ANTONIA'S JOURNAL

By Eliza
elizawpg@shaw.ca

Rating:  NC17 - graphic sex (m/m), reference to violence (rape)
Category/Pairing: Backstory (to my Empress AU)  Luis Montoya/Juan Reyes
Disclaimers: The character of Luis Montoya was originated and is owned by Fireworks Entertainment.  The rest of the characters and situations in this story are copyrighted by me.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to brig and Jo for their comments and support. And a bouquet of pink roses to Li, for her sharp eye.
Summary: Excerpts from the journal of Antonia Galvez de Reyes during her stay at her father's estate in 1802.  They follow the relationship that develops between herself, her husband, Juan, and her father's young captain, Luis Montoya.

Antonia Galvez de Reyez  -  Journal:  August 1800 to February 1808

April 12, 1802

Home!  I am so glad I will not have to spend any more time in Avila for a while.  Everything is pleasant enough, but Juan chafes so at the hold his family keeps over him.  He will enjoy the relative freedom of the next year.  I hope he will find something to keep himself occupied, something that will not end badly for a change.

Papa has a new captain, Luis Montoya, of whom he is rather proud.  Young for the position, but Papa has hopes to mould him in his own image.  I am not sure how well he will succeed; this one seems to have strong ideas of his own.  He was well born but has embraced the role of soldier - always in uniform, rough cut hair, a very direct gaze, overall a lack of subtlety in his speech and manner.  He seems to have a quick mind but little interest in gentler pursuits.  I will have to ask Papa more about him -- so my thoughts can stop turning to him.
 

"Hold." Captain Luis Montoya disengaged from his sparing as he saw a figure approaching from the direction of the house.  He instructed another soldier to continue with his former opponent and went to greet the new arrival.  Juan Sanchez Reyes was the general's son-in-law and Luis had offered him the run of the training ground as a polite gesture.  He hadn't really expected the nobleman to join the common soldiers.

"Senor Reyes. If you had warned me that you wished to practice today, I would have insured that you had a suitable opponent. The master-at-arms is not here." It took more skill to avoid wounding an opponent, in a true test of skill, than it did to score a hit.  Only a highly skilled opponent would do for a nobleman.

"I have no problem practicing with the men."  Reyes removed his coat and drew his rapier. "I am not worried about a few scratches and a bit of blood."

Luis was certain Reyes assumed that any blood would be from his opponent.  He was above in average height and breadth, and he had the hard look of a man who took his physical strength seriously.  Still, Luis was confident enough in his own abilities to know that he could match the gentleman in a spar, even with Reyes' superior reach.  He didn't even consider the rest of his men; this was a gentleman's arena, where honor was tested with steel.  It was that thought that prompted Luis' next suggestion.

"That may be the case, Senor, but I am reluctant to risk a member of my commander's family."  Luis could see Reyes bristle at the implication, yet, for some reason, he forged ahead with his suggestion. "Why don't we start with something a little less dangerous?" He turned his head slightly toward his sergeant but kept his eyes on Reyes'.  "Carlos, bring me a couple of staves."

Luis waited for the indignant assertion that Reyes was above using a peasant weapon.  He continued to meet the dark eyes as Reyes' annoyance faded at the recognition of the challenge.  Most noblemen had little skill with the staff, yet this man's height and strength would probably give him the advantage.  And a staff was not as innocuous a weapon as it appeared, in the right hands it could maim and kill.

"You may be right, Capitan.  I would hate to see anyone injured because of a misjudgement in skill." The insincerity of the words was enough of a warning to ensure that Luis himself would act as Reyes' opponent rather than risk one of his men.

Luis had judged correctly.  Reyes began the bout by putting all his strength into simple blows.  There was little skill and no style behind the attempted battering, so Luis managed to block each strike and even sneak in a number of sharp raps to Reyes' knuckles.  After a particularly sharp blow started the hand bleeding, Reyes took a step back to call a brief respite in the battle.  As the man shook the pain out of his hand, Luis was aware that he was being studied.  He hoped he didn't look as tired as he felt.  None of the blows had landed, but blocking them was difficult work and his arms were already fatigued from sparing with his men.

When he rejoined the contest, Reyes was more careful in placing his blows and was forced to block some as well.  To Luis, however, it seemed that sequences were coming faster and with almost as much force, or maybe he was just getting tired; either way he knew that if he didn't end this soon he was likely to end up bruised and bloodied. He didn't dare return the favour to his commander's kin.

In a swift move, Luis deflected one of Reyes' obvious swings and reversed his grip to sweep Reyes' feet out from under him.  Luis savored the sight of the nobleman sprawled in the grass, for he knew the moment would be brief.  Men like this didn't react well to any sign of superior skill in a man of inferior station.  Luis waited apprehensively for the explosion he was sure would come.  His anxiety grew as Reyes just held his gaze.  Then the dark eyes moved down Luis' body and a small smile began on Reyes' lips.

"Papa!"

Luis turned to see a small figure in a dark blue dress running across the lawn to their battle ground.  Reyes rose to his feet, and as the little girl reached his arms, he swung her high above his head.  The sun blazed brilliant gold off her hair and she wore a smile that barely fit on her face -  until he brought her in close for a hug.

"Let go, Papa.  You're hot." She squirmed to get down, but once on her feet she adopted the pose of an elegant, indignant lady and addressed Luis. "You knocked my Papa down."

"That was the point of the exercise," responded the captain.

"It wasn't very nice," insisted the young lady.

Luis couldn't believe he was being scolded by a three-year-old child.  The fact that Reyes was barely containing his laughter didn't help matters. "Go back to your nurse, child.  Stay out of adult business," he said.

"That was very rude!  Papa, why are you letting him be rude to me?!" Katerina Juanita Reyes Galvez was on the verge of a full-blown snit.

"Because, mija, he is right.  You should be with your nurse or your Mama.  But that is no excuse for rudeness."  Reyes sent a look to Luis that clearly told him what must be done.  The captain was incensed; he would not condescend to a child.  Reyes, however, was becoming insistent during their silent communication.

Luis acquiesced to his commander's son-in-law and said, in his most courtly manner, "Please accept my apology for my lack of tact, Senorita Katerina.  I meant no insult to you."

"I should hope not," said Katerina.  She gave her father a pretty curtsey, pointedly ignored Luis, then returned to the other end of the lawn.

Reyes exploded into laughter and pounded Luis on the back.  "It will take a better man than you or I to best that one, Capitan.  It's a real shame she wasn't born a boy."

I managed to find Papa alone this morning and asked him about Luis.  He told me that Senora Torres, who is married to Mama's cousin Octavio, came to him for advice about her nephew, who was being expelled from academy after academy.  His father had washed his hands of him, and his mother, the Senora's sister, was at a loss as to what to do.  Papa suggested the army and helped him obtain a commission.  It seems that Luis took to the life immediately.   There was great fondness in Papa's voice, as he said, "Luis has come a long way in the past four years, which is why I stole him from the regular lists for my guard."

I can see that the son of a common bureaucrat would have difficulty enduring the disdain of the other sons of better connected noblemen.  At that age, his mother's wealth and minor title could not compensate for that incident of birth.  Could that be why he has abandoned all the trappings of his station and education?  Papa said that Luis was not removed from school because of his studies but because of his behavior.  He always seemed to break the nose of the most influential son in the institution.  When I heard some of the names, I couldn't say I blamed him.

"I am not going to be followed around by a watchdog or a nursemaid!"

"It is reasonable that there be an escort with you.  It is a common practice for a gentleman to be accompanied by a servant when out riding."  General Galvez was calm at the moment but Antonia could see that her father was not going to back down from this condition of Juan's touring of the estate.

Juan was not about to yield either. "But you are not sending a servant with me; you want to send a soldier, like I'm some kind of prisoner.  I am far above the company of a common soldier."

Juan, you are such an ass! Antonia was losing patience with this discussion and decided to go against her better judgement and interfere.  "What about Capitan Montoya?  You have been spending quite a bit of time with him.  Isn't he beneath your notice, too?"

Her husband caught her eyes in a harsh stare and it took all her courage not to back down.  If she was wrong about this, Juan would make her pay for her insolence, but she was rarely wrong when it came to Juan Sanchez.   His mouth quirked into a small smirk, and Antonia knew she had won another round.

