A New Element Called Woman
A new element has to be added in the Periodic Table which is recommended by my
experienced friend.
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer:
Adam
Atomic mass:
Accepted as 53.6 kg; isotopes: vary from 35 - 200 kg.
Occurrence:
Copious quantities in all urban areas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with thin painted film.
2. Boils at room Temperature.
3. Freezes without any known reason.
4. Melts if given special treatment.
5. Bitter if incorrectly used.
6. Sweeter under certain conditions.
7. Found in various states, ranging from metals to common ore.
8. Ductile if moulded properly.
9. Yields to pressure applied at correct points.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Have great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones and
absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in
alcohol.
4. Most powerful money non-reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in bikes and cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.
TESTS:
1.
Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
AVAILABLITY:
1. Available in widely different forms and varieties.
2. Can be easily seen in all busy areas.
POTENTIAL HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at
different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with
each other.
WARNING!!!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HAEMORRHAGE AND
MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS.
NOTE: New
properties are still being discovered. Please wait for updates. If you have
found some properties not listed above, please suggest.
For counsel and contact:
modest_imp@hotmail.com,modest_imp@yahoo.com