| No More Denying… Part 3 The Picnic Disclaimer: See parts 1 and 2 Rating: 13 some sexual reference, no graphics! Author’s Note: This story, inc parts 1 and 2 are mine!!! Summary: (Because it’s been awhile and you may have forgotten!) It’s been two years since Voyager returned to Earth via an artificial wormhole provided by StarFleet. In part 1 Kathryn and fiancé Mark attended the 2nd celebratory party onboard Voyager in the Sandrine’s simulation. Kathryn danced with Chakotay, while Mark watched the chemistry between them and overheard two crewmen gossiping about their relationship Chakotay told B’Elanna that he couldn’t attend Kathryn’s wedding because he still loved her. In part 2 Mark and Kathryn argued about the evening and her relationship with Chakotay. Mark walked away, leaving Kathryn crying……. Four Months Later….. The sun was high in the sky and Kathryn scalded herself for not wearing a hat. She was sitting on a wooden bench within the grounds of StarFleet Academy. Shielding her eyes from the sun, she looked into the distance, watching as Boothby tended his flowers. She had to give him credit, even when she was a cadet; the grounds had been beautiful; they still were. Bright shades of pink, yellow and blue were dotted throughout the greenery. The trees and shrubs, injecting varieties of both texture and colour. It was a testimony to his many years of service and dedication. She checked her watch, half an hour to go. Her stomach lurched and she willed herself to relax. She took a deep breath and stretched her legs out in front of her. She glanced at the bulging satchel beside her on the bench, hoping for the umpteenth time this morning that Phoebe was right. Since the night Mark had left, Kathryn found herself talking more and more with her sister. Unfortunately, not all of their little chats had been Kathryn’s choice. In fact, whenever possible, Phoebe had taken it upon herself to force Kathryn to listen to her advice. Okay, so she’d phoned Phoebe the morning after Mark left, told her what had happened, cried in her arms even, but that hadn’t given her sister licence to push her nose in at will. She could still hear Phoebe’s last lecture running around in her mind: “Have you spoken to him yet?” “Give me a chance! I’ve only just come back from three months patrolling the Neutral Zone.” “Which you volunteered for!” Kathryn pulled a face “Kathryn, you’re my sister….” “Older sister…” “You’re always trying to hold yourself back, keep everything under control. You just can’t stop being Captain Janeway. I think you’ve forgotten how to be just Kathryn…” “Ouch!” “I’m sorry, but I care for you and I know what’s best.” “Funny how you do when I don’t!” “You just won’t admit it!” “Pah!” “Kathryn! Why do you still deny it? You love him! I know it! You know it! Hell Mark knew it! The only one who doesn’t is Chakotay!” Kathryn blushed “Listen to me, this isn’t a life you’re living, it’s an existence! You’ve put StarFleet before everything, including yourself! How many captains would have remained alone for seven years, because of protocol? Not many!” “But…” “No buts. Stop trying to analyse everything, let yourself go, live a little, take a risk! Trust your heart. Don’t lose him Kathryn…Tell him.” “Who turned you into an expert on relationships?” “I’m not…I just know you, that’s all and I want to see you happy.” “What if he doesn’t feel the same anymore? What if I make a fool of myself?” “You’ll never know unless you try…” Kathryn was startled back to the present by the whispering voices of two passing cadets; “Isn’t that Captain Janeway of Voyager?” “Yeah, it looks like her…” “She looks so tiny…I always thought that she would be taller somehow.” “Me too…” They passed her, still looking out of the corner of their eyes. Kathryn smiled inwardly, she still wasn’t used to the celebrity status that she had been elevated to. There were times when it was downright embarrassing, like the time she and Mark were having a romantic meal, he’d leant over to kiss her and suddenly a group of cadets had surrounded their table wanting to take holo images of her! The great Captain Janeway, mouth open with surprise, lasagne sauce on her chin! I bet that was one for the hall of fame at StarFleet Command! She chuckled at the image. Still, that was in the past. She had dealt with her feelings of losing Mark and could now look back on their time together with fondness. There would always be a place for him in her heart; he’d been her friend too long for her to feel anything other. His absence wasn’t as painful as it had been all those years ago when she had found herself stranded in the Delta Quadrant, when getting home and being with him again was her driving force. She’d changed, he had said so himself. At some point she had found herself wanting to get back to the Alpha Quadrant, not to be with Mark, but to see if, once away from the pressure of command, her and Chakotay could forge a deeper relationship. Of course, that hadn’t happened. Once back Chakotay had become withdrawn and took measures to avoid her. She had tried to speak with him on several occasions, but he was distant. After the de-briefings he had resigned from StarFleet and left Earth. She had been hurt that he hadn’t told her himself, or even let her know why. It had been Admiral Paris that had informed Kathryn of Chakotay’s decision. Even now she had no idea what had made him go. Afterwards it had been natural for her to lean on Mark again, the way she had leant on him many years before. Poor Mark, she never wanted to hurt him. Kathryn had spent a lot of time sorting out her emotions over the last four months. Seeing