The Letter

Inspired by the song "Radames' Letter" by Elton John and Tim Rice from the
musical "Aida"
by Taramidala

Luke Skywalker was rarely angry. More seldom was he furious. But as he sat
in his cabin, the transport to the most important battle of his life, his
only thoughts were of those bureaucratic bastards who had whisked him away
from his wife just as they were preparing for the birth of their son.
Because of them, he would miss the one event he had most wanted to see.

He felt a presence outside his door, hesitantly preparing to knock. "Come
in, Corran," he said with a fatigued voice.

The other Jedi walked in carefully, not wishing to upset his master further.
"Master, I know you are in turmoil -" he began.

"Sit down, Corran," Luke ordered.

The tone of Luke's voice left no room for argument. Corran sat.

The silence in the room was palpable. Heavy. Luke held his face in his
hands a moment before asking, "What was it like when Valin was born?"

Luke's voice was so soft, Corran barely heard the question. "What was that,
Master?" he asked.

A low, dark chuckle rose, hauntingly unexpected, from his throat. "Please,
at this moment make me human and call me Luke," he said. "I asked you what
it was like for you when Valin was born."

The request made Corran's memory start. Images raced through his mind as he
traced back to the time many years ago when Mirax had given birth. "It was,"
he said. "Without a doubt, the best day of my life. It was a long day.
Hot. Valin was fighting hard against his mother, but Mirax fought him even
harder." He smiled at the memory. "She wanted to kill me," he laughed. "I
didn't say anything - I just held her. But before I knew it we had our
little boy. He was screaming and crying, of course, but it was the most
perfect sound I'd ever heard. And I loved him. I had since the day Mirax
told me, but I knew. I had something tangible. When I held him in my arms,
I could feel him returning my love. There's nothing else like that feeling.
Ever."

Luke smiled grimly. "Thank you, Corran," he murmured.

"No problem," Corran replied. He stared at his friend, the exalted Master so
suddenly human, and could feel his concern. "Hey, Luke, don't worry. Mara's
got Leia and Han by her side. She's going to be fine," he assured.

Luke nodded. "I know."

"But you wish you could be there."

Luke glanced at him sharply. "Of course I wish I could be there!" he
snapped. "And that we had not fought as I was walking out the door. We
didn't even share a proper goodbye," he said sadly.

Corran stared at Luke, completely speechless. Luke was starting to scare
him. "Aah, you'll be back in no time and can smooth things out then," he
said, not totally believing himself.

Another enigmatic smile. "Yes," Luke said distantly. "Corran, thank you for
telling me that personal story. I will send for you if I need to speak with
you before morning," he said.

The authoritative tone was back. "Yes, Master," Corran said. He quickly
rose from his seat and stepped out the door.

When once again alone, Luke's most recent memories of Mara flooded back to
him with a wash of melancholy longing and regret…
=====
"I can't believe this is happening! They don't want our involvement the
whole time, they don't trust us, and now they want you to go to battle? How
many other Jedi are there? Don't they realize that the baby's due any day
now? I can already feel him starting to prepare himself," Mara said.

Luke stood before her, trying desperately to retain some measure of calm,
though inside he was as angry as she was. "Mara, I'm sorry," he said,
knowing full well that no words would placate his lovely-yet-deadly redhead
at this moment. "What more do you want me to say?"

Mara glared at him with emerald ice blades piercing deeply into his heart.
"Well, for starters, you could go tell these bureaucratic bastards that you
have a life and that after over a year of not trusting you, they cannot
expect you to just run off and save their necks. Then you could tell them
that you don't really care that the Vong have come back because you are not
going to miss the birth of our son!" she yelled.

He moved over to her and put his arms around her to comfort both her and
their unborn child. "Mara, I know you are emotional right now, but we both
knew that this was a possibility. There was always a chance that this defeat
wouldn't last," he said softly.

Mara pulled away from him harshly, forcing her husband to stumble backwards.
"A little emotional? Luke Skywalker, don't you dare talk down to me again or
I'll -"

"Or you'll what, Mara?" he asked, his own frustration surfacing.

"Or I'll…Forget it," she said, turning away from him. "Just forget it."

"Mara, what's wrong?" he asked desperately.

"Get out." Her voice was like a harsh winter frost over gentle spring
flowers. "Leave us."

"Mara -"

"Now, dammit!"
=====
How she had dismissed him like that. There had been no "Goodbyes," no "I
love you's." Nothing. Did she know how much he loved her? Did she know how
upset it made him to leave her? Did she know how badly he wanted to be with
her?

Luke entered into a deep meditation. A sudden and strong sense of foreboding
had come over him and it needed urgent attention.

* * * * *

Luke came out of the meditation with a start hours later. His eyes were wide
open and his breath was coming heavily. He jumped off the bunk and sat down
at the small cubicle in the corner. He pulled out a small pad of paper and
started writing.

Mara,
If you've received this…

* * * * *

As Corran opened the door to Luke's cabin once again, the Jedi Master rose to
his feet. "Corran, I want you to listen carefully and take me seriously," he
said. "I have…reason to believe in some visions I've had and I need you to
understand that."

He inhaled and exhaled deeply before continuing. "I want you to get out of
here first thing in the morning. If something should happen to me, I will
need someone to get back home. You came here voluntarily and you must leave
voluntarily. Do not let them stop you.

"This letter is for Mara," he said softly, handing Corran the now folded
piece of paper. "I don't think that needs further explanation. Please keep
an eye on her for me. And my son. I know they'll have Han and Leia but Mara
has always trusted and respected you.

"Lastly, I want to thank you returning. You pulled through the darkness
stronger than I imagined and I'm proud of you. It is because of this that I
now confer on you the level of Jedi Master. Lead and guide the Order well.
I know you will. That is all."

Corran was speechless. This was too much information that he wasn't ready to
hear. Not now. Not like this. "Master, I -" he began.

"Thank you, Corran. I need to prepare for tomorrow," Luke dismissed. "May
the Force be with you, Master Horn."

"And with you, Master Skywalker," Corran replied. Once he had exited Luke's
cabin, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. "May it be with us
all," he murmured.

* * * * *

Mara crumpled up the paper in one hand before unfolding it again. She read
and reread while her tears smudged the ink lettering of Luke's hand. She
finally dropped the letter into her lap and hugged her infant son even
closer. "Oh, Ben," she whispered mournfully. "Your father loved you so
much. And I know he would have been a wonderful father to you." She kissed
his bald head that she knew, in time, would be covered in soft blond hair.
He made a quiet noise and blinked his emerald eyes up at her. Mara smiled.
There was so much of his father in him. He would always be her reminder.
"We'll survive this, Ben," she choked. "We're survivors, your dad and I, and
you've got the best of us both. You've still got me, Ben. And I'm not
letting you go."

She picked up the letter again and scanned her eyes through the blotches,
though by now she knew each word by heart.

Mara,
If you've received this, then something terrible has happened. Please know
that I am looking down on you and Ben right now and loving you. I will
forever. I promise you.

I'm sorry for everything I've said.
And for anything I forgot to say, too.
When things get so complicated
I stumble at best, muddle through.
I wish that our lives could be simple.
I don't want the world, only you.
I wish I could tell you this face to face,
But there's never a time, never the place.
So this letter will have to do.
I love you.

Luke

The baby started to cry again. "Oh, I know," she whispered through fresh
tears. "I miss him, too. I miss him, too."

FIN.