2. I will not try to roll or to lie down in streams while under saddle.
3. I will not try to finagle treats from every person I meet.
4. I will not twitch my tail while someone's cleaning my back feet.
5. I will not take off for unknown parts when my rider falls off.
6. I will not bite my farrier's rear end only because it's there.
7. I will not smear green slime down the front of anyone's clean shirt.
8. I will not leap large, invisible obstacles on a mere whim.
9. I will not let my ears and chin sag, and look 40 when a photographer is taking my picture.
10. I will not blow my nose on any part of any person.
11. I will not pull off my new shoes within 24 hours of their application just to prove I can.
12. I will not eat the barn.
13. I will not nip the rear end of the trail horse in front of me just to say "Howdy."
14. I will not turn 180 degrees in mid-air every time I see a blowing piece of paper.
15. I will not lie flat, with my eyes glazed over and my legs straight out, pretending I can't hear my person yell: "Are you asleep???"
16. I will not have an attitude problem.
Number one would usually be some version of: "Lose weight." I used to resolve to be kinder, more honest. More clever, more farsighted. Less frivolous and less regretful.
As a child, my resolutions were more specific. I would not complain about the gaggy way dog food smelled; I would always do my best work on my homework, even if it meant I didn't have it finished in time to watch Roy and Dale; I would be nicer to the little kids; I would listen very carefully to the long, boring sermons in the adult service at church; I would try not to be such a know-it-all.... But, as I got older, I noticed that a) I never kept any of my New Year's resolutions and, b) the fact that I never succeeded in keeping them depressed me.
So, I made a new New Year's resolution. I make the same one every year, and I keep it with superb success:
"I will not make New Year's resolutions." ~SD