"I am so fortunate to have such an insightful wife.  There is the answer to our dilemma, General.  Let me have Capitan Montoya as my escort, and you will not hear another word of defiance out of me."

Antonia almost snorted at that thought; no defiance from Juan was like no salt from the sea.  He had agreed far too easily, though; it made her wary.

The general's hostility to the idea radiated through the room as he said, "Capitan Montoya is in charge of the guard.  He doesn't have the time to play groom to you."

"Papa, the capitan has done an excellent job in training the guard.  I am sure his tenientes can manage without him for the occasional afternoon.  If any problems develop, we can deal with them then." Antonia had her back to Juan, so she allowed all her emotions to show on her face as she pleaded with her father - her love for him, her confidence in her opinion, and a little fear.

The general cupped his daughter's chin in his hand and reluctantly gave his consent.

Juan has suggested that Luis be released from his duties for a few days  in order to accompany him to a hunt on an estate near Aranjuez.  Father was not pleased. Luis has kept Juan out of trouble for the past couple of months, so I again supported the suggestion.  Whether he can control Juan outside the confines of this estate will be a real test of the young captain.

My admiration for him is growing daily. He doesn't allow Juan to bully him, yet he manages to avoid provoking an outburst.  I know how difficult it is to achieve that balance.  I received more than a few bruises before I finally recognized all of the warning signs.  Luis seems to know instinctively when Juan is making a suggestion and when he is giving an order.  Sometimes I don't think  even Juan knows -- until someone defies him.

Luis also seems to have an excellent grasp of chess, at least from what I have seen from his few games with Juan. Juan, however, is not a worthy opponent; he has little patience for strategy.

It was a perfect day.  The grass under him was soft, but dry.  The tree at his back provided ample shade.  The day was warm enough to make the shade welcome, but not so hot as to be uncomfortable.  The only sound was the babble of a small brook somewhere out of sight and the occasional serenade of a song bird, but even most of the birds seemed to be indulging in a siesta.

"Are you sorry that we didn't go?" asked Juan as he took his seat again, sharing the trunk as a back rest with Luis.  He passed Luis the bottle of wine he had just retrieved from his saddle bag.

The captain took a drink before answering, "Sorry that I didn't have to spend the day ignoring the insults of men with less ability and intelligence than I, just because they have more money and a grander title?  Yes, Juan -  I'm crushed." The overt sarcasm brought a low chuckle from Juan.

Luis would never have considered speaking this way in the company of most noblemen.  Juan, however,  had been dealing with him as an equal for the past month, so Luis took the risk of talking to this man as a friend.  The second bottle of wine was assisting in the release of his impulses as well. "What if your wife finds out we didn't go?" asked Luis.

"God's teeth!  I'm not some henpecked eunuch," insisted Juan.

Maybe not, but Luis had seen Antoina at work.  He had been amazed at the combination of logic, courage, and manipulation she had used to persuade Juan to change his course. Earlier in the month,  Juan had been set on taking the children to Madrid to see his brother. Tomas Reyes had just been appointed bishop, and Juan had been inspired to have his offspring blessed by this well-connected servant of God.  Antonia disapproved, likely because she would be unable to supervise the venture, and Luis was sure that the lady knew her husband well enough to question his motives.  She convinced him not only that taking the children would be a bad idea, but also that a visit to Madrid was not really what he wanted. Luis had been spellbound by the whole event and more than a little impressed by Senora Reyes.

With the lady in mind, Luis grinned widely. "If you were, you would be a cuckold as well, considering her steadily rounding form."

Juan took a long drink from the bottle before commenting, "I wouldn't have to worry that you might be the contributing party, would I, Luis?"

That taunt was far too close to some of those that had been thrown at him for much of his life.  The wine aiding his temper, Luis dove at Juan, intent on beating the smirk off his face.

Juan seemed to be prepared for the attack for instead of retreating he pulled Luis closer.  Then he rolled, pinning the smaller man to the ground.  With Luis immobile, though seething, Juan explained calmly, "All I meant was . . . "

"I know what you meant," Luis spat.  The level of truth in the statement was irrelevant, the intent to insult was all Luis heard.

"What I meant was that with all of your superior . . .  what was it?. . . ability and intelligence, you would not need to steal other men's wives."

Luis relaxed. He was even becoming a little ashamed of his outburst.  Juan had treated him as a friend and was continuing to do so, even to the point of teasing him with his own words.

Juan must have noticed the change, for he elaborated, "With all that ability, intelligence, and beauty, you can easily have the husband."  Before Luis could register the words, his lips were caught in a passionate kiss.

This was not the first time Luis had been kissed by a man -- he had shared a few tentative ones with the master-at-arms' son at his last academy.  Nor was it the first time he had been kissed with such hunger -- although the whore's enthusiasm was usually for the gold in his pocket.  It was, however, the first time he had experienced the two combined, and that he had been the focus of the hunger.  What eventually prompted the end of this dizzying kiss was Luis shaking his head in confusion as Juan's words finally sunk into his sluggish brain.  "I didn't say 'beauty'," he protested against Juan's lips.

"You should have," said Juan as he shifted onto his side.  He rested on one elbow and kept one thigh possessively between Luis'.  With his free hand, he lightly brushed his fingers over Luis' face before sliding them around the back of his neck to turn him, to guide him closer.  Luis could easily have pulled away -  if he had thought of it.  It never entered his mind not to kiss Juan again.

He had thought about doing this more than he cared to admit. Juan's face was handsome in general, but it was the generous mouth that kept it from being too severe.  It was that mouth that Luis had wondered about, idly speculating on whether it was as soft as it looked or as hard as the rest of the man.  He had noticed that too, during the time he had spent with Juan on the training field and during their rides on the estate.  There was a real strength behind the size, which was not always the case with men who had more opportunity to play than to work.  Luis had vowed that he was not going to act on his attraction to Juan, but that promise to himself was rapidly becoming moot.

This time the kiss started slow and very soft.   Luis found his lips parting because that was what they were supposed to do, it was like following the lead in a dance... or a spar. Juan was pressing his advantage.  He was searching out every weakness, trying to find every spot that would make Luis catch his breath or moan. Every motion of Juan's lips opened Luis' jaw a little wider. Every involuntary reaction sent Juan a little deeper.  He stroked his tongue against the inside of Luis' cheek. The light tickle prompting a brief bout of stab and parry.  He coaxed Luis' tongue into his own mouth then caught it lightly between his teeth.  Before letting go, he created a suction that made Luis squirm.

Juan released his hold on Luis' neck, but the relief of the pressure didn't prompt Luis to retreat.  He leaned closer to launch an attack himself -- to take Juan's bottom lip between his teeth, to stroke his tongue along the ridged hard pallet, to immerse himself in the pleasure that was moving in waves through his body.  This was not the pliant, yielding mouth he was used to; Juan was taking as much as he was giving, demanding as much as he was coaxing. He was sending Luis into a state where he wasn't sure if he was stealing the pleasure or if he was just a vessel for it.

Luis had thought of himself as just indulging in a little diversion until Juan's fingers brushed over his rigid cock.  All his voluntary actions ceased momentarily in reaction to the intense sensation.  "Enough! Stop!" Luis gasped and pushed away to fall on his back in the grass desperately trying to regain control.

Juan ran his hand down Luis' erection again, this time with more pressure. "Why stop?  You're enjoying this."

"It's the wine. Only the wine." Luis was reaching for any excuse.  He was feeling the wine, but he was nowhere near the state he had been in during the drunken gropes he had experienced during his youth.  The few sober kisses had not disturbed him at all like this.  With Juan he had the feeling of falling yet the certainty that he wasn't going to hit the ground.

"Not for me.  I have been drunk on you from the first time I saw you.  That is why it was so easy for you to knock me on my ass with that little stick."

Luis looked out from under the arm he had thrown over his eyes and said skeptically, "I knocked you on your ass because you have no skill with a staff, Juan."

"Oh, I know how to handle a staff.  Let me show you."  Juan set his fingers to work on the buttons of Luis' trousers while a lecherous grin filled his face.

