Healing

The following story is a sequel to my first story published on this list, "Jedi Dawn", which I hope is still in your memories :D

In here, you will mainly find character study, romance and a little dramatic turn on things. If you search for space battles or blaster fights, you're not going to find them in here.

Mara Jade-Skywalker smiled broadly when her ship, the Jade Sabre, dropped back to real space. Right in front of them, a large, shining ball indicated that she had plotted the course perfectly. It was only a matter of an hour until they'd have landed at the spot Mara had chosen for their vacation.

While Luke had spent another few days in a bacta-tank after Priestess Elan's attack on the Criarto, Mara had consulted several galaxy maps and tried to find a suitable planet to take her husband to after he'd be released from the medic centre.

Not only had she wanted something special for him, something beautiful, she had also sought to find a planet that was quiet and not too well-visited - Luke's popularity had been boosted all the more by the past war and its outcome and even while in bacta tank on Coruscant, news reporters had tried to get to him - "just for a few simple questions", as they had put it.
Most of them, Mara mused with a cruel smirk, wouldn't dare to come near her anymore, she supposed.

Anyways, after two days of searching, she had finally found what she'd looked for and was absolutely sure that Luke would love it.
It would be the perfect place for him to relax and replenish and to forget what he had been through at the hands of Elan and Mezhan Kwaad.
The mere thought of these two women still got Mara's blood boiling and even the fact that they were dead now didn't do much to soothe her.
As much as Mara new that this was the assassin speaking within her, she'd have enjoyed killing them herself, with her own hands, for everything they had done to the man she loved.

While she had thought a little bit of distance to the whole thing would make her anger diminish a lot, the confrontation with her husband's state, mentally as well as physically, had peeked her wrath again and again.
At the very beginning of their voyage, Luke had shown her that he was ready to accept her help and that he had forgiven her for leaving him in the first place. Mara had felt eternally happy when he had placed his hand in hers and when he had given her this smile - the smile she knew so well and loved so much.

Nonetheless, that had been a mere beginning and the way to the old Luke, the Luke she knew before she had left him, before the war against the Yuuzhan Vong had brought so much pain and distress to them all, to the whole galaxy, was stony and full of obstacles.
Mara had hoped that the few days of hyperspace travel would give them the possibility to have a talk or two, or Luke a way of beginning to relax, but she had been wrong about that.

Totally unexpected for both of them, being enclosed in a ship the size of the Jade Sabre for the past four days had taken a huge toll on Luke. He had been nervous and barely able to sleep and had tried to distract himself by tinkering with all possible machinery he found lying around in the storage compartment.

Mara knew that he had had the occasional claustrophobic attack in a bacta tank in the past, but for several years now, a thing like this hadn't occurred anymore.
Thus, both of them had at first been at a total loss as to why it afflicted Luke that much and why his favourite place to be was the cockpit, where he could stare out into hyperspace and hadn't "the feeling of being pressed upon", as he had tried to explain to her.

She was sure that it was somehow linked to his torture that had taken place on a ship of similar size. What troubled her the most was the bundle of contradictions Luke seemed to have become since they were together again.
At the one hand, he insisted that he was fine and that he only needed some time to relax and rest, that all what had happened to him on the shaper's ship was something he could handle quite well on his own and about which she shouldn't worry too much.

His wife would be happy if she'd be able to actually believe this. His subconscious behaviour gave him away, big time. This discomfort of being on the Jade Sabre for so long, for example. Luke had never ever had problems of this sort before.
Aside from that, his jumpiness and his tending to don't say a word for hours were facts that spoke for themselves - that spoke a very clear language, indeed.

So Mara knew full well that her husbands had problems that were far more serious than anyone had thought. What she didn't knew was whether they were only caused by the memories of the torture he had undergone or whether there was more to it.

He was pretty hesitant towards her, something that irritated Mara deeply. Because it was obvious that he didn't hold any grudge against her. He had said to her more than one time that he loved her and that he did forgive her, even insisted that this mess had been his fault - Mara had been reasonably shocked about this last thing and had asked him what gave him this thought, but he hadn't answered her question, had changed the subject.

After several tries, Mara had just given up to poke him considering this and decided she'd wait till he opened himself to her fully.
She really hoped that the upcoming holiday would help him to find his mental balance again - and to get his body to heal. His weakness was still worrying her and she was determined to really give him everything he wanted during this vacation. He had deserved it, that was for sure.

The internal communication system cracked and, with a whiny edge to his voice, the object of her contemplations brought himself to notice again.
"Mara, this is ridiculous! Why don't you let me into the cockpit?"

Mara grinned broadly, imagining her husband sitting in the lounge, annoyance darkening his boyish features while he focused on the small intercom.
"I told you it's a surprise, farmboy. So stop complaining. You've got no reason to do so." Bringing her ship into a nice starboard curve, she set course onto the western continent of the planet before her, inwardly chuckling amused at the impatience of her love.
Despite his Jedi training, this particular ability was not one of Luke Skywalker's strengths. Especially not if it had to do with any surprises in his private life.
A low sound permeated the cockpit's air and Mara imagined how her husband shuffled on his seat, trying to withstand the urge to just open the cockpit hatch with his mind and rush in to see which planet he'd spend the next weeks on.

"Well, ok. Just hurry. I'm sick of being cramped in here." He finally said, his voice sounding tired and bodiless.

Mara grimaced bitterly - he had changed, changed a lot. Or rather, his behaviour towards her had changed. There was no bantering between them anymore, not the way it used to be before all this things had happened.
Sometimes Mara felt like Luke thought three times about every word he was going to say to her and that he was even afraid of being near her at times. It was a riddle to her - she couldn't find an explanation to his behaviour. He was not angry, he was not disappointed - when she reached towards him with her mind, she felt his love for her and how he enjoyed her mental touch.
But for physical touches - she sighed inwardly. He was afraid of them and she hadn't yet figured out why.

Just another question she would try to find answers to while they enjoyed being alone and for themselves for a really long time.

"All right, farmboy. Try to hold on a little longer. Only a few more minutes to go." She assured him, then switched off the intercom without waiting for a reply and opened a channel to the planet that was getting bigger and bigger in the viewport.

"Hanna City spaceport, this is the Ruby Fire, requesting permission to enter the planetary atmosphere and landing on a private estate. Do you copy?"

"Ruby Fire, this is Hanna City spaceport. Permission granted. We wish you a good time on our planet, Mistress Stonn."

Mara couldn't help but grin: "Thank you. Ruby Fire out." Switching off this channel, too, she gave the coordinates of their final destination to R2 and leaned back in her chair.
As Leia had insisted upon, they didn't travel under their real names. Luke's sister had been sure that they wouldn't succeed in having a calm minute when anyone learned where Luke Skywalker could be found. News reporters, ambassadors, functionaries - they all couldn't wait to get a minute with the Jedi Master - he had always been honored and respected as a hero by most parts of the galaxy, but after the whole Yuuzhan Vong matter, this had evolved to a kind of worshipping Luke found extremely troubling.
For someone who knew him, it wasn't hard to tell that Luke wasn't proud about what he had done above Ithor, but for almost everyone else in the galaxy, he and the Jedi Order were the reason that there was a peace treaty between the New Republic and the Yuuzhan Vong and that planets that had been taken away from their inhabitants were returned.
That captives who had been scheduled for sacrifice or misused for slave labour were brought back to their families and healed if they had been biologically tempered with - as the Yuuzhan Vong loved to do with their hostages.

So they had changed their names, now travelling under the cover of Li and Rena Stonn, a wealthy couple from Coruscant seeking some solace after the stressy times in the galaxy.
Up until now, it seemed to work. Mara hadn't spotted any other ship in the vicinity of the planet and it was practically impossible for anyone to know that they were coming - not even Leia and Han knew where Mara had taken Luke. Adding to this the fact that the Jade Sabre, thanks to Lando and Luke's long-time acquaintance Airen Cracken, had state-of-the-art surveillance equipment and scanners, ensuring that there was no tracking device anywhere on the ship, they should be quite safe to spend some lonely weeks here.

Admiring the beautiful landscape below her as her ship sped over seemingly endless plains, Mara's smile became genuine. It was a quiet, beautiful planet - something Luke would like.
When R2 gave a low whistle, she took control over the ship again and prepared the landing procedures.

**~

Luke Skywalker did his best to surpress his impatience. This particular part of the Jedi Code had always been his weak spot, but lately it had become much more of a nuisance than it usually was. That his wife made such a secretive fuss about the planet they were going on didn't help him either, of course.
At least, and Luke counted this as a BIG improvement, his nervousness was now motivated by curiosity. Mara had promised him that he'd like the planet she'd chosen and she'd said it would be a big surprise for him - something he had, as far as she knew, never had.

Now, Luke had been on many planets in his life, though he hadn't had the time to take a closer look on most, so he wondered what it was Mara had made up for him.

There was, however, another reason for his nervousness - Luke had originally wanted to ask Mara to let him land the Fire. For days now, he had been feeling the unnaturally great urge to get behind the control stick of a ship again. He didn't know why, but he was somehow afraid he had forgotten how to fly.

His wife though, his beautiful wife, hadn't even let him a chance to ask - she had just pushed him into the lounge, sealed the cockpit and threatened she'd stun him if he tried to come in and peek.
Luke snorted lowly. That was just Mara. As if she'd really be able to stun him anyways.

Impatiently patting his food, Luke nodded for himself. Yeah, he was curious and he was miffed because he had to sit here and had to let her land the ship. That was the only reason why he was that nervous.

His resolution held for about thirty seconds, then he sighed lowly and leaned back into the seat.
There was no good in lying to himself. The second Mara'd lower the ramp of the Jade's Fire, he'd be out of here and he'd be glad to.

Luke hadn't shared his feelings about that with Mara, not entirely. She knew that he was uncomfortable in the restrained space of the ship, but while she still pondered why - oh yes, he knew that she was constantly pondering what he did or not - Luke had long since recognised why he felt as he did.

Since the moment he had opened his eyes on the Millenium Falcon, after his family had freed him from the slavery of Elan, unbidden, horrible memories had kept coming back. They assailed his sleep and often enough his moments awake and they had brought him something he hadn't asked for.
For he had recognised that Mezhan Kwaad's ship, where he had undergone things he wanted nothing more than to forget, had been built much as the Jade Sabre. The same size, the same assortment of rooms of the same size.

This knowledge haunted him and made him jumpy and sometimes he had the feeling the walls would close in on him and engulf him, just like the drev-membrane had tried with his spirit.
He shivered slightly when this word passed through his head. It had been C-3PO who had told him how the thing had been called - as always in his mechanic life, the protocol droid hadn't quite understood that Luke didn't even want to know it.
Now he knew it and it made him sick whenever he thought about it. From time to time, his hand wandered unconsciously to his forehead and stroke over the place where the hole had been.

That was the only thing he still couldn't recall - how this membrane had come into his head. If he came to this point in his nightmares, in his terribly daydreams, a barrier build up and pushed him into reality again.
Luke was not sure whether he wanted this to change or not, whether he wanted to know everything or not.

Perhaps he didn't want to know it, he mused darkly, but he would have to shed light on it when he ever wanted to become himself again.

But what worried him far more was Mara. He tried everything to be as she wanted him to be. He'd not make a fuss about anything anymore and he wouldn't enforce his presence upon her - neither bodily, nor mentally.
But she was so... so curious in this regard. He felt irritated by how she treated him. For the first time in there marriage, Luke didn't know how to handle this situation.
He was not angry at Mara, had never been. She had made a decision and he had accepted it. That she was here again, with him, was wonderful, but Luke allowed himself no illusions.
He wouldn't make the same mistakes over and over again. Mara had her own life and he was not necessarily that big a part of it as he had originally thought he'd be. It hurt, but he'd accept it if it meant she would stay with him and would be happy.

Before he could loose himself further in these thoughts, the hatch of the lounge whooshed open and Mara walked in, grinning from ear to ear at him.

"We're finally there?" he asked, missing the mischievous twinkling in her eyes completely while he strapped out and rose. Mara just nodded, eyeing him intensively.

Luke sighed his relief aloud: "Thank the Force. I thought we'd never make it." Feeling the excitement and apprehension of smelling real air again and of seeing the sky above him, Luke began to make his way over to the ramp.

"Where do you think you're going, Skywalker?" Mara asked, a chuckle escaping her lips.

He turned, perching an eyebrow, meeting her stare befuddled: "Well, outside of course."

"Not without this." Before he could say another word, she had come up beside him and swung something around his eyes, blinding him effectively. He battled down a sudden surge of panic, chiding himself for being this fearful. After all, it was his WIFE.

"Mara, what the heck..." he was silenced by a hand coming out of nowhere and planting itself on his mouth. "Be quiet, farmboy. Just give me the pleasure of really surprising you, ok?"

"You wouldn't need the blindfold. You'd just have to say 'Keep your eyes closed, Luke.' " Luke said, finally succeeding in calming his beating heart, but not entirely banning the nervous trembling from his voice.

"You'd cheat." Mara laughed, taking his wrist and leading him down the corridor to the boarding ramp.

"I'd not cheat!" he exclaimed indignantly, but was cut off from ranting further about this when he felt her leading him down the ramp and the fresh air hit him totally unexpected.

It smelled good - marvellous, in fact. He could hear the twittering of birds not far away and a rather strong wind pulled at his hair.
"Good boy." Mara's voice whispered right beside his ear, causing him to jump in surprise. "Now just keep being quiet and follow me."

Luke nodded, feeling not totally at ease in the situation. He didn't like being this helpless, being guided, being not able to see where he walked and to decide himself which way to go.
Stubbornly trying to surpress the shady memories of obeying every word Priestess Elan had said, he concentrated on his surroundings - as much as he could feel and smell of them - and found a source of distraction and relaxation.
The soil he was walking on was soft and it feathered, his mind drawing the conclusion that it was probably lawn or something like this.
He enjoyed the feeling, trying to recall when the last occasion had been on which he'd been able to walk on something else than permabeton, transparisteel or yorik coral. It had definitely been too long.

He felt Mara's joy at his reaction and her amusement when he frowned as the soil got even softer and almost caused him to stumble.
Luke recognised the feeling of shuffling, and the sounds of it. This was sand. He was walking on sand. Could she have brought him to Tatooine??

No, this was impossible. His homeworld didn't smell like this. And there were no lawns on Tatooine. Even the richest people on the desert planet couldn't afford to keep something like this alive and beautiful.
So which planet was it?

They descended a long time, telling Luke that there must have been something like a precipice. The path had many curves and several times Mara urged him to take care of stony parts.
He was about to ask her whether she really believed he would fall - after all, he was a Jedi Master and that he couldn't see didn't mean he'd stumble anytime soon. Despite his blindness, he was very well aware how it had to look around him - at least in basic pictures.

Then, finally, they had finished their descent and Luke twitched when a shrill bird cry somewhere above him caused a whole lot of similar cries to answer.
They sounded vaguely familiar to him, he was sure he had heard something like this in holovid-tapes of something, but what...

After a few more minutes of walking, two things finally let Luke recognise where he was. For once, the air suddenly smelled salty, rather wild and fresh, something he had only smelled once in his whole life. And second, he heard the steady, regular beat of water splashing against land. He felt sudden excitement take over and reached for his blindfold, tearing it off his face.

And then, after he had blinked several times against a now blinding sun, he saw the most beautiful sight he had ever faced and felt immediately at ease on this planet.

**~

Mara had been mesmerised by just watching his facial expressions change from the point they had left the Jade's Fire. Trusting her Force sense to keep her from stumbling, she had nailed her gaze on his gaunt, but for her still so handsome features to don't miss any of his reactions.

She had been able to tell immediately that he liked the air on the planet, had felt his muscles relax as he had breathed deeply. While she had guided him along the way, she had practically seen on his face the way his thoughts had taken.
First he had furrowed his forehead in intense concentration when she had taken him over the lawn. Mara had almost laughed out loud upon the expression on his face when he had almost stumbled as the lawn became sand.
And then, when they had been only some dozens of meters away from her surprise for him, she had felt his sudden understanding and excitement.

She herself felt indescribable happy that he loved it so much. Standing there on the beach of a world he still didn't know, he stared out at the sea, a sea that glittered silver under the bright sun and seemed fascinated.

Smiling, Mara walked up to him and took his hand, following his eyes as they tracked a bunch of native sea birds drawing their circles high in the air.
"Do you like it?" she asked expectantly.

Luke turned his head, staring at her with wide, blue eyes that glittered like those of a little boy that experienced the wonders of the universe for the first time.

"It is wonderful." He whispered, sinking to the floor without letting her hand go and watching the tiny waves that splashed onto the sand only half a meter from his feet.

As he sat there, his hair ruffled by the sea wind, his eyes shining with a happiness he hadn't felt for weeks and his hand resting in hers, Mara felt like her heart would spill over with love for him.
Her choice of a vacation spot had been fine - that gave her hope that everything else would play out for the better, too.

After some moments of silence, Luke lifted his stare once again, eyeing Mara curiously: "How did you know?"

"Did know what?" she asked, pushing some hairs out of his forehead. Of course that was in vain, the wind was strong, but she felt the urge to do it, to touch him. In fact, she did want nothing more than to kiss him right now, but every time she had tried in the past days, she had felt insecurity and irritation from him.
After a few seconds of silent pondering, she decided not to risk spoiling the moment.

"That I've never been at the sea." He said lowly, giving a hesitant, but radiating smile and letting his gaze sweep once again over the endless, glittering panorama before them.

Mara shrugged: "Lucky guess."

Luke perched an eyebrow, giving her one of his 'Oh, come on' stares and Mara gave in laughing: "Well, ok, so I didn't guess that much. I asked Leia."

Luke grinned, then took a real look around him, seeing a huge cliff dotted with the occasional bushy plant. That must be what he had mistaken for a simple precipice. The sky had a normal enough colour, there was only one sun, a silver sea and a beach with sand that was so totally different from the sand he knew.

Engrossed, he let some of it run through his fingers. "What?" Mara asked, enjoying seeing him examining the surroundings and seeing the delight in his features. They had held so much tiredness, fear and sorrow in the last time, it was wonderful to see those worry lines vanish and joy creeping back into his eyes.

"It's so... soft." He said, clearly not knowing how to express himself. Shifting his attention towards her, he explained: "On Tatooine, the sand was hard - hard and hot. If there was wind, you had to protect your skin or it could get really nasty, you know."

Mara just smiled. After a while, she poked him gently at the shoulder: "So, Jedi Master, any guesses as to which planet I've brought you to?"

With a mischievous sparkle in his eyes, Luke jumped to his feet and smiled down at her: "The moment I could see again." He claimed.
Mara perched an eyebrow: "Sure. Whatever you say." She mocked.

Luke laughed, then folded his arms before his chest: "I may have never been here, Mara, but I know which planet in this universe has silver seas and is that close to Coruscant that you only need four days to get there."

"And?"

"Well, we're on Chandrila." He stated, turning his back on her and staring along the beach that seemed to go on forever without any living being on it. "Though I don't know exactly where." He added after a while.

Mara rose to her feet and went up behind him, embracing him from behind, laying her chin on his shoulder. She caught his short shiver and his almost not-to-notice flicker of insecurity, but then he relaxed in her arms.

"Somewhere far away from civilisation. And reporters." She said lowly.

Luke smiled at that. For a while, they just stood and enjoyed, until he shifted in her arms and looked curiously at her: "So, are we supposed to sleep on the beach for the next weeks, or what?"

Mara laughed, overplaying her irritation about his making himself free of her arms rather harshly. "Of course not. Come on."

And with this, she made her way up the way they had come earlier. Luke did follow her somewhat slower, still having to be careful of not overdoing it. When he finally had caught up with her and saw what was supposed to be their home for a time, he just could gape.

"Mara! That's... that's.."

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Mara grinned, standing before a huge bungalow that looked rather expensive. White stone and a huge garden were the most striking witnesses to that, as well as some parts of the walls being wholly made from glass, giving insight into beautiful, but extravagantly furnished rooms.

"It's..." Luke shook his head. "Gods, Mara, how did you PAY for that? Have you robbed some bank while I was in the bacta goo again?"
He finally made his way towards her, coming to a halt before the door leading into the house.

His wife snickered annoyed: "Skywalker, don't think about money now. I wanted you to have a great time, so don't complain or I could change my mind."

"But.." he began, but was caught off by Mara glaring at him: "Don't spoil the moment, farmboy. It belongs to Lando, ok? He bought it from Mon Mothma some years ago and I've got the keys for it."

Luke closed his mouth, contemplating this a moment, then began: "Lando...?"
A daring look from his wife let him close his mouth at once: "Ok, I'm quiet. "

Mara nodded appreciatively: "Better for your health, anyways. Come on, I show you around."

**~

Some half an hour later, Luke stood in the garden behind the house, admiring the great view. If one sat on the terrace, one could only see the sea, for miles going on, without anyone. There was much greenery all around, something he liked a lot, having never had this in his childhood.

The inside of the house was not less appealing to him, the rooms being spacious, yet cosy, with a chimney in the living room, a bathroom that was the size of a small hall and a bedroom that wasn't much smaller.

All in all, a pretty place - a place he'd never thought he live in for more than a day. Luxury estates weren't what Luke appreciated normally, he was a simple man, had always been, but he admitted that he liked it here. The place had him enchanted.

Turning around to go back inside, through a glass door that lead directly into the living room, he caught sight of a small, white-furred creature that watched him out of a small bush.
Big ears and eyes almost let it seem like a rabbit, but yet, it wasn't. He knew exactly what it was, having studied some files about Chandrila years ago.

"See what we've got here." He said lowly, approaching the little animal quietly. "What are you doing here, little one? How did you get over the fence?"

Laughing about himself for posing questions like this to an animal, he kneeled down some two meters in front o it and held out his left hand, the real one. "Come here." He coaxed. "Come here, I'm bringing you out of here."
With a low squeal, the animal retreated further into the leaves of the bush, causing Luke to crawl after it slowly.

When it had reached the fence and couldn't go any further, it began to hiss, but Luke knew exactly that squalls, as they were called, couldn't inflict much damage, even if they wanted to.
Just the moment he caught it and held it securely in his arms, Mara's voice sounded behind him.
"Lost something, Skywalker, or playing gardener? I thought you'd help me get packed out in there."

Luke smiled to himself and wiggled out of the bush.

~**

Mara had folded her arms and was rather admiring her husband's backside when he had freed himself of the bush, rose and turned around.

"Neither of those, Mar. I've just found a little indeliberate guest, that's all." He smiled broadly, but frowned when Mara's eyes widened.

She could only see a white, furry heap in his arms that quivered reasonably. When she held out a hand to touch it, a small head peeked up, with two glittering, black eyes staring at her curiously and suspiciously at the same time.
It still quivered and once and again tried to jump out of Luke's arms, but it seemed to have understood that no one wanted to harm it. Yet.

"Skywalker, what is that?" Mara asked, her tone changing slightly.

