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	It was prophetic that that career should have taken off by playing a character requiring so much makeup the public couldn't recognize the actor; and that the role was about a thoughtful boy at odds with his exterior. Stoltz is exactly that, only the opposite. His boy-next-door looks belie a restless, creative soul. After talking to him for a while, his affable charm seems like the white-picket-fence curb appeal for a house with some quirky interiors. Stoltz has played a range of characters, from Victorian-era tutor to drug-addled murderer, in films that include Pulp Fiction, Rob Roy, Sleep with Me, Little Women and House of Mirth. He has done indie films (The Waterdance; Bodies, Rest & Motion) as well as theatre. In 1989, he was nominated for a Tony and a Drama Desk Award for his work in Our Town on Broadway. In 2001, he made his feature directorial debut with My Horrible Year!, a children's film, for which he was also executive producer. One of the liabilities of fame, he rightly points out, is that his list of girlfriends has been as carefully compiled as his filmography: Jennifer Jason Leigh (1985 to 1989), Sensibility and Sense co-star Lili Taylor (1990), Bridget Fonda (1990 to 1998) and Australian actress Rachel Griffiths (1999), among others. "It's very weird. Any serious or failed relationship I've ever had is up for scrutiny," he says. We tiptoed onto the topic of his love life, when discussing his new work, Out of Order, a new Showtime series that premiered on Movie Central and The Movie Network last week and continues with four more episodes over the next month. Written from the point of view of a screenwriter, it explores the long-term marriage of Mark (Stoltz) and Lorna (Felicity Huffman), capturing both its moments of tenderness and wrenching difficulty. Lorna is manic-depressive. "Don't let it trick you," Stoltz's character tells his wife when she is clinically depressed. "I'm on your side," he sweetly tells her. In another scene, in a van, as they discuss a woman, Danni (Kim Dickens) whom he is attracted to and later has an affair with, Lorna says, "She's not that good looking. Her lips come together funny." "She's nice, that's all," he says. With all its careful pausing and stiff phrasing, the dialogue, written by the screenwriting husband-and-wife team of Donna and Wayne Powers, brilliantly portrays the real and hidden emotions of marriage. "It's clearly the work of people who have been in mature, struggling relationships and are dealing with love and lust and success and failure and parenting," Stoltz says. Marriage has long fascinated him: "I think people invented the institution to control the heart and I don't know if that's open to legislation." His grandparents were married for 70 years, and his parents, both schoolteachers, were together for 43 years until his mother died a few years ago. "It was good and bad," he says of his experience of his parents' union. "My understanding of marriage is that you do it, and you make it last. I think that might have prevented me from diving in with some of my relationships. "I don't have a lot in common with the guy in Out of Order," Stoltz continues in his deliberate manner of speech. "But I have been in love, I have been in long-term relationships and I have been in love with manic-depressive women. So I could bring a lot to the table." The scenes in which he and Huffman argue were the most fun. "It's rare to have rich, brutal material to really tear at each other," he says. "Most characters want to be loved or to be charming or to be polite." He admits that some of the excitement of acting has waned for him. "What was once magic is now not so enticing. I have seen the man behind the curtain," he says, sounding suddenly melancholic. Then comes the admission. "I have been in therapy for years," he tells me. "To help me find more meaning and value in my life." There's ennui to fame? He nods. Isn't that where marriage and family can help? Stoltz lives on a ranch in New Mexico with two mutts and a cat. "I do have a longing for kids and family," he confesses. "I'm not sure if that's because I'm in my 40s or because work is no longer as thrilling or fulfilling to me," he trails off. Geez, Stoltz doesn't need marriage. His relationship with fame and success is complex enough. Sometimes I think this column should be called Talk Therapy.