Chapter One – Timing is Everything
by Shiloh
The way home from the supermarket was familiar, she was on autopilot. Distracted by her nagging thoughts, Lily didn’t notice the dog dart across the road until it was almost too late. Simultaneously braking and swerving, she narrowly missed the mutt. She pulled over to the curb, shaken. Her initial feelings of relief of not killing the poor creature were quickly replaced by annoyance. The groceries were strewn all over the back of the SUV, and the eggs, oh, the eggs! It took several minutes to bag everything again and even more precious time to dig for McDonald napkins to deal with the scrambled goo and eggshells. Glancing at her watch she thought, ‘Running late again, story of my life.’ She pulled into her driveway, noticing the car parked out front. It was one of those hybrids.
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The meeting with Ms. Gonzales had just concluded. Once again, Grace was outstanding in her effort and the vice-principal praised her presentation. Grace grabbed her things to leave.
“Thank you Ms. Gonzales, we really...”-- Grace sailed past her teacher as he was speaking--“...appreciate it.” She escaped out the door, never meeting his eyes, never acknowledging him.
Vexed, the teacher followed her into the hall, and in a louder than normal voice called after her. “Grace?” No answer, no response. She was no longer listening to him, no longer speaking to him, and he was dismayed to realize how much this effected him. Without ever isolating a single finger, she efficiently and eloquently managed to convey ‘screw you’ with a shrug of her coat. Mr. Dimitri stared after her.
The vice-principal spoke as she was leaving, “She’s really quite something, isn’t she?”
With a faint smile that never reached his concerned eyes, “Yes” he softly answered.
Grace walked past the line of yellow metal and diesel exhaust. The afternoon sun had melted the ice in the parking lot. You could tell the road was wet by the sound of the car tires on it. Just as she knew the car pulling up behind her was his, by the sound of it. She stopped, taking a deep breath before turning to face him. He captured her with his gaze, his ‘Enough’ gaze. No pleasantries exchanged, no asking her if she’d like a ride. No escaping this time as she had in the classroom. Saved by the bell, no need to answer. As she had after the meeting. No need to acknowledge him, just do the pitch and leave. Nowhere to run. Defeated, she exhaled the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Her shoulders sagged. ‘Funny how things turn’, she thought, last night the teacher was who she most wanted to be with, now this person was the last. Grace walked to the car, opening the passenger door. Recalling a line from Winterdance, “Sometimes you have to dance even when the music sucks”, she inhaled deeply, and quietly slipped in.
In complete contrast to previous ride with their comfortable conversation, the tangible silence enveloped and isolated them. Their easy companionship squelched by awkwardness in this uncharted territory. No talking (keep the secret), no radio (just destiny), the uncomfortable silence the single thing to hear.
The teacher shifted his car into park on the street outside her house. The road was quiet. It was early and people were not yet arriving home from work. A silent pause before Mr. Dimitri tried another approach to mend his connection to his student, to mend his fences, the lines not to be crossed. His attempt to keep things on the student/teacher level last night did not have the effect he had hoped for, and all subsequent approaches proved unsuccessful. After prodding her for the John Donne poem, setting up the Gay/Straight Alliance funding meeting and the meeting itself, he was still left trying to regain his elusive footing with her. ‘Let’s keep things on a professional and non-antagonistic level shall we?’ he thought to himself. He turned his head to look at her. He chose his words carefully, speaking nothing to inflame.
“Thanks, for doing such a great job today. You were very persuasive.”
“I don’t even know what I said.” Grace answered, looking straight ahead.
“Well, trust me, because of what you said the, the Gay/Straight Alliance will get the funding to have that dance”, smiling unconvincingly.
Still looking ahead, “I don’t care about the stupid dance.” She turned, looking him challengingly in the eye. “I don’t care about the Gay/Straight Alliance!”
A pause, “I know you don’t”, barely audible as he studied the brake pedal. ‘So much for non-inflammatory, so much for avoiding dangerous ground’ he thought grimacing.
Faltering, she looked away, but regained her courage and his own advice came back to haunt him. She said the thing she was most afraid to say, to the person she was most afraid to say it to. “What else do you know?”
The conversation was not going at all in the direction he planned. He tried to steer it to safer ground. “I know that you took”, looking at her, “my book.”
Grace turned back to him expecting a reprimand, and breathed a small sigh of relief when it didn’t come.
“Stupid of me not to let you just borrow it, but the thing is, Grace, we’re... not...friends.
With an embarrassed smile, “I know that.”