Luis just lay back chuckling; he was too ambivalent and lethargic to start an argument.  He has handed Juan that opening on a platter and was prepared to take the consequences for his poor choice of words.  In any case, there wasn't all that much difference between one hand and another.

The problem was that Juan didn't just use his hand, he used his whole body.  The sensual lips began an insidious inundation of Luis' senses as they moved along his jaw and down his throat.  Luis tried to push them away, feeling safer concentrating on one pleasure at a time, but his hand was captured in a slightly larger one.  Even that was added to the assault, for Juan's thumb lightly stroked his calloused palm.

Surprisingly, the feeling that Luis found most arousing was the press of Juan's erection on his hip.  Juan was moving in syncopated rhythm to his slow, firm strokes along Luis' penis.  The shallow rocking and deliberate caresses created a continuous tide of sensation.  When Juan began to kiss him again, Luis found he could no longer remain passive.  He started to move; not just with the thrust of his cock into Juan's fist, but also the flex of his thigh against Juan's crotch.  It was Juan's strangled moan, produced as a result of that motion, which sent Luis crashing over the edge.

Juan rolled onto his back and casually wiped his hand in the grass as he pulled Luis against him, almost on top of him.  Juan's eyes were dark and half lidded, his lips flushed and swollen.  Even with the languor of his own release still weighing him down, Luis found himself wanting to elicit another moan from between those lips.  Then they moved, and the words that came from them sent a surge of panic through him, for they practically mirrored his own thoughts.  "A gentleman would return the favour."

"If you're looking for a gentleman, you've picked the wrong person," said Luis, again searching for any excuse to deny what he wanted to do.

"I don't think so," replied Juan, as he guided Luis' lips down to his own and Luis' hand to his now unbuttoned trousers.

This incessant heat!  And I'm starting to feel like an overripe melon.  I am also getting disapproving looks about being out in public.  Time to begin my confinement.  Not that I mind; staying in my room in only my dressing gown sounds appealing at the moment.

Juan has started to avoid me.  I would have thought he might at least have acknowledged our wedding anniversary last week, but he found an excuse to be elsewhere.  I should have expected this.  He never mentions an unborn child, and he starts to stay away when my belly becomes impossible to ignore. It's almost as if he refuses to believe in the babe until he sees it.  Sometimes I just don't understand him.  But then he doesn't have a little person rolling around inside him.  Dios mio! The child is an acrobat.

Today I had an interesting encounter.  I found Luis in Papa's study browsing through the bookshelves.  I knew there was no problem with his being there, Papa encourages every opportunity Luis takes to improve himself.  What I found surprising was his affinity for literature and his willingness to talk to me about it.  He was courteous, charming, and open -- quite willing to listen to my opinions.  Very few men would bother discussing anything that is important to them with a woman.

Antonia found herself frozen in the doorway to her father's study watching the man within it.  Because of  the summer heat, Luis had removed the coat to his uniform, and his undershirt clung to his damp skin.  She admired the ripple of his back as he replaced a book on the shelf and she could see the strain of his shoulders as he reached to a higher one to take down a large tome.  He noted quickly that it was not the one he sought and stepped up on the ladder to reach the top shelf.  The stretch of his trousers as he took that step almost made Antonia groan aloud.  She covered the impulse with a polite cough as she entered the room.

Luis jumped down from the ladder. "Dona.  I apologize for my appearance." He reached for his jacket.

Antonia seized it first and moved it out of his grasp. "You forget;  I too am not fit for public viewing.  If you will overlook my inappropriate state, I will overlook yours.  Even the sheep should be able to remove their wool in this heat, Capitan."  She was pleased to see that her little joke eased some of the tension between them. "Is there a certain volume you are looking for?  I know these shelves well.  It would save your checking every cover."

Luis seemed uncertain about how to proceed; this situation was most unseemly. He made a decision quickly, though, and took a deep breath.  "I have been reading about Roman tactics and remember the General mentioning a play about Julius Caesar.  It was by an English playwright, I think - Shakespeare?"

Antonia nodded. "Yes, although the maneuvers in that play are more political than military.  He has also written one relating a story of Marc Antony and Cleopatra.  What may interest you more are his histories - plays based on the lives of English monarchs.  They are full of glorious battles."

The smile Luis gave her turned her bones to water. "I believe you are mocking me, Dona."

"Just a little, Capitan." She returned his smile but had to pull her eyes away to keep herself from being lost in the clear blue ones.  She had an urge to brush out of his eyes the stray locks that always seemed to be falling across his brow.  Her gaze then rested on his shirt and the buttons open at the neck and down his chest where a few fine hairs could be seen at the base of the parted fabric.  I wonder if they are as soft as they look? Oh Tonia, you have to stop thinking of him that way.

Shaking off these dangerous thoughts, Antonia moved to the sitting area near the hearth.  "You will not find that book on the shelves.  I was reading it last night."  She picked up a sizeable book from a chair in the corner.

"You're not sleeping well?" Luis asked, glancing at her very round belly.

Antonia was touched by the evident concern.  "Not for the reason that you think." He blushed faintly, and it took all of her determination not to kiss him -  he looked so adorable.  She managed to continue calmly. "The heat is the problem.  And last night I picked a tale full of ghosts and witches and blood."

"Not restful reading, but it sounds interesting.  Which play was it?"

"'Macbeth'.  It is a tale of overreaching ambition and what the consequences may be of being goaded by equally ambitious advisors," said Antonia as she presented the volume.

Luis took the book from her hand.  He looked onto her eyes, seeming to take the true meaning behind the comment.  "You think this a lesson I need to learn?"

"I pray not, Capitan.  I pray not."

One more month.  It can't be that long!  I don't remember being so restless with Katerina and Matias, but now I can't wait for it to be over.

I met Luis in the garden today.  I shouldn't have been out but I just couldn't stay inside any longer.  He was very gracious in offering to walk with me and was a pleasure to talk to.  I think there is something bothering him; something he wanted to ask me.  If I had to guess, it would be about Juan.  They are spending a considerable amount of time together; Juan seems to have adopted him as a companion rather than simply an escort.

I worry for Luis.  I would hate to think of him tangled up in one of Juan's "adventures".  I tried to warn him of the dangers of listening to Juan's persuasive plans, but maybe I was too subtle.  He seemed to take my meaning at the time.  He also seemed to take me seriously today.  He was wonderful today, charming and attentive, yet there was something in his eyes -- a feral glint that made my heart race.  Was that always there, or is it Juan's influence again?
 

Antonia walked slowly through the garden.  Her gait was not as sure as it had been a few months earlier.  Luis would still call it graceful, but then, to him, Dona Antonia could never be anything less then beautiful.  Her warm brown hair shone like silk.  Her skin was the colour of the roses in the garden -- pale cream with a faint blush.  Luis was sure it would be as soft as those petals as well, but he knew he would never find out. She had spoken to him, even teased him a little.  She was intelligent and insightful, courageous and gracious -- and married.  Married to man who didn't deserve her any more than he did.  To watch her at a distance would have to be enough. Yet, when Luis saw her pause and put her hands to her back, as if in pain, he could not help himself. "Can I be of assistance, Dona?"

She turned, and the smile that she gave him took his breath away. "Capitan. What a pleasant surprise. I am going to take a seat; I hope you will join me?  Your help will be appreciated when I have to get back up again."

She took his arm and let him lead her to the nearby bench but waved off any further assistance as she lowered herself to the seat, supporting herself instead on its back and arm.  "Capitan, please -- sit."

Luis could not refuse. He knew, however, that he would likely end up dumb with rapture, staring at the lovely lady, unless he quickly found a topic for conversation.  He revived the subject that had passed easily between them before.  "I thank you again for finding the copy of Shakespeare's plays for me.  I've been enjoying them."

"Enough battle and glory for you, Capitan?"

"More than enough, Dona." He couldn't help but smile back at the teasing light in her eyes.  "I found 'Julius Caesar' very intriguing. 'Macbeth' as well."

"You have read them both already?"

The shock in Antonia's voice pricked at his pride; it's not as if he had to follow the words with his finger. He tried to keep the sting out of his reply.  "I've read them all, Dona," he said evenly.

