself down. Let's just go back home and discuss our next plan of action." He looked at the Latin boy, "Give us a call when he wakes up."

"Will do."

A few days had gone by and Quatre remained the same. Heero and Duo stopped by three days previous to today and informed me that they were going in and trying to retrieve Kirei. They had told me that WuFei was now some kind of drone. He never left his room, didn't eat anything, and spoke to no one. When I think about it, Heero and I used to be like that.

We only ate when it was late so we wouldn't have to speak to the others and we'd lock ourselves in our rooms working. I was starting to wonder then if we were indeed human. Then something caught my eye. It was a blond haired angel even though he doesn't admit it. Quatre is my guardian angel, no matter how many times I'd push him away he was there. He understands me even if I say nothing. The best thing to ever happen to me was falling in love with someone that understood my every thought and need.

But now I am the one who needs to learn. I need to know what's going to go through your mind when you awake and find your legs immobile. I need to know if you're still going to love me when I didn't protect you.. .

"Trowa.. ."

I did a double take and what I saw almost warmed my heart. Quatre's eyes opened slowly, I looked right into his sapphire orbs, "How do you feel?"

"Numb.. ." he tried turning himself over so he was in a sitting position.

I put my hands on his hips, "Lay down, don't move."

"But this isn't comfortable, I want to sit up."

"Okay." I helped him into the right position even though I knew I shouldn't have done that without Sally's permission, but I wasn't about to deprive him of his wish. After all this is my fault that he's in this hell ridden place. If I had protected him like I should have done than he wouldn't be here.

"Trowa, what's wrong?"

I shook my self out of my thoughts, "Quatre, there's something you need to know.. ." I stop my statement right there. I know that the others would tell me that I was the perfect one to tell him the bad news, but how could I? He means so much to me and he deserves to know the truth however I don't want to be the cause of the tears that I know he's going to shed.

"Tell me. What's going on?"

I stood from my seat, "I'm going to call the others and let them know you're awake, but first I'm going to get Sally. You just stay here and rest."

"All right." He smiled sleepily.

I walked out of the room and just my luck Sally was coming to check on my angel. I quickly told her that he woke up, but he doesn't know, then I made a mad dash for the phone. I dialed the number and waited through six rings before someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"WuFei, are Heero and Duo back yet?"

"No."

"Well Quatre's awake now."

"Good."

"Have you left your room?"

"No." he hung up.

I look at the receiver. I couldn't believe that he hasn't left his room I was almost positive that he would consult Nataku about this whole mess, but even I doubt that his wife could give him the proper guidance. Sighing to myself I hung up the phone and walked back to my lover's room and when I walked in I saw the one thing that always made my heart sink. Quatre was crying.

Sally excused herself and left me alone to talk with him. I sat on the edge of the bed taking one of his delicate hands in mine, "I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you tell me when I woke up?"

"I didn't want to see you cry."

"Just leave me alone Trowa.. ."

"No." I pulled him into a warm and tight embrace. I placed his head on my shoulder and I could feel his tears hitting my neck, "We'll get through this. I promise.. ." But will you still love and forgive me?

At the end of the week I had taken Quatre home. Although it seems he and WuFei are part of a secret club, they both do not want to be near anyone. When I tried to give my love something to eat he'd just nibble on it and then tell me he was full, but I knew better. Then there's the pilot of Shenlong, I would knock on his door and ask if he needed anything and I got nothing as a response.

I know WuFei will pull out of this soon, but this thing with Quatre will take a long time for him to heal and come to grips with this new way of life. The only thing bothering me other than my lover's behavior is the fact that Heero and Duo have yet to return.

As I walked down the hall to Quatre's new room I heard him talking to someone. I leaned against the wall and listened in on the conversation.

"Winner, you have to get over this."

"Look who's talking. I have only had a week to come to terms with this."

"And it's been about the same amount of time for me finding out that Kirei is now working for OZ as a brainwashed assassin."

"But aren't you being a coward by staying in your room and not eating? Not to mention not talking to the others and trying to see what you can do?"

"Isn't that what you're doing?"

"It's different with me. I'm nothing now. Trowa won't love someone who can't feel it when.. ." he sounded like he was going to burst into tears.

"Oh yeah? You've seen how much he has done for you. He is in here every second, thinking you may need something whether it being food or just someone to talk to. You have someone you can talk to!"

"So do you! You have all of us, why can't you just sit us down and talk to us about your problems?!"

"Because I can't all right! I don't have someone like you and Maxwell do. I lost the only person I could talk to. We never got along, but we understood one another in the end. I am now stuck talking to her spirit and do you know what I hear? Nothing because she wants me to figure this out on my own! And I can't. I did love Nataku and when I had met Kirei I had fallen in love again, but now she's gone too."

"No she's not."

"Kirei no longer exists. She is now Crystal Tsunami. Her body maybe that of Kirei's, but her mind isn't. the memories we have she will never be able to remember in the presents of others. It hurts, if we do get her back and we run into her mother she won't be able to run up to her and just say 'I love you, mom'. That's why I want to be left alone. Being in my room no one can hurt me like that and by not eating I'll die eventually then I can be with Kirei."

"But her soul's the same. Kirei or Crystal it is still the same person you and I knew as our friend. And I know that Heero and Duo will bring her back here and when they do I want to share with her all that I have done to know what she felt like when she was blind. I want her to know that I understand what people like her go through. I want to go to the park with her and just hang out for awhile. Just being with her makes me realize that we tend to take things for granted. I just want her to know how much she has changed my life."

