5/23/02: Some Tales From the Trenches
Story #1: Just like in that movie when that happened
I work at an educational company. Sometimes we have live lectures in the auditorium, where big, important people come and speak to a crowd. For a while I worked with these lectures, helping out the speakers and making sure that the microphone was on and everything like that. The speakers wear these wireless microphones so that they can move around the room and not worry about anything.
One night one of the students spoke to me during the break. “Loretta?” he said. “Can you remind the speaker that he should turn off his microphone while he’s using the bathroom?”
Of course, I never said a word. Would you have?
Story #2: Someday you’ll make a brilliant doctor
A lot of our students/clients are doctors or aspiring doctors. One night one of them asked me where she could find a ATM. I told her there was one in such-and-such a deli to the left of the building, and one in the such-and-such deli to the right. I told her they were equidistant. She said, “Okay, but which one’s closer?”
Story #3: No, I said they were ALL full.
A lot of our students just watch videos we have in the center. We have a VCR reservation policy, wherein the students can reserve a spot up to 24 hours in advance. Many times students want a particular seat – C26, or maybe B9. Sometimes these favorite seats are in the corner of the room, or under a window, or have a new TV set. Usually students at the very least want a particular room – A, B, C, D, or E. In the morning, we’re flooded with calls and usually we’re pretty much booked up for the next day by noon or 1 pm.
Invariably, someone will call at around 3 or 4 and ask for one of the popular seats. “B9,” they say. “B library is completely full,” I say. “There’s only room in D-library.” “What about B3?” the person asks. “No, B library is completely full, every single seat.” “B12?” the person asks – a note of hope in his voice. At that point I am forced to say, “B1 is taken. B2 is taken. B3 is taken….” And go all the way to B12. “Do you want a seat in D library?” “Well… isn’t there any room in A?” So I say, “You have seat D-like-dog 19, buh-bye.”
Story #4: Procedure One-Alpha
I was walking to the subway after work and thinking to myself about things that bothered me about work, wondering how I could be surrounded by so much pettiness and so much cruelty when I’m supposed to be in education and then I realized I was violating Procedure One-Alpha: No Thinking About Work When Not At Work. Quick rap on the wrist for breaking the rule, and I chose something new to think about. Developing telekenisis, redecorating my apartment, dying my hair blue, and moving to Costa Rica.
If you don’t like your job, may I recommend implementing Procedure One-Alpha? I think it has a way of really improving your life. Wait, crap, I’m thinking about work right now. Whack on the wrist.
Hmm…. Maybe I should paint my ceiling light blue with white fluffy clouds.