Perchance to Dream: Chapter 1
By Jenn Song and Veronica
Shoutout: Thanks to Denise for betaing despite her finals, and for the support of a few fans...you know who you are :D
Disclaimer: The authors make no profit from this fic. Title from Hamlet, the rest is Star Wars. If we owned it, we wouldn't be writing fanfic.
Rating: G
Warning: Very minor Episode II spoilers. If you haven't read the screenplay or the book, you wouldn't even catch them.
Date: 11 May 2002
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Perchance to Dream: Chapter 1
By Jenn Song and Veronica

The Jade's Fire sped along its course on a return from Wild Space. The passengers on the voyage were not pleased as the ship emerged from hyperspace.

"What an astronomical waste of my time," Mara Jade vented, slamming the palm of her hand on a control panel in aggravation. "Not only does that blasted NRI send us out on a supposedly 'important' mission--which turned out to be a totally unnecessary--No," she stretched out the word, "Just to rub salt in the wound, they had to send us to the most out of the way, unknown system possible in which to do this terribly important nothing."

Luke Skywalker, who sat next to her, rubbed his hand on the back of his neck as he glanced between several computer displays. Shaking his head, he used his other hand to gesture to a displeasing figure. "We've been traveling four days, and only now do we finally get out of Wild Space. This officially puts us in the Outer Rim, which is not a whole lot better. Intelligence sure knows how to pick 'em," Luke said with a quiet snort of agreement. "I suppose from here it would only make sense to hop on the Corellian Run and head back coreward." After his suggestion he looked at the irked captain for confirmation.

"Well, this pointless flying-for-days nonsense has sapped our fuel," Mara pointed out to Luke, who nodded after glancing at the appropriate gauge. "We have to make a stop, and some other supplies would be nice, too. I wouldn't mind stretching my legs after being cooped up in here so long. The only question is where? You know the space around here better than I do. Got any suggestions?"

Luke leaned back in his seat and took a sip from a flask of water. After a few seconds of contemplation he replied, "There are three choices: the closest planet is Ryloth. Tatooine is a little coreward from there," he grinned at Mara, who had pilfered his water to take a drink. "Zhar is spinward of Tatooine, but I don't really see the point in going there. Might as well go to Tatooine where at least one of us knows his way around."

"Home, sweet home, then." Mara said before draining the flask after a long swig, despite jovial protests from her friend. "Get some more of this stuff," she tossed the flask at his head, "we're going to need it."

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"You know, I've never really brought anyone back here before," Luke confessed to the woman walking beside him as they strolled down a dusty street. It was still somewhat early in the morning, so the street bustled with only the town's denizens and farmers who were attempting to get some outdoor work done before the second sun rose.

"You didn't show Leia around before the Battle of Endor?" This surprised Mara, who at that moment noticed a store with supplies they could use. She took hold of Luke's arm and pulled him into it. The Jedi was surprised, and pleased, by the atypical contact. Mara never touched anyone when it was not necessary. With the equivalent of a mental shrug he ducked to avoid bumping his head on the low doorway, and quickly started pulling ration bars off nearby shelves.

"No, we were too busy to sight see at the time. I haven't been back to my area since before Yavin, actually."

Mara looked at him. "Your area? This isn't it? I assumed you picked your old town for this excursion," she winked at him, "I was hoping to dig up some dirty secrets from your past." The trader grinned at the concept; the man hardly had an enigmatic past.

He stared at her a moment, surprised by her wink. Slowly he replied, "I wasn't really from a town. The closest settlement was Anchorhead, but there's nothing there for me. Never had any terribly good friends, other than some of the Darklighters. At any rate, we probably wouldn't find what we needed there. They only have supplies for local farmers because spacers don't frequent the area. No chance of stormtroopers coming upon us," Luke hesitated a moment. "Not that it mattered in the long run," he finally said, quietly, looking at the ground.

