The Sly Sliprock Files

The IYDFFL’s millions of fans will remember the inaugural season for many years to come. The historical y2k season met all of the lofty expectations with 16 weeks of smash mouth fantasy football. Of course, last season will be well-remembered from the writings of the IYDFFL’s favorite fantasy journalist, Sly Sliprock.

We have preserved these memorable musings in the IYDFFL archives and compiled this collection. You can view these samples below. For the most avid fantasy football fan, we are making available to the public a special limited time offer. The Sly Files 2000 is our compilation of the IYDFFL through Sly’s eyes. Not available in any stores, this beautiful volume, hand-bound in rich Corinthian leather, is produced in limited numbers. Along with your numbered copy, you will receive a certificate of authenticity since only 2000 copies will be printed and each contains the signature of the IYDFFL Commissioner, Jon Boyd. They are now available for a special price of $119.99. Make your check payable to: IYDFFL – Sly Files Offer, c/o The Alamo Village Motel, 1500 Old Spanish Trail Suite 15, Houston, TX 77000.

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Norsemen choice	Sly Sliprock-IYDFFL	11:23 am thursday june 8, 2000
I have just came from Norsemen headquarters and here will report that the Norsemen have selected Edjerrin James(Ind) with the first pick in the draft. I heard it from General Manager Klaus Foreman himself. Did the Norsemen risk everything on a one-year wonder or is James the real thing. They will have to wait a long time(last in 2nd round) before they get another shot at a player. Time will tell if the Norsemen management have thier heads screwed on right. Stay tuned for further coverage. Sly signing off.

re: Norsemen choice	allan	5:53 pm friday june 9, 2000
glad to see the sense of humor...I think I'll follow the league.        ALLAN

re: Draft Selections	Sly Sliprock-IYDFFL	9:00 am saturday june 10, 2000
:1-Edgerrin James :2-Marshall Faulk :3-Peyton Manning         :4-Eddie George :5-Fred Taylor : :Dallas/Fort Worth Definition on board Four out of the first five picks are running backs. Indications are that most owners believe there is a shortage of quality rb's, hence the reason for this much interest. Most ff leagues herald the backfield over everything else. The selection of Manning was a good one though. He is set for a great season with the talent the Colts have assembled. No one has selected Terrell Davis yet? There may be some concern on whether he will recover from the injury. Put your concerns aside. This reporter has seen him run. He could top 20 td's this year. Sly Sliprock reporting... : :

re: Draft Selections	Allan	1:47 pm saturday june 10, 2000
I dont think anyone questions davis's ability I think they question the team around him. Coming off an injury, a terrible first 4 games with 8 man fronts b/c no one respects griese (as well they shouldnt at this point) and the fact that the defense isnt that great with a few people that have left via free agency and also the suspension of Dale Carter however are causes for concern.         ALLAN

1st round analysis	Sly Sliprock	11:36 am wednesday june 14, 2000
The wheels are in motion after a mid-round slowdown. Obviously, some are looking in different, curious directions in this first ever draft for the IYDFFL. I think the wording in this league stands for IN YOUR DREAMS FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE. Teams in dreamland are: Outlaws (in the Outland) Just what has Mark Brunell done to warrant a first round selection?? Excuuuuuuse ME! Brunell has underachieved each and every year. I hope he proves this reporter wrong. Hey Norsemen...What about moving up a little. By the time you draft, the dust will be settling on this Acer product??? and you will be looking at some high school rb with pot... Whirlers are figuring that Daunte Culpepper will be able to find Randy Moss before he tries to make the line of scrimmage. A leaky Vike line will have him running scared. At least he got the marvelous one. Now if Manning only had another target???? Okay Maulers, Dorsey Levens could have a good year but to take him over Emmitt. Come on!! Green Bay is past its prime. Look for the Maulers to get mauled this year. Locked in and focussed!! Lords taking Faulk was a no-brainer. Good choice Cajuns will have some good cooking with Manning at the helm. Hitmen have got the kingpin at Favre. He could be the best QB this year! On the Sly side: The contractual squabble between S.Davis will get resolved with the Skins soon. They are playing a roulette version of salary cap fun. The Hail Mary's will resemble a rushing machine with Ricky Williams and Davis in the backfield. The Roughnecks selection of Terrell Davis with seventh overall pick is indicative of how well he is coming back from injury. By all reports he will be 100% by training camp. The only problem lies in the Bronc QB situation. Will Griese be it or is Frerotte going to take over the helm early on? My prediction for the offensive show this year is Indy and Wash. It is only this reporters opinion though. Sly Sliprock reporting. By the by, The Norsemen won't allow easy access to his pc, so I may have to improvise in the future.

