Cold Equation

by Una

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of 'Star Wars' depicted in this
story are legal property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd. and Timothy Zahn, and
have been used without permission. No copyright infringement intended.

Summary - Mara returns wounded to Coruscant after she had been away for
months on a mission for Leia to retrieve some Jedi artifacts. Before that she
has
left Luke, freeing herself from the bond that seems to suffocate her. And
the Jedi Master has not been able to reach her through the Force and it seems
that Mara Jade is not a Jedi anymore ... by choice or by fate?
NC-17

Prologue

The mission had gone awry from day one and she should have felt something
was wrong. Felt it? Mara chuckled to herself and shook her head. She reached
for the injector with the Ysalamiri essence. It had cost her a fair share of
her credits on the black market, but she had paid so willingly. She recalled
the merchant looking at her strangely when she had asked after the forbidden
essence which was produced from Ysalamiri which had the unique capability to
sever and temporarily destroy the bond of the Force with and amongst Jedis.

I really let him think, I need it to capture a Jedi, she thought and shook
her head. That is far from the truth. Soon after she had purchased the essence
and the injector, she had made her way back to her ship again. There in the
safety of the Fire she had once and for all severed the bond between herself
and Him. Knowing full well that in doing so she would have to continue it
till her last living day. Ysalamiri was destined to wear off but she was
determined to keep herself subdued, even if it meant to increase the doses over
time.

For the last weeks she had used the injector every day, cutting the last
shreds of the bond between herself and the Force. At first she had been afraid,
to be virtually blind and deaf, but with the mission at hand, she had to come
to rely on her other abilities. She was a trained killer and assassin, she
knew how to fight. And that she had done. Now she held in her possession
another one of the old Jedi artifacts and she was back en-route to Coruscant.

Nursing her wounded shoulder which took longer to heal than with her Jedi
Powers, the woman sat back in the pilot's chair and closed her eyes.
Immediately, her mind was riveted back to the time that led her to where she was
now.
Mara Jade let herself review the events for the first time in 10 weeks that
had brought her to the decision to sever the bond to the Force and renounce her
status as a Jedi.

+++
Chapter One

"Hey, Mara," Luke's voice reverberated through the halls of the former
Imperial Palace in Coruscant. "Wait up!" Luke Skywalker, only living Jedi
Master
and saviour of the galaxy, unceremoniously ran after the slender woman who
had just left the Council Chamber. After weeks of negotiating with pompous
officials on some back-water planet and their wishes to join the New Republic,
all Mara Jade wanted to do was to take a shower and sleep for at least the rest
of the day. Fate had it that she had to run into Skywalker after she had
reported the outcome of her negotiations to the council members.

Mara Jade uttered an expletive beneath her breath and turned around.
"Skywalker," she greeted him and a tired smile appeared on her lips. "Didn't
know
you were away from Yavin, Farmboy," she teased him when he had reached her.

"And I didn't know you had business with the council, Mara," Luke quipped
and fell into a trot beside her. The woman glanced sternly over to him, as
always her heart missing a beat or two when she saw the Jedi Master. They had
come a long way since her days where she had been intent on killing him and over
the years they had established a precarious but strong friendship.

*You look tired, Mara*, Luke sent her through the force and he could feel
that the council meeting had drained the last of her reserves.

*You would too, if you've been interrogated for four hours straight,
Farmboy*, Mara quipped back trying to gather more strength for her usual banter
with
the Jedi Master. But she felt too tired to endulge in that little pleasure
of ribbing each other either mentally or verbally.

"If you excuse me, Skywalker, but I need a rest. I'll drop by later to keep
you updated, okay?" She asked and was about to leave the Palace, when Luke
held her back. Both stepped away from each other in surprize when a jolt of
energy raced through them.

"Whoa!" Luke exclaimed, for the moment being more the farmboy Mara liked so
much than seasoned Jedi and warrior.

"Whoa indeed, Skywalker," She commented and rubbed her hand absentmindedly.
"Did you bring your Force Power conductor or something?"

Luke Skywalker watched Mara intently. Over the last couple of times there
had been Force exchanges between them. He had never heard of these things, but
then he was not familiar with a lot of the Jedi traditions and he was not
sure what was happening. Ever since Mara had taken his spare-bedroom, he had had
dreams about her every night, even if he was on Yavin. They weren't exactly
nightmares but the dreams surely kept him awake at nights and left him so
frustrated that even his Jedi meditations didn't help. And then when he was near
her, as if to remind him of the dreams he had so securely stored away in the
depth of his mind, these power exchanges had started between them. Luke
mentally shook himself.

*You are electrifying, Mara. Must be the reason*, he chuckled and felt for
Mara in the Force. All he could feel was a snort from the beautiful red-head.

"You really are tired, Mara Jade. You'd never pass up getting back at me!"
Skywalker said and stirred her into the general direction of his apartment.

"That's why I'm going to haul myself into an airtaxi and get back to the
Fire," Mara said and deliberately pushed away his hand with her leatherclad arm,
careful not to touch him with her bare skin. Another one of those bolts and
I'm either out cold or willing to get him into bed, Mara quickly clamped down
on that thought and shook her head lightly. Better not go there.

She almost missed that Luke was holding her back and staring at her. "Don't
be so stubborn, Mara. You have bunked more than once in my spare room, so why
change a convenient pattern now?" Luke asked.

Mara stared up at him, momentarily mesmerized by his blue eyes, then she
gave herself a mental shake. "That's okay, Skywalker. I have everything on the
Fire. I think I will just collapse on my bunk and be gone to the world."

Luke knew she was not telling the whole truth. Over the years he had come to
know her quite well and no matter how tired she would feel, she never passed
up the opportunity on sleeping in a more comfortable bed than her bunk on
the Fire.

"Alright ... just tell me what's wrong? Have you all of a sudden vowed never
to set a foot into my apartment again?" he chuckled. "Now, I think that is
daft, after it took me so long to even invite you in, my friend ..."

Trust Luke to be so perceptive. Damn him! Mara chided herself and made sure
she was effectively shielding herself from his probing. She could still feel
his presence in the Force despite her best efforts to block him out.

"Skywalker, I'm just tired and I still have to pick up my stuff from the
Fire ..." her voice trailed away. Of course, that was a lie. She had enough
spare clothes at Luke's place, stored away in a cupboard especially bought for
her. In fact, almost all of her favourite clothes had been stored at his place
over the last months since she had taken up lodgings in his spare room
whenever she was in town.

She received a questioning look from the Jedi Master and she shook her head.
"Humour me, Jedi Master," she said, harsher than she had intended and she
could sense Luke's recoiling from her in the Force. Mara sighed. "Okay,
Farmboy. I let you have it your own way - for now. I'm too tired to argue with
you
in a drafty corridor." She saw the smile creeping around his lips.

*Don't get smug, Farmboy, or you won't live to regret it!* she sent through
to him and watched as he struggled not to smile at her.

They walked to his apartment in companionable silence, both deeply engrossed
with their own thoughts. Luke Skywalker, despite his willingness to smile
and joke with Mara Jade, felt rattled. The exchange of the Force had surprized
and startled him. But something else had startled him over the last few
months. The Jedi Master had begun to trust women again, not that he had
mistrusted
Leia and Mara - but he had never felt truly comfortable, especially when
Mara was around. But for quite a while now he had not only looked forward to see
Mara Jade again, he had also insisted she should take the spare room of his
apartment whenever she was on Coruscant, he even had gone as far as giving
her the entry code to his apartment, which she had never - as far as he could
tell - used. She had always timed her comings and goings with his presence, as
if Mara Jade did not want to make him think she was intruding on his home
during his absence.
Luke Skywalker wondered at that. He had thought that he could never be
himself with a woman again, but over the last year or so, he had opened up more
and more towards Mara, and she had likewise. They both knew more about each
other than anyone in the galaxy, and the Jedi Master had shared secrets with the
former Emperor's hand that he had not been willing to share with Callista.
But something else disturbed him, something that eluded him even more.

Luke flashed Mara a sideways glance. She really looks tired, he thought and
suppressed the urge to reach out and touch her cheek. Where is that coming
from? he asked himself, not aware that he was sending it through the Force.

*What?* Mara asked, her head only slightly turning his way, indicating she
had understood him.

*Oh nothing, Mara, I was just thinking out loud,* Luke replied quickly,
trying to shut down his defenses. Be careful, Jedi, he reprimanded himself and
clamped down his defenses more fiercely.

They resumed their walk and Mara waited while he entered the code to his
apartment. All she wanted was a good night's sleep and a warm shower, perhaps
not in this particular order but her mind was determinedly set on those two
things.

She thanked Luke when he had let her in and with a sigh she first went over
to her room to get some fresh clothes and then to the refresher unit. Luke
listenend to the soft stirrings coming from the refresher, the gentle stir of
clothes being removed to the soft noise of water coming from the faucet. As
the Jedi Master sat down on his couch, his head resting against the back of the
comfortable settee, unwanted images floated through his mind.

Images of Mara undressing, shrugging out of the heavy-duty leathercoat she
had worn, the removal of the green tunic, the boots and trousers, milky-white,
soft skin gleaming in the light of the refresher unit, red-golden curls ...
Luke's eyes snapped open and he cursed. These images were too real to be
just a fantasy conjured up by his mind and he suspected they were Force invoked.
Stretching out in the Force, he could feel Mara's defenses and he quickly
withdrew.

So it isn't Mara taunting me, he thought and shook his head. How come the
Force bond is so strong between us? I never have heard about that before ...
not even with Leia do I feel this way, and she is closer to me than any living
being in this galaxy?! Skywalker sighed and went over to the small cooking
area. His movements were quick and determined as he prepared a small snack for
Mara and himself.

+++

Mara had felt the comforting presence of the Force as soon as she was alone
in the refresher unit. She could not put her finger to it, but she knew that
she was being watched. She had send tendrils of the force towards Luke,
realizing that it wasn't him who was the perpetrator, and so she had dismissed
the
whole thing as a trick of her tired mind.

After her shower she felt fresher and more awake, and when she came out of
the refresher she was greeted by the smell of a good Tatooine caf and
'bachon', one of her favourite breakfast foods. She smiled and went to the
cooking
area on bare feet. Luke had removed the austere robe and long-sleeved shirt and
was now expertly preparing breakfast. Mara watched his back muscles strain
underneath the tank top he was wearing as he lifted the pan to stir its
contents. A slight tingling went through her, urging her to walk over to him and
wrap her arms around him from behind. She shook her head, her eyes closing to
shut out the image of Luke, and for a moment she could even feel the warmth of
his back relaxing into her soft front.

Mara gasped and her eyes flew open, but she was still rooted to the spot.
Luke had heard her gasp and was watching her with a questioning look as she
walked over to the table and sat down.

"I guess I still haven't gotten used to the fact that the great Jedi Master
is very homey at heart," Mara tried to explain, grinning to overcome her
sudden shyness. "But I guess I'm grateful for that little secret trait of
yours,"
she added when Luke put a plate full with her favourite food in front of
her.

Her stomach growled very unladylike and they both laughed at that. "Now,
Mara Jade, great smuggler and Jedi, when was the last time you ate?" Luke asked
as he slipped onto the chair opposite her and dug into his own food-ladden
plate.

"Farmboy, unlike you and your insatiable Tatooine stomach, I can go without
food for a couple of days," Mara taunted but her stomach made her stop and
when Luke quirked her an eyebrow, shooting her a *Your stomach thinks
otherwise* through the Force, she snorted at that. "Okay, I had a rationbar
yesterday," when Mara saw his doubting face, she corrected herself. "Yesterday
morning
..."

Luke laughed at that, she looked just like a young girl who had been caught
with her hand in the cookie jar, and he thought that she looked adorable. I
should make sure she is tired more often, it makes her more pliant, he thought
and Mara's head snapped up.

"I heard that, Farmboy. More pliant my ass!" She pointed her fork at him,
munching around a bite of the 'bachon'. "You really are turning into a mother
bantha, do you wanna tuck me into bed after the meal?"

"If you let me, sure," Luke retorted. "But you know what bantha mums do,
right? They cuddle with their off-sping to make sure they don't get any
nightmares ..." his voice trailed away.

Sithspit! Had he just suggested to join her in bed? he asked himself and a
taunting *You sure did, Farmboy* from Mara was all the answer he needed.

"Umm.. Sorry, Mara," he said and looked down on his plate. He heard her
laugh, not as loud or glorious as others he had heard from her, but a laugh.

"If I weren't so tired, I would hold you to it, but for now I really think I
should go to bed ... alone." She gave him a tired smile and staggered to her
feet. With a *Good night, farmboy*, she left him. Luke watched as Mara Jade,
former Emperor's hand, assassin and smuggler and close friend to Jedi Master
Luke Skywalker, walked through his living area towards his spare room. He
liked what he saw. In fact, he enjoyed the view very much, he had to admit.

With a sigh he tore his gaze off her retreating back and swaying hips and
stood up. The soft thud of the door to his spare bed room momentarily letting
his eyes follow toward the sound, but Mara was already fast asleep when he
sent forth a tendril of the Force into her room.

Luke busied himself with datapads Leia had asked him to peruse for the rest
of the day, from time to time he probed the spare room but Mara Jade was
still lost to the world. The Jedi Master sighed, stood up and walked towards the
ceiling to floor transparastil windows. Dusk was setting slowly over
Coruscant and Luke stepped lightly onto his balcony, taking in the view in front
of
him.

The breathtaking view of Coruscant City never failed to calm Luke Skywalker
but today it did little to him. His mind was in a turmoil of images and
thoughts. Thoughts he had thought were buried, emotions he had not allowed
himself
to feel for a very long time.

When did my feelings for Mara change? Luke asked himself as he leant against
the banister. She is my closest friend, we never ... The young Jedi sighed
and squeezed his eyes shut. Control, he told himself. Must not loose control!

An image appeared - Mara's face, beautiful, lovely Mara. Her green eyes
blazing with desire, her mouth ravished with his kisses ...

"Sithspit!" Luke exclaimed and his fist connected with a loud smack against
the marble of the railing. He had long tried to forget the dreams, had buried
them in his subconscious for as many weeks as he had experienced them. There
was no denying, either the Force wanted to tell him something or this Jedi
really had the hots for his best friend like a love-sick teenaged farmboy.

"She is going to kill me," Luke breathed and chuckled to himself. "This time
she is really going to kill me and I deserve it .."

"You deserve what, farmboy?" A voice called out behind him. Luke whirled
around, muttering every Tatooine swear word he had ever come across beneath his
breath.

Jedi fool! he chided himself.

"Mara!" his voice caught in his throat and he sounded like the teenager he
had called himself only seconds earlier.

Mara frowned a little. She had woken up when she had felt ripples in the
Force, distorted images that were neither frightening nor urging, just
pleasurable. Seeing Luke Skywalker in such a flustered state, she was determined
to
know what was going on.

"You deserve what?" she asked again and stepped out onto the balcony to join
him. Without her boots she seemed even smaller than usually and when Luke
dared to look down at her, her shoulders barely reached his.

"Umm... I was just ..." Luke broke off and stared at the city view. Get a
grip! he reminded himself. "I was just thinking about asking you out for dinner
tonight. My treat for the best smuggler in the galaxy ..."

"And you deserve that?" Mara asked with a raised eyebrow, amusement evident
in her voice. "I thought there is this do you have to attend? Her Highness
Leia Organa Solo said as much when I was at the meeting. Something to do with
the New Republic forming a treaty with one of the outer rim worlds," When she
saw Luke's sheepish face, she laughed. "You forgot? Farmboy, I'm flattered.
But nevertheless I have to decline your invitation. You go to that reception,
otherwise Leia will have your hide, Jedi."

Luke laughed at the mental image Mara was sending him. He was held in a
deadly chokehold by Leia trying to skin him alive. It was hilarious, and he was
loosing it. Man, I'm really losing it! Luke thought after his laughing fit had
subsided and he wiped his eyes.

Mara frowned. Something is definitely wrong here, she thought and before she
could ask herself if it was save or not to touch Luke after their most
recent energy exchange, she reached out and cupped his face with her hands. Only
a
small jolt exchanged between them and Mara dismissed it. Gazing deeply into
his eyes, she looked for something that had changed the Jedi Master.

"Luke, what is wrong?" she asked, unaware of what her raspy concerned voice
and her immediate touch were doing to the object of her concern.

Luke knew he would have gotten out of this awkward situation if she had not
used his first name. She only rarely used it and when then in intimate
situations like this one.

Well, not that intimate, Luke told himself, making sure his defenses were
still up and he was skillfully shielding himself from her when images flashed
through his mind again.

"Luke?" Mara's somewhat panicked voice blended in with the more raspy,
passion-filled moan of his dreams. He acted on pure instinct then, giving in to
the powerful images the Force or his own befuddled mind conjured up for him.

Ignoring the bewildered stare of the woman in front of him, he likewise
cupped her face with his hands and bend down, dismissing the powerflashes
exchanging between them. There was no hesitation when he brushed his lips over
her
mouth, urging her to open it for his probing tongue. He increased the pressure
when he felt her stiffening in his grasp, determined to ravish and taste her
beautiful mouth.

"Sky-," Mara was cut short by his tongue invading her mouth, probing,
tasting, desiring her. She pushed her hands against his chest, trying to ward
him
off but she couldn't. She felt desire pooling through her body; heavy and
fierce like Cham'tac oil, setting her slowly but determinedly on fire. She
groaned when Luke pulled her closer, moulding her body to his strong, hard
frame.
Mara let go and her tongue probed and got a taste of her own of Skywalker.

SkyWalker! That certainly put a lid on her still growing passion. She
struggled again. This is Luke, she tried to convince herself. The Jedi Master,
my
friend. Not some guy I picked up in a bar on some gods-forsaken planet! With
all her remaining strengths she pushed free, gathering her power in the Force.

*SKYWALKER! For Sith's Sake, what's gotten into you!* She mindscreamed in
his head, cutting down his barriers. And more over what had gotten into her for
answering his kisses, a little voice nagged inside her head.

Luke blinked. What had gotten into him, indeed? He let go of her as quickly
as he had grabbed her and forced huge mouthful of air into his oxygen-starved
lungs.

Mara watched him, her breath hard and urging. That isn't the controlled Jedi
I know, she told herself, but she dared not walk closer to him. She was
concerned yes, she even cared, but after what had happened, she would rather
face
a Wampa single-handedly, with no weapons, than get anywhere near the
obviously sex-starved Jedi Master. She did not trust herself to stop again if
Luke
made another pass at her.

"I'm sorry, Mara ... I ..." Luke muttered and turned away from her. What had
he been thinking? he asked himself in remorse while he hid his face behind
his hands. This was Mara, for Sith's sake!

"You better have a cold shower and get your mates from Rogue Squadron on the
com to have a boy's nights out," Mara quipped, slowly regaining her
equilibirium again. But she still felt deeply shaken, the Force rushing through
her,
fanning instead of quenching the fires of passion still raging in her body.
With a shaking hand she brushed one of her fire-golden locks away from her
face and walked over to and through the door to his living-quarters.

Luke waited for several minutes before he heard the front door softly
hissing shut. He didn't need to probe her abandoned room to know that she had
removed all her clothing she had brought with her over the last few stays.
Slumping his shoulders, the Jedi Master turned towards the city again but his
unblinking eyes did not see the glistening lights of the city below.

+++

Chapter Two coming soon :)

Hi All,

I hope you enjoyed chapter one so now on to Chapter Two. Disclaimer and
summary please see Cold Equation Part 1/?

Una

Chapter Two

Mara was seething. After she had made her exit, she had hurriedly dressed
and thrown her clothes into one of her duffel bags she had stored with
Skywalker. Now she was determinedly striding down the corridor, and was berating
herself for what she had almost let herself into.

"Damn you, Skywalker. Damn you and your urges," she muttered under her
breath, in her mind swearing like a Corellian pirate. "I should have killed you
long ago ..." She quickly cut down on that thought and for a second closed her
eyes. Sure, as if you haven't tried, Mara Jade. You are a failure! Muttering
she resumed her walking and almost ran head-on into the Solos. Her training
with the Emperor kept her from yelling in frustration as she noticed Leia and
Han and their mildly amused looks.

"Han, Leia," Mara muttered and made room in the corridor to let them pass.

"You are leaving so soon, Mara?" Leia asked, grinning. The muttering of the
young woman had been heard from one end of the corridor to the next.

Mara's head snapped up, eyeing both the Senator and her husband closely.
"Yes, no ...," she sighed in frustration and shook her head as if to clear it.
"I'm staying on the Fire," she added and she knew it sounded pathetic. Damn
you Skywalker, you have turned me into a blithering idiot! Mara groaned,
unaware she was sending it through the Force.

Leia chuckled. "What did he do this time to get on your bad side, Mara?" she
asked, both women well knowing who HE was. Mara's eyes took on a deadly
stare.

"Tell HIM," she spat out, "Tell that brother of yours to stay away from me,"
she fell flat, well aware that she was making a fool of herself on her own
accord now.

Han raised an eyebrow. Now what had the kid done this time? he asked
himself, his curiosity piqued.

"You sound like a prim Corellian matron, Jade," he chuckled ignoring the
death-glare of the smuggler. "You sound as if the kid made a pass at you ..."
Seeing the colour draining from her face he stopped. Bantha Bollocks! Han
thought, He did??

With a snort Mara squeezed herself between the two of them and almost ran
the short distance to the turbolift. Ignoring the stares of two very bewildered
people.

"Han?" Leia asked, not sure if she had interpreted the smuggler's reaction
correctly.

"Your guess is as good as mine, love," Han said, still staring at the now
closed lift doors. "I've never seen Mara this ... this ..." he stopped himself,
groping in his mind for a suitable word. Leia nodded.

"Flustered and haggard," Leia continued for her husband. "I've seen her mad
and angry at Luke but never like this. And her Force signature ... it was so
strange, it was as if ..." she shook her head. "Surely Luke didn't make a
pass at her, do you think?"

Han watched his wife and shrugged his shoulders. "Mara obviously thinks so
judging from her reaction, Your Highnessness," he grinned at that. "Well well,
what da'ya know," he drawled. "The kid's loosening up and of all people he
has to chose Mara."

Leia snorted and ribbed her husband. "That is not funny, Han. If he really
made a pass at Mara, he definitely needs his mind examined. She wanted to kill
him, for maker's sake!"

"And you rather wanted to kiss a Wookie than me, Princess," Han retorted
which gained him another shove as they advanced towards Luke Skywalker's
apartment.

"Nerf-herder!" Leia spat but smiled, instantly reminded of their quarrels
earlier in their relationship.

+++

Luke was still standing on the balcony, lost in thoughts. Replaying the
events of the day, he had to admit that he had screwed up big time. Why had he
acted on his instincts rather than be his normally cool self?

Okay, I have been feeling lonely but that shouldn't excuse the fact that I
almost forced myself upon Mara, of all people. She doesn't deserve that and if
she doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore I have myself to
blame. Skywalker you are an all and all fool!

He sighed and checked his chrono on the far wall of his living-quarters. He
knew he had to get a move on if he wanted to be on time for the little do as
Mara had commented earlier.

Mara, I could kick myself for doing that stupid stunt. What had gotten into
me?? Luke closed his eyes again, instantly reliving that one kiss they had
shared only minutes ago. But this time he let the memories wash over him, not
suppressing them in any way he could still taste her on his lips, lingering in
the feeling of her body pressed closely against his chest.

*Damnn you Skywalker! Shield yourself against the Force. Any Force sensitive
will know what you did if you keep this up!* Mara's voice was strong and
Luke was startled for a moment. In the past they had shared force calls with
each other, but they had never been able to converse with such distance between
them, not when both of them were conscious. The Fire was on the other end of
the city.

*How?* Luke asked and Mara snorted.

*You tell me, you are the all-powerful Jedi Master,* Mara retorted within
the Force. *I can tell you one thing though, Skywalker. If this doesn't stop,
you will pay for it. I had enough of one particular voice in my head, I don't
need another one.*

Luke agreed silently and drew his barriers up, shutting out Mara and
shielding himself from any other Force sensitive for the while. +++ Unbeknownst
to
Luke and Mara one particular Force sensitive person had witnessed their
exchange and Leia drew in a shuddering breath. The images from Luke had left no
doubt as of what had happened between the two.

Han looked concerned at his wife. "Leia?"

"One thing is for sure, Han, we are in for a tumultuous time," Leia
breathed, shaking her head to get rid of the powerful sexual urges she had
received.
"May the gods help us all if Mara and Luke ever do more than just kiss ..."
she said mysteriously and hid a grin when the door in front of them opened and
Luke appeared in the door way.

He looked surprised and hurt, when they saw them and Han couldn't stop
before he quipped: "Expected someone else, kid? Mara perhaps?"

Luke's facial colour changed from white to beet red and his breath caught in
his throat.

"What?" he asked with a definite catch in his voice.

"Mara just stormed past us, so I assumed... ouch," Han yelped and rubbed his
side.

"What this Corellian oaf meant was, Mara just left. She was in a hurry,"
Leia said and pushed her brother back into his quarters. "Now, Luke, you still
haven't changed. We will be late for the reception."

+++

Mara Jade groaned and tried to get into a more comfortable position on the
bed. For the umpteenth time she cursed herself for giving up that comfortable
bed in Luke's quarters. It was only a kiss, she tried to convince herself,
but every time she closed her eyes, she was reminded that this kiss had been
more. And the dream she had had just a minute ago hadn't helped either.
Checking the chrono, Mara noticed she had only slept for three hours before she
had
woken due to her bumpy bunk and the nightmare.

She wasn't quite sure if she could call it a nightmare. In it she had not
stopped Luke from kissing her, the encounter getting more detailed in her dream
and Mara could still feel his touch on her naked skin, could feel her lips
taunting his, she imagined him above her as he made love to her
passionately...

In frustration, Mara shook her head and muttered. It's all your fault,
Skywalker! she cursed and hit her pillow once, twice, then a third time. "If it
weren't for you, I could sleep in that comfortable bed of yours and ..." she
cut herself short. What am I doing here??? Of course it is the Jedi's bed in
the spare room, but not HIS bed, the woman groaned and buried her head in her
hands.

At least that Force-bond is gone. I don't want to have the Jedi Master
gallivanting all over my mind! Despite that, Mara knew that she could not lie to
herself. During the rest of the day and night Skywalker had been on her mind
constantly, trying the last shreds of patience and if she was honest, she had
enjoyed the dream. She had even enjoyed the kiss in his apartment, having
longed for something like this to happen.

But I should have been the instigator, she thought and she instantly knew
that this was the very thing that was bugging her. Skywalker had caught her by
surprise. For once, she had been the one cornered, not him. This is sick,
Mara. Do you always have to have the upper hand? Just for once you could have
relented, Mara sighed and rubbed her back. Yeah and I would have a more
comfortable mattress to sleep on!

+++

Karrde had been on the receiving end of one of Mara moods for the last half
hour and, frankly, the smuggler had enough.

"I know you for quite some time now, Mara, but I had enough. Resolve
whatever is bugging you," Karrde growled and for a moment Mara wanted to retort
with
a snide remark. But Karrde was right. For the last ten minutes she had
snapped at her old friend and employer, directing all her pent-up frustration at
him.

Mara looked away, her face definitely having a haunted look. Karrde watched
her for a moment, then sighed.

"Fess' up, Jade. What's wrong? Has this Jedi Master of yours gotten himself
into another pile of Wampa shit?"

Mara's head snapped back to the holo-image. "Skywalker can jump into a
Sarlacc pit and I won't care!" she snapped before she caught herself. Noticing
the
smirk on Karrde's face, she exhaled softly and shook her head.

"Karrde," she started, then shut her mouth with an audible click when her
teeth connected. "Skywalker is not MY Jedi Master, he can do whatever he
likes," she stopped again. Well not everything he likes, Mara added silently.
Hesitating, Mara started her confession to Karrde, omitting the more graphic
content of her dreams and the incident on Luke's balcony which really had
started
to get her into the mess she was currently in. After she had ended her tale,
both were silent for a long time.

"I'll be damned," Karrde commented after a while. "I've always suspected you
had deeper feelings for Skywalker than you let on."

"What do you mean?" Mara growled.

"Now come, Mara, think about it. You were send out to kill him and you
couldn't. Bantha droppings, you even became friends, close friends and you two
have come a long way in the last eight odd years. You have saved each other's
lives more than anyone cared to count." Karrde knew he was walking on thin ice,
so he tried to word the following carefully. "Mara, I think you and
Skywalker should have a long talk. Perhaps you should move on... you know ...
ummm
explore other ways of your relationship," the smuggler gave her a sheepish
grin.

If Mara had ever been prone to gaping, she would have started at this
instant. Is Karrde really proposing what I think he is? Mara asked herself but
from
the slightly reddish blush on the man's face she knew she was right.

"Talon Karrde, you must be out of your twisted mind!" Mara flashed him a
deadly stare out of cold emerald eyes.

"Come on, Mara, either that or get drunk in a cantina and a have a good
time. You should relieve that tension you're feeling. If the Jedi Master is not
available, then look for someone else. I know more than one man who'd be more
than willing."

"Like who?" Mara almost choked.

"Like ...ummm Lando," Karrde retorted with a grin and despite herself Mara
had to laugh.

"I'm not that desperate, thank you very much," Mara said but her voice was
ringing with laughter. She sobered all of a sudden, when she saw Karrde's
serious expression.

"What?" she asked.

"You're afraid, aren't you? You're afraid that you could care too much for
him, but I think you're already past that. If he was just a friend as you
claim," and here Karrde gave her a hard, scrutinizing look. "You would bed him
and leave him. I've seen you do it before, but Skywalker is special to you, and
you are running scared."

Mara stared at her friend and swallowed hard. When did Karrde get so much
insight into my character? she asked herself. When did I allow myself to show
pieces of myself to others? Mara cast her eyes down, staring at her hands and
biting her lips.

Mara quickly bid her goodbye to Karrde and went over to her small bunk room.
Slumping her shoulders, she sat down on her small bed and buried her face in
her hands. She thought back to the numerous times she had teased the Jedi
Knight, had even taunted him with her open sexuality and for the first time
Mara realized why she had done it.

