9/02/02: On Not Being in Love

It occurs to me that I'm not in love with anyone right now. I think at any given point in my life, even if I'm not dating anyone, I've been in love with someone - starting when I was five years old. But search my soul as I might, I can't scrape up anything for anyone right now. Don't get me wrong -- I love a lot of people. I'm just not in love with anyone (unless you count the Prodigals, but I don't think that counts). It's strange. But it feels good. The way you don't know how good it is to have a head that doesn't hurt until you get a headache and get better from it. Suddenly, I have room in my brain for other things.

Those of you who follow my adventures might be wondering: do I still love my ex-boyfriend? The one who ran off to Greece and never spoke to me again? Well, I guess maybe a part of me still loves him. I think it's the part of me between my shoulder blades. When I wake up in the middle of the night, my back between my shoulder blades really misses him. Sometimes the back of my neck misses him, too. But really, the rest of me is just fine.

This is kind of neat. Bring it on, life. I dare you.

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