"That's a squall. They are native here. It must have gotten in here with the cleaning personnel and hasn't found out again." He explained, overplaying her obvious discomfort.
"Right, little one? You've gotten lost." He added in a low voice, caressing the animal behind its ears and sending him soothing thoughts.
The little thing relaxed and began to purr - or at least to do something that sounded similar.

"Then bring it out of here." Mara stated. She had never liked this type of animals, and she didn't want to begin now.
Luke sighed exasperated and seemed to be disappointed, but brought it out nonetheless.

Mara watched him go, then looked over the sea. It was so beautiful here and Luke had liked it. That was the most important thing. She hadn't wanted to disappoint him - he surely didn't want to keep this animal, did he? Though with Luke, one never knew.

She stood there for a while, enjoying the sounds of the sea, the birds and the feeling of being alone and safe with her husband, then she turned and went into the house again.

The living room was really spacious, two of its walls being entirely made of transparisteel and looking out over the see.
A huge chimney was the striking part of it, a few earth brown pieces of furniture, big and stuffy, but tasty, grouped around it. From there, a small door lead to the kitchen and the dining room. She took a small stairway of a couple of steps up and stood in the bedroom.

This had originally been her favourite room and she did admit to herself that she could barely wait to spend a night in one bed with her husband again. It had been far too long since she'd felt his body beside hers. Far, far too long.

When she entered, Luke was laying on the left side of the bed, his head turned towards the open window. A slight breeze still ruffled his hair and his breathing was getting slower, indicating that he was in the process of drifting off.
In this state, there were still almost no lines in his youthful face. Only around the eyes his age could be guessed.

Smiling to herself, admiring his delicate features, she went up to him and sat down at the edge of the bed, just watching him. As much as she'd love to let him sleep for a while, it'd be better to wake him up.
He had to get assimilated to the day-night circle of this planet which was slightly different from Coruscant and it would be better to begin immediately with this process.

"Luke?" She pushed him slightly. His eyes fluttered a little bit, but he didn't wake up immediately.

"Luke? Wake up, Luke!" Mara urged laughing, leaning down to shake him a little bit stronger. But she didn't even get a chance. The moment she had said these words, his eyes had opened and now he stared at her, shivering softly.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Mara asked irritated, taking his hand into hers and eyeing him intently.
Luke just kept staring at her, frowning, slowly shaking his head. "I... I don't know. It's.. it was just like a sort of d?-vu."

Mara caressed his hand, worry still obvious on her face. "You ok?"

Luke nodded smiling, stretching a little bit.

"See what you get out of just laying down in bed." She teased, hoping to ease his mood further. To her utter surprise, the reaction it caused was quite the opposite of what Mara had intended.
Paling instantly, Luke practically jumped to his feet, giving her this half-enthusiastic, soothing and at the same time mournful smile she had never seen on him in the time before the Yuuzhan Vong.

"You're right, of course. I don't want to disturb you." He laughed shortly, nervously, then turned around. "I'm going to get the rest of the luggage." And with this, he fled from the scene. She heard his steps just until he was out in the garden, then saw his slender form vanish behind a couple of chandrilan trees.

Still rather stupefied, she lowered her gaze onto the spot where he had rested just minutes ago. Somehow, she had the feeling a terrible misunderstanding had just occurred between them.

~**

Luke leaned heavily against the Jade's Fire, taking a few deep breaths to steady his heartbeat.
He should have known it - he really should have known it. Only a simple embrace and a couple of smiles had made him commit the same mistakes he had vowed to avoid.

What had he been thinking, lying down in the bed Mara wanted to sleep in? Hadn't she made it clear enough to him what she thought about him?

Yes, Luke pondered, she had, but then, she had behaved that differently during the last hours. She had embraced him and took his hand and he had begun to hope again. Somehow.

Giving a trembling sigh, Luke turned to see R2-D2 dragging two bags out of the storage compartment.
Perhaps she'd just wanted to test him. Or she had been in a curious mood. Anyways, it was nothing that should make him think Mara had changed her opinion. He wouldn't be that na? anymore.

Nodding courage to himself, he grabbed the bags and headed back to the house.

To Be Continued
Healing - Part 2

Chandrila, Day 1
When they finally had finished unpacking their stuff, the sun was about to settle down, offering everyone who cared to halt some minutes in what they were doing a stunning view.
Being from a metallic, silver colour in daylight, the evening sun seemed to set the see afire, turning its cool shimmering into a radiating, almost blinding, rich red-gold. The bedroom in the spacious bungalow Mara had borrowed from Lando seemed all the more cosy and inviting in the dawn - whoever had chosen the colour of the walls, the furniture, the covers, he or she had had good taste.
Light and earthy browns dominated the rooms in this bungalow and with the evening sun shining directly into them, not blocked by walls, but let through by the transparisteel, it almost glowed with warmth.
Mara pushed the last of the now empty bags in the farthest corner of the small storage compartment that was accessible below the bed, hidden by wood that had the most intricate patterns she had ever seen on it. Rising and turning towards the large window, she gave a silent smile.
Luke sat in the window frame, staring out over the sea, his expression almost spell-bound to the sun and the hordes of birds which dove into the water, chasing prey.
Even in the few hours they had been here, Mara had been able to see how much he loved this place. It was quiet here - there was no noise from speeders, ships, other people or droids. There were no people except the two of them. And the air - the air was rich of smells, fresh and hhealthy.
Though his skin hadn't reached the slightly tanned tone she loved so much, he had gained colour since he'd been breathing the chandrilan air. He seemed to be more awake and he had smiled quite a few times over the day.
Just until she had found him sleeping in here and had woken him up. Frowning slightly, leaning against the wall and keeping her eyes on her husband's face, admiring the way his eyes seemed to have turned into glittering rubies, she once again tried to review what had happened and make sense out of it.
She had triggered a bad memory by waking him up the way she had done it, so much was obvious to her. Mara even allowed herself the conclusion that it must have been the words she had said. She had woken him up quite a few times during their voyage here and in the clinic back on Coruscant and he had never reacted quite like that before.
On her gentle questions, though, which she had tried to pose all through the afternoon, he hadn't answered - at least nothing very helpful to her. She was not entirely sure whether he really didn't knew what he had unconsciously remember or whether he just didn't want to tell her. Either way, it bugged her.
Though she was pretty sure that this hadn't been the reason for his almost-escape from her when she had teased him.
Something had gone totally wrong there, but what exactly that hadn't yet revealed itself to Mara.
She had her guesses, but even those were not awesomely detailed or anything near to logical. All she had noted was that Luke was back to being hesitant and extremely shy around her after he had come back from the ship, their bags on his shoulders.
Somehow, she mused, she brought him to act this way - though she hadn't any clue how and why. It was as if Luke were afraid to do something wrong in her presence. Had she done this much damage by leaving him? Until this day, she had just assumed that his trust in her had been what had suffered the most when she had left him on Ithor.
Could it be that the damage to the trust in himself had been far worse? Luke seemed to trust her as much as before - he hadn't yet told her anything about his imprisonment and his torture, but that was more than understandable. It had nothing to do with the trust he had in her.
It was a simple matter of it being too fresh to be spoken out loud - at least that's what everyone, from Cilghal to Han had been telling Mara before they had left Coruscant.
And of course it made sense - whatever they had done to him, it must have been something terrible. The injuries, the way they had found him on the shaper's ship, was witness enough to that fact.
So he didn't trust himself to do the right things in her presence - that was something Mara strongly suspected.
In a way, it relieved her immensely. Luke had had problems of this sort before, she knew that. Trust and confidence in himself had never been something Luke Skywalker had possessed a lot of. Mara also knew how to deal with this.
She had overcome his shyness once - he had been everything but daring after they had confessed their feelings for each other. Luke had been disappointed too often in his life - had given too much when receiving nothing in return.
It had surprised Mara that she had been that patient - now, when looking back, she could see that they had both helped each other in this regard.
While she had taught him to enjoy getting something back, even expecting to get something back, he had taught her how to give feelings and love without feeling weak.
It had worked out immensely and Mara's love for him had grown to a size she'd never have expected.
She would do anything for him and she would help him to restore his self-confidence - to find him laughing again. Not only smiling, even if genuinely, but laughing. She missed his laughter a lot.
Only after her marriage, she had come to see what a funny, normal guy Luke could be if he stopped talking about Jedi Knights, the galaxy or any political mess the New Republic was in - again.
It had enticed her and with every time she had heard him laugh or joke, she had fallen in love more with him. With the reckless, idealistic, funny and curious farmboy he somehow had managed to contain in himself despite all he had been through.
No one and nothing - neither her own stupidity nor the cruel schemes of aliens from another galaxy - would destroy that. Not as long as she lived to prevent it from happening.
Rising to her feet and brushing off non-existing filth from her trousers reflexively she went over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. She felt him tensing uncharacteristically, then, after a few seconds that seemed like an eternity, relaxing a little bit. But not fully. It would be not easy, she told herself.
"What are you thinking of?" she asked lowly, leaning against the wall and gently pressing his shoulder, feeling his muscles move when he shifted slightly to look at her.
He smiled, this curious smile: "The birds."
Mara perched an eyebrow, focusing on one of the rather clumsy looking animals that turned into fantastic swimmers once they had changed the element. "Not particularly beautiful." She commented
A sarcastic, yet gentle snort could be heard, then Luke shook his head: "You're not much into admiring nature, are you, Mar?"
Mara stared at him a moment, then, drinking in his sight, grinned mischievously: "I was admiring something else, farmboy."
Luke's low smirk vanished, for a moment she had the feeling of him frowning, though no wrinkle creased his forehead.
Turning once again towards the sea, he murmured: "I have missed birds. Those are beautiful in comparison to hawk-bats."
As soon as he had turned, Mara allowed her surprise and bafflement to be seen on her features. Not only that he hadn't reacted in the slightest way to her compliment, he had seemed startled by it. Startled and irritated. Something was going IMMENSELY wrong here.
It frustrated Mara to no end that she wasn't able to figure it out. Even more so, it made her feel insensible and clumsy towards him. She wanted nothing more than to help him forget the ordeal he had been through, to relax and enjoy himself.
Instead, she continuously managed to either irritate or frighten him. Narrowing her eyes, focussing on his face, she tried to find a sign of what had been her fault this time.
There was not much for her to read, except that his eyes now held a sort of sadness and a kind of surprise, bafflement, that was making her extremely uncomfortable.
His expression seemingly serene, just except the eyes, he looked absolutely perfect. The sun had sunken almost into the sea now and the light it cast was now soft, not blinding, hiding his paleness. Instead, his face seemed beautiful and almost like painted there, in a soft, golden tone, with his eyes sparkling while reflecting the few rays that still found their way into the house.
Instinctively, overwhelmed by the urge to touch him after this long a time - Force, it had been more than two months - she reached out, cupped his cheek and turned his face towards her.
The moment the sun only met the back of his head, his eyes turned back into the hypnotising blue that had always fascinated her.
He didn't say a word and he hadn't, too. A look into his eyes was everything what Mara needed to tell what he thought - it had always been this way since the day they had shared their first kiss.Since then, Luke had never put up his barriers if it came to her. And he didn't do it now, either. Nonetheless, what she saw in these big orbs she couldn't interpret.
They stared at her, they azure seemingly swirling with thoughts, insecurity and surprise - it was a mess she hadn't yet brought order into and Mara couldn't guess when she'd even begin with it.
Originally, she had wanted to kiss him, but this look in his eyes stopped her. Somehow, she knew that this was not what she should do now.
It seemed to have taken an eternity for her to come to this conclusion - having been only seconds in reality - and she resorted to lightly strike his cheek with her thumb. It was silky smooth - shaving once a week was everything he needed. It was some Force thingie - if he didn't want a beard, then he didn't grow one. It was that simple.
Mara remembered this day - one of the first mornings they had woken up together and she being startled because he had never been shaving.
And then she had teased him for weeks about this "arrogant and futile" way of using the Force. Never had she told him that she'd shave him personally if he ever should get the insane idea of letting himself grow a beard. She liked him just like that.
Now, Luke didn't say a word, just stared at her, obviously contemplating something, too. But somehow Mara guessed it was quite different from what she had in her head right now.
But he didn't shy away from her hand, like he had done on Kwaad's ship and she didn't feel the need to let go of him just now.
~**
If he hadn't caught himself in the last moment, Luke would have just gaped at Mara's comment. She couldn't mean him, could she? She would certainly not be admiring him!? No, he said silently to himself, that was impossible and nonsense.
But why did she do that? Why? He just didn't understand the way she acted. At the one hand, she gave him clear messages and he had been comfortable with her being just there. Like friends.
He wished for more, but after he had accepted that there was no way to, he had been really content with her just being with him.
The embraces had surprised him, made him insecure, but he had recognised that they were friendly meant. He had thought they could be friends - he would always love her, of course, but he would never demand something similar from her.
So, he had really begun to feel at ease and enjoy it here. He liked this planet extremely, feeling safe and happy here, enjoying the quiet, beautiful nature.
Then everything had changed - it had been his fault. He had become too daring, had stupidly hoped that something had changed. She had made clear that it had not and he had gotten the hint.
And now... now she just stood there, stroking his cheek and he, he sat there, still, staring at her, not knowing what to think or what to do.
She was so beautiful, Luke thought. The light of dawn made her hair look like flames, stray rays of the sun setting glittering, golden highlights into it.
This underlined the green of her eyes - they looked brilliant. The well-known scent of her perfume permeated his sense and he felt, most unwelcome, the urged to take her into his arms and kiss her.
But that would be just the wrong thing to do, wouldn't it? It would be the same mistake he had made again and again.
She had made clear to him what she wanted and what not, abundantly clear, and he would act according to it.
What startled him where the changes of her behaviour - she reinforced what she had said, then she baited him, lured him. Perhaps she wanted to test him, he mused.
Relieved, he gave a mental nod. Yes, that must be it. She wanted to test him, make sure that he had understood what she wanted and that she could trust him to respect her wishes.
And she COULD trust him, Luke would make sure that she knew that.
Relieved that he had solved this riddle for now, Luke smiled at her.
~**
Mara was delighted when her husband smiled at her, somewhat shyly, but he smiled. At first she had had the feeling he was a tad uncomfortable with her stroking his cheek, but now, he seemed to enjoy it - sort of.
Intensifying her contemplation of his boyish, but yet mature features, she caught the first signs of tiredness. "We should go to bed. You're looking exhausted." She said softly, taking her hand away and stretching a little bit.
Immediately, a haunted look replaced the content in Luke's face. He didn't answer her, just shifted a little bit in the window frame, biting his lip.
Mara's expression changed into one of compassion and she took his hands in hers. "Luke, I know you're afraid. But you HAVE to sleep and you know that."
"I can't anyway." He murmured defensively, frustrated. Mara sighed lowly. This was a problem even the Force couldn't help him with. As soon as he had fallen asleep, he was assaulted by nightmares - more than enough times, she had shaken him awake when he had screamed and cried in his sleep, never succeeding in getting him to tell her what exactly he had dreamed.
In fact, he never said a single word after those nightmares, simply brushing her soul in gratitude and drawing back into himself, willing himself into a trance or taking a sleeping pill when even this wouldn't work.
Mara felt that she'd be able to help him a great deal if he'd only tell her what he dreamt, but she knew better than to push him into talking about it. With time, he'd confide into her - at least that was what she hoped.
Pressing his hand to reassure him, she turned towards the small stairway down into the living room: "Just get ready, Luke, I'm going to make you some Hila tea."
He nodded not entirely persuaded and headed off to the bathroom while Mara went down into the living room and from there into the kitchen.
Hila tea was something Tionne had introduced her to when she had come to visit Luke on Coruscant. It had the effect of a light sedative, calming those who drank it down and was a often used, natural way to ease people's insomnia.
It helped Luke to at least fall asleep and have some hours of rest, even if the Jedi Master mostly refused drinking even a single cup.
He was stubborn, this husband of hers, she mused. He wanted to get through it on himself - of all his family, Mara was the one who was able to deal with this the best. She would act the exact same way if she were in his position.
In one corner of the kitchen, R2 had plugged into a small energy station and tooted a greeting when she entered.
It was followed by a slow twittering that sounded like a question. Mara could very well guess what the little droid wanted to know.
"He's fine, R2. I'm going to make him some tea and then he'll sleep - I hope." R2 hooted his doubts about that, but Mara ignored him.
Considering the fact that droids weren't supposed to have any feelings at all, this astromech unit offered an annoying amount of pessimism, no matter what situation.
It took Mara only a couple of minutes to prepare the tea - she had brewed it a little bit stronger than usual, so that Luke would only have to take a cup. He didn't particularly its taste, which was rather bitter.
Almost humming to herself, cheered up by the knowledge that Luke reacted extremely good on sedatives when he turned off his Force barriers, what meant he'd probably have a good night's rest, she stopped short when she entered the bedroom again.
If she hadn't been Mara Jade, ex-Emperor's Hand and Jedi Master, she'd just have dropped the cup. Clad in a wide cut shirt and trousers of black colour, Luke had already snuggled into the bed, or was in the process to do just that, showing her his back.
What had caused Mara's reaction was the fact that he had separated the double bed. He had just separated the bed. Between the right and the left half, there was no a space of some one and a half meter. Mara didn't know whether to be infuriated or amused. Was this some sort of joke??
She was about to give a comment when Luke turned, smiling at her brilliantly, obviously not even suspecting that anything was wrong.
Mara caught herself in the last moment, deciding to accept this for now. Judging by his state of mind, she would rather confront him about all this when she had figured out his problems entirely. Until then, she'd just go with him.
Forcing herself to smile back, she went towards him and put the steaming cup into his hands. "There. I'm going to get ready for be and you're going to drink that."
He made a face and sipped hesitantly at it. Mara quipped an eyebrow and folder her arms before her chest. "Luke!" she growled.
He sighed, then shrugged: "Ok, ok, I'll drink it, I'll drink it." Content, she nodded and went towards the bathroom. "That doesn't mean I've got to like it, though." She heard him mumble, causing her to smile broadly.
Thinking about what had caused him to separate their beds, Mara undressed, washed and put on one of Luke's old shirts that went just till her knees. By the time she sat down on her own bed, Luke was dozing with eyes closed, sprawled onto his stomach in a relaxed, quite enticing way.
The now empty cup was situated on the floor and Mara chuckled lowly. As she had thought - as soon as Luke didn't use the Force to fight against the sedating ingredients, he fell prey to them only minutes after swallowing them. Like every normal human.
It was astonishing how surprised you could be about things that were normal for average people, just because it was about Luke Skywalker now.
Covering him up again, for the blanket had slipped down to his knees, she brushed her lips over his forehead. "Good night, my love." She said lowly.
He sighed lowly, turned on his back, then was quiet again. Out cold, Mara thought amused. Lying down herself in her bed, shaking her head in irritation about this new quirk of him, she settled in and closed her eyes. She didn't have to solve all riddles in one day. She had time enough to go slow. Listening to Luke's quiet, deep breathing, Mara fell asleep soon.
Chandrila, Day 2
A shrill cry seemingly coming from just beside her woke Mara, but she didn't yet open her eyes. Rather, she enjoyed the sounds of the sea that came from the beach some kilometre away and the sounds of the birds that just awoke.
The air was still cool and fresh and she felt wonderful lying there - comfortable and cosy. Stretching, she extended one of her arms to touch her husband, but her hand only met empty air.
Mara could help but sigh very lowly when she remember that she slept in the other half of the bed, one and a half meters away from her. So, the morning was not entirely perfect, she mused annoyed.
Opening her eyes for the first time, she glanced over to the bed her husband was laying in. It was still untouched by the sun, but she could see him clearly. Now, in sleep, he looked relaxed and fine.
Laying on his side, facing her, the seemingly ever present frown when he didn't take a cup of the Hila tea before sleeping, was nowhere to be found.
There was nothing that spoiled his beauty now. Even the slight, fine lines in the corner of his eyes were something Mara loved. She eagerly awaited the moment where they would deepen - when Luke laughed and his eyes would twinkle in the way she was used to.
Moving soundlessly, she got out of the bed and made her way towards the kitchen. Even when she didn't know yet what to do to heal his soul, she could just begin with his body. And nothing was better for him than a good breakfast after a night of deep sleep.
It took her half an hour, then she returned to the bedroom with a tablet filled with all possible things. She was not much of a cooker, so she had taken everything that had seemed edible and from what she knew Luke liked it.
Fresh bread had been brought by someone from the city - she had ordered this before they had come here, thinking it would be nice to not have to go shopping every day.
Luke had still not awoken, though he had shifted a few times, now lying on his back, his arm above his head, his lips slightly parted.
Again, she wanted to kiss him, but after her experiences with waking him up, she decided to go for a simple version of it.
Brushing the hairs - which had grown quite a bit since she had left him on Ithor - out of his forehead, she said aloud: &qquot;Breakfast's ready, flyboy!"
He blinked lazily, the blue of his eyes dark and cloudy from sleep and the tea. In this moment, he looked very vulnerable, though this impression vanished after he had stretched and blinked a few times more.
Stifling a yawn, he sat up and looked around. Finally focussing on Mara, he shook his head: "I don't like this tea."
She laughed about that, putting the tablet onto the bed just beside his feet. "It has helped you have a calm night. You've slept like a baby."
He sighed, but smiled: "I can't even remember falling asleep, but well - I'm not complaining anymore."
Mara nodded appreciatively: "Good. Now let's eat. You're going to need it."
He took a closer look at the tablet and finally chose a piece of bred and something that looked like marmalade of some sort. "More surprises?" he asked, eyeing her curiously, yet a little bit uncomfortable.
She grinned: "You bet. I'm sure you'll like it. But we still have time to eat." Mara enjoyed the way he kept looking at her, curiosity shining from his eyes, chewing on his bread.
After the breakfast, she felt pretty content - hadn't eaten as much as she remembered him to eat, but he HAD eaten. Normally, Luke Skywalker was ALWAYS hungry - another thing that had changed.
They talked a little bit, Mara trying to get him to have a normal discussion with her as they had had it before Ithor. It worked partially, even if she had the feeling he tried to avoid contradicting her too much, choosing topics he knew they'd agree.
As much as it annoyed her, she didn't want it to spoil her fun and his surprise. Grabbing a bag she had prepared the evening before, while unpacking, she rose and gestured at Luke to follow her.
"Surprise is waiting."
~**
To get to this day's surprise, they had had to take quite a long walk, but Mara didn't mind that. Even more so when she remarked how Luke grew more and more comfortable with her holding his hand.
He was rather attentive, though at first, they just went the way he already knew from the day before. He already began to frown, recalling nothing special about that place, nothing that'd surprise him, when she dragged him further, in the direction of one of the cliffs that blocked the way to one side of the beach.
Or so Luke had thought. "You've been researching this place?" he asked amazed, when Mara showed him a small cave that extended into the cliff and whose opening was obviously at the other side, for it was lighted softly.
She grinned: "Don't I always do that?" He laughed: "And I'm supposed to crawl through this now? What's at the other side?" "You'll see. Now get moving, Skywalker!"
Luke hesitated for a moment, then shrugged and crawled behind Mara through the cave. It was not as far as he had though by looking into it and when he wiggled out of it, he stared once again open-mouthed at the treasure Mara had led him, too.
It was a small bay, with calm water that wasn't rippled by wind and therefore was transparent. Stones and coloured coral was visible on the ground which descended into depths that he couldn't see from where he stood.
A few trees were situated against the cliff, that encircled the whole bay, just up to a rather narrow opening to the sea. "It is wonderful." He said, taking a few steps on the fine, warm sand and looking around. It really wasn't big, but that was what made it that special.
"It IS big." Mara said, fidgeting into the bag she had brought with her. Sensing her secretiveness, Luke hadn't even asked what was in it. "Below the water, that is. The beach is tiny, relatively, but we are only two, so I guess there's no problem, is there?"
Luke grinned and shook his head no. Then he focussed again on the plants around him, curious as ever. He just wanted to go off exploring the bushes when Mara practically stabbed something into his face.
Startled, he took a step back and stared at it, trying to recognise what it embodied. It was black, small and at the first view, he was at a total loss, Mara having cramped it into an almost-ball in her hand.
He frowned and looked quizzically at her, what got her to snort: "Take a look at it. It's a bathing short, weirdo!"
"Oh..!" Luke mouthed, then hesitantly grabbed it. "THAT'S the surprise?!" he then added, his eyes staring at her sheepishly.
Mara rolled her eyes exasperated: "Of course not. Just put it on and I'm showing you the surprise." Luke took it, stared at it for while, fidgeting nervously.
Mara didn't seem to notice it upon taking her own bathing dress out of the bag and putting it on. Luke was riveted for a moment by her slender, but well-trained form and the silky, white skin when she stood there undressed before him. He hadn't much time to admire that, though, for she slipped immediately into a tight-fitting, black dress that looked as if it belonged to the same set her black bodysuit belonged to either.
Shaking himself awake, sort of, he used the time she was focused on her own closing to slip out of his and put the swimming short on. Mara's frown at his haste and his avoiding her seeing him did go unnoticed when he looked at her with a mix of excitement and nervousness.
She pushed something slimy into his hand, then took his wrist and dragged him into the water. Recognising one of the living breathing masks of the Mon Calamari, Luke put it on and let himself being dragged with her. The water was cool, but not uncomfortably so and the ground was soft and wonderful to walk onto, at least where they walked.
"Mara, I know how to swim. That's not exactly..." he began, but was interrupted by a grinning Mara who dragged powerfully at his arm, making him loose his balance and fall face-first into the water. His first thought was that he'd hit the floor, but he didn't. When he opened his eyes again, he was floating in the silver, crystal clear water, Mara just in front of him.
The swimming suit fit her perfectly and when she moved, she looked like the legendary nixes he had been told about by his aunt, way back when he was little boy. Her hair was a glittering mass that flowed around her freely. She was a picture of perfect beauty and Luke couldn't help but smile enchanted.
She didn't seem to catch that, though, and when he kept looking at her, she gestured impatiently for him to look around. Nodding foolishly, he did. And if he hadn't had this breathing mask on, he'd have gasped in surprise.
If he found the planet above the water beautiful, this was something he had never seen - the whole ground of the sea was full of sparkling corals in all possible colours, as well as green water plants and hordes of equally colourful fishes. They were obviously living at the ground, for they never came to where Luke and Mara floated, directly under the surface.
Luke was riveted by it. He had seen pictures and heard tales about coral reefs, of course, but had never seen one. All these years where he had been off Tatooine, he had never found the time to actually visit a planet just to see what was worth to see.
Now that he had the possibility, it preoccupied his mind. Nature was something beautiful, everything here was beautiful and it erased all memories of the Yuuzhan Vong temporarily.
At the first moment, he even forget that Mara was there, turning around and swimming down to the ground, slowly, so as to not disturb the fish to much, in order to examine those things more closely.
~**
Mara didn't mind that he turned away from her immediately and went exploring. She had expected and hoped just this. Had hoped to fascinate him with this world he didn't know. A world of quiet, serenity, beauty and peace. And it worked. She had seen the way his eyes had widened, had seen this fascination in them, and that was enough for her to be happy.
Floating a moment longer there, she used the opportunity to admire him a little more. During the time they had needed to get here, he had begun to eat normally again. He wasn't back to how he had been when she had left him, but he wasn't this terribly thin anymore either.
She watched the way his muscles moved when he swam through the water, powerful and fast, yet very graceful and giving the impression of a being that actually belonged into the water. She made a mental note to ask him where he had learnt to swim like this, being raised on a desert planet, then followed him.
~**
Luke was just about to make friends - well, sort of - with a swarm of little, yellow fishes who had been following him while he examined a couple of deep purple corals that looked just like a small town, when he felt Mara come up near him.
He turned, staring right into her face - the shimmering mass of the breathing mask did nothing to diminish her beauty and when he saw her smile, he smiled broadly and genuinely back at her.
She was so beautiful and this was so beautiful - he was overwhelmed. Taking her hand, he took her with him to show what he had already found. The rest, they would examine together. For the first time for almost a year, he had completely forgotten the Yuuzhan Vong, the war, the pain.
~**
Mara's heart jumped in delight when her husband smiled back at her, broadly, his eyes shining, even as they travelled through her face. Now he was Luke again. It had been about time.
He didn't have to be humble himself. His delicate nose and full lips always seemed extremely handsome to her and the big eyes completed the picture. The mop of his hair was floating around him, letting him seem even more boyish than usual. Only too happy to have him in this mood, she let herself be led by him.
~**
It was already afternoon when they splashed back onto the beach, a little exhausted, but happy. Drenched, but laughing, they chased each other just up to the shore, then dropped onto the meanwhile hot sand, panting from swimming all the time.
"Now... was that a surprise or what?" Mara breathed, throwing the breathing mask back into the bag. Luke followed her example, smiling and nodding. "It was wonderful. You have found us a paradise, Mara." Taking her hand and squeezing it, he added: "Thank you."
Mara smiled, squeezing his hand back. He sighed happily, then closed his eyes, relaxing and letting the sun dry him. Mara, though, didn't close her eyes. She rather relished the sight of him laying sprawled out there, drops of water glittering on his fine-boned shoulders and his back. Following his spine with her eyes, she let her gaze travel over his well-formed backside and equally well-trained legs which had been the part of his body to get back its previous form fastest.
Gods, she loved him so much.
"Luke?"
"Hm?" he huffed, stretching with cat-like graze.
Mara wetted her lips upon seeing his slender form like this. The salty smell of the sea water added to his own was a wonderful experience. Chuckling to herself, she decided to dump him more often into salt water.
"You know what I feel for you, don't you?"
He opened his eyes, smiling at her, then nodded: "Yes."
Mara grinned, happily. Without hesitating anymore, she robbed over to him and planted a kiss on his sun-warmed shoulder, trailing his spine with her finger and fidgeting at his wet shorts. Perhaps she shouldn't have chosen this tight-fitting ones, she mused - complicate to get off if they were wet. She felt Luke tense below her and took it as a shuddering of comfort first. In this moment, she had the feeling everything would be fine again. Everything.
Unfortunately, that was all it was. A moment. In the next second, she felt herself being practically pushed away - not violently, but rather strongly. One moment intertwined with the man she craved so much, she found herself sitting rather dumbfounded on the sand the next one.
Staring up in exasperation, she just caught Luke dragging his trousers frantically over his legs, pale like a ghost.
"Luke...!" she began, opening and closing her mouth, not quite knowing what to say. Mara got up, walking over to him, extending a hand to touch him. He shied away, grabbing his shirt. Pushing a few wet strands out of his forehead, he headed off towards the cave, vanishing into it before she could say another word.
When Mara had grabbed the rest of their things and crawled out onto the beach on the other side of the cliff, she only saw his slender form climbing the cliff path at a dead run.
"Luke!!" she shouted, quickening her pace, too. Either he didn't hear her or he didn't want to. Anyways, he just kept on running until she couldn't see him anymore. Feeling herself shaking with shock and irritation, she became slower, but kept on walking towards the bungalow.
She felt horrified, as if she had seen a terrible truth - but if she had indeed understood what had just happened, it had been on a subconscious level. For her conscious just felt irritation.
And worry - worry for Luke. She felt only panic coming from him. Once again, she fastened her steps. She had to talk to him. Immediately.
To Be Continued
As promised, here's part 3. I hope you'll enjoy it.
Let me know what you think about it.
Rated PG-13!