Teasing Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master, had been safe, she thought. Or so I
thought. Damn you Skywalker, why do you have to turn from the comfortably
predictable Jedi to the love-hungry farmboy?

+++

The last two days had been hell. Luke Skywalker felt as if the whole galaxy
was against him. Not only that Leia was breathing down his neck and probing
and prodding about what happened to him and Mara the other night, no, of all
people Han had let slip the little tidbit as well and now his friends from
Rogue Squadron were ribbing him.

Luke groaned. It had been a bad idea for a night's out with the boys, he
thought and stared into his half-filled glass of strong Corellian Whiskey.
Unlike the other times with his friends, he was disgustingly sober and he even
considered using the Force to get him comfortably inebriated but he decided
against it. Watching Wedge and Wes as they both tried to retell their adventures
on Hoth, he noticed Han had refilled his glass.

"You know, kid, you and Mara will bring me a fair share," Han Solo
hiccupped. Luke frowned at his friend and brother in law.

"What do you mean?" Luke swallowed hard when Han winked at him.

"I staked a bet with Lando," Han nodded over to his friend who was drowning
an evil smelling concoction. "He said even Mara Jade's beautiful body
couldn't bring the Jedi Master to forget his monk-like life and fall in love
with
her. I on the other hand," and here Han touched his chest in a melodramatic
way, "I said, that it is only a question of time that the two of you get
together, albeit for a short while."

Luke groaned at that and cursed himself instantly that he had not used the
Force to get him into a stupor. I can't take this anymore, he thought and
shook his head. Why is everyone all of a sudden so eager to get me and Mara
together? Unless ... unless Leia has picked up on our Force-bonding.

He slumped his head, letting go of his barrier for a second and immediately
images of the day when Mara left flooded his mind. Didn't Han comment on
meeting her? Jedi, you are stupid! he berated himself. Leia had probably felt
their conversation, had tuned in to the disturbing images he had shortly before
he had opened the door for them.

If Mara finds out I'm definitely dead!

+++

What Luke Skywalker didn't know was that Mara was finding out this very
minute. Leia, on her quest to get her brother out of his self-acclaimed
monk-like
life, had invited Mara over. She knew that the ex-smuggler would be
suspicious so she had invited her over on the pretense to discuss the treaty
with the
Briem with her.

Now both women sat comfortably in the living area and Leia, scarcely hiding
her impatience, listened to Mara's account on what exactly had happened
during her negotiations with the Briem. When Mara had ended, fully aware that
the
woman opposite her, had been fidgeting all the time, Leia jumped up and went
over to the bar.

"Splendid," she said, using one of her expressions she solely used for her
day to day dealings with the Senate. "Mara, care for a drink?"

For a moment, Mara was confused and her danger sense flared up. She had
expected that Leia would compliment her out of the apartment again, not get
invited by her.

"Water, Leia. But I don't want to keep you. Surely you have things to do,"
Mara said, silently chiding herself for the uncertainty in her voice.

"Oh you aren't keeping me, in fact I'm glad we have a chance to talk, Mara
Jade." Leia replied and walked over to the trader with two glasses in her
hands. "With all the things going on with the Briem and the Senate I never seem
to have time to just kick back and relax." Leia commented and after having
handed Mara her water, she languorously leant back in her chair again and sipped
on her wine.

Mara was certain that the Princess was up to something, she didn't need her
danger sense doing flip-flops to know this. Carefully, she put the glass onto
a small table near her seat and eyed the woman opposite her wearily, her
body screaming in its own language to bolt out of the room.

Leia felt the other woman's discomfort and for a moment she really revelled
in this feeling, before she caught herself. Deviousness is of the dark side,
she reminded herself and shuddered. Focusing her mind back on the woman in
front of her, Leia smiled.

"So, Mara, tell me what you have been up to in the last day or two?"

The delicate hairs in the small of her neck raised and Mara had a hard time
not to jump to her feet and race out of the apartment. Her danger sense
flared up and involuntarily she shuddered at the sugary tone of the Senator.

"I've been around on business for Karrde," Mara said with a dry throat. "I
probably will be off in a day or two to the rim worlds." Forcing herself to
reach out a not too steady hand for her glass of water, Mara tried to remain as
calm and uninterested on the outside as she was fidgety and upset on the
inside.

"I thought you were staying at Luke's," Leia commented, sending out tendrils
of the Force towards the Trader. She could feel the momentary insecurity and
Leia's curiosity piqued and she went in for the kill. "I thought you and
Luke would get along better now, and I'm slightly upset at how you stormed off
the other day ..."

"You are?" Mara asked and shut her mouth with an audible click. Great, she
really has me here on a swing, Mara thought and tried to come up with a
suitable explanation. "You know how excruciating your brother can be, Leia. It
is
always Jedi Lecture this and Jedi lecture that. Besides, I had to stay aboard
the Fire for any incoming calls from Karrde."

"I see," Leia commented and it was obvious to Mara that she didn't. "I hope
you don't mind me asking, Mara Jade, but what exactly is your relationship
with my brother?"

Mara sputtered the water she was drinking all over the carpet. With an
incredulous look she put the glass down and wiped her hands on her flight suit.
Leia was watching her with a predatory smile and waited.

+++

*I hope you don't mind me asking, Mara Jade, but what exactly is your
relationship with my brother?*

Luke sputtered his whiskey all over Wedge who was sitting opposite him when
he heard the firm voice coming to him from the Force. Oh Sithspit, Leia, NO!
Luke groaned and opened his mind more freely to the Force. He could feel his
sister, her signature real bright while Mara's was diffused as if she was
trying to shield herself from him as well as from his sister.

Wedge Antilles wiped his face with the Azure blue handkerchief Lando had
handed him and shot his friend a pained look.

"Hey, boss, thanks. But couldn't you find another way to show your disgust
with the whiskey?" Wedge asked with a grin and watched as Luke sheepishly
cocked his head, still sputtering.

"Sorry, Wedge, must have caught the wrong pipe," he coughed again, busying
himself with wiping up the remains of his whiskey on the table.

*Leia!* he sent out warningly, but sickeningly he felt the grim
determination of his sister as she questioned Mara even more. He also had felt
Mara's
actions mirroring his own, suppressing a grin he tried to touch Mara, sending
her an image of his own demise.
Giving in to the knowledge that he was not able to prevent anything, and
convincing him that he really deserved all what was happening, Luke Skywalker
ordered another round for his friends, determined to get drunk - fast and hard.

+++

Chpater Three - in progress

Hello All,

okay, so here it is - chapter three :) Great thanks to Sherry again for
bouncing off ideas and for the beta reading :) And, of course, for leaving
me in fits of laughter because she couldn't get a giggly, cuddly and drunk
Luke out of her head - Cheers, gal :)

Una

Disclaimer: see first chapter
Summary: Luke's and Mara's friendship has reached a cautious yet strong
level, with Mara bunking at his apartment whenever she is in town. Luke is
slowly coming over the bad experiences with women and he opens up more to
Mara, to the point where he gives in to his hidden urges and attraction to
her and kisses her. Mara is appalled, confused and not too happy to see
everyone but her and Luke trying to get them together - oh and yes, there
are these power exchanges - is the Force also intend on getting them
together? <g>

+++
Chapter Three

"Wh ... what?" Mara Jade managed to get out while she was still coughing.

"I think I asked you a very valid question, didn't I?" Leia said, her eyes
squinted slightly as she leant forward. "You reacted as if Luke had jumped
you .. I don't quite believe that."

Mara swallowed hard, frantically searching her mind. She can be as
relentless as Palpatine was, Mara thought and caught herself avoiding the
other woman's eyes. Damn you Skywalker and your Jedi family! The trader
gritted her teeth, then let out a shaky breath.

"If you excuse me, I really have to go." Mara managed to say with a firm
voice and stood up.

Leia eyed her and chuckled. I had expected another rant like the last time,
or even outright furious denial. Interesting that it isn't either, Leia
said to herself and followed Mara to the main door.

"You know, Mara, you really amaze me in situations like this. We both know
that something happened, something important, especially where my brother
is concerned, and you can remain so calm and aloof," she grinned when Mara
frowned.

"Leia, I'm not the right person to divulge in," Mara hissed through
clenched teeth, trying to get herself under control.

"No?" Leia cocked her head and little by little, she moved forward so that
Mara had to back into the room again, away from the door. Without a doubt
Mara now knew why even the great Jedi Master was afraid of his twin.

"Colour me dumb, Mara. I thought you, beside Luke, were the only other
person to divulge in if I want to discuss the love life of my brother. You
are living with him whenever you two are on Coruscant, so the only
explanation is that you two are an item. People already have started to
comment on this fact and I want to know..."

Lovelife? Living with him? Mara almost screamed. With a firm step forward,
she came face to face with Leia.

"Count yourself lucky, your Highness," Mara spat the word out. "That I'll
chose to ignore your comment. I don't know anything about your brother's
love life and you shouldn't be interested either. As for the living
together, we share the apartment but certainly not his bed. You can trade
this little bit of information with all the rumormongers you seem to
confide in." The Trader took another step forward and in the Force, she
could sense Leia recoiling away from her.

Good, that will teach her a lesson! Mara thought triumphantly, but she had
not counted on the resilience of the twin. Leia could be as stubborn as her
brother, even more so when pushed.

"Mara Jade, I'm impressed and somewhat disappointed. I expected you would
rant with outright denial to have any relationship with my brother," Leia
said and chuckled. "So what is the deal, Mara? What did Luke do that
resulted in the cool, dangerous Ex-Assassin turned Master Trader to escape
his apartment?"

Mara was tempted to strike out at her. Anger overwhelmed her, choking her.
The woman turned rigidly and tried to fill her lungs with air.

"Why is everyone trying to tie the knot on Luke and me?" she asked in a
somewhat weary voice. "We are friends and have worked long and hard to
become that way. Nothing ... happened. It was a misunderstanding, a banter
gone too far ..."

Leia had watched the woman and the waves of sincerity and unguarded
vulnerability coming from her through the Force almost overwhelmed the Senator.

"I'm sorry, Mara. I didn't want to push you. You know how protective I am
where Luke's concerned," Leia said sheepishly, putting a hesitant hand on
the other woman's shoulder, only to have it shrugged away determinedly.

"Don't!" Mara whirled around and faced Leia. "I appreciate your concern,
and if I were in your shoes, I would probably act the same, but we both
don't know what goes on in that Jedi mind of his." She drew in a shuddering
breath, hating herself for displaying her own weakness so openly. "I better
go now. Give my wishes to Han and the kids," she added and quickly departed.

Once outside she quickly sought out a darkened corner and slumped down
against the wall. Sliding down, she drew her knees up to her chest and
buried her head in her hands, asking herself how she got into this mess.

This has to stop, she told herself firmly but nevertheless she felt that
whatever it was had only just started.

+++
Han watched the men at the table with guarded lids but one man in
particular had his full attention. Ever since the little accident with the
Corellian Whiskey, Han had noticed that Luke Skywalker was trying to get
himself out of his mind drunk. I've never seen this kid so determined to
drink himself into a stupor, the Corellian thought to himself and tried to
keep track of the booze, Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master, had already acquired.

"That's your 15th glass, Kid, don't you think that's enough?" Han asked,
when Luke drowned another one of the whiskey.

Luke tried to focus on his friend, but his vision was blurred and all he
could see were two very concerned Han Solos looking at him from afar.

"You ... shaid ... said I should relax," Luke slurred and saluted Han with
his now empty glass. "I'm just doing what I'm told. As always!"

Han's eyes lit up. "As always? When did you ever do what you were told,
kid?" He asked, laughter in his voice.

Luke joined him and grinned. "Yeah, I guess," he said, thinking about his
determination of going after Han and Leia when he had stayed with Yoda on
Dagobah. Dagobah, he mused. Maybe it isn't such a bad idea to get my mind
laundered out on that particular planet. The Force is strong there and I
could meditate without any annoying thoughts. He shrugged and riveted his
mind back to what Han was saying.

"... you know, have 'em and leave 'em. That's all I ever did," Han
commented and grinned into his whiskey. Before Luke could ask what his
friend was talking about Wedge joined in.

"Yeah General Solo, that's why you hooked up with a Princess. Take 'em and
leave 'em, my ass!" Wedge grinned and refilled their glasses with more Whiskey.

Luke listened to the good-natured banter of the two married men, then
silently and unnoticed by both of them slipped away. When he exited the
bar, cold air hit him and he noticed that he had more to drink than was
good for him.

Good thing I only live around the corner, he told himself silently and
staggered into the general direction of his apartments.
+++
After what seemed like hours, Mara stood up, shivering at the sudden cold.
With a groan she stretched, then walked over to the lift. Impatiently, she
waited for it to arrive. Her talk with Leia had disturbed her to no end.
How dare she question my feelings towards Luke? Mara asked herself
furiously. It is none of her business! I should have told her ... Now why
didn't I tell her to mind her own business? The young woman frowned at that.

Her head snapped up when the door to the lift opened with an audible hiss.
Inside, slumped against the far wall, Luke Skywalker was grinning like a
mad Wampa at her.

"Hi, Mar.. Mara," he hiccupped and waved a hand at her. Mara snorted when
she smelled the whiskey, the whole lift was reeking with the strong smell
of the liquor. Sighing, she stepped in, and tried to haul the Jedi Master
to his feet.

"Skywalker, what have you been up to? You stink!" she growled and punched
in the level for his apartment.

Luke grinned and leant heavily on her shoulder, trying to focus on her face
which bobbed up and down in his vision. "Yeah, Mara, ni-ice to see you
too," he said and put a loud smacking kiss onto her cheek. He tried to
anyway, but due to his drunken state he missed his intended target and the
kiss landed on the side of her throat. He nuzzled his nose in her hair and
sighed contently.

"You smell nice, Mar .. Mara," he said and giggled when Mara snorted.

Trust me to have a drunken, giggly Jedi Master on my hands, she thought and
tried to ignore the wandering hands of the Jedi Master in question,
smacking at his hands while trying to keep him in an upright position.

"Luke!" she squeaked when his right hand had snaked around her waist and
was drawing her closer to him.

"I really like you, Mara, I really do," Luke breathed near her ear and
giggled like a girl when he felt Mara shivering beneath him. "You smell so
nice," he repeated, more seriously.

"As you said before, Skywalker," Mara rolled her eyes. Patience is a Jedi's
virtue! she told herself and tried to shift his increasing body weight
slightly. "Come on, Skywalker, this is your level," she said, ready to push
him out of the turbo lift when she turned her head to look at the more than
slightly inebriated Jedi Master. His blue eyes were unusually cloudy but
the boyish grin that was playing on his lips was absolutely irresistible.
Mara groaned and looked ahead only to find Luke's lips on the side of her neck.

"Skywalker," she pressed through clenched teeth as a familiar feeling raged
through her body, slowly pooling in the area of her lower abdomen and
between her legs.

"So ... soft," Luke's voice was a mere whisper as he nibbled on the
sensitive spot of her pulse. Mara almost jumped out of her skin and tried
to jerk her head out of his reach, only to succeed in hitting it against
the wall of the lift.

When had Luke managed to push me into the corner? Mara asked herself, while
her mind grew all mushy from the sensation coursing through her body.

"Skywalker," she whispered, trying to ignore the longing that his body, his
hands and his kisses evoked in her. For a moment she brushed her lips
likewise over his cheek, to nuzzle and lick tentatively around his earlobe.
They both groaned.

"Luke," she breathed, "This is not the time," she pushed him gently away.
For a moment their eyes met, and all desire that she was feeling was
immediately quenched by the vacant look in the Jedi Master's eyes.

Hauling him out of the lift, she carefully made her way towards his
apartment. Shifting the recalcitrant and very drunk Jedi Master against her
shoulder, she punched in his access code and almost shoved him into his
quarters. It was hard to disentangle Luke from her frame as she pulled him
towards his bedroom.

"You have to go to bed," Mara said, when Luke tried to kiss her again,
tightening his arms around her.

"Mara, stay with me," he pleaded. "I'll be a good boy, I be-behave." He
breathed and to Mara he really looked like an innocent boy, if she had not
been so well aware of his evident arousal poking against her hip. He had
cupped her face with his hands and was resting his forehead against her
brow. "Please Mara ..."

Ignoring his plea, Mara let out an exaggerated sigh. They had reached the
edge of the bed, but with the impetus of Luke as he tried to kiss her
again, they were both propelled onto the bed.

"Luke, for Sith's sake!" Mara cursed when she found herself pinned down
beneath the Jedi Master who was sprawled across her, a steel hard grip on
her. She tried to push him off, but any tries on her part only resulted in
Luke holding her tighter. Mara considered using the Force to propel him off
her, but she was afraid that she would hurt him in his inebriated state.
With a sigh, she wiggled a bit underneath him, to make herself more
comfortable and noticed that the drunken Jedi was finally asleep.

"Don't try anything, farmboy or you'll be sorry," she muttered as she
closed her eyes. She probed the Force, but soon discovered Luke Skywalker
was sleeping, deeply. I don't want to be in his shoes tomorrow, Mara
thought to herself and smiled wickedly. His head will kill him, if I won't,
she chuckled to herself at that, but her eyes flew open when she heard the
next murmured words.

"I love you..." Luke mumbled in his sleep and shifted slightly as he rested
his head in the crook of Mara's neck.

Mara held her breath, then let it out softly. Dreaming of Callista, are
you, Skywalker? she taunted herself silently and suppressed a groan.
Willing her tensed muscles to relax, she felt an unfamiliar stinging behind
her closed eyelids. But despite her unforgiving feelings for Skywalker that
he had brought her into this situation, she hugged him closer to herself as
she drifted off to sleep.
+++
Soft light streaked through the wide transparisteel windows, flooding the
bed with a swirling array of gold and white glory. Despite the pounding
headache, Luke Skywalker was acutely aware of two objects poking into his
ribs and while shifting carefully, he tried to get them out of the way.
Fumbling with one hand, he became aware of three things at once: one, he
was fully clothed. Good, so I didn't get myself into trouble last night, he
soothed himself. Two, he was lying on top of another person. This is bad.
And three, his free hand was lovingly caressing the swell of the other
person's breast and red-golden curls were teasing his face. Only one person
had hair like that - Mara Jade.

I'm dead! Luke suppressed a groan and, snatching his hand away from her
covered breast, his head snapped up. Now he groaned out loudly, his head
spinning and the headache increasing. Carefully as not to wake the woman
beneath him, he tried to ease himself off her only to realize their limbs
had become tangled during their sleep. His right arm had encircled her and
was trapped beneath her prone body, while her arms were securely locked
around his neck. Their legs were intimately entangled, his own one thrown
over one of hers and resting comfortably between her thighs.

Squinting against the light, fighting off the needling pain which it
created in his brain, Luke watched her peaceful face. It amazed him that
she looked so young and innocent, her relaxed face not giving away all the
awful things she had to go through in her life. Softly, he raised his hand
and gently brushed stray locks out of her face, marvelling at the softness
of her skin.

He froze suddenly when her brow creased for a second then a soft sigh
escaped her lips and unconsciously, she rubbed her cheek against his
calloused hand. Luke was glad it was his left hand, still too embarrassed
to use his artificial one, even after so many years. Gently he reached out
again, caressing the side of her face, then travelling upwards towards her
nose.

What? Are those freckles I see? he asked himself and chuckled silently.
Carefully as not to wake her, Skywalker let himself being submerged into
the peaceful moment with his best friend. He revelled in the touch, the
soft warm skin beneath his fingertips and his eyes drank in every curve of
her beautiful face. Luke had only once been up so close to Mara but, three
days ago, he had not been in such a calm state to peruse her so openly.

After a while, he grew bolder, caressing not only her face, but left
feather-like touches down on her throat, her neck and part of her
shoulders. He had dreamt about this and yet he marvelled at the novelty of
the whole situation. He grinned to himself when he started to count her
freckles, tiny flecks of gold on her fair skin, and he made a mental note
to tease her about them.

That thought sobered him up completely. How come we're in my bed, together
though fully clothed? he asked himself and frowned. He only had a fuzzy
recollection of the night before. What he could remember was that Mara had
hauled him out of the lift, and that she had scolded him but everything
after that was a total blank to him.

Prying her hands off around his neck, he eased himself carefully off her,
only to realize he didn't want to break the contact with her. Opening both
their belts with the Force, he disposed of the heavy belts and the sabers
attached to them. He shifted a little until he felt comfortable again and
nuzzled his nose in the crook of her neck.

She'll grill me no matter what, so I can at least make it worthwhile. With
that thought he let himself drift back to a light sleep, brushing his lips
over her temple and feeling content and relaxed for the first time in days.

Mara's eyelids fluttered. She had the most extra-ordinary dream. It was
gentle, soft and warm and she felt so safe in these arms - Luke's arms. She
knew that, for the past weeks she had dreamt about him and she was certain
that this time was no difference. Deep down, she had to admit, did she
enjoy the dreams and only there she let her guards down to give in to the
attraction she felt for the Jedi Master. Sighing, she turned into the
embrace, unconsciously seeking the lips that nuzzled at her earlobe only to
jerk away when she felt the now familiar Force exchange surging in and
between their bodies.

"What the ...?" Luke mumbled and bolted upright only to bump his head into
Mara's.

"Skywalker! What are you doing in my bed?" Mara yelled and scrambled to the
edge of the bed.

"I could ask you the same, Jade!" Luke grumbled and tried to disentangle
his legs from hers but he could not do so without getting into her personal
space.

Mara watched him, then took in her surroundings. Yes, he is right, I'm in
his bed, she thought and moved to get out of the bed. They both scrambled,
bumping their heads again, facing each other on their knees. Mara wanted to
retort but the words flew out of her mind, when she saw the sheepish look
on Luke's face. His hair was all mussed up and he looked incredibly sexy.

Think about something else! she told herself sternly, but something tingled
through her, her stomach fluttering. Embarrassed, her gaze self-consciously
riveted back onto the covering.
+++
Present - one standard day from Coruscant

Mara woke up with a start when the astromech droid gave off an alarming
beep. The woman groaned and tried to shake herself off her
reverie.Dismissing the events that had brought her here, she tried to
stand, but slumped back into the pilot's seat.

With blurry eyes, she reached over to the controls, checking them. She felt
as if her whole body was on fire, sweat beading on her forehead and upper
lip. With a groan she stood up and made her way to the fresher, running
water into the small basin while cooling her face and neck with water. Her
left shoulder was throbbing again and her complete arm was bluish and swollen.

Great, just what I need, Mara thought and leant heavily against the door to
her bunk room. Trying to rip open the cover of the bacta pack, she winced
when pain shot through her arm and into her shoulder and back.

Biting her lips, she leant back against the fresher stall and let the pain
surge through her body. When it subsided, she cautiously slipped the light
robe off her arm and shoulder and replaced the old bacta pack with the new.
Using her fingers and teeth, she tucked it in place, then slumped against
the wall again, exhausted.

I have to get to a med unit soon, she thought and slowly, all too
painfully, she made her way back to the cockpit of her craft. Feeling that
the influence of the Ysalamiri essence was wearing off, she tried to
quickly grab the injector lying a few feet away from her on the stand by
console but she tripped and bumped into the bulkhead when she swayed. With
a cry Mara Jade fell to her knees, and, clutching her shoulder, her agony
wavered through the Force.
+++
Luke was sitting in the Solo's comfortable living quarters when he felt the
painful cry surging through the Force. The young Jedi froze for a moment
before he quickly scramble to his feet and made his way to the balcony with
its open doors.

"Mara!" he said loudly and searched the skies above Coruscant. Leia and
Han, who had been sitting and chatting with Luke for the past hour or so,
exchanged a puzzled look with each other before they joined Luke on the
balcony.

"Luke, what is it?" Leia asked and put a soothing hand on his arm. Luke
ripped his gaze off the sky and looked down on his twin sister.

"I felt her. She is in great pain." he replied and tried to suppress the
agony and pain reverberating in the Force. "She will be here soon, I can
..." he broke off. Stretching out to the Force he searched it for the
brilliant light that was once Mara Jade. Luke was appalled when he found
only a shadow of her former strength. Slowly, he tried to grasp the weak
threads that once had formed Mara Jade only to feel a sense of loss and
pain coming from her.

*Mara, let me help you,* he sent to her, but he felt only a soft, almost
ungraspable flicker where Mara had been. Closing his eyes, he set forth,
shivering under the repercussion of her pain, letting it flow freely,
unrestricted through him as he reached her.
+++
*MARA!* Luke's voice reverberated in her mind and for a moment Mara Jade
was tempted to let herself be enveloped into the warm grasp of the Jedi Master.

"Luke," she whispered softly, his name both a curse and a benediction on
her lips. Her eyes snapped open and with great effort, she hauled herself
into a crouching position. She slowly made it over to the console, the
injector lying within reach of her hand. Slamming down barrier after
barrier to Luke Skywalker in her mind, she reached forward.

"No more, Skywalker. I won't have another voice telling me what to do ..."
She snatched the injector from the console top and almost viciously she
slammed it against the side of her throat. Within seconds the Ysalamiri
raged through her illness stricken body and her mind shut down, its link
severed to the Force once more.
+++
Luke slumped against the banister of the balcony, when his link to Mara was
severed so abruptly. He felt himself cradled in someone's arm, and through
the numbed stillness of his mind, he could feel the tendrils sent forth
from his sister.

"Sith, Mara, what have you done?" he forced out of dried-up lips and shuddered.

"Luke?" Leia asked. *Is everything alright?*

Luke shook his head then straightened. "It is Mara, she ... she was there
.. but now it seems as if she is dead," he breathed softly, trying to
understand what he just had witnessed.

I could feel her determination. it was as if she willed the bond to be
broken, he thought and shivered. Mara, what have we done?
+++

To Be Continued

Hello All,

as you can see I have finally made up my mind, how many parts the story will
have :) So here is chapter four of eight :)

Okay, lessee ... Disclaimer: they are definitely not mine but belong to
George and Tim
Summary: After Luke has experienced pain coming from Mara through the force,
he is asking himself what happened that brought them into the situation. He
remininsces on his own ...
Warning: No giggly, cuddly, drunk Luke in there this time :(

Oh and this time it is really NC17 :)
Una

Chapter Four
Coruscant Present Time

Luke let himself into his deserted apartment and just stood inside it while
the door behind him shut with an audible hiss. Taking in his surroundings, a
feeling of desertion and loneliness washed over him. It was almost palpable
and overwhelming. For the last part of the standard year, his apartment here
at Coruscant had become a home, not because he had spend more time here than
on Yavin 4, but because this apartment had been shared with Mara.

On a cursory glance, no one could have known that the Jedi Master had shared
it with her, but at second glance he knew that there had been signs of a
woman's touch here and there. Her blasters that she would leave by the door on a
small table, her saber lying side by side with his own. Then there were the
toiletries she had put into the refresher alongside his. Small changes here
and there, but nevertheless made all the difference to Luke, differences that
had made his solitary apartment a home away from home.

Thinking about the toiletries, Luke chuckled to himself. He could still
remember the day he had used her shampoo by mistake. For the remainder of the
day
he had smelled of the shampoo, constantly taunting his senses of Mara's
scent that was so uniquely her own. Luke smiled to himself at the memory.

Wandering through the living quarters, Skywalker came upon the door to her
deserted room. Opening it softly, he stepped inside, a sense of loss washing
over him, as he took in the empty shelves, the neatly made up bed. It was the
first time in ten weeks that Luke had entered the room, had entered her
private space. The shelves and the cupboards were empty, only a bright water
colour hanging above her bed, displaying the two flaming suns of Tatooine
setting
upon the sands. Luke remembered vividly the day when they had come upon the
painting. They had met by chance in one of the malls, then had browsed through
the shops until they had come upon a small dealer of arts. There, Mara had
found the painting and on impulse had bought it.

Tearing his gaze off the painting, he resumed his walk through his apartment
and came upon his bedroom. The crumpled linens on his bed seemed to taunt
him as he walked over and sat down on the foot of his bed. He squeezed his eyes
shut for a moment before he laid back on the bed.

Memories came, unbidden and suddenly. His mind was riveted back to the days
before Mara had left his life for the last time. He still could kick himself
that he had given in to the powerful urges the dreams had awakened him. But
he was just a man, a regular guy, not the holy Jedi Master every one but Mara
wanted him to be.

Any red-blooded man would have acted on the powerful images the dreams sent
me, he thought and inhaled deeply. As if in pain he drew himself up on his
side and curled into a fetal position. Thinking about Mara brought back the
pain he had experienced only a few hours ago. He still could not believe that
Mara would have done something like this on purpose, he knew deep down that she
would never intentionally hurt him, not after what they had shared and were
still sharing.

I want Mara. It is as simple as that. After all that has happened to me I
never thought about falling in love again, let alone wanting to make love to a
woman ... and yet ..., Luke closed his eyes. And yet, it is Mara I crave for.
Beautiful, smart and deadly Mara.

He remembered the morning when he had found himself in bed with Mara after
one of his rare drunken bouts with his friends. There had been an awkward
moment when they had woken in this very bed and it had been hard not to act upon
the one thing that had preoccupied his mind lately.

She had looked so beautiful when he had watched her sleeping and her
outright indignation when she had woken and finding herself in bed with him. She
had
looked even more beautiful with her flashing emerald eyes. Luke had wanted
to kiss her then, he had wanted to kiss away the frown and the sudden shyness
that had overcome them both, but she had taken matters into her own hands
again ...
+++
Ten Weeks Earlier
Without a second glance, Mara scrambled to her feet and almost tripped over
her belt, that lay discarded in front of the bed. She had to get out of
there, otherwise it would be only too easy to just grab the deliciously sexy
looking man also known as Jedi Master Skywalker and make love to him till
kingdom
come.

"Mara, stay!" Luke said and set out after her, cursing when he, too, tripped
over his own belt. *Mara!* he sent her through the Force, momentarily
stopping her.

"Leave me alone, Skywalker," Mara growled and had reached the front door,
angrily punching in the access code to open the door.

Luke covered her hand with his own from behind and stilled it. His breath
came ragged and he tried to force more gulps of air into his lungs. His body
touched hers and both were acutely aware of that.