"So, what was your motivation for choosing this town?" Mara asked as they paid for their food and toiletries, in an attempt to steer him away from a painful subject. If there was one mystery regarding Luke's past, it was what exactly had happened to his aunt and uncle. He had never admitted how they had died to anyone.

"Well, I do have a connection to it, though I don't know if you'll dig up any horrific scenes from the long-ago. My Aunt Beru came from this settlement, back in the days when she was Beru Whitesun. Some of her family members were around here. None that I particularly want to spend too much time with, but one of them used to own a restaurant nearby. I figured we could stop there for lunch. Think you're up for a meal of real food? Granted, it will probably be womprat steak or something, but it will be real cooking none the less." Deciding to be somewhat daring, he opened the door for her and placed his hand on the small of her back to escort her out. With Jedi perception he sensed her smile, one she thought he would not see.

"Sounds good too me. I didn't realize you still had family out here."

"I don't stay in contact with them. They are somewhat distant relatives of Beru, and as I was never legally adopted, I guess we're not actual family. I don't think that Beru really got along with her family. She started dating Owen and moved in with his mother and father, Shmi and Cliegg, while she was still in her early teens," he looked at Mara and shrugged. "You just don't do that if you're happy with your life. She never spoke of those times much. From what I can gather, Uncle Owen's mom died and she took up the position of woman in the household. She never brought us out here much, so I feel somewhat awkward."

Mara smiled, "From what I hear, meeting family for the first time can be awkward. Beru sounds like a nice person, I'm sure they are, too. Stopping by can't hurt."

Luke exhaled and shook his head in self-amusement. "Tatooinians tend to resent fame and politicians, and since I've come to be around both, I would not be as warmly accepted as you might think," Luke sighed and kicked some sand as they slowly walked down the street. He shielded his eyes with his hand and looked at a dome-shaped building that had just come into view. Pointing, he motioned for Mara to look at it. "That's where the restaurant used to be. For all I know they are no longer there."

Mara could sense that Luke was curious about the place, but felt hesitant to go. Realizing that her chance to learn something about Luke's two "parents" was slipping away, the trader decided she would have to prod him on to get him to enter the restaurant. Pulling him by the arm, she led him to the indicated building.

After a brief hesitation by the door, the pair entered. The transition of bright light to a comparatively dim interior caused Mara to momentarily lose some of her color vision. Her companion seemed to have no such problem, and easily navigated his way down a few stairs and into the main room of the structure. Choosing a booth near the wall from which the entrance and most of the dining area could be observed, he gestured for Mara to sit before taking a seat himself.

They spoke quietly, mostly conversing about humorous occurrences in Luke's past. As their food arrived--delivered by someone not of the Whitesun family, it turned out--Luke was telling her about the time he and a friend were stranded in the desert after a temperamental pet dewback named Huey ran away from them. It was easy to tell that the young Jedi enjoyed recounting such stories to his friend. More than the stories of rebellious pets, the pair enjoyed the shy flirtations. Short glances in each other's eyes seemed frequent, and they were leaning closer together than they normally would. The trader enjoyed the feeling of his breath on her ear as he whispered a secret from his childhood. She did not know what had promted her atypical actions, and wondered at sudden interest Luke seemed to hold in her. When he brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, Mara fought an internal struggle in an attempt to show neither her surprise nor delight.

While telling another story, Luke noticed a middle-aged couple seat themselves at a table in front of him. They looked like farmers who were taking a rare trip into town for equipment and parts. With them was a young child who seemed terribly excited at the chance to be away from home; they had a hard time stopping him from bouncing out of his seat. Memories of similar excursions filled Luke's mind, and for the first time since arriving he felt the pain of missing his aunt and uncle. He had lived a hard life, and Owen had been strict and harsh, but the pain of losing them was still great.

Mara noticed his discomfort, and the sudden darkening of his thoughts. Because of their unusual closeness, she was able to feel the ebb and flow of his emotions more clearly than she would normally have been able to. She reached across the table to hold his hand, stroking her fingers lightly across the top. With this stronger physical contact, Mara realized that she could hazily see the scenes of Luke's past, of which he was currently thinking.

