| Biography: Life of Dr. MacDonnell |
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| Born June 1, 1983. Brandon MacDonnell came into this world knowing that he had a specific purpose. By the age of 5, he was assisting classmates with problems such as the alphabets, bed wetting, and how to use their childish smile to get there way with teachers and parents alike. When he matured into a young adult, he suddenly got a really good tan and his hair began to "mop" over like a Beatle. He worked as a telemarketer, suckering people out of their money inable to put his self through Advice Columnist School. After graduating with honours, he did some part time work with Dear |
| Abbey, but she was just a slut he would bone to improve his career. He soon then decided that taking the internet route and helping todays youth would be the way to go. And thats how you found yourself here. |
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| ACHIEVEMENTS |
| * ALL AROUND BEST ADVISOR 1997 * ETHNIC MAN OF THE YEAR 1997 * APPEARED IN PLAYGIRL 1998 * EDITED FOR DEAR ABBEY 1998 * BANGED DEAR ABBEY 1998-1999 * BECAME A PROUD MEMBER FOR AA 2000 * DESIGNED A TEENAGE WEBSITE 2003 |
| Past Problem Patients |
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| These are the past teenage patients that Dr. MacDonnell had to work with using special techniques because they suffered from problems in which normal treatment could not fix and now they are all back to normal is today's society. Without Dr. MacDonnell's special treatment there would have been no hope for these pathetic kids. Take a look and see... |
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| JUSTIN DOUCET - This problem child never had a chance from the beginning. He was a 17 year old freshman when he started his long highschool run. By the time he graduated he had nearly doubled in age. Although he was almost 32 years old, he still loves to nail those young 16 year olds, using candy to influence them back to his trailerpark mansion. He loved to drink 6 packs of beer... usually 4 of them a nite. Pictured to the left, Juice is hammered as usual, and ended up wearing this large beer can outfit to a bar, where he tried to pick up cougars like Carol Portieus. With some hard work, and electroshock therapy he is now a somewhat normal human being. He still likes the young girls though! |
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| BRAD WICKLANDER - this young man seemed like he had a lot of anger built up inside. He was a chronic milk drinker and threw suck attacks like they were going out of style. He also threw parties none stop at his house, where random strangers would show up; spilling beer on his old pool table, knocking priceless plates of his walls, and he would take part in this by puking all over the place. After working on cutting Bradley down to the recommended 8 glasses of milk a day and using some tactical anger management skills, we were able to transform this young man into a future hockey player and prepare him for a prominent upcoming school year at Laurentian University. |
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| RYAN STALKER - This hairy kid was very tempermental. He blamed his parents for his lack of agility in sports and receeding hairline. Often he would turn to fighting to solve his problems and he also drink uncontrollably. Drinking then became a problem because he would always end with a girl who name was Ashely, and believe me, this was a big problem. When we tried to ween him off of the Ashley girls, he just turns around and goes for some big titted girl named Andrea... still an "A" in the first name. In the more recent months, he would have upsetting wet dreams about smelt fishing, this we could not figure out. So to turn the tables for this young man and give him a new start we got him to construct a large beer bench, now a famous landmark. Congradulations on the improvement Hank!! |
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| CHUCK BATTAH - Most people would have given up on this one, just locked him in a padded room and thrown away the key. Not Dr. MacDonnell, because Chuck is one of those rare cases that need a true professional. When he was first diagnosed he was found waving a used condom at a vehicle driving by. He would often stare of into space when people would try to talk to him, mostly this was to people of ethnic backgrounds. I also found him to have somewhat of an obsession with prank calling people with no concern to the emotional damage he was causing. Look at the photo to the right, this is one scary man. But after a year of making him socialize with chinks, sand niggers and poarch monkey's, we found that he lost all his racial thoughts. He has now settled down and is relaxing with his McDonald's girlfriend. Congradulations on the turn around Charles! |