"Mara, running away will not solve anything!" he breathed, his breath
fanning part of her neck and her ear.

"I'm not running away, Skywalker. I have business to attend to," Mara
stubbornly replied and snatched her hand away from his grasp. "Open up that
door,
Skywalker, or I'll cut it down with my saber!" She turned sideways to push him
away and glared at him over her shoulder.

Something snapped inside Luke, anger, frustration and love for this woman
all came to the surface, momentarily blinding the young Jedi's mind. He whirled
her around and pinned her against the door with his own body.

"I think, Mara Jade," he spat out viciously, "You and I have business to
attend to here!" Placing his hands on either side of her head, he leant into
her, invading her private space intentionally. "What are you afraid of, Mara?"
he inquired softly. "It's not like you to run away. What ever it is that is
between us has to be solved. We can't continue ignoring it! It will eat away at
us, and I don't want to ..." he stopped himself and turned the words over in
his head. I don't want to lose you, Mara.

"I'm not running away, Skywalker!" she spat out, and before she knew what
was happening, her saber was in her hands and the blade was only an inch away
from his face. "Let me go, or you will pay for it, Jedi!"

"Mara ..." Luke whispered and to Mara it sounded both like warning and
endearment and to her utter surprise the Jedi Master pushed forward. Either she
took away the blade or she would cut him and frankly, she couldn't bring her to
cut his throat, could she?

*Do it, Mara,* Luke's voice in her mind taunted her. *Do yourself a favour
and rid yourself of the stupid farmboy and Jedi.* Mara gritted her teeth, then
with a quick snap of her hand, she killed the blade and threw the saber onto
the floor.

"You son of a Sith!" Luke was not surprised that she actually struck out at
him, he should have seen it coming, but he didn't. He was momentarily
stunned, when her fist connected with his solar plexus. Only his own trained
sense
kept him from buckling over and he caught her hands with his own. She
struggled and tried to trip him with her legs, but it only resulted in her being
pinned down with his body more securely, her hands nailed against the steel of
the door behind her above her head.

"Now will you see reason and listen?" Luke snapped, cautiously drawing in
his breath. She still knows where it hurts most, he told himself and tried to
catch his breath.

"This is madness, Skywalker. We are friends ... friends don't," she bit her
lips and shook her head.

"Friends don't what? Kiss? Dream about how it is to make love to one another
each night?" Skywalker relentlessly inquired.

"I don't dre-," Mara shut her mouth. She could not bring herself to deny it,
the dream she had only a few minutes ago too fresh in her mind. "I don't
know what got into you, Skywalker. Now let me GO!"

Luke felt the doubt coming from her through the Force. He felt that she
tried to hide her feelings from him, tried to force up barriers between them.

Now or never, Luke, he told himself. Slowly, he bent his head until he was
only inches away from her lips. He knew he was walking on thin ice here, but
he was sick of ignoring the dreams, what ever or who ever had sent them.

"So we continue to ignore what is between us, Mara?" he asked, his voice
heavy with emotion, sending shivers down her spine.

"Yes," she whispered, mesmerized by his soft, sexy voice. "There is nothing
between us."

"Can you ignore ...this?" It was only a light brush of lips against lips but
it sent a jolt of passion through both of them. "Or this?" He deepened the
kiss, urging her to participate as his tongue flicked over the corners of her
lips.

Mara groaned and relented. She opened her lips to eagerly greet his tongue
inside her warm mouth. Lips nipped and sucked as their lips participated in a
love making ritual of their own. The Force mingled with them, intertwining
with the two lovers as they kissed each other hungrily, fanning the fires of
passion inside them.

*I will kill you for this, Skywalker,* Mara sent to him through the Force
when she drew Luke towards her. She needed his touch, desired the warmth his
body emanated and wanted to hug him to herself as close as possible.

*Do you always kiss those you want to kill, Mara? Luke's voice teased her as
he ran his hands alongside her ribs, caressing, discovering her.

*Don't push your luck, Farmboy!* Mara's hands had found their way up to his
chest, frantically opening the robe and pulling on the shirt until she came
upon warm, soft skin. She sighed softly into Luke's mouth, drawing him even
closer till their bodies seemed to melt into each other.

"Mara ..." Luke whispered as he trailed soft kisses along her jaw line, up
to her earlobe and then down on the side of her neck, sucking and flicking
over the soft spot where her pulse was racing, increasing the already hard
drumming of her blood through her veins. Gently at first and then with
increasing
passion he sucked on the spot, dragging the soft flesh with his teeth as he
drank from her like she was the best wine.
He felt intoxicated by her whole being, her scent, her body, her mind. He
was drunk again though this time, he was inebriated by this wonderful woman not
just liquor. Luke helped her when she tried to slip the robe off his
shoulders and he likewise tried to slip the heavy pilot jacket she was still
wearing
off her slender shoulders.

Slowly, as not to scare her, he opened the zipper of her flight suit, easing
it off her shoulders in one smooth motion of his hands. He grinned when he
found that Mara did not wear any underwear underneath.

"So soft," he whispered against her ear, rubbing his nose along her cheek
and hair while his hands roamed her slender shoulders and back. Enjoying the
sensation of soft, bare skin against his palms and fingertips.

Mara pulled him closer and shuddered when she felt his hands massaging the
small of her back and pushing her flight suit further down. Only at the edge
of her perception she was aware that she was almost fully naked whereas he was
still in his tank top, trousers and boots. She quickly snaked her hands
beneath the soft material of the top and slipped it over his head, discarding it
onto the floor.

The woman groaned when Luke cupped her behind and pulled her close, his
erection almost burning away the last garments between them. She struggled with
her boots, eager not to lose contact with his caresses or his mouth on her
lips. Mara sighed softly when she felt Luke using the Force to undo her boots,
slipping them off gently as he tucked at her trousers.

"Luke," she whispered softly, her voice full of passion. "You ...your..."
she broke off as all coherent thought flew her mind. In one swift motion,
Skywalker had hoisted her up, first running his hands over one slender leg
before
gently putting it around his waist, then he did the same with the other,
pinning her between the door and his body.

"I need you, Mara," Luke whispered, and to emphasize his words he pushed
himself gently against her covered feminity. Mara's lips curved upward.

"I can feel that, Skywalker," she retorted tartly and rubbed herself against
his rock-hard erection. She suddenly felt his hesitation and with a raised
eyebrow, she sent him: *Having second thoughts?* while her tongue delved
deeply into his soft mouth, plundering it with kisses.

*I was thinking, bed or sofa,* Luke was quick to reply and for a moment, it
surprised them both, then Mara grinned wickedly.

*The table, it's nearer,* Mara replied just as quickly, indicating with a
nod of her head the nearby table, where Luke normally put his light saber.

Before she could take another breath, Luke had whirled her around, bridging
the few steps to the table, and with an impatient sweep of his hand he
cleared the table before he sat Mara onto it.

"Perfect," Luke said when he locked his eyes with hers. With growing passion
he cupped her breasts, squeezing them. Mara exhaled softly as she watched
Luke bending his head and first rubbing his nose against one rosy tip, then
licking and sucking it into a tight erect tip. Tousling his hair she arched her
back, resting her head against the wall behind her.

*I need you*, Mara sent him through the Force and caressed his growing
erection. With nimble fingers she opened the top button and zipper, a feeling of
joy, passion and fear mingling in her.

They were so intent on each other that they didn't hear the buzzing sound
>from the door, both too wrapped up in each other and their makeshift
lovemaking.

*Luke?* Leia's voice reverberated through Luke's mind and his eyes flew
open. *Luke, I know you are there, what are you doing behind the door?*

Throwing up barriers against his sister, Skywalker leant his head against
Mara's forehead and both gulped fresh air into their lungs.

"Did she sense us?" Mara whispered and Luke shook his head.

"I think she could hear us through the door, I was shielding us quite well
... I hope," Luke replied with a sheepish grin. "I better open that door
before she gets too suspicious," he said and with a quick last kiss, he
straightened and brushed some abandoned locks out of her face.

*Oh Mara, you look so delicious* Luke sent her as he lovingly caressed her
breasts as if to say good-bye, albeit temporarily. *I won't let her in.*

*Don't you dare, she will be breathing down your neck for the rest of the
day, farm boy.* Mara helped him pulling on his trousers again and gave him one
lingering last kiss. Gathering her clothes off the ground, Mara moved away
from him, but was stopped and spun around by Luke. Kissing her deeply, he send
her images of what he intended to do with her when they were alone again, the
Trader groaned.

*Luke!* Mara scolded him silently and he flashed her a smile. Watching her
move away from him, he said huskily: "Nice backside, Mara!"

He chuckled at her snort and inhaled deeply as he stepped in front of the
door. Forcing his body to calm down and slowly punched in the access code,
taking the time to calm his erection and his complete body. Slowly, the door
opened, revealing Luke's doom in form of Leia Organa Solo.

"Luke, what in Sith' name did you do behind..." Leia raised an eyebrow and
crossed her arms across her chest when she saw her brother's dishevelled
state.

Stepping slightly forward, he mirrored her stance and crossed his arms over
his bare chest, leaning against the door frame in a seemingly relaxed
fashion. Keeping the barriers up towards his sister, he felt Mara moving deeper
into
the living quarters behind him.

"Leia, good morning to you," Luke said, eyeing his twin closely. Leia
harumphed at that.

"Good morning? It is mid day!" She said and watched her brother closely.
"What took you so long, Luke? I could hear you behind the door." Leia's sense of
danger flared up when she caught movement behind her brother and she stepped
closer towards the door. Blocking her view, Luke stepped into her way.

"It was late last night and my brain is still a bit fuddled, Leia. I
couldn't remember the door code," Luke lied glibly and frowned when he heard
Mara's
voice taunting him with *Jedi omit but do not lie*, a saying he had lectured
her with innumerous times.

Biting down on the chuckle, he focused his attention back to his sister.

"Han told me you left early and I thought you wanted someone to talk to ..."
Leia said and tried not too openly to take a look behind Luke. All she could
see was his Jedi robe lying discarded on the floor, and other different bits
and pieces of clothing as well as what seemed like Luke's light saber, as in
Luke's OLD light saber.

Her look riveted back to Luke, and while her brain tried to register the
information, her look caught on a suspiciously long, golden-red curl clinging to
his chest.

Well, well, well, Leia thought and arched a dark eyebrow.

"You wouldn't by any chance have some of the blue milk? Han has taken a
liking to it and he wanted some," she smiled sweetly and Luke's danger sense
flared up.

"Leia, Han hates Tatooine milk!" Luke replied firmly. He sighed when he saw
the determination on her face and in the Force. "No, Leia, you won't come in.
I'm fine, just a had a bit too much to drink last night."

"You didn't by any chance run into someone last night and ... and did
something stupid, like, say, spending the night with her?" Leia asked, locking
her
eyes with her brother's.

Luke was momentarily shocked then tried to rid himself of the stupor.
Forcing his mouth to open he inquired: "And who should this someone be?" The
moment
he asked, he knew he had been baited. Damn you, Leia, I always fall for your
little ploys! he thought.

Slowly, Leia reached out and snatched the long hair off his bare chest,
holding it up for Luke to see.

"I think we should talk, NOW!"
+++
Mara, who had listened in to their conversation by the door, frantically
pulled on her flight suit again. When she had dressed, the only thing missing
was her light saber, and when she opened her senses she found it lying in front
of the door. Cursing silently, she decided to leave it and was about to get
into her room, when she was stopped by a mental image Luke sent her.

Sith' spawn! she thought when she recognized the hair and she silently moved
towards his bed room. Closing the door firmly behind her, she walked over to
the balcony and looked down.

*Mara, what are you up to?* Luke's voice asked. With an exasperated sigh,
Mara closed her eyes for a short moment.

*Doing us both a favour and getting out of here, Farmboy.* she sent him as
one slender leg moved over the banister of the balcony. *I'll be on the Jade's
Fire.* Clinging to the ornaments of the balcony, she swung herself to the
next balcony a level down from Luke's.
+++
Luke sighed and when he was certain, Mara had made it safely to the balcony
beneath, stepped aside and let his sister in. Leia quickly moved through his
living quarters, when she came upon his bed room door, she was stopped by
Luke's voice.

"You won't find anyone in there, Leia, so you can drop your Stormtrooper
routine," Luke said, quenching the anger that tried to surge to the surface.
Jedi calm, he thought and went over to the small kitchen where he poured himself
a glass of water.

Leia had followed him into the kitchen and watched her brother. Although he
looked calm on the outside, she could sense the controlled anger emanating
from him. She had never seen him so cross with her since the last time they had
a talk.

"Luke, I don't want you to be hurt again," Leia opened their conversation,
only to receive an uncharacteristic snort from her brother. Shaking her head,
the Senator proceeded. "Mara Jade was the Emperor's Hand, and even now her
doings are as shady as ever. She might call herself Trader now, but deep down
she is still a smuggler. Do you think the public will react kindly to the
information that the only living Jedi Master has chosen her as his bed mate?
People will talk, and they will make nasty comments..."

"Great coming from you, Leia. If my memory serves me right your husband is
an ex-smuggler and Han has given up on his little endeavors. Give Mara a bit
more credit." Luke replied.

Leia shook her head and sat down at the table.

"I know that people can change, Han is a shining example to this, but I have
my doubts about Mara. For years she was intend on killing you, for Sith'
sake. I find it hard to believe that she could lo-," Leia snapped her mouth shut
and studied her hands meticulously.

"Love me? Is that it?" Luke inquired and leant across the table to study his
sister. "Leia, I don't know how Mara feels about me, and I'm not going to
ask her. If she wants to spend quality time with me, I'd be happy. But I'm not
going to push it, not after what happened with Callista."

"Don't you see, Luke, this is what it really is about. Callista loved you
and she left without giving an explanation. You were devastated afterwards and
Han and I as well as your friends feared for your well-being." Leia shook her
head when she sensed Luke wanting to interrupt. "No, I will speak my mind!"
Calming herself she continued. "You are the only living Jedi Master, don't
you think that you owe the public to chose a wife that is worthy of you? Mara
Jade is not the right person, she is incapable of love and I doubt the public
will accept her as your mate. Don't you think that there aren't rumours
already flying around that say that she moved on from being the Sith' Whore to
the
Jedi Whore?"

Luke gaped at her. "What?" he inquired hoarsely, his anger barely contained.

"I'm sorry, Luke, but that is what people say and if your relationship will
go public it will be all over Coruscant in no time. I want to protect you
..."

"That's Sith' spit and you know that, Leia!" Luke yelled and pushed himself
off the table. "I don't owe the public anything. In fact, they owe me quite a
lot and who ever I chose to be my wife it will be my choice and not theirs,
or yours for that matter, sister," his eyes bored right through her. "This is
something you don't understand, Leia. Yes, I'm the only living Jedi Master
in this galaxy, and yes, Jedi have been a shining example of humility and
morale in the past. But I'm also a man, a living being. I'm not the holy man,
you
and everyone else want make me out to be. Don't you think I'm sick of being
Jedi Master treated here and there? I gave up everything to rid the galaxy of
the influence of the Sith Lords. It cost me more than you will ever
understand or even willing to give, so you don't have the right to tell whom I
love."
He spun away from her and closed his eyes, trying to fight back the memories
of the torture and rape he had experienced at the hands of the dark side of
the Force, things he had endured for the greater good of the New Republic.
Calming himself before he continued.

"Callista was in the past, I was too young and inexperienced to see that she
only saw the powerful Jedi Master in me who had the powers she wanted to
possess and lost," his shoulders slumped and he drew in a shuddering breath. "Do
you know what is ironic? Mara actually warned me about Callista. She once
stopped over at Yavin and she took one look at her and told me in not so many
words what she thought about Cal, that she would use me and only saw the
Master but not the man behind the Jedi robes. I was so mad at her that we didn't
speak for almost a standard year and by then Callista had left me," he turned
around to face his sister again. Luke could see that she had tears in her
eyes but despite the hurt he felt coming from her through the Force he could not
bring himself to comfort his twin.

"Mara has done a lot of things in the past that she is not proud of, but she
was always honest with me. She treats me like an equal, she knows of the
doubt and burden that come with the Force and I know she will never take
advantage of me because I'm the Jedi Master," Luke stopped and inhaled deeply,
trying to make sense of the feelings for the beautiful Ex-Assassin.

"Mara and I share a friendship and a bond through the Force which are dear
to me. I've never experienced any thing like it before, when we are on a
mission together I know I can trust her with my life and she can do likewise. I
... love her for what she was and for what she has become and I love her for
the way she sees me. I have enough lackeys who bestow their honour on me with
pretense and fear," He nodded when Leia gave a yelp of protest.

"No Leia, I know most people are afraid of me. I might be their hero who led
the rebellion to victory, but they also fear me. They fear what I might be
capable of and of what might have become if I had relented to the dark side.
This is the whole point, seeing the Emperor's Hand and Vader's son together,
they are reminded of that Force strong persons are capable of."

Luke felt drained after his speech and he slumped down on the chair opposite
his sister. He knew that he loved Mara Jade, so much was clear to him. But
he had his doubts that his twin and his friends would see his reasons and also
understand the depth of his emotions for the beautiful Mara Jade.

"So you are intend on destroying everything you have earned?" Leia asked,
suppressing the shudder of fear in her voice. "You know that the Academy will
suffer severely if word gets out that you want to marry Mara."

"I told you, Leia, that I don't know how Mara feels about me and I don't
intend to marry her unless she wants me," Luke replied calmly. "I know I can't
have it all and I'll be happy with whatever Mara can give me."

Leia's eyes widened. Suddenly, she saw her brother with different eyes.
There was a strength surrounding him she had never felt before. In her eyes, he
had always been the innocent 18 year old boy from Tatooine who had rescued her
and had then all of a sudden become a hero. She had never actually bothered
to see her brother what he was now, a seasoned warrior who had seen enough
atrocities to last a lifetime and beyond. A man who was capable of great love
but had his love always thrown back into his face time again and again.

Suppressing a sob, she hid her face behind her hands. It was all so unfair,
she thought. All Luke ever wanted was to love and be loved and not respected
for what he did.

"I'm sorry, Luke," she whispered and she felt strong arms around her
suddenly. Drawing comfort from the fact, that Luke held her tight to himself,
she
wept. She wept for him, his loss of love and the loss of innocence.
+++
TBC

Hello All,

chapter five - this time it was a labour of love as I had to change things
as not to appear placating some of the wonderful fics on this list. A huge
big thank you to Sherry, who with her infinitive patience let me bounce off
ideas and listened to my rants about writer's block. The story is becoming
as much as yours as it is mine :)

Okies, enough from me - enjoy, rant, review to your hearts' desire :)
<i></i> are meant to be Italics as in thoughts.
Una

Disclaimer: see first chapter
Summary: After their almost lovemaking Luke and Mara do some soul searching
and of course someone cannot stop meddling.

Chapter Five

Mara Jade had crossed the city in record time. After the passion had faded
from her mind and her body, she was capable of thinking straight again.
Blindly she moved through the city, her Force sense helping more than once
in avoiding speeders and other passersby, before bumping into them.
<i>You are the most irresponsible woman in the galaxy!</i> Mara berated
herself as she swiftly avoided a merchant on the walkway. <i>Mara Jade, you
are a fool. You almost got laid by Luke Skywalker!!!</i> she closed her
eyes for a second. <i>Of all men, I have to get almost horizontal with the
Jedi</i>, she snorted at that and moved forward, her eyes fixed onto the
sign of the spaceport authorities looming in front of her. Ignoring the
guards at the entrance, she marched straight into the general direction of
her ship. She didn't notice Talon Karrde standing at the hatch of the
<i>Jade's Fire</i> as she brushed past him.

"Damn you, Skywalker," she muttered underneath her breath but Karrde heard
it nevertheless.

"That Jedi of yours getting you into a huff seems to be becoming a habit,
Mara. What did he do to get you all worked up like that?" He asked by way
of greeting and caught his breath when Mara whirled around, blaster in
hand, ready to pounce on her supposed attacker.

"Talon!" she exclaimed and as quickly as the blaster had appeared in her
hands, she secreted it inside her sleeve again.
"Skywalker is not <i>MY</i> Jedi!" Mara retorted and jumped up the hatch as
it slowly descended. "Anyway, Karrde, what are you doing here? You are
supposed to be on Bespin, meeting with other traders at Cloud City."

"I came early, as I had a hunch that my number one would neglect her
duties," Talon chuckled when he heard Mara's snort. He sat down in the
pilot's chair and took in his surroundings. "You bunking here again?" he
asked and Mara's head appeared from behind the refresher door.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she shot back.

Talon shrugged indifferently and swiveled around on the chair. "Just a
simple question, Jade, no need to jump down my throat. Though in the light
of that hickey you are sporting on your neck, the important question is
<i>why</i> you are bunking here ..." Talon watched as Mara's head
disappeared quickly inside the fresher. He could picture the redhead gazing
into the mirror and when he heard another barrage of swear words and gasps
all directed at a certain Jedi, he chuckled. "Not her Jedi, my ass!" he
grinned.

<i>This is it. This time he's dead meat. Dead Jedi Meat, that is!</i> Mara
swore beneath her breath and tried to rub the love bite away. She flinched
at the soreness of the skin and she leant her brow against the cool mirror.
<i>How did I get into this mess?</i> she asked herself, only to be taunted
by images of Skywalker's lips on the very spot where the love bite was.
Groaning, she tried to dismiss the images.

After she had taken a sonic shower, she felt better. Then Mara dressed into
a black, high collared flight suit, she met Karrde out in the cockpit. The
ex-smuggler grinned when he saw the high necked top. It was summer time and
he was sure by the time Mara left the air-conditioned <i>Fire</i> she would
be sweating.

Mara stood in front of him, as if she was waiting for something. Raising an
eyebrow, Karrde first stared at her, then scrambled quickly to his feet and
vacated the pilot's chair. Settling himself on the other seat, he grinned
apologetically.

"Did you forget we were supposed to meet here?" Talon Karrde asked by way
of distracting her of his blunder. "We wanted to celebrate the commerce
treaty with the Briem, if you are successful. Word is out you were highly
successful," he grinned.

"Yes," Mara replied and tossed several data pads into his hands. "The Briem
not only agreed to the commerce treaty but also in joining the NR. Senator
Organa Solo was very pleased..."

"How is the old war horse? Is she still meddling with her brother's life?"
Talon chuckled when he saw Mara's sulky pout. "Let me guess that's why you
are bunking here instead of at Skywalker's, right? Did the little Princess
object and give out all the Sith shit she hears from her so called well
meaning friends?"

"What?" Mara asked, a frown forming between her brows.

"Ah... Jade, you know. Former Emperor's Hand and now Skywalker's ..." Talon
quickly shut his mouth.

"Skywalker's what?" she asked, but when she saw Talon's sheepish grin, she
shook her head and jumped to her feet. "I can't believe it, is everyone
only interested in who screws who here in Coruscant?" With a sigh she threw
her hands up. "Even if it were true, that Luke and I ... I mean, if
Skywalker and I had this kind of relationship, it shouldn't be daily talk
in the city."

Talon chuckled at that and watched Mara pacing back and forth. "Well, with
the Sith lords and the Empire defended, people don't have much to talk
about. And with you and Skywalker such shining public personalities they
talk ..."

Mara snorted at that. "They should keep their dirty thoughts to
themselves," she whirled around and pinned Karrde with a look to his seat.
"So when did this Bantha shit all start?" she asked.

"Rumours of you and the Jedi being more than friends?" Talon asked and Mara
nodded. "Well, rumours have been around for quite a while. Rumours, I might
add, that were fanned when you moved into his quarters. Ever since then
they are only waiting for the public announcement ..."

"Announcement? About what?" Mara asked, but paled when comprehension dawned
on her. "I don't believe it. This is really ridiculous! As if I would marry
a Jedi!"

She laughed a bit forced but Talon only raised an eyebrow at that as he
watched her almost buckling over with laughter. <i>Mara, you really need to
talk to psych-droid,</i> he thought. <i>I've never seen someone as intent
on not getting what she wants like you</i>. Knowing full well, he would
never dare to tell her that in her face.
+++
Leia had made it just barely back to her apartment and when she let herself
in, she found her husband sitting on the couch. Leia's heart opened to Han
Solo, former smuggler and renegade, when she watched him as he went through
a couple of data pads. For a moment she counted her blessings that she had
given in to the attraction she had felt for the handsome man, and that
despite the wagging tongues of the New Republic dignitaries they had married.

Closing her eyes, Leia suppressed a shudder. <i>Isn't this what it is all
about?</i> she asked herself. <i>Isn't this what Luke wants? A family, a
loved one, kids?</i> She must have made a noise because when she opened her
eyes again, Han was standing in front of her, cocking his head slightly and
searched her face questioningly.

"What is it, wife of mine?" He asked softly and was taken off guard when
Leia threw her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Returning the
desperate kiss, he groaned and slung his arms around her tiny waist and
lifted her off her feet.

When they broke away from each other they were both breathless and Han's
face showed the sign of a definite smirk. "Care to tell me, what that
brought on?" he asked teasingly and Leia borrowed her face in the crook of
his neck.

"I'm just glad that I married you," she whispered and hugged him close.

"Now wait a minute, I married you," Han retorted which brought a giggle
from his wife. <i>Oh Gods, how much I love this man</i>, Leia thought and
kissed him soundly again.

"Let's say it's a draw," she said after a while and cupped his face in
her hands. "I'm the luckiest woman alive to have married you, General Han
Solo."

Han Solo searched his wife's beautiful face and for the first time he saw
the apparent signs of dried tears on her cheeks. Carefully, he extracted
one arm from her waist and put it beneath her knees, lifting her up in his
arms. When he had settled down on the couch again with his precious burden
in his lap, he caressed her cheek and temple.

"What happened, Leia?" he asked softly, knowing full well that something
must have happened. "Did you quarrel with your brother again?"

"No nothing like this, Han," Leia said quietly and studied her hands. "He
was not alone when I went over. He ... he is so alone, Han, I can't bear it
..."

Solo frowned at that. <i>How can the kid be alone and not be alone?</i> he
asked himself silently. Heaving a sigh, he raised her chin to look into her
eyes.

"Leia, my heart, tell me what happened," he ordered softly. "How come Luke
wasn't alone and yet he was?"

After Leia had told her husband what had transpired between her and her
brother, they sat in silence for a long time. Both trying to register all
they had heard.

"I'll be damned," Han exclaimed and hugged his wife. "Do you know what that
means? I was right all along and Karrde and Lando are owing me a great share!"

"Oh Han Solo, you are the most insensitive man in the galaxy!" Leia
exclaimed and tried to rush to her feet, but her husband drew her back onto
his lap.

"And you love me, your Highness," he retorted softly. With a chuckle he
stroked some errant locks out of her face. "Do you know what this means?
The kid gets hitched up at last. Not that I really absolve his choice but
setting everything aside, it was not so impossible that he would chose
someone like Mara," he shook his head when he felt his wife wanted to
interrupt. "Think about it, Leia. They are both Force-strong persons, I
even think that with the right training Mara could rival Luke's strength in
the Force. They are a perfect match come to think of it. I have seen them
at work as a team. They are awesome, it is as if they are one-mind, one
body, when they fight."

"But Mara Jade? She wanted to kill him ..."

"But she didn't, Leia. And if I might remind you, you wanted to have my
hide more than once during the rebellion," he chuckled at that, remembering
their quarrels.

"That was different I loved you ..." Leia shut her mouth when Solo threw
her an incredulous look which said <i>See what I mean?</i>. "Do you think
she loves him, Han?"

Han heaved a deep sigh. "No one but Mara Jade can answer to that question,
honey. But despite all the things you can say about Mara Jade, she is a
person with a deep sense of honour and she chooses her bed companions
carefully. Those who have boasted to have met Jade in a more intimate way
have later refrained their words. I think I don't know any man who actually
had any sexual relations with her. And even if it's just a sex thing, it
will help Luke to loosen up and if he is happy, then so should you."

Leia nodded to that but she just couldn't stop worrying about the well
being of her twin.

"I just don't want him hurt, Han, my love. He has gone through so many
things and I doubt he could recuperate if he gets another blow like the one
with Callista."

Han hugged Leia gently and kissed the top of her head. "You know, Mara has
been many things in her life but she is definitely not the Callista type.
And from what you told me, I think she's rather more fond of the farmboy
than the Jedi Master and that," And here he looked his wife straight in the
eye. "That is the difference between Mara and Callista, and even if she is
not aware of it, the kid sure is."

Leia had to admit that her husband had a point, but she was still feeling
uneasy at the thought that her gentle brother was falling head over heels
in love with the deadly Mara Jade. She was so engrossed in her thoughts,
that she almost didn't hear Han's suggestion.

"Why don't you invite Mara to our table at the reception of the Briem
treaty? She has been imperative to the outcome and she will attend anyway.
You can then see for yourself if she harbors any soft feelings for Luke.
Set them up, dare them if you like, but don't ask her outright. I'd rather
have my wife in one piece." They both chuckled at that.

Softly they conversed with each other, devising a plan to set up the
beautiful smuggler turned trader, content in the each other's feeling of love.

+++

The apartment was once quiet again as Luke walked back to his bedroom.
After Leia had left, assuring him that she won't meddle with his life
again, which he strongly doubted, he had felt drained and tired. Toying
Mara's light saber in his hands he fell back onto the bed and stared at the
ceiling. When he felt calm enough, he repeated the events of the day on
Jedi replay and he had to admit that his twin had an awful timing.

Luke grinned at that and closed his eyes. Immediately he could smell Mara's
hair and feel the texture of her skin beneath his fingertips. The young
Jedi Master groaned when he felt the first stirrings in his groin, and
despite his best efforts to keep his rebellious body under control, he
failed miserably. Sighing with the air of defeat, he let his body and mind
wander, reliving the moments of lust and desire with his best friend.
At this his eyes snapped open. <i>Is she my best friend?</i> he asked
himself. <i>Or is she more? </i> he closed his eyes again, trying to
decipher the emotions surging through his body and soul. Judging from what
they were about to do before Leia had disturbed them, he had to admit that
his feelings for Mara had changed. For quite some time now he had felt
desire and longing for her, and the dreams he had experienced didn't help
him quenching the errant thoughts. He had tried to ignore his growing
feelings for her, had tried to think of her as his best friend rather than
a woman of flesh and blood.