2nd round assessment	Sly Sliprock	4:03 pm saturday june 17, 2000
The second round of the inaugural IYDFFL season has been completed starting with a QB and ending with an RB. The Maulers get Brad (looking over the shoulder) Johnson. I wonder if he is looking at George too! Might be a good plan. Big Pimpin moved up and snared what I consider the best WR in the draft at Marvin Harrison. Hail Mary is praying that Ric Williams personal problems in the Big Easy are over. Still with Steph Davis in the fold is not in bad shape. look out for the Hitmen with Favre and Emmit now. Could be a potent duo. Curtis (soft on grass but tough on turf) Martin goes to the Storm. That with Eddie George is good duo. The Norsemen are hoping the tendinitis report of Jamal Anderson is a only a minor setback. They better hope. All they got is James and a lot of wishful thinking. The Lords made a good pickup getting Duce Staley late in the second. He is very underrated and with Marshall Faulk, they are looking good. James ( not the dead actor) Stewart was the final selection for the Cajuns who have been busy wheeling and dealing. Overall we have seen 13 running backs 5 Quarterbacks 6 wide receivers taken through two rounds. Not surprising. Most ffers are firmly in the mindset that the backfield needs to be established first and foremost. The only surprise to this reporter has been the drafting of Brunell and R.Williams so high. Otherwise, it appears to be following a general rule of thought. Sly Sliprock reporting

Team by Team Projections	Howie Long	12:44 pm tuesday june 20, 2000
Hi, I've been brought in from the Fox studios to give some analysis on which teams look strong for the IYDFFL inaugural season... Noresman:gm-Steven Novak(t-3rd in division) Taking E. James with the #1 pick was a good choice as well as Jamal Anderson, however taking Carter on his last leg will cost him in the long run. Big Pimpin:gm-Dre Johnson(2nd in division) Great move by trading down, the gain some serious positions and still get F. Taylor.  Also acquiring M. Harrison will prove fatal for opponents. Ragin Cajuns:gm-Chris Harper(1st in divison) By far the most active manager.  Taking Manning established them as a contender for years to come.  They also chose guys that are locked up for at least 4 yrs in Stewart and Robinson.  I really like Robinson cause he has size and all the Bears qbs will go to him.  Taking Dayne was a gamble, but I like the odds, he and Lewis for rookie of the year honors... Toledo Storm:gm-Scott Skellie(2nd in division) E. George is solid, but contract talks leaves a ?  Curtis "my favorite" Martin was a great selection but Couch in the 3rd, could have gotten in the 4th. Kaula L. Lords:gm-Marcus Oh(1st in division) Faulk, Staley and Bledsoe will light it up this year, but losing picks in the later rounds will hurt. D/FW Defintion:gm-Cary Smith(2nd in division) This guy may be in the best shape after the 4th round.  He has grabbed solid talent in Warner and Smith and watch those 3 4th round picks. Romano's Roughnecks:gm-Allan Romano(3rd in division) The snorting, shoot 'em sounded gm has strange ideas, but great drafting ability.  Davis, Alstott and A. Freeman will all bruise their way to the end zone. Phantom Hitmen:gm-Eric Weiner(4th in division) Favre will rebound big this year, Emmitt was iffy though, Lewis great choice. Outlaws:gm-Bert Robertson(4th in division) Quietly grabbed Brunell and Keyshawn"give me the damn ball" Johnson... M. Hail Mary's:gm-Dave Brooks(3rd in division) Likes rbs in Williams and Davis.  Ricky will be a big suprise.   Walls is the best t.e. but in the 3rd, "hello!" Whirling Dhervishes:gm-Jon Boyd(t-3rd in divison) Mr. Six figures will have no problem sticking Moss and Bruce at wr.  However, I dont like the selection of Enis in 3rd.  He   could of had Buerlien or Jones. Minnesota Maulers:gm-Craig Kindle(1st in divison) This team and owner I think made the best selections so far.   Johnson-great, Levens-good, Galloway-will shine big in Big D, Westbrook-great combo with Johnson.   Well thats all, if you would like me to make another appearance at the end of the draft let me know here, thanks, and Ill see you on the gridiron. Howie

re: Team by Team Projections	Dre'	12:55 pm tuesday june 20, 2000
I welcome Howie back keep it up do it every round you and Sly can just keep us on track and add some excitement.

re: Team by Team Projections	Sly Sliprock	9:56 am wednesday june 21, 2000
:I welcome Howie back keep it up do it :every round you and Sly can just keep :us on track and add some excitement. This league ain't big enough for the two of us. Stick with Fox! Howie

