Say Hello To Earth For Me



Disclaimer:  Paramount own Star Trek, but have shamelessly mishandled the whole Janeway/Chakotay relationship – what’s a girl to do?

Rating: PG13



“…And so Captain, it is our opinion that you should proceed to this wormhole. Use every measure at your disposal to confirm it’s authenticity, and hopefully we will be communicating with Voyager next time in the Alpha Quadrant …” Admiral Paris’ face filled the screen in the Ready Room.

Captain Janeway sat watching the reactions of her senior officers.  She had received the message three hours earlier, via the Pathfinder project and was keen to hear the opinions of those crewman gathered.  “Well?” she asked as the footage ended, “What’s your verdict?” she leant back in her chair and folded her hands on her lap.

“An interesting proposition,” Tuvok spoke first, his eyebrow raised.

“Is that all you can say Tuvok? … interesting?” Tom interrupted, the excitement clear in his voice.  “We’ve just been told a wormhole, just days from here, could take us directly to the Alpha Quadrant, and all you can say is “interesting”?” He stared at the Vulcan across the table.

Tuvok was unruffled at Tom’s outburst.  Janeway suppressed a smile; it was so like Tom to voice his objections. 

“I believe the Commander is correct in his restraint,” Seven coolly eyed Paris.  “After all, how many times has this crew been faced with a similar situation?” she asked, one eyebrow arched.  Janeway wondered just when Tuvok and Seven had begun this habit.

“Too many,” piped up Harry, his longing for Earth, and the hope he may see it again, re-surfacing.

Janeway felt it was time to intervene, she could see Tom readying a response to Seven and decided now wasn’t the time for petty arguments.  “Easy people,” she smiled, taking the sting out of her statement, “I think we’re right to be a bit reluctant over this, we’ve been here too many times before.”  She paused making sure she had everyone’s full attention, “However, I believe we should go, have a look, you never know …” she crossed her fingers and laughed, “ … this time, we may get lucky … “

“I hope so,” it was Harry, “I’m kind of fed up with leola root …” he quickly realised his slip and looked towards Neelix, “Not that it isn’t delicious Neelix, it’s just … nothing can compare with mum’s cooking …” Harry stammered.

Neelix was oblivious to Harry’s backhanded compliment and beamed around the table, “In that case,” his voice full of enthusiasm; “ … you will all be pleased to hear that today’s menu has leola root on it!”

A few soft groans emanated from around the table and were quickly masked as coughing or murmurs of enthusiasm.

Janeway stifled a groan herself, if there was one thing she was looking forward to; it was a week with no leola root.  She hid behind her Captain’s mask, “Seven, I want you to go to astrometrics and run scans of the area surrounding the wormhole.  Look for anything that may be suspicious.”  She turned to her Chief Engineer, “B’Elanna, I want you and Harry to work on the shields, if we go into something like this, I want to make sure we come out of it the same way …” she smiled and nodded.

B’Elanna and Harry silently acknowledged their Captain.

“Tuvok,” Janeway continued, “I want you to run a full security check, weapons etc. also increase the regularity of battle drills, I want to be prepared for anything …”

“Yes Captain,” the Vulcan replied.

“Okay, dismissed,”

The crew headed for the door.  Janeway could hear B’Elanna ribbing Harry regarding his slip about the leola root.  She smiled. 

“Chakotay?” her First Officer was still seated, apparently lost in thought.  “You were quiet just then,” she probed.

“Sorry,” he looked at her, his expression closed to her inquisitive stare. 

“What’s the matter?” she pushed.

“I think Seven and Tuvok had a point, …” he admitted.

“I know, …” she conceded.  “Every time we get this close, something always goes wrong.”

Chakotay watched her and observed that she suddenly appeared crestfallen.  He felt guilty, “Hey, you never know …” he crossed his fingers mimicking her earlier action.

Kathryn smiled at his grinning expression.  Sometimes this man understood her so completely.  “What are you doing for dinner?” she asked.

He rose as he answered, “I believe a certain Captain intends to tempt me into joining her,” his smile was warm.

Kathryn looked at him, realising that she could never ask for a finer First Officer and friend, “Only if you bring the wine,” she added, her hand easily catching his arm.