<i>*Do or do not, there is no try*</i> Luke could feel the presence of the
old Jedi Master through the Force and he smiled. For once he had not tried
but had taken action. <i>So is that why I kissed her?</i> he asked himself
and fumbled for an answer. For quite some time the Jedi Master had felt
himself attracted to his best friend. <i>Face it, Skywalker,</i> he teased
himself. <i>I was smitten with Mara since Myrkr. Never thought a blaster
held to my head would invoke so many conflicting emotions like fear and
arousal at the same time.</i> And yet, something about her had felt
familiar since the day, she and Karrde had picked him up in his disabled
X-Wing. Something about her had struck in chord in him. Part of him knew
that he cared more than he let on with Leia, he could feel that his
feelings for her ran far deeper, that he wanted to be with her always.

He sighed and turned onto his side, looking out of the window and
searching the spaceport squires with his eyes in the far distance. He knew
better than reaching out to Mara with the Force, but somehow he knew he
could sense her just by looking into the general direction she was. He
could feel Mara's own troubled thoughts and despite her desperate efforts
to shield herself from him, her warring emotions reached out to him through
the Force almost in crystal clarity.

Skywalker knew his signature was disturbed likewise. Every time he closed
his eyes she was with him, he could feel, smell and taste her, feeling even
more real to him than in the cursed dreams that had led too all of this.

<i>If kissing had resulted in this strong a bond what would love-making do
to them?</i> he asked himself and somewhere deeply hidden in the far
corners of his soul a flicker of fear ignited. He had never experienced
something strong like this and although his Jedi senses told him to heed
the warning, it seemed that his whole being longed to find out first hand
what would happen if the Jedi Master and Mara Jade ever gave in to their
mutual attraction.

Closing his eyes, he decided to take a nap. After all, his head was still
throbbing from the night out with his friends and the experiences with his
two most favourite women had left him drained both emotionally and physically.
+++
It was already nightfall when Mara Jade returned to her craft. She felt
irritated and tired. Not only that she had to put up with Talon Karrde's
constant banter and teasing all afternoon, to her infinite chagrin she had
run into Lando Calrissian and he had worn off the last threads of her patience.

Throwing her jacket onto her bunk, she made her way slowly over to the
cockpit. Slumping down in the seat she pulled her knees to her chin and
rested her head on them. Images whirled in a mad dance of despair and
passion inside her head and try as she might she could not dispel the one
person who was responsible for them ... Luke Skywalker.

Mara groaned, she could still feel his hands on her body, as they had
roamed freely and passionately over her heated skin only a few hours ago.
Hugging her knees to herself she tried to suppress the passion coursing
through her body, tried to ban the images out of her mind which made her
long to be right back in his arms.

The young trader still could not fathom why she had acquiesced so easily to
the Jedi's touch. <i>I would have known if he had used a Jedi trick on me,
wouldn't I?</i> she asked herself. The instant she thought that, she knew
that Luke was never that devious. <i>It was a trick for sure</i>, Mara
relentlessly pushed on. <i>The charm of the farmboy had me tricked</i>.
Closing her eyes against this realization, Mara shuddered.

<i>It was just hormones, nothing more! I'm over it. It was just temporary
insanity!</i> she tried to convince herself but like the Force bond she
shared with Skywalker that got stronger and stronger, she knew that her
desire to bond physically with him was almost as strong. She knew that if
she had wanted, she could have stopped both of them. She could have harmed
Luke to make it all stop, but deep down Mara Jade knew that she didn't want
to stop. Her whole body and soul longed for the touch of the Jedi even if
her mind was still recalcitrant.

Her body had fit to Luke's muscular frame like the other side of a medal,
she felt she belonged. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Mara tried to ignore
the tingling feeling that someone had just brushed her Force sense.

"Luke," she whispered softly, then shook her head, forcing herself to build
up her barriers against the Force and especially one force-strong Jedi.
With every kiss, with every caress she had felt as if her barriers
weakened, as if they became insubstantial. Mara knew that giving in to the
attraction to Luke would cost her many fold, it would bring her the most
highest joys ever imagined but it could also bring her down and enslave her
- forever.

Deeply engrossed in her dark musings, Mara almost missed the soft,
insistent beep on her com unit. Pushing the swivel chair around towards the
console, she punched the access button and came face to face with Han Solo,
who was holding one of his twins in his arms while studying something off
the holovid camera to the bottom left. Obviously he had not noticed her
answering the call.

"Leia, she's not there. I guess we just leave her a me-," he looked up and
saw Mara. "Oh hi, Mara!" he grinned into the camera and the little boy in
his arms did likewise, already displaying the Solo charm.

"Solo," Mara said by way of greeting and suppressed a sigh. <i>What
now?</i> she thought.

"Leia thought...suggested I...I'd," Han said and shifted the child in his
arms. "The Briem Treaty celebration is tomorrow and as you were imperative
to the outcome, we thought we'd throw a little party after the formal ado
was over. You know, knocking back a drink or two with the gang ..."

Immediately, Mara's danger sense flared up. "I don't think I can come,
besides the Briem were more than willing to join the Core worlds, I just
did a little bit of coaxing," Mara said, frantically searching her mind for
a more polite yet resolute apology for not attending.

"Oh come on, Mara!" Han drawled and flashed her the infamous Solo smile
which worked on half of the female population of the galaxy while the other
half being already dead. "Have you taken some <i>I'm too humble for this
galaxy</i> lessons from Luke? You took them in stride, those guys are
smitten by you front, left and center. Besides, the Rogues and their
spouses will be there as well as Lando ..."

<i>And Luke</i>, Mara added silently and grimaced. Han who had caught onto
her expression, misinterpreted it completely though.

"I know Lando is not on your most favourite persons' lists but we'll keep
an eye on him, promised," Han said. "Besides, you have to admit that the
man's got exquisite taste if he is pursuing the most beautiful woman in the
galaxy, apart from Leia of course."

"I heard that Solo, and it just saved you from spending the night on the
couch!" came Leia's voice from the background.
Mara smiled at that. She had often listened to the good-natured and loving
banter of the married couple and it reminded her of the banter between Luke
and herself - she caught herself before pursuing the matter any further.

"So, it's a deal then, Jade? The official thingy will start by nightfall
and it is an open end. But you can always crash at Luke's." Before Mara
could answer, the com channel went dead.

"Sithspit," Mara exclaimed and rubbed her temples wearily. "Is the whole
universe out to get me?" she asked herself out loud and try as she might,
she could not silence the little voice inside her head which continuously
laughed at her.
+++
To Be Continued

Hi All,

yep, the next installment on CE ...
A special thank you and hug to Sherry, my patient beta reader who just came
up with the naughtiest line for Luke, I love ya, gal :)

Okay, enough babbling, remember I use the English spelling, so if it looks
weird to you it is most certainly British English opposed to American
English spelling :)

Summary: Returning to Coruscant Mara is brought to a medcenter and Luke
does some reminiscence <sp?> of what happened ten weeks earlier (yep a
flashback again <g>)

Enjoy,
Una
-------------
Chapter Six
Present Day - Coruscant

Luke Skywalker jerked awake when his commlink beeped mercilessly. Groaning
and running nimble fingers through his hair, he noticed that he had fallen
asleep. Reliving the events in a dream were as mind-shattering as the
actual events that had led up to his current turmoil and for a moment he
felt disorientated. Reaching over to his commlink, he croaked out a rough
"Skywalker".

"Luke, you sound awful," his sister's voice wavered towards him and
Skywalker winced.

"You woke me up, Leia," Luke said, and rubbed sleep out of his eyes. "Any
news on the Fire?"

"Yes, that's why I contacted you. Spaceport authorities told me she
requested her usual booth and a med-droid..." Leia's voice trailed away
while she waited for her twin's reaction.

"A med-droid?" There was a definite catch in his voice. "Why ..." he
stopped and tried to concentrate on the Force, but Mara's imprint was
nowhere to be found. "I'll get over there and see for myself."

"No need, Mara Jade already requested a meeting with me, she has retrieved
the Jedi artifacts. She is due to meet me in half an hour in my office,"
Leia answered. Luke frowned at that. He remembered clearly that Mara Jade
had told his sister that she would been back in two to three standard
weeks, but she had been gone for ten. And why does she need a med-droid
unless ..., he thought before realization hit him.

"Leia, if Mara turns up, don't let her go. Offer her what ever comes to
mind, food, drink, whatever!" Skywalker almost shouted before he switched
off the comm and rushed towards the refresher.
+++
Leia Organa Solo stared at the commlink in her hand and frowned. Why would
the information of a med-droid get her brother into such a state? she
thought and then she blushed. Of course, if Mara had been away for ten
weeks without proper medical attention and with what had happened between
her and Luke-, she quickly abandoned this trail of thought and shook her
head. "Surely, Mara is not that stupid as not to take precautions, is she?"
she whispered to herself.

"Who would take precautions?" Han asked from behind her and watched in
amusement when his wife whirled around at the sound of his voice.

"No one, I was just thinking out loud." She gave him a shaky smile. "I
better get going, an impromptu meeting has come up."

Han shook his head at his wife and followed her over to the door. "I should
have known, always, busy, busy, busy ..." he taunted good-naturedly.

"And yet you love me, smugglerboy," Leia grinned and blew him a goodbye kiss.

Leia made it in time to her office and she had several minutes to spare
before one of the guards led Mara Jade into her office. Leia watched the
younger woman as she approached, searching the slim figure for any early
signs of pregnancy. The Trader looked wan and tired, dark circles beneath
her eyes giving her a haunted look.

"Mara," Leia nodded and motioned her to take a seat but Mara Jade shook her
head.

"I won't stay long, Senator. I just wanted to give you these," Mara Jade
took utmost care not to move her left shoulder and arm overly much as she
placed a container onto the impressive desk in front of her. Displaying a
nonchalance, she didn't really feel, she flipped open the carrier and she
shoved the container towards Luke's sister.

While Leia examined its contents, Mara's features changed for a second.
Instead of her usual cool and somewhat haughty pose, her shoulders slumped
slightly and a wave of pain showed openly on her face. Leaning slightly
onto the desk in front of her, she propped herself carefully against it.

The Senator was so caught up in the contents of the carrier that she only
felt something was wrong when the heavy desk started to tremble ever so
slightly. Her head snapped up and saw in time that Mara Jade was shivering
extensively. Reaching out to the Force Leia found nothing - no trace of the
Trader.

"Mara, what happened to you?" she asked in shock and came around the desk,
the artifacts forgotten for the moment.

Your brother, Mara wanted to snap but she quickly cut down on the retort.
"I need to get to the medcenter," she said through clenched teeth and wiped
off droplets of sweat which had gathered on her upper lip. Pushing away
from the desk, she whirled around and staggered.

"Let me get a med droid. You're in no fit state to walk around the city
like this, Mara," Leia replied and put her arms around the other woman's
shoulder. Mara flinched and jackknifed when Leia's hand came to rest on her
wounded shoulder. Catching her breath, she stilled her racing heart as she
squatted on the floor, one hand keeping her steady.

"Just let me out of here, Leia. I do not need your concern ..." she
breathed and tried to pull up enough strength to rise to her feet. Nausea
and pain washed over her and all she could do was to ride it out. Something
warm trickled down her left arm and when she carefully examined her hand,
she saw that a trickle of blood was already dripping off her fingers.

"Quit playing the tough Ex-Imp, Mara," Leia said and hauled her to her
feet. "You sit down and I'll get on the comm. Luke will be here any minute
and he can put you into a healing trance ..."

"Luke?" Mara gasped and clenched her hands to fists. "I thought he was on
Yavin?"

"He was but he came back about a week ago, ever since you left he has been
moping around on Coruscant and Yavin and even his pupils complained that he
was short-tempered and impatient with them." Leia retorted and tried to
push the trader into a chair nearby.

"I need to get out of here, Leia," Mara said weakly and stumbled towards
the door, but the door opened before she could reach it and Luke Skywalker
walked in. His hair was still wet from the shower he must have taken and he
tried to calm his breath that racked his body after he had taken the
distance between his apartment and Leia's office in a run. Mara felt as if
her heart was clenched by an iron fist, her brain screaming at her for ever
leaving him, when she felt nausea rushing to her head and blackness
engulfing her.

"Mara," he breathed when both came face to face with each other so
suddenly. Before he could utter another word, he caught Mara Jade into his
arms as she fell forward, unconscious.
+++
The lamps in the medcenter cast an eerie, white, antiseptic light onto the
couple as they waited outside the room in which Mara Jade lay still
unconscious, guarded by a med droid and Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master. Leia
watched through the small window in the door as Mara was examined by the
droid, while her brother stood by the bedside, his arms crossed over his
chest, like a silent guardian. Leia had just ended her review of what had
happened this morning and she felt her husband chuckle into her hair, as he
hugged her close to him.

"Han!" Leia scolded and hit his shoulder playfully. "This is serious."

"Oh come on, Leia, the meds said that she is alright, and now after that
operation on her arm and shoulder, she just needs a lot of rest," Han
replied and grinned. "And, wife of mine, you have to admit, Mara knows how
to make an entrance!"
He chuckled again and despite herself, Leia joined him. She had to admit
the first meeting between her brother and Mara Jade could not have been
staged better in a good holovid movie. It had been dramatic and romantic at
the same time, watching as her brother had scooped up Mara into his arms
and then rushed her to the med center. She sighed and turned to watch her
brother through the window. With an unmoving face, Luke listened to the
explanations of the med droid, then frowned when the droid handed him
something that looked like an injector.

Leia frowned and turned when the droid opened the door and joined them.
"How is she?"

"Madame Senator, General Solo," the droid, a Fourpio unit, nodded his head
reverently by way of greeting. "Mistress Jade has been sedated, it will
take a while until the abuse of her arm and shoulder will be completely
healed, but I'm positive that she will recover in good time. She is
extremely lucky, that we were able to save the bone and tissue on her
shoulder otherwise we would have been forced to replace it with an
artificial one."

Leia and Han both shuddered at that. It was enough that Luke had lost his
right hand after his confrontation with Vader, but to lose a complete
shoulder and arm was something totally different.

"When can we see her?" Leia asked indicating Luke with her head who was
still standing at the foot of Mara Jade's bed.

"Mistress Jade is very weak. She has to heal in her own time as it seems
she is under the influence of a drug. Master Skywalker tried to put her
into a healing trance to help speeding up her recovery but had to abort. We
need to cleanse her body of the drug first."

"Drug?" Leia asked and felt her husband's hands tighten on her shoulders.

"Affirmative, it is some unknown drugs we couldn't locate in the medical
data banks, I'm afraid."

"Thank you, Fourpio," Leia said and nodded her thanks. Watching the still
figure of her brother through the glass of the door, Leia's hands joined
those of her husbands. "Why would she use such a drug? Was she forced to
use it?"

"Leia, you can ask her these questions when she comes around. Let's not
give in to speculations," Han replied and drew his wife into an embrace.
"Mara is in the best care now, Luke will inform us if her condition
changes." To that Leia nodded and after telling her brother through the
Force that they would be at home, she followed her husband out of the
medcenter.
+++
When Luke had felt the soft brush of his sister through the force, he felt
a sense of relief washing over him. Ever since he had seen Mara, he had
held his mind and the barriers to the Force in a steely grip, trying to
block out the emotions that were threatening to overcome his mind. Heaving
a soft sigh, he willed his stiff body to walk over to the bed, and
extending his left hand, he brushed softly over Mara's face. Her skin was
cold to his touch and yet her hair was plastered to her forehead.

He pulled a chair beside the bed and dropped into it, watching the sleeping
woman in front of him. He tried to sort out his feelings on what he heard
from the doctor. At first he had not known how to broach the subject of a
pregnancy, but when the droid had discussed the examinations they had
executed, he had briefly seen the chart. Mara Jade was not pregnant. He had
felt relief and regret at the same time. One half of him wanted it to be
true, that they both had created a new life while the other half had told
him that it was for the better.

Sighing softly he reached over and took her right hand in his left,
caressing her softly. After a while Skywalker needed more than just
touching her hand. His eyes roamed over her body, drinking in the knowledge
that she was save and alive - albeit just barely. She looked thinner than
ten weeks ago and her skin was even paler than before, having lost its
creamy brilliance.

His gaze fell upon the injector he had put onto a nearby table earlier. He
picked it up again and felt it with the Force. The liquid was swirling in
the cylinder and he could feel the void it was creating in the Force. He
didn't know how but somehow he could feel what it was and what it was doing
to her. Some remnants of her thoughts and emotions still clung to the
metallic device and when he concentrated on the injector rather than the
essence contained within, Luke sensed an overwhelming sensation of loss and
desperation. Shuddering, he placed the injector back and brushed some locks
out of Mara's face.

"Oh Mara, why?" he asked softly, knowing full well that he could not touch
her through the Force. For the first time since they had met in Leia's
office, Luke Skywalker allowed himself to be submerged in the emotions
riveting through his body, sending his mind into a turmoil and he wept for
all the things this woman had lost and for all the things he had obviously
done to push her even further away from him.

It was a soft almost indiscernible movement but Luke could feel that Mara's
hand was twitching between his fingers. Looking up he saw that her eyes
were rapidly moving beneath closed tight lids. Allowing himself to be
surrounded by the Force, Luke stretched out to her and he could feel her
signature as a soft flicker within the Force. Exhaling softly, relief
washed over him and he smiled. Bending over her, he kissed her temple
gently, then set out to the task of nurturing the flicker, helping her to
grow stronger and fighting the effects of the drug. With every breath that
they took, with every minute that ticked by, Luke knew that it was only a
matter of time when Mara would be fully healed. Standing up, he did what
seemed to be the only possible thing to do to let her know that she was not
alone, to ground her in the here and now. He climbed into the bed beside
her and cradled her into his strong arms and for the first time in ten
weeks, Mara Jade dreamt peacefully while Luke thought back to the
celebration where he irrevocable lost his heart to the woman who lay beside
him.
+++
Ten weeks earlier - The Briem treaty celebration
Soft laughter and music could be heard from afar and Mara Jade strained her
ears to discern any particular words and sounds but she was still too far
out in the corridor to tell who was talking with whom unless she used her
Force sense. The trader still wasn't convinced that this was a good idea,
she had been virtually bullied into coming here and she felt out of place.
Brushing nervously over the velvety texture of her dress, she stepped
further towards the light and the music.

"Master Trader Jade," one of the Briem cried out joyously, when he noticed
her entering the room. The man came rushing forward and grabbing her hand,
pumped it several times up and down. "I was just saying that you were the
special guest of the evening."

Mara plastered a forced smile onto her face and allowed the man to lead her
over to the other group of Briem and NR officials. Too late she saw that
Luke was among them and as the Briem official introduced her to his
friends, she found herself smiling into Luke's face.

"Mistress Jade and I know each other," Luke commented and yet he took her
hand and kissed it gallantly. *You look lovely, Mara,* he sent to her and
his blue eyes twinkled mischievously as he took in her appearance with an
appreciative eye.

*Dito, Farmboy, though couldn't you just lay off on those Jedi Blacks?*
Mara quirked an eyebrow at him. Luke laughed and put his other hand onto
his chest in a dramatic pose.

*Why, Mara Jade, did you just tell me I'm looking good in my despicable
Jedi Blacks?* he teased and Mara snorted very unladylike.

*In your dreams, Farmboy*. Unnoticed by them the Briem delegation was
staring at them and Han who had a hunch at what those two were up to again,
came forward and tried to usher the officials away.

"I hate it when you two do that," he commented after he had disentangled
the bewildered Briem officials from the couple and moved them towards his
wife and some other dignitaries.

"What?" Luke asked and his head snapped up.

"Your Jedi talk, it weirds me out!" Han grinned at the dumbfounded faces of
his two friends. "And you certainly gave the Briems something to talk about."

Luke's face reddened while Mara smirked at that.

"Well, I think we could have given them even more to talk about if I had
said all the things to Skywalker aloud," she snapped and with a graceful
turn on her heel she left the two men.

"You know kid, that woman is one exceptional lady, if not for her sharp
tongue," Han commented as both watched Mara from afar.

Luke had recovered from her taunt and flashed his friend a quick smile.
"Don't let Leia hear that, Han, otherwise you'll end up on the couch again
and you know that your old bones don't take that lightly."

"And from what I hear you should be careful with your hide, I've heard
redheads are quite something when you make'em mad." Han's grin faltered
when he saw the frown on Luke's face. "Sorry, forget that I said that." he
murmured and retreated.

Luke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Great, now I get advice
from Han, he thought and tried to suppress a chuckle. I should really be
more careful, if Leia and Han know about me and Mara, it is only a matter
of time before others pick up on that. Sighing, he turned towards the
tables when someone announced that dinner was served. Luke hated these
things and he was looking forward to the more informal part of the evening.

Leia had seen the little exchange between Luke and Mara earlier and when
she had asked Han about it, her husband had only grunted something about
damn Jedi. Shrugging, Leia set out to the next step of her plan, now that
Mara Jade had arrived. Asking the attendees to the tables she took careful
note that Mara and Luke were seated side by side, but both had been
assigned Briem table companions to avoid rising suspicion.
+++
Most of the Briem dignitaries were quite interested in the tales of the
Jedi Master and during the main course and the dessert, Luke had to answer
quite a lot of questions.

"I heard that Mistress Jade here was intent on killing you, is that
correct?" One of the Briem asked and Luke could feel Mara tensing beside him.

"That is correct, Master Tovar. Though Mara Jade was acting on orders of
the late Emperor," Luke said carefully and looked sideways at Mara's sour face.

"It must have been quite an experience for you," Tovar said and smiled. "Of
course, I myself would not mind if pursued by such a beautiful woman as you
are, Mistress Jade," he said smoothly and it was evident the Briem was
smitten by her.

"Even if I were to point a blaster to your head?" Mara asked, a feral smile
curving her lips. Another Briem gasped, this time a female, and she put a
hand to her heart.

"Surely you didn't?" she asked in a gasp.

"Yes, she did. In fact she cocked a blaster at me the whole time we were at
Myrkr," Luke responded with glee and grinned at Mara's discomfort. He
really enjoyed getting back at Mara for once.

"Well you deserved it at that time, Jedi," Mara snorted and sipped at her
drink. "And it wasn't the whole time."

Luke looked at her. "Oh really? The way I remember it, I had that blaster
of you trained on me every minute of every day."

*I did, even when you were sleeping. But that is of no interest to them*,
Mara replied through the Force while she listened to another question
directed at her by Tovar.

*And I'm sure you were taking careful need in watching me sleep, Mara,*
Luke chuckled silently.

"So you and Mistress Jade have been on many missions together?" The female
Briem asked and leant forward toward Luke.

"Well, together wouldn't be the right imperative, more like I had to rescue
him," Mara barged in and felt Luke's gasp beside her. "The Jedi Master has
this little problem you know," she leant over the table confidentially. "He
seeks trouble and then it is Mara Jade to the rescue."

"Oh come on, Mara, it's not as bad as that. I have gotten out of some
pretty nasty situations without your help as well," Luke replied,
forgetting for the moment to play the austere Jedi Master.

"Oh really?" Mara asked in return this time and quirked an eyebrow at him.
*Since when did you get out of situations when I wasn't there to rescue
your butt, Farmboy?*

*Mara!* Luke sent her through the Force and turned back to the Briem. "Mara
and I have been teaming up on quite a few occasions."

"Two Jedi teaming up must be an awesome sight," a younger Briem, who had
listened quietly to their conversation, commented. "I have seen Mistress
Jade showing the use of a light saber and I must say it was impressive. We
Briem use similar weapons, though they are more ceremonial than have any
great value in battle."

"Perhaps you two could show us your skills with these weapons some time
during our stay?" Maleera, the female Briem, asked.

"I think we can manage that, don't you, Mara?" Luke asked amicably and Mara
nodded.

"Yes, we could set a time tomorrow morning," Jade acquiesced. "Although,
Skywalker, I don't want to disgrace the Jedi Master by wiping the floor
with you."

"You won't, Mara, believe me," Luke said and smiled at her. "But perhaps
you don't want to be beaten by me."

Mara snorted at that and, turning fully, pointed a finger at him. "In your
dreams, Skywalker. I'll remind you when I visit you tomorrow at the med
center!" she snarled and the Briem took a collective breath.

"You sure, you two are friends?" the younger Briem asked when he had found
his voice again, giving the two a momentary pause. Both only nodded in
response. Tovar laughed out loudly and patted Mara's hand.

"I have every confidence that Mistress Mara will be victorious," Tovar said
and eyed Mara. The way he had pronounced the word mistress made Mara cringe
and only with utmost patience she managed to retrieve her hand from his
without hitting the man. "And I would like spar with you sometime as well,
perhaps after the fight with Jedi Master Skywalker," he grinned.

"If I have time, Master Tovar," Mara managed to choke out and plastered a
smile on her lips. She could sense exactly what this man had in mind when
he happened to be alone with her and she was definitely not interested.

*Gods, he's trying to come onto you.*, she heard Luke's voice through the
Force and she snorted at that.

*Skywalker, what is that supposed to mean?* Mara's eyes flashed and her
head turned sharply towards Skywalker. He gave her an incredulous look.

*You are not the only Force-sensitive here, remember? I felt it too.* Luke
snapped and gripped his glass so hard that his knuckles turned white. *If
he keeps it up I'll be happy to show him my light saber *. For a moment
Mara stared at Skywalker with a stunned expression then she tried to
concentrate on Tovar, who was chatting incessantly, but could not hide her
amused smile.

They chatted more with the Briem but were disturbed by the announcer that
the dance was about to start. Tovar smiled when he heard about the dancing
and stood up. "Mistress Mara, care to dance?" he asked and extended a hand
towards her. Luke could feel her hesitation at the offer.

"I'm sorry but she has already agreed to honour me with this dance," Luke
said smoothly and took Mara's hand into his own. "Shall we?" he asked her
and helped her to her feet.

"There was no need to do that, Skywalker," Mara muttered as he led her to
the dance floor. "I would have dealt with him myself."

"And done what? Knocked him off his feet in front of everyone?" Luke asked
and chuckled at the mental image he sent her with her standing over the
stunned Tovar who was trying to get on his feet again like a Tatooineain
Desert Beetle.
+++
Leia had kept a close eye on her brother and more than once she had had the
urge to clout him over the head when it seemed that he was making fun of
Mara Jade. But then again she had the same urge to do likewise with Mara
Jade as well.

Those two can never talk amiably, she thought in a huff and shook her head.
When she saw that Luke was leading Mara to the dance floor she exhaled
softly and nudged Han who was in deep conversation with another trader.

"At least they haven't killed each other yet," Han commented and Leia
looked at him.

"So you noticed it too?"

"That they were ribbing each other? Yes, it is nothing new but that they
were at it like an old married couple in front of strangers surprised me a
bit," Han grinned when his wife gasped. "It was your idea to invite her at
our table, dear, so we better face the consequences if one or both of them
gets hurt."

"Oh Han!" Leia chuckled at that. "Surely they wouldn't? I mean I haven't
noticed any weapons on them..."

"Since when does Mara Jade need a weapon? Her tongue is as sharp and deadly
enough as it is." +++
Luke had led Mara over to the dance floor which was slowly filling up. Most
couples were giving them a wide berth as if not to intrude on the privacy
of the Jedi Master, others were outright staring at him and his companion.
Mara who had noticed it, tried to draw Luke off the dance floor.

"People are staring at us, I think they disapprove of your choice for a
dance partner," she said through clenched teeth, knowing full well why they
disapproved.

"Oh come Mara, when does this ever stop you from doing anything?" Luke
retorted and pulled her towards him as the music started.

It was a traditional piece which Mara had heard often when she had attended
the official balls of the Emperor. Dismissing her doubts, she quickly let
herself being consumed by the music and she had to admit that Luke, despite
lacking the skill of some professional dancers she had the opportunity to
dance with in the past, was not that bad.

Luke felt a grin spreading over his face when Mara closed her eyes and
allowed him to lead her over the dance floor with ease to the tunes of the
music. She looked beautiful in the green velvet dress which showed off some
cleavage but was otherwise quite chaste apart from the fact that it fitted
her like a second skin. Carefully drawing her nearer, he swayed to the
music and kept her close in his arms.

*Skywalker, not that tight,* Mara warned him through the Force and moved
slightly away from him.

*Why not, Jade, or are you embarrassed to be seen with the Jedi Knight?* he
taunted and saw Mara shaking her head.

"But people talk, can't you hear it?" she whispered and Luke stretched out
with the Force. Some dignitaries to their left were conversing in hushed
voices but their intention was clear. They did not like the way the Jedi
Master held on to the former Emperor's Hand. Mara could feel Luke's firm
grip tensing around her waist and she moved him further away from the
dignitaries.

Slowly, she tried to disengage herself from his embrace but Luke held on to
her. Staring into each other's eyes, they warred a silent battle, the music
forgotten.

*Let me go, Skywalker!* Mara demanded through the Force and tried to pry
her hand out of Luke's fingers.

*No I won't, Mara. Not because some Wampa dropping brained officials think,
it won't befit the Jedi Master to dance with an ex-assassin,* Luke replied
and strengthened his grasp on her, even drawing her closer so that she was
neatly molded to his chest.

*Luke, don't be so pig-headed, this is not a challenge of any kind like you
play with your old squadron or Han,* Mara reminded him, clearly embarrassed
by the whole situation.

"Do you think it is a challenge to dance with you?" Luke whispered near her
ear and for a moment Mara's eyes closed.

"No," she whispered. "But you have to think of your reputation. You are the
Jedi Master, hero of the New Republic. People wag their tongues at an
opportunity like this..."

"Why do you care, Mara?" Luke asked and fixed her with a blue-fire stare.
Mara shuddered and shook her head.

Why should I care indeed, she thought and tried to turn her face away from
him but Luke's left hand had vacated her waist and was cupping her face
gently now.