Chakotay at the party had rocked her to her core. It was B’Elanna who had told her that Chakotay had been invited to give a series of archeological lectures at the Academy. B’Elanna had also encouraged Kathryn to contact him. Once again her stomach lurched, reminding her to check her watch. Times up, she mused. Gods I hope this isn’t a mistake. Again she could hear Phoebe’s advice “You’ll never know unless you try…..” She stood up, hoping to re-join her stomach in the process. Why am I so nervous? It’s not like we’ve never had lunch together before! She picked up the satchel and headed off towards the auditorium, head held high, trying to look more confident than she felt. The inside of the auditorium was in darkness; the only light was the projected holo images on the stage. Kathryn blinked trying to adjust her eyes. It took a moment before she was able to look around, noting that there weren’t many spare seats. He’s certainly pulled a crowd, she thought. His soft voice carried around the room and she smiled at the familiarity of it. The holo images finished and the illumination of the stage was increased. She watched as he blinked and straightened up the pads in front of him. He looked out to the audience, one hand over his eyes. “Questions?” A hand was raised at the front, followed by the sound of girls giggling “Yes…. Cadet?” “Er, Anderson sir…” “Go on..” He gave her an encouraging smile “Well, I’ve got one question sir, what are you doing later?” Kathryn was sure that she could see him blush and she held her breath waiting to hear his answer. He smiled at the boldness of the question “I’m afraid cadet, that I’m busy tonight, thanks for the offer. Class dismissed.” The cadets started to empty the room, filing past Kathryn. No one noticed who she was. Chakotay collected his padds and images together; the room now empty as he turned to start climbing the steps to the door. As he got closer he could see a silhouette standing against the glare of the sunlight. There was something familiar about the stance, one hand on hip. Another step closer and he could see the glow of red hair. His heart skipped a beat, hoping he was right. He quickened his pace, nearly running to the top, stopping before her. She was a welcome sight. Her hair was a little longer now, just brushing past her shoulders, her eyes still that deep blue, complimented by the pale blue dress she was wearing. Kathryn felt slightly embarrassed under his scrutiny, wondering whether she should have worn something else. She smiled awkwardly, looking up at him, not knowing what to say. “Kathryn!” “Hello Chakotay.” “Gods!” He placed the things he was carrying on the floor, freeing his arms. Kathryn smiled as she watched him, relieved that he seemed nervous too. He moved as though to embrace her, to hold her tight to him, to tell her how much he’d been missing her. She stood waiting for him to make the move. He didn’t know whether to hug her or not. Uncertainty crossed his face. He coughed slightly, feeling his face redden and returned to pick up his belongings. He didn’t see the disappointment on her face. He was aware of how she was making him feel, but tried to keep the situation light. “I didn’t expect to see you here.” “I took the liberty of checking that you were free for lunch!” He beamed at her, revealing those dimples and she hoped he hadn’t heard her catch her breath. “Great! What do you have in mind?” Great, he thought, at least I’ll be able to spend some time with her. She grunted as she shifted the weight of the satchel on her shoulder, before walking out into the sun “I thought, lovely day like today…” She gestured with her hand “…we could find somewhere to sit and enjoy a picnic..” Chakotay stopped her placing a hand on her arm. She searched his face wondering what he was thinking. “Who made the food?” She laughed and slapped him lightly on the arm “I replicated the sandwiches, the fruit is fresh and the chocolate brownies are my mother’s!” He laughed “Well, in that case, lead on Captain!” A short while later they were sitting on the grass, the remains of the picnic laid between them. A comfortable silence had surrounded them. It was good to see her, he thought. He had entertained to notion of contacting her while he was here, but….He watched her. She was lying back, propped up on both elbows, eyes closed, head leant back catching the sun, one leg slightly bent, causing her dress to slide up a fraction, revealing a white thigh. His gaze focused on her legs, willing the dress to slip further up. He tried to control the feeling rising within him as his eyes crossed her flat stomach, pausing to watch her breasts rise with her breathing, the buttons on her dress gapping slightly. Gods he wanted to reach out and unbutton them, freeing her into his waiting hands. His lips yearned to kiss her smooth neck, which was tantalisingly open to him. He was shocked to hear a slight moan escape from him and tried to turn it into a cough. Kathryn was aware of his eyes on her body, aware of the feelings that they stirred within her. She heard him moan. She turned her head to him and opened her eyes, locking his with hers, seeing his desire for her. He was embarrassed and gave her a sheepish grin, shifting his position, trying to hide the bulge in his pants. She watched as he focused onto the remainder of the grapes, popping them into his mouth. Despite his best effort, Kathryn had noticed his response to her and was impressed by how big it seemed. Excitement tingled inside her and she rolled over to her side, resting her head in her hand, the other draping over her hips. She wanted to be able to look properly at