“How come I always have to bring the wine?” he chided as they walked towards the Ready Room doors.

“Because I cook!” she laughed, knowing full well how many times Chakotay had entered her quarters to be greeted by the smell of something burning.

“Hmm,” was Chakotay’s diplomatic reply as they entered the bridge.


Captain’s Log, Stardate ******, 

We have reached the co-ordinates for the wormhole.  All senior crew have been instructed to run full analysis and report back.  There is a tremendous feeling of hope running throughout the ship, I just hope it is founded …


“Seven of Nine to Captain Janeway …” Seven’s voice filled the Ready Room.

“Janeway here …” she responded, pausing in her log entry.

“I have completed my scan of the anomaly.  I believe you may wish to see the results for yourself,” the icy tone of the former Borg gave no indication of her findings.

Janeway signed as she rose form her chair, “On my way,” she closed the com-link and marched out of her Ready Room onto the bridge. 

Chakotay looked up as his Captain strode across the bridge en-route to the turbolift.  A questioning glance crossed his features.

“Chakotay, you’re with me,” she tossed over her shoulder, “Tuvok, you have the bridge.”

Chakotay followed her into the turbolift and studied her as she instructed the computer.  He noticed the tension in her face, the set of her jaw, the hope hidden below the surface.  “Kathryn?” he probed, uncertain whether the use of her name at this point was wise.

Kathryn turned to him, her expression softening, “I’ve just heard from Seven,” she explained, “She’s asked me join her in astrometrics …” Kathryn paused trying to reign in her emotions.

Chakotay uncharacteristically squeezed her shoulder; such tactile actions were rare from him.  She looked at his expression; it was full of comfort and support. Kathryn knew whatever they faced, they faced together.  She smiled at him tenderly.

The doors of astrometrics swished open, Seven half-turned as Janeway and Chakotay walked in.  “Captain, Commander,” Seven nodded slightly at them both.

“What have you got for us Seven?” Janeway wanted to establish just what she was dealing with here.  Seven hadn’t noticed the slight pitch difference in her voice, but Chakotay had.  He knew Kathryn was feeling like she had a knot in her stomach, he felt the same.

Seven activated the console, the view in front of them changed, illustrating an iridescent purple/blue swirl of cloud with a white light emanating from the centre. 

“I have completed my analysis of the wormhole Captain,” Seven’s fingers moved over the keys in front of her, producing a column of technical data next to the spectral image.  “As you can see, I was efficient in my task”.

Janeway climbed onto the higher level, “Yes I can see that Seven,” she murmured, gazing at the facts and figures.

Chakotay wondered just how much longer this would go on and was tempted to order Seven to reveal her findings.

“It is my opinion, Captain, that this wormhole does indeed lead directly to the Alpha Quadrant.  However, I recommend sending out a probe before we attempt to enter it,” Seven gestured, one eyebrow raised.

Janeway turned to face Chakotay, her mouth open in surprise, her voice failing her.  He knew what it was she wanted to say.  “What do you think Commander?” she managed to croak.

He smiled, flashing his dimples, his hands resting casually on his hips, “Looks good to me Captain,” his eyes twinkled.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Janeway whispered, turning once more to the large image in front of her.  Memorising the detail and the colour of the miracle that would shave the last 30,000 light years off their journey. 

Seven watched the interaction between her two commanding officers, noting that each one seemed to be able to convey their thoughts to the other without the use of words.  They were an interesting couple to study, a fact that she had taken advantage of more than once when they had been too busy to realise.

“Seven,” Janeway turned as she spoke, “I want you, B’Elanna and Harry to configure a class 3 probe straight away.  Have it ready to launch within the hour,” she stated, heading for the exit, Chakotay following.

“It will take two hours Captain,” Seven countered, not turning.

“Make it one, eh Seven?” was Janeway’s response before the doors swished closed.

“Well?” Kathryn looked at Chakotay as they walked to the turbolift.

“I think crossing your fingers may have worked this time!” he joked.

“Oh why didn’t I think of that seven years ago?” she laughed as they entered the confined space.

Chakotay’s expression became serious, “If you had, we wouldn’t be friends now.  I’d be in a detention centre somewhere with the rest of the Maquis,” his voice was low.