"Do you care?" Luke asked hoarsely and caressed her cheek. "Because,
frankly, Mara, I couldn't care less about my reputation where you are
concerned," and with this he bent his head and his lips met her mouth with
deadly accuracy. They both gasped when bolts of pure energy exchanged
between their bodies, only increasing the passion that had ignited between
them when their lips met.

Mara groaned and clung to the front of Luke tunic to steady herself as his
tongue invaded her mouth, re-acquainting itself with all the places he had
explored a couple of days ago. As if from afar she heard gasps coming from
the other dancers but all she could think of was the man who held her
tightly in his arms and kissed her senseless. She could still feel the
Force surging through and around them, creating an impressive light show
around the couple but she did not care at all.

Leia had heard the gasps coming from the dance floor and when she turned
her gaze towards it her mouth fell open. In the middle of the dance floor
she saw her brother and Mara Jade kissing each other as if their life
depended on it and Force bolts were vibrating around them brightly. She
couldn't have been more surprised if a Wampa had suddenly appeared in their
midst.

"Now what do you think of that?" Han whispered beside her and barely could
contain his laughter. "Not exactly what you had in mind, Leia, uh?"

Slowly, Leia was able to recover her senses and with barely contained
effort she turned towards her husband. "Make them stop, Han. This .. this
... it is as if they are ... you know, doing it in public," she gasped and
Han lost his battle. Laughing out loud he pecked his wife's nose.

"They are still fully closed, wife of mine, but I know what you mean.
Judging from the intensity of the light they won't be much longer." He
smirked at that and nudging Karrde who was just as mesmerized as everyone
else by the spectacle before him, Han made his way over to the dance floor.

Luke's whole being was basking in the sensations coursing through his body
while kissing and holding Mara close to himself. Part of his mind was
telling him that he was making a spectacle out of himself but the larger
part of him who just felt was driving him on. Turning his head slightly to
have a better angle of kissing her, he opened his eyes for a moment and he
could see the energy surrounding them. He was about to ask Mara if he was
hallucinating when he felt a slight tap on his shoulder.

Whirling around but unable to end the kiss, he stared straight into the
eyes of his best friend Han Solo with Talon Karrde and Wedge Antilles hard
on his heels.

"Enjoying yourself, kid?" Han asked, his whole body shaking with contained
laughter. Reluctantly, Luke let go of Mara and she hid her burning face
when she came back to her senses.

"Han!" Skywalker gasped, his voice having a definite catch. Taking in his
surroundings, he could see that all eyes were fixed on him and Mara.
*Oh-uh*, he thought. *Now I'm really in deep Gungan doodoo.*

*I think we are both in it up to our necks, Skywalker*, Mara sent him
through the Force. She disentangled herself from Luke and straightened, her
legs supporting her non too steadily.

"You two better keep your distances, Kid, before Leia strokes out on us,"
Han commented and saw with pleasure that Mara Jade seemed as affected to
the kiss as his brother in law was. Both were staring wide-eyed at him and
their faces showed the same silly expression.

Ignoring the audience they had, Luke grasped Mara's hand and excused
himself. Heading towards the door, he hurriedly ushered her out. The three
men watched their hurried exit and Wedge whistled.

"So I take it they are skipping the informal part of the party, huh?" Wedge
asked to no-one in particular and saw Karrde retrieving a pouch of credits
and handing it over to Han. "You two knew about this and didn't let me in?"
He asked in mock hurt.

"Spur of the moment bet, Wedge," Han said and pocketed the pouch. "And if
you'd known we wouldn't have had the pleasure of that stupid face of yours.
That was priceless."
+++
Mara didn't know where Luke took her until they stopped in front of his
apartment. She was only barely aware that he ushered her into the living room.

"We need to talk, Mara," he told her and although Mara was trying to still
the turmoil in her head, she jerked her hand away from him.

"Oh so you call it talking now?" she snapped and turned away towards the
open balcony doors. Luke sighed and rubbed his neck absentmindedly while he
could feel the seething turmoil coming towards him from her through the Force.

Great, just what I need, he thought and he left her and went to the
kitchen. He took his time fixing them both a drink as he heard Mara's voice
through the open doors. She was muttering beneath her breath but still loud
enough to hear her with Force-enhanced senses. She cursed him, herself and
then him again, though perhaps not in this particular order. When he felt
she had calmed down he heaved a sigh of relief. Taking the two glasses with
him, he joined Mara on the balcony, where she stood framed against the
lights of the city and the stars above. She looked more beautiful to him
than ever and she reminded him of one of those wraith-like entities who had
been all the rage in popular love-songs for a time.

I should lay off the booze, otherwise I get all mushy and cheesy, he
thought and chuckled silently to himself. Reaching Mara he put her glass
down in front of her on the railing.

*You should certainly lay off the booze, Luke*, Mara sent him through the
Force and moved to pick up the glass. *Considering what happened the last
time you got sloshed.*

"You think so?" Luke asked. "I think it was very pleasurable ..." his voice
trailed away and he looked over the blinking lights of the city.

"Pleasurable?" Mara asked, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Well, I wouldn't
call getting poked into the ribs by a light saber or two pleasurable, Farmboy."

Luke watched her for a moment, then grinned at her. "Actually that's not
what I had in mind, Mara. I found it very pleasurable to wake up with you
and ... ummm... other things we did that morning." He could hear her sharp
intake of breath and he watched as she resolutely put down her glass.

"Skywalker, what happened back then and what happened tonight ... it was
... madness. That wasn't us!" she said and leant against the banister of
the balcony with her back.

"Awww, Mara," Luke mocked in a wailing tone and reached over to caress her
cheek. "I thought we had left that particular conversation behind?"

"I got ... we got distracted, Skywalker, and it shouldn't have happened.
This is all so surreal and when you come to think of it, it is so much out
of character for the both of us that we should consider forgetting all
about it," Mara replied and a wisp of cold air sent her shivering. She
wrapped her arms protectively around herself and watched Luke from guarded
lids. "It is for the best, Luke. Look at what we have achieved. I wanted to
kill you and yet we have become friends ..."

Luke shook his head and leant his elbows on to the railing beside her.
"Have you been talking to Leia? Because it sure sounds like my sister
speaking," he sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

*Mara, I feel very strongly for you and from your reaction on that day and
tonight I know you have strong feelings for me as well*, he told her
through the Force and he felt her shiver at his words.

"Luke ...," his name fell softly from her lips and Skywalker had to fight
the urge to plunder these very lips again with his mouth. "For once, Leia
and I agree. We ... you and I aren't compatible ... The Emperor's Hand and
the Jedi Master, do you know what kind of a uproar it causes? You have seen
it for yourself at the celebration."

*Let me make love to you, Mara,* Luke surprised them both by uttering the
very words. For years he had not thought that he could ever bring himself
to utter these words, but here he was, standing with his best friend on his
balcony in a somewhat romantic setting, asking her to sleep with him.

Luke waited and when he did not hear any taunting words from Mara, he dared
to turn his head her way. What he saw shook him to his deepest roots. In
front of him there stood Mara Jade, Ex-Assassin, Smuggler and Trader, and
she wept.

"Mara," he whispered as he pulled her into his arms, the woman clung to him
like a lifeline as she sobbed silently. "Shhh, it is alright, my sweet."

Mara closed her eyes and inhaled a shuddering breath, taking in his scent
which had become so familiar to her over the years. Why did he have to use
these words? she asked herself silently. Why did he have to say making love
instead of just sleeping together or sex? I could have brushed it away, I
could have brushed him away but no, he had to chose the L word! Mara Jade
wiped her eyes angrily and let go of Luke.

But try as she might, she could not come up with a smart retort or a
banter. "I'd better go," she said softly and Luke let out a breath.

"I never thought you were a coward, Jade," he suddenly said to her
retreating back. Mara spun around and watched him out of deadly green eyes.

"That was a low blow, Skywalker, even for you!" Mara spat out but tried to
calm herself. Her body still lingered in the warmth of the kiss they had
shared at the reception and she was well aware of how close Luke's body
was. "Good bye, Skywalker!" She turned but Luke's voice held her back.

"Mara, I'm sorry, I didn't mean ..." He stopped and turned towards the city
lights again, the beauty of it escaping his mind.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Farmboy," he heard Mara say and his head jerked around.

*Don't look at me like a Tusken Raider seeing his first snow, Skywalker!*
Mara taunted him. *We wanted to spar, remember? The Briem wanted to see
your skill .... and I don't mean the skill of making a fool out of
yourself*. With that she left him and Luke could hear the soft hiss of his
front door closing behind her. Sighing he turned back to the skyline of the
city before him, but when Artoo let off a series of soft beeps and twirls,
Luke grinned to himself.

"Yeah I know, Artoo, she could have killed me for that comment, but she
didn't," he answered his astromech and chuckled. "Must be love!" And for
the first time Skywalker felt at ease with that thought.

Hello All,

another installment of Cold Equation!
Sherry sent her first today, so mine is next and Skywalker's Dream's fic
will follow in our wake <g> Hmm now that sounds like the three riders of
the Apocalypse ... who wants to be the fourth today ? ;-)

As you can see in the subject line, I have changed the quantity of parts.
First I thought I would do with eight chapters but no, Mara and Luke are
too stubborn to behave, so I have extended it to ten (hopefully that will
be enough<g>).

I would like to say special thanks to Sherry, who with her cheering,
nagging, beta'ing and wonderful advice, has an integral part of this story.
Without her this chapter seven would never have come to life. Thank you for
listening to me bitching around about the writer's block and being an
overall great friend :)

This chapter, although already written when I had finished chapter six, was
all in bits and pieces with all major scenes in there but not properly
connected.
I just hope chapters eight to ten are easier to write ... or perhaps I
should stay away from sex scenes, they do distract quite a lot <g>
Additionally I made references to my other fic Tatooine Suns - I guess I
will put them altogether in my own view of an AU :)

----
Disclaimer: it ain't mine, ain't making any money out of it, everything
belongs to Tim Zahn and George Lucas

Summary: After Mara has returned to Coruscant she is immediately submitted
to the med center where Luke is waiting in vigil over her. He thinks back
to the events that lead up to why Mara is using the Ysalamiri essence

Rating: NC 17 for sexual situations (definitely!) So if you don't like
explicit m/f situation, quit right here I will send you a tame summary of
this chapter if you like)

'Nugh said :):

COLD EQUATION by Una
Chapter Seven

Mara had tossed and turned half of the night and when she had fallen into a
deep, dreamless slumber, it was already shortly before dawn. Edging an eye
open, the assassin turned trader groaned and all the thoughts, she had
neatly tucked away in the far recesses of her mind, came back to the
surface. Last night, after she had left Skywalker, she had berated herself
and then in her dreams the nagging voice started up again with enforced
urgency.

<i>Now stop fooling yourself, Mara Jade!</i> The little voice in the back
of mind taunted. <i>You and your bravado. Where was it when Skywalker acted
like the man he is? You bolted, plain and simple. You were so afraid of
letting go and giving yourself up to him that you made an utter fool out of
yourself!</i>

Mara gritted her teeth at that and jumped to her feet. <i>Luke and I are
friends!</i> she reminded herself. <i>Friends don't sleep together, and I
don't want to lose him.</i>

<i>And that is what you are afraid of, Mara Jade! You want to be more than
friends but you are too afraid to take that final step. Perhaps the Emperor
was right, you're a failure! No man will ever love you, Mara Jade. They
only see your pretty face and your body. Didn't the Emperor tell you that,
didn't you learn your lesson back then?</i> A sob escaped Mara's lips as
she collapsed into a heap on her bunk, her dry sobs raking her small frame
mercilessly. She knew that she was playing with fire, she had always known
that Luke Skywalker was a dangerous man, he had the power to leave Mara
exposed and vulnerable. For the first time in her life, Mara realized she
was scared to death.

The incessant beeping only slowly invaded the mind of the woman on the
bunk, the nightmarish images only slowly receding.
With a groan Mara tried to blend out the beeping from her communit, but try
as she might she could not ignore it.

"This better be good," she muttered as she dragged herself to the commlink,
only to be greeted by the cheerful face of Luke Skywalker. "What is it,
Skywalker?" she growled and stifled a yawn.

"And a very good morning to you, too, sleepyhead," Luke replied and
grinned. "You look as if you have danced all night."

<i>Damn him and his blasted farmer's chrono,</i> Mara thought and grimaced.
"No thanks to you, I haven't danced all night, Skywalker," she snapped and
rubbed her eyes impatiently. "So, what is it you want at this gods-forsaken
hour?"

Luke grinned. He really liked what he saw, Mara looked as if she had just
gotten out of bed, her hair a tumbling mess of russet colours interwoven
with gold and copper. Even the sleep-filled eyes looked cute. And the
sleeping shift she was wearing ... <i>I wonder if she knows how revealing
that is?</i> Luke thought as his eyes roamed over her image on his holovid.

"I just wanted to remind you of our training this morning, the Briem
already commed me twice to make sure it is still a date," Luke responded.
Mara groaned at that.

"It is not a date, Jedi. It is a training appointment," Mara snapped,
getting annoyed now. "They commed me last night and I already had confirmed
the sparring." She rubbed her temples wearily and tried to clear her mind.
<i>How come I still fight him, even after what has happened?</i> she asked
herself and snorted. <i>Nothing happened, some few kisses, some heavy
petting here and there... Luke is a friend, my friend. And nothing
happened!</i>

"Mara," Luke's voice intruded her thoughts. "You know that more than
<i>something</i> happened, there is no denying..." Mara stared at his image
on the monitor.

"Get out of my head, Skywalker!" Mara growled and switched off the
commlink. Burying her face in her hands, she wondered how she had gotten
herself into this mess. She had almost had sex with Skywalker! <i>And then
these Force exchanges,</i> she added. <i>I don't think they're healthy in
the long run.</i> Standing up, she felt her body tingling as she remembered
the last time their Force-senses had mingled and her body tensed at the
thought.

Unconsciously she started to recite the Jedi code ... <i>There is no
emotion, there is peace.
There is no passion, there is serenity. No passion, no passion ....</i>
+++
Mara had dressed in grey workout pants, her usual boots and a top that had
once belonged to a certain Jedi Master. She had mistakenly tossed it into
her bag when she had so suddenly and hurriedly made an exit of his
apartment a week earlier. Strangely enough, wearing something of Luke's had
calmed her considerately and as she entered the assigned training room
which Skywalker had reserved for the Briem's sparring, she was looking
forward to the dumbfounded expression on his face when he would notice the
top. <i>If he notices it at all,</i> she huffed silently and forced a smile
on her face when she saw Tovar talking with the Jedi Master.

Luke was wearing almost a mirror attire to what she was wearing, only that
all was black. Sighing she went over and greeted the Briem as well as
Skywalker. Luke smiled at her, his blue eyes twinkling ever since he had
felt her presence in the Force. He had also picked up on her earlier
thoughts and he had to admit that she filled out his tank top rather
nicely. Shielding his thoughts from her, he turned toward Tovar again who
seemed eager to fence with Mara. The woman, Malaar, and the younger Briem,
whose name was Michaan as Luke had found out, seemed somewhat nervous and
try as he might, Luke could not find the reason of their nervousness.

"Shall we begin, Master Tovar?" Luke asked when Mara had shrugged out of
her customary pilot's jacket, unlaced the boots and kicked them
unceremoniously into one corner of the work-out hall. Now she was waiting
on the workout-mat, lightsaber in hand.

"Oh yes, of course, Master Skywalker, you wanted to demonstrate us some of
the Jedi fencing," Tovar's smile was too toothy for Luke's liking but he
could not sense any ill-wish from the man. Following Jade's example, Luke
joined her on the mat and after a short nod towards each other ignited
their sabers and in one fluid movement went into the attack stance. Luke
waited for Mara taking the initiative but he was surprised when she
actually nudged him through their Force bond.

<i>*Go ahead, you won't submit to the dark side if you attack!*</i> her
voice even through the Force dripping with a smirk.
Luke grinned at that and used a more traditional angle of attack, giving
her every opportunity to parry his thrusts and slashes. Soon they were so
absorbed in what they were doing, they forgot that they had onlookers. Each
of them was wrapped up in that deadly dance as their lightsabers kissed and
kissed again, as they parried and blocked each other's attacks.

<i>*You're good, Mara*</i> the woman heard inside her head and she grinned
at his admonition. <i>*You sound surprised, Farmboy*</i>, she retorted and
attacked with a vicious upward slice which Luke blocked without effort.
Their Force senses were so attuned to each other that they could actually
see how the other was reacting, resulting in even more and more rapid
attacks and defences.

<i>*Not surprised, I knew you were this good, Mara*</i>, Luke responded and
laughed when he felt her snort. <i>*You don't believe me? Jedi don't lie!*</i>

At that Mara laughed out loud and the Briem looked at her startled.
Especially Malaar and Michaan exchanged a puzzled look. What they had
witnessed in the last few minutes was astounding and they had their doubts,
that their friend Tovar would best any of the two in this sparring.

Mara and Luke sensed their concern and after a few more parries and blocks,
they killed their blades and turned towards the waiting dignitaries again.

"As you can see, light sabers can be used both as defence as well as
offence - but a Jedi uses it mostly for defensive reasons," Luke commented
and showed several more moves with the sabre while Mara tried to ignore his
teaching voice. She had noticed that Skywalker was the Jedi Master again,
calm, composed and teaching. She sighed.

<i>Just be thankful, girl,</i> she told herself and watched her friend
through slitted eyes. <i>If he is the Jedi Master, you can stay away from
him. It's easier this way</i>.

As if he had heard her thoughts, Luke's head snapped up and when their eyes
locked he gave her a wink.
<i>*You bored?*</i> he asked through their bond and Mara shrugged her
shoulders.

<i>*You seem to enjoy yourself, Farmboy. Don't let me distract you from
lecturing*</i>.

<i>*I'm not lecturing, Mara,*</i> Luke answered sternly and she could feel
he was somewhat miffed at her constant nagging.

<i>*Yes, you do, oh almighty Jedi Master. But I don't care as long as you
don't start to lecture me again!*</i> Mara snapped back and for a short
minute their eyes seemed to battle a silent war before Luke answered to a
question of Master Tovar. Mara sat down on one of the benches and
absent-mindedly took a swig from her water bottle. She let Skywalker's
voice wash over her as he explained the concepts of the Force to the Briem
and grudgingly she had to admit that he was a good teacher. He didn't
lecture but his teaching method was that of asking and answering questions,
challenging the mind of the pupil. Mara could see that Luke Skywalker,
Farmboy turned Jedi Master, was a born teacher and the discovery made her
proud. The young trader snorted at that and shot an angry glance at the man.

Luke's back stiffened a bit when he felt Mara's open scrutiny of him but as
soon as he felt a wave of genuine pride coming towards him he relaxed.
<i>*So you are proud of me, Mara?*</i> he asked with a chuckle and he could
sense the trader snorting.

<i>*Stay out of my head, Skywalker!*</i> she replied through their bond and
felt a small brush of his Force signature gently caressing her cheek.

<i>*If you stop broadcasting - sure,*</i> he quipped and shot her a quick
grin over his shoulder. Mara shook her head and enforced her barriers
towards him but she knew as well as he did that their bond could not be
severed permanently. Not anymore. Especially not after the kiss they had
shared last night.

<i>Better not go there,</i> Mara reminded herself and stood up. <i>*Enough
is enough, Jedi!*</i> she sent Luke. <i>*I have things to do, places to go.
Either you continue your lecture or you get a move on so I can have that
blasted sparring with Master Tovar.*</i>

Luke nodded and turned towards the Briem. "So, Master Tovar, are you ready
for a little sparring?"

The Briem grinned to himself. He had waited for this very thing all morning
and he had been eager to spar with the beautiful trader. Tovar had been
careful to watch Jade's moves during her work out with the Jedi Master. If
his plan was to be successful, he had to best her and that was what he had
in mind. Unclasping the cover he had brought, he took out a handle similar
to that of a light saber but when he ignited it, the blade snaked around
like a living being.

Malaar and Michaan gasped while Luke and Mara watched the blade in
fascination.

<i>*Impressive blade, I've never seen anything like it,*</i> Mara commented
and Luke shot her a sideways glance.

<i>*Me neither, in fact during battle this kind of blade would be lethal
... not to your opponent but to yourself. You never know where it will
turn,*</i> Luke replied and Mara nodded to that.

<i>*Didn't Michaan say something about a ritualistic weapon? I wonder what
kind of ritual requires these kind of blades.*</i>

Michaan stepped closer to Tovar who was shrugging out of his elaborate
mantle. "Master, I beseech you, do not use the <i>Tal-tch'iym</i> blade."

Tovar's head shot up and sized the younger man with an angry glare. "This
is none of your business, young Michaan. I will do a I please and this
woman heed my every command once I have defeated her."

Michaan blanched visibly at that. "But Master Tovar, she is Jedi and she
does not know about the Tal-tch'iym ritual. From all we know she is already
spoken for to the Jedi Master. You cannot really assume she will have any
part in this mating ritual?"

"Enough, Michaan. My mind is set. She will be my wife," Tovar hissed and
turned towards the two Jedi who were standing a few paces away, obviously
deeply in conversation.

"Anything the matter, Master Tovar?" Luke inquired. He had felt inclined to
eavesdrop on the conversation between the two Briem but he had ignored the
urge.

"Nothing at all, my young companion here only reminded me of how dangerous
this blade can be," Tovar assured him and Luke as well as Mara felt their
danger sense rising.

<i>*He is up to something, and I have the feeling I won't like it,*</i>
Mara told Skywalker through the Force and Luke nodded slightly.

<i>*Be careful, Mara. I don't want you ending up in the med center,*</i> He
sent her with heartfelt compassion and for a moment Mara was overwhelmed by
the depth of feeling he was transmitting.

<i>*I haven't been the Emperor's Hand for nothing, Skywalker!*</i> Mara
Jade snapped to cover her surprise and she felt Luke cringing. With a nod
towards Tovar she resumed her attack stance and waited.

Luke watched as the two opponents circled each other slowly, assessing
the other's weaknesses. He felt Michaan and Malaar stepping beside him and
their signatures in the force were emanating fear and nervousness. The Jedi
was about to probe further when Michaan bent his head slightly and stepped
closer to him.

"Master Skywalker," the young man began tentatively and Luke inclined his
head towards the man to indicate he had heard him but never leaving his
eyes off the couple fencing in front of him. "Remember last night when I
said that we use a similar weapon to the light saber, only it is for
ritualistic purposes?"

"Yes, Michaan, I remember," Luke answered, his danger sense flaring up ever
so slightly. He felt the other man's nervousness increase with a tinge of
guilt and fear.

"This blade is called Tal-tch'iym and the ritual is for ..." Michaan
swallowed and hesitated. "Master Skywalker, this woman, Mara Jade, she is
spoken for, right? She is in no need for the Tal-tch'iym ritual?"

"Michaan, what <i>is</i> the Tal-tch'iym ritual?" Luke asked and for a
moment it felt as if he could see what concerned the young alien.

"Mating," the young man pressed through clenched teeth and blushed all
over. "Tovar wants to mate. We are an old race and we only can reproduce
when a female is submitted to the Tal-tch'iym blade, it will connect to the
female's abdomen and put the seed in her. "

It took all of Luke's Jedi calm not to cry out loud. "You are saying that
if Mara Jade is hit by the blade Tovar is wielding she will get
impregnated?" He asked, barely containing his anger and disgust. Michaan
nodded and tried to avoid the ice-blue stare out of the Jedi's eyes.

"Please, Master Skywalker, Tovar misinterpreted Mistess Jade's boldness
when she offered to spar with him. She is not familiar with the
Tal-tch'iym, is she?"

<i>Even if she were I wouldn't tell you</i>, Luke thought to himself and
immediately regretted it <i>Jedi do not lie!</i>

"I don't think she is, Michaan. But I can tell you this," and here he
directly pinned the young Briem with his gaze. "She and I are connected
through the Force..."

"I know .. I saw what happened last night. You seem to be soul mates as
well as lovers, that's why I'm telling you!"

<i>Good,</i> Luke thought and nodded. <i>And I didn't even lie.</i>
Satisfied that Michaan had picked up at what he had suggested, he stretched
his sense towards Mara.

<i>*What is it, Skywalker, I'm kind of busy here!*</i> Mara snapped at him
through their bond.

Inwardly sighing, Luke replayed the conversation he had with Michaan to her
and he felt her frowning.

<i>*That son of a Wampa!*</i> Mara shot back and ducked when Tovar attacked
again.
<i>*I'll make sure he won't pull such a stunt ever again on any
unsuspecting female ..."</i>

<i>*Mara, don't... you can't kill him. He is a dignitary, remember!*</i> He
sent her when he felt a ripple of anger running through the Force.

Mara snorted at that but Skywalker could feel that she agreed to him.
+++
Slowly the man circled the trader, his blade sneaking wildly in front of
him. Green eyes watched the movements of the blade rather than the man and
sensing that Luke was doing the same, she sent him a heartfelt <i>*Thanks*</i>.

Ever since Skywalker had warned her about Tovar's real intention, she made
sure to avoid the blade and its wielder and stayed well out of his reach.
Gracefully, she stepped out of his way when he charged in on her and with a
twist of her hand, using the Force only slightly, the nasty looking weapon
was wrought out of her opponent's hand.

Pointing the tip of the lightsaber ever so slightly against his chin to let
him feel the heat emanating from the saber's blade, she raised an eyebrow.

"Master Tovar, because you are a representative of your government I will
spare your life, but what you tried to accomplish today, in front of your
friends and fellow-countrymen was despicable and disgraceful. You better
have never cross ways with me again or you'll not live to regret it." Her
voice had a deadly ring to it and she killed the saber with a loud snap.

The younger Briem picked up the ritualistic blade and with an apologetic
look towards Mara and Luke, he dragged the older man after him towards the
exit.
+++
For long moments the silence in the training hall was oppressive. Luke had
been so engrossed in his thoughts that he only barely heard the distinctive
hum of a light saber being ignited. He turned around and saw Mara hacking
at imaginary opponents.

<i>*Mara?*</i> he queried silently, and only the determined set of her jaw
indicated that she had heard him.

"I need a good hard fight, are you up to it, Skywalker?" Mara growled all
of a sudden and advanced towards him. From the way she walked, Luke could
see she meant business. She was carefully rolling off on the balls of her
feet, his father's lightsaber resting effortlessly but firmly in her right
hand.

"Go ahead," Luke nodded and prepared himself. At the last moment, when her
saber came down in a wide arc of blue, he snapped up his own, igniting it
shortly before both blades met in angry hisses. They were enemies,
opponents who sought each other's weaknesses as they battled. Neither of
them used the Force as they circled each other, attacking, blocking and
parrying the vicious blows and hacks as the two Jedi sparred. To anyone it
seemed as if they were both intent on killing each other but they both knew
they needed the let-out, even considering physical harm.

They had been fencing for several minutes when Luke managed to twist the
saber out of her hand but before he could challenge her further, Mara made
a back-flip and her saber was called back into her hand. Again the woman
started in on him, attacking him with blow after blow until she felt her
arms weakening but she couldn't stop. All the frustration she felt at the
hands of the Jedi Master came to the surface and with what had happened
with Tovar, she turned to the one being she could vent her anger at - Luke
Skywalker.

<i>*Mara! Stop it!*</i> she ignored Luke's voice in her mind and advanced
further, trying to corner him. But Luke was not fazed by her determination
and instead of pulling back, he advanced as well and their blades meeting
again in a deadly mocking kiss. With their arms raised high over their
heads, their bodies met and for a moment the air was knocked out of their
lungs.

Mara stared at Luke and became aware of how close and intimate their bodies
touched. She killed the blade and stepped away from him, avoiding the hurt
look on the Jedi's face. Her body trembled and only with utmost willpower
she tried to suppress the shudders racing through her body.

<i>By the Force, why me?</i> she thought and hid her face behind a towel
she had snatched up from one of the benches lining one side of the walls.
<i>Why do I feel so attracted to him? It's not fair. He is a Jedi!</i>

Luke had watched her and when she had turned away he had shut down his
saber as well. He had enjoyed their little sparring in the solitude of the
gym. Here, they could banter and train without the suspicious eyes of every
one and only citizen of Coruscant. But he too had been aware of the
undercurrents of sexual tension coursing between them. He strolled over to
her and gladly accepted the water bottle she was holding out for him.

"Thanks," he murmured and took several deep gulps. Mara watched him,
watched as errant water droplets ran down his jaw and his throat, down over
the sweat drenched top he was wearing. Skin that stretched over taut
muscles and glistened in the artificial light of the training hall. The
young trader almost reached out to touch the muscles but she suppressed the
urge and swung around on her heels.

<i>Get a grip, Mara!</i> she told herself off. <i>This is the Jedi Master,
isn't it enough that I almost got a taste of carnal knowledge of him?</i>
Shaking her head as if to clear it, she did not notice that Luke had
stepped closely behind her and when she turned towards him, their bodies
touched.

"I-I better go now," Mara gasped as her drenched torso came into contact
with Skywalker's chest. <i>So easy to give in</i>, a voice taunted her.
<i>He is yours to take, Mara. Don't be a fool!</i> Shivering she stepped
away but was immediately stopped when she felt Skywalker's hand on her arm.

"We need to talk," she could hear Luke's voice as if from afar and with the
last threads of her willpower she tried to focus on his voice, tried to
concentrate on what the Jedi Master was telling her.

"There's nothing to talk about, Skywalker," she said through clenched teeth
and freed herself, but she felt her mutinous body was unable to take the
few steps to leave the gym. "Don't you think we have talked enough? We made
a mistake and last night ..." she could not talk about the kiss and the
Force exchange without feeling all the sensations she had felt then coming
back to her mind.

"Last night, the kiss, was magical, Mara. Can't you see?" Luke tilted her
chin up, gently nudging her to lock her eyes with his. "The Force is
telling us something and I think we should heed it. And after what happened
last night almost everyone on Coruscant will see it as a known fact that we
are together."

<i>Together!</i> the word pounded inside her brain. "Skywalker, we both
know that this is not true. You and I ...," she closed her eyes against the
piercing ice-blue of his stare for a moment only to snap them open again
when she felt the feather like touch of his thumb against her cheek. "Don't
you see? What happened between us was just two people feeling lonely and
giving in to urges that were hormone driven. We would never pledge
life-long partnership to each other if we take a moment to think about it,"
she tried to avoid his eyes when she looked up but she couldn't. She could
not avoid the small intake of breath and the hurt look on his face.

