My_Story_Part

March 13, 2004
Wow, it's been a looong time since I journaled here. sigh.....wow, i've come a long way! i'm down 115 as of yesterday! FINALLY! i was fighting with 7 lbs. as of yesterday i am 235, which is only like 60 lbs from my "mini goal" of 180ish. i feel SO much better and i'm making so many new friends. i started working part time at bath & body works back in november. it was the day before thanksgiving that i started. i love it there. you get free stuff from time to time, AND you get to take home samples of testered stuff to see if you like it. Good thing I did...I found out i was allergic to a couple things. oh well. it's extra cash, and it gets me outta the house too. i'm doing pretty well on register, and i can be on my feet for a 3-4 hour shift without the pain. i could NEVER have done this at 350! what a difference a year makes, eh? and then Lisa is hooking me up with Park Lane Jewelry as a part time job, which could turn into a nice full time thing when Mike & I have kids some day. i just had my first party today. it went SO well! i appreciate all who came & bought stuff & booked parties. those will be my practice shows. i'm nervous, but LIsa will be with me. I have training on tuesday, and then shortly thereafter i will get my starter kit. this is in addition to the pt job @ bbw AND my full time job. keeping busy keeps me away from food. i would never have wanted to go to people's houses & sell stuff at 350! now i feel like my new life it just starting, and i'm not even 11 months post op yet.
We're going to Boston a week from Wednesday. We're going to the WLS convention out there. can't WAIT! i've never been to boston. it's gonna be awesome!!!!!! can't wait to see the people we met at the chicago WLS weekend and meet more new people.
i can't believe how much life has changed for me since a year ago. i mean.....a year ago, i was waiting for surgery, and now....i'm waiting to get below 200 lbs.
i'm still a food addict...that will never change. i love food...food makes me happy. may as well be honest, right?
i try to make good choices, but i find myself snacking a helluva lot more than a few months ago. i get cocky & i pay for it. just when i think i don't dump anymore, i eat dessert too close to dinner or i have too much sugar or i eat too fast and my body says, "hey stupid...your stomach is only a fraction of what it was.....what are you doing to yourself?" food addiction is just like any other addiction.....only with food, you don't have to get it from a dealer...you can just go up to the store & buy it. it's just so hard! i was at my sisters house until late last night, cuz i was dumping, and didn't want to get behind the wheel of my car until i felt better, and we talked...i told her it's not easy...that i am STILL a food addict, and i wish they would have done surgery on my brain as well as my body. she's very heavy.....probably 360+ if i had to guess. i worry about her. i don't want my nephew to grow up without his mom. i don't wanna know what life is like without my sister. even tho she can be nasty sometimes, she IS my sister & i love her.
she said that she & kev are going on Meridia. sigh........i wish i could tell her not to do it. once she goes off it, the weight will come right back on. i hate to sound rude about it, but it's just like every other failed diet she and i have done in the past.
but, she is against the surgery & has to work thru her stuff herself.
maybe one day she will see that gastric bypass can help her not only LOSE the weight, but keep it off. i think she would do really well with WLS.
my dad needs to learn not to try & offer me carbonated water.....lol. i tell him EVERY TIME that carbonation hurts my pouch. now coming from a recovering diet coke addict......that is really saying something.
i won't drink pop. i had a bacardi silver one time, and there was a small amt of carbonation in it, and i was almost doubled OVER in pain from it. i can't even fathom what the pain would be like if it were pop. so i drink more ice water. and that's.....ok.
til later.........goodnight all.