Funny Quotes!

"There are three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus; he doesn't believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus."
-Bob Philips


"If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all."
-Rodney Dangerfield


"My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."
-Woody Allen


"There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train."
-Unknown


"The cutest kittens have the sharpest claws."
-Unknown


"It's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission."
-Glenn Griffin A.k.a WizWav


"Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done."
-Carl Friedrich Gauss, when told his wife is dying


"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-Bill Gates 1981


"Never tell me the odds."
-Han Solo


"It's not my fault."
-Han Solo


Robin: Holy Kleenex, Batman! It was right under our noses and we blew it!



Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.


Razors pain you. Rivers are damp. Acids stain you and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses give. Gas smells awful; you might as well live.


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