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| DARREN MICHELUTTI - Much confusion is associated with this problematic child. He is what we like to call a silent killer, someone who keeps all there anger bottled up until they can no longer deal with the problems that life deals them out. In this young mans case, Dan Bougeouis was the victim, and the conviction was assault with intent to murder. After the 3 referees tore this mad man off the lifeless body, the crowd sat in awe. Not only was this a problem, but his friends and family were getting concerned with time consumption that his dominatrix girlfriend was taking up. They would go into their own little worlds for days at a time, and this only fueled his anger, they were like a dangerous duo... Micky and Mallory if you will. When Dr. MacDonnell got through with him he was back to being a good studious young man, even brown nosing his religion teacher so bad he has a permanent rectum smell disturbuted from his tiny yet potential violent body. By the way, you think this kid isn't hairy... boy are you wrong!! |
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| JIMMY MACDONNELL - There comes a time in each man's life where they have to learn to grow up and start doing nornal adult things, like acting responsible and drinking responsibly. That never happened in this party animal's life. He is what the concerned doctors like to call "A Hippie" (just look at that hair circa. 1971). He was a young man trapped in an old mans body. There is no cure for this type of person, and thats why Dr.MacDonnell was called to help... his father. Jimmy also had a problem with authority, breaking laws, rules and national security contracts. His parents were almost ready to give up on him when they remember about the family doctor. It took him months to get over slapping young girls asses while walking through the malls, and last we heard he has almost over hammering back the pints and smoking the dubies... while driving his 4Runner. Once again, just look at that pciture, this is what society considers a "Black Sheep". Your the man Jimbo! |
| Have you written into the website in the past? Want to be part of this famous arrangement of photos? Too damn bad, these are the best of the best... but you can send you picture in anyways. Go back to the main screen and click "contact me". **any naked photos sent in will be saved to disk and disturbuted to random porn sites for profit** |
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| AL VAILLANCOURT - This man is a temporary schizophrenic: a hard spoken party animal during the day with the boys, and a casanova romancer by night with the women. He was referred to Dr. MacDonnell by a friend that wishes to go nameless. Unfortunately this behaviour was causing controversy among friends as Al would leash out in a jealous rage whenever there was a comment or the slightest imply of another guy talking about his women. Using some old frat boy techniques that Dr. MacDonnell learned back in the day he tried to get this love driven man to lose respect for women and go back to using women what they were meant for; casual sex, head, buying men shit and to be there on the rare occassion we need some to cook and eat with us. By Quebec 2002, Al was getting with sluts and telling them to "talk into the mic" while recieving head... but he lost it again with development of a new relationship. There is much work still to do with this one! |
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| DANE FRANCESCHINI - Another one to add into the "Hippie" categorey. this kid was born over 20 years too late, as he thinks he is living in the mid 70's. The most troubling thing is that this demented child has a facination with serial killers and mass murders, and even worse, a facination with wrestling. After doing some one-on-one sessions and hypnosis with Dane, Dr. MacDonnell found what is triggering these odd behaviours. It goes back a few years to a traumatic experience after a sexual encounter with a girl when he discovered a "pepsi residue" with an pungent odour in the crevace of his fingers. This turned out to be some disgusting SHITLINT, and this often triggers an emotional detatchment from society. He is often found walking around in the summer with a touque, shorts and sandals. With lots of work on his people skills and public interaction this man is almost ready for his first job in 20 years. |
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| CORY NEELEY - A crazy indian is a problem, but a crazy pot smoking indian with a black belt is a menace to society! Don't judge this man by the picture to the left, the pink hat and aviator sunglasses are tools used to show a soft side and often people end up dead for trusting in them. This native would often be cruising in his buick with the strapped on Audi logo, attempting to pick up and young female hitch hikers and then hammer them like a rabbit in mating season. On the first attempt to try and settle this mad man down, his weed was switched for some Labatt Blue (Official Beer of The Canadian Indians), but Cory would have nothing to do with that. He ended up killing the security guard with a Judo Chop to the scrotum with his lethal hand. Month after month this man was given the best treatment available with the tax payers money, and just before he was cured, he escaped the asylum and has been missing ever since. He was report last in the Garson, Ontario area. |
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