Sincerely,

~**SIENN**~

Healing - Part 3

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Chandrila, Day 2
-----------------

Panic - it was everything what Luke felt when he stormed into the living room of the bungalow he and Mara inhabited on Chandrila and looked around frantically, not even knowing what exactly he was searching for.

Mara's voice still ringed in his ears, his back and lower back tickled where her fingers had touched it. Why had she done this? Why?
He loved her so much and was willing to do everything for her, just to make her stay with him, but he didn't know anymore what it was she wanted. It had been the reason why he had fled from her, back onto the beach.

Panting from the run that had exhausted him completely, he sunk onto the couch, swung his arms around his knees and closed his eyes, trying desperately to calm his heartbeat and to ease the urge to run as far as he could.
He couldn't run - he couldn't run for all his life. And he didn't want to either. Mara was his wife. He would give his life for her - without hesitation, anytime the need should arise. Luke wanted nothing more than to see her happy and content and before they had come here, he had been so sure about how he could make her feel this way.

But within a few moments - with a simple touch and a simple question - she had managed to throw him into complete irritation. What did she want from him and what not?
He had been unsure and insecure about that, more than ever, when she had snuggled up to him, when he had felt her hot body beside his - had wondered why she did this to him, always showing him what he couldn't have anymore.

But at least he had, in this little moment, still known what HE was supposed to do. He had known how he could pass her test, how he could keep her with him. But only a fraction of a second later, this knowledge had left him.
The only thing he had known was what he WANTED to do - but it was obvious that just this would have driven her away from him again, as it had before.
And Luke wouldn't break his vows - he'd never do this, he had sworn this to himself and he intended to live according to this. He had thought it would be the guarantee to become happy, more or less, again.
But it hadn't worked - not when there was this factor he couldn't rely on. Mara. She behaved completely unforeseeable and he didn't know how to react to it.

It seemed to him like a play - everyone did just play with him. Elan had played with him. First she had been nice and helpful and then she had...
Luke hid his face in his hands, feeling hot tears that mixed up with the cold, salty sea water that was still plastering his hairs onto his head.

It was another panic attack - he knew those, had had to fight against them continuously, without anyone knowing. He doubted even Mara had noticed it - he had hidden it too well from everyone.
And he wouldn't show it now - not now. What would she think of him, if she'd find him like this? She would disgust him even more as she already did.
He gave a bitter, shaky laugh, staring at the empty chimney without really seeing anything. After the show he had given her down at the beach, she couldn't probably care less about anything he did.

No matter what she had wanted from him down there, what she had expected, he hadn't given it to her - he had failed her, once again.
Perhaps he just wasn't able to behave in a way that someone would love him? Perhaps all his trying was completely in vain?

Clasping his hands tightly to stop the trembling, he shook his head. He just didn't know what to do. He was afraid that he had pushed Mara away from him entirely with this latest disaster, that he was going to be alone again.
Yet he was even more frightened of her coming back, of having to face her again and to think about a proper way to be in front of her.

In this moment, he wished desperately for Han to be there, or Leia. - Someone he could ask what to do. But there was no one, absolutely no one.
And upon becoming aware of this, Luke just didn't manage anymore to fight against the emotions that battled for release.

With a low cry, he sunk to the side, curling up into a ball and weeping without caring that he was wet through to his bones.

~**

When Mara stepped onto the bungalow's terrace she slowed down a little bit, breathing deeply and staring through the glass doors into the living room. Her husband was nowhere to be seen and Mara frowned worriedly. She still felt a little shaky after what had just happened at the beach.

Luke's reaction had shocked and terrified her - the fear and irritation she had felt coming from him had seemed so unnatural to her, so curious, so incomprehensible. And yet it was there, almost thick enough to grasp, telling him what to do and how to react. For him, everything had to be logical, but for Mara, it just made no sense. Not at all. She couldn't for the life of her interpret why he behaved like this.

Several possibilities for his behaviour had sprung to Mara's mind while she had followed him at a small distance, wanting to give him some time to cool down, to find his composure again.
She had tried to take the problem from an analytic point of view, contemplating what she knew for sure about Luke's problems.
It hadn't been much before and wasn't much more now. The only thing that was clear now, without any room for doubt, was that he was afraid of her touches. Of her advances towards him.

He couldn't have misinterpreted her touches down at the beach for any sort of torture. On the contrary, Mara was quite sure that he had known exactly what it was she had wanted to do. And this was what had frightened him so much that he had seen no other option than escape. Flight. In total panic.

Mara closed her eyes for a moment, biting her lower lip. The implications of this were almost too much for her to bear. Could it be that Elan had... touched him like this while he was with her - that she had touched him against his will?
Mara felt herself shake with rage at the simple thought of this. If this witch had dared to do that to her husband...
Giving a frustrated sigh, Mara's tensed shoulders relaxed. If she had indeed done this, then Mara could exact not the slightest revenge on her. Elan was dead - for her taste, she had died far too fasst and easy.

The big question was what Mara should do if the Vong priestess had done this sort of thing to Luke. All this looked more and more like a situation Mara couldn't face alone anymore.
Luke's fears were profound and his mind was closed to her in a way that made talking with him to a very dangerous thing. It was easy to startle him, to frighten him, to irritate him.
As long as she hadn't figured out what was going on in his head, she wouldn't make any progress with helping him.

There was a misunderstanding between them, but of which kind she was not sure. If Elan had indeed abused him, then why didn't he tell Mara at least that he didn't want to be touched in any form? Why did he accept her caressing of his cheek if he was afraid of her touching his back, kissing his shoulder? It didn't fit together. Not at all.
That was so frustrating, Mara felt the urge to smash something.

Judging this could wait till later, she took a last breath, then opened the glass doors and stepped into the house, looking around, searching for any sign of her husband.
At first, she couldn't see anything that indicated that he had been here since they had left together for the beach.
Mara already began to worry that he might have not returned here, that he had run to somewhere else, when she heard a low sob from the chimney's direction.

Swallowing, she made her way over to the couch, rounding it. She didn't know what she had expected, but the sight before her let her freeze where she stood, in helplessness, shock and insecurity.
Luke crouched at the far end of the furniture, curled up in a foetal position, trembling and sobbing violently while he kept on shaking his head.

Feeling self-conscious for the first time in a couple of years, Mara stepped closer, let herself sink onto the sofa and hesitantly extended a hand.
"Luke?" she whispered lowly, touching his shoulder hesitantly. He sat straight upright the second her fingers made contact with his unprotected skin that was still damp from their swimming excursion and stared at her, eyes wide open and red-rimmed.

He didn't say a word, just stared at her, his lips trembling. Otherwise, he was rigid and tensed, but Mara wasn't in the mood of admiring his well-muscled chest and the delicateness of his shoulders.

"Luke, I'm sorry." She said, with a voice as strong as she could muster in these circumstances. Luke's eyes widened even more, he frowned, clutching the legs of his trousers.

"You're sorry?" he repeated, his voice raspy and small. And irritated.

Mara nodded, taking his left hand carefully into hers and trying to focus his eyes on her. She felt his fingers tremble in her grasp and tried to send him reassuring thoughts, but he was blocked from her.
Not willingly, of this she was sure. There was no co-ordinated resistance she met, only confusion and irritation that kept her from touching his soul, entering his mind.

This had to work through words only, a fact that let Mara seriously fear she couldn't accomplish this.

"Yes, Luke, I'm sorry. It was my fault." When he didn't jump away from her immediately, she felt considerably encouraged and even dared to extend one of her hands, cupping his cheek and caressing it, feeling the wetness on them.

He still stared at her, his eyes glittering with unshed tears, focussing on her face, unbelieving and startled. "Your fault?" he echoed, his breathing becoming faster.

Mara did notice it, but hadn't any clue as to what it meant, what he thought, what moved his soul at this moment.
Everything she could think of was to reassure him that she didn't blame him for anything.

"My fault." She repeated, smiling at him, hoping that it looked as encouraging and loving as it was intended to be.

~**

'Her fault?!' Luke screamed mentally, feeling completely at a loss. What had she done wrong? He had done everything wrong, hadn't he? Hadn't he?

It was too much to comprehend for him. Everything was so complicated since they had saved him from Elan. Everything was so strange, nothing ever was as Luke expected it to be.
He didn't know how to sort through it and at this moment, he didn't even want to. It hurt too much, it was too exhausting, too frightening.

He stared at his wife, seeing her smile, feeling her hand - her hand and her expectation. She expected him to do something - again. But what?

Luke didn't know what he was supposed to do here and already he felt the cold hand of panic pressing down on him. Suddenly he had the feeling of lacking oxygen, of suffocating. He wanted to cry, to shout, but he couldn't do that with Mara sitting in front of him, expecting him to do something else.

Irritated beyond reason, Luke did the only thing that came to his mind - he recoiled into himself.

~**

Mara saw the change in his eyes immediately. Dreamy and sleepily, he nodded at her last comment, then let himself sink down again and stared at the wall.

For a moment, she sat there, helpless, not knowing what to do now. It was not hard to see that he had fled the scene, had fled the confrontation, if that was what it had been for him, and had withdrawn into his own world.

Feeling that prodding wouldn't bring her anything, she rose, grabbed a blanket from the opposite end of the couch and covered Luke, who hadn't bothered to take a shirt on.
Leaning down and caressing through his still slightly damp hairs, she said lowly: "I'm going to make us something for dinner, ok?" He just nodded, probably hadn't even registered what she had said.

Mara kneeled down, sighing, and took once again one of his hands. He was unresponsive, his eyes blinking slowly open and closed.
"Luke, I don't understand you." She murmured, kissing the tip of his nose and leaning her forehead onto his. He didn't show any reaction, just shifted a little.

Swallowing down a huge lump that had formed in her throat, Mara decided to just ask him now - if it was true, he'd somehow react to it. If not - well, she wasn't sure what he'd do, but anything would be better than this.

"Luke, please, I must know what's wrong with you." She whispered into his ear, waiting for a reaction. If none came, she continued: "I know that you don't want to talk about it, but... " she paused, hesitating to say it aloud, but finally mustering the braveness necessary for it, "if Elan has touched you, if it's because of this that you have run from me down there... you have to tell me if she has done that. You must tell me about it." Hearing her voice break, she added despairing: "Please."

Mara waited for another few minutes, but her husband didn't seem to be willing to break his silence, to leave the place he had sought shelter in.
Defeated, Mara rose and went over to the kitchenette. No matter whether he did talk or not, he had to eat something. The afternoon had been straining for him.

~**

It wasn't until two hours later that Mara entered the living room again. She had tried to assemble all her not too vast knowledge about cooking and recipes and had brought up a real Tatooine meal, which she had figured Luke would like more.
It was nothing spacious, rather modest, but that was what he had grown up onto and she hoped it would be something that'd register with him some sort or other.

When she approached the couch, she noticed worriedly that he hadn't moved an inch. His eyes were closed, his features expressionless and his breathing soft and deep.
She had read about conditions like this, but it had always been in relation to shock patients. Trauma patients.

Perhaps she should just face the truth - Luke was a trauma patient. Everything that had happened since Ithor had eaten its way into his soul, had hurt it and left deep scars. Deep scars that she possibly couldn't heal as easily as she had thought. She had thought her presence and her love would be everything he needed to get back to his old self - but there was more to his problems than met the eye. They were deeper and his thoughts went through curves and turns she couldn't relate to, she didn't comprehend.

He opened his eyes immediately when she said his name and nodded when she told him dinner was ready. Except from this, he didn't do anything else, not even acknowledge her with a single look.
Mara had no choice but to accept it - the last thing she'd do was force Luke into anything. Elan had done that too much.

But throughout the evening, she despaired more and more, seeing herself confronted with a man she couldn't handle anymore.
He moved like a sleepwalker, ate just a few pieces of meat and vegetables, not even dropping a word about whether he liked it or not.

Luke didn't even answer her if she asked him something directly, didn't engage in the discussion she wanted to begin with him. When he had finished his meal, he just sat there staring at the table, his hands in his lap - looking as if he was still asleep.
And probably his mind was. Sleeping deeply to avoid whatever it was that had troubled him.

When she returned from the kitchenette where she stored the dishes into the washer, she only found an empty room and when she finally sat down on her bed, Luke was lying pale and curled into a ball under his covers, faced away from her.

Mara switched the lights off and stared at the ceiling, where the ever-moving waves and the moonlight wove soft, silver patterns.
He was almost catatonic. Whatever she had done, she had pushed him over the edge and she wasn't able to bring him back again.

Choking back tears, she rolled over and closed her eyes. She had to stay in good shape, for Luke's sake. To be there for him whenever he needed her.
But perhaps it was time to share the responsibility - perhaps it was time for her to seek professional help with this. Even if Luke wouldn't want that.

Her heart heavy and sad, Mara willed herself into sleep.

~**

She had no clue how long she had actually slept when a low groan let her eyes snap open. Disoriented from sleep, she stared out of the window which she faced, seeing the moonlight reflected on the railing of the terrace's balcony. The night seemed calm, almost eerily so, and for a moment, she wondered whether her mind had played a trick on her and the sound she had heard had belonged to some sort of dream she had had.

But only a moment later, it repeated itself, louder this time - a moan of agony, of pain. A moan that came from the bad one and half meter beside her. Jumping to her feet, she made her way over to it, trying to recognise something in the near-darkness that enveloped the room.

There was nothing that indicated any moving, not even the shuffling sound of bed covers. Had it only been a small part of a dream that had disturbed Luke's sleep for a second or two?
She already wanted to turn around and go back to bed when another moan escaped her husband, more desperate and sounding more painful than those before.

"Luke?" she queried lowly into the darkness. The only answer was a moan, a moan that was almost a cry already and let a shiver run down Mara's spine.
Drawing on the Force, she flipped the lights on, revealing a scene that let her gasp and rush to her love's sight.

His eyes closed, the most terrified and pained expression graced his face that she had seen since she had confronted him on the Millenium Falcon, after the rescue. His head pressed firmly onto the mattress, his arms and legs were cramped in positions that had to be more than uncomfortable, rigid and stiff and trembling like hell.
After a few seconds, he twitched violently, another moan sounding through the otherwise quiet night.

"Luke? Luke, come on, wake up. Wake up!" she demanded, seizing him by the shoulders and trying to shake him awake.
The only thing she achieved with this was to let him panic. With a cry that made her jump away in surprise, he began to kick and punch around, while his head rested like pinned down on the pillow.