"But in order to do those things you'll have to leave your room soon or later, right?"

"Only if you leave yours."

"Am I in my room now?" he walked out.

I watched the Chinese pilot walk into the kitchen. I smile a bit seeing first hand how he let out all his anger, but now it seems that he has a better and greater trust in all of us. I walk into the blonde's room. He was sitting in his wheelchair looking out the window. I place a hand on his shoulder, "How do you feel?"

"Better. You know he can seem like he doesn't care at times, but he's there when you need a good slap of reality."

"It's okay to be upset about this, you know that."

"Yeah, but why should I be? The gift of being able to walk was taken from me, but when I think about what I had done to understand Kirei, it made me understand. This isn't a downfall, it's a new beginning. I now can find out what people like me go through each and everyday. The only question I have is, will you still love me?" he took his gaze off the window and looked straight into my eyes digging deep into my soul.

"Forever and always, little one." I kissed the top of his head, "Do you forgive me?"

"Forgive you? Why?"

"Because I couldn't protect you.. ."

"You couldn't help this. I told you once before that your love is all I need to live. I'm alive, aren't I?"

"Very much so." I bent down and placed my lips on top of his.

"Ahem!"

I pulled away and before I turned I saw Quatre blush. I looked at the Chinese boy in the doorway. A few moments ago he looked relieved to have gotten all that anger and sorrow out, but now he looked dead serious. "What's wrong?"

"I just got an email from Crystal. She has taken Yuy and Maxwell captive and has challenged me to a duel." He turned his back to us and took one step from the doorway.

"You're going to fight her?" Quatre asked quietly.

"I have no choice. I have to get our friends out of there and if her soul is still there, perhaps I can reach her.. ." he walked off.

The night had past and now it was mid afternoon. Our three friends have yet to return, but I have hope that they are all safe. I sat in the living room with Quatre playing cards. A slight creek sounded through the house, I stood from my place on the sofa and approached the door carefully. Almost afraid that it was 'Crystal' coming to take us away.

I sighed in relief when I saw the wide-eyed American walking in with his lover close in toe and right behind them was WuFei. He held an unconscious girl in his arms. I couldn't believe my eyes, THIS was Kirei. I followed them into one of the spare rooms.

We waited for a few minutes before the violet-eyed girl awoke. She looked at her surroundings. Her eyes lit up as she flung her arms around the Chinese pilot's neck. I smiled, as did the rest of my teammates. As time passed we learned so much about OZ and Kirei had said that it was wonderful to see what we all looked like without a mental image.

We sat in the living room when a small knock was heard. I open the door and let the woman inside. She looked at WuFei, "Why did you call me here?"

"Miss Tenshi," Quatre spoke softly, "OZ lied to you."

"WuFei, what is he talking about?"

"Kirei never died. She was kidnapped by OZ."

"Are you guys in denial?"

"They're right mother, I'm alive."

The woman's eyes widened. She took a few steps closer to the girl who stood next to the Shenlong pilot. She put her hands on both sides of 'Crystal's' face, "You are my daughter.. ." she hugged her.

"Mama.. ."

"Miss Tenshi, as you may have noticed when you came in that Quatre is in a wheelchair." I stated, placing a hand my love's shoulder.

She pulled away from her daughter, "Yes, I did notice. What happened?"

"I shot him, mom."

"What?!"

"OZ wanted her to kill us. They've had their eyes on her for a long time and seeing that she had ties to us made it all the more interesting for them to watch." Heero said simply.

"But why would they want you?"

"Because I was blind. They took advantage of that and kidnapped me. While in their captivity they had done weird experiments on me thus giving me my eyesight. They wiped my memories of everything so I would kill my five friends without a second thought."

"Why would you boys need to be killed?"

"We're the Gundam pilots." The longhaired boy announced.

"You?"

WuFei nodded, "We were supposed to stop Romefeller and OZ, but now we have a slight problem. With Quatre in the wheelchair he can't fight with us. so now we need Kirei or rather Crystal."

"Crystal is my new identity, mother. I can no longer be Kirei. I just wanted to see you one last time.. ."

"You are not fighting!"

"I have to! It's my fault that Quatre can no longer walk the least I can do for him and the others is pilot Sandrock. You have to understand these guys need me more than you do."

"I'll always love you, Kirei." She pulled her daughter into another embrace.

"I know.. ."

The next few weeks went rather well. Crystal has finally gotten the controls for Sandrock down and Quatre has been writing down all his thoughts on what has happened. Heero and Duo have been getting closer if you know what I mean. They just want to enjoy it while they can, they know as well as I do that the battles will get a lot tougher from here on in. and then there's WuFei who has been showing our new female comrade some martial arts. Although I think after the war he's going to try and start a relationship with her.

They are so alike in some ways. Not even thinking about how they feel towards one another, they keep their minds on the battles to come. I guess it's in the best interest for them because their love will last through out time.

And then there's me. What have I been up to? Just thinking. I took a ring out of my pocket and watch in sparkle in the sunlight. Do you think Quatre will like it? I hope so because I want our bond to last forever. After all I now understand him, body mind and soul.

The End

(*****I'm finished!!!!!!! I love this fic so much and I hope you people enjoyed it as well. Please give me some feedback on this. Send it to quatre_chan5@hotmail.com. I know there is no need for me to sound like Captain Obvious, but I own nothing except the charter Kirei Tenshi/Crystal Tsunami. I hope to see you guys again. Ja!*****)