2/11/01: Five Things
I thought you should know the following.
1. Some genius somewhere decided to renumber the Narnia series.
You remember those books, right? Please say you do....
1. The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
2. Prince Caspian
3. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
4. The Silver Chair
5. A Horse and His Boy
6. The Magician's Nephew
7. The Last Battle
In that bloody order. They renumbered it thus:
1. The Magician's Nephew
2. The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
3. A Horse and His Boy
4. Prince Caspian
5. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
6. The Silver Chair
7. The Last Battle
Now this pisses me off. Let me explain.
The first order is the order in which CS Lewis wrote these books. The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe introduces you to the land of Narnia, and the subsequent books revisit and enlarge it. They're all very good books, except for The Silver Chair, which I recall with distaste and which, naturally, is the only one of the series which I can ever find lying around.
Now, the second order is the order in which the books take place. But reading them in that order is no fun! You should first come to know Narnia, and later on find out how it came to be, who the Professor is, why the Wardrobe was magical, where the Lamppost came from, etc. I can sort of understand moving A Horse and His Boy up on the list, because it takes place sort of within the story of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. But dammit! It pisses me off.
When I have kids, I'm going to make them read these books in the order they were written! I have half a mind to write to the publishing company and say, "Yo? What up with this, yo?" or something to that effect. But the other half of my mind is devoted to Daphne, what's for dinner, Sailor Moon, and boys, in that order, and thusly I fear I won't.
2. They're dumbing down Dido.
Not that Dido is all that technically confusing, mind you. Oh no. Her album is not all that great, but yet, sometimes I feel I must listen to it, and I keep thinking how I should stop but I can't. Anyway. The song "Thank You" was on Z100 this morning -- and here I must explain what Z100 is and why on earth I was listening to it.
Z100 is the local "hit music" station. They play trendy music -- top 40 and random semi-oldies, including such golden oldies as "The Boy is Mine" and "Torn", along with lots of indistinguishable dance music and the occasional New Wave hit. That said, I'm not a big fan. But sometimes I want to listen to the radio just to sort of keep me company, and every once in a while I get sick of NewsRadio 880. So.
So "Thank You" was on Z100 this morning, and I realized that instead of the second verse of the song, they played the first verse, twice. The first verse is the part that was sampled by Eminem, the part that starts "My tea's gone cold again, I wonder why I got out of bed at all..." The second verse is about how she isn't happy at work and stuff -- and they didn't play it. Why? Is it too hard to understand? Urgh!
3. Boston's Tea is made in New Jersey.
I got this cheap tea which is pretty tasty, actually -- it's Boston's brand -- and it says on the bottom, Boston Tea Products Co., Secaucus, New Jersey.
Oh oblivion, please descend and carry me away.
4. They wouldn't leave me alone.
So I'm cooking Chicken Cordon Bleu, and I need wine, so I go the liquor store to pick out a cheap bottle of white. I know I look young; I wouldn't dream of trying to buy alcohol without an ID. I'm 22 and look maybe 18. They can ask for ID at checkout, at which point I will provide it; and that should be that. I don't deserve to be positively harrassed the entire time I'm at the store, do I?
Ah, but this is what happenned. It's a big store, and I couldn't make it aisle to aisle without being asked if I need help. Meanwhile, everyone else was allowed to wander about and look at the bottles. I wouldn't have minded a "Would you like help picking out a bottle?" or something like that -- but I kept getting that "May I help you?" that really means, "What are you doing here?" I'm sure you've heard it in your life.
Finally, when the fifth person said it, I said, "Do you want me to leave?" The man looked confused. I said, "I've noticed that everyone here has been following me and bugging me, and you've been leaving the other customers alone. Is there a problem with me? Do you want me to take my business elsewhere? Because I will." Nothing like a good stare-down from a short, but very determined girl. Freaks 'em out every time. He said, "I'm sorry, Miss," and kind of wandered away. Then I could look at the wine bottles in peace.
I went for one with a pretty label, in case you're wondering. I'm a sucker for packaging.
5. "Hey, Loretta? Just to let you know,
I just got an e-mail, and you know that big project you've been working on for Thursday? Well, yeah, we kind of need it done by close-of-business today, preferably about 4:30, is that okay? I'll just touch base with you in a few hours, okay? Alrighty, bye-bye."