"Luke, you're dreaming! Do you hear me?! You're only dreaming!" she yelled, trying desperately to restrain him in any way, working her way onto his stomach. But as soon as she pressed his arms down onto the bed, he began to toss around, trying to push her off of himself.

"No! No! Please not, no!" He murmured in between moans that had become screams, terrified screams. There was no chance she'd get him out of this nightmare with words.

Bracing herself, she murmured lowly: "Please forgive me, Luke." Then she backhanded him as forcefully as she dared , snapping his head around. She had no idea whether she had managed to bring him back to his senses or whether he still experienced this as if it was part of his dream, but suddenly, he went lax under her, his screams and moans subsiding to low whimpering that cut right into her heart.

He still trembled and his eyes were closed. Mara found herself staring in shock at him, his forehead covered in sweet, his breathing going fast and haggard, his whimpering parting his lips slightly.
He suffered - he suffered as if his dream was reality. A sob escaping her own lips, Mara crawled under his covers and swung her arms around his chest, feeling his heart hammering against his ribs as if he had just run a marathon.

Snuggling up to him, she rested her chin on his left shoulder and began to murmur: "Sh. Everything's ok, Luke. That's not real. Do you hear me? You're dreaming. You're dreaming."

She didn't know for how long she continued this, for how long she just held him, quiet tears running down her cheeks while she listened to his sounds of pain and fear, when he suddenly jolted upright, his eyes settling on her and not recognising her at the first moment.

He shied a few inches away, turning his head frantically around, obviously trying to orient himself. Then, finally, after a few stunned seconds, he locked his gaze on her, noticing her tear-streaked face.

"Why have you cried?" he asked lowly, tilting his head and extending a hand to caress her cheek. She pressed her face into his palm, not knowing what to reply. He sounded curious, as if he still hadn't fully acknowledged what had happened.
Only his paleness and his trembling lips told her that he remembered this dream - that he remembered everything what had been done to him.

"Have I made you cry?" Luke's voice sounded timid, afraid and ashamed and dragged Mara out of her quiet sobs. She hopped to him, laying her hands onto his cheeks, shaking her head.
"No." she croaked, kissing his forehead, not minding the sweet. "No, Luke. No, you haven't made me cry." She assured him, feeling him relax somewhat. He even let her press him at herself for a few moments, then made himself free and recoiled to the head of the bed, never leaving Mara with his eyes.

For quite a time, she just met his gaze, wondering what he was thinking at and finally deciding for herself that this was her last chance to help him alone. The last chance to spare him the humiliation of having to tell all this to someone he didn't know at all. The humiliation of showing someone he didn't know this side of Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master.

"Luke, you must tell me what you've dreamt." She admonished, her voice gentle, but her gaze fierce and demanding.
He still stared at her, an irritated smile creasing his lips. "I don't want you to know this. I don't want anyone to know this." He whispered.

Mara shook her head, crawling over to him and laying an arm around his shoulders. He gazed at her arm, then at her, the smile growing in size and in irritation.

"It's eating you, Luke. You have to talk about it - you can only forget it if you talk about it." She caressed his cheek, turning his head to her - this irritation worried her. It seemed to increase, not diminish. Could it be that he was under shock? Could that really be? From a nightmare?

Luke seemed not to have heard her, his eyes travelling over her face, this baffled smile resting on his lips. He laughed lowly, then settled his head onto her shoulder and crawled closer to her.
Mara suppressed another sob, then began to caress through his hairs, rocking him softly back and forth.

For Mara, it was a small eternity until he finally said something. The casualness and calm with which he uttered the words did nothing to ease the terror she felt upon hearing them.

"I dreamt about how they made that hole."

His wife needed a moment to understand what he meant with this. When it finally clicked, she felt herself gape in horror. When he had dreamt about it, then that must mean that he had actually experienced it!

"Luke.." she began, but was cut off when he continued.

"She told me all the time what she was doing. She told me what the sign meant. How far she was, when she would be through the bone." His voice broke for a moment and she felt as he buried his face in her night-gown, clinging tightly to her.

Mara couldn't do anything else but striking his back, trying to ease the pain, to make the memories vanish.

When he continued, his voice was small and filled with wonderment.
"I couldn't move - I just couldn't. She held my head in her lap and I felt like she... like she'd rip my brain out of my head."

She kissed the crown of his head, offering him silent support, feeling that there was no word that could ease his pain.

"You know, she had this pincer implanted in her finger and she..." he laughed lowly, sounding slightly crazy, but she felt only an eerie calm in his soul.
"She just pushed it into my forehead. Just like that." He rolled over, staring at her, seemingly not believing himself what he told her at this very moment.

She caressed through his face while he continued to tell about what had happened. Everything he could remember, from the very beginning up to the very end, where he had given up the control over his body to hide his soul from the membrane that wanted to erase it.

He even shared with her his memories of the moments when Elan had sneaked up into the laboratory and settled down beside him, telling him about what she'd do with him, why she had chosen him and what his life would be as her familiar.

Shared with his wife the teachings of the tizowyrm - the stupid mantras of being nothing, of living to serve.

After hours - at least it felt like hours to both of them - he finished, staring at her, his face shimmering in the colour of a pearl in the moonlight, silent tears glittering on it. "I'm so sorry, Luke." Mara finally brought out, bringing his hand to her lips and kissing his fingertips.

He smiled, genuinely, and seemed to be more relaxed than ever since she had been reunited with him. "You don't have to be. It was my own stupidity. I should have never trusted Elan."

Mara gave a bitter laugh, her voice trembling: "But you did it for me. You wanted to find a cure for me. Even after I've left you like this." She stared at the ceiling, shaking her head mentally and wondering how she had deserved such a man after what she had done.

Luke was quiet for a long while, then she felt him taking her hand and squeezing it slightly: "I vowed to never do the mistakes that made you leave again. And I won't break this vow, Mara."

Mara's head snapped back down, her eyes narrowing and focussing on her husband. Luke frowned and shifted uneasily, withdrawing his hand.

"What vow?" his wife asked, pushing a few stray hairs behind her ear, her voice suspicious.
Luke just gazed at her, this irritation having crept back into his eyes. He contemplated her features for a moment, then rose and brought some distance between them.

"You don't have to test me like this, Mara." He said gently. "You can be sure that I'll respect your wishes."

Mara frowned now, too, trying to comprehend his line of thinking what wasn't that easy. "What wishes?" she queried, tilting her head and watching his expression change to slight desperation.

"Why can't you just believe me? Why do you always test me? I don't understand that." He murmured, shaking his head.

Mara felt her breath fasten. She was close, she felt it. She was close to this ominous misunderstanding that kept bringing them apart.

"What should I believe you? What?"

Luke's lips began once again to tremble, but he met her stare bravely and said with an even voice: "That I know what you feel towards me and that I accept it."

"Luke, I LOVE you. You knew that before."

Her husband stared at her in shock, jumping to his feet, backing away. "No." he mumbled, stumbling away from her, in the window's direction. "No." he repeated.

Mara stared at him, no less shocked, and rose slowly, feeling once again panic build up inside him.
"Yes, I love you. Whatever made you think I don't? That I went to Dathomir? That I left you on Ithor?"

"No... no!" he exclaimed, backing farther away and meeting resistance. Helplessly pressing himself against the wall, he tried to avoid her gaze.

"Luke, I love you! I never said I don't!" she insisted.

That seemed to enrage him. Nodding frantically, he made a few steps towards her. "You did... you did. You did say that you don't want a child from me!" he nodded again, underlining his statement, his eyes stubbornly staring at her, daring her to challenge his words.
Mara wouldn't have known what to say anyways.

Luke smiled triumphantly: "You see!? You see, I don't break my vow. I'll never break my vow. I'll respect your wishes."

"For Force's sake, what wishes?!" she cried out, clutching his wrists that hard that he twitched in surprise.

"I have accepted that you don't want me." He finally stated, carefully freeing his wrist and retreating towards his bed, sitting down and then looking up at her.

It took Mara a few seconds to grasp the meaning of those words - the full meaning of those words.
Finally, all what had caused her so many headaches seemed awfully clear to her. Her teasing when she had found him sleeping here hadn't been teasing for him. He had taken it serious, had taken it as a prove, a reminder, that she didn't want him near her. That she just was here, perhaps, for helping him until he was better.

His fear of contradicting her, his shyness when she touched him - his irritation upon every loving gesture towards him.

For him, she must have behaved totally contradictory all this time. No wonder that he had been that nervous, that insecure. He had been sure that she didn't want him around and she had at times acted as if this would be true - thinking he'd need the time alone. He had taken it as refusal of himself.

"I can understand you, you know." He said suddenly, into the eerie silence.

"What?" she breathed, her voice low and feeble in face of the depth of this misunderstanding.

"Well,.." he once again sought her gaze, smiling this shy smile, "it was dumb from me to think that you'd like to have a child with me. That I could make you happy. I'm always thinking dumb things, you know." He paused and with his next words, tears came and ran freely once again.

"It's just... it's just that I wish it so much."

Mara opened her mouth, trying to find a word to say, but her brain let her down. Instead, she went over to him, set down beside him, and kissed his tears away. One by one, tenderly and softly.
"Mara... you don't have to do..." "Sh..." she murmured, closing his mouth with her own. He was far too surprised to react on that in any way. But he didn't flee either.

She leant her forehead at his, caressing his neck and looking squarely into his eyes. "Luke, you are totally wrong. I love you - more than anything. And I'm sorry for what I said. It was not serious - I was angry, I did want to go and wanted it to be easier for you. Please. It was not serious. You're my everything. I love you."

"But... but..." her husband stammered, another world shattering before his eyes. Luke would do everything to make this be true, to believe this, but the doubt was still there. Back in his head, making him insecure, making him bite his lower lip and shaking his head no softly. "That can't be."

"Believe me, Luke. I'd never lie to you - not anymore. I love you." Uttering these words, Mara prodded at his soul, demanding entrance and finally, when he granted it, let all her feelings, her regret, her love pour into him.

Luke's eyes widened, but this time not in an irritated, frightened way. He was surprised, delighted almost, opened his mouth to say something, but didn't get a chance. Mara crushed his mouth with his and for the first time in months, they shared a real kiss - deep, tender and passionate. That they both cried was something they didn't even fully register. They sank back onto the bed, clinging to each other.

It was Luke who finally ended the kiss, smiling broadly, happily and whispered: "Don't ever leave me again."
Mara just shook her head, then shifted a little to make him comfortable when he settled his head onto her chest and closed his eyes.

Entangled, pressed together, their hearts beating in unison, they lay there for a long time. Mara just enjoyed feeling how his soul relaxed along with his body, when his breathing became slower and he finally fell into an exhausted, deep slumber.
Only when she was sure he was asleep, she closed her eyes and followed him in seconds, having the feeling that now everything would become good again.

Though there was still a long way to go - he was still self-conscious. She had felt that when he had ended the kiss, had felt his short fear at her possibly demanding more. His self-respect had suffered a great deal and it would be a challenge for her to rebuild it again. A challenge she would happily take, though. It could only become better.

To Be Continued
Finally here it is, part 4 of Healing. I hope you'll like it. It's a little shorter than the previous three chapters, but I guess there is enough really important stuff in there :D

Rated NC-17 for... ah well, I don't know, I'm not sure whether it's NC-17. Perhaps I should write "implied" NC-17... just judge for yourself ;D

Please read and give me feedback!

Sincerely,

~**SIENN**~

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Healing - Part 4
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Chandrila, Day 3
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It was an exceptional beautiful morning - the sky was clear, without only the smallest cloud, the sea was soft, the wind a warm caress on her face. All was so quiet, so peaceful - not even the shrieks of the sea birds could spoil the feeling of complete serenity.

It was as if the planet would mirror exactly Mara Jade-Skywalker's state of mind. She had woken early, opening her eyes to a bedroom bathed in the soft light of dawn. It had taken a few seconds till the memories of the past night had come back to her. At first she hadn't know whether to be happy or sad about everything that had transpired between her and her husband. It was a difficult question to answer - this question how she felt now.

Though she knew she had to think thoroughly through all of it, to comprehend it and file it away as done, Mara just refused to think at anything at all for quite a while. She was content to just lay there, on her back, her husband snuggled up to her, still sleeping deeply. The feeling of his closeness seemed so wonderful to her - she had known that she had missed him sorely through all this time, but only now, as she could feel his chest rising and falling in regular intervals Mara became aware how much of herself she had really lacked during this troubling time of her marriage.

Luke was a part of herself and it wasn't until now, that he lay in her arms, trusting in her completely again, with his soul AND body, that she felt complete.
For a couple of hours, she had just stopped thinking at all, relaxing totally, caressing through Luke's hair, noting their unusual roughness. Sea water did that to hair, as she well knew, but it didn't matter to her. She extended her tender gestures to his bare neck, regretting the fact that he still had his sleeping shirt and pants on.

And, indeliberately, this simple fact brought her back to the somewhat not appreciated reality. Before Ithor, before the Yuuzhan Vong, Luke had never slept in that much. Being raised on a desert planet, the carefully climatized bedrooms in most buildings tended to be just too warm for him. Not that she had ever complained.

At first, she had thought the long time in space, on starships, where it was cold - especially on Yuuzhan Vong ones - had resulted in him being a little more sensitive to this.
Now, that he had finally talked to her, had revealed all that had been circling in his head since this damned day she had decided to walk out on him the way she had, Mara could see it as what it was.

A gesture of self-confidence - to hide his body from her. Though everything had been cleared now, it was still difficult for her to grasp how they had gotten to this point in the first place. Dimly, she wondered whether she knew Luke that bad that she had completely misjudged his reaction to her words before she'd left for Dathomir.
She had wanted to make him angry at her, so that he would be able to let her go easier. For his sake. But the effect she had achieved had been quite the opposite. Instead of being angry at her, Luke had directed all his anger, his disappointment towards himself.
It was hard for her to understand, yet it seemed completely logical that Luke of all people would do something like this. He was so fast with blaming himself for everything.

She should have foreseen this - she should have foreseen that he would look for reasons. The simple statement that she didn't want a child from him had perhaps infuriated him at the very first moment, but, being Luke, he had immediately began to examine WHY she didn't want a child from him.

And that was exactly what Mara should have anticipated. She had claimed for herself to know Luke better than anyone. Even better than Leia or Han, if it came to certain matters. But yet, she had failed to see what exactly she did to him by uttering these words.
Until yesterday night, she hadn't even had the smallest clue that Luke blamed himself - his physical appearance as well as his being.

Han, she though. Han had known - and had almost told her. She was sure it had been exactly this topic he had been about to spill out on the Falcon, while they were on their way to rescue Luke. If they had had more time then, she would have wormed it out of him. She would have know how badly Luke's soul had been damaged, would have known how to deal with him. Would have known that an approach in a way like she'd done down on the beach would do nothing but scare him and irritate him.

Carefully, so as to not disturb him, she shifted a little bit, taking his right arm with which he encircled her waist and lifting it gently. Fluidly, she wiggled out of his embrace, laying his arm back onto the mattress, smiling when he didn't react in any way. His breathing pattern wasn't interrupted for a single heart beat.

Watching him silently, she settled back against the wall. How could he ever have thought she didn't want him? That she found him ugly? This thought had never occurred to herself. Even when she had first met him, all these years ago, this was an adjective she'd never related with him. How could she have allowed him to become that ill, mentally? And he was ill. If Mara had had any doubts as to that, they had been vanquished yesterday night.

Though now, she would be able to REALLY help him. For now, she finally knew what was wrong, hadn't to indulge in guesses that only served to infuriate her. She was eternally grateful that her initial suspicion, that Elan had dared to touch him without his consent, that she had forced him to let her touch him, hadn't been true.

During her days with the Empire and even more so with Talon Karrde, she had seen what this sort of slavery could do to people. It would have destroyed Luke. And if it had destroyed him, it would have destroyed her, too. For she really couldn't picture a life without him.

The lonely days on the Jade Sabre and on Dathomir had been long and painful for her. She had missed him so much - and her conscience had nagged at her. Mara frowned. Rell had felt it. Rell had felt Luke's breakdown, had felt his distress, his hurt, the hate he directed at himself. An old woman that had met Luke only once, and that decades ago, had felt it. His wife, that claimed to be the second half of his soul, had not.

A woman he had last seen seventeen years ago had come to his aid - even if not entirely selfless motivated, she had still offered him help. Something Mara hadn't done. It was frustrating and almost ironic. She was to blame for most of it and Luke would have every right to do just that. But what did he do? What did her beloved farmboy do? Twisted everything around until he found a way to direct all the guilt straight at himself, tearing himself apart in the process.

Fortunately, now she was there to glue him back together. And now that she knew what it was he feared and, most of all, WHY he feared it, there wouldn't be any misunderstandings. Their would be no contradictorily behaviour from her part, nothing that would startle him and make him insecure. Nothing that would imply to him that she didn't want him around - physically and mentally.

The only difficult thing with the "cure" she plotted so eagerly was the timing. And that was exactly what was so crucial here. As much as she wanted to just take him into her arms and take his breath away with her kisses, she knew that exactly that would be too much for him.

Oh yes, he knew now that she loved him - in his head. But his soul - his soul was still wounded and the doubt was still there. She only hoped it had already considerably diminished. At least that much that he would accept to sleep in one bed with her again - and this permanently.

It was strange how everything unfolded if she took a look at it now. Especially this bed matter. Mara shivered when she recognised how completely reasonable everything had been from Luke's point of view. He had lay down in the bed, she had "told" him she didn't appreciate it and he had separated it. "Relieving" her from his physical closeness.

She swallowed hard when she thought how profound the damage to his own self must have been after this breakdown, after this war, that his self-esteem could fall so deep. A small sigh escaped her, breaking the peaceful silence and obviously being enough to wake Luke from his slumber.

She saw him blink, slowly drifting awake and stretching a little bit. She plopped down beside him, kissing his temple softly and whispering: "Good morning, my love." He smiled at her - the most radiant smile she had seen in months. "'Mornin" he managed to answer, his voice muffled by the pillow in which his face was still half buried.

Mara rested her head on his shoulder, inhaling his scent - it was astonishing how much those little things could make one happy if one had missed them for that long a time. "Slept well?" she queried.

"Hmmm." At this rather humble reply, she chuckled lowly. "Wanna stay in bed for a while longer?" twirling a lock of his hair around her finger, she watched closely as he frowned a little, then pried his eyes open and shook his head. "Nope. I'm a.."

"Morning person, I know." She grinned, propping herself up on one elbow, bringing her face close to his. He grinned bashfully, his gaze never leaving her eyes. And hers never leaving his lips which seemed very much like homing beacons to her, calling "Kiss me."
Even while she contemplated this option, he wrinkled his nose, breaking the eye contact and looking around.

"Smells salty here." That got Mara to laugh. "Well, a swim in the sea tends to have this effect at times. Because of this, one usually showers after it." Not that I mind this smell on you, she added silently. No good to jump him with compliments first thing in the morning.

Luke frowned, recalling exactly why he hadn't showered after this particular swim. Sighing lowly, he murmured: "I'm sorry, Mara, yesterday.... I..."
Rolling her eyes, Mara grasped his chin and brought him to look straight at her again. "Don't apologise. You didn't do anything wrong." Luke just stared at her unbelievingly, finally saying: "I made you angry."

Mara shook her head in annoyance and denial: "No, Luke, you didn't make me angry."

"But.."

Leaning her forehead against his, staring directly into his wonderful eyes, she interrupted him: "Luke, believe me, you didn't make me angry. You scared me - I was afraid." She softly caressed his cheek, probing whether it was a gesture too intimate for him.

He accepted it and she was happy, though she saw in his eyes that he didn't understand her completely.
"I was afraid that something else had happened while you were.." she hesitated a moment, wondering whether she would mind hearing the dreaded names.

"While I was Elan's familiar." He finished, a low smile playing around his mouth. Giving a gentle nudge in the Force, he assured her: "It's ok. This talk we had..." He let himself fall back onto the mattress, staring at the ceiling, absent-mindedly grasping her hand.

"It was good. I never thought it would feel this good to talk about it with someone. It's as if.. as if I am free now. Really free, you know?" He stared at her, looking for understanding in her eyes.

She smiled: "I know." He smiled back, closing his eyes, breathing deeply. It was so comforting to know that someone understood.
Mara lay her head onto his chest, kissing it through the fabric of his shirt, hoping that it was nothing too daring for him at the moment. He seemed not to mind, though Mara found out that was straining her own self-control quite much. His scent, his closeness, the muscles she felt shifting underneath, the rise of his chest - ah, it was torture to know that she had to take it slow. But a very sweet form of torture, she mused.

"Mara?"

"Uh..yes?" she lifted her head, for a moment fearing she had startled him again, but everything she saw in his eyes was curiosity. Now, that didn't fit the situation.

"What were you afraid could have happened while I was on the Moota?"

Mara was surprised for a moment that he knew the name of Kwaad's ship, but then, there was no way of knowing what the tizowyrm had taught him exactly. Probably all possible little things how he could accommodate Elan's wishes.
Then the realisation hit her that he hadn't registered her questions at all, in the past afternoon. A frightening thought to think the he had really shut down then. Everything. If he hadn't had this nightmare, perhaps he wouldn't have come out of this state at all.

Feeling Luke's impatience rise, she focused her thoughts again on him. "I.. after how you behaved on the beach.. I was afraid that she had.. exploited the situation, you know." She finally brought out, finding it really difficult to voice her fears into his unassuming face.

To her utter horror, the way his eyes widened shortly and he broke away from her gaze told her that SOMETHING was right about what she had assumed.
Fear gripping her heart, she sat up straight, staring down on him. "Luke! Is there something you haven't told me yet?"

He bit his lower lip, staring out of the window. Mara rolled on her back, placing herself between him and the window, looking him straight into the eyes. Eyes that held shame.
'Oh no.' she thought. 'Please... please not Luke. If she has done this to him...'

Aloud she said: "You can tell me everything, Luke, you know that. Everything."

For a while, he just replied her stare, then he said lowly: "She hasn't done what you're thinking about."

Mara relaxed, releasing a breath she didn't know she had held.

"But has implied that it would be... my duty, if she wished so." He added, never leaving her face. She had the feeling he was searching for some negative reaction from her - disgust or something. Mara just extended her hand and stroke his cheek.

Luke smiled, then continued, his voice more firm. "I can't recall when. I was sleeping - she ordered me to sleep and I did. But she came into the room I was in. She sat down and took my hand and began to tell me what life would be for me and for her. Somehow on the way, she must have mentioned it. It's all... sort of cloudy when I try to remember." He added in a tiny voice, closing his eyes again and relaxing visibly.

"It's all over. This will never happen." Mara assured lowly. He nodded, exhaling a little shakily, but then opening his eyes again and smiling.

"Thank you."

Mara stared at him surprised. "For what?"

Luke sat up, dragging her with him, then completely baffling her by brushing his lips over hers, giving her a soft kiss. "For listening."