Finally submitting to the urge of touching him, she gently rested her palm
against the stubbly side of his cheek. "You are still in love with Callista
and you would feel as if you had betrayed her, when we both wake up from
this insanity..."

"Callista?" Luke had difficulties to get the name out. "This has nothing to
do with Callie, she left me, and this is just between the two of us."

Mara shook her head and finally felt the power to step away from him,
twisting her fists deeply into the towel that still hung around her neck.
"You told me so when you were drunk, Skywalker. You still love her and you
should value yourself and the love of her higher than a quick tumble with
an Ex-Assassin."

The Jedi flinched and spun around as if her words had hit him like a whip.
"I never told you about how I feel about Callie, Mara. You are just making
it up." He sighed then pinched the bridge of his nose with his finger. "But
maybe you are right, maybe you are not worth the trouble."

Now it was Mara's turn to flinch but she quickly swallowed the barb that
rose to the surface.
"For once you speak the truth, Jedi," she said softly, her voice shivering.
"I for one value our friendship more than anything else and I won't let
anything come between us. Even if I'm not worthy to be called a friend."

"Mara, that's not what I said!" Luke retorted and faced her angrily. "You
really have a way of twisting the words in my mouth. Do you think we would
be having this conversation if I'd thought you were not worth it? Sithspit,
Mara, you really have a twisted view of the world. We have been dancing
around this issue for what? Days? Weeks? Years?" he asked and stepped
closer to her. "Ever since Myrkr there was this connection between us and
don't you deny it!"

Mara laughed at that and shook her head but even to her ears the laughter
sounded more like a sob. <i>I can't let it happen!</i> she reminded herself.

"Even if it is true, don't you think we should be content with what we
have?" She dared to look into his face and immediately regretted it. She
could not bear the raw emotion freely displaying in his eyes. "Look,
Skywalker. We almost made a mistake and Leia saved us from that. Last night
was a blunder which we will have a long time to live down, let's not
destroy our friendship. I'm not good at relationships, you know that as
well as I do. Getting into bed together would hurt us both, would hurt you.
I'm not the woman you could be content with and you are not the type who
would be content with what I'm able to offer," Drawing in a shuddering
breath she noticed through their Force-bond that Luke wanted to interrupt,
so she held up a hand and shook her head. "I'm not good at this, Skywalker.
Never have been and never will. Unlike me, you have dreams, hopes and you
have to admit, you have a somewhat romantic outlook on life in general and
on the woman in your life in particular. You always wanted more and you
deserve that."

Luke watched her and wondered how she had gotten such a deep insight of
him. In all those years that they knew each other they had always carefully
avoided talking about their emotions or their past and future
relationships. To hear such an accurate assessment of himself from her
hurt, but what hurt even more was that she thought so little about herself.
Reaching out, he cupped her cheek with his left hand and bent his head to
rest it against her brow.

"And what about your hopes? Your wishes, Mara?" he rasped and he could feel
her shivering beneath his touch.

"Luke ..." her voice trailed away when she felt the gentle probe of Luke's
mind. "I have no hopes in this direction. I know who I am and that lo- that
is out of my reach." She had almost said it. She had almost admitted that
she craved for love - for his love. She wanted to shake her head but
suppressed the notion, unwilling to end the soft touch of forehead against
forehead. <i>No,</i> she thought. <i>I don't love him, I can't!</i>

"You need someone who truly loves you, not some meaningless tryst that
leaves both parties unsatisfied after a while. And I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me, Mara, you never can," Luke's voice sent ripples of
pleasure down her spine. "Mara," his voice was heavy with undisguised
passion. "I want you."

Mara understood him only too well and she was more than willing to give in
to the wanting of the Jedi Master. She was familiar with want and need, she
had experienced these emotions herself for the past ten years and she was
glad that he had not mentioned love, the one emotion that put such a deep
fear into her.

<i>So easy to give in</i>, she thought as she realized that her lips were
mere inches from the Jedi's. <i>I want him, too,</i> Mara admitted silently
to herself.
<br>Luke's thoughts were on a similar line. He had felt compelled to tell
her that he harboured far deeper feelings for her than need and want, but
he knew Mara good enough to know that she would bolt the moment he would
speak of love.

"Want me?" he asked instead and he held his breath till Mara nodded an
affirmative yes. The tingling of the power exchange was not as overwhelming
as it had been but then again they both had grown accustomed to its
frequent happenings and when their lips met, their senses mingled and the
Force around them manifested itself again, like it had a day ago at the dance.

The Jedi felt like nothing before, his senses went into overload as he
tried to smell, taste and touch Mara all at once as they tore at each
other's clothes. Her scent was more intoxicating than any drug known in the
galaxy and the taste of her skin was sweeter than any delicacies he had
ever tasted. Caressing the small of her back with his right hand he bent
his head and let his gaze travel lovingly over her perky breasts after he
had almost ripped the tank top apart that she had been wearing. In awe he
cupped one of her perfect breasts with his left hand, weighing the fullness
in his palm and slowly brushing the nipple until it was teased into a tight
rosy pearl.

Mara watched him as his eyes widened at her obvious pleasure of his touch
and she had to battle hard not to chuckle. He must have felt it though and
his head jerked up and watched her face.

"You are beautiful," he breathed which send another shiver down her spine.
"Not just this ..." to emphasize he lightly gave her breast a squeeze.
"<i>You</i> are beautiful, Mara." With this he bent his head and kissed her
deeply. Mara groaned into his mouth and gasped when his lips left her and
marked a hot trailed down her jaw, her throat and onto her breasts and
she arched further into his mouth when he started suckling on one of her
breasts.

Mara's senses whirled and she arched her whole body into Luke's touch. The
sensation almost too much for the young woman. She moaned when she felt his
teeth grazing her nipples and she staggered backwards into the wall as she
lost her footing. She did not care for the wall scraping against her bare
back as she caressed Luke's head, tousling his hair which was again too
long to befit a Jedi Master but she loved it. In fact she loved all of him
and the things he was making her feel. When Luke hefted her up into his
arms, Mara gripped his strong shoulders, revelling in the feel of rippling
muscles beneath her fingertips.
<br>
She shuddered when she felt herself being lifted and Luke's hard erection
brushed gently against the hidden layers of her feminine core. She wanted
him, needed him to make her whole and searched his lips as she wrapped her
legs around his hip.
Barely, she was aware that Luke's shields were faltering slightly, but she
was so overwhelmed by the taste and feel of his tongue and hands on her
that she did not care for one minute if they were broadcasting their love
making to any Force-sensitives in the city.

<i>*We are safe,*</i> she heard Luke whisper inside her head as if to
reassure her. <i>*The barriers are still in place... barely.*</i>

Mara laughed at that and let her hands roam down on his chest and further
down until she could grip his manhood. What she could feel was amazing.

<i>*I never thought a Jedi would be so well endowed,*</i> she sent him and
she felt his chuckle in the Force. <i>*But a Farmboy would*.</i> A brief
flash of a memory long forgotten crossed her mind, a young boy and an even
younger girl, limbs entwined after their first love-making. A Farmboy that
had spoiled young Mara for any other man, until now. She wanted this, she
wanted to become one with this man, even only physically as she knew
Skywalker's heart still belonged to his lost love Callista. The few men she
had recreated with had not quenched the longing that she could not
understand. Not one man in her past was able to fill the void she had been
feeling ever since that wonderful night and day in a cave in the Toshe
desert on Tatooine with her Farmboy. Not until now. She groaned when she
felt Luke's tongue invading her mouth again, caressing, teasing and demanding.

Luke did not sense her disturbing thoughts as he tried to split his
awareness between all the sensations he experienced from kissing, touching
and tasting Mara and also protecting them both with a force shield and
keeping nosy passers-by at bay and away from the gym hall. He wanted so
desperately slow the pace at which they were going, wanted to slow the
racing of his heart as it drummed against his rib cage, but all his calming
techniques failed him. He needed her, needed her with a determination that
was almost brutal. All he could feel and taste was the woman in front of
him, Mara, who leant against the wall while he slipped her legs around his
waist, opening her up for him.
<br>
He then stilled his movements, his mind was threatened to be swept away and
he desperately focused only on his throbbing shaft which pushed at the
entrance of her liquid warmth. Raising his head, he searched for her
passion-filled gaze.

"Mara," he croaked and her head snapped up from the soft resting place of
his neck. "Are ... are you sure?" he forced out of oxygen-starved lungs.

"Yes," he barely heard her whisper and with this, all his doubts dissolved
and with a desperate lunge forward he sheathed himself deeply into her
velvety warmth with one powerful stroke. Only at the fringe of his
perception he felt the impact of his thrust, as they both slammed into the
wall behind Mara, felt the momentary pain emanating from his partner and he
drew her away from the wall and supporting her solely with his strong arms.

"Mara," he breathed and felt her arms encircle him. They both raised their
heads in unison and stared at each other.

"D-don't stop now," Mara breathed and slowly gyrated her hips against him.
She could still see stars in front of her mind's eye but not so much from
the pain she had experienced when her back had painfully connected with the
wall, but from the onslaught of feelings she had felt when Luke had entered
her for the first time. <i>The first time,</i> she mused as she looked
deeply into his blue-eyes. <i>It doesn't feel like the first time,</i> she
thought. <i>It feels as if he belongs, it feels as if he is reclaiming me
...</i> her thoughts dissolved when she felt Luke moving inside of her,
pushing into her deeply only to withdraw from her and to plunge into her
again. The rhythm was intoxicating and she could feel herself responding on
her own accord. <i>Yes, I want this,</i> she thought as she held onto his
shoulders and met his thrusting hips with forward motions of her own hips.
All they could both think of was the pleasure of each other and their
bodies moved frantically to adjust to the desire and need rising in them both.

Despite their need to join together, Luke could feel that they both were
holding back, albeit for different reasons. When he tried to probe her
mind, he could feel that Mara was scared of something but was giving
herself freely to him, even only her body. With him trying to hold up the
barriers and concentrating on Mara, it was a great strain of his split
concentration abilities and every time he wanted to open himself more to
Mara, he could feel the barriers swindling around them. Cursing, he
re-established the barriers again.

He could feel their force senses mingling, although it was not as strong as
they had when they had shared their kiss last night. But still it was a
sensational experience both gratifying body and mind.

<i>What will it be like if we are both concentrating solely on each other,
without shielding us from the outside world?</i> Luke thought and renewed
the kisses he was bestowing on her neck. Beneath his lips he could feel
Mara's erratic heart beat as he drove them both to their final pleasure.

When their passion had subsided and both were able to breathe evenly again,
Luke's head rested against her brow.

"I'm sorry, Mara," he breathed softly and brushed ever so slightly over her
ribs only to rest his hands just beneath the swell of her breasts. "I
wanted our first time together to be in a romantic setting with candle
light and a comfortable bed, not ..."

"Propped up against the wall of the work-out hall?!" Mara finished for him
and raised her hands slowly to cup his face. "I don't care where it
happened, I'm glad it did at all. But next time we use a bed, I've had
enough of this unlikely places thing," she said with a smirk and kissed him
deeply before he could reply.

"Next time?" Luke groaned out, but it was swallowed by her luscious mouth.
<i>*Does that mean we will be doing this again?*</i> he sent her through
the Force and he could feel his heart and hope rising when he felt her
affirmative sensation. He already felt the need to be with her again, to
fill his whole being with her perfection but he also knew that they could
get caught any time now, their allotted time for the gym having run out
long ago.
<br>
Reluctantly, he slipped from her, resulting in their joined moans of
protest. Gently, he let her down onto the ground and both felt the strained
muscles due to the unusual situation of their love-making.

<i>*Will we ever make it as far as a bed?*</i> Mara asked him while she
bent to retrieve her torn tank top and trousers. She watched with desire as
Luke first slipped into his pants and when he noticed, he threw her a grin.

<i>*I don't know, Mara. You are too damn sexy,*</i> Luke retorted through
their Force bond and they both laughed.

Mara had finished dressing and watched her lover as he dressed in his Jedi
Blacks again. She liked the way that the boldfaced Farmboy was coming to
the surface during and shortly after their lovemaking, she definitely
preferred that to the Jedi Master. Mara was deeply engrossed in her musings
about Skywalker that she missed Luke's outstretched hand towards her.

"What is it, love?" he asked softly and a shudder of pleasure but also fear
rippled through her, disturbing her signature in the Force.

"What did you say?" she asked breathlessly.

"I asked you what was wrong," Luke said, oblivious to the endearment he had
used.

Mara could feel the sincerity behind the slip and she let it pass. In fact
part of her had basked in the knowledge that she was indeed Skywalker's
love while her other part, the one that was still being held in thrall by
the Emperor and his dark clutch, shuddered at the thought.
"Oh, I'm fine," Mare said and gave him a brilliant smile that not only lit
up her face but gave a new glimmer to her green eyes as well. She took
Luke's still outstretched hand and stepped into his embrace.

"We have to go, Mara," Luke whispered softly into her ear as his face
nuzzled in the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply her scent.

"I know, so it is back to the Jedi Master?" she teased but part of her felt
her heart clench.

"'Fraid so," Luke responded and gave her a quick peck on her brow. He did
not trust himself to kiss her on the lips without wanting more and more of
her and then being unable to stop. <i>If Mara ever finds out what kind of
hold she has over me, she can kill me and I wouldn't even put up so much as
a fight,</i> Luke thought as he disbanded the shields he had resurrected
around the gym earlier and hacked in the access code for the door.

Stepping outside, his composure changed and before Mara's eyes she saw the
transformation from Farmboy and lover to the austere and calm Jedi Master.
She frowned at that and Luke sensed Mara's thoughts. For a short moment he
allowed himself to brush gently over her cheek with his left hand.

"You cannot have the Farmboy without the Jedi Master, Mara. That's what I
am," he said firmly and Mara nodded. Sending a warm wave of reassurance to
her, they headed towards Luke's apartment.
<center><hr width=300></center>
Down in the hall Leia had felt a small tingling in the Force and she
frowned. She knew that quite a number of Force-sensitive beings were
residing in the palace at the time being but it had felt familiar. When she
looked around she saw her brother advancing towards the lifts with Mara
Jade at his side. Reaching out with the Force she felt the familiar
barriers surrounding Mara's mind but when she probed her twin, she felt the
rigid Jedi barriers up as well. If it was for her benefit or for Mara
Jade's Leia did not know.

Leia greeted her with a smile, even if she was still cross with her brother
for leaving the party early - and with Mara Jade of all people.

"Luke! Mara," she said and hugged her brother. He even felt different and
when she probed gently she could feel the lingering smell of a woman on
him. Her sharp intake of breath was not lost on her brother.

<i>*Leia,*</i>, he sent her as a warning. <i>*Not a word!*</i>

<i>*Of course not, who am I to tell you how to live your life?*</i> Leia
snapped back through their Force-bond. <i>*Just let me know when I have to
pick up the pieces again*</i>.

<i>*I will*</i>, Luke replied calmly which surprised his sister.

<i>Does he really know what he is letting himself in this time?</i> she
asked herself and turned towards Mara. The trader looked unusually subdued
and if she hadn't have picked up upon her brother's feelings through the
Force, she could have sworn, the woman was detached from all of this. But
the strong barriers she had created where a sure sign that the trader was
not as unaffected as she wanted to appear.

"So how did the sparring go with the Briem?" Leia asked and saw that Mara
flinched and Luke was inhaling sharply. "What?" she challenged.

"Leia, Master Tovar will not attend any further negotiations with the
Republic. He was accompanied home by his friends," Luke answered matter of
factly.

Leia looked from her brother to Mara Jade and back again. "What did you
do?" Remembering that Tovar wanted to spar with Mara Jade, she fully turned
towards the woman and stabbed an accusing finger at her.

"What did <i>you</i> do? I thought that you as an Ex-Imp you had more
brains than to rouse a dignitary of the New Republic!" Leia said, her voice
dangerously low.

"Leia," Luke started but stopped when his twin whirled around and met his
gaze with a deadly stare out of brown eyes.

"Don't you <i>Leia</i> me, brother dear. I was talking to that
<i>friend</i> of yours here!"

Luke's jaw set firmly. "Leia, stop ... it!" Skywalker said and stared down
at his twin sister. "Tovar wanted to..."

"I can speak for myself, Skywalker," Mara cut in and gave both of them a
haughty look. Turning towards Leia, she put her hands on her hips,
forgetting that the short jacket she was wearing was revealing more than
she thought, like the fact that her tank top underneath was ripped open
from hem to hem. While she didn't notice Luke Skywalker surely did. "What
Skywalker here wanted to say is that your oh so well behaved dignitary
wanted to have little baby Briem with me in the middle of the work-out
hall," she blushed slightly when she remembered what else had been done in
said hall.

"What?" Leia was able to mutter. "I don't understand ... what did he do?"

"He wanted to impregnate me with some ritualistic weapon, apparently he
thought I make a good enough mommy to his off-spring without having the
questionable pleasure of being courted first," Mara snapped. She caught
Luke's stare down her body and when she followed his gaze, feeling the
intensity of his feelings through their bond, she quickly closed another
button on her jacket.

<i>*Can it, Jedi!*</i> Mara sent him but she had to smile despite herself,
softening her tone.
Leia had finally noticed her friend's dishevelled state as well.

"I'm sorry, Mara Jade ... I ... I thought ... Nevermind what I thought,"
she shook her head dismissively. "If you want to place an official
complaint, please meet me in my office in the afternoon."

"She will," Luke said and met Mara's eyes with an raised eyebrow when he
felt a tendril of anger coming his way from her. "What?" he asked.

"What do you think you are doing, Skywalker?" Mara asked, her temper coming
to the surface again. "I can speak for myself and I won't press charges
against that sorry excuse of a human. Not after what happened ... I mean
... They will need evidence," she cut herself short and met his blue eyes
with a cold emerald stare of her own. <i>*They will probably see it as an
attempt of rape, how am I going to explain to them that I had sex shortly
afterwards?*</i>

Blushing deeply, Luke nodded and tried to ignore the inquiring look of his
twin.

<i>*You are right, Mara,*</i> he managed to send Jade and tried to suppress
his blush that was burning his face.

The nagging feeling that something had happened between the two had
increased and while Leia was studying the pair, she had to admit that
despite their more usual bantering, there was an underlying tension of ...
<i>What?</i> she asked herself. <i>Anger, frustration?</i> Then it hit her.
<i>It all makes sense, somehow. Mara's refusal to press any charges as she
knows that she has to pass a med test, Luke's unfamiliar presence in the
Force and that smell....</i>. Blushing like her brother, Leia tried to calm
her turbulent thoughts.

"Well then, I better get going," Leia said and tried to be as nonchalant as
ever. "Just make sure you won't get caught in any more public places you
two. Last night was already enough to last me a life-time." With this she
excused herself and left two very dumb-struck Jedi in her wake.

"Does she know?" Luke asked and Mara's head snapped up to look at him.

"She is your sister, how do I know?" she breathed.
+++

TBC

Hello all,

here is the next installment.

WARNING:
I would like to ask anyone having problems with very ADULT situations (like
consentual graphic sex between two adults) to stop reading right here and
delete the story. I mean it as I don't want to find any flame mails of
Wampa shit in my inbox, thank you very much !!
Additionally, if ppl think they have to comment on the way I write my
vision of Luke, then all I can say: tough dren, but I really do not care
about *Poor Lukie would never do such a thing* - in my AU he does :P

Okay, 'nough said, on with the story.

Disclaimer: They are not mine, I don't make money out of it and no
copyright infringement intended. And I just WRITE FOR MY ENJOYMENT :)

Special thanks go to Sherry, my beta reader, without her suggestions,
overall friendship and witty comments, the continuation of this story
wouldn't be possible.
Also thank yous to Skywalker's Dream and Jenn for their little frolics to
keep me laughing and to Jades Hand for her innumerous updates on Farscape
and her nagging about me finishing *that other story*. Thank you guys :)
Remember folks: I'll be lost without you ... ;-)

Summary: After their first lovemaking, Luke and Mara run into Leia of all
people and while Leia won't get fooled by their pretense of nothing
happened, something in their friendship is definitely changing. Can they
become more than friends? Or will the new turn in their relationship
destroy not only their friendship but also Mara?

Rating: NC 17 - so please move along, there is nothing to see ;-)

Cold Equation - Chapter Eight

Han Solo was surprised to see his wife home so early and the second he saw
her coming in he knew that she was in one of those moods. Either some
fellow Senator had been disagreeing with her or her brother dear had dared
to misbehave. If it was a bet, Han would take the latter.

"I don't believe it!" Leia murmured with an exasperated sigh and shot her
husband a credulous look. "Here I was trying to find out what is going on
between the two and they are sleeping together," when she noticed her
husband's silly grin on his face she snorted. "In the gym hall...I knew
something was up .... By the makers, that has to stop! What if they had
been caught?"

"Leia, you always wanted the kid to have a girl-friend of his own so calm
yourself down!" Han interjected and suffered another stern look from his
princess. "Look Leia, those two are perfect for each other, let them vent
off their emotions and eventually they will fall into a routine, just like
we did ..."

"What do you mean fall into a routine?" Leia snapped and Han berated
himself silently. Bad choice of words, buddy.

"What I mean is, you will sooner or later announce their marriage," Han cut
off when he saw the deadly look on Leia's face. "What?"

"Marriage? Are you mad, you Corellian oaf? If those two marry, Luke's work
is null and void. People will shun him, I told him as much and he knows of
the consequences of being married to the Emperor's Hand."

"EX Emperor's Hand, Leia. The NR will accept her. By the makers, Leia, they
accepted Talon and me, don't you think they will accept Mara as well?" Han
asked and rubbed his wife's shoulders absent-mindedly. "Besides, Luke
deserves happiness, and if he finds it in the arms of Mara Jade, then so be
it. He suffered too much already at the hands of other women..."

Leia bit her lip. "That's what I'm afraid of, Han, my love." She shivered
and turned towards one of the huge windows. "Mara is the first Force-strong
woman in his life, if she leaves him like the others, I don't think he will
ever recover."

"Well I doubt, that she will leave him, my love. She and Luke are just like
two sides of one medal, they cannot be separated, even if they wanted.
Their bond through the Force is even stronger than yours to Luke. I think
this is only stops when one of them is dead."

Leia stared at her husband and desperately hoped that her husband was wrong.
+++
After Leia had left them standing in front of the lifts, Luke had ushered
Mara into one of them and in awkward silence had ridden up to Skywalker's
apartment. Now that the rush of adrenaline and passion was over, they both
felt subdued and especially Mara was feeling nervous.

What does Skywalker expect of me? she asked herself silently. Does he think
we'll continue this in his bed? Mara felt tired and more than one muscle
was hurting her. I'm getting old, she chided herself.I should work out
more. Immediately, she remembered from which kind of work out the sore
muscles came from and hiding a blush from Skywalker, she waited in the
small hall after the Jedi Master had led her into his apartment.

"Care for a shower?" Luke asked when he reached Mara. He too felt somewhat
nervous and wasn't quite sure how Mara would react. When she nodded he
said: "I put out a new shirt for you." and went to the bedroom.

Thankful that he wasn't pushing her into anything, Mara made her way slowly
over to the refresher and started to undo her boots. When she had finished
undressing, she was surprised that Skywalker had not tried to take the
shower with her so far and when she stepped underneath the soft warm spray
of the shower, she let out a long breath. Her arm muscles cried out in
protest when she tried to raise her arms over her head in order to wash her
hair. Groaning loudly she almost missed the soft thud of the door to the
bedroom.

"I've gotten you a fresh top to wear. It will do till you return to the
Fire," Luke said and put the black shirt onto the counter beside the
shower. He had stripped off his tank top and tunic and was only wearing his
black trousers.

The glass walls of the stall did little to conceal the woman beneath the
running faucet and without hesitation the young Jedi let his gaze travel
over the small but firm frame of his best-friend turned lover. Their eyes
met and Luke immediately felt her predicament.

"You need any help?" his voice having a definite catch to it and Mara could
feel the slight ripple of anxiety coming from him through the Force. Not
trusting her voice to answer she only slightly nodded her head and watched
as Luke stripped out of his pants and joined her beneath the running water.
Mara was surprised to see no bashful hesitation in this move and silently
she reminded herself that Luke was indeed not the monk-like Jedi everyone
thought of him.

Luke chuckled and Mara quirked an eyebrow at him. He raised his hands and
laughed. "I know, I know, I'll stay out of your head, Mara," he said and
gently kneaded her shoulders and collarbones.

"You know, I can't understand why people think you are like a monk, must be
the Jedi blacks," Mara said and grinned devilishly. "I bet you had a fair
share of women between Wedge, Han and yourself."

Luke shook his head and grinned. "I bet you had more," the second he said
it, he knew it had been wrong. He could see her visibly blanching. "I'm
sorry, Mara ... I ... was out of line."

"No, it is alright. Everyone seems to think that, so why not you as well.
After all, I was a dancer at Jabba's palace and the Emperor's hand," she
said dismissively and a stab of jealousy ran through Luke.

"How many?" he asked all of a sudden, his voice having a deadly ring to it.

"What?" Mara asked and yelped when Luke's hands dug into the tender flesh
of her shoulders.

"Tell me how many there were? How many before me?" Skywalker pressed
through gritted teeth and Mara could feel the determination coming from
him. Jerking away from him, she was seething with hurt and anger.

"I don't think it is any of your business, Skywalker," she answered him
haughtily but when she saw the fierce anger emanating from his eyes, she
was reminded of another Skywalker. Shuddering and ignoring the strain on
her muscles, Mara readied herself to push Luke out of her way if she had to.

"Mara ..." Luke's voice reverberated through the small refresher unit.

"How many did you have, Skywalker? Would you tell me which number I have in
all the long line of women in your bed if I asked you?" Mara countered and
immediately regretted it when she saw Luke nodding. Bending her head
slightly, she bit her lower lip. "Two, not counting you," she said in a low
voice and Luke had to use his heightened Jedi senses to actually understand
her.

Two? And I'm the third? he asked himself. I have been a fool not to trust
her and virtually accuse her of sleeping around.

"Mara, I'm sorry," Luke whispered and embraced her tentatively. "I'm a
fool." Mara felt his sincerity through their bond and if she was true to
herself, she knew with that her reputation as the Ex Emperor's Hand and
ex-smuggler, people had a preconceived image of her. Slowly, she raised her
arms to his waist and hugged him back.

"So," Mara asked and raised her head to meet his gaze. "Which number do I
have on your list? Shall I prepare myself for a two digit number?" She had
intended it to be a joke, but the question came out much harsher.

Luke shook his head and his gaze darted away from her for a moment. Mara
held her breath while he seemed to make up his mind.

"Five," he replied, then shrugged his shoulders. "Well actually four that I
remember, the first ... I took a hit on my head and all is a bit fuzzy. I
can only remember bits and pieces, fair skin, lips, green eyes, emotions
and sand... So, yeah five, you included."

Trust Luke to have a dreamgirl, Mara thought and grinned but something
about his description tugged at her mind. He couldn't, could he? she asked
herself and tried to conjure up the image of her farmboy, but try as she
might, she couldn't. She discarded the thought and chided herself for being
so foolish. I saw his death certificate, along with his parents'. He is dead.

"Turn around," Luke's whispered words yanked her out of her reverie and
entranced, Mara let him guide her facing the wall. She shivered when she
felt his hands in her hair, massaging the cleaner deeply into her scalp and
working up an abundant lather. Mara swayed slightly, enjoying the massage
he was giving her and for a moment she thanked all his former lovers who
had initiated him in doing such a lowly task as washing a woman's hair with
such great skill.

After he had cleaned and rinsed her hair, leaving Mara like putty in his
hands, he continued to massage her. His strong hands moving over the skin
of her shoulders and back with strokes and kneads that soothed and calmed
rather than aroused. Mara could feel herself being enveloped in his
presence and for the second time this day she let it happen, she let her
guards somewhat down and leant into the embrace. She felt safe and warm and
her mind came to a soothing rest. All she could do was breathe and feel and
from their connection in the Force it was all Luke wanted from her and so
she complied.

Unbeknownst to Mara, Luke had used a Jedi relaxation technique on her as he
had felt the strung-tight tension reigning her body and mind. Now as he
felt her deep slow breathing and the soft way she leant into his chest with
her back, he slowly put his arms around her and nuzzled his face in the
crook of her neck.

"Let's get you to bed, Mara," he whispered and he heard an indistinct
muffled sound coming over her lips. Shutting off the water he quickly but
lovingly towelled her off. Grinning to himself, he bent slightly and put
one hand beneath her knees, hoisting her up into his arms. Mara rested her
head on his shoulder and watched him from heavy lidded eyes. Her whole
body felt heavy and relaxed and she didn't care where Luke brought her.
When he laid her down on his bed she sighed contentedly and snuggled into
his bed linens.

Luke laughed softly as he watched Mara. He couldn't recall when he had seen
her so relaxed - ever. Her tough attitude was gone and in its stead was a
little girl that was too tired to strike up a conversation and once and for
all trusted the person opposite her. Sitting down beside her, Luke started
to rub her back, taking as much comfort from the touch himself as he was
giving her. He listened to Mara sighing contentedly again and shifted
slightly so he was sitting cross-legged beside the beautiful woman who was
occupying his bed.

"Luke?" Mara's voice sounded distant and small but sent a ripple of
pleasure down his spine nevertheless as she used his first name only on
occasion. "Thank you."

Luke smiled at that and bent over her, putting a soft kiss on her cheek.
"And thank you, Mara," he whispered hoarsely. Straightening up again, he
watched her as she slept, keeping watch over her like a Knight over his
lady. Luke had to chuckle over that comparison but he liked the idea. Soon
the events of the morning caught up with him as well and when he snuggled
close to Mara the last conscious thought he had was that of the warm body
of the woman he loved tightly wrapped in his arms.
+++
The sun had reached its peak and was now slowly descending over the horizon
of Coruscant when Mara slowly awoke. She felt safe and secure in a soft
cocoon of strong arms. Turning her head slightly to the left, she could see
Luke's body spooned to her back and for a moment she cherished the feeling
of comfort. Carefully, she touched his arm, he had slung over her waist and
tried to pry it off her, resulting in Luke's squeezing her more tightly
against his frame.