I have returned!!	Sly Sliprock	11:35 am thursday june 29, 2000
You can only hope to contain the Sly. The Commish wielded his mighty sword of censorship and strapped the (IYDFFL officially sanctioned) tape on my mouth. The fleece lined (felt good) handcuffed mittens prevented me from typing (also licensed by the IYDFFL) but the masses have spoken. I am back. Now if I can only remember where I left off. Anyway, First here is news on the SLY side: Outlaws in Outland: Bert Robertson resigned this last week. Some would say he could not stand the pressure of wheeling and dealing in this elite league. I think he maybe could not stand the embarrassment of drafting M.Brunell so early:). Welcome Kevin! I only hope your last name isn't an indication to how your players feel :-> I burroughed through the barbed wire of the Pimpin Headquarters perimeter and placed my ear to the wall overhearing the heated discussion between GM Dre and the coaching staff. Consternation abounds with the trade that cost a draft pick for Jamal Anderson. That was nothing like what I heard at the Norsemen HQ Seems this organization is in disarray trading one injury prone player for a real suspicious injury prone and all they are getting is a 9th rounder. I am going to recap the 5th and 6th rounds here. I hope you are keeping notes. I don't want to repeat myself. The Norsemen started off with a Dud and ended with a Toom. Pretty strange but that is how goes in the wacky IYDFFL Dverishes were whirling as Antowaine (will he live up to potential) Smith goes to them and then the real curious pick of Hollis. Methinks the Commish was too consumed with Sly problems in this round... The Cajuns were cooking getting Jeffers and then Wycheck. Not a bad two round effort. Big Pimpin likes the big,bad new Vike QB and then takes a chance on Bubba. So so for the Big one in these two rounds. The Storm weathers a rough round. Jerry Rice??? is on the downside and then counters with Derrick (here come the d-teams) Mayes. The Hail Marys are on track taking Kevin Johnson. Good move. KJ is a future great with a good young QB at the helm. The Lords should stay at Buckingham Palace with the Glenn pick but really nailed it taking Torrie Holt. Holt, this reporter, believes will outdo the great Bruce who is due for another hamstring year.LOL The Hitmen did better than all. Picking up Ricky Watters this late was great but getting Sir Albert (should be a Lord)Connell was a real good move. The Roughnecks get Charlie (boring) Garner but do pick up a gutsy QB in Gannon. Gannon's cannon was sounding last year as the Raiders started showing something totally uncharacteristic....OFFENSE at times. The Maulers did well taking Dillon in the 5th but a kicker this early..Shame on you! The commish copied from the list of the resigned Bert and came up with a good red zone guy in McCaffrey but taking Aikman really had me pondering. Overall, These rounds saw some real talent go but also there were some unexpected moves. Two kickers, this early, just does not make sense but what the hey. You guys are the experts...ha. This is Sly Sliprock reporting..

re: I have returned!!	Marcus	7:15 am friday june 30, 2000
Kudos to you Squire Sly, you're simply the best, keep it up!!!!!!!!!!

re: I have returned!!	GM Norsemen	11:07 am friday june 30, 2000
:You can only hope to contain the Sly. The Commish wielded his :mighty sword of censorship and strapped the (IYDFFL officially :sanctioned) tape on my mouth. The fleece lined (felt good) :handcuffed mittens prevented me from typing (also licensed by the :IYDFFL) but the masses have spoken. I am back. : :Now if I can only remember where I left off. Anyway, First here :is news on the SLY side: : :Outlaws in Outland: :Bert Robertson resigned this last week. Some would say he could :not stand the pressure of wheeling and dealing in this elite :league. I think he maybe could not stand the embarrassment of :drafting M.Brunell so early:). Welcome Kevin! I only hope your :last name isn't an indication to how your players feel :-> : :I burroughed through the barbed wire of the Pimpin Headquarters :perimeter and placed my ear to the wall overhearing the heated :discussion between GM Dre and the coaching staff. Consternation :abounds with the trade that cost a draft pick for Jamal Anderson. :That was nothing like what I heard at the Norsemen HQ : :Seems this organization is in disarray trading one injury prone :player for a real suspicious injury prone and all they are :getting is a 9th rounder. : :I am going to recap the 5th and 6th rounds here. I hope you are :keeping notes. I don't want to repeat myself. :The Norsemen started off with a Dud and ended with a Toom. Pretty :strange but that is how goes in the wacky IYDFFL : :Dverishes were whirling as Antowaine (will he live up to :potential) Smith goes to them and then the real curious pick of :Hollis. Methinks the Commish was too consumed with Sly problems :in this round... : :The Cajuns were cooking getting Jeffers and then Wycheck. Not a :bad two round effort. : :Big Pimpin likes the big,bad new Vike QB and then takes a chance :on Bubba. So so for the Big one in these two rounds. : :The Storm weathers a rough round. Jerry Rice??? is on the :downside and then counters with Derrick (here come the d-teams) :Mayes. : :The Hail Marys are on track taking Kevin Johnson. Good move. KJ :is a future great with a good young QB at the helm. : :The Lords should stay at Buckingham Palace with the Glenn pick :but really nailed it taking Torrie Holt. Holt, this reporter, :believes will outdo the great Bruce who is due for another :hamstring year.LOL : :The Hitmen did better than all. Picking up Ricky Watters this :late was great but getting Sir Albert (should be a Lord)Connell :was a real good move. : :The Roughnecks get Charlie (boring) Garner but do pick up a gutsy :QB in Gannon. Gannon's cannon was sounding last year as the :Raiders started showing something totally :uncharacteristic....OFFENSE at times. : :The Maulers did well taking Dillon in the 5th but a kicker this :early..Shame on you! : :The commish copied from the list of the resigned Bert and came up :with a good red zone guy in McCaffrey but taking Aikman really :had me pondering. : :Overall, These rounds saw some real talent go but also there were :some unexpected moves. Two kickers, this early, just does not :make sense but what the hey. You guys are the experts...ha. :This is Sly Sliprock reporting.. The Norsemen management is not...I repeat is not in disarray. Tim Biakabutuka is one of the most explosive weapons in pro football. Coaches and management are in complete agreement. We gained a draft spot too. We are convinced completely that this trade benefitted both teams. Pimpin received an outstanding back in Anderson who is capable of 1100 yards and 15 tds. It was a tough decision but what Sly misreported as a 'management in disarray' was nothing more than the decision-making process. Security has been increased at our training facility located in Eagan. We have our fences laced with lutefisk. Hopefully, that will keep the Sly one out.