"Then you must keep the book."  She must have seen the surprise and refusal forming on his face, for she immediately added, "Do not argue. It is my book to give.  I have a copy of the works in English, so you will not be denying me one of my favourite authors.  My father borrowed this edition and never returned it.  If he wants to keep a copy of Shakespeare in his library, he can find his own. He certainly hasn't read all the plays. Would you like me to inscribe it to you so that there will be no disagreements?"

The slight bruise to his ego was eliminated by the real admiration in her tone.  That was worth far more to him then the volume she had bestowed. "I'm sure that won't be necessary.  I don't know how to thank you for such a generous gift."

"You can help me to my feet.  Sometimes sitting is more uncomfortable than standing," she said, with a faint blush rising to her cheek.

She instructed him how to assist her.  With his shoulder bracing one of her hands and his hand supporting her back, she rose in an awkward  motion, leading with her belly.  As she steadied herself on her feet, she grinned at Luis. "You now see why ladies hide during this time.  We are not the most attractive of creatures."

The scent of her was causing his head to swim.  Luis was barely able to restrain himself from falling to his knees before her - from proclaiming that nothing in the universe was as breathtaking as Dona Antonia.  Instead, he managed to return her grin and offered to accompany her on her stroll.  She accepted his arm, and they began to wander down the complex paths of the formal garden.

The conversation was lively and interesting.  Antonia was widely read, for a lady, and after recovering from her initial surprise over his level of knowledge, she began to speak to him as if he was any other properly raised gentleman.  The topics ranged from literature to history, to a little bit of society gossip.  Luis was overjoyed when the topic turned to the garden itself, for Antonia became very animated, lecturing him on the flowers they were passing - particularly the roses.  She also blushed very prettily when she realized what she was doing, and squeezed his arm by way of an apology, before turning the conversation to a more general topic and the two of them back toward the house.

By the time they had returned to the bench near the cream-blush roses, Luis had almost convinced himself that he could risk a sign, a token of his feelings.  He had no illusions about his station or her status.  All that he could hope for was that some small portion of his affection for her would be returned.  The smile that she bestowed on him as she admired a perfect bloom decided the issue.  He took his knife and cut the flower, then stripped away the thorns from the stem.

"A rose by any other name..." He held the petals to her cheek. "I was right. It is a perfect match."  He found himself falling into the warm, dove-grey eyes, but she suddenly turned her back to him.  He knew then that he had gone too far -- that he had made an irreparable mistake.

Luis placed the flower gently on the bench, fully expecting it to shatter as his heart just had. "I will leave you in possession of the garden, Dona," he said with a parting bow.

When he looked up, she had turned to again face him, her expression serene. "It has been a pleasure talking with you, Capitan."  He knew that it was only politeness.

I feel as if I have been a prisoner for months.  In a way I have, to Cristian - but it is the restrictions I have been under since his birth three weeks ago at which I am straining. I can't play the invalid anymore.  I'm bored, and lonely.  I usually have to beat Juan off with a stick to keep him at a distance for another few weeks, but I have barely seen him.  I even miss the fights.

I escaped today -- just a little walk to the stables.  I thought I might find Juan there. I did.  He was not alone.  I knew that the relationship between Juan and Luis had become close; I just had not realized how close.  I should have made a scene.  I could have walked away.  I watched.  

Antonia heard the voices as she entered the stable.  She knew the grooms were in town for the stable master's wedding to the blacksmith's daughter, so it must be Juan and, very likely, Luis.  The next voice she heard clearly confirmed her suspicions, but the words stopped her cold.  She stayed behind the wall that separated the tack room from the rest of the barn.

"Don't forget to wash her blood off along with her scent."

"Would you prefer to come and do it for me, Luis?" The only reply to Juan's question was a disgusted snort. Juan continued, "She was well paid for her troubles.  Any husband will overlook a little thing like virginity for a dowery of that size."

"And if she is with child?"

"Go back in ten months and if she has a babe in arms then give her the same again."

"Me!  You expect me to clean up your mess?"

"You could have had your turn."

"She was fifteen, Juan!"

"And she will be sixteen next year.  Though less likely to put up such a fight."

Antonia sighed.  The past seven months had been quiet; she had hoped that incidents like this could be avoided while they remained out of Juan's family's reach.  She was heartened to hear Luis' disapproval, for without support Juan might think at least once before doing something like this again.  It seemed from the tone of the conversation that the girl had escaped relatively unscathed,  Antonia knew from experience that it could have been much worse.  She hoped that Juan would continue to restrain his taste for power while Luis could be a witness.

She looked around the partition, careful to remain in the shadows of the barn out of the light cast by the single candle in the tack room. She saw Luis placing the horses' bridles on a peg on the far wall. He was without his coat and his shirt was hanging loose.  His hair was damp, as if he had run his wet hands through it.  It looked as if they were cleaning up from their eventful afternoon.  The sight of Juan confirmed it; he was shirtless and had a towel in his hands.  He had obviously needed more of a scrub than Luis had, for only half of the buttons on his trousers were fastened.

What stopped Antonia from entering the room at this point was the look on her husband's face.  She knew that look. She had been on the receiving end of that look once upon a time.  Her heart started to pound as she remembered what is was like to have all of Juan's considerable attention focused on her.  It had been overwhelming in the beginning -- seductive and exhilarating -- now she knew that there was a price to be paid for all of that passion.  She was frozen in fear, not only of Juan, for whom lust and violence were close relations, but also for Luis, who might be only beginning to learn that. Juan came up behind Luis, who froze, too, until Juan purred in his ear, "If you're feeling deprived of attention, that can be remedied."

Luis sent Juan sprawling into the straw.  Antonia didn't quite see the move that Luis made, but she almost laughed aloud in relief, she had forgotten that Luis was not as helpless as she had been.  "I've seen what you consider paying attention, Juan," he said, apparently disgusted. He turned his back on Juan, moving to the saddle waiting on the rack.  There was a container of tallow sitting nearby, and Luis began to work the fat into the leather to remove the salt and dirt of the day.

Juan came up behind him and leaned across his back to breathe into his ear, "Yes, I can tell." Antonia couldn't see what Juan did, but she could see the reaction on Luis' face.  It was the epitome of pleasure.  Juan's other hand moved in a smooth caress up Luis' back, over his shoulder, then into his hair.

At that touch, Luis seemed to come back to himself. He pushed back hard, and took a couple of steps to put Juan off balance. "Haven't you had enough vice for one day?"

Juan managed to keep his footing and even pulled Luis back so that, again, he was up against the wall that held the bridles and harnesses.  Antonia couldn't see Juan's face, but she knew that grin in his voice. "Might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb."  She was also familiar with the chuckle he gave as he dropped to his knees.  His fingers made short work of Luis' trousers while he commented, "Or I guess, in this case, a ram."

Antonia's first thought was, Well, there's one way to shut Juan up.  She knew that Juan was not a faithful husband.  She had a good idea that his occasional "encounters" with the local girls were just the most notorious of his adventures, but the sight of the proof grated on her pride, particularly since he was with a man whom she wanted for herself.  Soon she was too preoccupied with the sight of Luis to give any further consideration to her husband.

She hadn't allowed herself even to imagine Luis looking like this, she didn't think she could have come anywhere close to reality if she had.  His hair was  falling over his eyes, but he was looking out from under it to Juan kneeling between his legs.  His jaw was tight and nostrils flaring, as if he didn't trust himself to gasp for air without letting some tell-tale sound escape.  His hands were clenching and unclenching at his side.  The expression on his face, that she first took as anger, she now realized was something else entirely. His hand came up and let his fingers run gently through Juan's straight, dark hair.  Luis was obviously fighting hard to keep his own fierce desire in check.

Juan sat back suddenly, and Antonia was certain she heard a growl from Luis.  "These are coming off," Juan ordered and moved to pull off Luis' boots, soon followed by the rest of his clothes.  The only contribution Luis made to the effort occured when Juan tugged at the shirt.  Luis swept it over his head in a single motion.  Antonia smothered a gasp with her hand.  He was lovely. The muscles, developed in his active life, were well defined and without excess bulk.  The fine hair that had once caught her eye was denser at his breastbone and spread to lightly cover the planes of his chest.  Juan was blocking part of her view, but she could see a flat stomach, the point of one hip and a beautiful leg, also well muscled from the time he spent in the saddle.  The only blemish she could see was a fine red line which ran along the last of his right ribs. It looked as if it had been drawn by the point of a knife. Maybe it had.  The flaw simply added to the power of the image.

