"She's going to walk in, use her Jedi mind powers, and say, 'What the f**** is this?' " --Pete, about Eka's mom (Wilbo) "Naps are your new best friend. Get really close to them, and then sleep with them." (Paul B.) "Immaturity is the inability to employ one's own intelligence without being directed by someone else." --Kant (AJ) "When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 [degrees] Celcius. The Russians used a pencil..."(Pete) "Pete, I am going to non-violently kill you!"--Wilbo (Pete) "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society." --Mark Twain (Rhi) "And dying when you're not really sick is really sick, you know. Really." --Better Off Dead (Molly) "Please excuse Andrea for being absent January 28th, 29th, 30th, 31st, 32nd, and 33rd." --Absence letter (Rhi) "Those shemales bother me, shemales in general don't bother me, just the ones on my computer." --Wilbo (Chris) "Hey Will, the nomadic gnome tribe under my bed is joining forces with the rats in the closet." --Chris (Pete) "Just because I've never met you in person but I know what's in your room and where you live doesn't make me a stalker." --JG (Wilbo) "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." --Mark Twain (Erika) "If you really want to know when you should take your pie out of the oven for your dinner party...Just do this. Julia Child's Differential Equations." --Earl (Audra) "We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is marred only by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read." --Mark Twain (Rhi) "If you see a naked Swede walking down the hall, don't be alarmed." (Pete) Chris: I'm really sick right now. Will: Maybe you should stop drinking soap. Chris: But I like it too much (Wilbo) "Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flamethrower." --Bruce Feirstein (Molly) Professor: "What are some reasons why they make recruits make their beds in the army?" Sideburns: "Maybe they make their beds as intimidation?? Like if the enemy captures their barracks, and sees how well their beds are made, and say, 'Hey, these guys are psycho. We should give their barracks back!'..." (Pete) "It was an intellectual orgasm." (Courtney) "What if Mr. T didn't pity the fool...?" (Lindsay) "YO! We don't pay for electricity, so I am never gonna turn my lights out now." --Chris (Pete) "The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it." --PJ O'Rourke (Rhi) "Ha! You didn't count on my loyal army of prostitutes, did you?" (Wilbo) "Man, I hope those rugby players didn't leave rugby in the shower." (Pete) "Bill Clinton's smurf name would be Pimpin' Smurf." (Rhi) Pete: The ACLU fights for everything and everyone. Micaah: Even for you to have sex, Peter Pete: Hey, they didn't ban that yet! (Pete) "Now, a bitch that gives head like the antidote is in it, now that is cool!" (Pete) "We should take a road trip to New Hampshire and knock over a bank." (Chris) "I am so sorry. I'll go to the Pulse, I'll dance with 50 guys, I won't go down on the bouncer though." --Wilbo (Audra) |
| RWU Quotes |