Telemarketer: Are you happy with your long distance services?
You: I don't know... let me ask the voices in my head...
Voice #1- What do you think
Voice #2- I dunno, what do think?
Voice #3- I'm hungry.
Voice #4- There are arrows coming from the little holes... kill kill kill!
You: Yes, I'm thrilled with my long distance services.
(hang up)
Telemarketer: Hello, is Mr. or Mrs. (your last name here) home?
You: Well, my mommy is feeding the rotweilers, and they're really hungry, and my daddy told me never to bother him while he was cleaning his gun. How about if you stopped by?
(hang up)
Telemarketer: Did you know that you are paying to much for your phone services?
You: Well, I better hang up now because this call is costing me money.
(hang up)
Telemarketer: How are you today miss/sir?
You: I'm glad you asked. It seems no one cares. My goldfish just died, my hip hurts, my eyelashes hurt, my grandmother's friend's daughter has a hernea, i'm loosing my hearing, and i just broke a nail. It seems like everything is going wrong, my car broke down so I can't go to the party, I don't have enough money to pay my bills (keep going until they hang up)
Telemarketer: Would you prefer services in English or French?
You: Latvian.
(hang up)
Recording: Press 1 to hear message, Press two to speak with a executive.
You: press three.
Telemarketer: Is Mr. or Mrs. (your last name here) available?
You: Actaully, this is a bad time, can you give me your home phone number so I can call you back?
Telemarketer: No
You: Lemme get this straight, you wouldn't want me bothering you at home, but you will bother me at home?
(hang up)
Other ways to get rid of them--->
*make up your own language... or speak in foo (lmao kristen, niki, stef, vanessa...etc)
*insist that the person on the phone is someone playing a joke
*ask them to say everything slow cuz you wanna write down every single word
*ask them to spell everything
*if they are selling something such as insurance, air conditioning, etc, ask them what colour everything is, if it comes with a complimentary bag of peanuts, etc.