Juan rose to his feet just as Luis was reaching for him again.  The brief flash of anger that crossed Luis' features was unmistakable, but it disappeared as soon as Juan dipped his fingers in the tallow.  Luis leaned back against the wall and grabbed onto the leather straps of the harnesses hanging above his head.  Antonia heard Luis' feet shift in the straw while Juan resumed his place; this time only one hand rested on the firm thigh.

Luis' head fell back, and his hands gripped the leather until his knuckles were white.  She heard a hoarsely whispered, "Madre de dios," and then just the moist sounds of Juan's attention to Luis' body.  After the initial clench, Luis' hands started to move within the harness.  He wrapped and unwrapped the straps from around his wrists and palms, threaded the straps between his fingers, occasionally renewing the savage grip.

It was during one of those moments that there was a cry from Luis.  Juan rose from his knees and took a step back as if to admire the sight before him. The barn still held the heat from the day's bright autumn sun, so this activity had easily brought a sheen of sweat to Luis' skin. His hair was damp, his chest heaving, his face flushed, as was his erection standing proudly away from his body.  Luis was undeniably at the far edge of arousal.  He was also furious.  He started to untangle his fingers from the leather traces, while he cursed between his teeth,  "God damn you, Juan..."

Juan moved quickly to loom over Luis, one hand covering those in the harness.  Antonia couldn't see Juan face, but she could see Luis' eyes as they moved continuously over Juan's expression.  Juan growled, "Turn around."

Luis' jaw tightened, and he tried to jerk his hands out of the grip.  Juan held him against the wall with his hand and the press of his body.  Now Antonia could see only Juan's back, but she heard the words. "Turn... around."  Juan's voice was still rough with passion, but the tone had softened.

There was silence for a few moments, then the sound of the end of a kiss accompanied by a whispered, "Please."  She wasn't sure who voiced the word.

There was another moment of stillness before Juan stepped back.  His trousers were already undone, his cock full and eager.  He scooped up some more of the tallow while Luis turned to face the wall.  Luis braced his elbows against the rough wood and renewed his grip in the leather.  With his cock glistening from the grease, Juan turned to Luis; again his broad back was all Antonia could see.

She leaned against the tack room wall, no longer watching, just listening.  This was becoming too much.  She had not imagined that witnessing such an act would effect her almost as strongly as participating could.  There was deep intake of breath that she knew must be Luis' for it was overlaid by a familiar groan.  It sent a wave of heat through her and she stifled an echo of the sound.  Then there was just the breathing, becoming harsher - easily matched by her own. The occasional sound of skin on skin -- hers warmed in empathy. Quite often a low whisper -- she couldn't make out the words.

Her curiosity overwhelming her again, she looked back around the partition.  The candle light glistened off of the sweat on Juan's back.  His hair was caught in it, as if a dark spider web had been laid across his shoulders.  One hand was out of sight holding Luis; the other was wrapped in the harnesses, the three sets of fingers trapped there, intertwined.  It was this image that stole her breath - that and the low, erotic moan, which was closely followed by the groaned, "Oh, by all the saints! Luis!"

Antonia made sure she was in the shadows while spasms racked the muscular back facing her.   As the tremors faded, she could see that Juan was rubbing his forehead along Luis' shoulder.  He paused for a moment before he freed his hand from the traces.  He ran it along Luis' arm, down his flank, to his hip.  Then Juan moved away to lean against the wall next to Luis' hands.

Luis didn't free himself or move to stand completely upright; he just shifted position slightly as if to make himself more comfortable.  He moved a little closer to the wall and brought his arms together so that his head, which had been hanging between his elbows, could rest on them.  His hair was sticking to his face.  Juan reached over to push the damp strands away.

Antonia couldn't read the expression on Luis' face, but Juan's she knew.  She still caught a glimpse of it, sent in her direction from time to time, though not as often as in the early days of their marriage. This encounter with Luis had been more than just a release.  She could see that there was a real connection between the two men, one that she could never have with either of them. The unfairness of it brought the burn of tears to her eyes.  Then Juan leaned in to kiss Luis, and for the first time Antonia started to feel she was intruding.  She left before the kiss ended

I think Luis has been avoiding me.  I understand his distance during the time so close to the birth, but I have been back in society since Christmas.  I keep replaying that day in the garden.  I came so close to making a fool of myself that I think he might have noticed.  I didn't know then where his interests lay. And I can understand him not wanting to have to fend off the advances of his commander's daughter.  I would never

I will try to talk to Luis, warn him again of the dangers of the path he is walking. Juan can be overwhelming, and he knows how to get what he wants.  If he wants Luis, then he will use all of not inconsiderable ability to maintain his influence. This is not coming from a jealous wife -- it is not -- but from a woman who doesn't want to see a man such as Luis drowned in Juan.

They found a gypsy girl in the wood today.  Strangulation was the official cause of death but, from what I was able to find out, it must have seemed a release.  Where was Juan?  No one will ask.  I know Luis has "cleaned up" after Juan before, could he be doing it again?  That wouldn't surprise me.  Juan has always had someone to follow behind and pick up the pieces.  It is strange though -- Juan has a temper and is careless with his fists, he ignores the wishes of others if they conflict with his own, he loves to make someone else feel helpless, but as far as I know this is the first time anything or anyone has ended up dead.  

Luis was having difficulty figuring out why he was feeling so satisfied.  It had been a hellish day.  The night before had been... enlightening...  but not necessarily enjoyable.  He had discovered more about himself in the past 24 hours than he had in the last 23 years.  Yet here he was, sitting in the rose garden, feeling as if he had won a war.

When Luis had questioned Juan the night before about why he was dragging a gypsy girl into the dense undergrowth to rape her, the response had made a strange kind of sense. Juan had said, "I took her because I can.  I want her and I will have her, until I don't want her anymore."

He had turned this over in his mind while Juan continued to brutalize the girl. To do something just because you are able to do it.  Was that reason enough?  Could just the taking be enough? When he had finished his turn with the pathetic creature, he knew that wasn't it.  He had felt as demeaned as the girl.  She had nothing that he could not easily obtain elsewhere; this theft was of no value to him.  Even though overpowering her struggles had been enough of an incentive for him to complete the deed, she had done nothing to him, there was none of the satisfaction that he had obtained from beating a condescending sneer off a smug, noble born face.  It had just seemed pointless.  Yet there was something in Juan's words that nagged at him, a bigger truth hiding behind the barbaric sentiment.

Luis had watched the girl as Juan moved away from her for the last time.   She was no longer afraid of them; he could see it in her eyes.  She had moved past the fear of pain and death to vengeance at all costs.  It was possible that she might not have survived, but if she had she would have been dangerous.  All of Juan's money and influence would not be able to stop a knife or a bullet, and she would have had no concern for the final price she would have to pay for obtaining her revenge with either.  Even if she lived just long enough to make an accusation, his career might be ruined, although Juan would likely walk away unscathed.  There had been no other option. With grim determination, Luis had placed his hands around her throat and squeezed.  He had been the only one to hear her last words.  Juan's response to this action had been... enthusiastic.

The body had been found early this morning.  It was a little too soon for Luis' comfort because the cause and manner of her death were easily determined.  There had been no way to stop the spread of the news throughout the estate.  He  himself had taken on the responsibility of delivering the body to the gitano camp.  General Galvez allowed  gypsies to camp on a designated portion of the estate.  There had always been a peaceful coexistence in the past, so when the general's own captain of the guard had arrived, delivering the horrible news and the battered body, the gitano had little reason to doubt the sincerity behind his promise of a search for the culprit.  They had also seemed to appreciate his honesty when he had reluctantly agreed with their opinion that he was unlikely to find the murderer.

Now, after a day of apparently diligent though fruitless searching, Luis was basking in the last rays of the winter sun.  He was feeling like the garden, just waiting for some signal to start stretching, reaching, growing.  Today could have been one of those signs; he seemed to have dealt with the situation thoroughly.  His behavior during the investigation had been beyond reproach and during the search he had covered any evidence that had been left; there were no loose ends.  I guess it was a successful day.  Luis allowed himself a small smile.