*Just a moment longer, Jade,* she felt his voice in her mind and silently
she conceded. Closing her eyes, she turned around to face him. Blue eyes
met hers sleepily and she could not resist to reach out and touch his
stubbled cheek lightly. Like a Corellian kitten, Luke rubbed his face
against her soft palm. His throat emitting purring sounds while Mara laughed.

*I never knew Tatooine has its own feline kind,* Mara sent him through
their Force bond, and Luke chuckled.

"Oh we have," he rasped and looked up. Mara shivered when she felt his gaze
on her, like a caress. "It's the rare Tatooine Tomcat," he dead-panned.
They both laughed at that and Mara had never felt so carefree and easy in
her life. The Farmboy definitely had a relaxing effect on her.

Luke grinned as he watched Mara laughing. She looked so beautiful when she
let go of all the pretence that was instilled in her for so long. Now she
was only a woman, a woman who was now relaxing with her lover. Heeding the
urge to kiss her, he bent over and gave her a soft kiss on her lips.

Mara enjoyed the kiss, letting the heavy feeling of passion flow freely
through her body and soul, but a tiny voice inside her head was nagging
her. Don't give in to him, he is Jedi. She frowned at that. I'm Jedi as
well so it shouldn't bother me, she thought but there was still some
feeling of premonition creeping in the back of her mind.

Luke had felt her troubled emotions and with a tendril of the Force he send
her reassuring thoughts. He had dreamt so long for this to happen that he
didn't want to jeopardise it in any way. Skywalker wondered at that.
Selfishness is of the dark side, he reminded himself but he shrugged off
the sentiment. For once I want to be selfish. I have been gallivanting all
over the galaxy to save it from the Sith lords, and I don't think it is too
selfish to wish for some sort of happiness. He grinned at that and kissed
Mara more deeply.

The woman beneath him moaned and Luke knew she was more than ready to
pursue the new aspect of their relationship. He gently pried himself off
her and sat up. Meeting Mara's surprised gaze he winked at her and reached
out for her arms. Hauling her into a sitting position he draped her shapely
legs over his thighs and drew her closer. They kissed and teased each other
slowly, their earlier quarrel forgotten.

"Luke!" Mara cried out in surprise when Skywalker drew her onto his lap.
She grinned when she felt his hard manhood rubbing against her belly and
leant forward to kiss him. Gentle hands moved around her hips, caressing
and rubbing the soft skin. All of a sudden Mara felt herself being lifted
and inch by inch by inch she was impaled by Luke's hardness.

*I didn't know you had that in you,* she chuckled and looked him straight
in the eyes.

*And I never thought you'd ever have a Jedi Master in you!* Luke retorted
and laughed at Mara's dumbfounded expression. *What? No taunts for me? Did
I best you, the great Mara Jade?*

"You are impossible, Skywalker," Mara whispered and enjoyed the slow, deep
and mesmerising upward thrusts Luke administered.

"No, Mara, just happy to be with you," Luke replied seriously, as he moved
slowly and deeply inside of her. Mara sighed softly and gazed deeply into
his sky-blue eyes. She straightened and felt the sensation of having him
inside her increasing. Kissing him softly she started to move likewise,
meeting his upward thrust with gyrating hips of her own.

Their lovemaking was slow, belying the fact that they both hungered for
each other and desperately desired their release. They needed each other,
needed to reassure each other that this was real and not another
Force-induced dream. Luke kissed her softly on her closed eyelids and
shifted slightly, one arm encircling her waist while his other hand came up
around her back and clamped down on her shoulder, increasing the friction
between their bodies.

Mara sighed and kissed him, trying to suppress the urge to move quicker and
harder against him.

"Open your eyes," Luke demanded hoarsely, and Mara complied with a
questioning look. "I want to see you when you come, Mara. Come for me," he
whispered and their eyes locked.

Mara moved slightly against him, then she felt his mind opening to her and
she let herself being wrapped up in him. Careful not to break eye contact,
they moved in unison, thrusting and gliding, pushing and gyrating until
Mara thought she could not bear it anymore. All she could see was Luke's
intent gaze, fixing her to the spot, searching the deepest secrets of her
soul, but she was not afraid. His hot look increased her passion, it let
the desire she felt for him surge freely through her as she gazed deeply
into her lover's eyes. The Force seemed to overwhelm her, as both neared
their release. She felt Luke becoming one with herself and she felt Luke's
sensation as he likewise became one with her. They were one being, one
breath, one heart beat.

Luke had felt the change in their lovemaking and he bent slightly forward
to kiss Mara. That simple kiss brought her over the brink of passion and as
she came Luke could feel all the sensation coursing through her body,
surprising and arousing him even more at the same time. He felt the shudder
of his release as he came inside her, feeling his own release as well as
the powerful reaction of Mara. Their foreheads rested against each other
and hands which had been roaming over their heated skin joined and their
fingers intertwined. The Force was surrounding them, coursing in light blue
flashes around them, feeding the bond that strengthened as well as
deepening it.

Feeling each other's emotions they also could sense each other's thoughts
like they had never felt before. There were no barriers between them and
Mara could feel all the hurt, anger but also joy that Luke only sometimes
let come to the surface.

*Luke? What is happening?* Mara asked, suddenly a deeply rooted fear coming
to the surface of her consciousness.

*I don't know,* Luke's voice echoed in her mind and in an instant Mara knew
he was experiencing the same sensations for the first time. *I have heard
about Force mind melts before but I never thought it was possible.* His
voice inside her head trailed away and he could sense a change in Mara's
mind, her equilibrium was all of a sudden darkened by something fiendish
and dark.

Something inside her uncurled, some deeply rooted memory unfolded and she
had the dreading feeling that she had experienced this kind of mind melt
before. Flashes of a twisted face appeared before her mind's eye and she
gasped. The presence she felt was dark and menacing. She shuddered
involuntarily and loosing her focus on the kiss and the last throes of
Luke's lovemaking, she lost contact with the mouth that had explored the
soft hollow of her own. The presence came nearer engulfing her, and a
wheezing voice reverberated through the room, through her whole being,
shattering the warm feeling of love and tenderness she had felt only
moments before. She was not able to see Luke's face anymore as it had
changed and twisted to that of Palpatine.

*Sith whore, Mara Jade, you are mine!* The Emperor's voice raged through
her, beating down on her body and consciousness blow after blow. *You will
never leave me, not for riches, nor man or the light side, you are mine
always!* Intense pain lunged at her, filling up every sense and fibre of
her being.

Invisible hands clutched her flesh, maimed and punished. The passion she
had felt only moments ago was driven away and substituted by the searing
pain of hatred and anger. Unsettling images of the Emperor bending over a
far younger Mara Jade, invading her personal space, invading her spirit and
body with his mind and flashes of the dark side of the Force raked through
her body, tore at the vulnerable fabric of her mind, ripped away the
barriers that she had learned to establish while in the presence of others,
leaving her open for destruction. Mara cried out when memories of an
incident came back to her with overwhelming power, unable to stop these
images she made Luke an unwitting spectator.

"NOO!" Mara gasped and she flung herself off Luke, trying to cut the bond
that was between them, but to no avail.

Mara writhed in pain as she remembered the Force bolts that had engulfed
her body once. Even now after so many years she could still feel the pain
racing through every fibre of her body, clenching the muscles of her limbs
and threatening to stop the erratic beating of her heart.

*You are a whore, Mara Jade. My Whore!* the voice of the Emperor
reverberated through her brain and she cried out in agony. The bolts had
now entered her body, the evil presence of the late Emperor not only
engulfed her but touched her innermost as well, brandishing the woman's
body with his ill touch. The dull pain following the images of the past
left the couple panting Luke felt sullied and dirty and yet the bigger part
of his soul felt great pity and compassion for the woman who had come to
mean so much to him. He reached out to her with the Force, the same Force
that the Emperor had used and twisted to hurt her and when he saw her
flinch, he closed his eyes for a moment.

Luke had shared her vision and the Force exchange flung him back onto the
bed. There he lay panting, the previous lovemaking and mind melt leaving
him drained. He shivered under the images that he had witnessed and for a
moment anger and disgust rose to the surface of his mind.

"What the ..." he cut down on the expletive and turned around to look at
Mara where she lay on the floor. She, too, was panting heavily but he could
sense rather than hear the sobs that were raking her body. Dragging himself
off the bed he knelt quickly beside her. "Mara, what happened?"

The young woman jerked away from him. "Don't touch me, don't!" she said
with a shivering voice and tried to control the fear she had.

*Mara, my love, what happened? Let me help you* Luke sent forth, trying to
reassure her, but her glare and the barriers she tried to build around her
let him hesitate.

*Mara, don't be stupid, you can't erect barriers against ...* Luke was
interrupted by Mara, who shrieked: "Get out of my head, Jedi. I don't need
another master!"

Mara scrambled to her feet and yanking her clothes back on, she tried to
get out of the bedroom. Luke grabbed her arm and they both became one.
Visions of the Emperor engulfed them both, almost overwhelming both of the
Jedi.

*Mara!* Luke sent her through the Force, but the Trader ignored his
pleading tone.

"Don't, please," she pleaded wearily as she edged away from him. "I
can't... can't let it happen ever again. One voice telling me what to do is
enough to last a lifetime, I don't want to be manipulated ever again."

Luke rubbed his hands raggedly over his face, trying to comprehend what had
happened to them. "Mara, you know I would never -" he was cut short when
Mara's lightsaber flew into her hand and was ignited instantly.

"Stay away from me, Skywalker, if you know what is good for you!" Mara
demanded hoarsely and edged away from him. The blade sizzled angrily when
she backed towards the door.
+++
Present Time - Coruscant med center

Luke woke up with a start and for the first few seconds he didn't know
where he was or what he was doing lying on a med center bed. Then the
recent events came back to him. Looking down on the woman who was sleeping
cradled in his arms, he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. Trying to make
sense why the Force had sent him these dreams. He was not proud of having
let her go after their last love making. He knew he should have prevented
her from leaving and should have investigated the vision he had shared with
Mara. Instead he had been so frightened at what he had seen, he had let her
take off in the Fire. Now ten weeks later, she was back again, wounded and
not one with the Force and still he was needing the same answers to his
questions.

Sending forth a tendril of the Force towards Mara, he felt her Force
signature slowly strengthening. Closing his eyes for a moment, he leant his
forehead against Mara's and concentrated on the still weak light in the
Force, nurturing it.

Little by little Luke became aware of the dream images that were haunting
Mara, and opening himself up more, he let them flow freely through his
mind. Images of her mission to retrieve the Jedi artifacts entered his mind
and soon he was engulfed by them. He could feel Mara trying to keep them at
bay unconsciously but with their bond that was beginning to strengthen
again after it had been severed so abruptly ten weeks prior, she could not
- would not succeed.

Skywalker braced himself for the onslaught of images, the pain and fear she
had felt when she left him after their last love-making. He could feel the
desperation with which she tried to banish the images of Palpatine out of
her mind, but she couldn't. Luke sighed softly and tried to soothe the pain
deep inside her, but he knew that in order to heal her from past wounds
both mental and physical, she had to participate freely. He just hoped she
would give him the chance to do so.

TBC

yep we are nearing the end at last :) Here is the new installment - the
one before last. The almost final chapter ... Can you tell I'm glad to get
rid of this story? <g>

This chapter is more or less very filler-ish as it wraps up some of the
threads still lying around but nevertheless I hope you enjoy it.

My special thanks go to Sherry for beta-ing this chapter again, her witty
comments and putting up with my nagging about her own fanfic <you girl
rock>, also Angela who pats my back every time I complain about writer's
block, Jackie for continuously keeping me updated on Farscape (I don't
think anyone of the major players dies !!! Una in denial mode <g>) ... oh
and you guys in general for giving me so much positive feedback .. it is
really appreciated :)

Summary: After Mara has returned to Coruscant wounded, Luke tries to find
out what led to all this mess and he finds out more than he had bargained
for... when he finds himself caught up in her dreams.

Rating: this time it is PG or G .. well no hot steamy sex or *Luke would
never have done that* scenes in here :)

Una

Alright ... enough chatter on with the continuation of COLD EQUATION

Chapter Nine

The images of what had happened when Mara left Luke in his apartment could
not be stopped, and at the fringe of her Force perception she could feel
Luke sharing them with her. Mara had planned on never letting him know
about her days back then but she was too weak to sever the bond that was
quickly growing stronger.

Mara tried again to shake off the images from her mind but try as she
might, she could not. Too deeply ran the damage the Emperor had inflicted
on a small child of fifteen standard years, and even after such a long
time, the repercussions of her punishment so long ago, were still affecting
her. The dream came rushing back, reliving the days ten weeks prior when
she had fled so hurriedly from Luke's apartment.

She had always wondered what the Emperor had meant when he had told her
that she would never love another man. Now she had first hand knowledge and
the pain that it caused almost threatened to overcome her. Steadying
herself against one of the marble columns in the entrance of the former
Imperial palace, she tried to quench the fear rising in herself.

"Miss Jade, can I help you?" One of the guards asked after he had stepped
closer to her. Her head snapped up and unseeing eyes stared at him. Drawing
in another breath, she shook her head.

"No, thank you," she managed to drag out of an unresponsive mouth. "I need
to get fresh air," she choked and on unsteady legs she sought the exit.
Outside the sun of Coruscant blinded her momentarily as she staggered
towards the spaceport across the city.

The voices and sounds of the city, that spanned the whole planet, were
overly loud in her ears, her mind only registering a cacophony of blaring
noises that made her head hurt. She was passing people and craft alike but
she could not, would not register anything. Her mind being held by the
images that her lovemaking with Skywalker had recalled. Wiping off the
sweat on her face she sought out mindlessly the shadows of a dirty looking
entrance. For the first time since she had left the former Imperial palace,
she took in her surroundings and noticed her headless flight had brought
her to a more questionable part of the city.

Mara knew this part as it had not changed much since the New Republic had
taken over. When she had still been the Emperor's Hand she had business to
attend to in this neighbourhood and the entrance to the building she knew
quite well. Wondering if the Force had led her here, she quickly ducked her
head and stepped over the soiled threshold and knew exactly where she was
heading.

The air was stifling and smelled as much of human refuse as well as cooked
food. This part of the city housed the lowest of the lowest. Cutthroats and
Ex-Imps who had not found their rightful place in the New Republic's order
had found shelter here. The place hadn't changed, the dealers of black
market goods still held their small stalls in the deep and darkened
recesses of the dilapidated building. Mara picked her way through huddled
creatures as well as food stalls and soon found herself lingering in front
of a small shop she knew well.

Upon seeing where she was and at which shop she had stopped, Mara was
certain that she had been led here by the Force, light or dark side she was
not certain. Apart from travelling with Ysalamiri Lizards for the rest of
her life to sever the bond that connected her to Skywalker and the Force,
she had to acquire Ysalamiri essence and this very shop offered this
particular good. Black-market Ysalamiri Essence.

When she had been still with the Empire she had frequented this shop on
almost a weekly basis, though back then it wasn't illegal and a lot of
Imperials knew about it. Imperial scientists had managed to extract a
certain body fluid that the Ysalamiri used to create the bubble with and
after long years of research had managed to extract an odor- and colourless
essence that severed any bond to the Force if injected in a Jedi or Sith
albeit temporarily. The Emperor had used this drug repeatedly on his Jedi
prisoners and also Mara had been subjected to it at one time. She knew it
would work and now she also knew that it was addictive if used over a
longer period of time.

The man behind the counter looked at her and immediately recognized her
face. Shivering, he hid himself behind a curtain but Mara had seen him and
grabbing the man by the dirty lapel of his tunic, she dragged him out of
hiding.

"Good to see you, Joohsan," she snarled and let go of the man, his stench
making her gag.

"Emperor's Hand, what ...c-can I do for y-you?" the man stuttered and tried
to straighten his crinkled tunic as well as he managed with his shivering
hands.

"I need some essence, you traded with it in former times, and I'm sure you
still have a stash of it hidden somewhere," Mara said and through the Force
she could feel the man's fear.

"Yes, I have," the man muttered, his eyes darting to and fro and always
avoiding her direct stare.

"How much?" Mara inquired her voice a deadly ring. Her eyes never left the
other man's face as she tried to probe his mind. His fear was genuine but
also laced with a portion of curiosity.

After he had told her the price, Mara tried to suppress the shock. The
injections would cut a fair share into her credit account but she knew she
had to do this. This was the most convenient way to rid herself of the
Force without too many people knowing. Even now her barriers were crumbling
and she knew she could not keep them up any longer. Once Luke was able to
contact her again through the Force, she knew she would give in.

Making sure the transaction could not be traced back to her, she paid for
the Ysalamiri essence and walked purposely back towards the exit. She felt
her barriers slipping more and more and if she did not use the injector
soon, Luke would know where she was and what she was about to do - and he
would stop her and most importantly, she would let him.

Groaning, she drew herself into a secluded corner of the building and after
having prepared the injector she looked at it for long moments. She could
feel the void in the Force the essence created and doubts crossed her mind.
But then again she thought about the consequences, weighed the pro and cons
and in her jumbled mind, with all the hurt and pain of the only too
recently relived events of her past, she quickly reached her decision. It
has to be done! she thought and bracing herself she raised the injector to
her exposed neck and the small needle pierced her skin, pierced into the
muscle that lay beyond and immediately her link to the Force was broken,
leaving Mara as if a large part of her had died.
+++
For a short moment the images were distorted and Mara's link to him
weakened. Luke's head snapped up and seeing Mara's seizure yelled for the
medics. The woman thrashed on the bed, as if her lungs were struggling
against the erratic faint beating of her heart to fight for air, fighting
to survive. Luke was shocked but the Force urged him onward. Straddling the
struggling Mara, he linked immediately with her. Through their link, Luke
found the little lump of clotted blood and got rid of it with a flick of
the Force. By the time the med droid, accompanied by Cilghal, came into the
room, Mara's heartbeat had returned to normal as Luke had massaged her
ribcage and with it her heart.

Luke self-consciously climbed off the bed and walked over to the window
while the Calamari checked Mara's vital signs. The silence stretched until
he could feel the other Jedi's presence standing beside him.

"It was good that you were here, Master Skywalker," Cilghal said and Luke
turned to face her.

"Can that happen again?" he asked, toying with the injector he had
unconsciously snatched from the bedstead earlier.

"Seizures like this are not uncommon after extensive operations. But I
don't think it will happen again," the Calamari said and motioned for them
to sit. "Can you tell me what happened?" Her eyes resting on the injector
as she posed her question. For the first time, Skywalker noticed it and he
quickly laid it upon a small table nearby.

"She was dreaming ..." he started, his shoulders slumping. "She relived the
first time, she used the essence, then she convulsed."

Cilghal picked up the injector and upon probing the liquid contained in it,
she gasped.

"I've heard about it but I always thought it was folklore ..." she
commented and met Luke's bewildered stare. "If you had bothered to read the
Jedi data pads on medicine, you'd know too," she said with a crooked grin
and Luke smirked at that. Every time he found new data pads with possible
Jedi lore on them, he skimmed the contents and then decided what to do with
them. Normally he kept the files on Jedi training while everything else was
handed over to his pupils at the academy.

"I should have been more thorough," he conceded. "So what do you know about
this?"

"As far as I can tell, the essence is distilled from a particular gland of
Ysalamiri. The Empire used it to subdue imprisoned Jedi to cut them off the
use of the Force," Cilghal said. She looked back towards Mara as the med
droid was still busying itself checking the read outs. "I never thought it
existed. That the technique hadn't survived the Rebellion, but obviously I
was wrong."

Luke nodded to that and shifted his gaze towards Mara. Due to my own
ignorance, I almost lost her, he berated himself. I should have picked up
on her thoughts but I didn't. I was too hurt by the whole experience, too
shocked at what the Emperor had done to her.

Cilghal put a webbed hand on his knee and smiled. "All we can do now is to
nurture her back to health and then we can heal her mental wounds, Master
Luke," she said gently, displaying quite openly her affection she held for
the Ex-Assassin and the Jedi Master. Luke doubted it would be that easy.

Mara needs love and affection but most of all she needs to rid herself of
the influence of the late Emperor, he thought. Closing his eyes he felt
Cilghal stir in front of him and soon he found himself alone with Mara once
more. Straightening himself he slowly made his way over to her bed and
watched the sleeping woman in front of him.

Skywalker watched the devices that monitored Mara's status, wondering how
his friends always saw him when he had returned from a mission only to be
dumped into a bacta tank again. The feeling of helplessness was
overwhelming him and he felt the anguish and agony his friends and family
must have felt when they had been in the very position innumerous times,
taking vigil over him as he now did over Mara.

Resuming his former position on the bed, he felt Mara turn towards him,
unconsciously seeking his presence physically when she was in no fit state
to seek him out in the Force. Luke smiled contently when he felt her Force
signature had strengthened again after her relapse.

All I can do now is wait, he told himself, and, closing his eyes, he let
himself once more being engulfed in Mara's dreams.
+++
Leia had felt the disturbance in the Force when Mara's heart had seized up.
Tempted to contact her twin, she had soon found out that he had controlled
the seizure and she had quickly closed her link to her brother again. She
needn't distract him.

The woman listened to the commotion in the kitchen where Han was taking
care of their children. Their chatter and good-natured banter soothing her
troubled thoughts somewhat. She smiled when she heard Anakin's small voice
over the tantrum.

I can count myself lucky, she thought. Having found my true love so early
in my life. She was not sure why she had been bestowed with so much
happiness whereas her brother had suffered so much. It was not fair! she
cried out silently and her head came to rest on the back of the sofa.

Leia tried to suppress the thoughts on her brother but try as she might she
could not. She desperately wished for him to be happy and when she had seen
his stricken face and the determination he had shown when he had
encountered Mara in her office, she knew with certainty that he felt the
same. I just wish, Mara will feel the same, she thought, her thoughts
invariably drawn to the Ex-Emperor's Hand. There had been a time when Leia
would not have trusted Mara Jade with her twin's happiness, let alone his
life, but now she really wished that the woman would see reason and take
what was offered to her. Not only for the happiness of Mara Jade but her
brother's as well.

She tried to contact Luke again and this time she felt his calm presence in
the Force. Brushing his mind ever so lightly, she send him reassuring
thoughts then broke the link and stood up. It was time to join her family,
they were waiting for her and frankly, she was looking forward to be pulled
into the commotion coming from the kitchen.
+++
The following days and nights Skywalker never went far from Mara's side. If
the public had any doubts as to the extent of the Jedi Master's feelings
for the beautiful trader, there weren't any doubts left now. Droids and
living personnel alike treated Luke as if he was Mara's life mate, moreover
they had provided them with a secluded room with a bigger bed and had
fitted it with more comfortable chairs and a larger desk that Luke had ordered.

Together with Cilghal, the Jedi Master had started to put Mara into a
healing trance, monitoring her status himself. After another draining
trance session Cilghal watched the young man as he sat slumped in a chair
beside Mara's bedside. The Calamari Jedi had no doubt that her Master
harboured strong feelings for the woman still in the clutches of the drugs
she had used and she asked herself for the umpteenth time why Mara Jade was
fighting the inevitable.

*Have you ever come across mention of mind melts or permanent Force bonds
in your data pads, Cilghal?* She heard Luke's voice in her mind, and the
Calamari smiled.

*Yes, I have, Master Luke,* she responded in kind. *In fact I had suspected
that you and Mistress Mara had a Force bond and will retrieve the data pads
in question from my office.*

"Thank you, Cilghal, I guess I have neglected a lot when I skimmed the
data," Luke replied and the Jedi smiled at that.

"Though, Master Luke, you seem to be managing quite well without the data."
Luke stared at her almost in shock until he heard her chuckle in the Force.
Blushing slightly, he flashed her a crooked grin and watched as the
Calamari left the room.

On her way to her office, Cilghal met with Talon Karrde and Han Solo, both
ex-smugglers conversing in hushed tones. The Calamari had to smile at the
thought that those two big men and hardened warriors actually had more
gentler and considerate feelings and tried to keep their voices down. When
both men noticed her, they stood up.

"Good morning, Mistress Cilghal," Han Solo said and nodded towards the
Calamari.

"General Solo, Master Karrde," Cilghal said and motioned them to sit again
while she took a chair in front of them. "What can I do for you?"

"We wanted ... well, Talon here wanted to know how Mara is faring, and I
wanted to have a word with Luke, is he up?" Han muttered.

"Mistress Jade is well considering the circumstances, Master Skywalker and
I have put her into a healing trance and her progress is satisfying. I can
call Master Luke for you, General Solo," Cilghal's voice trailed away when
she felt Talon Karrde's hesitation. "Yes, Master Karrde?"

"I would like to know if there will be any lingering effects, I heard Mara
took a drug ..." Talon started but clamped his mouth shut again when a med
droid passed the three people.

"I think you better discuss this with Master Skywalker," Cilghal said and
stood. Silently she led the two men to Mara's infirmary room.

Han and Talon thanked Cilghal and looked around the room. Mara's face was
deathly white against the bed sheets and both men were shocked to see the
once so vital woman in this state. They heard the shower in the fresher
shut off and they moved towards the transparisteel window where a
comfortable looking couch and a stuffed chair sat. The hues and russets of
the fabric reminded both men of the soft sands of Tatooine and there was no
doubt who had brought the comfortable furniture.

Both smugglers were not surprised when they came face to face with the Jedi
Master who was towel-drying his hair as he exited the fresher, clad only in
his black trousers. He stopped momentarily when he saw Han and Talon, then
self-consciously grinned at them.

"Sorry," he murmured and retrieved a tunic from a nearby chair. Diving his
arms and head into the garment, he pulled it on and motioned towards the
sofa. All three men were aware of the scars that had been clearly evident
on Luke's chest and arms, a constant reminder that the Jedi Master had more
than once put his life on the balance to keep the New Republic safe.

After the awkward moment had passed, Luke carefully looked over to Talon
and Han. Both men were unusually subdued and he caught both of them more
than once as their eyes darted towards the bed where Mara lay.

"She is all right," Luke assured both men and Talon nodded.

"She looks so small and vulnerable. It is hard to fit it to the image of
the Mara Jade we all know ..." Talon doubted that Luke shared his feelings.
Luke is probably the only one of the three of us who knows the real Mara
Jade, he thought as he eyed the Jedi Master. After the Briem reception ten
weeks earlier he had fully expected to find Mara Jade quitting her job to
marry the Jedi Master, but nothing had prepared him for a Mara Jade that
had announced she was going on a mission to retrieve some Jedi artefacts -
alone.

Sighing, Talon focused his mind back on the Jedi Master who was quietly
answering questions directed at him by Han.

"... tell Leia that I will come by as soon as Mara has recovered. She needs
guidance in her trances and I can't leave her alone," Luke ended and locked
his eyes with that of his friend and brother in law. Han nodded.

"I know Leia will understand, it is just that the kids are asking for you
and they know what has happened to Mara and they want to make sure you two
are all right," Han paused as if considering what to say next then he
continued. "Anakin said you are helping her getting back her equilibrium in
the Force, he thinks that she was scared to do what she did."

"Anakin is a smart boy," Luke smiled at that. "But tell him not to worry,
Mara will be fine."

Han actually snorted at that. "You know how he is, I mean they are all
Force-strong children, Jacen and Jaina are more like Leia in the Force but
Anakin ... he is more like you and Mara ..." Han fell silent after that and
the men stared unseeing out of the window. Suddenly, Han remembered
something and patting his innumerous pockets on his coat, he finally found
what he sought.

"Leia thought Mara would need this once she recovers," he said and handed
Luke the hilt of Mara's lightsaber. The young Jedi Master took the handle
and his thumb caressed the various buttons on it.

"Thanks," he said and put it on the table between them. Talon and Han
exchanged a look then in unison rose to their feet.

"We better go now," Talon said and extended his hand towards Luke. "If you
or Mara need anything, let me know, okay?"

"We will, Talon, thank you," Luke replied with a small smile. After they
had exchanged their final good-byes, Luke took the lightsaber and strolled
over to Mara's bed. Carefully placing it on the bedstead beside her, he
checked her Force signature, relieved to feel her strengthening. Luke
looked down into her face, the depth of his feelings for this woman almost
overwhelming him and he gently brushed a few errant strands out of her face.

Later, Cilghal had send him the promised data pads and after having made
sure that Mara was still in her healing trance, he sat down to read every
single word, not wanting to skip important information this time. What he
came to know about Force bonds and mind melts left him in awe but also put
a deep fear into him. What Mara and Luke had experienced should have never
happened by chance, they had created a life bond with each other only a
married couple was bound to seek.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Luke put down the last data pad onto the table and
stared off into the distance. Just fitting that the Force or fate throws
something like this at us, Luke thought and his lips twitched. Oh Mara,
what have we let ourselves into?
+++
It was dark when Mara woke up. She had no recollection where she was or how
she had managed to submit herself into a med center once she knew that this
place was what she suspected. Moving slightly, she felt someone stirring
and turning darkness accustomed eyes towards the movement she could make
out Luke Skywalker slumped over in a chair beside her bed.

Her Force sense was almost recovered and she didn't really need to confirm
his presence, as she could feel him like a physical part of herself, but
nevertheless, she probed him slightly, making sure, that he was asleep.
Satisfied that he was indeed deep in slumber, Mara moved the sensors out of
her way that were monitoring her and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

"What are you doing?" Luke's disembodied voice came to her and for a moment
Mara stilled her movements. Lights came on and turning around she could see
that he had straightened in his seat and was watching her out of darkened
blue eyes. for long moments their eyes battled with each other and tiredly
Mara was the first to break contact and looked down on her hands. For the
first time she took in her surroundings. Even if this was her room in the
med center, the furniture breathed of Luke. The soft brown and sandy tones
of the sofa and chairs were so much like the colours of Luke's home planet.

I should be mad at him for trying to run my life like this, she thought but
try as she might, she could not will herself to feel that way about Luke.

