Soft whispers of love, tender caresses, and lingering memories of tastes and smells filled the night. The room still echoed with the last of their cries of passion. Fingers still laid buried deep within, a desperate need to remain united, connected. Heaving bodies slowly calming down, the light sheen of sweet evaporating, leaving goose bumps in it's wake. Yet, still, promises could not be made. It was the only storm that could be felt despite the love and pleasure that was so abundant. Tomorrow, she would try again
"I thought you had left all of this fighting and killing behind. Why can't you please stay and defend your own kingdom instead of running off to save far lands? You have nothing to prove anymore." Xena said, pleaded actually, as she watched in dismay while the conqueror got ready to leave for battle, following behind her in her haste to stop the unstoppable. This time, she knew it was serious.
"I've worked hard to get where I am, I'm not about to let someone come take it away." Gabrielle answered, busy handling several things at once.
A stream of soldiers followed them around the castle, carrying out orders as they were dispatched. It looked like chaos. Everyone was preparing for war.
She turned around abruptly to face the taller woman. "I'm leaving now. You'll be left with some of my best soldiers, so you should be pretty safe. Besides, I've seen you fight, I've no doubt you could handle anything that happens." Gabrielle turned away continuing to issue out some more instructions, not imagining she'd be disobeyed.
"I'm not staying."
The words, although they were hardly said above a whisper, amidst the sounds of soldiers, stopped Gabrielle in mid sentence. Actually, it had also stopped the soldiers close enough to have heard it . They knew the impact those words were having, as they noticed the reddening face of the conqueror.
Gabrielle turned around to face the queen. "If you think you're coming with me, you've lost your mind. This is my battle. Plus I need you here to rule in my absence. You shouldn't have any problems. Everyone respects and obeys you." Angry green eyes flashed at hurt filled blue ones.
The tension and silence hung thickly between them, making those around them nervous, not sure of what would happen next.
"If you follow through with this senseless war, I won't be here when and if you get back." After she said it, her heart started to be so loudly, Xena thought everyone could hear it, it was beating wildly. She had just come to that decision on the spot, unthinking. Now she waited for the results. What should have been a private conversation, had now become a public black monster for all to see. It hadn't been intentional, their spats were kept in private for the sake of maintaining order. But no matter how hard she had tried to corner the smaller woman to talk to her, she kept being pushed away, told that they would speak later. Well, Xena thought wryly, later never came, so this is what she gets.
Gabrielle was speechless. She knew she just did not hear those words. She silently looked all around her, sending out a voiceless command to be left alone. She was livid. "Are you threatening me, Xena?" She hissed.
Xena sighed. Of all the answers she had been expecting, that was definitely not one of them. "Is that all you care about? If I'm threatening you? Do you care about what I said or are you just worried that I dared go against one of your wishes? I'm not one of your little underlings. By the gods, I am your consort." Xena paused. She was getting angrier as the words spilled from her mouth, steadily raising her voice. "I am your equal, Gabrielle. Have you forgotten?"
Xena turned away, fists clenched tightly. This was not the way she had wanted to handle this. Her heart already knew where this was going.
A soft voice answered. "No, I haven't forgotten. It seems, though...that you have forgotten who I am and what I do."
Running footsteps distracted Gabrielle from continually staring at Xena's back.
"My Lord, everything is in place, we are ready to move out."
"Thank you. Go back and wait for my orders."
"Yes, my Lord." A quick bow and the young man was gone.
The conqueror turned back. She didn't know what to say. She knew she couldn't back down. Of that she was certain, but she wasn't certain whether it was her pride or her greed that kept her from doing it. "Don't make me leave with this on my head." A stretch of silence. "Xena, you can't leave me." To her surprise, she felt tears running down her face. She couldn't remember the last time she'd cried.
Xena finally turned around. Completely taken back, by the choking sound she had heard, and now the grief stricken look on the face of her love. "But you can?" She forced out in a croak. Pain gripping her heart, she knew the answer .
"I love you."
Xena walked away. Gabrielle's final words echoing loudly in her head. She feared it would be last time she would hear those 3 words. She was leaving.
Xena sat looking out the semi open window like she'd done for the last 3 moons straight. She inhaled the smell of wet earth that rain brings and cried, tears mingling with the occasional drop of rain that fell on her face. Wondering. She missed Gabrielle incredibly and the reports that Ovid personally still brought to her were not good at all. The good Ovid. She knew he felt she was wrong in leaving Gabrielle, but he understood. He still respected her title and believed she should be kept informed of all activities. Every few days, he would stop by to see if she was ok and to bring her some news.
Since her departure, the castle had practically fallen to ruins. There was no order, no civility, no reason for anything. The people too, had gotten reports that the conqueror was not doing well. Gabrielle had suffered massive losses, but was still unwilling to give in.
Xena knew it would only be a matter of time before these lands would fall too. Groups had already filtered into the area trying to reinforce their stronghold once the kingdom was up for grabs. She thought about one of their leaders, Danae. She had tried to convince Xena to use her inside knowledge of the castle for the greater good of the people, her people, to stop the wars. But wouldn't that be betrayal?
A knock on the door brought her out of her musings. Xena quickly wiped her face clean. That was probably her now. She got up and walked to the door.
Danae quickly walked in from the storm, taking off her cloak so that she could set it by the fire to dry. Once done, she turned around, instantly noticing the tear streaked face and choosing to ignore it.
"Xena, we're getting ready to enter the castle tonight. I figured we should let you know." Danae stood there, patiently waiting. She knew this wasn't an easy thing to hear. "This storm should cover our activities pretty well." She added, trying to fill the silence that had developed. Xena was just standing there staring into the fire.
Xena walked back to the window, watching the lightning as it flashed across the sky. She knew she should have expected this, but it was still shocking. She didn't know how she felt about it. Once the castle fell, she knew it would all be over, and the conqueror would fall. She could prevent it all from happening. Xena knew it had gotten worse because of her departure. She could just go back and restore order. Xena felt arms encircle her waist, and warmth surround her.
Danae felt the body she was holding tense up against her. Hades, even after all this time, she hadn't been able to get far with the dark haired woman. Every time she touched her, her body would become rigid. Her love for that 'conqueror' was too great. "Xena." Danae sighed and buried her face in the jet black hair, taking in the scent, trying to commit it to memory. "I know you love her, but I can't help the way I feel about you."
Part 2
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