Sly is banned	commish	8:56 pm thursday july 6, 2000
The IYDFFL Ad Hoc Committee for Public Affairs voted unanimously to place Sly Sliprock on Emergency Double-Secret Probation (EDSP).  Any further infraction, no matter how minor, will result in permanent banishment from the IYDFFL.  While he is on on EDSP, he will be banned from the League Headquarters located at the Alamo Hotel on Old Spanish Trail, and all other League Facilities.  Furthermore, he will be banned from the facilities owned by any IYDFFL franchise, and he will lose his press pass, and any right or privilege to engage any owner or employee of any franchise of the league, or any league official. Penalties will be announced on the next post, forthwith. Sincerely, Jon Boyd on Behalf of the IYDFFL Ad Hoc Committee for Public Affairs

Penalties announced	commish	9:06 pm thursday july 6, 2000
The IYDFFL Ad Hoc Committee for Public Affairs has announced progressive sanctions against any league member or employee who either aids or abets Sly Sliprock: First offense:  48 Hours in detention with Boy George's Dance Mix broadcast on the load speakers. Second offense: see first offense, but Boy George's friends will be invited. Third offense: see second offense, and you will have to wear lutefisk stuffed underneath a baseball cap. Fourth offense:  see third offense, but you will have to eat your own feces. Fifth offense:  see third offense, then you will have to eat the lutefisk. As you can see, the League is very serious about cracking down against this Sly Sliprock character.  Please, don't get caught. Sincerely, Jon Boyd on Behalf of the IYDFFL Ad Hoc Committee for Public Affairs

re: Penalties announced	Sly Sliprock	9:18 am friday july 7, 2000
:Please....Is there an appeal process???PUUULLLLEEEZ :

Round 7 --&-- 8 assessment	Sly Sliprock	1:49 pm saturday july 8, 2000
The pressure from the establishment has been increasing steadily. It seems they want to silence the Sly one. Freedom of the Press is guaranteed right despite whatever fascist regime the IYDFFL becomes. I have been barred from all the team hdqtrs in the league and the practice facilities. That won't stop Sly from tailing players (off League grounds) and getting some impromptu interviews. We will just see how far Commissioner Jon is willing to goe. Anyway, on to a look at the middle rounds of the IYDFFL draft. I am a little mystified that my readers...(all one of you) did not catch the error in my last report. I reported that Amani Toomer had been selected last in round 6. I was wrong. These sandwich picks are tough to keep track of. I apologize formally. Here is what happened in the 7th and 8th IYDFFL-wise. The Norsemen took Toomer who may be their top rec this year. That ain't saying a whole lot. They finished up with taking Vinny Testaverde returning from injury to the potential ruined Jets. Unless they sign Sean Dawkins or Pickens or SOMEONE, it could be a very long season for Testaverde. Big Pimpin's only pick was Shaun Alexander from the Hawks. Alexander is a year away with Watters still carrying the load. Still, Alexander was not a bad investment for the future, but would he have been there later. The Hail Mary's sandwiched one pick between three they had in these two rounds with a great addition. Cade McNown was by far the best choice for them. Yancey Thigpen is overrated and Rob Moore is (see Thigpen comment. The Storm finally joined the TE parade taking David LaFleuer, who may just get a half dozen td's this year. He took Tony Banks later which could be a sleeper with a Raven team on the rise. The Lords should stay in Parliament and think these through. They had two 7th round picks and take Riemersma (Yawn) and JJ Johnson. Johnson is not and will not be the future of the Dolphin running game...no one will at least in the immediate future. Huntley or Linton would have been a better fit. The Definition went 1 for 2 also. Even though it is early to think in kicker terms, they did take a good one in Conway but Q-missile....There's better choices out there and they did not get it done. The Roughnecks took Rob Johnson who should eventually silence the Doug Flutie fanatics this year. The Hitmen took overrated Rod Smith but then countered with a brilliant pick in the Rocket. How did the texas boys miss him? He is a bonafide 1000 yd and 10 td's this year with the revamped Boys O' I am bored with the Outlaws/Crushers/Cruisers/Bruisers or whatever they are called. Robert Konrad was better selling batteries than in the Dolphin backfield and Cam Cleeland. You want a Saint te take Glover....a better opportunity in the least. The Maulers got a good one in Mathis and I don't mean Johnnie. Mathis should net 7-8 td's with Tim Dwight's emergence. Then they went in the tank taking Fazande. The Padre...oops I mean Charger rushing attack is non-existent and if relied on could possibly put up numbers like the Padres. The Cajuns had no picks in the 7th but had three in the 8th. They did an okay job securing Mare as their kicker. Warrick Dunn may live up to promise with the Bucs but I am dubious of the prospect. Shawn Jefferson will have to fit in the Falcons system and could be an okay #3 guy. Overall they get a c+ for their efforts in these rounds. I want to reiterate that I am a stubborn person. Howie, Jon or no council will deter my reports. You can ban me but I will come back. Like chronic dandruff, I am always in your hair even with the best dandruff treatment. I am there just waiting to expose the truth which is out there,,,man. This is Sly Sliprock reporting.

