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Like We Never Had a Broken Heart Disclaimer: Yep, no rights what so ever, because Paramount are TPTB, unfortunately! Rating: NC-17 Author’s note: Was listening to a song by Trisha Yearwood, called “Like We Never Had a Broken Heart” and it inspired the following! Please don’t shoot me for how it turned out! Voyager had been orbiting a planet called T’Lsonra for four days. The planet’s inhabitants were a pleasant, friendly race and trade between the two cultures had been very successful. Captain Janeway had visited the planet’s surface several times during the last ninety-six hours, meeting with Minister C’zahk and his advisers. She had been over-whelmed by the T’Lsonrian’s generosity and hospitality. Tomorrow, the entire crew of Voyager had been invited to the surface for a farewell dinner. They would be leaving orbit the following day, bound once more for the Alpha Quadrant. “Oh hell,” muttered the Captain, viewing the latest offering from her replicator. Chakotay was due to arrive in less than ten minutes for their usual dinner date, and, as per normal, the replicator was being difficult. She groaned as the chime sounded, “Typical, you’re always early when I’m in the middle of a culinary disaster,” she complained, greeting Chakotay with the burnt meal, displayed on a serving dish in her hands. He walked in, one of his dimpled smiles upon his face, “You and the replicator fall out again Kathryn?” he teased. She shook her head, “I know I’ve said this many times in the past seven years, but this replicator hates me!” Chakotay’s grin widened, “It’s a machine Kathryn, it doesn’t have feelings,” he reminded her, placing the wine he was carrying on the table. “Are you very hungry?” she asked. “Do I take it that means we’re eating bread and cheese again?” he countered. Kathryn smiled that half-smile of hers, “Well,” she shrugged, “it goes well with the wine! And besides, you’ll have more than enough to eat tomorrow, at the dinner the T’Lsonrian’s are putting on,” she finished. Chakotay paused in his opening of the wine. It took a moment for Kathryn to notice as she busied herself with recycling the charred meal remains. “What is it?” she asked, looking directly at Chakotay. Chakotay took a breath. He’d been putting this off for a while, but it seemed the moment had come to be truthful with her. “Kathryn, there’s something I want to tell you, something you may have already heard through the ship’s grapevine …” he paused, not knowing how to tell her. Kathryn’s blue eyes betrayed her puzzlement; she hadn’t a clue what it was he was trying to tell her. She had heard nothing lately from the rumour mill. He forced himself to meet her gaze, “I … I … Seven and I … Oh hell …” he took a deep breath, searching Kathryn’s face for a sign that she knew what he was talking about. Her face was blank. “What I mean to say is …” he continued, “ … Seven and I are dating,” there, he had blurted it out. “We’ve been involved for a couple of weeks now … I know I should have told you earlier, but I …” he shrugged. Kathryn was shocked, “You and Seven …” she repeated, almost as if to herself. “Yes,” he answered softly. Kathryn blinked quickly and coughed, “I see …” Chakotay continued, “I, well, we,” he shrugged, “ … thought we could attend tomorrow’s function together, as a couple; our first public date. I wanted to tell you, to explain why I can’t escort you like I normally would”. Kathryn was still stunned, but was covering it up adequately, “Of course you must take Seven, I’m sure Tuvok will be able to accompany me …” She looked deep into his eyes and held back the choke that was threatening to escape her chest, “I’m glad you’ve found someone Chakotay,” she whispered. “Thank you,” his gaze almost penetrated her soul and she looked quickly away, scared that her eyes might betray the rush of emotions coursing through her. She coughed again, “Er, Chakotay, since I’ve burnt dinner,” she pulled a slight grimace, “ … it’s okay with me if you want to forget tonight … If you’d rather be with Seven I understand,” she said, using all her Captain’s training just to get the words out without her voice cracking. His broad smile broke her already shattered heart. “If you’re sure you don’t mind?” he asked. “Not at all,” she managed, wishing he would just go and leave her alone with her thoughts. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow Kathryn,” he said, pausing to smile at her before heading for the doors. “Goodnight Chakotay,” she replied, watching him leave. Later, in bed, Kathryn laid sobbing. Chakotay had torn her heart out tonight, like she had done to him so many times in the past. She couldn’t blame him for moving on; Heaven knows it had taken him a long time. But Seven? Of all people, she couldn’t help but feel betrayed, jealous even. Her body shook with great heaving sobs as she realised she had lost the man that she loved. The next evening found all Voyager’s crew on the planet’s surface. Minister C’zahk was as generous in his dinner parties as he had been in his trade agreements. The large hall was decorated colourfully, lanterns hung from the ceiling panels, throwing a soft glow around the room. Everyone was having a good time, except one person. Kathryn sat at the top table. It was slightly elevated compared to the others, allowing an excellent view of the room. Couples, both from Voyager and from the Minister’s government, danced in the middle of the room to the soft music being played by the collection of musicians in the corner. From where she sat, Kathryn could see Chakotay and Seven. They made a striking couple. His bronzed arms were firmly around her waist, holding her to him as they moved to the rhythm, swaying together. Kathryn watched as Seven said something and Chakotay laughed, a full laugh, tipping his head back as he did so. Jealously stabbed at Kathryn’s heart. During the meal she had barely been able to eat a thing, failing to hear a word Minister C’zahk had spoken to her. Instead she had watched Chakotay. It pained her the way he looked at Seven; it was the same way he had looked at her once. Why had she pushed him away? Damn Starfleet’s rules and regulations. They certainly weren’t practical out here in the Delta Quadrant. As her eyes followed the couple dancing on the floor, her heart and mind realised that the rest of the journey home was going to be a lonely one. No more nights on the holodeck together, sailing on Lake George. No more cosy dinners in each other’s quarters. Oh there might be a few dinners together, but it would no longer be the same. Gone would be the easy flirting she enjoyed with him, all the while forcing herself to resist his charms. ‘Resistance is futile’ she wryly thought, except in Seven’s case, it didn’t even apply. Her eyes roamed the rest of the room. Tom and B’Elanna were dancing, while Harry and Megan Delaney were talking at a table. Even the Doctor appeared to have a ‘date’ with the chief physician from the largest T’Lsonrian settlement. It suddenly hit her that what Chakotay had predicted at he beginning of their journey was actually happening. The crew were pairing off. Already she had performed eleven wedding ceremonies. It seemed everyone had someone, except for her. The emptiness gnawed at her as she recalled leaving Jaffen behind on Quarra. Once again she had ignored her own needs for the needs of her ship and crew. How many times did she have to loose? Her father, Justin, Mark, Jaffen and now Chakotay. When would it stop? So engrossed in her thoughts, Kathryn didn’t notice the shadow standing over her and jumped when she heard it’s owner’s voice. “Excuse me, Captain,” a man’s voice said. Startled, Kathryn looked up into the face of one of Minister C’zahk’s aids. “I couldn’t help but notice that you’re sitting on your own,” he continued “and I wondered if you might like to dance?” he voice betrayed his nervousness, even through the Universal Translator. She forced a smile, “No, thank you, I’m fine sitting here. In fact, I’ve been thinking about leaving shortly and returning to my ship,” she said. He sat down beside her, “Leave? Why? Minister C’zahk will be terribly disappointed, and will probably blame me,” he said, with an edge of humour to his voice. “You don’t want to get me into trouble do you?” he asked, feigning fear. Despite herself, Kathryn laughed, “No, I don’t want to get you into trouble … Mr …?” she asked. “Rakiv, just Rakiv will be fine,” he smiled, looking at her. Kathryn returned the smile, “Just Rakiv it is then”. “There, that’s better already,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “What is?” she asked, clearly confused. “I made you smile,” he said simply. Kathryn blushed slightly, looking away from him and glancing about the room again. “I have to congratulate your people on such a wonderful party,” she told him, “Everyone is having such a good time,” her voice dropped slightly as once more she viewed Chakotay with Seven. Rakiv followed her gaze, “Except the Captain … am I right in believing it has something to do with your First Officer?” he tentatively asked. Kathryn briefly considered lying, but something about him made her suddenly tell him how upset and hurt she was feeling. Rakiv listened without interrupting her, nodding sympathetically, and pausing to look over at Chakotay a few times. “So, there it is, though I don’t know why I’ve just told you it all,” she offered. “Maybe you sense a fellow sufferer,” he said, his voice low. Kathryn looked at him, arching