Innuendo
By Sienn (2003)

Rating: PG-13
Protagonists: Luke/Han (no slash)
Category: Action/Humour

"This doesn't feel right to me." Luke murmured as he approached the seedy looking tavern, keeping pace with Han's even strides.

The "Witless Pirate" was one of countless similar establishments scattered all over Ord Mantell - filled with aliens and humans from every corner of the galaxy on the look-out for some new contract or job. Or simple trouble.

The Corellian treated him with a theatralic sigh: "Where is that optimism of yours when we need it? Chub swore to me that's where we'd find them."

"Yeah." Luke snorted: "After you put a blaster to his head."

"Smuggler language. You wouldn't know about that, kid."

"I know that I have a bad feeling about this. This thing doesn't look like a place Imperials would choose to recruit their staff."

"Perhaps not BEFORE we blew them good above Endor." Han glanced at his younger friend and saw worry lines still etching his features. "Hey, Luke. Just trust me, okay? This is the kind of place I grew up in. If Chub had tried to set me up, I would have noticed. Just relax and try to blend in."

Luke refrained from commenting this and assumed a more passive expression when they entered. The interior of what the locals called the "best inn around" was gloomy and filled with the fumes of various illegal products. If that was the best inn around, Luke really didn't want to see the worst place the area had to offer.

But Han was right. This WAS where he had grown up. It was the Corellian's mission, it was the Corellian's playground..... so he would play by the Corellian's rules. Inconspicuously, he let his hand sink down to his side and brushed his thigh. The contours of his lightsaber were barely distinguishable - and certainly not visible - under his wide poncho. But it was there and Luke felt immediately more at ease.

The nagging feeling at the back of his mind hadn't ceased, though, and he felt like the Force was flashing big red warning signs to him, but he hadn't really expected Han to listen to him.

Luke slid on a chair in front of the counter, next to his friend.

Han flashed a toothy grin to the bar keeper, all arrogance and self-certainty.

"Get me and my buddy two lomin ales, will ya?"

The spindly Devaronian reciprocated the Corellian's grin and set to work. The frown returned to Luke's forehead and he could have sworn Han was battling down one, too. But he wouldn't have been Han if he had admitted that, of course.

"See." Han leant over to the blond Jedi. "We're gonna take a drink and wait for them to come to us. Easiest thing in the universe."

Multiple clicks and shuffles interrupted Han and they both glanced behind them. At least a dozen "customers" had drawn their weapons - a wide variety of vibro blades and tuned blasters were directed at them. Behind a large human man sporting a flechette shooter, a small, green Rybet was animatedly pointing at the Jedi and the former smuggler.

The man turned a little and nodded: "Thanks, Chub. I guess your pitiful excuse of a shop will survive another week."

The diminutive alien seemed extremely relieved, blabbered a few words more and hurried out of the inn as fast as its frog-feet could carry it.

Luke perched an eyebrow at Han: "You were saying?"

The Corellian grimaced: "I should have known I couldn't trust him."

"Ah. Because he's a spice-addicted, egoistic liar?"

Han shook his head, a mock-disappointed expression on his face: "No. But he said he had missed me. That should have tipped me off."

"Cut the chatter, Rebel scum." The tall human interrupted, approaching a couple of steps and pressing his weapon at Han's chest. "We heard you want to disturb our activities here. Our superior was NOT happy about it."

"Oh my. I'm so sorry. Do you think it'd do if we sent him flowers?" Han smiled up at the Imperial, having immediately noticed how Luke's hand had slid down his thigh again. This time, it had grabbed a firm hold of the lightsaber, though, instead of simply checking whether it was still there.

The Imperial laughed in his face, his men chuckling meanly along with him. He turned slightly, no doubt to exchange some more taunts with his buddies, and that was the opening the Jedi needed. The flechette weapon strayed from its aim just enough to bring Han out of harm's way.

Luke activated his lightsaber. The brilliant green blade cut deep into the thigh of the Imperial commander, sending him to the floor with an agonized cry. There was a second of stunned silence, then the air erupted with blaster fire and the hum of vibro blades.

"Get behind me!" the Jedi yelled, not once taking his eyes off of their adversaries.

Han didn't hesitate, quickly grabbed the momentarily forgotten flechette shooter and hurried to relative safety behind the wall of light that was Luke's lightsaber. He picked off a couple of thugs with his blaster, but more kept coming. They soundly blocked the exit and their way to escape.

"Uh, Luke? Could you...."

*~~

The street in front of the "Witless Pirate" was deserted. Most folks had decided for a quick retreat to be as far away from the place as possible as soon as the fight erupted.

Han Solo and Luke Skywalker walked along at a brisk pace, not outright hurrying, but certainly not taking too much time either. The force shove the Jedi had applied had been extraordinary, knocking the Imperials into the wall of the inn a couple of times and leaving them unconscious on the floor, but that wouldn't last all too long.

Better to be far away if they woke up again.

The silence between the two friends was charged and Han had already started to wonder when the younger man would let it out, when Luke huffed. "I just don't know why I always let you do this to me. I mean, I KNEW there was something wrong. I should have let you walk in there alone."

"You just can't bear to lose me, kid. That's it."

Luke sent him a blazing look out of two azure orbs and hurried up the ramp of the Falcon. Han followed him, a big grin on his face.

The recruiting ring of the Imps on Ord Mantell disrupted. No scratch and no injury on any important body part. And another story to tell next time he hung out with the Rogues. Luke would calm down - he always did. He knew Han was right and Han knew that the Jedi loved these little innuendos as much as he did. Life would be so boring if no one ever set you up.

In the end, the Corellian mused, the day hadn't been so bad at all.

~FINIS~