She gazed mesmerised into his azure, gorgeous eyes, still rather dumbfounded. She hadn't expected HIM to be the active part in kissing anytime soon. Before she could say a word, though, he turned and rose from the bed.

"I'm in need of a shower." He explained apologetically as he caught up on her regret over the Force bond. She smiled her beautiful smile for him, then equally rose. "I'm going to get some breakfast together."

He nodded, then turned and vanished into the bathroom. While he undressed and adjusted the water temperature in the shower, he couldn't help but feel utterly relieved and happy. Mara knew everything now. And she still loved him.

She loved him! It was so wonderful - like a dream had come true. A dream he had thought would stay just this forever. Something he could never achieve.

He had been wrong and for once it felt so incredibly good to be wrong. Laughing quietly to himself, he leant against the wall of the showering cabin and relished the feel of the warm water.

**~

Mara hummed quietly to herself, chewing on a little ksava-fruit, when Luke stepped onto the terrace, casting a glance over the wide silver sea.
His attention focused on this, Mara had all the time she needed to assess and admire his choice of clothing. Black, yeah, but not flowing, but close cut and form-fitting. Rather nice, she thought, smirking mentally.

"Hungry?" she asked, gesturing towards the bread, fruits and various marmalades onto the table. Luke surveyed the breakfast, then smiled and sat down opposite of her. "Indeed."

Before Mara could stop herself, she blurted out: "Really?"

Luke stared at her baffled, bewilderment obviously in his eyes: "What?" he asked.

Mara blushed slightly: "Well, it's just... you haven't eaten exactly much - nor really regular for quite a time. I guess I was just surprised."

That seemed to push Luke into a fit of thoughtfulness and for a few minutes, they ate on in silence. She was happy to see that his appetite was back to normal again. That was good, really good. It was amazing how fast something like this could change.

"I... I didn't know whether I wanted to live without you, you know. Everything became sort of.... unimportant."

She stared at him for a moment, having been taken off-guard by this. At the same time, she was touched deeply, felt moisture work its way into her eyes. She took his left hand into hers, caressing it with her thumb, smiling at him tentatively. What should she reply to this one? What should she reply if he told her that he couldn't live without her?

"Han and Leia were worried about me. I knew that. Leia..." he paused, squeezing her hand softly, still not daring to lift his head and look into her eyes. "Leia feared I'd do something stupid - hurt myself."

After a few seconds of silence, he finally met her gaze, the most sincere expression in his big, blue eyes she had ever seen. "The thought came to my mind more than once, Mara. I couldn't bear the thought to have lost you - just like this. Just because of.. me."

Again, Mara didn't know what to reply, what to answer to this. But sometimes, gestures are everything that is needed. In the next moment, she threw herself into his arms, onto his lap and kissed him with all her passion and love. She felt how her own tears mixed up with his ones and only pressed his lips harder against hers, parting them with her tongue.

Relief flooded her when he pressed her closer to himself and responded to her kiss, his tongue circling her, nipping at her lips. Mara felt a twinge of anger when he finally broke the kiss, but it subsided as soon as she saw his glittering eyes, the love in them. The love and the hope.

She stroke his lips with her index finger, suppressing a little sob. "I'm sorry. I didn't want that. I really didn't want that."

"You know, Mara..." he laughed lowly, kissing her finger, then burying his face at her shoulder. "You belong to me - I love you. You're the other half of my soul. You mustn't ever leave me like that again. Promise me that."

She hid her last tears in the mop of his hair, smelling the last traces of his shampoo - and most of all, smelling him. It was the most wonderful thing she had ever smelt.

"I swear". She whispered. For long minutes, they just sat there, Luke holding her securely in his lap, as if he would never want her to go away again and Mara listened as his sobs and her own slowly died down. And with it all the anxiousness that was still left in both of them.

"You know what?" Luke finally murmured into her ear, his breath hot on her skin. "Hmm?" she huffed, still using his head as pillow.

"I'm still hungry."

Mara abandoned her nesting spot, perching an eyebrow and searching his delicate, beautiful features for a sign that he thought the same as she did. "Hungry for what?" she asked, sliding her finger seductively down his throat.

He brushed his lips over her chin, his hands grasping her hips - gently lifting her and lowering her onto the floor. "For breakfast. A slow breakfast."

Mara smiled, nodding. "Okay - then we take it slow."

**~

A few hours later, sitting in a really expensive restaurant in Hanna City, the capitol of Chandrila, Mara wondered how she'd manage to really take it slow. For the first time in a lifespan as it seemed, she had nothing to worry about. No illness, no war, no nothing.

It gave her the opportunity to really concentrate on the moment, to note everything and everyone, to enjoy what was there.

And it was beautiful here. They had been given a really secluded both, framed with greenery and although they really weren't alone in the restaurant, the other guests were nothing but a slight murmur that was tuned out by the steady rhythm of the ever present sea.

The atmosphere was already enough to get Mara's admiration, but what got her totally engrossed was her husband in front of her.
She had insisted that he should choose something really expensive to dress on, the most formal clothing he could find in his drawer, because she wanted to take him out into a really nice place, as she had put it.

And Luke had complied - that had peaked her suspicion, because he really hated formal clothing. It seemed to be a common disease with men - her beloved Jedi Master was no exception to that.

But the had done it because he had known that it was important for her and that she wanted this to be special. And it had been. They had gone shopping in Hanna City for the most part of the afternoon, buying a few presents for the kids and their family on Coruscant. Then they had just walked along the beach promenade, enjoying each other's company and the terrific weather.

They had bantered and joked in a manner that resembled more and more their way of dealing with each other before Ithor and Luke had even laid his arm around her shoulders.

And now they were sitting here and the soft light of the lamps created a really romantic setting.
Luke's eyes sparkled with a joy and relaxation she had thought him to have lost over all these terrible incidents and already the few hours spent walking in the sun had given his skin a little colour back.

The dark blue, close-cut robe he had chosen, flattered his figure and underlined the stunning colour of his eyes. All in all, he looked perfect and Mara had to stop herself from blurting this out at more than one occasion.

She had gotten the hint - a slow approach. As much love existed between them, their relationship was not back to normal. Luke was not back to normal, though one could say he had reached 50% in an amazing time.

She would give him all the time he needed. He would show her when he was back to his old self, when they could really take their love to the level it had had before Ithor.

Smiling, quite happy for the moment, Mara sipped at her wine and enjoyed the discussion with her husband about just normal things. Life could be wonderful and simple at times.

Now all she needed was a little patience.

----------------
To Be Continued
Finally the next part of "Healing". I'm so sorry it has taken me so long, but there was a lot going on in my corner of Germany, so I hope you do understand.

And that you like my new chapter of course. Please read and review. I have no idea about the rating. There is at least implied NC-17... could anyone tell me how he or she'd rate this fic???
I'm at a loss *shrugs*

Enjoy!

Sincerely,

~**SIENN**~

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Healing - Part 5
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Chandrila, Day 3, Evening
--------------------------------

Luke Skywalker did enjoy himself immensely and that alone was already a reason for wonderment for him. It seemed to have been an eternity ago that he had really felt free, happy - ready to see the beauty of what was around him. Ready to let go of every terrible memory - of pictures he couldn't forget, of fears that had driven him crazy. Even now, he hadn't completely understood what had changed.

"What are you thinking about?" the soft, low voice invaded his thoughts and when he felt a delicate hand settle on his own, he concentrated on the woman that sat across from him at the table. To him, Mara was the incorporation of beauty. For this evening, she had donned a long, velvety gown whose rich, green colour played well with the fiery red of her hair. She had let it hang openly over her back and it reached almost down to her behind - he had never noticed how long it had become in the last time.

Luke just smiled at her, intertwining his hand with hers and openly meeting her probing stare. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly while she regarded him dubiously. "You DO like it here, don't you?" she finally asked. "I mean, I know you're not too much for all this elegant stuff, but I thought it would be a nice..."

She fell silent when Luke lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it softly: "Don't worry, Mara. It's wonderful here." She relaxed visible and shortly brushed her fingers over his cheek before withdrawing her hand. "Good."

"And the food tastes good." He added, turning his attention once again towards the grilled Traladon rips in wine sauce that he had ordered. Mara laughed at that, causing Luke to give her a mock-hurt look. "What's so funny about that?"

"If the food tastes good, you'd even take your dinner in the garbage can of the Mos Eisley Cantina, wouldn't you?

Luke grinned bashfully, then looked around, still chewing, gesturing at the small group of musicians a couple of meters across the room which they just could glimpse through the plants that surrounded their booth. "It's just that I've never really been in a place like this, Mara. Diplomatic dinners, yes, but that's something else. THIS is... well..." he paused, searching for the right word, but finding none. Mara's voice became gentler: "Normal?" she suggested.

His face lit up: "Yes." Content that she understood what he wanted to say, he continued to eat, his appetite obviously fully restored. Mara, who had ordered something with not quite as much meat, found herself mesmerised by her husband.
It was wonderful for her to see him this relaxed, this content - this open towards the world and towards her. She hadn't really dared to hope that he would be back at this state so soon after they and cleared up everything that had stood between them.

Still, it somehow saddened her that Luke was not accustomed to things like this - an evening out, a dinner between two people who loved each other. His life hadn't been normal.
Mara's hadn't been either, but still, during her undercover missions for the Emperor, or when he had given her leave in between missions, she had come to live, even if only for a short, limited time, as a normal being did.
Luke had never had the possibility to do this. In his childhood and youth, there had been not much room for fun. The occasional race, as he had told her, but not much more. He had had to work hard to help his uncle ensure to survival of the family.

And then he stumbled into the Rebellion and since then, there had never been real peace for him. Of course, she mused, there had been months, even years, in which no war endangered the New Republic. But most of the time, those were occupied by the creation of the Jedi Order or tainted by personal losses and problems he had to deal with.
Even the six years of their marriage had held their shore of things that had to be done and except for the three weeks of honeymoon they had had immediately after their wedding, there had been no time to do something that trivial as going out for dinner as a couple.

But now they had all the time in the world and Mara was determined to make the whole time, no matter how long it'd be finally, a special time for Luke. She wanted to show him normal life. A life she hadn't lived herself for longer than perhaps a year, if she took every undercover mission together, but still longer than her husband.

And this evening was the beginning of it. Yesterday night and this morning, he had poured his soul out in front of her, had cried and talked about everything that had gotten him down into one of the worst traumas she'd ever encountered in a human being. And now he was like new-born - at least it seemed to her like he was. Content with this, Mara began to eat herself.

~**

Some half an hour later, Luke was quietly listening to the hand-made music, relishing a chocolate dessert unlike anything he had ever tasted. He was still somewhat mystified that he had eaten that much. For a long, long time, he had just lacked the appetite to eat much more than a peace of bred or a ration bar. There were probably a couple of reasons for this change of behaviour, but Luke simply wasn't in the mood to ponder his problems and their consequences for his life.

At the moment, he felt like he had no problems at all, anyways. Mara loved him. This sentence appeared again and again in his thoughts and it made him want to shout it out loud, so that everyone on the planet could hear him, could hear that it was indeed true.
Yesterday he had been sure that it was impossible, had been sure that she could never love him. As every woman had never been able to love him, because he just wasn't worth it.

He still wasn't sure why exactly Mara loved him, why anyone would, but the fact that she did was everything he needed to know to be happy for the moment. The evening so far had been wonderful, like a dream to him.
The restaurant itself had an atmosphere unlike anything he'd ever encountered. Diplomatic dinners used to have no atmosphere at all or one totally reigned by boredom. But this little establishment was wonderful.

Situated directly at the sea, one had a stunning view over the moon-lit waves, the tables were separated from each other by a couple of wood trellis that were almost hidden by all possible plants. The musicians, which were all human, were excellent and the dim lights created a cosiness that would surely made him sleepy in a couple of hours.

All in all, Luke felt wonderful. As soon as Mara would return from the fresher, he'd feel even more wonderful, close to perfect, he mused smiling.
Settling a little deeper into the comfy chair, he focused on the music and the dancing couples that moved to it on the small dance floor the restaurant included.

~**

To her utter surprise, Mara found herself humming lowly while she made her way from the fresher back to the dining room. It had been quite some time since she'd been in the right mood to do that. She loved music, had ever done, but her life had always held too less occasions where she could indulge in it and enjoy it without having sorrows spoiling her mood.

The band the restaurant had hired was state-of-the art, as she had to note. They were quite good at their job and their music seemed to be made just for this evening, for this atmosphere. Mara felt the urge to dance, but this was not the place to do something like that. Really not at all the right place. And, what counted even more, she wasn't here to do just what SHE wanted. The main purpose still was to let Luke be happy and content for as long as possible. Forever, if she could manage, she though with utter conviction.

Straightening her gown and making sure her hair was all right, she rounded the last corner to enter the main dining room again, but stopped short almost immediately, leaning with a broad smile at the wall. From where she stood, she had a wonderful view at the table Luke sat at and she felt her heart almost spill over with emotions when she studied his sight. Obviously, she wasn't the only one who was taken in by the music they band presented.

Luke, for one, seemed to be captivated by the soft sounds, his eyes never leaving the artists and a content smile creasing his lips. Mara would have been quite content to just stay where she was and watch him, drink in his beautiful features that weren't spoiled by any frown now, not wrinkled in irritation. His big, azure eyes that weren't averted in embarrassment or shyness, his lean form that for once didn't look as if he was tensed and all too ready to run away.

She smirked when she thought at how he used to compliment her, to tell her how beautiful she was. How could she have allowed him to forget how handsome she thought HIM to be? Mara had never imagined that he would interpret her words on Ithor like this.

Determined to not let those problems ruin this peaceful evening, she slowly went over to the table. There was still a tasty dessert waiting for her - though, when she noticed Luke swinging his foot gently in the rhythm of the music, another idea sprang to her mind.

She gently laid a hand onto his shoulder, relieved when she didn't felt any twitch - he had sensed her, hadn't been that deeply immersed in confusing thoughts that he had just overseen her and would be startled now. He was healing - REALLY healing. "Care to join themm?" she asked lowly, nodding towards the dance floor.

Luke almost choked on the last of his dessert, staring at her with wide eyes. Mara had to call on all her self-control to keep herself from laughing at him. Right at this moment, the mighty Jedi Master and hero of the Rebellion looked like a little, helpless boy. "You mean dancing?" he stammered.

Mara gave him a mocking glance: "Well, I certainly didn't mean that we should take over for the musicians, flyboy. Come on." She took his hand and dragged him determinedly in the direction of the dance floor.

"Mara... Mara, wait!" he complained hissing, doing his best to keep up with her without stumbling like a complete idiot. She stopped, turning around and looked at him, clearly amused. "Why? Don't you like the music?"

Luke fidgeted nervously, looking around and relaxing just a little bit when he noticed that no one paid attention to the both of them. "The music is wonderful, Mara. It's just that..." "What?" she crossed her arms before her chest. Luke sighed, scratching his head in obvious discomfort. "Mara, I can't dance."

She frowned, mustering him suspiciously. "Of course you can. We have done this often enough at receptions and diplomatic dinners." Luke just shook his head, biting his lower lip, avoiding her eyes.
Suddenly, form one second to the other, his insecurity was back. Mara sighed silently, then took both his hands. He looked at her, obviously uncertain about her reaction. Looking around, she pushed him behind one of the plant-covered trellis and out onto the small balcony the restaurant sported. If they'd begin a discussion like this out in the open, someone would certainly get too curious. Out here, though, no one would notice them or overhear anything

She felt his irritation grow, the worry that he had angered her, spoiled the evening or something. Mara gently squeezed his hands in answer to that. "Luke, " she began with a soft, low voice, "what are you afraid of?" "I don't know." He answered, sounding totally lost.
"But you DO know that this is not reasonable - being afraid without knowing of what?" she gently rebuked.

Luke sighed, made himself free of her and turned towards the sea, leaning onto the railing. "I'm sorry." He murmured.

Mara shook her head, wondering how she would ever make him see what he was for her, what he meant for her. It seemed as if he couldn't really believe her words. Not fully, at least.
She stroke his back tenderly, getting him to turn his head towards her. "You don't have to be sorry, Luke. If you don't want to dance, that's fine." She tried to sound reassuring, but obviously wasn't very convincing.

He pressed his lips together, closing his eyes for a moment, then mumbled: "They'd all look at me." "What?" He turned fully towards her, repeating: "They'd all look at me. That's what I thought." His voice trembled slightly when he finally found the braveness to meet her eyes: "I don't want them all to look at me."

"Force, why?" Mara breathed, the confession hitting her unexpectedly. She had never even considered that his insecurity extended to all parts of his life. She had been able to understand the way he had been towards her because of the things he had misunderstood.
But why would he fear the attention of others, why would he fear the contact with others? This had nothing to do with what had happened between the two of them.

Luke shook his head, obviously not at all able to explain himself. "At least try." She admonished tenderly, trying to send him encouraging thoughts.
He just kept shaking his head: "I don't know why. The thought was just there. 'You don't want them all to look at you. It's not good. It's not right.'" He let himself sink to the floor, leaning against the railing and staring at her with sad eyes. "I don't know what this is all about, Mara. I... don't understand myself."

She looked down on him, trying to think about this all rationally. He obviously wasn't able to. Mara felt her husband's despair, felt his disappointment that he had ruined a wonderful time for her and for himself, felt how he mentally, quietly, berated himself for the whole mess.

Only after a couple of minutes, she got a certain idea - an idea she didn't really like, for it indicated that Luke would have been condemned to a life much more terrible than she had ever thought if she hadn't succeeded in locating him and getting him back.
Once again, she made sure no one intended to spend a couple of minutes on the balcony, then joined Luke on the floor, taking his hand.

"Luke, would you tell me something? I know it will hurt you and I'm sorry, but I think this is important." He studied her features curiously, only slightly worried, the nodded. "I trust you." He assured lowly.
Mara smiled, then cleared her throat: "You told me part of what Elan rambled about when she... visited you. I would like to hear the other part."

She could see how her love paled in the soft light of Chandrila's moon, but his voice was steady when he answered: "I can't remember more, Mara. What I told you was everything I can recall."
The ex-Emperor's hand frowned: "I think you're mistaken, Luke. Perhaps you remember unconsciously."

He shook his head, but she could nonetheless feel him turning his attention into himself, searching, trying. She wondered dimly whether she had drawn the wrong conclusions, but there was no other logical reason for Luke's uncharacteristic fear of other people. At least not now that the problem between the two of them was taken care of.
At the other hand, Luke didn't seem to find any clue as to why he had these fears, so perhaps she was wrong after all. Mara already wanted to tell him he could stop when his eyes flew open and he stared at her.

"What?" she asked, alarmed.

To her utter relief, he seemed to be far more surprised and baffled than scared. "I didn't remember that." He just said.

"Didn't remember what?" His wife queried impatiently.

"This part of the custom about familiars." When she perched an exasperated, elegant eyebrow, he hurried to explain. "When Elan came to me, the tizowyrm was about to explain some custom in relation to familiars. I didn't understand it very well - there were some words I didn't know yet."

He paused, trying to convert these fractions of memories into something Mara could understand. His wife rested silent, waiting for him to continue. "I asked Elan about it when I noticed that she was there." She felt him shiver slightly.

"I though you were asleep." Mara asked surprised. Her husband shook his head. "Only really asleep when the tizowyrm wasn't active. During the lessons... it was like a trance. Anyways, she told me that familiars weren't supposed to be public beings."

"But I thought it would be sort of bragging if she'd have had you as her familiar..." she trailed off, not sure how much she had really understood about the whole thing and not sure how much she really WANTED to understand.

Luke had closed his eyes again, visibly moved by all this, but continued: "No.. it is... it's all very complicated. Watch!"

Suddenly, without much preamble, Mara found herself in a huge hall made of yorik coral. All around her, female and male Yuuzhan Vong were gathered, dressed like Elan had been, as thin as she, most of them as exotically beautiful as she. For a moment, she was startled, then she understood that this was only a vision. "What..?" she queried mentally.

"You'll see what I've been shown by the tizowyrm." Luke's disembodied voice sounded through her head. Mara felt unease settle in her stomach, but she could hardly refuse. And she also didn't really want to. "Watch!" her husband repeated.

Mentally, in the vision, Mara turned around and could feel herself gape at the sight. Elan entered the chamber, followed by a being Mara only recognised belatedly as Luke. In the vision, he was clad in a robe of this strange Yuuzhan Vong materiel - it was from a dark green and covered everything but his hands and his face. The fact that made it so difficult to recognise him was the way his face and his hands were painted.
Strange patterns, delicate and beautiful, but totally mystifying, covered every single spot - if she hadn't known him throughout all the years, she wouldn't have recognised him. His features were barely to make out between all this. Not really, anyways. He kept his eyes hefted on the floor.

After a few steps into the hall, the occupants obviously recognised Elan and bowed before her. Mara noticed that everyone of them had a non-Yuuzhan Vong with them and drew the conclusions that they, too, had to be familiars. None of them was as explicitly "decorated" as Luke, but all of them wore a similar robe.

"She was the daughter of the High Priest." Her husband's voice explained. Mara almost snorted. More scenes of a familiar's life flashed before her eyes. Luke sitting quietly at the foot of Elan's chair while she chatted with her fellow Priests and Priestesses. Luke making sure she had to eat and to drink whenever and whatever she desired.
Then she saw like one of the familiars made the mistake to drop his robe just enough for anyone who looked to see his hair. The young boy of a race Mara had never seen was immediately punished severely and finally collapsed unconsciously at the feet of his Master.

The she saw elaborate quarters, the yorik coral still marking them as Yuuzhan Vong. The furniture was strange, the decorations were strange, everything was strange, but the form of her husband was something she recognised immediately.
Here, he was not painted with anything. Just the drev-membrane on his forehead was ever present - clad in garments similar to the ones they had found him in, she could see him sitting on something that looked like a couch, then on a bed, sometimes with Elan, sometimes without her.
It was not very clear, nor very detailed, but it sufficed to give Mara a feeling for what Luke wanted to tell her.

He must have sensed her sudden understanding, for in the next second, she saw again the wide seas of Chandrila and the feebly smiling face of her husband.
"This would have been my life." He said, his voice incredibly low. What surprised Mara was that he didn't seem to be afraid or angry. "No one was to see my face. No one but Elan."

For a while, Mara didn't know what to reply, but finally, she had gathered her composure again: "You know that Elan is dead, Luke. The people in there are not Yuuzhan Vong. They don't even know who you are."

He nodded: "I know."

"No one has the right to tell you what to do. No one has ever had and no one will have. You are free." She continued.

"I know."

Mara rose and held out her hand to him. Luke lifted his head, the uncertainty shining for a little while in his brilliant, blue eyes, but soon being replace by confidence and gratitude. He grasped her hand and together, they went back into the dining room.
Meanwhile, the music had changed from composed happiness to a slow, romantic ballad. At first, their embrace was a little bit awkward and Mara almost immediately felt Luke's need to bolt, to run away, but pressed him only harder at herself.