an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation. “You see the dark-haired woman over there standing with the tall red-haired man?” he asked, pointing out a couple by the food table. “Yes,” she answered, observing the closeness between the two people Rakiv had pointed to. “Well, at one time I had hoped to be joined with her in our pairing ritual, but she chose another, my best friend …” he said, his voice low. Kathryn watched as the hurt clouded his eyes. “On T’Lsonra, it is different than in your culture. Here the female chooses her mate and it’s for life. Unfortunately, I still have feelings for her,” he confessed. “But feelings are all I have left, and they cannot comfort you when you are lonely, or hold you in the night,” he finished in a low voice. Kathryn turned to regard the man sitting by her side, sensing his pain, and realising it reflected her own. Her eyes roamed over him, as if seeing him for the first time. His species were humanoid, facially very similar, but with a larger forehead and a nasal ridge. The race varied in skin tone, some lighter than others. Rakiv was a bronzed colour, with dark hair, not unlike Chakotay, she suddenly realised. Her eyes followed his features, crossing the width of his shoulders, illustrated by the tight dark blue garment he was wearing. Rakiv turned to her, his eyes locking with hers, “I’m sorry, I was meant to be making you more cheerful,” he shrugged, consciously making an effort to lighten the mood, “Maybe you’d like to have that dance now?” She smiled again, but it was a slight one, her mind racing with conflicting thoughts and emotions. “Lead on,” she said, offering him her hand. He led her into the crowd on the dance floor, taking care not to position them near Chakotay and Seven. He held his arms open and she stepped into them, albeit nervously. They began moving with the music, getting closer as they did so. Kathryn tightened her hold of him as she caught a glimpse of Chakotay bending closer to Seven. Rakiv felt her body tense and heard her sharp intake of breath against his cheek. Chakotay had leant in and kissed Seven, and Kathryn had witnessed it. A noise escaped from her throat and the tears she had fought to control all evening threatened to over-whelm her. Rakiv looked down at Kathryn’s face, contorted with misery and pain, fighting to hold back her anguish. “Come,” he said, gripping her hand and guiding her towards the exit. Kathryn felt the cool evening air on her clammy skin and shivered. Rakiv placed his arm around her and she allowed herself to lean into him, enjoying the feeling of a man’s body close to hers. They walked in silence, the planet’s twin moons lighting the path in front. There was a tension in the air between them, one that Kathryn could not fight or oppose. Somewhere along the short walk, they both realised they needed someone tonight, that another lonely wait till the morning was too distressing to contemplate. They came to a building and Rakiv turned, wrapping both his arms around her, a questioning look in his eyes. “This is my domicile,” he explained, watching her reaction. “Would you like to …” his words faded. Kathryn looked up at him, he so badly reminded her of Chakotay, and this was one night she didn’t want to be alone in her quarters, imagining Chakotay making love with Seven. She ran a finger over Rakiv’s lips, her eyes silently acknowledging his unspoken question. Rakiv entered his security code and the door slid silently open. Inside Kathryn paused, unsure sure what to do. Rakiv turned to her and smiled hesitantly as he lowered his head towards hers. No words were needed as their lips met, slow, deliberate, becoming more forceful as her mouth opened, drawing his tongue inside, needing him to explore her so badly. Don’t be afraid to hold me tight, You know I won’t break in two. What we’re doin’ here tonight, Sure beats what we’re goin’ through. We both loved and lost before, You know the sadness it can bring. Tonight let’s close the door, And hold on to the nearest thing He groaned, pulling her tightly to him as her fingers roamed over his nape. All the hurt and anger she had been trying to suppress were manifesting themselves into the strongest carnal craving she had ever had. His hands swept over her back, grasping at her clothing, pinching the skin lightly underneath her dress, as her mouth frantically claimed his, pushing her tongue into his warmth. He broke away, his eyes dark with passionate longing as he looked at her. “Let me love you tonight,” he murmured before kissing her again. A thought flashed at the back of Kathryn’s mind, here she was, about to have intimate relations with a member of another species, and apart from the medical element, whether their two races were compatible, there