"Getting out of here," Mara answered his earlier question, still not brave
enough to face the Jedi Master. She could feel his presence, could feel him
in her, a part of her ... like the Emperor once. She shuddered and closed
her eyes.

"Why?" she simply asked, conveying all her pain, her doubts and fears into
this simple word. Luke looked down on his hands and sighed.

"Why what, Mara? Why did I bring you here? You were sick and almost lost
your shoulder and arm ... Why am I here? I care for you ... Why is this all
happening? I don't know. Does this answer your question?" Luke asked and
looked at the shivering woman in front of him. Nothing reminded him of the
self-assured woman he knew and loved. This Mara was haggard and twitchy,
every time he tried to reach out to her both physically and through the
Force she was flinching and recoiling.

"Why did you ... where is the injector?" Mara asked, ignoring the sarcastic
tone of his voice. I never wanted this, she thought as she dared to look at
Skywalker. I never wanted to meet him again, to let him see what the drug
is doing to me ... I wanted to disappear and we both could move on with our
lives.

"Why do you want the injector, Mara? Don't you think you had enough of the
essence?" Luke asked sarcastically.

Mara looked at him. He looked worn and older than she remembered. "What
would you know, Skywalker? You as the great Jedi Master don't fear anything
..." The last ten weeks had been hell. She had missed him, had missed his
familiar presence and she had realized how much she had come to depend on
his signature in the Force. Without him, without the Force itself, she had
felt incomplete to say the least.

"Mara?" Luke's voice cut through her reverie and for the first time she
looked up over her shoulder and into his blue eyes. Immediately, they
became connected, one being, one soul, one memory ... one pain. The one
thing that Mara had tried to avoid all these weeks and reminded her so
agonizingly at what she had experienced while still the Emperor's Hand.
With a sob that rose deeply from within her very being, she tore her gaze
away, tried to resurrect the barriers but to no avail. As much as she
tried, there was no way she could erect barriers against the Jedi Master.

Luke scrambled over the bed and kneeling behind her, he gently placed his
arms around her slumped form. "It's okay, Mara," he whispered into her hair
and felt the shuddering sobs racking her frail body. "Let go, my love. We
can make it together."

I can't! Mara shouted silently, trying to break away from his touch.

*Mara, please, don't do this to me ... to us!* Skywalker pleaded with her
through the Force. *Do you really think I'd misuse your trust as the
Emperor did?*

Mara gasped and shook her head slightly. *I know you won't, Skywalker, but
... but I cannot bear another connection like this ... what if it will
happen again? What if it happens again when we make ... when we ...* She
couldn't bring herself to say it. She just couldn't.

"We will find out when we cross that bridge, Mara. If I have found
something out about life, it's that it never is easy. And if you are
concerned whether the vision will occur again when we make love," he
emphasized the word slightly. "... then we will get Ysalamiri ... or I
inject myself with the essence ... what ever!"

"Why would you do that?" Mara asked with a shivering voice. She could not
believe that the Jedi Master would go to such extremes.

"If it means having you in my life, I would do anything, Mara. Even giving
up the force," Luke answered dead-seriously and for a moment Mara's heart
stopped beating. No, Makers, no! He cannot love me ... he dare not love me!

Closing her eyes, Mara tried to calm herself but she couldn't. "Of all the
stupid things I have heard so far, that is the most selfish thing you ever
uttered, Skywalker!"

Luke was taken aback by her reaction. Here I'm telling her that I love her
more than my life, more than my status as Jedi and she dismisses it? Just
like that?

"I never thought you could be that cold, Mara. I really thought deep down
you feel something for me..." Luke said rejectingly and let go of her.
Ignoring their bond he laid back on the bed and closed his eyes. Gods, I'm
sick of all this love stuff. Every time I think I have found the right
woman love has to be thrown right back into my face. I can't stand it anymore.

A long silence stretched between them, both aware that they still could
feel each other's boiling emotions. Mara shifted uncomfortably and when she
settled back onto the bed she met his glare with uncertainty.

"I don't want you to renounce the Force, Luke," Mara said quietly and Luke
had to use his Force enhanced senses to actually hear her. "It would not be
the same. You are so one with the Force that you'd find it lacking ... when
you ... when we ..." Mara bit her lip. "I know you can't live like this,
Skywalker, no one can ... not even I..."

Luke stared at her and was momentarily shocked. He had the feeling as if he
knew what was coming next. But this time he was an unwilling participant
and whether Mara liked it or not he was prepared to fight for her, for them.
+++

Hello all,

all right here it is ... against my expectations, CE only has ten chapters.
I thought it better to conclude here as to have more stuff for the follow
up story.

And Agi, sorry to disappoint you ... but I couldn't help myself .. you'll
see when you read the story ;-)

Summary - For several times Mara and Luke have experiences Force exchanges
between themselves and powerful sexual images drive them both into each
other's arms. After another love making where they unconsciously force
melted, Mara is reminded of an incident with the Emperor. Luke shares the
memory with her and embarrassed and frightened to death, Mara flees Coruscant.
After ten weeks, where she had been on a mission for Leia, she returns and
she is not part of the Force anymore. Luke now tries to find out what
exactly happened and why Mara is behaving the way she does...

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of 'Star Wars' depicted in this
story are legal property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd. and Timothy Zahn,
and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement intended.

Rating: Overall story NC-17, this chapter PG

Special thanks go to Sherry - thank you for being such an understanding
beta reader and friend .. and of course for sharing a brain with me :)
To our MIA Skywalker's Dream and her antics ;-)

Una

Cold Equation
Chapter Ten

After a silence that seemed to last an eternity, Luke laid back onto the
bed. For the first time since she had woken, Mara noticed he was only
wearing his sleeping pants. She also noticed the ease with which he claimed
his side of the bed and for a short moment a fleeting image of his arms
around her while she had been unconscious crossed her mind.

Shaking her head slightly as if to clear it, she resumed her sitting
position and stared at her hands. She knew that she had hurt him but she
also knew that she had to make him understand that she was not the right
person for him.

"Skywalker ..." she started and bit her lips. <i>I'd rather face a Vornskr
than him</i>, she thought. Turning towards him, she sat cross-legged onto
the bed beside him. Luke sensed the turmoil of her thoughts and propping
himself up on his elbows he searched her face. He could feel how she
struggled to keep her barriers towards him intact but he also knew that it
was in vain. With their new bond neither of them could keep the other at
bay for long.

"Mara, tell me about the essence," Luke started and met her incredulous
look with a levelled
gaze out of blue eyes. "The med droid couldn't find any entries in the
medical banks..."

Jade snorted at that. "Because the essence is not used for medical
purposes," she retorted, her old anger facing up to the surface. She chided
herself silently, because deep down she had to admit that she was glad he
had diverted the topic of their discussion away from her and her feelings.

"The essence was used by the Emperor to subdue Jedi in imprisonment. It was
a way to keep them wondering what the Emperor wanted to do with them,
cutting them away from the Force like this. A lot submitted to madness if
the essence was taken too long, the side effects being loss of sensibility
and sanity," Mara explained quietly and for a short moment their eyes met
and Mara could feel the distress coming from Luke even if her Force sense
was not fully recovered yet.

"You knew all this and yet you took it?" Luke's voice was deadly calm and
only the tick on his jaw indicated how upset he was. Mara tried to ignore
him, tried to shut out the feelings she experienced.

"I did," she said and looked down on her hands again. "It is my choice and
I don't regret it. It is the only possible choice we ...I could have made."

Luke snorted at that. "Oh so you think you can think for me as well now?
Didn't it ever cross your mind once that we could work it out? That there
must be something we can do to keep these visions at bay?"

"There is nothing we can do. I tried and it didn't work. I had to protect
you..." Mara's voice trailed away and she bit her tongue. She had already
said enough, had revealed too much of her real feelings for the Jedi Master.

"Protect me?" Luke almost yelled, his calm Jedi demeanour slipping away
rapidly. "Jade, I'm a big boy now, not still some farmboy from a dust ball
of a planet."

Mara snorted at his words, knowing how na? Luke must have been back then
to be as na? as he was now. "You may be a Jedi now, but you will always
be a delusional, cave dwelling, sand frolicking farmboy like you used to
be." Her anger and discomfort at their present situation making her
vindictive.

Luke was astounded by her assessment of him. "I'm not delusional and I
don't frolic in the sand or in caves." Then he mumbled under his
breath. "Except that one time with one girl."

Mara's head snapped up at his words. <i>Frolicking in a cave with a girl on
Tatooine?</i> her mind screamed. <i>It can't be him?! It just can't be?!</i>

"What did you say?" she croaked out, momentarily cutting off his angry rant.

"What?" Luke asked. "Great, now you aren't even listening. Just tell me,
Jade, why I should bother with you anymore??" he started to get off the bed
and before Mara knew what she was doing she reach out a hand and stopped him.

"What was this about a girl in a cave?" she asked breathlessly.

Luke raised his hand dismissively. "Nothing." He shrugged her hand off and
stood beside the bed. "I better go home, as I can see I'm not needed here."
With that he snatched up his tunic and his boots and while making it
towards the door he yanked his clothes onto his well built frame.

"Skywalker..." Mara's voice trailed away. She was at a loss.

"Don't you Skywalker me, Jade. I'm sick of it ... sick of you who is always
acting so bantha-headed. Well no more. I'm leaving. If you give me a chance
.. give us a chance, then you know where to find me, Mara Jade." He turned
abruptly and stumbled as he struggled his boots on, hopping from one foot
to the other.

Mara watched him and she would have smiled but the humour escaped her. Here
she was watching the only man who had given her a sense of safety and
gentleness walk out of her life.

+++

Mara sat quietly in a chair in front of the floor to ceiling window. Since
their quarrel the night before, she had not seen Luke and she felt a small
pang in her heart and being.

<i>He deserves to be loved as much as he loves,</i> Mara told herself
silently and she knew that she could never do so. <i>I can't love, I do not
know how,</i> she told the small nagging voice inside her head. A voice
that she had heard more and more lately and which was chiding her for all
the things she had so foolishly risked.

Mara sighed and closed her eyes for short moments, shutting out the view of
the Manarai mountains in the distance. She knew that her down time on
Coruscant wasn't healthy for her mental equilibrium, she never had had time
before to question her life and the path that lay in front of her. <i>How
come you have been so foolish as to let him make love to you?</i> she asked
herself and immediately cut down on the thought. <i>I have been a willing
participant, it was as much my decision as his. And I want Luke, I want him
in a way I never wanted anyone before ... well perhaps, not exactly ...
there was still the farmboy ...</i> He had been the very reason why she had
been punished by the Emperor. Her farmboy had taken her virginity,
something the Emperor had planned on using his own way. Mara could still
recall the fury and recklessness with which the Emperor had raged, and for
the first time as the Emperor's Hand, young Mara had had doubts about the
right and wrong of the Empire, and especially about her Master.

<i>Perhaps back then I should have defected ...</i> The thought that came
so easily now, would have scared the Mara back then witless, she knew that.
<i>I was too young to see the rights and wrongs of the Emperor, he was like
a father, he provided for me and took care of me,</i> Mara's eyes snapped
open and she shuddered. The very thought of seeing Palpatine as her father
made her sick but back then that was all she had, all that kept her sane in
an environment that was hostile and thick with deceit and treason.

She was still too much a product of the Empire and Palpatine, that much she
was certain. Even after Luke had helped her to rid herself of his
influence, she had still been unwillingly in his clutches. <i>And all
because of a night with a farmboy...</i>

The thought that had been tugging at her mind for more than four months
appeared again and for the first time she did not shut it out but perused
it freely.

<i>What if Luke is the farmboy? But that cannot be true ... I saw the death
certificate, he ... his family died in a fire,</i> she thought but try as
she might she could not bury the feeling that perhaps she had been mistaken
all those years ago when she had returned to Tatooine to look for her
farmboy. <i>What was his name again? Lars?</i> she asked herself and slowly
rose to her feet.

+++

The sun was rising gently over the spikes and spires of Coruscant and Luke
stood on his balcony and was sipping a mug of caf. He had not slept well
after he had come home last night and he still felt slightly irritated with
Mara. But he knew in her own twisted way of thinking she did the right
thing, it was just the way she did it that hurt him more than he was ready
to admit.

"I guess we just have to ride it out, Artoo," Luke said and the little
astromech at his side gave off a series of beeps and whistles. The young
Jedi Master grinned and nodded. "Aye, stubborn she is," imitating his old
Master Yoda.

Returning to his living room he put the mug on the small table and checked
his holo net messages. <i>No messages from Mara</i>, he mused, but he
hadn't really expected anything.
<i>She can be as stubborn as a Taun-Taun,</i> he thought again with a grin,
his irritation at the beautiful trader quickly dissipating.

As he had taken a shower earlier he went over to this bedroom where he
quickly changed into another set of his Jedi Blacks, fastening his
lightsaber to his belt. He needed to see her, needed to make sure she
didn't take off with her ship to do something stupid ...<i>Like taking the
essence again</i>, Luke added silently.

Thus resolved, he made his way over to the med center, glad for once that
he wasn't the patient like so many other times.
<br>Luke chuckled to himself. <i>Yes, I have spend too many weeks in that
med center,</i> he thought. <i>They know me too well inside out.</i>
+++
Cilghal was angry. For days and weeks on end she and Master Skywalker had
battled for the woman's life and now she wanted to sign out on her own
volition. She could not let that happen.

"Miss Jade ...Mara, you are in no fit state to sign yourself out. What if
you have a stroke again?" Cilghal tried to argue with the woman in front of
her for the umpteenth time. She even considered using the Force to make the
woman see the wrong of her doing but decided wisely against it.

Mara shook her head in an exasperated manner and stopped the packing of her
duffel bag.

"Cilghal, I told you it doesn't work," Mara replied and looked around the
room, checking if she had missed any of her personal items. "I'm out of
here and if I stroke, then it will happen. But by the Force, I won't stay
put in here any longer. Anything is better than locked away by Skywalker's
good will."

The Calamari Jedi watched the young human woman. <i>So she wants to escape
from Skywalker, now why doesn't that surprise me?</i> she asked herself.

"You know that Luke will hear about it, Mara. Just wait till he arrives
here and he can take care of anything you want to be taken care of." The
instant she spoke she knew it were exactly and utterly the wrong words.
Seeing the red-head pausing in what she was doing she felt the extreme
ripple of the Force coming from her and for the first time in weeks,
Cilghal was afraid of the Master Trader ... again. <i>There is still a
major part of the Emperor's Hand in her,</i> Cilghal mused silently and
with a pang of regret.

"I can take care of myself and whatever I want by myself,
thank-you-very-much, Cilghal. I don't need the Jedi Master to run my life!"
Mara almost yelled before she checked herself when she saw Talon Karrde
entering her sick room.

"Now if this isn't Mara Jade as she lives and breathes," Talon said by way
of greeting and flashed both women his trademark smile.

"What do you want, Karrde?" Mara growled but the Master Trader ignored her
tone and stepped over to Cilghal whom he greeted in the traditional
Calamari greeting, touching her webbed hands with his own and putting his
forehead against the female Jedi.

"May your waters always be clear, Cilghal," Talon said and the Jedi smiled.

"And may all your endeavours always be prosperous, Master Trader Karrde,"
Cilghal replied and smiled like a blushing young girl. Mara snorted when
she saw the smitten Jedi and turned away.

"So Karrde, what brings us the <i>pleasure</i> of your presence?" Mara spit
out.

"I heard you were ill and when I returned to Coruscant I wanted to see what
my favourite second in command is up to," Talon said and grinned. "But I'm
glad to see you so well, Jade."

"I'm your only second in command so cut the Bantha dropping," Jade said and
zipped the bag shut with an angry snap. "Good you are here, I need you to
give Skywalker something," she picked up a small case she especially had
made for the weapon that was inside.

"Here, Skywalker knows what to do with it," Mara said and took the
lightsaber out of its casing. "I don't ..." she wanted to say that she did
not need it anymore, but that was not the case, <i>I'm always in need of a
good weapon</i>, then she resumed, "I don't want it, and it is better to
return it to its original owner. The Jedi will know what to do with it."

"Mara," both Cilghal and Talon gasped in unison and Karrde shook his head.

"You can't do this, Mara. This lightsaber is a sign of your Jedi status,
Luke will never speak a word with you if you re-..." His voice trailed away
when he saw Mara's set face. "You want to make him so furious that he won't
speak with you anymore, is that it?" Talon asked and shook his head. "You
are more crazy than I ever thought, Jade. And I don't want to be in your
shoes."

"You won't, Talon," Mara replied coldly, and picked up the bag. As she
moved towards the door, she passed Cilghal and slipping the bag to the
floor, Mara bowed her head slightly in front of the Jedi Calamari.

"Thank you Mistress Cilghal for the help and the kindness," Mara said and
after she had picked up her bag again, she bade her good bye to Talon as
well and left the room.

Talon looked at the saber and turned it over slowly in his hands. When he
looked up he met the sorrowful gaze of the Calamari and both knew that they
better prepared themselves for the cold anger of the Jedi Master.
+++
Entering the med center which was located in another wing of the Imperial
Palace, Luke Skywalker came across Talon Karrde who looked as if he had
been wrangled by a Wampa. The ex-smuggler turned trader was definitely not
pleased to see him. Sensing the man's discomfort, Luke's danger sense
flared up immediately.

"Where is she?" Skywalker asked exasperated and Talon Karrde shook his head.

"I tried to keep her but you know how she is when she is in one of those
moods, there is no stopping her," Karrde replied uneasily and fiddled with
a small oblong object. "Luke ... Mara ... she wanted you to have this ..."

The Jedi Master stared at the saber as if he assumed it would turn into a
deadly spider. Hesitating, Luke took the lightsaber from Talon's hand and
clipped it beside his own onto his belt.

"Did she say where she would go?" he asked Talon and the Trader shook his
head.

"No, she just left," he replied but was interrupted by Cilghal who had
stepped beside Karrde.

"I sensed she wanted to return to a planet on the outer rim. It must have
been important to her and I could read images of vast deserts in her mind,"
The Calamari said softly and Talon's breath hissed sharply out of his lips.

<i>I wish they wouldn't do this,</i> Talon thought and from the look on
Luke's and Cilghal's faces he knew they had picked up on his thoughts.

"Outer rim?" Luke asked coldly and Cilghal nodded. She watched the young
Jedi Master with sorrow as he walked over to the receptionist desk. Through
the Force she could feel the contained anger of him. When she looked at
Talon for a short moment, she could see that the Trader had also picked up
on the Master's emotion and they exchanged a worried glance. After a brief
exchange of words with space port officials at the receptionist's holonet
desk Luke returned.

"She requested take off and put in a flight plan to Tatooine," Luke
explained. <i>I should have known it was Tatooine, when Cilghal mentioned
vast deserts. But why Tatooine?</i> he asked himself silently and tried the
Force to reach out for his friend. <i>*Mara ...*</i> But the call
reverberated in the vastness of the Force unheard and he felt the barriers
that the beautiful trader had built up around herself.

Sighing, he thanked Cilghal and turned towards the exit when Talon's voice
called him back.

"Luke!"

Both men held each other's gazes and Skywalker knew the Trader pleaded for
their friend's life.

"I will not harm her, Talon, this much I can promise." With this the Jedi
Master left the med center and Talon Karrde just hoped that he never drew
the wrath of Luke Skywalker on him.
+++
The graves were still untouched, like the time she had visited them before
many years ago. Mara stood silently, ignoring the sharp desert winds that
ripped at her heavy brown robe. She had found it slightly ironic that the
only cloak that would keep the winds of Tatooine at bay were a cloak much
like a Jedi robe and wearing it she felt uncomfortable.

<i>Good thing the Jedi Master doesn't see me or he would start his little
mantra of me going into training again,</i> Mara sighed and moved around
when she heard soft foot steps in the sand behind her.

"I'm sorry I startled you," the woman said and something about her was
familiar to Mara.

"I see you are looking at Beru and Owen's graves," the woman pointed out
and stood beside Jade. "A pity really, they were nice people, took in their
nephew when he was still little..."

"Nephew?" Mara asked in surprise. The names had ring a bell and a deep fear
crept up her spine.

"Yes, their nephew is the golden boy of the New Republic now. A shame me
and Ash didn't think quicker when they buried them. The men just assumed
Wormie was killed in the attack as well. But Ash and I know better, in fact
Wormie and our son Biggs were best friends."

"Biggs? Biggs Darklighter?" Mara choked out and the woman nodded.

"Yes, Biggs was my son, he was killed in the attack of the first Death
Star. You did know him?" the elderly woman asked hopefully and Mara shook
her head no.

"But I know Gavin, he is with the Rogues," Jade replied softly and the face
of the woman lit up.

"Yes, he writes from time to time, bless his soul. We are all so proud of
him." The woman moved over to another grave. "We put this here, I mean they
couldn't find any remains to send back so we just brought this lot, Ash and
I."

Mara could sense the deep feeling of loss of the other woman and for a
short moment she realised that for a long time she had only seen the
Imperial side of the event. She had always thought about the technicians
and civilian personnel that had been killed on the Death Stars, but now
seeing the woman silently weeping for her dead son, she knew how much the
New Republic had paid for the freedom of the galaxy.

<i>For my freedom,</i> Mara added silently. She watched the woman and a
thought occurred to her. "You said that their nephew has become the golden
boy of the Republic?"

"Why, yes, Wormie ... never thought he would become a pilot, that one.
Don't get me wrong, he was the best in the skyhopper races, but I doubted
his uncle would ever let him go to the academy. Well, he became a pilot,
and from what I hear a good one. He blew up the first Death Star and is now
one of those wizards, like Old Kenobi was ... Jedi I think."

Mara gaped at the woman then her hands and likewise her body started
shaking. <i>That can't be!</i> her mind screamed and yet deep down in her
very being she knew that Wormie must be Skywalker, her farmboy was the Jedi
Master all along.

"You all right, young lady?" The elderly woman asked and gently touched
Mara's arm. Even in the heat of the twin suns the trader was freezing as if
subjected to the cold of Hoth.

"I'm all right, thank you," Mara replied and tried to suppress the
shudders. "I just have to return to my ship, that is all."

"The X-Wing that landed near the market place?" The woman asked.

Mara creased her brow and shook her head. "No, my ship is just outside the
cemetery, hidden by the dunes over there. You said it was an X-Wing?"

"Aye, thought that Gavin was coming for a visit but it wasn't Gavin, no one
I know, all clad in black he was," the woman replied, sending Mara into
another shaking fit.

<i>Great, Jedi Blacks ... and of course, only one man wears these!</i> she
thought as she felt a familiar signature advancing towards her in the Force.

<i>*Skywalker, what are you doing here?*</i> Mara growled, barely
containing her anger.

<i>*Someone send me a message, remember, in form of a lightsaber. When I
gave it to you it was for keeping not returning it whenever it strikes your
fancy, Jade!*</i> Luke replied as he scrambled over a dune, coming from the
direction of the small trading outpost.

Mara could feel anger emanating from him and for a short moment she was
reminded of another Skywalker, a Sith Lord who had only once shown her
kindness. Shuddering again, Mara drew her barriers tighter around herself.
She did not notice the woman bidding her good bye and so Mara Jade waited.<br>
Bracing herself, she waited for the Jedi Master to reach her. It was
inevitable that they would meet again, here where everything had started
eighteen years ago.
+++
Luke never took his eyes off the lone figure that stood erect in front of
his aunt's and uncle's graves. He had visited the funeral site shortly
after Endor and returning now, he felt anxiety and anger mixing within himself.

Not trusting his voice or his action he stopped beside her and looked at
the graves in front of them. Skywalker waited, he knew Mara had to take the
first step to resolve this mystery.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mara asked in a whisper after a while and Luke
turned towards her.

"Tell you what?" Luke shot back.

"That your aunt and uncle were called Lars!" Mara replied and she let out a
frustrated sigh. "If I had known ... Gods, I am as dense as a Mynock
sometimes. All these similarities, they just struck me in the eye and I
didn't get them!"

"Get what Mara? Why is it so important to you that Beru's and Owen's last
name was Lars?" Luke asked "And why your sudden departure? Tatooine is not
going anywhere, your trip could have waited ..."

Mara shook her head. "No," she replied softly and she tilted her head
towards him, putting the hood back over her shoulders. "It has already gone
on too long and I don't want another voice in my head, not after the
Emperor. It was going on too long and I can't stand it anymore..."

"You can't stand it anymore?" Luke asked, his voice having a definite edge
to it. "Why didn't you just tell me? Do you really think I would have kept
you on Coruscant? I'm not the Emperor, Mara."

"No, you are not, but do you know what the Emperor did when he found out
about that night in the cave-" she bit her lips and turned away.

Somewhere in Luke's mind something clicked into place. "You ... you are the
dream girl..." his voice trailed away and he shook his head. "But it was
only a dream, nothing more."

"If I had not so hurriedly executed the mind wipe there should have been no
lingering traces of what had happened ..." Mara closed her eyes for a
moment and suppressed the tears that were welling up. <i>Aye, the farmboy
always could reduce me to tears!</i> she thought.

"You wanted to protect me, right? Therefore the mind wipe and not telling
me your name. But why, Mara? You didn't know who I was ..."

"Because I didn't want you to get into the clutches of the Emperor,
Farmboy. He had sensed you through our bond and I knew he would pick up on
the fact that you are a latent Force user. I couldn't let that happen."
Jade's voice was small, like that of a small child. Luke stepped closer to
her and after a moment's hesitation he wrapped his arms around her small
form and hugged her close to himself. Soft ripples of the Force surged
through them but both had grown so accustomed to these exchanges that they
almost missed them.

"So much burden on your small shoulders even back then, Jade. I'm
sorry." Luke whispered near her ear, and put his lips against her cheek.
"But you decided not to tell me your name before we ever .. before we made
love, why then?"

"Standard Imperial procedure, don't give your name. Back then I was so sure
of myself, such a loyal obedient subject to the Emperor ..." Mara struggled
slightly then stepped out of his embrace and hugged herself tightly. "When
the Emperor found out I had been unfaithful to him, he ... he did what you
saw the last time ...after... we ..."

"We made love," Luke helped her and he received a deadly glance out of
emerald green eyes.

"He must have felt you with me in the cave. He was furious and I just
couldn't defend myself, I didn't know how." Mara closed her eyes tightly,
trying to shut out the images that flashed before her mind's eye.

Those images were so deeply ingrained, so much a part of her now, that they
were impossible to block. The memories of the Emperor, and what he had done
to her younger self were simply there - like her heart-beat. <i>Will Luke
become so entwined too? Will I lose myself again in him?</i> she thought
and could not come up with an answer. Her mind screamed no, but she knew
deep down in her heart, that she could easily fall for the Jedi Master.

"I shouldn't have come here, this place is filled with too many painful
memories," she whispered and wanted to turn when Luke's hand came to rest
on her shoulder.

"Mara, you cannot ignore the Force. If it wills us to be together then we
cannot do anything rather than submit," Luke told her gently, stroking her
cheek with his gloved hand.

"I cannot accept that, Luke," Mara whispered and met his blue eyes with a
tear filled gaze. "My life has always been commanded by others, by Vader,
by the Emperor ... by the code of honour as an Imperial Assassin ... I
cannot submit myself ... I can't."
+++
Mara stared at Skywalker as he stood in front of her. All that had
transpired between them, now made sense in a very twisted and sick way.
She did not feel comfortable with the thought that it all had been
preconceived, that both their lives had been so completely guided and
submitted by the Force.

<i>I'm my own agent,</i> Mara thought but deep down she knew that only half
of it was true. She might be her own agent where her business life was
concerned but her love ... she was destined to be with Skywalker, destined
to love the one man that made her feel whole and rid the galaxy of all evil
with him.

<i>Would the Force just as easily replace me if something happened to
me?</i> she asked herself silently. <i>Surely with my life as Emperor's
Hand such eventuality could have happened.</i> But deep down she already
knew the answer. Looking at Skywalker's own life, his yearning for a family
and not getting his due on the love front, told her that he was just as
irrevocably connected to her as she was to him. There was only one Mara
Jade and only one Luke Skywalker, Emperor's Hand and Farmboy, who had
marked each other in the most gentlest, most intimate possible way and had
thus acknowledged their fate put upon them by the Force.

Luke suppressed a sigh and watched Mara out of the corner of his eyes. He
knew he had to give her time to digest all the information that had been
revealed to them but on the other hand he wanted to hold her, kiss her and
mark her again like he had so unconsciously done all those years ago when
he still had that innocence that she always claimed to love about him.

<i>I want her,</i> he thought but quickly amended the thought by adding.
<i>No, I <b>need</b> her. She is my blood, my every heart beat, the air I
breathe and the food I need for nourishment. I just hope that some day I
will mean as much to her as she means to me.</i>

The thought saddened him, because he feared that she would never feel as
deeply for him as he did for her. <i>She might stay with me because of the
Force, but will she love me?</i> Skywalker looked up when Mara stirred and
for a short moment their eyes locked.

"I better go now," Mara whispered and wiped her eyes awkwardly.

"Mara..." Luke started but soft fingertips on his lips stilled his words.
Silently, Mara shook her head no.

"I have to go, Luke. You know that as well as I do. I have to come to terms
with everything that was revealed today, I cannot just let myself be
subjected by every whim of the Force, I just can't."

She tiptoed, and mirroring their first departure on this very planet, she
planted a bittersweet kiss onto his lips, felt his arms tightening around her.

<i>*Mara, I ...*</i>, Luke hesitated to tell what was in his heart. He
could feel Mara stiffening in his arms. <i>*I will wait and if you are
ready, I'll be there for you!*</i>

Giving him another soft, lingering kiss, Mara stepped away from him.

"Thank you," she simply said and putting the hood of her robe over her head
to protect her from the desert wind, she made her way over to her space craft.

Luke Skywalker stood for long moments, watching from the safe distance as
the <i>Jade's Fire</i> took off. <i>I will wait for you, Mara Jade!</i> he
thought and with a last long look at the small object that was speedily
gaining altitude, he turned and walked over to his own craft. They had come
full circle and now it was up to them when and where they started their new
lives. Together.

To be continued in <b>Collateral Damage</b>