Ok, I made this page to give this awesome Half-Ogre picture a place to stay. But it's also a great excuse to get my opinions in about the fantasy that I love and that I love to hate.
1. It's all based on Tolkien.
Is this a good thing? I used to think so. But it's not, really. There's a lot out there that got dropped by the wayside. Thankfully, basic mythology is also thrown in. Mythology rules.
2. It's all D&D
Dungeons and Dragons has been an even bigger influence on vanilla fantasy than Tolkien has. It's really picked up the ball where Tolkien left off and ran with it. Dragons, trolls, orcs, etc were all combined with mythology to make what we now know as fantasy. Recently they've tried writing up all kinds of new planar stuff, but that's not fantasy. Barbarians, chicks in chainmail bikinis, wizards in long blue cloaks and pointy hats, and dragons. That's fantasy.
3. It's all Conan.
Barbarians... check. Chicks in chainmail bikinis... check. Wizards in long blue cloaks and pointy hats... check. Dragons... check. Moving right along...
Ok, time for my one big gripe for vanilla fantasy: it discourages imagination. People have been so inundated with fantasy that they know what to expect, and that's what they give when roleplaying fantasy (or writing it).
But at the same time the way that fantasy is established is actually helpful for those of us willing to throw in some effort to make imaginative characters. Yes, it's true, and I'm ashamed to say it, because I've badmouthed vanilla fantasy so much. I suppose I'm justified because these imaginative fantasy roleplayer are so rare that they're almost not worth mentioning.
There are also several classes that thankfully have not been played to death yet. One of these is the good-aligned lich. Apparently these guys are a lot more common than you'd think at first. Another is druids and bards; these two are generally regarded as pretty fruity, so people don't play them as much. But if you make them properly, they can be pretty cool.
Clerics, while seeing a lot of play, end up being just holier-than-thou healing-spell-casters. Yawn. Come on people, you can do better than that. And no, the answer is not making a wannabe-creepy evil cleric. That's also overdone.
Basically all that I mean by "Vanilla Fantasy" is Dungeons and Dragons (most notably Forgotten Realms) and of course all those "assembly line" fantasy books you see in book stores all the time. You know the ones: the cover has either a small "party of adventurers" or a person posing with a dragon. Or both.
Still, vanilla fantasy is the strongest fantasy out there. It's the best supported and the best understood. It's also the most widely accepted, which isn't saying much of course.
One thing that I like about vanilla fantasy is that you can just sit down any time and just belt out a character or even an adventure with barely any effort. We all know the story of the chieftain's son whose tribe got wiped out by monsters, the curious city child who found thievery to come naturally, and of course the myriad hot babe characters who got betrayed by men so turned to women for comfort.
Roleplaying is coolest when done gathered around a table with some friends. Of course I don't really know since I probably haven't even played ten games like this in my life. Most of my experience comes from roleplaying online, and that's quite a bit worse. It includes worse characters, worse roleplayers, and more people out to ruin it for everyone but their group.
One of these days, maybe over Christmas, we'd better all get together and play a campaign of D&D.
A Vrock, an Incubus, and a Rakshasa