was the physical element; she had no idea where his sexual organs were, let alone how to bring him pleasure. Rakiv’s arms tightened around her and he groaned with the pleasure of feeling another’s body close to his. He ran his hands over the smooth contours of her hips, nudging upwards to brush against the sides of her breasts. His touch was uncertain, he too was conscious of the difference in their races. Kathryn panted into his mouth, her skin burning from the subtle contact. She covered his hands with hers, guiding them to the fullness of her breasts, showing him how she liked to be touched. Her nipples were hard and responsive to Rakiv’s eager learning and she gasped, breaking away from his kiss. “Oh, Gods,” she heaved, arching her back, pushing herself further into his hungry palms. Rakiv kneaded her soft flesh, feeling the firm peaks sheathed within her bra, rubbing a thumb over them, and marvelling at the intensity of her arousal. T’Lsonrian females didn’t show this level of response to stimulation and he found that her panting breaths served to further heighten his own desire. He pushed himself against her stomach, the contact causing him to shudder within Kathryn’s embrace. The part of her mind wondering about their sexual compatibility was silenced when she felt Rakiv’s hips rocking against hers, and his stiffness prodding her stomach. Instinctively her hand reached down, enclosing it in her small grasp, squeezing it gently. Rakiv groaned, a deep guttural sound emanating from the back of his throat. His erection pulsed against her hand, straining for release from the confines of his clothing. Kathryn’s lips were assaulted once more as Rakiv plundered her mouth desperately. His hands moved from her heaving breasts to her back, searching for a way to remove the dress she was wearing. “Here,” she whispered, removing her hands from his body and unzipping the side of the dress. Rakiv stepped back, watching, his eyes darkened with desire, as Kathryn slowly peeled the dress from her shoulders. The lightweight material slid over her milky skin and dropped to the floor. Kathryn deftly stepped out of it, standing before Rakiv in her cream bra and panties. He was unable to disguise his yearning, tearing frantically at his own garment, as she un-hooked the fastening of her bra. His eyes raked over her with a lusty gleam. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, lowering his head to her naked breasts and claiming an erect rosy tip with his mouth, flicking his tongue over it. Kathryn leant backwards, supported by the hand caressing her lower back. Rakiv laved at her breast, swirling his tongue over it, sucking, and tugging at the nipple with his teeth, his other hand repeating the action on her left breast. Kathryn wrapped a leg around his waist and felt his penis nudging at the wetness of her panties. She gripped his buttocks, crushing him to her, her whole body aflame with a burning longing. Rakiv moved away from her breast and kissed her hungrily, scooping her other leg off the ground and holding her firmly to him as he made his way towards the bedroom next door. They tumbled onto the bed, Rakiv’s body covering hers, pressed so tightly together as his hands ran through her hair, and hers scratched over his back. Let’s keep hanging on, So we won’t fall apart. Let’s make love tonight, Like we never had a broken heart. Rakiv’s hands moved down Kathryn’s body and removed her panties. She clung to his shoulders as his lips blazed along her neck, alternating between gentle nips and quick flicks of his tongue. She was writhing beneath him as his hands explored her body, gasping as they met the junction of her thighs, moving closer towards the centre of her ache. Kathryn felt the seeping tip of his shaft rub against her hip and Rakiv positioned himself by her side, allowing him easier access to her body. His finger stroked through her slick curls and she mumbled incoherently, eyes closed. “Tell me what you like,” he rasped in a voice thick with longing. Keeping her eyes closed, Kathryn guided his hand to her engorged clit, “Like this,” she panted, her fingers showing his what pressure and movement he needed to use to send her over the edge. Her hips bucked against his hand, as her gasps were swallowed by his kisses. Rakiv continued the circular motion with his thumb, while his index finger, coated in her juices, tentatively dipped into her opening. Kathryn’s knees automatically parted further and Rakiv understood it to be encouragement for him to continue. He pushed his finger deeper into her, feeling her muscles contract around his second digit as it slipped in alongside the first. Both fingers gently probed the soft tissue surrounding them, causing Kathryn to grunt in ecstatic agony. Leaving