Janeway knew the thought of returning back to the Federation was a troubling prospect to him.  No one was sure what kind of reception any of them would receive.  Hadn’t she herself broken, bent, Starfleet’s cardinal protocol, the Prime Directive many times during these years?  She shook her head and looked to reassure Chakotay, “You know,” she placed her hand on his arm, “I would never let them imprison you, or any of the Maquis, as far as I am concerned,” she paused, staring intently at him, “Everyone on this ship has performed above and beyond the call of duty …”

“Kathryn,” he interrupted, “You may not get a vote in this,” he said, appreciating her loyalty. 

“Bridge,” she instructed the computer, before continuing, “I believe, Chakotay, there may be many people interested in hearing what Captain Janeway has to say for herself after all this time out here,” she smirked. 

Chakotay looked confused, “Are you implying …?”

She stepped out onto the bridge, “Let’s just say, they had better not push me too far!” she answered, trotting down the steps to the lower level.

Chakotay stared after her.  He knew she had meant what she said.  She would die in order to protect her crew.

“Mr Kim, could join assist B’Elanna and Seven in engineering?” Janeway didn’t wait for him to acknowledge as she called to Tuvok, “On screen.”  She briefly looked at the view before heading towards Tom, leaning slightly over him, “It looks as though you may be introducing your wife to your family very soon Tom,” she said, her voice low, intending her comment for his ears only.


Captain’s Log, Stardate ******,

We have held position at the outer edge of the wormhole for nine hours.  Astrometrics have been monitoring the probe’s data stream and confirm that the wormhole does indeed lead to the Alpha Quadrant.  The probe has enabled us to contact StarFleet command and it is the opinion of the Admirals and myself that Voyager should proceed into the Wormhole at 1800hrs.  I have instructed the senior staff to assemble all crew and prepare for an announcement.  End log.


Two hours later, on the bridge, Janeway regarded the First Officer by her side,  “I guess now’s the time …” she smiled at him apprehensively.  She had decided to address the crew an hour prior to the planned entrance into the wormhole.  She held out her hand to him.

Chakotay placed his hand into hers.  Locking his dark brown eyes with her blue ones. 

She squeezed his hand, drawing strength from the contact.  A second passed and then she released his hand, rising to her feet.

Captain Janeway stood in the middle of the bridge, hands on hips, “All hands, this is the Captain.  In one hour we will be entering the wormhole, the presence of which I am sure you’ve all been aware of for sometime. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your dedication and hard work during the last seven years.  I am extremely proud of each and every one of you.  This is a fine crew.  We have evolved far beyond what we were all those years ago.  StarFleet and Maquis,” she looked at Chakotay, “have worked together, fought together, become one.  I hope we never forget this and that no matter what, we continue to honour the relationships we have forged,” her voice wobbled slightly with emotion, her eyes blurring, distorting her view of Chakotay.  “It has been my pleasure to know you all.  You have been the finest crew a Captain could ask for,” she paused, catching her breath, watching the faces of the bridge crew.  She could smell the excitement in the air.  They were finally going home. 

“For our journey through the wormhole it is vital all crewmen not on a duty shift return to quarters.  Those on active duty will report to their senior officers for further details.  Janeway out,” she took in a deep breath as the com-link was severed. 

“Chakotay?” she motioned for him to join her in the Ready Room.

Inside she fetched two coffees from the replicator as Chakotay settled himself on the couch.  She handed him a steaming mug, before sitting beside him, “You finished packing, Chakotay?” she queried.

“There wasn’t much, I travel light!” he quipped.  “You done?”

“Not yet, I figured I would have time when we get there,” she said, her eyes looking down into hot black liquid.

She was startled by Chakotay’s hand covering hers, “It’s going to happen this time Kathryn,” he said.  “You’ve done it, you got them home …”

Tears wheeled up behind her eyes and she allowed them to softly trickle down her cheeks, “Oh, I’ve thought about this moment so many times, now I don’t know what to feel,” she offered.  “I suppose I’m worried that something will still go wrong.”

“Nothing will go wrong, I promise,” his eyes sought hers, soothing some of her reservations.  He smiled at her, “You do realise, as soon as we get to Earth I am going to take you out to the best coffee house in San Francisco,” he teased.