9th round coverage	Sly Sliprock	10:35 am wednesday july 12, 2000
The 9th round of the IYDFFL featured forfeits and Big Pimpin trading. With this wheeling and dealing, one wonders if interest among some members is waaaannnnniinng. Even so, here is my spin on the happenings. The Norsemen got an extra pick for the suspect trade earlier of Jamal Anderson. They used one to take a rookie named Burress. A lot of pub but one wonders of substance. They countered that with their extra pick by taking Jonathan Linton. Let's see Linton + Biakabutuka does not equal Jam. Anderson. Oh well, better luck next time Norsers. Cajuns featured forfeitures in this round. Choosing not to use the 9.3 and 9.7 picks. I guess Mr. Harper thinks there will be more talent at the end of the draft then now.HEHE The Storm takes Donnell Bennett. I am still not too interested in this round. I know there is not a lot left but the Chiefs running game has been about as exciting as watching Cream of Wheat percolate. The Commish's Whirling ones take Steph Alexander.. who may just find the end zone finally. I like the selection of Jon Kitna. Even though the doomsayers are saying the Hawk O is going down the tubes without Galloway/Dawkins. I don't agree. Definition did not want to be left out so they forfeited too. Big Pimpin comes through with Travis Taylor who does not get the pub of Burress but could be a real sleeper pick if the Ravens wake up that is....Richard Huntley also goes to them. He was the best rb left...not saying a lot...but it was a good pick. Hail Mary reaches for the clouds with Mike Cloud of the Chiefs. See Bennett comment.... The Maulers complete a fine wr foursome with Keenan McCardell. Definite go-to guy for the Jags this year. McCardell along with Mathis, Galloway, and Westbrook form one of the better rec. foursomes in the IYDFFL. This draft has only seven rounds left and many of the teams are shaping up okay. Despite the tease, I feel this league is going in the right direction. A credit to the owners and their ability to read talent this early in the season. This is Sly signing off for now.

10th round assessment	Sly Sliprock	10:35 am friday july 14, 2000
Sly here with no email place to call home. I still can get my reviews out despite the screw-like pressure from the fascist-type...never mind. The commish can try all he wants but the keyboard is mightier than any bannish decree. Here is my spin on the 10th round The Maulers did the logical thing and started off by taking Jeff George. With Brad (looking over my shoulder) Johnson at the Skin helm, George could be THE MAN for the job by mid-season. Dervish followed by taking another Skin. This one a new one for this year. Adrian Murrell trying to resurrect the career and hoping, pleading, begging, Steph Davis to continue to hold out. Ain't going to happen....Ade. Still, Derv's took about the only real quality left in the running b corp. The Hail Mary's take Jake(the mistake) Reed from the Saints. Another guy trying to figure out what went wrong. Reed is hoping for new life in the Superdome. This dome won't help him keep his hands on the ball anymore than the one up in Minny. The Outlaws (aka Crusher) take another under-achiever in David Boston. Boston is young though and may just come through.yawn. I am not going to stay awake at night looking for the highlights on ESPN though. The oft-trade active Pimpin comes through with Darnay Scott in the middle of this round. Not a bad choice. The Picken's may be better for him now that he is gone and Warrick trying to learn the ropes. Scott has a shot. The Cajuns are alive and free from computer problems..at least for this round as they select Chris Chandler. Better hope the Falcon O operates better than the pc lately. Chandler needs Jamal who is still battling tendinitis. Could be a long...actually short season considering his health record for Chandler. The Definition select Curtis Conway. Conway could not breakout in the frenetic Bear passing attack...How in God's green earth is he going to find paydirt in the abysmal Charger pasture? Still, Def took someone who has a chance at 3-5 tds. Better than the Lords chances later in the round... The Lords had two picks in this round and did so-so. First Collins from the Giants isn't an awful pick but there was a Plummer, a King, and whole Batch I would have taken instead. Horn was another curiousity later on. Tim Dwight was there but I won't toot the Horn too much. He may be a real find :) Someone had to do it and the Storm did it. Matching the name indeed. Seb Janikowski found a home in ff world..Too bad because he may not be around in the NFL this year.. The Roughnecks took a small chance by selecting Carl Pickens. I say small because he is most undoubtedly going to become a Hawk or Jet in the next few weeks. It was a good choice because he will be productive with Kitna or Vinny. The Norsemen selected JR Redmond. No snickers now..It wasn't a terrible pick. Redmond may be delayed but the Patriots desperately need him and he may (despite his size) become the main runner for them. As a fourth RB pick, they could have done worse. That is all from the pages of my notes. I will be back with the 11th round analysis later. Until then, so long Sly Sliprock reporting.

