| Out, damn vice, Out! Materialism must be one of the greatest evils that snuck out of Pandora's much discussed and dreaded box. ITs mere presence enthralls the world and seem to make most mortals clamour for it. Fast cars and fast cash-- that seems to be the predominant thought of the new millenium. (though strictly speaking, the fad had its roots in the 90s). All around us, we see fellas working their guts out to pay for that latest instalment for their flashy car, or just to save enough to acquire a gadget for no less than show-off purposes. Whatever happened to the maxim of "living life to the fullest" (and while one's at it, enjoying it)? To me, it pains to know that to thrive in the dog-eat-dog world of today, one has to be hypocritical and to an extent, pretencious (while, at least when you are in the working world where realpolitik rule), a rule which I refuse to live by. I try to maintain that little bit of sanity I have left by rebelling against the worldly values, though I know that the price is steep, for the consequences of such actions. At the age of 19, I feel cheated. Cheated by life, cheated by the fairy-taled life that claimed to be waiting while I was still playing dressing up with my dolls and reading the enchanted wood. My beautiful childhood memories of sweetness, innocence and pixies are slowly dismantled by the cruel external social forces. The unwelcomed intruder, M.Realism is penetrating through my weak defence, which has never been strengthened since I never thought there was a need for protection from anything. The shelter that my parents painstakingly built to house me have to go, sooner or later. I am required to wake up from my dream, most unwillingly. I still don't want to let go of the most-treasured images of the deep orange sunset which I have had the luxury of enjoying everyday, in exchange for the sight of cold cash. Cash will make me have to stay late into the night, often greeted by the dark gloomy sky as I return home. I'll miss the sun, and even the stars that illuminate the otherwise bleak and gory scene would not be able to make up for it. I beg for simplicity and naivety to remain, and temptation with vice to stay out! I would relish all material comforts just as to retain a golden, untainted heart.... Here I am, all of 19, stubbornly refusing Realism entrance into my heart. I face laughter, sneers and queer looks, but I want to fight with all my might! Shields out, swords clash! I fight and fight and fight... It might be a losing battle but I'll go on and on, the fire in my heart burning everlastingly, just so I can retain a bit of humanity... " The trouble of the rat race is that even if you win, You are still a rat." ...Lily Tomlin ******* Kai 2001 |