“Why San Francisco? Can’t you think grander than that Chakotay?” she tossed back.

One hour later, Captain Janeway sat in her command chair.  All bridge crew were at their stations.  The tension was obvious, even Tuvok seemed anxious, as anxious as a Vulcan could be.

Janeway’s voice broke the silence, “Mr Paris, set course for the wormhole, impulse only.”

“Aye Captain, course entered,” Tom replied.

Janeway straightened her shoulders, “Engage,” she commanded.

The image on the viewscreen neared, surrounding Voyager with its colourful haze.  No body spoke.  Everybody was looking forward.  Janeway was tightly gripping the arms of her chair, her knuckles white.  It was a moment before she let out the breath she was holding.

As the ship moved further into the anomaly, the crew gradually began to relax.  However, the entire ship was silent.

In sickbay the Doctor was monitoring the progress on his screen.  For once he had no comment to make.

B’Elanna’s crew in engineering were working diligently.  Silently carrying out their tasks. 

Neelix and Naomi watched the swirling blue/purple cloud from the mess hall.  Naomi punctuated the silence at intervals, pointing out faces she could see in the mist.  A game she and Neelix played regularly in the holodeck, cloud watching.

Seven monitored Voyager’s trajectory in astrometrics.  They were a quarter of the way through.  Seven was startled when the claxons sounded throughout the ship, the red alert lights flashing.

The bridge bucked and rolled, tossing the crew to the floor.  Janeway staggered to her chair, pulling herself into it, “Report!” she yelled.

Chakotay wiped away the blood seeping down his face and activated the console between them, “Damage coming in from all decks!”

“Captain,” it was Harry, “I’m reading hull fractures on decks 9, 11 and 12! Force fields holding …”

“Get the crew off them decks!” Janeway barked.

The claxons continued to sound their warning.

“Captain, we’ve lost warp drive,” Tom called out. 

“I believe the wormhole is de-stablising,” Tuvok said, “Shields down to 60%”.

Janeway’s thoughts spun, “Janeway to Seven, how long till we clear the other side?”

“We are almost half way through,” Seven answered.

“Tuvok,” Janeway turned to him as another shock hit the ship, causing her to jolt forward, “Can we re-enforce the rear shielding?”

“I’ve attempted that Captain, but it is no use.  Shields are now down to 45%” Was it possible for Tuvok to sound alarmed?

“We’re venting plasma from the starboard nacelle!” Harry shouted over the claxon.

“We’ll never outrun this without full impulse!” Tom yelled, his fingers flying over the console, trying to maintain course.

“Tuvok, can you fire torpedoes? Maybe cause an explosion that would wedged open the rear of the wormhole, stop it from crushing us?”  Janeway was grasping and she knew it.

“Negative Captain,” the Vulcan replied.

The ship bucked again, throwing Paris momentarily from his position.  Janeway hit the floor again.

“Shields down to 30%” Tuvok informed her.

“Captain!” Harry looked at her as she struggled to her feet, gripping the railing as she did so. 

Janeway hoped he had some good news, or an idea at least.

“I’m reading an unauthorised shuttle launch, …” Harry continued.

Janeway gasped, “Who? …”

“It’s Commander Chakotay, he’s taken the Flyer …” Harry looked up, eyes wide.

“Hail him!” Janeway had a sick feeling in her stomach.

Chakotay’s face filled the viewscreen.

“Just what the hell are you doing Commander?” she demanded.

“There’s no time to argue about this, …” he countered.

“Return to Voyager, now!” Janeway mustered as much authority as she could.

“I can’t do that Kathryn,” he said as he piloted the Flyer towards the collapsing iridescent mass behind Voyager.  “This is Voyager’s only chance, I’m going to shore up this end, give you time to reach the other,” he spoke through gritted teeth, it was taking all his strength to keep on course.

“Chakotay, you can’t possibly survive that!  Return to Voyager!” she yelled.

“No!” his voice was firm.  The screen blurred as the Flyer rocked.  “I promised you that you’d get this crew home.  I’m not about to break that,” his eyes locked with hers.

