| - A long time ago I had this dream that my mother, father and myself were at some huge, fancy palace with marble floors. We were at a ball, and I did NOT want to be there. I wanted to get away from all the noise and people, so I stepped outside for a moment to be by myself. (In real life I am a very introspective and private person anyway, and feel very out of place in this time). When I was outside I was alone in a courtyard. It was very landscaped and PERFECT. It was nighttime and the sky was a very serene, beautiful blue and lots of stars were out. There was a white, domed glass building glowing in the distance. But in front of me, on both sides, were two huge square/concrete ‘pools’ if-you-will; not for swimming, and I think they had little fountains inside them. These two pools/fountains were filled with SWANS. This dream always stuck with me b/c the colors and everything in the courtyard/the sky were so soothing and serene. And I knew it couldn’t have been a dream about a past life because my parents were in it. But I now think that that was a dream Patrick formulated himself – b/c of the white swans and b/c it was such a peaceful dream. |
| Automatic Writing - Not long ago I talked my mother into trying Automatic Writing again. She was going to do one from her Papa, but at the top of the page the only thing which came through was the letter “P” followed by an AW from Patrick. (And yes, I am still skeptical about it, but I’m also open-minded about it). In Mom’s Automatic Writing, Patrick mentioned how we used to “look up at the Heavens and wonder at them.” So… the correlation b/w the stars being mentioned in the AW, as well as in that dream related above, certainly caught my attention. And add to that that at the time of the AW even I had forgotten about the dream with the palace and the swans. I now take that dream as being a gift from Patrick. (Took around 10 years for me to figure that one out. Lol!) I think he’s trying to get me to remember that past life. (Which I never will of course). |
| Here’s the AW my mother did. After that, she did a reading on him. (I’m still iffy about some of it, although she did get a monster of a migraine afterward. I’ll post all the readings later):
P I cannot tell you how much this means to me. I have waited many lifetimes. Watching. Waiting and still more Watching and Waiting. You grew up fast! How I wish you would remember me! I try to WILL IT, but it seems to be beyond my power. I wish for you to understand something about me. I was a hard man in so many ways, but to survive this must be. How else does one protect so many he is responsible for. We often looked at the heavens and wondered at them. I still remember it well. You seem a little lost to me. Is this so? Do not be so, for I will always find YOU! No matter what comes between. I loved you more than you loved me I think, for you sometimes feared me and you know you were most tender and kind to me, despite my crude ways. You were the flower. I was the thorn. I show you a white handkerchief. For purity and love for eternal life without ever ending. Until you nor I are separated again. Try to remember me. I am right there at the edge. Don’t forget to ask for me to come. I must be invited. |
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| - Note: One of two surnames I’ve been deliberating giving my character (in a story I want to write that’s loosely based on Patrick) was SWAN. |
| Poems (Two others will be explained later) I found 3 or 4 stupid poems that I wrote in High School recently. (I don’t even read poetry, so it’s strange that I wrote a few back then). No one even knows I even did that – thank goodness. Lol! Anyway, one of them was corny as Hell in a handbasket, but the theme was awfully strange. It definitely echoed Patrick, even though I know I wasn’t picturing him at all at the time. Patrick was pretty much just “the ghost” to me back then. We were on a beach when I asked the man in this poem to promise me that he’d never be out of my reach, even for one second. He always answered with “I’ll never be far.” Then we looked up at the sky, and a dark cloud obscured the moon. I looked back at him and a shadow was cast across his face, and he was gone. Disappeared. I reached for his hand but all I felt was empty air and how lonely I was. Then the stars were staring all glassy-eyed at me and I said I was going to search for him even if it took forever, and that we were destined to be together… blah blah blah. You know, just corny stuff. Then I felt a hand on my hair, but I guessed it was only the wind since there was no one there. But then I heard his voice and he said, again, “I’ll never be far,” and I felt him kiss my cheek. Next thing I know I look up and realize I’m back in my bedroom, staring up at the ceiling. It was such a corny poem, but I’m amazed at how it could easily echo Patrick watching over me – Patrick, who is “not very far away.” I was so shocked when I came across that. There was another one I wrote which echoed what my friend told me, too. (Him watching me when I wasn’t aware that he was. Us desperately wanting to be together, but circumstances not allowing it). |
| - For MONTHS I (ever the skeptic) kept asking Patrick to play my Camelot music box for me. Months breezed by and nothing happened. But then one day I was cleaning my bedroom when the very last thing I dusted was my music box. DIRECTLY after I did that I decided to check my email, and what did I see but a message from my friend. She said that Patrick was around her again, and that the very first thing he showed her was a music box with a horse that was like a carousel. The music box was playing music, she said, and the horses on it moved in a circle. That completely blew me away b/c 1.) I had JUST finished dusting that darn music box and 2.) I NEVER breathed a word to her that every night – for months – I had been asking Patrick to play my music box and 3.) When my music box plays, the couple on the horse moves AROUND the castle just like a carousel. |
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| Pics of the AW: |
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