When she began to slowly move in the rhythm of the musical piece, she could feel her love relax more and more. After a while, he laid his cheek on her head, hugging her close ever so gently and moved more willingly with her.

Mara, whose head rested on his shoulder, smiled relieved. With an effort, she pushed all thoughts at Elan out of her mind and began to relish in the closeness to her husband. At the same time, though, she hoped that this was the last surprise the Yuuzhan Vong priestess had had in store for her and Luke.

-----------------------------
Chandrila, 3 Weeks later
-----------------------------

"No, R2, I'm absolutely sure that no one has followed us here. Face it, no one has found out Luke and I are here." Mara grinned while she tried to persuade the little droid that there was really no danger.
She could understand him, though.

She and her husband had rather neglected their little, mechanic friend, but then, they hadn't done things he would have exactly been suited for. Or interested in, for that matter.
Mara laughed inwards. The last weeks had been really a wonderful time. She and Luke had spent a lot of time talking. He had told her everything about the time she hadn't been here and added a couple more things about Elan he had remembered.

Those memories had come to him during sleep mostly. Occasionally, he still suffered from nightmares, but they weren't that serious anymore that they sent him into shock or anything like that. They disturbed his sound sleep, kept him agitated for a couple of minutes, but after they spoke about them, he'd usually fall asleep soon again.

In her bed. Mara grinned. Yes, ever since he had revealed the details of his torture to her, he had slept in one bed with her. Although this meant they were close to each other for 3 weeks now, it hadn't yet become something usual for Mara again.
She relished it and appreciated the trust Luke put into her. He trusted her to accept his pace. Of course, she mused, it bugged her that he was still not entirely through all this crap. The last intimacy still was nothing he was ready for.

Meanwhile, though, he was a lot better than at the beginning of their holiday. Her love was still self-conscious, but not as much as he had been at first.
And she hoped that he'd shed this last traces of shyness soon - for she had to admit she didn't know how long she could keep from making advances towards him.

With every day they had spent here, Luke had come back to normal in almost every other aspect of their normal life. They had spent most of their time either relaxing and talking or going swimming in the bay Mara had shown him at their second day here. He was back to the weight he had had before the Yuuzhan Vong matter and had gone back to train as he had always done - in the Force, with his lightsaber.

Putting the bags full-packed with groceries on the kitchen table, Mara smiled when she remembered this day a week or so ago.
That morning, she had come onto the terrace to find Luke with folded legs, floating serenely into the air, some thirty centimetres above the floor.

It had given her an immense sense of peace to see him like this, that deeply immersed in the Force, that sure of himself. She had drawn a lot of comfort from the fact that he began to return to old habits, that he cared again about his body, about his health. This was an extremely good sign, as she knew.

Of course he had noticed her and ended his meditation. She had told him that was glad to see him train again. He had smiled, sadly, and Mara had queried what was wrong.

"My lightsaber." He had said. When she had only stared at him irritated, he had sighed: "I suppose Elan has taken it from me while I was unconscious." Knowing how much his weapon had been a part of him, of his beliefs, she had tried to soothe him, to cheer him up a little bit, when R2 had begun a real twittering concert.

Of course they hadn't understood what he wanted, even having told him rather impatiently to shut up because he really didn't contribute to a peaceful breakfast.
It wasn't until he catapulted Luke's lightsaber right into his bowl of muesli that they had understood what he had wanted to tell them.

Mara chuckled lowly when she remembered Luke's face - drops of milk splattered across his cheeks and on his nose, mouth hanging open with surprise, he had looked like Palpatine himself had suddenly materialised on the breakfast table.

Well, ok, probably she hadn't looked much more intelligent than he, but a little fun was never wrong. When they'd finally succeeded in finding a datapad they could hook up to their little astromech, R2 explained to them that Leia had given the lightsaber to him while Luke had been in the clinic.

She had instructed the little droid to only give it to Luke if he asked, assuming that her brother knew that his saber wasn't in the Yuuzhan Vong's possession and that he wouldn't want to have it immediately after the straining ordeal.

Since then, every morning Mara could watch Luke train. He had been out of it for a relatively long time and was rather clumsy at first, having to deal with the fact that he hadn't at this time recovered his normal weight yet and that his muscles had been totally unused to this sort of action for quite a long time.
But with every hour of patient repetition of the graceful movements, Mara had seen how he came nearer and nearer to the pique of his abilities.

Now, she enjoyed the cat-like agility, his grace, the beauty of the movements, the power of his muscles. It was just wonderful to watch him this way, his absorbed expression, his quiet efficiency. It was impressing and soon he triumphed over her during sparring again.

Luke was the best, no doubt about that. During the weeks after his breakdown, he had been vulnerable, but now he was back at his best. No Jedi or warrior Mara knew, light or dark, would stand a chance against him if Luke was serious.
If it weren't for his big heart and compassionate, tender nature, Luke would have made a perfect, deadly assassin, she had though during an absurd moment when she had watched him perform his stealth abilities.

During the first days of the Yuuzhan Vong, and Jedi investigations throughout the galaxy, Luke had come to see that this was a very useful thing. Still, Mara was better at stealth than he.

Drawing her mind back to the present, she stored the groceries away. She had bought a whole lot of them, for Luke, being his old self again, was practically always hungry.

"Luke?" she queried aloud.

"Over here, on the terrace!" his voice answered here. Wondering what he did out there at this time of the day - it was rather hot and the wind was very strong - she went out.

To her utter surprise, Luke was sitting on the railing, a huge piece of paper in his lap and colour pens splattered all around him. His gaze was focused on something out of her side, then he turned his attention towards the piece of paper, setting to work with a yellow pen.

Curious, Mara went over to him, following his gaze the next time he let it wander. At a point on the beach, far down, she could see an isolated little space that was protected from the harsh wind. Bright yellow and blue flowers were crowded there, offering a humble, but still beautiful sight.

Lowering her gaze, she almost gasped in surprise. On the piece of paper, the exact same scene greeted her, illustrated with careful, detailed lines, coloured very softly and yet shining.

"I never knew you could draw!" she sputtered, sitting down behind him and watching how his hand skilfully led the pen over the paper. He just smiled shyly and continued.

"Why did you never tell me?" Mara asked, her eyes nailed fascinated on the artwork her husband produced.

"You never asked." Was his simple answer.

"Well... I never saw you do that. You never talked about it either." She defender herself, although she felt a little ridiculous to have to defend herself. Probably she was just angry at herself that she didn't know something that special about the man she loved more than her own life.

Luke laughed, then lay the paper away and focused on her: "I used to draw a lot when I was young, on Tatooine. But after I met Ben, I never had time again. During the Rebellion, I had more important things on my mind than to draw and after that.. well, then too."

He shrugged, the continued. "This morning, I just though I could try again. I had nothing to do - you were away shopping, there was nothing on the vid, the new book chips I ordered are only coming in two days and my practice I already did."

"So you thought you're going to draw a masterpiece." Mara said smiling, taking a closer look at what he had drawn.

Luke blushed slightly: "That's no masterpiece, Mara. It's even not that good."

Mara perched an eyebrow: "Stop that, Skywalker. This IS good - you may be no super artist, but for a hobby painter, that's pretty good. And I mean that - I do know some things about art."<

Luke scratched his head, grinning bashfully: "You really think so?"

She nodded, emphasise her agreement by a kiss on his cheek: "I'm serious. Do you have more of that?"

Now that he was sure that she was serious, Luke seemed really eager to share his hobby with his wife: "Yeah, at home. All the drawings I did when I was on Yavin IV, alone in the second temple, the old one, you know."

"I'd like to see them if we're back."

He nodded. "Of course. When do we return, anyways?" Luke asked, sounding not at all as casual as he wanted to sound.

"Whenever YOU say you want to go back." Mara said, laying the paper and the pens aside, hopping from the railing and stretching out on the warmed, smooth stone of the terrace. Luke joined her and lay his under head, invitingly.
She accepted this all too readily, cuddling into his embrace, inhaling deeply just to relish his smell. "I don't feel up to meeting the galaxy again. All these questions, the work." He said lowly. Only his serene Force signature told her that he wasn't afraid, just still a little tired.

"If you don't mind, Mara, I'd like to stay a little longer."

Mara caressed his chest, shaking her head against his shoulder. No, she didn't mind at all. Now, with Luke being almost fully recovered, the fun part of the holiday would only begin.

~~~~~~~~~~~
To Be Continued
~~~~~~~~~~~
I have succeeded in churning out another part of "Healing". I spend the whole day to perfect it (meaning more than 8 hours!!!) and now it's done.
I hope you do enjoy it and please let me know what you think.

NOTE: THIS PIECE IS NC-17!!!!!
DON'T READ IF YOU'RE NOT AT LEAST 18!!!!

