Tom and Cheryl
Today provides a perfect opportunity
for Tom & I to celebrate,
and publicly recognize,
two important areas of our lives.
The first area is obvious
A Celebration of Us
The second area isn't so obvious.
A celebration of friends and family
important relationships that have
brought value to our lives
and contributed to who we are
and how we arrived here.
Unlike a twenty-something couple,
Tom & I enter into our marriage
in the middle of our lives,
having separately experienced
many major life-altering events.
achieving adult independence
participating in war
establishing careers
bringing children into the world
parenting
divorce
illness
death
These events, our histories,
have uniquely contributed to,
and define, who we are as individuals.
Who did we share
our triumphs and tragedies,
successes and failures with?
Who was there?
Who helped us cope?
We shared with You.
Some of you have been there
since the beginning,
others not quite as long.
So who are you. . .?
Our Parents
Our Siblings
Our Friends
Our Children
You were there when we glowed
in the triumphs of our successes . . .
our babies were born
we graduated from college
we got the big deal
or the new job
You also bore witness
through the hard times, . . .
when illness invaded
we let someone down
when we experienced divorce
our hearts were broken
or the death of a parent
as we struggled through dating,
adapting to single life and loneliness
and when we felt defeated
And your response.
You shared
your time
a phone call, a kind word
a belly laugh
a beer
a walk in the woods
girl talk
a good cry
You were there . . .
Not that we expected you to be . . .
Or believed you could solve our problems,
mend our wounds or heal our hearts.
But you listened and you loved us.
So today presents
a wonderful opportunity - to,
not only celebrate the joy
we have found in each other,
but to publicly acknowledge,
thank and celebrate you.
The relationships we have with you
have significantly contributed to
who we are, what we value,
and what we find valuable.
We want you to know that.
Thank you for being there.
Thank you for being our friends.
But most of all,
thank you for loving us.
Today is also the first time
since the death of our mother.
12 years ago,
that my father and his children,
yes 10 of them
(which I will fondly reference as the HERD)
have been in the same place
at the same time.
I'd like to share a few comments
with, and about, family.
Although, I didn't do a survey
or take a poll,
Dad - I'm confident
I speak for all your children.
You have always been a quiet,
humble man - never seeking
the spotlight or center stage . . .
so I recognize
this may be a little uncomfortable
but I know you will humor me
when I make
the following public comments,
if for no other reason
than because you love me!
It just keeps getting better.
When I was little I loved you so much . . .
I thought I would explode.
I couldn't imagine
that it could get much better.
I was wrong.
In the middle of my life,
not only do I glow in a father's love,
you are also one of my best friends.
I'm not sure how you've done it Dad,
especially with the herd of 10.
But you have. You've been there
Every time, Kind,
Compassionate, Supportive.
Even when you saw me
headed in directions
that was not in my best interest.
Not only did you allow me
to make my own choices,
when I hit the pavement face first,
you helped me up
without criticism or judgment.
I respect and honor you Dad, for . .
your steadfast commitment
to our family &
each of us individually
decades of hard work and
the integrity you've displayed
not only through your words
but your actions.
Twelve years after the death of our mother,
I am pleased to observe.
Your family has arrived -
and it's a direct result
and reflection of you.
We are all adults now
(finally) with our own unique set
of strengths and weaknesses,
similarities and differences.
In spite of our differences,
our family has never been closer
or gotten along better.
You have been able to generate
a positive synergy within our family
by your actions which consistently
reflect your values and who you are
humor, inclusiveness, commitment
respect, genuine concern
compassion and tolerance
As a member of the family,
I want you to know
YOU'VE MADE A DIFFERENCE
and we, your children,
collectively and individually, honor you.
My Children
Ben, Dan and Leah
Like many parents, I frequently stand
in awe of my children.
They never cease to amaze me.
I recently saw a movie - The Story of Us
in which Michelle Pfiffer
made a comment describing
the unbelievable wonder of becoming a parent. .
"FIRST THERE WERE NO PEOPLE,
THAN THERE WERE PEOPLE.
REAL LIVE WONDERFUL PEOPLE
AND WE MADE THEM."
Two thoughts popped into my head
when I heard this.
Unfortunately, we were all
so naïve' prior to kids.
Most of us didn't have a clue,
let alone a plan.
And we sure didn't recognize
that a miracle
was about to occur in our lives.
We actually played a role
in creating and bringing REAL people,
unique, freethinking, spirits into the world.
The second thing that occurred to me was
we had no idea of the depth
and breadth of our lifelong feelings,
commitment and care and concern for our children.
We had no idea our children
would influence our every decision
and behavior and this commitment
would last a lifetime.
In my wildest dreams I could not have imagined
the impact my three children Ben, Dan and Leah
yes, you three characters would have on my life.
What a miracle
and a joy each of you are for me.
And I want you to know
I will always be there,
I will always love you
NO MATTER WHAT.
I could not be prouder
of the wonderful human beings
you have grown to be.
The Herd
I have 4 brothers and 5 sisters.
You guys are great!
I want to be the first to publicly proclaim
I wouldn't trade in
my card-carrying membership
in our exclusive club for all the tea in China.
Thank you all for being here
I'm honored.
So finally . . .
we arrive at the other reason to celebrate
I've been single for a long time
just under a decade.
For the record - being single is hard
being a solo parent is even harder.
About 3 or 4 years ago, I concluded
that I would probably be single
for the rest of my life.
Finding a comfortable partner
just didn't seem to be in the cards
and marriage wasn't even on my radar screen.
Now, don't get me wrong.
I didn't view my set of life circumstances
as being sentenced to death.
I had my priorities and felt satisfied
that I was making progress
and keeping my head above water.
I focused on my kids,
job and family
AND WORKED LIKE A FOOL
AND, LIFE GOES ON.
Every now and again, I'd date,
what seemed like one moron or another,
and reaffirm for myself
why I was GRATEFUL to be single.
Then out of the blue - I met YOU.
What a NICE GUY!
YOU even liked snotty-nosed kids.
It's hard to put into words
how Tom & I intimately connect.
We have strong shared values in
commitment to our children, family & friends
loyalty
politics
work ethic
Our differences:
I have a much faster metabolic rate.
I am very organized
and have always been considered
"Type A".
Tom meanders, putters
and always takes time to smell the roses.
So how do I feel . . .
Not only do I love you. . . . .
I like you.
I enjoy being with you.
You're fun and funny.
When I'm with you,
I feel needed,
valued, respected and cared for
all at the same time - it's amazing!
Not only do You honor me,
You respect what's important to me
and participate with a smile on your face.
And if all that isn't enough,
we always have fun together.
Whether it's stopping at Pete's,
watching Willie Nelson in the rain
or renting videos on a Saturday night.
IT JUST DOESN'T
GET BETTER THAN THIS.
I believe we have created
such a wonderful friendship
because we recognize each other's strengths
and our differences
but rather than viewing them
with a jaundiced or critical eye,
we respect, appreciate
and accommodate our differences, creating . . .
the wonder of us.
Tom - When I count my blessings,
I COUNT YOU TWICE,
and I am honored to be your wife.
Author: Cher
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