11th Round wrapup	Sly Sliprock	8:25 am thursday july 20, 2000
We got a Cajun controversy amidst the hoopla. Cajun cooking sounds much more appealing. Anyway, here is how ol Sly sees the beginning of the end of the IYDFFL draft. We are quickly reaching the point of backup te's, pk's, and yes the dreaded defense picks. Not the most exciting time. At least we have a controversy to keep our minds busy. The 11th round began with the Norsemen taking Roland Williams. He is the lesser known Ram from last year. He is backing up Dudley on the Norsemen roster and may see bye-week only duty. The Lords had two picks in this round and did splendidly. First they take the underrated Tim Dwight and follow up with Jeff Wilkins. They get an A for this effort. The Cajuns saw through their legal troubles and selected Wayne Chrebet. How much he will miss MeShawn Johnson no one knows? Methinks the Jets better get another rec and quick. The Storm picked up Nape Kaufmann. 4th back at best. Pimpin grabs Jason Elam. A steady good kicker who should have more points this year as the Bronco offense starts to find itself. Definition owner Cary Smith just loves rolling the dice and with Tony Martin, he has got the craps roll going. Martin has shaken his bad guy image but will the Dolphins have an offense this year?? The Roughnecks were wondering why Martin Grammatica has been around this long. Answer...He is a kicker. There are 10 of them that will net at least 100 points. There is no need to rush to get them much before this round. The Hitmen are taking a small chance with Curtis Keaton. If Dillon continues the holdout, it could be a sleeper pick. If he signs, it could be a Buster Keaton look-a-like. The Crusher was at a grappler match for this round..I think The Hail Mary's continue to live up to their name taking A-Z Hakim. Hakim is exciting but how often will he get the ball. Still, not a bad pick for a late one. The Maulers are hoping the hype MeShawn Johnson rings true for the entire Buc O as they select Dave Moore to close out the 11th. Hard to say, word is that the Bucs will still be run-first type offense. I think they may open it up a little and have a fine 11-5 season. Sly is done for now. The 12th round is a mess at this point with the Cajuns creating all kinds of trouble. I will be back later with the recap there. Keep the faith, brother. This draft will end eventually. Sly Sliprock signing off.

Round 12 --&-- 13 assessment	Sly Sliprock	9:55 pm friday july 21, 2000
We are definitely heading toward the end. These two rounds saw 16 of the 24 picks go to tight ends, defenses, and kickers. It is that time to start thinking about these I guess. The Maulers took Mario Bates and finished the 13th with Del Greco. Bates is an okay pick. He is probably third on the depth chart though with Del Greco a lock for 115 points. The Whirling ones added red zone tumbler such as Robert Holcombe and TE Marcus Pollard from the Colts. Both can find the end zone but won't be the featured playmakers. Not bad choices at this point in the draft. The Hail Mary's add Jake Plummer who hopefully will start living up to the press clippings but then make a curious pick of the Browns kicker. With Todd Peterson, John Carney, and Steve Christie out there..a curious pick indeed. Crusher takes the indoor kicker Hanson and the Ravens team d. Okay but could have done better.:) The Hitmen had three picks over the three rounds. Jeff Garcia grabbed along with Johnnie Morton. Funny how Morton was still available this late. Robert Chapman the rookie with the Vikes may assume LeRoy Hoard's role. Can he handle it? That will determine whether the Hitmen made a good choice or not. The Roughnecks take Pete Mitchell from the depleted tight end field. David Sloan or Ben Coates would be worth more than Mitchell and they followed that with the Dolphin d. I don't comment on defenses much. There is no way to predict what defenses will do at this point. Definition takes Charlie Batch, and the Eagle D. Batch is battling the same thumb problem that Favre has. Risky but not too at this stage of the draft. Pimpin had only one pick and selected Freddie Jones. Decent big target if only the Charger QB's could find him. It may come together this year. The Storm take Frank Sanders. Just another underacheiving Cardinal wide out. They also select the Lion D. The Cajuns got Byron Chamberlain and could be a find. Chamberlain numbers should look good if Davis is back and healthy for the Broncos. After much jawing, they wind up with the Redskin D. Once again, defenses don't bring much enthusiasm from this reporter. The Lords get the rookie Jet TE Becht. Sounds German and probably has the same gung-ho drive. We will see. They also take the Jag d. The Norsemen select Ryan Longwell. A good kicker hoping to get more opportunities in the re-vamped Packer O. They also bought in to the hype from last year by taking the Rams D. Who knows and who cares..... This is Sly Sliprock signing off.