“Chakotay, please, we’ll find another way …” she implored, her voice catching.

“This is the only way Kathryn,” he paused, his own voice struggling.  “Say hello to Earth for me …”. He cut the connection.

Janeway spun around to face Harry, “Hail him again!”

“He’s not responding Captain,” Harry said as he frantically tried to re-establish contact with the shuttlecraft.

“Captain,” it was Tuvok, “I believe that the Commander’s decision is the only logical one available,” he offered.

“Damn logic!” Janeway yelled over the red alert.  “Get him back Harry, now!” She couldn’t believe this was happening.  “Chakotay, what the hell are you doing?” she muttered under her breath.

“He’s still not responding …” Harry called out.

Janeway rushed to Harry’s console, her fingers trying to accomplish what Harry had failed to do. After repeated attempts she thumped her fists down in frustration, tears stung at the back of her eyes.

“Tuvok, try a tractor beam …” Janeway ordered.

“I must point out that a tractor beam will further de-stabilise the wormhole,” Tuvok argued.

“There must be something …” she started.  “Can we beam him out?” It was a futile question and one she already knew the answer to.

“Captain, I believe Commander Chakotay has made a decision we have no choice but to uphold,” the Chief of Security spoke the words no one wanted to hear, especially Janeway.

“On screen,” Kathryn rasped as she staggered to the lower deck, holding the railing, afraid of her legs collapsing under her.

The entire bridge crew watched as the Delta Flyer moved further away from Voyager.  The small shuttle was getting plenty of knocks from the storm of the wormhole’s closure.  It’s shielding flickered with every lightening bolt.  Janeway watched helpless.

A violent explosion ripped the wormhole apart.  Voyager was thrown recklessly around. 

Minutes passed.  Janeway gradually regained consciousness.  Her head was cut, blood running down her cheek, mixing with her earlier tears.  She rose warily to her feet, coughing from the smoke billowing around.  Her eyes were stinging.  She could just see Paris in front of her.  He was heaving himself back into his chair; it looked as though his leg was broken.

“Status,” she croaked.

From behind Tuvok spoke, “We seem to have been thrown from the wormhole”.  She could vaguely hear him, over the sirens, tapping out commands on the console.  “I am attempting visual,” he explained.

“Harry, get environmental working, clear this damn smoke,” she barked, coughing at the same time.

The viewscreen flickered.  Janeway watched as it cleared, revealing clear space.  Stars twinkled in the distance.  There was no debris floating around.  “Chakotay? The Flyer?” she asked.

“There is no sign of the Commander’s shuttle Captain,” the Vulcan answered.  “However, I am detecting the residual traces of a warp core explosion.”

Janeway sagged into her chair as she processed the information.  She stared numbly towards Chakotay’s seat, as realisation dawned.  Chakotay had sacrificed his life for Voyager.  She barely heard Tuvok’s next words.

“Captain it appears we are three months from Federation space,” he reported.


Captain’s Log, Stardate ******,

It’s been one week since we emerged from the wormhole.  All repair teams are working around the clock to repair the damage Voyager sustained.  Unfortunately, not all of our losses can be so easily remedied.   I have noted in my official log Commander Chakotay’s bravery and the sacrifice he made in order for this crew to survive.  At 1500hrs today a memorial service for him will be held in the mess hall.  End log.


At 1500hrs, the senior staff and many of the crew paid their respects to the memory of Commander Chakotay in the mess hall.  There was no body to grieve over.  Nothing to cast out into the darkness of space.  Gentle sobbing could be heard from many of the female crew breaking the silence.

Captain Janeway stood before them.  All present wore their dress uniform.  She swallowed hard, willing the lump in her throat to disappear, “I know this is a difficult time for us all.  We will all miss Commander Chakotay’s kindness, his laughter, his willingness to listen to our problems.  He was a very dear …” she struggled not cry, “ … friend of mine and I know I will feel his loss every day of my life,” her voice caught and she looked at the floor.  It was a moment before she looked up again into the grief-stricken faces of those in front of her. 

“I know there are some of you who wish to say a few words,” she spoke softly, “B’Elanna, maybe …?” she looked towards the half-Klingon seated before her.