him. He busied himself with the grapes as her eyes roamed his body. Chakotay was resting on one elbow, head turned from her, so she could only see his profile. She looked up at him, following the markings of his tattoo, the line of his strong chin, down his chest, taking full advantage of the view that his gaping shirt allowed her. Her fingers begged to reach out and feel the muscles of his dark chest, pressing over his stomach, moving lower. She was shocked to find herself wondering what he looked like naked. She blushed and hoped he hadn’t noticed. He took a drink from the water bottle and offered it to her with a smile. She took it and eyed him as her lips covered it and she tilted her head back to drink. Gods, he thought he was going to explode! He was definitely going to need a very cold shower soon. She placed the bottle on the ground and looked up at him. “Do you really have plans for tonight?” Her voice was husky. He struggled to find his in order to reply. “No.” “Join me for dinner?” Chakotay was losing the ability to think straight. He resisted the urge to roll Kathryn on her back and cover her body with his, pressing his lips on hers. He tried to tell himself that she was just inviting him as friend. He took a deep breath, willing himself to appear normal. She waited for his answer. “On one condition.” She looked a little startled “What’s that?” “I cook!” He smiled at her. “Deal!” Chakotay checked his watch “I’ve got to go…” - …before I do something I regret..- He finished the sentence in his head She nodded. They started to clear away the remains of their lunch, packing it back into the satchel. He stood up and offered his hand to pull her to her feet. She accepted. The next moment Kathryn found herself off balance and being steadied by his arms around her. She looked into his dark orbs and watched as he tried to conceal his thoughts. His gaze burned into her soul. Their thoughts raced - Kiss me – - Kiss her – - Please, Chakotay, I won’t push you away – - If only you knew how much I want you – - Let me know that you still feel the same – - Spirits! I want you so badly; I could press you against that tree and make love to you right now! – - Kiss me Chakotay! I want to feel you against me – - Just kiss her! – Chakotay let out a sigh and removed his arms from her. It was all Kathryn could do not to groan out loud. He looked down, mentally kicking himself. He’d spent so long trying to hide his feelings that he just couldn’t let them surface. He stepped back and looked around, anywhere but at her face. He didn’t want to see the relief etched on it. Had he looked, he would have seen her dazed expression as she blinked back tears of disappointment. He handed her the satchel and gathered his research, tucking it under one arm. “See you tonight?” It was a question; he wanted to give her the chance of changing her mind. She smiled at him “My place, 1900hrs, don’t be late and don’t forget you’re cooking!” “Aye Captain!” He flashed her those dimples again and walked away, back in the direction they had come from. She watched him leave, feeling breathless. She remembered how he had looked at her; he still wanted her, didn’t he? His thoughts were tumbling as he walked. What was she trying to do to him? He needed a cold shower before his next lecture and it wasn’t from the heat of the day! He had a feeling that the image of her with the water bottle was going to be appearing regularly in his dreams! I should have kissed her, it didn’t look like she was about to object or slap me! A thought struck Chakotay, it hadn’t looked like Kathryn was going to turn away from him, she hadn’t tried to get out of his arms. Hope leapt through him. He turned, seeing her watching him, she gave him a wave and then turned. He backed straight into Boothby. “Steady son!” Chakotay whirled around in surprise. Boothby studied his face and recognised who it was. “Ah…Commander Chakotay!” “It’s just Chakotay these days…” “Mmm, so I’d heard.” Chakotay looked at the disappearing figure of Kathryn. “It was for the best.” Boothby noted who Chakotay was looking at “The best for who son?” Chakotay looked at him. Boothby returned his attention to the roses around him. “Do you know how long I’ve been here?” Chakotay shook his head “No sir, I don’t.” Boothby chuckled “Neither do I for sure!” Chakotay looked confused “You see, when you really care about something, it doesn’t matter how many years you devote yourself to it. All that matters is that you want to. You reap the rewards that patience, kindness and love bring….Some days, it seems that I get nothing back for my effort, but do you know what? Today this rose flowered for the first time in years!” He pointed to a rose in bud and continued “The times I’ve nearly given up on it, but something wouldn’t let me, now look! It’s beautiful! Oh I know it’s still in bud, but it’ll develop, day by day. Having spent so long tending it, the real gift is to behold its beauty and to sit back and enjoy it. Some things are worth waiting for, worth the time and energy that’s needed to coax them to bloom.” Chakotay realised that Boothby isn’t just talking about flowers here. He looked into the older man’s face, seeing the wisdom beyond it. He smiled and watched as Boothby removed a bright red rose from a nearby bush. “Here son, give this to someone special.” Chakotay took the rose. “Thank you Boothby.” Chakotay walked away, his thoughts firmly on Kathryn. He looked at the rose in his hand and wondered whether Boothby was right. One thing for sure, it was going to be a long afternoon before he saw her again. |
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