CONFLICTS OF THE HEART


Heart of steel, Mind of Gold
It pains me to let go of you,
Yet it harms me worse
to keep a firm hold


Life is such that at times
it may perplex your mind
You and me
mystifies my understanding
My feelings for you are overwhelming,
they can’t be confined


Try to get over, get past it
and move on
That’s the hardest thing to do,
especially when you don’t want to
Easier said than done


I hope my time
has not been spent in vain
I hope time hasn’t been wasted
I hope only caring thoughts
of me in your heart remain


Hope - Wish - Pray - Believe 
Maybe a miracle
I tell myself in a quiet place
Part of me wants
to store you in my heart for life
The other part wishes
it all could be erased
without a trace


I want, I yearn,
I need the presence of an authentic man
I miss the communication,
the sustenance we shared
I must keep focus
that maybe We
weren’t meant in God’s Plan

Re-evaluate, recover, and release
These steps are vital
for my healing
But where do I start?
Can you help me please?


Just to get by one day,
takes so much effort and restraint
To purposefully not converse
and not share thoughts
and aspirations with you 
Gives me a blankness,
a vacancy, must I continue
with complaints


I suppose the best consolation
there could be
Is for you to experience
the sensation and compassion
that I have for you
That your love of
and for someone will be as intense
and as consuming,
even if it’s not for me


I pray your heart of steel
one day is liquefied
and overflows with devotion,
tenderness and attraction
I pray you’ll be cautious
when determining the virtuous woman
to become your help meet
I pray you’ll never
have to encounter the confusion
and despair of rejection


Your mind of Gold is irreplaceable,
exceptional and indispensable
You were created
to influence and to enlighten
My reminiscences of you
are enchanting, abundant,
enduring, and irrepressible


I will heal,
in time, I will recover
But you can’t help
but to acknowledge
We could have possibly
had a Utopia like no other


Melanie

 



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7/22/00