3/01/01: The New Goal
Okay, so I wasn't going to tell you guys this, in case I change my mind, but here I am, telling you anyway. I feel like it's impossible that I'll change my mind, but I guess it isn't. Don't make fun of me too much if I change my mind.
The other night I was lying in bed, tossing and turning. I was exhausted and all, yes, but not sleeping, and suddenly something was clear and shining in my head: The Appalachian Trail.
The Appalachian Trail, for those who don't know, is a trail that runs through the eastern mountains, from Georgia to Maine. It's about 2,150 miles long, which makes it the longest connected wilderness trail in the world. Hiking the whole thing, start to finish, all at once, is called "thru-hiking" it. That's what I want to do. I want to thruhike the Appalachian Trail.
Call me crazy. You're crazy! But I swear to goddess, it's the only thing I want to do. Ever since the idea occurred to me I've pretty much been thinking about nothing else. It's almost like being in love. I don't think I have an option anymore -- I have to do it.
Let me tell you a little about what it would entail, and why I want to do it. Next April, as in, April 2002, I would head down to Georgia, I guess by train or plane or whatever. I will then hike north along the trail, stopping at shelters along the way, going into towns to buy supplies and pick up mail drops. A lot of the time it will rain. When it's not a steep uphill, it will be a steep downhill. There will be bears and rattlesnakes and skunks. I'll have to carry about 30 pounds on my back. If I average a little more than 12 miles a day, I'll be sure to get to Maine by the end of September.
This obviously will require a lot of planning. I'll need to either get a leave of absence from my job or just quit it, which is a decision I'll have to ponder. I'll have to either try to work out a subletting scheme for my apartment, or just move out. This is all dependent on my plans for the future. I mean, what do I really want to do with my life? Maybe I'm just sick of New York City. Maybe I want to go somewhere else so much that I can't even take it anymore. Maybe this next year here will be my last.
OK: so now you want to know why I want to do this. I guess that's a little hard to explain. I did part of the trail ages ago, when I was 15, at summer camp, and I loved it. And it was always in the back of my head to do it. And I do like to push myself in weird ways. Like, I just decide to do something weird and then I do it. I wanted to buy a guitar and I bought it and taught myself to play. I saw a sign that said, "do you want to go to greece?" and there was no hesitation, I just said, "yes, yes I do" -- and I went. Sometimes something becomes totally clear in my mind and I have to do it. I don't know why.
I do know that the minute the idea of doing the AT came to me, it was like that feeling when you finally get comfortable in your bed, only it was me getting comfortable in my mind, and I could finally sleep.