Sincerely,

~**SIENN**~

-----------------------
Healing - Part 6
-------------------

NC-17

------------------------
Chandrila, Week 7
--------------------
Once again, the day was beautiful. Sometimes, it seemed to Mara that this planet didn't know another season than summer, though she pretty much knew that this was not true. There were the standard four seasons to be found, even if the summer was a little longer than on most other planets with this sort cycle to go through every year.
Mara really loved the summer on Chandrila, she loved their quiet, little bungalow and the gorgeous scenery that was the sea and the beach right below them.
When Luke had finally begun to relax here, a couple of weeks ago, Mara had for the first time noticed that she, too, was in need of a holiday. The constant worry about her husband, her very precious, had taken its toll on her, also, even if she almost hadn't noticed it in the first place.
For quite a time now, their ritual had always been the same. Mara would sleep well into the day, having never been an early riser, but Luke would quietly slip out of the bed and the house and go on with his morning practice. Not that his wife didn't practice at all - she just preferred to do it in the afternoon or even the evening, instead of sacrificing her so much craved sleep.
This very morning was no exception. Mara woke to the sun blazing into her bedroom, not yet with its full midday heat, but gentle and teasing. She stretched, smiling contentedly. One could think Mara would possibly be a little miffed about the fact that she wasn't able to wake up with her husband, but then, she always noticed when he left.
They woke at the same time mostly, the sun just about to peek out behind the horizon. They'd lay next to each other for a couple of minutes, intertwined, caressing and enjoying the moment, then Luke'd softly push her away and slip out of bed.
Mara didn't have any objections against that. She well knew that, unlike her, Luke would never be able to fall asleep again and would only unnerve her by tossing or fidgeting when she forced him to lay still for hours.
Smiling to herself, she got up and, brushing her hair with her fingers, made her way out onto the terrace. Though it was rather late into the morning - 10 o'clock, she guessed - it was still comfortably tempered - neither too hot, nor too cold. Perfectly fitting to enjoy the morning with nothing but an old shirt on which she had borrowed from Luke.
Mara chuckled lowly. Sitting down on one of the chairs on the terrace, she remember herself condemning all this "sickly sweet" stuff like sleeping with a man's shirt on just to smell him close to her - that had been her thoughts about that before she had met Luke. Or rather, before she had admitted to herself that she had fallen in love with him. She still found it a little mushy, but meanwhile, she LIKED this mushiness.
Mara would never have imagined that she'd reach this state - that she'd become this emotional a person. And least of all because of Luke Skywalker. But somehow, this man had worked his magic on her, a magic she couldn't deny.
He was a captivating personality and his earnestness in dealing with her, the openness and readiness with which he had accepted her past and decided not to judge or condemn her because of this had pushed open a door to a place in Mara Jade's soul she had thought to have died too early in her life as that she would have been able to remember.
And, as she had come to respect him more and more, to come to know him more and more, she had come to see that he was addictive - at least to her. His smile, his eyes, his voice, his being was addictive and the memory at how empty she had felt while their mind link was cut made Mara shiver.
She really would take care that she never had to miss him again like this. Never. What brought her to the question where the object of her musings actually was.
For he obviously wasn't anywhere in the house, Mara stepped up to the railing and gazed out over the beach.
In the past weeks, she had often found him performing his practice down there or, when this hadn't been the case, had been able to find him in the little bay she had discovered in their first days where he enjoyed the calm water and used this fact to swim and dive until she came over to him. What she normally did as soon as she had persuaded herself to crawl out of the comfy bed.
Today, though, she was a little earlier as she was normally, and this not without a good reason. For she had a final surprise for her husband.
All this time, Mara had been delighted that Luke had let her organise everything related to these holidays - every trip, every dinner, every day.
That had made her suspicious at first, for Luke loved to explore a planet, its cities, its customs, its people, if he had the opportunity to do so and normally rather liked to decide himself what to do when and where.
Some evening during dinner, he had caught up on her suspicion and explained to her that he actually liked to not have to worry about anything trivial like organisation. "I trust you to find things I like, Mara." He had said and had made Mara blush quite uncharacteristically.
She was surprised herself about the sureness with which she was able to pick out things Luke was always excited about. The easiness of pushing back her own preferences for the sake of her husband being happy.
Anyways, she had planned this day excruciatingly careful, almost every minute of it and wanted it to be something special. The pompous end, so to speak, for they had decided a couple of days ago that they'd return to Coruscant by the end of the week.
By then, they would have been gone for two months. Two months in which the galaxy had neither seen nor heard anything about the great Jedi Master. The galaxy - and his sister. Mara imagined that every day she didn't get a message from her brother was a hard day for Leia and she didn't think they could strain the Princess's patience for much longer a time without risking that the alderaanian woman would think there was something wrong and would send the whole fleet after them.
Having this in mind, Mara gave R2 orders to finish the last preparations of her surprise, then slipped over a robe and made her way down to the beach.
She wasn't in a particular hurry - they were still good in time - but yet she didn't go too slow either. In the evening, with Luke, she enjoyed taking a walk a long the beach, slowly, and relishing the feel - but Luke was the crucial factor with that. Without him, admiring nature was not half as much fun as with him.
It took her just about ten minutes to reach the little bay, their little paradise, as Luke called it, but her husband was nowhere to see. Sighing, she reached out with the Force: 'Luke?'
She immediately got a soft brush at her soul as answer, but nothing that indicated he would come out of the water anytime soon. Rather, she knew that he expected her to join him in the silver waves. Mara smirked, let him know that she had something special in mind and settled down onto the sand to wait. Force knew how far he had swum.
His fascination with the water was endearing. And of course the water, the sea, had been the most important reason for her to pick Chandrila out of the thousands of pleasure planets all through the galaxy.
Right from the beginning, Mara had wanted not only a quiet, but also a special place for Luke to spend his holidays on. She had wanted to confront him with something totally new, totally captivating for him, as a sort of distraction from all the terrible things that must still assault his mind when he was alone or had nothing to do.
At first, she had thought about taking him to Mon Calamari, having been sure that their old friend Ackbar would surely be able to arrange a nice room or suite in a good hotel, but then she had reconsidered it.
Yeah, water would be something fascinating for Luke Skywalker, a man who had been raised on a desert planet and after that hadn't had exactly the time to explore what he had only heard told about in fairy-tales - the sea.
But she had wondered whether he would be comfortable when there would be nothing but water all around him.
Mon Calamari had no continents - the islands that existed were small and not suited to sustain guests - unless you wanted to live like a caveman. So they would have been forced to stay on one of the floating cities and probably Luke would have become even more nervous.
Leia had told her about the strain it had put on him when the two of them had been on Mimban, forced to travel over a large lake on nothing but the leaf of a plant.
So she had decided to go for Chandrila and had learnt that Lando had a wonderful bungalow there, which he seldomly used. But for him, she supposed, the fact that he OWNED it was more important than the question whether he really NEEDED it. That was Lando... he loved luxury.
It had taken her a few hours to swallow her pride and go ask him for the keys, ask him to be permitted to live there and offer him to pay a rent, if he wanted to. She had counted on him doing some of his tasteless jokes, but had been pleasantly surprised by him.
He had smiled and given her the keys and necessary documents without a word, then shortly embraced her and whispered: "Take care of Luke, Mara. Help him heal."
Mara had just stared at him, having never expected anything like that from Calrissian of all people. She had been mistaken. Gravely mistaken.
He had seen her astonishment and for a moment, she had though to have seen hurt in his dark eyes. But when he had spoken, his voice had been calm and soft. And full of emotion: "He is my friend, Mara. I want him to be ok. I won't tell anyone you're there." More seriously, he added: "If you should need anything, contact me. Tell Luke so, too."
With this, he had turned and left for his ship, having some serious business about his companies to attend to elsewhere. But his statement, his words, had touched Mara deeply.
There were so many people who loved Luke - the earnestness of their feelings had made Mara feel unworthy in those days. There was no question about anything with them. It was Luke and if Luke needed help, they were there.
And they had really been there, while Luke had been unconscious in his medical room. Wedge, Corran, Lando, Tycho. They had all dropped in, wanting to see him. She remembered how they had paled when Han had told them what had happened, remember the worry she had seen in their eyes, the disappointment and annoyance when they had been told that Luke couldn't see anyone right now.
With everything going on, they hadn't had time to stay long and had had to leave before Luke regained his awareness. But they had sent him messages, stating repeatedly that a word of him would be enough and they'd be back.
Yes, she mused, he was loved. For everything he was. He had always put his friends before anything else, even his own life and neither of them would ever forget that. She had experienced first hand how they did stick together.
Back then, decades ago, when she had made it public that she'd use the first possibility to kill Luke Skywalker, she had come to see that, if she decided to deal with Luke Skywalker, there were a whole lot of fairly dangerous people she had to take on, too.
Solo had made that clear to her... Lando had taken a distance from her when he had heard this statement and only after the things that had happened on Wayland had gone back to vowing her - being sure that she didn't intend to kill Luke anymore. Wedge had been suspicious about her up until she had married Luke. Not that Mara held that against him- the two of them had hardly met and she knew that Luke knew Wedge as long as he knew Han.
To tell the truth, Mara was kind of proud that her husband instilled this sort of loyalty, of friendship, love and protectiveness in those he dealed with.
He was a very special being and she was incredibly lucky to have insured herself the love of this special being, she though to herself, lifting her head and smiling broadly at the figure that was splashing towards the land.
Yeah, she repeated in her head, she was very lucky. He was not only a wonderful being considering his soul - to her, he was very special and most beautiful in flesh, too.
Now, this long after his nervous breakdown and the weeks of severe depression that had followed, there was no trace of the eating problems he had had.
He was still slim, but he had always been. And there was a big difference between being slim and being thin, as she well knew. To her, he was perfect and if she considered his age, even more so. The cute dimple in his chin was only one factor that let him seem boyish, even now that he was beyond 40. He didn't look like it. Not a bit.
The dimple.. and they eyes. The eyes that could still hold a little boy's fascination. The blue could turn into ice when he was angry, it could darken when he was tired and sad and it could sparkle and shine when he was happy, when he laughed, when he enjoyed himself. Or when he was curious.
The mop of his hair added to his youthfulness either. He had been quite content to let it be a little longer, not having bothered to cut it all too short. She didn't know whether this had any deeper sense, but she liked it, thus she didn't bother about it a bit.
Now, that he came out of the water, the blonde strands soaked with water and plastered onto his head, drops all over his body glittering in the sun and sliding down his fine-boned, well-trained frame, she felt the strong urge to embrace him, kiss him, feel him.
She wetted her lips when he came nearer, but the expression on his face and the way he plopped down beside her told her that he really didn't think at something like that at the moment.
Inwardly, she sighed, but gathered her composure soon.
"You know what that is?" he asked, slightly panting and dropping a handful of deep purple stones in front of her into the sand.
Mara needed a moment to focus on them, finding herself mesmerised by the way the sand clung to Luke's lightly tanned skin when he pushed himself up on an elbow, lay his chin in the palm of his hand and stared at the stones.
"Um.. no." she finally said, forcing herself to change the direction of her gaze.
Luke frowned, still attentively eyeing the stones, and touched one of them. When he let go, it suddenly was from a rich, red-gold colour. Mara perched an eyebrow, her curiosity peeked.
"Where did you find those?" she asked, being sure that nothing of this sort had been encountered by herself when she had accompanied Luke in his diving excursions. He smiled: "It's way out, on the cliffs before the sea ground gives way to this underwater precipice. You know? We have seen it on the charts of the planet." He explained.
Mara froze: "Don't tell me you've swum out that far! That's well beyond the bay!" she exclaimed, staring at him incredulously. Luke grinned: "Well, I'm in good condition."
His wife rolled her eyes: "That's not what I mean! There are... gods, Luke, there are all possible predators living in those seas! You can't just go splashing around that far from the shore, without your lightsaber." She fumed.
Luke snorted: "Oh, come on, Mara. If something tried to sneak up on me, I'd feel it way before there would be any danger and I could avoid it."
Annoyed, she folded her arms before her chest: "Obviously, you'll never change, Luke Skywalker." She growled.
Determined to stay angry with him, her resolve faltered when she felt him crawl up to her, softly pushing her on her back and onto the warm sand, smiling at her mischievously: "Do you really want me to?"
She stared into his eyes - now oh so baby blue with innocence - and finally sighed: "I guess not." He grinned victoriously, rising and brushing the sand off his skin.
Mara popped herself up on her elbows and stared up at his shapely behind, then stating: "Promise me not to swim that far into the sea again."
He turned, staring down at her and towering over her, but this merely brought Mara to smirk. Luke was not exactly tall - in fact, for a man, he was rather small. Fine-boned, delicate, strong... but small. Anyways, not at all tall enough to intimidate her.
Finally shrugging, he nodded: "Okay, if it makes you happy. We're not here for long anymore anyways." He added with an evil glint in his eyes, dodging the wave of sand she sent toward him with a strong kick of her right leg.
"Coward." She grunted. Luke merely laughed. It was such a wonderful sound, Mara thought. A wonderful sound, a wonderful man.
"Hurry, farmboy, we're having an appointment in an hour." She said after a while, watching him while he dried himself.
"What? What have you come up with now, Jade?" he queried, unintentionally amusing her by struggling to get the water out of his ears.
"You'll see, you'll see. By the way, " she finally rose, too, gathering the Mon Calamari breathing mask her husband had dropped onto the sand, "where did you learn to swim?"
Luke stopped for a moment, smiling to himself, obviously lost in a fond memory: "Han taught me how to swim. It's been ages... after the Battle of Yavin. I first thought he wanted to drown me..." he chuckled and when Mara perched an eyebrow, hurried to explain: "You know Han. He had just a very... unusual way to do it, that's all."
"I can imagine." Mara mumbled, feeling a little melancholic upon thinking that back then, while the man she'd later love more than anything had learnt this, she had served the monster that wanted to kill him or turn him into a Dark Jedi. Now, it seemed paradox.
But no use in thinking about this now. "Come on, we've got to go." She said, dragging him after her.
~**
Three hours later, Luke knew exactly what the surprise was and, to say the least, he was suspicious. From their bungalow, they had gone by food for three hours, arriving at what looked like a little farm or ranch amidst the chandrilan grass planes. It was really idyllic and Luke had thought they'd perhaps take lunch here or something, but he had been mistaken.
"Oh, come on, Luke. You can ride, can't you?" Mara asked, stroking the deep-green fur of a four-legged, rather big, native animal that did look vaguely like a horse. Just that it was bigger, broader and a lot more agitated.
Luke frowned, hesitantly stroking the bronze fur of the specimen that was destined to take him to wherever Mara had planned them to go. "Taun-Tauns. Banthas. But THIS..?" he shook his head. "It's not exactly what I'm used to."
Mara sighed, then came over to him: "Don't make me laugh. If you can ride something as stubborn as a Taun-Taun, then you can ride a Codi, too. Really, it's not that different."
"It's got just more legs." Luke murmured, still dubious, but at least beginning to like the idea.
His wife laughed, then swung herself onto her Codi and winked at him: "If you're afraid, farmboy, I'll just enjoy the afternoon by myself. Don't think I can't have a fun day without you." And with his, she galloped in the general direction of a far-away forest.
For just a few seconds, Luke stood rather dumbfounded, staring after her, then his stubbornness set in and he determinedly climbed onto his anima's back.
"It can't be that difficult, can it?" he mumbled to himself, settling into the saddle and trying to get comfortable. It was another feeling than sitting on a Taun-Taun - somehow more convenient, but yet strange.
"Now there, how do I get you going?" he mused aloud, being absolutely sure that the rudeness that was applied to a Taun-Taun wouldn't be taken kindly by this particular kind of beast. He decided to go for the way of least resistance, reaching out to the Force and intending to give a nudge to the animal.
'Oh no, Skywalker! No Force cheating allowed.' His wife's voice sounded in his head. Luke groaned. She gained more and more on him and he looked reasonably dumb, sitting there on an animal that was happily chewing away on some grass.
"Okay. Oookay." Luke grumbled. Recalling what exactly Mara had done and in which order, he copied it and really, to his utter satisfaction, the animal began to go after its fellow that was only a little, black spot in the far.
After a couple of tries - one of which got the Copi to halt abruptly, almost throwing Luke off its back - he even found out how to bring it to gallop and caught up with Mara.
~**
Mara was dozing and enjoying herself immensely. Being the good ex-Emperor's Hand she was, she had explored the whole vicinity of the bungalow they were staying in already way before they had come here and planned to do such a trip before she had know Luke would be able to do it at all.
Now, she was happy that she didn't have to be sorry about that. They had ridden for quite a few hours, enjoying the feeling of becoming acquainted to the animals that were a lot more intelligent than Taun-Tauns.
As she had expected, Luke hadn't really had any problems to adapt himself to the sort of animal he was required to ride. Animals had always like him and he had liked them, so there was no big problem. He had just at first not known how to handle such an unfamiliar beast.
Now, the two Copis were grazing quietly a couple of meters away from them, being bound to a rather large, broad tree and so not in danger to go lost.
She herself lay in the soft, rich smelling grass on a sun bathed streak of land, her head resting in the small of Luke's back.
She had been dozing - sometimes even sleeping - for the most part, relishing his closeness, playing with his hand until he had withdrawn it some time ago.
Mara knew quite well that her husband was neither dozing, nor sleeping and she was dying to know what he fumbled, but until now, he hadn't made any sign to share it.
Up to this moment, that was.
"Mara?" he asked softly.
"Hmmm...?" she huffed, feeling perfect right at the moment. They had had a very, very delicious picnic which she had brought with them and the day was just about wonderful.
"Turn, please." She did so, feeling as he turned either, on his back, his shirt slipping a little higher, revealing a flat stomach and a navel that was extremely enticing to Mara.
Before she could contemplate more about this particular part of her husband's body, though, he sat upright, letting her head plop down into his lap.
"Here." He said softly, letting something dangle in front of her eyes. Mara couldn't help but smile enchanted. Somehow, Force knew how, he had managed to make a hole in every one of the stones he had found in the sea, arraying them on a string of soft, dark leather.
The deep purple colour was extremely beautiful. Seeing that she liked it, Luke beamed and put it softly around her neck, fastening it with a knot.
As soon as the cool stones made contact with the warm skin on her breastbone, they changed colour, glittering in the warm, rich red-gold they had already shown down at the beach.
"They remind me of your hair." Luke said finally, sounding a little shy. Still, after all these weeks, he was rather timid around her if it came to tenderness, to flirting. To things which had been natural between the two of them before Ithor.
Hesitantly, he took one of her heavy looks and twirled it around his finger. "It's the same colour, you know. I've always loved it." He didn't dare to look at her, as she noted, but focused on the way the sun glittered on her hair.
Mara for her part, found herself captivated by the man before her. Showing her the side of his face, she marvelled at his delicate beauty, and decided that if she didn't try it now, she would be never brave enough.
She craved to touch him, but was afraid to startle him, to scare him away. It was difficult for her to foresee how he would react. Their relationship had in many ways come back to normal, in some ways they were even closer than before, but everything that concerned their sexual relationship had been unthreaded territory for weeks now.
Luke was hesitant and she knew why. His self-esteem wasn't fully back to normal and the prospect in a life of slavery - mentally as well as bodily - in Elan's possession had humiliated him. Despite the fact that she had repeatedly assured him that she didn't found him ugly, that she didn't think him to be less worth because of what had almost happened to him.
Obviously, his subconscious had had a hard time believing it. Wounds like this were deep. And needed time to heal, as Han would probably say now.
Holding her breath unconsciously, she traced the outline of his jaw softly, admiring the way his face was cut. Mara very well noticed the way his eyes widened a little bit, but he kept focused on the lock of her hair, whether he wanted to avoid looking into her own eyes or whether he was really to enticed by it she didn't know. Couldn't even guess.
As softly as she could, eager not to let it seem as if she'd force him to anything - a thought that was absurd to her, but Luke's subconscious perhaps still held this fear and she didn't want to risk the moment - she turned his head and, finally, he looked right into her eyes, unsure, but not really afraid. At least she thought so.
Pushing all fears and doubts away, she leaned forward and touched his lips with hers, softly at first, tasting the faint trace of the sea water's salt on them. It only made her want more, but she paused, even if only for a second.
Luke was surprised, she could see that, could feel, for the smallest moment possible, his impulse to back away, but he squashed it - leaned in closer.
Encouraged, she lay her hands firmly at his cheek, feeling the heat of a slight blush in them and pressed her lips at his. She was delighted when he reacted on her kiss, when she felt his tongue dart into her own mind, circle hers, when she felt him lick at her lips, trail her teeth..
How she had missed his taste - sea water and ksava-fruit mixed with his very own taste. It was elating, euphoric almost and she pushed him to the ground, clinging to him, letting herself be embraced by his strong arms.
At first, this embrace seemed to be a little helpless, but when she extended her kisses, splattering them on his cheekbones, his nose, his eyelids, she could feel him relax.
Once again assaulting his lips, this time more ferociously than tender, grinning when she felt him getting more determined in return, she roamed through his hair - she liked his as much as he loved hers,, no doubt.
She almost sighed with disappointment when she had to come up for air, but used the moment to take a look at her husband. Luke gazed up at her, a little shaken obviously, panting, his full lips red from her kisses.
Mara already wanted to rise, having the desperate feeling she had done too much too soon, when he suddenly whispered: "I love you, Mara."
For a moment, she was too stunned to reply, having expected a shy remark or a frantic scramble to safety, then she laughed shortly and leaned back down to once again claim possession of his lips.
This time, Luke wasn't surprised though, but pulled her to him with determination, caressing through her hair as she did with his, enjoying her sweet taste and the way she used to wrestle with his tongue. This was a nice, little play between them, had ever been and he was shocked that he had forgotten how much he loved this.
He lost track of the time, only was aware of the moves of Mara's soft lips against his, her lithe, warm body pressed against his and her hands that caressed his face.
Mara, for her part, experienced the same, and if it was possible, was happier than he, feeling that Luke was back. Fully, totally.
Feeling confident, she let her right hand slide under his shirt and wander upwards, in search of what she knew to be one of Luke's most sensible spots.. and was astonished to be stopped by a large hand that grasped her wrist and halted her advances.
Flabbergasted, she lifted her head from her husband's face and stared down at him, afraid to see the expression in his eyes - afraid to once again see panic and fear get the better of him.
But this wasn't what his eyes held - she bit her lower lip, frowning slightly: "What's the matter, Luke? Too fast?" she asked, still a little out of breath.
He shook his head. "No... no, just.. not here." He gestured around, blushing a little more, afraid to have embarrassed himself before her.
Mara grinned, then kissed the tip of his nose. "Right. Too much earth and bugs." She commented, snipping one annoying specimen of the latter race away that battled its way up Luke's shoulder. "Would want them to bite any sensible part." She added, smirking.
He laughed, obviously relieved, then rose, dragging her up with him. Arm in arm, they went over to the Copis and began the voyage back to the farm.
~**
Three hours later, still arm in arm, they were on the walk back to their bungalow, not particularly hurrying, but enjoying every second of it.
The path they took was framed by miles and miles of planes with grass, the air was calm and warm and the quiet all around them let it seem as if they were the only people on the whole, wide planet.
Two people in love, as Mara thought happily, leaning her head on Luke's shoulder and putting her hand into the backside-bag of his pants.
Luke perched an eyebrow at her, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously: "No bag of your own, Jade?" "Don't like the feel, Skywalker?" she retorted, letting her fingers play a little, not bothering to look up for she could feel his shuddering immediately. He had more than one sensible spot.
"Wouldn't say that." He murmured, hardening his hold around her delicate shoulders, a smile playing around his mouth. "Thought so." She chuckled softly.
After a while, half of the distance already behind him, Luke's voice cut through Mara's thoughts - or rather, the pleasant absence of any thoughts but how much she loved the man at her side.
"You know, you never told me how you were healed."
Mara stopped, staring at him surprised: "What brought you to that NOW?"
Luke grinned bashfully, shrugging.
It was everything he needed to get Mara to almost forgive him everything. She shook her head smiling, punching him playfully on the shoulder, then swung her left arm around his slim waist.
"Nature healed me." She finally stated.
Her husband didn't reply anything to that and she could feel his puzzlement, his questions that formed in his mind.
"I went to Dathomir to ask Augwynne for help." she explained.
"Augwynne." He repeated slowly, dear remembrances about the curious old woman surfacing in his mind. "Augwynne is very special. And wise."
He could feel Mara nod: "Indeed, she is. She told me that only I would know the cure for my illness. I didn't understand what she meant at first, but finally, after the vision, I understood. And was healed."
"The vision?" Luke echoed.
His wife nodded again: "I saw you. You on Dathomir. You were terribly injured - almost dead. But nature healed you. And it healed me after the vision - after I recognised what the vision meannt, that is."
"Amazing." Her husband whispered. After a few more steps, he stopped, turning to face her. "Back then, when this happened, I was aware that something special had occurred. Something with a deeper sense. But I didn't understand this sense at this time and filed it away in my head. For contemplation when I'd have time again - perhaps also more experience. But now... the implications, Mara..." he trailed off, shaking his head in wonderment.
She smiled about his awe, the continued for him: "There is a connection between the Jedi and nature. A connection far deeper than we thought. It's more than just feeling everything what lives - we can directly draw power from nature."
This time, he nodded, opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by a deep rumble. Startled, both of them looked around, for the first time noting the dark clouds that covered the sky and seeing the flashes that lighted the horizon far away.
The wind had picked up and judging by its velocity, the thunderstorm would be directly above them very soon.
"I think we should speed the whole thing up." Mara suggested, shivering slightly. The air had gone noticeably cooler. "Obviously, nature's not always on the side of the Jedi." Luke popped, fastening his steps.
Mara snorted: "You know, Skywalker, if everything on you improves with the years, your humour does not." Luke clutched a hand over his heart in mock-hurt: "Mara! I'm wounded, I..!" A soft punch into his stomach silenced him. "Can it, Luke." She giggled.
All the fastening of their steps didn't safe them from the rain that began pouring down. When they finally reached their bungalow, laughing and breathing hard after a dead-run, they were wet through to their bones. Exhausted, they stumbled into their living room, pausing and trying to catch some air.
A fire burnt in the chimney, warming the whole room and giving it a cosy, romantic feeling. "Wow. R2 is finally good for something." Mara said, giving R2 a snicker. The little droid whined indigenously and rolled out of the room, twittering his rage.
Mara laughed, then turned away from the astromech, looking at Luke who stood opposite of her. For quite a time, they just stood there and looked at each other.
She found herself not able to tear her gaze away from him, heard the rain pouring against the glass walls, saw the flickers of the lightnings, heard the rumble of the thunder... but her heartbeat was almost louder as that. He was so beautiful...
"Is this place convenient, Master Skywalker?" she finally brought out, her throat dry, her voice raspy. Luke licked his lips, staring at her, then whispered: "I think so."
This was the only incentive Mara needed. She crossed the distance between them, first kissing his lips with the same ferocity as back in the forest. Her hands slid along his shoulders, along his chest and slowly unbuttoned the soaked shirt.
She loosened it, her kisses wandered along his jaw line, down his throat. Her lips rested at the small place just under this place, her tongue licking softly. She knew he loved this and was rewarded by a low moan of pleasure.
"Mara.." he whispered. She didn't reply, determined to be stopped only bodily. She had wanted this for too long, had wanted this too bad as to stop now because she THOUGHT he was PERHAPS insecure.
She felt her love shiver as the wet cloth slid off him, letting goosebumps appear on his lightly tanned skin. Her hands roamed over his smooth chest, brushing over nipples she felt harden at her touch.
Smiling to herself, she let her kisses travel down further, encircling his nipples with her tongue, then dedicated quite a time to his stomach and navel. She felt him tremble and when Mara draw him closer to her, could feel the hardness in his pants.
"No shyness anymore." She whispered - it being half question, half statement. His breathing was laboured, his eyes had darkened with desire and his tongue lashed out over suddenly dry lips.
"No, I.." he began, but was cut off by Mara's finger which she lay onto his lip. "Don't talk, show." She whispered, pushing herself against his lower body, satisfied to hear his breathing fasten even more.
It was almost palpable for her how he pushed all his fears, his doubts, his embarrassment out of the way. Before she could have uttered another word, he pressed her at himself, kissing every spot of her face he could get a hold of. While he finally stopped at her earlobe, taking it into his mouth and sucking and biting softly, she could feel him tore away her own shirt.
'I know YOUR sensible spots as well as you know mine.' His husky voice whispered in her mind and he proved it immediately, abandoning her ear and attacking the base of her skull with his tongue.
She shivered and panted audible when his hands slid down her body, cupping her breasts and caressing around her nipples through the silky fabric of her bra.
Burying her face in his chest, smelling his sweat, hearing his heard beat wildly, she also let her hands fall away from his hips, down to his behind, cupping it firmly, being a little rougher than he was to her. Another moan escaped him, this time louder and obviously pleased. Wanting to tortured him a little longer, she took one of his nipples into her mouth and teased him with her tongue.
He pushed his lower body against hers, allowing no misunderstandings about that he wanted what they were doing now.
He underlined it further by finally ripping her bra off her, giving her, taking her breast into his mouth and working wonders at her.
Luke lifted her higher to have easier access to her and Mara leaned her cheek panting on his shoulder. "Luke..." she whispered, following a drop of sweat with her eyes. It made its way down between his shoulder blades to the small of his back, following the outlines of shifting muscles under smooth skin.
Impatiently, she fingered his pants with her hands, finally succeeding in unbuttoning them after throwing his belt far away. He let her down on the floor again, groaning when she ripped his trousers off, then his underwear and paid her back with doing the same for her.
Mara pushed him to the floor, onto his back and laid herself onto him, ravishing his whole chest and stomach with her tongue, his taste and scent driving her crazy. Salt, sweat and his own unique one. Too long had she been denied this. Far too long.
She went farther down, spreading soft kisses along the insides of his things, carefully avoiding his erection. He groaned, burying his hands in her hair. "Mara, please..." it almost sounded like begging, his voice dark with desire and lust.
Carefully moving up his body, making sure his aroused member was touched more than one time by her body, she lowered herself onto him - or rather, was lowered, for Luke pressed her at himself as if he would want her to crawl into him.
They paused for a moment, relishing the moment of reunion after this trying a time for as long as possible, gazing into each others' eyes.
Gods, she though, he was so beautiful this way. His chest moving up and down with his ragged breathing, his eyes glittering, perspiration soaked strands of his hair clinging to his forehead, his lips slightly parted.
"I love you." He said finally, mesmerised by her gorgeousness. She was beautiful, her locks a deep brown through rain and sweat, her porcelain skin flushed and her eyes dark like the sea just before a storm. Force, how he loved this woman. How he had missed her.
"I love you, too." She whispered back. Once again, their lips met in a kiss, but this time, it was not ravishing, but tender and passionate. They began to move slowly, carefully, eager to not rush the experience, eager to cherish it as if it would be the first time for both of them.
They were lost into each other's breathing, each other's heartbeat and somewhere on the way, the gentleness gave way to passion. Both their moans and gasps became louder when Luke turned her onto her back, resting his wait partially on his elbows and fastening his pace, burying his face in her wet locks, his breath hot behind her ears.
"I love you." They both whispered again and again, Mara caressing his back, his behind, feeling his muscles shift, feeling the heat of his skin, the sweat.
She felt herself reaching the peak, reached unconsciously towards her husband, feeling himself reach back. He crushed his mouth on her and their orgasmic cries were stifled to breathless moans while, for a moment that stretched into a wonderful little eternity, they were one in body and soul.
Only when Luke collapsed onto her, still panting, Mara began to slowly register her surroundings again. "I love you." She repeated. No matter how often she had already said it, she HAD to say it again. And again. And again.
Luke slid off her, sprawling on the rug in front of the chimney. "I know." It came out of the depth of his heart and for the first time since they had come here, Mara could hear that he believed it. Believed it with all his soul.
She crawled up to him, rested her head on his chest, drawing circles around his navel while she caressed her shoulder. They didn't say more, it was not needed. They just lay there, watching as the rain poured, the lightnings flickered, listening as the thunder rumbled. And letting the flames dry their sweat.
In this very moment, everything was fine. There was no hurt, no anger, no fear. There was only peace and love.
~**To Be Continued **~
After a long wait, as I have to admit, here is final the last chapter of "Healing". My finals are behind me and I had time to devote my weekend to this chapter and I think it has payed.

Please read and review.

Sincerely,

*|Sienn|*

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Healing - Part 7
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PG-13

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Chandrila, Week 7
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The way of wakening was familiar and yet it was not. Though they had been married for almost eight years now and Mara had regularly woken up entwined with her husband, this time was something special. Something she savoured as if it was the very first time they had taken their love to a more bodily level.

Stifling a yawn, she blinked her eyes open and took a look around, smiling softly to herself when she took in her surroundings. She couldn't have slept very long, for rain was still pouring down and creating a soft, natural background music. The fire in the chimney still burnt and probably was the reason that she wasn't freezing. Carefully, Mara shifted a little bit and craned her neck to get a look at her husband.

Luke was still sleeping deeply, as it seemed, lying on his back, his mouth hanging open just a little bit. The heat of the fire had dried the sweat on both their bodies while they had been sleeping and had kept them comfortably warm.
For quite a few moments, Mara lay still, her head nestled on Luke's bare shoulder, listening to his breathing and watching the rain drops that splattered forcefully on the stone floor of their terrace. She didn't think at anything particular, rather tried to go back to a comfortable sleep in her love's embrace, but it eluded her.

Shrugging mentally, she rose slowly, as to not wake Luke, making her way to her bedroom and grasping one of her night-gowns out of the drawer. Flinging it over her head and tying her hair back into a lose ponytail, she stopped by in the kitchen, took her favourite sweets and went back into living room, making not the slightest noise.
Thus, her husband was still oblivious to her absence and having turned onto his stomach, slept peacefully when she snuggled into the sofa and looked down on him, drinking in the picture of his lithe, nude body.

Mara felt like the weight of a whole planet had been lifted from her shoulders, from her heart. Although they had had wonderful weeks of relaxation, during which their bond in the Force and their trust into each other had deepened to an extent neither of them had been able to imagine, the closeness in body had lacked. Extremely.
It had been the last remnant of the trauma Elan and she herself had inflicted upon the Luke and Mara had yearned to make it vanish completely. To vanquish the last shadows of self-doubt and fear that were clouding a small, but vital part of Luke's soul.

She hadn't really planned for it to happen today. Not really. Of course Mara HAD planned the romantic excursion, but nothing more. As much as she had longed to kiss her husband, to make love with him, she had never had in mind to press him.
To have forced him would have meant to aggravate his trauma once again and she wouldn't have been able to bear this guilt.

And now it had happened. Just like this. Without a conscious thought at all. When she had seen him standing before her, drenched to his bones by the rain, his shirt and trousers clinging tightly to his body, she just hadn't been able to NOT make any advances towards him. She had been all the more delighted when he had responded.
For the first time in months Mara had the feeling that Luke really believed in her love for him - for everything he was. Jedi Master, farmboy, man. There was no line between those three parts of his personality, not for Mara. There was no part of him she loved less or more than the other one and she wanted him to know that. To know that she respected him and that her actions were motivated by love, not by pity because of everything he had been true.

And, aside from that, Mara had finally been able to forgive herself. When she had seen Luke loose himself in pure ecstasy and bliss for the first time in over two years, when she had heard his whispered "Thanks" just before he had nodded off - then she had known that the damage she had inflicted upon him had been undone. Finally.
Finally she had succeeded in making him believe in himself again. In the fact that he was worthy to be loved, big time.

And now everything was perfect. Right at the moment, it seemed nothing could be that bad as to spoil Mara's mood. And her husband's uncovered beauty right in front of her was just the little detail that made the whole day up to now perfect.
Relishing the rich taste of the creamy caramel in her mouth, she smirked while she surveyed her love closely. Slender and fine-boned, one really didn't suspect him to be that powerful - at least not without the Force to his aide. There were more than enough thugs in the universe who would testify against that. He had been trained in hand-to-hand combat by the Alliance, but she herself had perfected his skills - at first as a sort of payback for him teaching her how to use the Force. Later, though she had never admitted that to anyone, because she wanted to be near him whenever possible.

He sighed lowly in his sleep and shifted a little to make his head comfortable on his arm. Watching the muscles on his back respond to the movement, she grinned. Indeed, he was far from weak.

"THIS is pretty unfair." The low, slightly sleepy voice startled Mara and almost let her choke on her sweet caramel bonbon. Astonished, she stared into her husband's eyes that regarded her from below.

It took her a couple of seconds, but when she had finally overcome her surprise, she managed to feign a reasonable imitation of innocence. "Why so?"

"I'm not wearing anything and you're hiding everything." He pouted, extending a hand and dragging at her night-gown. "I was cold." She stated, hopping out of his reach, getting him to prop himself up on his elbows and grin at her.
"There would have been other ways to warm yourself up." Luke smirked, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. The implications were obvious, but Mara wouldn't let him have his way that easily.