B’Elanna rose to her feet and walked towards the centre of the room.  Her eyes were swollen with crying.  She stole a glance at Tom, trying to gain strength from her husband.

“When I met Chakotay,” she began, “I was an angry young woman, constantly trying to pick a fight, fighting against the entire world.  Chakotay saw behind that, he took me under his protection,” she sniffed quietly.  “He saw in me potential that no one else ever had.  I fought him too, at the beginning, but he never gave up on me.  He was the first true friend I ever had,” she paced the floor.  “When we came on board Voyager, when Captain Janeway gave the order to fire on the Caretaker’s array, I challenged her; I was angry with her for destroying our only way home.  I remember asking who was “she to be making these decisions for us?” … and Chakotay grasped my shoulder and said, “She’s the Captain”, I looked at him and my anger faded.  I would have followed Chakotay anywhere.  I trusted him 100% and if he trusted the StarFleet Captain, then I would too,” she smiled at Janeway.  “Chakotay was a good judge of character,” she whispered.  “I wish so much that we weren’t here today, that we didn’t have to say goodbye to him …” her voice faltered and she was unable to say anymore.

Kathryn watched numbly, as Tom went to B’Elanna, wrapping his arms around her small form, holding her tightly to him.

Tom, cleared his throat, “I know it took a while for Chakotay and I to trust one another, but I’m glad that we overcame our differences and became friends.  He was a good man.  We spent many an hour together on the holodeck, swimming, you always beat me old man …” he spoke as if Chakotay could hear him.  “ … in Sandrine’s, you were never a good pool player.  I’ll value those times,” he too seemed at a loss for words.

Kathryn barely heard the other tributes from the rest of the crew.  A tear escaped and rolled silently down her cheek, she made no attempt to wipe it away.  She pondered how unreal everything seemed, like a bad dream.  Tuvok’s voice brought her back to moment.

“I wish you a peaceful resting place Commander Chakotay.  It was an honour to both know you and serve with you,” Tuvok said simply.

Janeway nodded to the crewman by her side who sounded the salute.  The crew stood to attention as Janeway spoke, “Commander Chakotay, we mourn the passing of your existence from this life and hope that your journey into the Spirit World be a peaceful one,” she was having difficulty standing; her legs had turned to jelly.

Tuvok came to her side, his presence meant as a comfort to her.  Although he had no emotions, he recognised the anguish his friend and Captain was going through.  He had silently witnessed his commanding officers’ through the years and knew the depth of the love they had for one another, love which they never expressed.  He motioned for her to join him in the corner.  He had something in his possession that was meant for her, “Captain …” in his hand he held out a PADD.

Kathryn took it, her hand shaking, her eyes questioning Tuvok’s, “What’s this?” she asked.

“I found it among the Commander’s personal effect.  It is a message for you, to be given in the occasion of his death,” he offered.

She regarded the PADD in her hand; the only link remaining of the man that had constantly stood by her side for seven years.  The same man she had secretly loved more than anything else.  Kathryn was torn in two; half of her wanted nothing more than to be alone and read what he intended for her.  The other half wanted to hide it away in a drawer, afraid that the pain that would tear her apart. 

Tuvok watched Janeway as she fought her inner demons.  He had debated giving the message to her, “I have been waiting for a suitable time in which I could have spoken to you about this,” he noticed her eyes clouding over. “I have since realised there may never be a good time,” he concluded, pausing briefly before walking away.

Kathryn observed his leaving.  Unable to move she stood alone in the corner, the PADD clutched tightly against her chest.

The Captain’s quarters were in darkness.  Kathryn sat on the couch holding her umpteenth cup of coffee.  She wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting like this.  By her side sat Chakotay’s message that Tuvok had given her earlier.  It was still un-read.  She drew her legs up, wrapping her free arm around her knees.  She rocked slowly.  Kathryn knew what grief felt like, she’d lost her father, Justin, but losing Chakotay had torn a gaping hole inside her.  She felt totally alone. 

Kathryn took a drink from the cup, letting the caffeine sooth her.  She took a breath and reached for the PADD.  Her thumb brushed over it, activating the communication stored within.

The sound of Chakotay’s voice filled the room, rocking her to the very core of her being.