"It is heartening to know that you can still find something to smile about after such an event."

Luis turned to the unexpected voice as his tranquil state vanished in a whirl of panic.  The gods were truly testing him today.  "Dona Antonia.  This is one of the few places where I would be able to smile.  The memories I have found here are kind enough to bring a moment of peace."

Antonia paused in her approach to the bench and looked at him with narrowed eyes, studying him.  Then she shook her head, as if to clear a thought from her mind and took a seat on the other end of the bench.  "Did you happen to come across my husband somewhere in your search, Capitan?  Juan is like a tom-cat; open the door, and you can never be sure where he will end up."

Her casual question seemed to have many layers; it made Luis cautious.  "I can't say I have seen him today, Dona.  If you're looking for him, I can send some men to find him."

"That is not necessary, Luis.  I usually know where he is."

The use of his given name combined with her direct tone sent a bolt straight through Luis' heart.  He knew that his diversions with Juan were unlikely to remain a secret forever, but he did hope that the lady would not find out. What must she think of me now?!  He made himself meet her eyes, and he was surprised at what he didn't find - no revulsion, no anger, just a little sadness.

Antonia continued, sounding resigned. "I thought I knew where he was last night, but with the recent events that have come to light,  I fear I may have been in error."

She's guessing.  I can put her mind to rest by confirming the lesser of the two evils.  Luis' words were tinged with regret. "If you had assumed that he was with me last night, then you were not in error."

Shock passed quickly over her face and then the serene mask that he had seen before fell into place.  "Were you with him all of last night?"

The coolness of her words had more sting than any physical blow.  She knows!  She knows her husband well and may only suspect that I have some immediate knowledge of the events.  She can't know!  Please God, don't let her know.  His mind was reeling, but his voice was steady.  "Are you accusing me of this crime, Dona?"

"All I am accusing you of is being guided by your passions, Capitan." Her calm facade cracked, and desperation increasingly crept into her voice. "And of ignoring my numerous warnings.  Did you not understand?  Must I be blunt?"

Luis could not think beyond the fact that he had to end this conversation with her. He had the horrible feeling that it was not going to be just regarding the events of the last day, more about the past seven months.  He rose to his feet, but Antonia no longer needed help getting off the bench, and she quickly blocked his escape.

"Juan comes from an old, wealthy, and powerful family.  This would not be the first... inconvenience that they have dealt with," she warned.  He turned away, not wanting to see her compassion, not wanting to understand what she was telling him.  She put her hand on his arm, seizing the fabric of the uniform, making him look into her eyes. "You do not have that protection.  He will be your ruin."

He searched her face for signs of jealousy, of judgement, but all he found was a concern that he knew he didn't deserve -- not from her.  It was also a candid reminder of everything Juan always helped him forget.  The pressure building behind his eyes made escape imperative.  He worked hard to keep his voice level.  "I appreciate your consideration, Dona.  Your warning, however, is unnecessary.  I am well aware of the differences between us and the dangers of any connection... to this crime.  If you will excuse me, it has been a long and trying day.  Senora Reyes."  He managed a polite bow to the lady.

He also managed to gain the privacy of his quarters before the tears overflowed.

Something is going on.  I'm only getting whispers of it before that "Hush, woman present" veil comes down.  Is there a girl born today who won't have to become adept at listening at keyholes?  All I have been able to find out is that there has been trouble with the guard and there is a man to be punished. The first thought that came to my mind was - what has Juan done now?

Papa asked me today what I knew of Juan's influence over Luis.  I told him only that Juan can be very charismatic and persuasive when he wishes to be.  I don't think he appreciated being reminded of his own inability to discern Juan's nature. He had met Juan a number of times before agreeing to Don Javier's suit on behalf of his son.  Over the past five years a number of stories must have reached him. The antagonism between the two of them is palpable.  Fortunately, the house and grounds are large enough so that they rarely meet.  I will do my best never to give Papa any evidence that he should regret his choice of husband for me.  That he is suspicious is bad enough.  

The door to the general's study had not been completely closed.  Antonia stayed behind the heavy panel as she listened to the conversation going on within.

"I am questioning neither your authority nor your judgement, Capitan.  I am curious as to what prompted the action in the first place."

"I didn't question his motives, General.  I felt that he expressed his disdain very clearly.  If you require that I interrogate him..."

"That will not be necessary, Luis." Galvez's tone changed, With the use of his captain's given name, the commanding officer requiring a report turned into a mentor concerned for his charge. "I am wondering if having you act as full-time warden for Reyes has damaged your credibility with the men."

"There is no reason to second guess your orders, General.  You wanted me to keep Senor Reyes from disrupting the life of the estate, and I have done so to the best of my ability."

"But have you gone above and beyond the call of duty?"

"I don't consider that possible, sir."  The adamant statement left no doubt that Luis would have descended to Hades had the general asked.  It also didn't answer the question.

There was silence.  Antonia risked moving the door slightly so that she could see through the crack between the hinges.  She saw her father move to stand near his young officer,  paternal pride evident on his face.  "You may sentence the man as you see fit, Capitan.  You have always shown good judgement in these matters."

Returned affection was revealed in Luis' expression, although he seemed to be trying to restrain it, and there was true gratitude in his voice as he said,  "Thank you, sir."

The general nodded his dismissal, and Capitan Montoya drew himself up into a sharp salute.

Antonia ducked quickly into the room across the corridor.  She could easily have moved from there to any part of the house, but she lingered in the doorway, for from there she could see into the entryway and the figure lounging on the bottom steps of the main staircase.  When Luis left the study, he entered the hall and went directly to the staircase and Juan.

Juan didn't move from his seat as he sneered, "Have you been given your orders?"

The look Luis sent him clearly stated his refusal to support Juan's feud with his father-in-law. "I'm still captain of the guard.  It is still my responsibility to maintain discipline in the troops."

"And?" said Juan, archly.

Antonia was stunned at the change she saw come over Luis as he turned to leave the house.  The fury in the pale eyes was electric and the menace in his voice sent chills down her spine.  "And I want him dead.  But I will have to settle for flogging; that's all the regulations allow."

Suddenly, it was almost as if the situations of the two men had been reversed.  Juan bounced to his feet and practically scampered after Luis. "Do I get to watch?"

"Could I stop you?"

Antonia heard the sneer, this time in Luis' voice, as they passed out of her line of sight.  She moved carefully down the corridor to the entrance to the hall.  She had them back in view in time to hear Juan say, "Probably not."

"Would I want to?" The question was asked almost coyly and Luis flashed a wide grin over his shoulder at Juan.

Juan leaned close and purred in Luis' ear. "Definitely not."

Luis shoved him away. "If you don't stop that, you're the one who's going to get punished."

"Promises, promises," Juan laughed, as his long stride carried him out of the way of Luis' half-hearted swing.

They're behaving like a pair of university students discussing the latest prank, Antonia thought with disgust.  Their glib approach to the event produced the same horrible sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that the news of the gypsy girl had evoked.  The same agitated helplessness came over her as she realized that she was powerless yet again, for her premonition of disaster had no reasonable foundation.  At least none that could be voiced openly.  The only consolation was that this act of brutality was to under Luis' flag of authority and done in plain view, while the girl's death had certainly been at Juan's instigation and in secret. Perhaps a reminder to Luis of the public nature of this event would be prudent.  She was just moving into the hall to follow them when she was stopped by a call from behind her.

"Antonia, will you speak with me a moment?"

She could only send one last apprehensive look after the two men before attending her father.  

There is a man in the barracks lashed to a bloody pulp.  Luis held the whip, of that there is no doubt, but I know who helped guide his hand.  Juan was there, a witness had said, watching at a distance.  Luis has changed.  But how can I make that judgement?  I barely know the man!

