by Lady Aisheteru
Email: Lady_Aisheteru@hotmail.com
Website:http://www.oocities.org/anniemaniac_99/index.html
Heero: Konnichi wa, gentlemen. We're here to teach all of you how to
pick up women.
Duo: Learn from the masters!
Wufei: Braided baka.
Duo: Pfft! =P
Quatre: Hello, everyone.
Trowa: .........
Quatre: Oh yeah...Trieze and Zechs have come to offer their advice as
well.
Trowa: Geez, Quatre, why do you always have to be so damned *polite*?
You always tell the enemy to surrender, you have teatime every
day at 4:00...
Heero: Wow, I think that's the most he ever said.
Duo: (speechless)
Quatre: Anyways, I'll let Heero start, then we can take it from there.
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Heero: I find that Spandex works wonders on women.
* Don't bother showering...Women like a rugged, masculine scent.
Duo: (backs away, holding his nose) That would explain why the flowers
have been dying and the wallpaper has been peeling...
Heero: (gives Duo the Patented Heero Death Glare TM)
* Show her that you know how to reset your own broken bones. That
always impresses 'em.
*CRRRACK!*
All: Gross!
* "Omae O Korosu" is a very effective pickup line.
Relena: Hello, Heero!
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Relena: *swoons
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Trowa: Never, EVER come between a knife thrower and her chocolate
during *THAT* time of month. In fact, it's best to avoid her
during the entire week. When you come back, fake amnesia.
She'll think it's cute.
Catherine: (rolls her eyes) Riiiiiight.
* Never, EVER use your real name. Women love a man of mystery.
Zechs: That's right, Trowa. Using a mask adds to that certain...
enigmatic charm.
Duo: Yeah, if you're in Phantom of the Opera.
Wufei: In fact, don't even bother to learn HER name. "Onna" works
just fine for me.
Sally: (grumbling) Chauvanist pig!
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Trieze: Never, EVER pluck your eyebrows. See if you can grow four in
fact.
* Make incredibly abstract statements that even you don't understand.
* And one more thing.....bathe in public. I *CANNOT* stress that
enough, people.
Lady Une: Pervert.
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Trowa: (pokes Quatre) Hey, you're on.
Quatre: What? Oh yeah....*sweatdrops* Well, the best advice I can give
is to buy them flowers, write them sweet love notes and tell
them they look beautiful, even if they don't. Women love a man
who isn't afraid to show his emotions.
Heero: *blinks* Baka. That would NEVER work.
Quatre: (pouts) Yes it would!
Trowa: Then why don't YOU have a girlfriend?
Quatre: Because the last woman I dated stabbed me in the side in lieu
of a goodnight kiss!
All: Dorothy.
Dorothy: KOIIIIIISHIIII!
Quatre: AAAAAH! GET HER AWAY FROM MEEEEE! (runs off screaming)
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Duo: When in doubt, use lots and lots of Herbal Essence.
* Brush your hair at least seven times a day.
* Get yourself a cute pet name like Shingami or...Nanashi.(Trans: god
of death, no-name)
* Four words: Lather, rinse and repeat. ALWAYS repeat.
Heero: That's SIX words. Baka.
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Wufei: PAH! I'm THROUGH with women! (takes out picture of Shenlong
and strokes it lovingly) Nataku, you're the only one for me....
Duo: Wu-man, you need help!
Wufei: (unsheaths katana) KISAAAAAMAAAAA!
Duo: Eeep! (runs for his life)
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Quatre:(sweatdrops as Wufei chases Duo around the room) Well, that's
all for now. *whispers* Don't worry...the course fee is
refundable...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*END*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*