her mouth to reclaim a breast, he latched greedily onto the hardened nipple and tugged it with his teeth. Kathryn was close; that familiar stirring had started to rise within her and she knew it would soon flood her senses and her mind. She was sucking in air between her clenched teeth, every muscle tensed in anticipation, her buttocks raised from the bed. “Oh … my … yes … I’m … argh!” she cried, her orgasm tearing through her, forcing painted nails to dig into Rakiv’s toned shoulders. As the ripples faded, Kathryn slumped back onto the mattress, one arm flopping over her eyes, her breasts heaving as she struggled for air. “Did I hurt you?” Rakiv’s voice was soft and tender. Kathryn removed her arm from her eyes and stroked his concerned face, “No,” she replied. “But you screamed …” he persisted. “Because what you done to me was … exquisite,” she explained, slightly embarrassed by his close scrutiny. He smiled, his eyes shining, “I am glad to have given you such pleasurable agony,” he said. “Let me return the favour,” she murmured in a voice far huskier than normal. Kathryn pulled his head closer to hers and ran her tongue along his lips, prising them open. Her eager hot tongue swept over his teeth and palate, entwining with his as her hand glazed over his chest, and the nails that had torn at his flesh now gently circled his flattened nipples, causing them to stiffen. With a small amount of expert pressure, Kathryn positioned Rakiv onto his back, her lips working down from his mouth, planting open-mouth kisses along his neck and chest. Her fingers reached the base of his penis and she tenderly kneaded his swollen testicles in her palm. Rakiv watched Kathryn’s mouth move over his bronzed torso; her red hair softly tickling his skin as it smoothed downwards. His eyes rolled closed, only to jolt open a second later as his thickened shaft was enveloped by a moist hot sensation. Through a haze of desire, he watched as Kathryn took him fully into her mouth. Rakiv felt her tongue pressing against his underneath length; running along it until it was only his tip nestled inside. He groaned as her tongue lapped at him and somewhere in the back of his mind he understood what she meant when she had said “exquisite”. Kathryn’s mouth worked faster, sucking on him, biting at the skin around the unusual upward curve near his swollen head. She could only imagine the sensations that would invoke during penetration. Rakiv thrust his hips toward her mouth and sensing that he was close to whatever his species did, she pulled away, taking one last lick before straddling him. Her damp folds easily slid along his groin and they both whimpered. Rakiv felt as though his blood was on fire and swiftly rolled over, taking Kathryn by surprise as his lean body covered hers. She answered his silent question, and palmed his straining erection, placing it at her opening. She felt him slide inside her, filling her completely. He began rocking over her, supporting his weight on his arms as his thickness stroked her inner walls, resulting in them clenching around it. He was panting, his face twisted in fierce concentration, eyes tightly closed. Kathryn clung to him and his head dropped into the crook of her neck, his hot breath blowing over her skin. Tears pricked oat her eyes as she imagined the dark hair against her cheek was Chakotay’s. Don’t be afraid to close your eyes, Pretend I’m someone that you love. And I won’t have to tell you lies, ‘Cause it’s not you I’m thinkin’ of. Rakiv was groaning strangely by her ear. It sounded like a name and he was repeating it over and over like a mantra. She knew in his mind it wasn’t her he was pounding into. Let’s keep hanging on, So we won’t fall apart. Let’s make love tonight, Like we never had a broken heart. Once again Kathryn felt her climax rising, the curve of Rakiv’s penis hitting her ‘G’ spot with every stroke, driving her onwards relentlessly. Her muscles tightened around the throbbing intruder inside, resulting in his thrusts becoming quicker and deeper, the friction amongst them filling her with a delicious ache. Kathryn pushed a hand between them, sliding it easily over their sweat-laced bodies until it met the point of their joining, and used a finger to increase the pressure on her nerve centre. Her choked cries filled the room. “Chakotay!” she screamed, unable to prevent the name of the man she loved leave her lips. The name Rakiv had been groaning became a passionate cry as he emptied himself within her. Totally spent, Rakiv rolled away from her and Kathryn reached for the blanket on the floor to cover herself. There was an awkward moment as they both stared at the ceiling. Eventually Kathryn spoke. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, referring to her outburst. “Me too,” he admitted. “Please do not think that I deliberately imagined it was her,” he pleaded, locking their eyes together. “I guess we were both unable to stop those thoughts from entering our minds,” she said with a half smile that showed her understanding and her sadness. Rakiv motioned for her to lie within his arms and she did, placing her head upon his chest. “Believe me when I say that being here with you is the most incredible experience of my life,” he whispered, his lips on her hair. Once more silent tears pricked at Kathryn’s eyes as they lay together, listening to each other’s breathing. His fingertips caressed her bare skin, while her mind still imagined that she was lying with Chakotay. “May I ask you something?” his soft voice interrupted her thoughts. “Yes,” she replied. “Before we were joined …” he was unsure how to phrase the next part. “Yes,” she encouraged, resting her chin on his chest as her eyes met his. “You used your mouth to excite me …” he continued. “It’s called oral sex,” she interrupted, before thinking a moment and blushing, “Didn’t you enjoy it?” she asked, panicking slightly. “Yes, very much. We do not use that … technique in our culture when a male and female join,” he explained. Kathryn idly wondered whether introducing Rakiv to the joys of oral sex constituted breaking The Prime Directive and stifled a giggle. “The men on your planet, do they perform a similar act on their females?” Rakiv asked. “Yes,” she whispered, catching the look of undisguised longing in his eyes. “If they want to …” she managed, catching her breath. “I want to,” he told her, “I want to taste you in my mouth,” he murmured, grazing her body with feather-light kisses as he slipped under the blanket. Confident fingers parted her thighs and Rakiv’s mouth kissed along her folds, wet from the combination of both of their fluids. He flicked his tongue over the area his thumb had previously manipulated and felt Kathryn shudder. Eagerly he circled it, gently pulling with his teeth and laving it with his tongue. Rakiv’s fingers once more slipped into the hot wetness and she groaned loudly. The smell of her arousal filled his nostrils and he greedily lapped at her hot salty juices, immersing his fingers and tongue in her slickness. He moaned against her, sending rippling vibrations through her stomach. His nose grazed the auburn curls and his mouth became more demanding, wanting everything she could give him and drowning in the sensation of it. Kathryn’s hips bucked wildly onto him and he pushed his tongue harder against her folds. His hand suddenly lunged for a breast, immediately capturing a rosy peak, twisting it between his thumb and forefinger. Below the blanket his tongue flicked over her engorged clit, before his mouth grasped it tightly, sucking and nipping frantically. The two fingers inside her, accompanied by a third, began rhythmically pounding in and out of her and his ministrations on her nipple increased, practically tugging it off. Kathryn came violently, her arms clawing the air, her head thrashing from side to side as he plundered her, forcing another scream from her over-loaded body. Rakiv emerged grinning from under the blanket. His chin was wet with her juices and his hair damp from his exertion. He moved upwards, nestling between her weak legs, and kissed her lightly on the mouth. “You’re a quick learner,” she croaked. “I’ve got a good tutor,” he retorted, his lips descending once more on hers, their tongues meeting, letting Kathryn taste herself on him. Kathryn felt Rakiv’s own sexual demands pulsating again between them, probing at her dampness briefly before sliding inside. Tonight we’ll just pretend, We’ve been in love right from the start. Let’s make love again, Like we never had a broken heart. Rakiv made love to her again and this time the cries that filled his domicile weren’t the desperate callings for a lost love, but the tender cries for the lover within their arms. Let’s make love tonight, Like we never had a broken heart. Afterwards, completely sated, Kathryn laid once again in the crook of his arm, her hand trailing languidly over his broad chest. “Stay with me until dawn,” he breathed, afraid of losing her too soon and being left alone again. “How long is it until dawn?” she asked, enjoying the sensation of being held in Rakiv’s strong arms, feeling protected and not wanting to go just yet. “About four hours,” he answered. “I suggest you try to sleep, I’ll wake you when it’s time for you to leave,” he whispered, not wanting to dwell on the moment he would have to say goodbye to the beautiful Starship Captain in his bed. He kissed her hair softly. Don’t be afraid to close your eyes. The End … or is it? |
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