I had thought last year that the beginnings of a connection might be developing between Luis and me, but the danger to his career and reputation prevented me from acting.  Not to mention the fact that I was rapidly becoming the size of a whale.  Would he have been more at risk if he had been my lover rather than Juan's? Seducing his commander's daughter -- the blame would have been put on him -- would not have been a good career move.  Juan might have killed him.  Juan might have killed me! But what if no one had found out?  What if

I have been a fool.  In my guilt over my feelings for Luis, I have allowed Juan too much freedom with him.  Now Juan has done it again - destroyed another life.   But not in his usual way, this time he has trapped a soul.  Captured it, molded it to a form he desires.  Now he is reveling in his creation.   I don't know if I want to look for them, Juan and Luis, for I know what I will find. Also, I am not sure of whom I am more jealous --  Luis for being on the receiving end of all of Juan's passion or Juan for getting a glimpse of Luis'.  

The captain was very proud of his self control.  Instead of responding to Sergeant Garcia's insubordination with a fist to the man's face, which was his first instinct, Luis had had him confined and had allocated a punishment suited to the crime - at least he had kept it within the letter of the law.  After spending the night in the small cell, Garcia had been tied to one of the sturdy posts in the practice yard.  Now, as the sun set, the 25 lashes were about to be meted out.  Luis moved to check the bindings and quietly reminded the soldier that his true crime had been the insult that he had whispered under his breath before refusing his commander's order.  "Be grateful that this is coming from a 'weak little maricon'. Imagine what the result would be if I were a real man."

Luis had decided to wield the whip himself.  He made sure at first to keep the strokes even and steady as was expected, then the fifth strike, crossing the other welts, drew blood and a cry from Garcia. Luis felt a thrill shoot down his nerves.  As the next few increases in strength, the cries became steady.  Luis found his gaze drawn to the edge of the gathered crowd, to Juan.  For the next strokes he kept his eye on the man.  Every time the lash fell he could see Juan take a deep breath.  When he saw Juan shift in a very telling manner, Luis found his own body responding sympathetically.  By now the cries had been reduced to moans, but the bloody back continued to flinch in response.  He had lost count, and a quick look at Juan found him licking his lips. Just another stroke or two.

Luis found his arm caught by his lieutenant. "That is 45, Capitan."

"Fifty is within my right," Luis snarled as he tried to shake off the restraining hand.

"But 25 were all that were sentenced." Carlos sounded shaken.  Luis looked at his lieutenant, a good officer who had worked his way through the ranks. This man was seldom unnerved.  Luis released his grip on the whip.

"Cut him down and clean him up.  Keep everyone not on patrol in the barracks."  Luis heard a relieved sigh as Carlos went to carry out the order.  He made a quick scan of the area for Juan.  He was nowhere in sight.

As Luis walked to his quarters, he wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt.  It came away pink. It was then that he noticed the blood splattering the rest of his clothes.  He removed the shirt, damp with sweat and dotted with blood, and used it to clean his face, neck, and arms.  He threw the garment into a corner as he closed the door to his small, two room cottage.  The evening was darkening rapidly, so the faint glow from a lighted lamp in the bed chamber could be detected.  Luis pulled off his boots, double checked the latch on the door and drew the curtains over the windows before going to the door.  He leaned against the frame.

"You're a presumptuous bastard." He addressed the nude figure stretched out on his bed.

Luis felt as if his blood were boiling.  Having the life of that smug, stupid sergeant in his hands had been the most amazing sensation.  Proving to the man how mistaken he was had been extremely satisfying.  Every high born twit who had ever dared consider himself superior to Luis due to bloodlines alone had been under that lash. He still couldn't understand why Juan settled for overpowering young women; there was no rush of power from subjugating the weak.  Maybe he had been giving Juan too much credit - maybe he was just a bully.

But he was a bully who knew exactly how to subjugate Luis.  It was simple -  Juan stood up.  Watching the formidable figure move toward him, he felt most of the heat running through his veins focus on a very specific part of his anatomy.  This was the other reason for the enjoyment of the evening's work -  the promises Juan had sent him throughout the event.  The look in Juan's eyes, the shift in his pose, the twitch in the half smile on his face had all conveyed a very clear message.  The promises were about to be fulfilled.

Juan's kiss was devastating, but then they always were.  Luis found the rest of the world fading away so that all that was left was the press of hot lips on his, the smooth glide of Juan's tongue in his mouth. Nibbles, sucks, caresses all combined to restrict his interest solely to his mouth.  No, there was one other part also demanding attention, and it became the new focus as Juan slid his hand into the now open front of Luis' trousers.

Luis broke the kiss with a hoarse laugh as Juan's fingers casually wrapped around his erection. Then Juan started to walk to the bed; Luis had no choice but to follow.  He made sure to hold his trousers up so that they wouldn't fall to his ankles and add another embarrassment to the list.  It was very annoying that Juan made indignity so damn enjoyable.  He let go of his pants when they reached the bed and dropped onto it before Juan could give him a push.  He knew the routine by now.

As Juan stripped off the rest of Luis' clothes, he said, "You cleaned your face."

Luis was instantly alerted by Juans' indifferent tone. "Yes," he said cautiously.

"I liked the look of the blood," Juan purred as he crawled up Luis' body. "It completed the image.  Your chest swelling before you took each stroke.  The strain of the muscles in your arm easily visible.  Your hair becoming damp around your face.  Your eyes shining -- gloriously fierce.  You looked amazing."

The rate at which Juan could cause him to switch moods tended to make Luis light headed.  Or maybe it was all the blood rushing away from his brain. "I'm sorry," he managed, slightly breathless. "Spending the evening covered in blood just doesn't appeal to me."

"I would have cleaned it off for you."

Juan started to lick him in long strokes up his throat and along his jaw.  Luis suspected it was partially because of the idea of the blood and partially because Juan knew that he found it disgusting.  He was not in the mood for any more of Juan's idiocy tonight.  When Juan moved his wet tongue above the jaw line, Luis dug his nails into Juan's flank and dragged them up his ribs.

"Jesu!" Juan rolled off but pulled Luis with him.  He had a firm grip on one of Luis' wrists and with his other hand he checked his wounds.  After glancing at the traces of blood on his fingertips, he managed to get hold of Luis' free hand.

Juan was just as hampered by Luis' weight on top of him, as Luis was by the restraint of his hands. So instead of producing the expected struggle, Luis just grinned and said, "I thought you liked the look of blood."

"Not mine," Juan said peevishly, but his annoyed expression turned sly. "I keep forgetting you're like one of those little wild cats. Small, but as vicious as hell."

Luis hated it when Juan brought up their size difference - about four inches and thirty pounds.  He was actually slightly taller than average; it was Juan who was oversized.  There was one attribute, however, where in which they were essentially equal, and Luis realized that neither of their interests had waned during the spat.  His grin became wider as he replied, "And you're like one of those big dogs that growl before the fire.  All teeth and no bite." He kissed Juan hard, pulling away as Juan tried to disprove that charge.

During the distraction, Luis had adjusted his position so that his penis was firmly against Juan's.  He shifted his hips, sliding his cock along Juan's as he pulled back to avoid the snap of sharp teeth.  Juan's head fell back onto the bed, his eyes closed, and a soft, rough moan came from low in his throat.  Luis repeated the motion, and a smile appeared on Juan's face.

"Like that, do you?" Luis asked, not bothering to repress a smug chuckle.

Juan opened one eye in an attempt at a glare.  Luis managed to slide his cock directly on top of Juan's for the next stroke then continued the rhythm snuggled on the other side.  That dropped the eyelid and elicited another low groan.  "I'm going to kill whoever taught you that," Juan's threat was underscored by a breathless laugh.

"What a shame.  It's natural talent." One that Luis wished he had found sooner.  This was very pleasurable, and he enjoyed being in control for a change.

That opened both of Juan's eyes which immediately crinkled in the wide grin that covered his face. "How fortunate for me."  Then the grin faded, and a very familiar look came into his eyes.

Luis could see that Juan was reaching up to kiss him, but he easily kept out of range.  He was enjoying this little power play and was not about to end the game any time soon.  Eventually, Juan gave up.  Then he narrowed his eyes and started to spread his arms while maintaining a tight hold on Luis' wrists.  Luis was forced to rest most of his weight on his chest, and as his arms were widened, his face slowly lowered toward Juan's.

Just as their lips met, Juan pulled away. "You've stopped," he pouted.

"I've noticed.  I don't have any leverage.  So you will have to decide which part of me you want more."