“Hello Kathryn,” he began, “If you are hearing this, it is because I am no longer with you.”

Kathryn began to cry.  Her tears fell un-checked down her face, as she stared at the bulkhead that once separated her and Chakotay’s quarters.

“There are so many things I want to tell you.  I have left behind a program for you in the holodeck.  Please activate it Kathryn.  It’s filed under “Chakotay Farewell, 3”, I hope it brings you some comfort.  End recording.”

The room returned to silence.  Kathryn sat a while longer.  Eventually she rose to her feet and walked unsteadily to the door. 

The bright lights of the corridor assaulted her eyes and she blinked fiercely as she made her way to the turbolift.  Two crewmen passed her, throwing her sympathetic glances, noticing her red swollen eyes.  She didn’t acknowledge them.

The holodeck doors closed behind her, “Computer engage privacy lock,” she said taking a breath as she looked around her at the cold silver holo-grid.

Kathryn shuddered; the lack of sleep and the high intake of caffeine, combined with the stress of the last week was catching up on her.  Her stomach tightened as she spoke, “Computer, activate programme “Chakotay Farewell 3”.

The computer bleeped its acknowledgement and a figure appeared in front of her.  Her heart pounded.

“Hello Kathryn,” it was Chakotay standing before her.  For a moment she hoped that it was the real him. 

“I know it was difficult for you to come here and activate this message.  Thank you.  There’s so much I want to tell you, so much to say,” the hologram smiled at her.

“When you first appeared on my viewscreen I knew here was a woman who I would have trouble denying anything.  That first meeting on Voyager’s bridge, when you faced up to me, did you ever realise just what thoughts were running through my mind?” he chuckled.  “If you did, you would have thrown me into the brig for sure, I fell in love with you from that moment Kathryn”.

A sob escaped Kathryn’s throat as her tears flowed freely once more.

The hologram continued, “I have tried many times to tell you this face to face.  The nearest I ever came to it was my Angry Warrior legend on New Earth.  I know, that deep down you love me too, and I hope that at some point in our future we have been able to express that love”.

“Oh Chakotay …” Kathryn murmured between sobs.

“I want you to know, that the years spent on Voyager have been the happiest of my life.  Knowing you, being your friend was my greatest achievement.    I know you will get this crew home.  I have faith in you Kathryn, I always have, although you might not always realise this.  There have been many times when we have argued, when you may have doubted me.  But that was the Captain and First Officer, not Kathryn and Chakotay.  I have respected you as a Captain, but I have loved you as the woman that you have let me see.”

Kathryn wiped her face with her sleeve; her tears were blurring her vision.

“I treasured those moments when it was just Chakotay and Kathryn.  Our moonlight sails on Lake George, the dinners together, the talks that would go late into the night.  Every moment we spent together is etched upon my memory Kathryn,” even a holographic Chakotay had those dimples. 

“I know you think at the moment that you can’t go on, but you have to, you have to go forward, without me,” it was as if he could read her thoughts, “You have strength Kathryn, it is one of the many features I admire in you”.

There was a pause in the program before it continued, “I will never break my promise to you Kathryn, even in the Spirit World I will continue to stay by your side.  I love you, my beautiful woman warrior.  Chakotay out.”

The image disappeared, leaving Kathryn once more surrounded by the silver holo-grid.  She dropped to her knees crying.


Kathryn Janeway’s Personal Log, Stardate ******,

It has been three months since Chakotay died.  I miss him everyday.  There has been many times in which I find myself trying to hail him.  His death has left a huge hole in my life.  He is in my thoughts constantly.  Every corridor and room on Voyager serves as a constant reminder of him.  I will be relived to leave this ship today. 

We are in orbit of Earth.  The crew are packed and ready to leave.  I have packed my possessions, including Chakotay’s personal effects, which I instructed Tuvok to deliver to me after he had emptied Chakotay’s quarters.

When I look at Chakotay’s medicine bundle I think back to his holo-message.  One day, I may be able to contact him, when some of the pain had faded.

Earlier I kept my promise to him.  I looked out of my viewport and said “hello to Earth” for him.  It is strange that after so many years in which I have spent trying to get home, I never knew that my home was wherever Chakotay was.  End Log.
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