"I like my way of doing it quite fine." She teased, fishing another sweet out of the small bag she had them in and retreating further down the couch. "Is that so?" he inquired, perching an eyebrow and stretching. The floor was not the most comfortable place to take a nap and he felt reasonably stiff.

"It is. I don't need you to get warm, you know." She stated, being far too proud to let him see how enticing she found what he was just doing.

Luke's smirk became a little broader when he rose, bent over her and snatched a sweet for himself. Chewing and grinning, he made his way over to the small stairway up to the bedroom, towards the fresher. "Well, then I think I'm going to take a bath." And with that he closed the door behind him.

Becoming aware that she had openly stared at the unclothed perfection her husband embodied, front side and back side alike, Mara narrowed her eyes, laughing inwardly. She had wished for their intimate, familiar banter to come back and now that she had what she had wanted, she'd enjoy it. Big time.

Grasping the small bag with the sweets, she followed him, a probably fairly stupid grin of anticipation covering her face when she slowly opened the door to the sanctuary Luke had retreated, too.
The Jedi Master had made himself comfortable in the extensive bath tub and was almost buried under an immense mountain of white foam that smelled faintly of lavender. As soon as Mara had fully opened the door, one of the blue eyes popped open and the object of her fantasies regarded her with open mirth.

"Something wrong, Mara, dear?" he queried, relishing the short expression of disappointment that flickered over his wife's face upon seeing him... or rather, seeing him not.
She scowled openly at him, folding her arms before her chest: "It is amazing how fast you are back to getting me annoyed, Skywalker."

He laughed: "Wasn't that what you missed the most?"

Mara perched an eyebrow, then came over to him, dropped her night-gown and slipped into the water opposite of him. It was steamy hot - just as Luke liked it - and she gasped a little until her body got used to it. Trailing his thighs with her toes, she grinned: "Not exactly, no."

"Then you're definitely too far away from me." He stated, his voice quivering slightly when his feet made contact with her hips. "I could say the same, farmboy." She whispered seductively.
The words had barely left her mouth when Luke dived under and in the next moment, she felt his body press hers down onto the warmed stone of the tub and his lips suck at her earlobe. Lanky and graceful as he was, he had probably had absolutely no problems to shift positions. When his lips finally met hers, this sort of coherent thought left her - for a very long time.

*~~

"I just love that." Luke murmured, his voice reverberating in Mara's head, for she had her ear pressed on his chest. They still were in the bathtub, Mara lying in his arms. The foam had largely vanished, but the water was still hot, Force bless automatic temperature regulators.

"I should hope so." She replied mockingly, planting a soft kiss on his wet, warm skin. He chuckled, averting his gaze that had rested on the ceiling to peer into her jade-green eyes. "That too, of course. But just now I meant the bath."

Mara smiled: "I can imagine this is something unusual for you." Luke nodded, his fingers playing up and down her spine and shoulders, making her shiver comfortably. "That's an understatement. It's still like a miracle. Up to the day where I left Tatooine with Ben, Han and Chewie, I hadn't even seen something like a lake or a river. I couldn't even imagine how it was to swim or to bathe."

His wife frowned suddenly: "That's not the first time you do bathe, is it?" she asked, eyeing him suspiciously. He laughed, clearly amused: "No. If you believe it or not, there ARE things farmboy Luke Skywalker has already done in his life."

"Ah, that's not how I meant it." Mara hurried to assure, but she quickly caught the fact that he wasn't upset with the question. Even considering the fact that he sometimes was fed up that people still believed him to be na?, despite his status as a hero and his age of 44. His still very boyish looks and the absent signs of ageing as in wrinkles or grey hair would ensure this for a couple of years to come, as he suspected. As absurdly as it sounded, sometimes he almost regretted this.

"Don't be ridiculous." His wife chided, poking him gently into the stomach. "No sane person wishes to be OLDER."
"I don't wish to BE older, I just wish to LOOK older." He replied, managing to sound serious. Mara rose a little bit, just enough to look him into the eyes. With as straight a face as she could manage, she said: "Don't make me drown you." He smiled, kissing her softly onto her cheekbone.
"I'm joking, Mar." She grinned and kissed him back, on his temple, letting her tongue linger there for a moment. Mara was rewarded with a delighted shiver that went through his body. "I know, my love."

Settling back into the firm embrace of Luke's muscular arms, Mara closed her eyes and relaxed again. It was in moments like this that she wondered how she had ever deserved such a man. And it was also in moments like this that she decided to don't think about that, but simply enjoy the fact that he was there.

--------------------------------
Chandrila, Week 7, Day 7
--------------------------------

The last bags had been closed away in the storage compartment of the Jade Sabre and R2 was seeing to it that the pre-flight check was done appropriately. Mara sighed, not entirely sure whether she was happy or sad that their holidays were already over.

The past seven weeks had felt like a completely different life - she had actually felt like a totally normal person. No hero, no being of galactic important. Just the woman Mara Jade. She felt a deep peace in her soul - knowing that whatever would await them on Coruscant, their love for each other would be stronger as any possible problem.
No matter what, their bond was more intensive than it had ever been and even now she could feel Luke's powerful presence, bristling like the mid-day sun that stood above the silver waters.

Surveying the cockpit and making sure there was nothing R2 couldn't handle alone for the moment, she patted the little astromech gratefully and made her way over to the bungalow, in search for her husband.

*~~

He had made a last tour around the bungalow. The place where Luke Skywalker had been borne again. Because the man that had set foot on this planet almost two months ago hadn't been Luke Skywalker.
This man had been a mere frightened child, entangled in paralysing memories and unreasonable fears. He had been caught in this labyrinth of nightmares and self-hatred and hadn't found out on his own.

A small smile played around his mouth when he let his gaze sweep over the bedroom in which he had laid bare his soul to Mara - without hiding anything. And after that he had spent some of the most wonderful hours of his life in here. As well as in the bathroom, he added, his smile becoming a partly devilish smirk.

Sighing softly, he turned and went down into the living room, his eyes settling onto the comfortable rug in front of the chimney. The memory of Mara's hot body against his, of her tender seduction, would rest in his heart forever.
Mara Jade, a woman who had always said of herself that she was a most insensitive being, had found all the keys and levers to bring him back.

The last station on his little voyage through the past eight weeks was the terrace. When he gazed out over the silver waves that glittered and his eyes halted at the far-away cliff, behind which their little, secret bay lay, he couldn't help but feel a slight melancholy grasp his heart.

It had been wonderful here. It had felt like the first time in his entire life that he could be just an average man. No politics, no Jedi Order, no Yuuzhan Vong, no nothing. Just Mara and him. Just peace and serenity and luxury and comfort. It was unexpectedly hard to part from here, to go back to a galaxy where, as he knew, more than enough problems awaited him.

Suddenly, while he still was lost in memories of his wonderful diving excursions into the still world of the ocean, he got the feeling of being watched. Not of Mara, for he knew she was busy with preparing the Jade Sabre for the journey back to the galactic centre.
Turning slowly, his suspicion roused, he almost burst out laughing when he saw a small, white animal that sat on one of the chairs, watching him intensively.

"So, what are you thinking about? Taking me for supper?" he chuckled, approaching the little squall carefully. Kneeling down in front of the chair, surprised that the animal didn't flee, Luke wondered whether it was the one he had brought out of their garden at the very first day of their holiday here.

As soon as he extended his left hand, the squall sniffed at it and began to lick his fingers, watching him out of big, trusty black eyes. Luke shook his head, amazed, for it seemed almost as if the little being wanted to say good-bye to him.

The talk he had had with Mara a week ago, about the Jedi's connection to nature, came back to him and he lifted the willing little thing up and placed it in his lap, caressing it behind its floppy ears. "Do you really want to say good-bye to me, little one?"

As if in answer, the squall paused, stared at him, wiggled his bushy tail and resumed licking his hand. Luke grinned, forgetting that Mara probably waited for him, and settled back on the chair.

*~~

That was how his wife found him. Mara felt her jaw almost hit the floor as she caught sight of Luke sitting on the chair with the small, white thing in his lap
He looked totally engrossed, an enchanted smile playing around his lips, while he held the squall protectively to his chest. She could see how he caressed it and hear the faint purring of the little being.

She didn't know why, but this picture of serenity and harmony made her heart almost melt and created a funny feeling in her stomach. For a moment, she felt like she had just had a foreboding of some sort, but it was gone as suddenly as it had appeared and she wasn't in the mood to ponder about it.

Slowly, she went over to her husband and settled down beside him. Mara felt the short startledness and fear exploding from the squall, but Luke's embrace and his low voice soothed it immediately and it decided to ignore her.
Sighing inwardly, wondering why the hell this man always succeeded in throwing her convictions upside down, she murmured: "If you want to, you can keep it."

Luke's head darted upwards and he stared at her in surprise. "What?"

Mara smiled somewhat awkwardly: "Well... I mean, it likes you and you like it, so... If you want to keep it, then do it, for Force's sake."

Her husband continued to stare at her for a couple of moments, then grinned broadly and kissed her on the lips: "Mara, I love you."

She blushed a little, only to gape when he sat the squall back onto the terrace, patted it for a final time and then shooed it away. It wiggled its tail for a last time, then was gone.

"Why... but I thought you would want to keep it!" she finally exclaimed. Luke shook his head, still smiling. "Mara, squalls are no pets. They are wild animals - you can't restrain them. It wouldn't like it on Coruscant."

His wife couldn't help but grin relieved. "Of course I could just buy a little pittin. Leia said they are wonderful creatures and..." "Skywalker, I...!" He giggled and Mara pinched him mercilessly into the shoulder. "Coward." She murmured.

Their hands intertwined, they rose together and cast a last look over the chandrilan sea. She immediately caught his melancholy and softly squeezed his hand. "We can come back another time." Mara whispered. "That would be wonderful." He answered, almost inaudible.

*~~

"R2, everything ready to go?" Mara asked, settling down into the pilot chair and fishing for her security belt.

The little droid peeped in agreement, switching into low hooting to chat a little more with the Jade Sabre's board computer.
Mara grinned and reached for the lever to power up the engines, when she caught up on a sudden explosion of longing behind her.

Perching an eyebrow, wondering what had gotten into her husband, she turned, but found, to her utter amusement, his gaze nailed on the controls of the ship. "Luke?" she queried.

He started, as if caught doing something wrong and stared embarrassed at her. Fidgeting a little nervously, he murmured: "Mara, I wondered... whether you would let me fly her?" Luke was obviously a little unsure, knowing that Mara normally didn't let even him at the controls of the ship, even considering that Luke had built it.

"Um... sure. Why suddenly?" she asked surprised. Luke scratched his head, shrugging a little bashfully: "I just want to see whether I still can do it."

Mara's eyes widened: "Force, why ever should you not be able to?"

He sighed: "Elan..."

"Oh no, what else has this arrogant witch done to you?" she growled, drawing a small smile from her husband.

"I don't know whether she has DONE something... I just suspect she has." Luke said, sounding totally calm while he gently pushed his wife out of the seat and settled down, taking his time to adjust the seat and familiarise himself with the controls.

"And WHAT do you suspect?" queried the anxious voice of his wife. Mara admitted that she was chilled. As she always was when the name Elan was mentioned. Even now she had sometimes a hard time to grasp the extent of damage the Yuuzhan Vong priestess had inflicted upon her husband's mind and to think that, after all this time, he was still somewhat influenced by what had been done to him by the Priestess was horrifying her.

"I suspect she, or rather Kwaad, has blocked my natural talent for piloting because she wanted to keep me from remembering any of the joy I felt while doing it. You understand?"

"All too well." Mara murmured, the chill that run down her spine multiplying. Another essential part of Luke's being the Vong had wanted to alter. The love for flying was a part of him, as much as his desire to be free and the Force.

"She didn't take the love for flying away from me." He said, still sounding calm. More so than Mara felt. "What do you mean by that?" she asked.
Luke didn't look at her and gave no sign of being somehow affected by the talk, but she was sure he WAS somewhat nervous.

"I can remember sitting in the cockpit of Kwaad's small escape craft - as Liin Kwaad, you know. I can remember that I did WANT to fly, desperately, but that I didn't even know what to do. I watched Kwaad perform it, knew that she did some things wrong or not good enough, but I didn't know how to do it differently."

Mara just squeezed his shoulder, her nervousness only vanishing when she watched him steer the ship with a sure hand out of the planet's atmosphere and towards the exit vector towards hyperspace.
She saw a broad smile blossoming on his face, turning him into the most beautiful man she had ever seen and when they had finally cleared the traffic area around the planet, he did some somersaults and evasion manoeuvres and she could almost feel him laughing.

"I think we can rest assured that you haven't lost anything of THAT." She said, not able to keep herself from grinning. Luke winked at her, then sent the Jade Sabre into hyperspace and leant back to enjoy four more days alone with his wife.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coruscant, Four Days Later, The President's Personal Landing Bay
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Could you PLEASE stop pacing, Leia? You're driving me crazy." Han growled, catching his wife by her right arm and drawing her to his side. "Han, it's been more than TWO months!" the beautiful princess exclaimed indignantly, freeing her arm and resuming her pacing.

Han Solo rolled his eyes and turned his hands skyward: "Force help me!"

Leia halted before him, her arms folded before her chest and focused on him with narrowed eyes: "Han Solo, do you honestly want to tell me that you're NOT anxious to see him again! It has been a small eternity since we've last seen him and think about how he was back then!" she almost shouted.

Han smiled broadly: "Darling, believe me, I can't wait to see the kid again. But no matter how much you're pacing here, they aren't going to descend any sooner, so please spare me with it and just stand still."

"Oh well." The Alderaanian princess huffed, finally standing beside her husband, patting her right foot impatiently. Han just shook his head: "I don't believe it. Leia..."

"Hush! There!" she cried, almost jumping up and down with anticipation as the Jade Sabre sank down into the hangar. The landing was perfect and soft, but really daring and Han couldn't help but grin: "Ah, kid at the stick." He murmured.

Leia had already crossed half the distance when the ramp began to lower and a figure rushed out, taking the petite woman into its arms and swinging her around.

All the time on Chandrila, Luke had, as he had to admit, barely thought at Leia, but the past two days, he had hardly been able to keep himself from driving Mara crazy with his nervousness. He longed for his sister, longed to apologise to her for all the worry he had caused her and assuring her that he was fine again.

Now he relished in the feel of her in his arms and felt like one of the last lacking pieces in his soul fell back into place.

*~~

Leia felt like bursting with joy when her brother whirled her around, easily sweeping her off her feet. She laughed freely, not caring if anyone who didn't belong to her family watched and knew she had a broad grin on her face when Luke sat her down and gave her the possibility to take the first real look at him.

And she had to say, she was astounded. He had gained weight again and looked healthy. His skin had back its slight tan and his eyes... she felt herself almost spill over with joy when she saw the glitter in his eyes, the joy and the calm. There was no insecurity, no fear. There wasn't a trace of the small, frightened boy, there was Luke - her strong, wonderful, beloved brother.

"Are you ok?" she whispered, her hands resting on his shoulders, her eyes drinking in every single detail of his face. He gave her a huge, sincere smile and softly kissed her forehead.

"I'm fine, Leia."

Immediately, he felt her brush at his soul, ask for entrance, and Luke willingly allowed it, having the deep desire to free her from all her worries. He could see tears glisten in her eyes as she drew him in for another hug, rubbing his back.

"I'm so happy, Luke. I'm so happy you're ok." She nearly sobbed, trying hard to control her emotions. He smiled, rocking her a little, and replied in a hushed voice: "There's much to talk about, Leia." "Luke, you don't have to if you..." "Hush!" he interrupted her, giving her another smile that made her heart melt. "I do WANT to talk about much with you, Leia. But later."
Leia smiled when she saw her brother's blue eyes wander off towards the figure that stood a little behind and gave him free. Even if her heart desired to keep him in her arms forever like that, happy and safe.

Luke made his way over to Han and for a moment, the two men stood there, a little awkward and eyed each other, smiling. "Hi, Han." Luke finally said, not quite knowing what to say.
He had thought a lot about their relationship on Chandrila. The memories of how Han had cared for him after his nervous breakdown and after that, in the trying time of depression in which Luke hadn't been himself, had touched him deeply.

Han, for his part, just didn't know how to express the awesome joy he felt upon looking at the younger man. Luke looked healthy. And, most important of everything, he looked happy. Distinctly happy and at peace.

When it finally became too still, too embarrassing, both men broke the moment at the same time and embraced each other. It was one of the rare times where they both felt comfortable doing that. All throughout Luke's illness, Han hadn't had any problems with it. Luke had been helpless, alone and lost. He had needed it.

"I'm glad you're ok, little brother." Han said finally, softly, so as that it would rest between the two of them only. Luke smiled, then sought Han's gaze: "Thanks." He just said and almost laughed when he saw how uneasy his friend became at once.

"No big deal. Family does for family, kid." The Corellian said, clapping him on the back friendly. "Yeah," the Jedi nodded, "Family does for family."

*~~

"Thanks for taking care of him."

Mara almost gaped at the words, averting her gaze from the two men that stood together, quietly talking, to focus on the small woman beside her, slender and beautiful in a wine-red gown and flowing, unbound hair.

Two brown eyes stared back at her - so different from Luke's, but yet as expressive as his. "I mean it. When you two went on your holiday, I wasn't sure whether you'd be able to help him." She paused shortly, then continued: "To be honest, I was afraid you'd hurt him more. I was afraid you wouldn't be able to deal with his trauma, with his depression, and make it worse. I was wrong."

"Leia, you don't need...."

"No." The princess interrupted her determinedly. "I'm not saying we're back to pre-Ithor relationship. But I AM saying that I'm grateful that you helped him. And that I know now that you love him as much as he deserves it. I still don't understand why you left at Ithor, but I'm willing to try to understand it. In time."

Mara just nodded, knowing how much this must have cost the proud woman who was that protective of her brother. "Peace?" she asked, as matter-of-factly as she could.

She could have sworn to see a slight smirk on Leia's face as the smaller woman nodded. "Peace."

Together, they went over to Han and Luke to go greet his niece and nephews and celebrate his coming back.

-----------------------------------------------------------
Coruscant, One Day Later, High Security Prison
------------------------------------------------------------

"By the gods, YOU!"

"Yes, ME!" Mara smiled sweetly, staring at the tall alien at the other side of the security barrier who eyed her astonished and kind of shocked.

"You... you are.. alive!" Nom Anor stammered, eyeing her like some lab animal that had suddenly left its cage.

"Indeed, I am. Alive and well. And how are you?" she replied, relaxing on her seat, but watching the Yuuzhan Vong with cold, icy eyes.

Suspicion darkened Anor's gaze. "Why are you here, Jade?" He snarled.

She grinned diabolically: "I am here to see the man who has almost destroyed my life and this of my husband a last time before he will be locked away to never be seen by anyone again."

His eyes narrowed: "Almost? You won't be able to fight against the spores forever. In short a time, you will succumb to them like every other infidel, too."

"Is that what they were? Spores? Interesting. However," she leaned forward, "I'm afraid I have to disappoint you. I'm cured. I will not die - at least not of your petty playthings. And I wanted to tell you that I don't even hate you."

Anor's fury was almost palpable and Mara didn't deny that she relished it - relished it immensely. "This can't be true!" he cried. "This is impossible! You can't get rid of them! You didn't even know what they were. This is not true!"

Mara laughed shortly, hardly, and stood. "You are such a pitiful sight, Nom Anor. I shall never understand how I could ever give you so much power over my happiness and this of the most precious being in my life."

She turned and went for the door, hearing all the way to through the corridor the wailing of the former Yuuzhan Vong Executor. When she stepped out of the prison, she felt that finally, every loose ends were taken care of. She had made peace with this being - she didn't hate him, didn't even despise him. She pitied him. Everything he had left now was the shame of having failed in the very last thing that had still given him hope to have made something important in his life.

He had no power over her anymore. No power over Luke either. And he'd never have again power of any sort.

In the elevator to the upper floors, where her and Luke's apartment was situated, Mara allowed herself a smile. And now she would set the last stone for a new chapter of her life.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Coruscant, Same Day, Skywalker Apartment, 11 PM
------------------------------------------------------------------

When Luke entered his and Mara's apartment, she was standing at the huge window, looking out on the bustling city. In the dark violet, silken night-gown she wore, with her hair falling down onto her shoulders in heave, red curls, she offered a stunning view.

Luke smiled, shedding his cloak and going over to her. "Where have you been? Leia expected you for dinner. Everyone was there. You've been sorely missed."

She chuckled lowly. "Indeed? By whom?"

"Well, by me of course." He grinned, kissing her softly and taking her hands. "Seriously, Mar, where have you been?"

"I was in the High Security Prison." She stated, as non-chalantly as she could.

"What?? Force, Mara, why? What did you want from him?" Luke cried, immediately tightening his hold on her, almost reflexively.

"Make my peace." She just said. For a while, they were both quiet, then Luke asked: "Did you?" She nodded and felt him smile, felt his relief.

"I've got something for you - or rather, for us." She then said, turning in his arms, looking deeply into his azure eyes.
Her memory flicked back to five days ago, when she had found him sitting on the terrace, caring for the little animal. What lay ahead of them would be more serious, indeed, much more serious than a little chandrilan squall. But Luke would give it even more devotion. And now she now what kind of foreboding she had had.

He was curious, that much she saw, and didn't let her face out of his sight.

"Don't read in the eyes. Read in the Force." She whispered, smiling. Luke frowned, but reached out immediately, letting himself be directed by her. When he found what she was keen to show him, she felt his total shock.
Then, before she could say a single word, he pressed her at himself, harder than he had ever done and buried his face at her shoulder, in her hair.

After a moment, he pulled slightly back, looking in her face. His eyes swam with unshed tears, glittering, and he beamed with joy. Mara felt a curious relief flood her soul, though she had never doubted he would be anything else than absolutely overjoyed.

"Since when do you know?" he asked, his voice rough and unsure, as if he had just learned to talk. His hand swept to her abdomen, resting there as lightly as if he feared to break something. "Yesterday." She reached up and stroke his check.

They turned back to the city, looking upwards, where stars and speeder lights shone, trying to outdo each other. "I'm so happy, Mara." His soft voice whispered in her ear. He clutched her still as if he was drowning and Mara enjoyed it. She enjoyed the immense joy that poured off him.

"Me, too. Now we'll just have to make sure that it will be born into a galaxy in peace." She said, stroking the back of his hands that were clasped protectively over her lower body.

He kissed her lightly behind the ear: "We will make it sure. The peace negotiations will continue, everything will go as planned. I will make sure of it. There will be problems, but we will get over them."

Luke lay his cheek at hers and repeated, with a firm voice: "WE will make sure of it."

~~~FINIS~~~

To Be Continued in Part III of the trilogy: "The Birth Of Acceptance"