"I want both."

"You can't always have what you want, Juan."

"Why not?"

The question was asked with such intensity, such certainty, that Luis suddenly didn't know why not. He had been thinking about this often during the past few weeks.  He knew all the reasons that he had always been given for everything he had been denied, and lately none of them seemed to be irrefutable.  Why not, indeed.

Luis gazed down at Juan and the answering smile showed himthat his reasoning must have been evident on his face.  He tried to be serious but Juan's smile widened, confirming his failure. "Why not?  Because you still have hold of my wrists so I still can't get any leverage."

His hands were instantly freed and he ground his lips on Juan's in a crushing kiss.  His hips echoed the motion, but there was no yielding in the flesh that met there.  The sweat and precum that had been collecting during the minutes of stillness created a smooth slide between their cocks. Juan moaned.  Luis took advantage of the dropped jaw to thrust his tongue into Juan's mouth.  He tasted an unmistakable metallic tang.  So Juan had been given his taste of blood but again it was his own.  The irony of that appealed to Luis and he continued to savage Juan's mouth only relenting when Juan took a grip on his hair near the scalp.

Juan didn't like to be passive for long so Luis let him take control of the kisses while he concentrated on setting a satisfying pace with his hips.  From the noises Juan was making he seemed content with it.  The added pressure and motion of Juan's  thrusts kept Luis very close to the edge, but he knew that it would be better to make sure Juan came first otherwise he would still be thinking about satisfying the bastard instead of enjoying the afterglow.  Fortunately he did not to have to wait long.  With one strong buck from Juan hot liquid spread between them.  The extra slickness allowed Luis to reach for release.  A release of all of the residual energy, lust, and anger from the events in the practice yard.  He ground onto Juan, following the demands of his body, and soon his body complied with his need.

Luis rolled off, pacified for the moment.  Getting what you wanted was possible.  Luis had wanted Juan but had always been told that he could not have such a thing.  The sweat drying on his body and stickiness at his groin was clear proof that he could.  He also had the power and position to silence that stupid sergeant who had dared to try and remind him again that he shouldn't.  That was the key - the power.

He thought back to when the idea was first planted. "I took her because I can," Juan had said.  He could because of his family's protection; Antonia had made that very clear.  Luis was forced to protect himself, and he now knew that he could do that as well. He truly regretted the circumstances that required him to prove it that day, though. The whole event, six weeks past, was still unsettling him.

The feeling of eyes on him brought Luis out of his musings and he turned his head to meet Juan's dark gaze. "What has suddenly caused this somber mood?" Juan asked.

Luis returned his focus to the ceiling. "The gypsy girl."

Juan stretched out on his back before casually commenting, "The one you killed -- you killed, Luis."

"Some things are worse than death, Juan.  I didn't think it wise to leave someone alive who knew that."  Luis paused while trying to decide whether he should tell Juan part of what was haunting him.  Maybe it would help; it's not as if he could confide this in anyone else.  "She whispered to me before..."

Juan interrupted, apparently surprised,  "The little puta cursed you?"

Luis glanced from the corner of his eye at the man beside him.  This was one of those moments when he again wondered how anyone could have ever thought that nobility was hereditary.  When he finally spoke, he had managed to reduce his contempt to resignation. "Juan, when even I find you crude, you know you're stepping well over the line of good taste.  No, she didn't curse me.  It was more like a prophecy."

The laughter coming from Juan was a clear indication of his opinion of the matter.  "What did she say?" he asked.

"Every woman in your life will be to you both a hindrance and a deliverance."

There was a disgusted snort from Juan. "That sounds like all women in general."

"No.  That sounds far too specific." A curse Luis would have just shrugged off as a feeble attempt at vengeance, but he remembered the look in her eyes as his fingers closed around her throat and the clarity of the words after almost an hour of muffled screams and moans.

"There is an answer to that," Juan said as he rolled to again face Luis.  His hands began tracing diverting patterns over Luis' skin and his lips moved close to whisper,  "Stay with me.  Don't bother with women in your life.  Come with me when we leave for Avila."

"You're leaving?  When?" Was that disappointment or relief he was feeling? Luis didn't want to look too closely at the reasons for either.

"It is only a matter of time before the summons arrives.  Until then, I plan to take full advantage of the time here to convince you to come with me."

Luis knew that was unlikely. The military was too much a part of his life and General Galvez was too important a commander to abandon.  This position gave him a sense of purpose and place; it was also a way to gain a certain level of power.  He didn't have to inform Juan, though.  "That may be hard work, Juan."

"I think I am up to the job."

"You do seem to be."

This has to end.  

Antonia looked through the door of her father's study.  He was turned in his chair, staring out of the window.  She could guess the topic of his contemplation.

"Capitan Montoya," she said, making sure to close the door behind her after entering the room.

Her father gave her a small, rueful smile. "He had such promise.  He didn't have the inclination to be a scholar, so his father had little time for him.  Without any guidance, he seemed to need to struggle against everything, his intensity finding random targets either in interests, in friends, or in enemies.  The discipline of the army was good for Luis. It focused all of that energy."

"Perhaps it just needs to be refocused.  This could be a case of too much responsibility too soon." Antonia didn't believe that but didn't dare voice her true thoughts.  Too much temptation, too soon.

The regret in his voice was a close match to her own feelings. "I don't want to demote him.  That would just be another slap to his already fragile pride."

"No, I'm not suggesting that, just a return to a regular unit.  Would it be such a hardship to be a captain in some seaside place like Malaga or Barcelona?"

"Valencia?" He sounded interested in the idea, and the small spark of optimism brought a smile to Antonia's lips.

"Hmm, Almeria would be better," she said pointedly.  She had been wandering aimlessly around the room and had ended up behind her father's chair. She rested her crossed arms on the tall back. "I am going to be leaving soon."

He turned in his chair to look up at her, the disappointment and relief on his face plain to see.  Antonia understood both.  She continued, "They will want to see the newest Reyes son in Avila, and Juan Sanchez will have to be there, of course."

Her father turned back to the window.  He must have been contemplating their conversation, for there was only a small silence before he said, "So you think distance will be enough.  You can't keep them apart forever."

"Forever is a long time, but hopefully we will manage long enough for Luis to relearn the lesson about discipline.  Without discipline there is chaos, and from chaos -- anarchy.  It is in the uncertainty at the edge of chaos that Juan thrives, but no one thrives in anarchy.  Keep an eye on your bright boy, Papa.  I don't begrudge you a surrogate son to follow in your military footsteps."

He nodded and looked up at Antonia again this time with undiluted affection. "How did I gain such a wise daughter?"

"I had a good example."  She smiled as she kissed his forehead and left to begin packing.

Epilogue

February 16, 1808

His ship left today.  I hope I have done him a service in pushing for his recommendation for this post.  A new country, a new start.   Papa saw great promise in him, I knew he would never realize it here. Opportunity is really all he needs.  Good luck Luis, I will miss never really knowing you.  

She watched from a hillside road as a ship left Cadiz harbour. He will be on his way now. On to a new life away from Spain and away from Juan.  Antonia still blamed herself for failing to prevent the foolish connection that had been forged between her husband and the young officer.  But with this token of atonement, she felt she had balanced the scale.  California would be good for Luis; he would thrive there.

"What are you watching, Mama?"

"An opportunity, querida."

A golden head leaned out the carriage window through which she had been gazing.  "It looks like a ship to me."  Her daughter's dark eyes met hers, as the little girl continued,  "Are we going to see Papa today?"

"Yes.  Do you think he will like his surprise?"

"I don't know.  Are we going to Avila for you to have the baby?  He might not like that."

The child is too observant.  "No, I thought about going to Abuelo Galvez's house.  Do you remember that house?"

"Only Abuelito -- and the soldier with the blue eyes who was Papa's friend."

Much too observant.  "Neither will be there, Katerina." Antonia couldn't help the sadness that crept into her voice at the thought of these two men. "Just the boys and you and I."

"That's all right, Mama," Katerina said consolingly, and climbed up on the seat.  "Although a sister would be nice for a change." She patted her mother's stomach as she snuggled close.

"I'll see what I can do, mija," laughed Antonia, hugging her daughter in return. She instructed the driver to continue.

END