The Second Wife

I am not the only one you ever thought you'd spend the rest of your life with
I am not the mother of your child

I happened to be around
When times were rough
And there was no one else
I will never even bear a child for you

You have settled in your life
Everything you have worked for since I've known you was done
Ultimately for the benefit of your child and yourself
Your child is your primary reason for being

But since he's growing you look to me now, as an equally good reason for being
Although he still has to come first

You claim it wasn't real
Two kids, having a kid, the cheapest way to preserve your rights
You say it would never have worked
Even though you clearly still get along

Of course. You have to. You have a child together.
You didn't want to be far from him so I came to you.

I waived cheerfully to family, friends, coworkers
with promises I'd come back to see them soon
I left the city I've known all my life
theatres, stores, traffic, people
To live in a town the size of my old neighborhood
I left a job and opportunities that made me feel wonderfully alive
and now I have a job for life

I don't entertain thoughts of being all I can be
No lifelong goal or dream to chase

You have a career
Your ex-wife has a career
You chose what you wanted to do and did what needed to be done to get you where you are
Congratulations. Good for you.

I chose what I wanted.
But I don't think I was specific enough.

I wanted you, but not you alone
I miss my friends and brother sometimes
late at night when I want someone familial to talk to
I wanted to adopt, but I know you don't want to raise someone else's child
I wanted a nice house, but not an empty one
where the kitchen appliances are never used
and the dining room table is never set
I wanted to get married, but not to be a second wife

There is magic to experience but you're jaded enough to see through it
There is always a comparison to be made
How everything is so much better this way
And jokes about the ex

Your protestations are futile, I hear you disagree
"It's not like that at all"

For you everything really is all sunshine and rainbows
You have everything you wanted: a quiet life a son a career path
You are doing what you love
You have everything you need close to you

I have a house I've lived in for what seems like a hundred years
A cubicle I inherited from the one they fired
I have no claim on any offspring
My sole claim out here is my name

Which I will change when I become
Your second wife