Phony baloney predictions	Sly Sliprock	10:29 am wednesday august 9, 2000
I have refrained from predictions because of my astute analysis of the draft leaves no reason to predict. I will return during the regular season to give my analysis of a selected matchup each week. I don't want to wear out my welcome. El Guapo and Howie...It is time for you to take a hike. The professional will take over. I am bored with preseason football. Preseason football is where you two belong. Go ahead and assess it. I will reserve comment for when we get down to the nitty gritty.

Rob Moore out for the year?	Sly Sliprock	7:12 am saturday august 19, 2000
The Arizona Cardinals suffered major injuries last night at the Metrodome in Minneapolis. They lost Rob Moore to a knee injury and could possibly be out for the year. He was one of potentially three players out with season ending injuries. Cornerback Coby Rhinehart is also out with torn knee ligaments. JJ McClesky appearts to have a broken ankle. Both Rhinehart and Moore got their feet tangled in the tricky Metrodome turf. It is just one more argument to get rid of the stuff in all stadiums. This has been Sly Sliprock reporting.

sly?	allan	0:35 am friday september 15, 2000
So what the hell happen to sly? Did Jon finally catch him and lock him up in his basement?

re: sly?	jboyd@wt.net	11:02 am friday september 15, 2000
Sly is is now living up to his yellow-livered reputation. He jumped ship so fast I thought there was a pyre of lutefisk.

IYDFFL analysis	Sly Sliprock	8:47 pm saturday september 23, 2000
Now it is time to get down to the plain and simple stats of this league. I have held back commenting until we traversed into the schedule some. Now, I am ready to take a hard look at the contenders and pretenders in the IYDFFL. Points are what matters, Gentlemen. Throw out the chest pumping and bravado. Top scoring teams win on a usual basis. Here are the rankings according to the standings. 1.Definition 214 2.Lords 212 3.Norsemen 181 4.GFR 180 5.Hitmen 157 6.Storm 146 7.Dervishes 145 8.Cajuns 143 9.Hail Marys 141 10.Roughnecks 110 11.Pimpin 107 12.Maulers 106 Throw out the pts against. We don't play defense in this league. The top four point-getters all average over 60 points a game. These are the cream of the crop. I talked with GM Steven Novak concerning this recently and he commented. "It is a simple concept. You need to score and hit on all cylinders in order to have a chance in this league. Bye week survivors go a long way to securing a playoff position." Sly-What are your thoughts concerning the Storm? SN-Obviously, it is a team on the rise but it is nowhere near the higher rungs on the ladder. Definition may be 1-2 but they will survive because they can score. It is just a matter of time till cream rises. Sly-Thank you for your time SN-Anytime, Sly

re: Year in Review (cont)	Sly Sliprock	10:30 am sunday september 24, 2000
:Dhervish (1-2)- After barely escaping the Cajuns this week the   :   Commish heads into the land of guitars this week. With the :   best WR's in the league (Moulds, Bruce, Moss) and maybe any :   league in the nation you'd think he'd have a better record. :   The early pick of Enis and Blake/Kitna not living up to :   expectations has proved fatal for the team. Maybe by trading :   a WR for a couple underachievers might be the Commish's only :   ticket to a winning season but if he sticks with the team it :   could be a long season. : :Hannibal (Definition of moron, Let's take a bunch of animals :   that way a ton into the snowy mountains) Division : :Grand Funk (2-1)- Just 6 points away from being undefeated :   Merlin has worked his magic. This team has changed ownership :   so many times you'd expect them to be 0-3. Makins some trades :   and looking towards the future Merlin, with a little luck, :   has put together a competitive team. Boston and Mike Anderson :   has scored some unexpected points and Brunell being picked in :   the first was laughed at by all but has proven to be a great :   pick. With Mbnabb showing his potential this team has got two :   great QB's If Price can start catching some passes from an :   up and coming QB and the rest of his team can continue on :   their current track this team could be the suprise of the :   year.   : :Definition (1-2)- Warner, Tiki and J. Smith...how can this team :   not be 3-0. Just goes to show you you need a complete team to :   win. 2nd WR has been a merry go round and the 2nd RB is a :   coin toss evey week. Eventually, Tiki has to slow down right? :   Who would of guessed he'd has more yards, td's and a better :   avg than Dayne? Even Foota Balla was suprised. Witht heir :   first ass kicking i.e. win, the Definition proved that they :   are the rightful owners of Green but the Dullnecks refuse to :   back down from their stance that they arethe better team. :   Creating a rivalary usually takes time but Cary managed to do :   so before the season even started...Good Job =) : :Maulers (1-1-1)- Once again I will have to check my sources on :   that tie but the Maulers can't seem to maul their way out of :   a plastic bag. Levens (Gimp), Johnson (Might as well be gimp) :   and Ward and Mcardell having games of there lives in the :   first couple weeks you ahve to think this tea,s scoring :   average will go down and go down quick. Maybe Johnson will :   get benched and George will light it up? But then again who :   is he going to throw to the 30 years of exp. in fryar and :   Reed. Exp = speed I don't think so. Exp = a 40 yard 4.ever. :   But to be fair he did get screwed with Westbrook but that's :   his fault for not consulting Foota Balla. Have you learner :   your lesson? I hope so b/c the magic 8 ball is pointing to :   dim outlook. : :Last and Definetly least the Dullnecks (0-3)- A favorite to win :   it all prior to the season the Dullnecks have had either the :   worse streak of luck ever or just plain out can't draft. Now :   we have to give them some credit they did own Jeffers, Scott :   and Engram in an insurance skam but still even if all three :   of them played there poitns would of won this team any games. :   The lethal combo at RB (Dayne, Stewart,T.D.) has proved to be :   lethal only to the teams owner and the trade for Freeman is :   looking like a bad move. But you have to hand it to them they :   made a great call with R. Johnson. Otherwise the Dullnecks :   need to pray for the stars to do whateveryone thought they :   would prior to the season otherwise this team might end up :   beating out Gimpin for that coveted lowest point total at the :   end of the year. : : : :That's the review. I'lkl be back in a few weeks to give some :more of my infinite knowledge out to yee simple mortals. : : :        Foota Balla Hey Foota Balla...go back to covering chariot races.

