Volume I
Volume II
Volume III
Here we see the northwestern indoor elephant seal in her natural habitat. It certainly is an honor to be so close to such a magnificent creature. Not known for her speed, agility, charisma, or ability, this creature's appeal is more a function of her sheer size and colossal ignorance. Yet she persists and is thriving in today's workplace. Armed only with the knowledge that her job is secure and a single, razor sharp tooth (which she uses mainly to defend her plentiful snacks and fight off the younger, more attractive officitas that this naturalist loves so much), she is more than a match for even the most capable and sullen temp worker. Why does the elephant seal hate the officita? The officita poses no threat to the seal. She is, in fact, the servant of the seal (much like the devilishly handsome, sullen temp). Why the hostility? Perhaps, we may never know. But it is the mystery surrounding these beasts which makes them so fascinating. Where are their mates? How could their mates possibly coexist comfortably with these behemoths? How do they keep from being crushed under their own weight when out of the water? Fascinating! And that is why I study the elephant seal. Though not especially beautiful, or graceful, or even polite, the sight of the alpha female inflating the sac on top of her misshapen head, bellowing through the halls, and brandishing her single, razor sharp tooth is most like witnessing a giant mudslide or building implosion. The size and magnitude boggle the mind!