Sometimes I hate myself. Not the violent slapping and kicking type of hate but... I was at West Mall this afternoon with my mother and I chanced upon this couple playing their instruments for a living. The singing and the little crowd which formed around them roused my curiousity.The lady was singing while her partner played the keyboard accompaniment. The lady held onto the man while she sang her share, each looking pleased, with smiles plastered over their faces. However,it wasn't so much of the singing and the playing which caught my attention. More because they were singing though they were sightless. Inspite of being disabled, they were very contended and at ease with each other. They sang duets, they teased each other, both oblivious to the rest of the world. Oblivious to the countless pairs of eyes staring at them. Though they had this white box with a small slit in front of them, they seemed like they were enjoying what they were doing more than simply sitting them, looking pitiful and asking for donations. In their little ways, within the very short period of time, they brought hope to the crowd. They showed that it was possible for love to reign and love to prevail over everything, even in times like these. They showed us how important it was to derive joy (even the tiniest bit) out of everything we do. They showed me how materialistic I have become. Some say it has all got to do with one's lifestyle. When in Rome, one does like the Romans. Maybe, being in the higher rung of society for 19 years of my life, going to top-notched schools all the time has made me desire more than life's little things. I want a car, I don't crave for fame but I don't want to be at the lower notch of society... I want this and that. That and this. Because of the crowd I hang out/associate with, because of how I have been brought up, materials have somehow assumed a more important part of my life than I wanted it ever to be. I know I want to be simple. I think I can do it. But I know that this is also a passing thought because a couple of days later when the incident becomes a memory, occassionally relived again by re-reading this page, my life will return to normal. I will still spend my money on clothes, I will still eat out. That's why I said sometimes it seems as though its because of the lives we live that make us out to be like that. It's not as if I crave to be materialistic or I want to live lavishly. But sometimes, you just can't help it. Once again, credit can go to God/heaven/whatever you term it, for the strategically located reminders placed throughout our lives-- it looks as if he's attempting to prevent us from being too immersed in our materialistic lifestyle and forget that we are actually the very fortunate class... fortunate to be borned to a comfortable home. At least in my case, because these little cues are that, that bring me down back to earth and realise that there is more than the rat race to contend with and to live for.

0040hrs