Cajun Col Sanders interview	Sly Sliprock	5:06 pm saturday october 21, 2000
Deep in the heart of Cajun country your Sly one is.. I have infiltrated the Cajun camp to see if I can get an interview with one of the coaches. I have been able to get in contact with Colin Sanders, the interior line coach with the Cajuns Sly: How do? Sanders:Just fine...interest you in an aligator meat sandwich? I look at the charcoal black piece of withered meat in between two Wonder bread slices and ahem....decline. Sly:not at this time. Sanders: your loss, son. Sly: Tell me what has been the secret to the Cajuns success this year. Sanders: It's simple. We come to play every game. Most of these IYDFFLers have not been taking us seriously. We just go out and stomp'em. Sly:It seems the owner(Chris Harper) was crying at the beginning of the season that he had no talent and now is dancing on the sidelines with that umbrella overhead. Sanders: Well,Sir. I can't answer for him. All I know is that we have been kickin serious butt lately and I don't see how it will change with those Northern Yankees this weekend. Sly: The running game appears to be the main strength. Do you concur? Sanders: Shoot!!! That running games goes nowhere if my boys don't plow the opening. Still, we got some talent there if that owner will leave it be. Sly: you don't agree with wheeling and dealing. Sanders: Once again, that is his business. All I know is that you need some stability and if you make player moves all the time, there ain't no way for a team to gain momentum..sure you don't want a bite..man it is good and spicy today. Sly: no thanks..Do you care to make a prediction about this week's game? Sanders: yeah, them yankee Norsemen better just beware cauz the Cajuns are in the franchizing mood. Sly: Thank you, Colin for your comments. Sanders: no problem. I barely made it out of that training facility alive. They are fixed up with the latest equipment and really good personnel coaching and playing. I don't think much of their food but to each his own...I guess. This has been Sly Sliprock reporting.

The way it will be	Sly Sliprock	9:57 am sunday november 12, 2000
Alright youse guys. Here is how the IYDFFL will pan out over the last three games. Remember, you heard it here first. Don't listen to that Howie character. He was the one who said Jamal Anderson was going to have a great season...remember? I look at the Alexander division with the big story of the Cajuns(who coincidentedly have the biggest mouthed owner too) They got to take care of their division with three div foes in a row. The Storm will cause them trouble but they could get by the hail, mary  mother....you know the way it goes. I see them going 2-1 and finishing 9-4. Not bad for the bad cooking Cajuns. The Storm face the same foes and will goe 1-2 to finish 7-6 Those Hitmen will finish 2-1 and tie the Storm at 7-6. The Hail Mary's will finish 4-9. The Caesar which is arguably the best division in this here league is currently led by the Norsemen but stay tuned. The Norsemen will lose at least two of their last three games and finish 8-5. The Lords look to take the division as they will win 2 of 3 and goe 9-4. The Dervishes will thwart those plans by going 3-0 and tie them at 9-4. Big Pimpin is playing for next year and finishes 0-3 and ends it all at 4-9. The Hannibal is mismesh of different mediocrity. Currently the Definition holds the lead at 5-5. They should handle their division in the end and go 3-0 and win it outright 8-5. The Maulers will finish going 1-2 and end the season at 5-8. The Roughnecks are the up and comers and will go 2-1 to finish 5-8 and GFR will not be able to win a game the rest of the way and finish 3-10 The playoffs will be looked at later. For now, goodbye guys. this has been Sly Sliprock reporting.