Something about the images seemed wrong to her, but she couldn't place exactly what was causing it. Luke, who had since looked away from the couple and into Mara's eyes, realized what she was doing. "Mara, I really don't think you should do that. It's just the past; it can only hurt you to see it. I've become used to the events of the day my Aunt and Uncle died, but for you it would be different. It would be like a fresh memory to you, one that would gain you nothing and only hurt you." Contrary to his words, the woman could feel turmoil and pain swirling through his mind.

Mara instinctually leaned closer to his face to comfort him, nearly touching her forehead against his. She realized what was wrong at that time, when Luke's words processed in her mind. It would be like a fresh memory to you...yet somehow this memory was anything but fresh. Had her bond with Luke somehow caused memories to transfer between them over the years? It seemed impossible; yet how else could she know the only story he had never shared?

"Mara, please..." Acknowledging that she was intruding, the woman nodded. Luke ran his hand over her cheek before he realized what he was doing. His eyes caught hers, and for a moment neither could say anything. "Don't think that I don't appreciate it, there just isn't any point," Luke finally said.

With a deep breath, Mara stood. "Let's get back to the ship, we're done here." Once in space they usually closed up on themselves, so each would have some time to think about the unusual events of the day. They walked out the door and down the street to the pad where the ship was located. While they were close together, they neither held hands nor spoke.

Arriving at Jade's Fire, Mara keyed in the required codes and the ramp lowered. She walked up it, but realized Luke was no longer with her. Turning around she saw him looking out at the rise of Tatoo II. She leaned against the bulkhead and watched him stand unmoving. Several moments passed before he moved again, bending down to the sand. He seemed to scoop some up and put it in a vial, which was then stashed in one of the numerous pockets within his cloak.

He looked up to see Mara watching him, and smiled guiltily. "I've always wanted to keep some. It's funny how much I hated this planet when I was here, always wanting to leave. Not to say that I would ever wish to live here again, but I still have a strange longing for it sometimes," he looked up into the brightening sky. "Nothing like your own gravity and atmosphere, I guess."

Luke walked up the ramp, and keyed the control to close it before hesitatingly placing his hand upon Mara's arm. "Let's go home."

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As Mara had expected, the first day on the flight to Coruscant was both uneventful and spent mostly in solitude. Like all who had endured the years of constant war, she and Luke had come to always use the time in transit between planets as a period of rest. It was the habit of someone always in the move and in danger. A ship in hyperspace was basically safe, while the military installations were under constant threat. Such ceaseless peril put the most hardened soldiers on the edge at times, so any time spent in the relative security of deep space was welcomed. Years on the run made both of them nearly shutdown automatically once the ship was in hyperspace.

Luke lay in his bunk with his hands folded behind his head. His eyes were closed, however he was merely in a state of deep relaxation instead of sleep. Casual thoughts of Mara Jade drifted through his mind. Their layover on Tatooine had brought about a change in her that Luke did not understand, but the variation was welcomed nonetheless. He had always found her extremely attractive, and enjoyed her touches. He contemplated his predicament of not yet having a family. He really had not dated a woman since Jem, who had died before their relationship had time to blossom. Was it time for him to try it again? Would a relationship with Mara work out? He could not picture her with a family, but he had also never seen her act the way she had the prior day. There was obviously more to her than met the eye.

Luke rolled onto his side and stretched his neck. Finding his thoughts of Mara too much to handle at the moment, he reflected on the other occurrences on their excursion. He had been disappointed, yet relieved, to find that the Whitesun's old place no longer was home to any of them. He really never had been too close with that branch of the family, and did not know how he would have had to act had he run into them. On the other hand, it was his first time on Tatooine without any of his family along. Loneliness tore at him, one that he had not felt in years. Luke thought that he had overcome the feelings of grief for the loss of his aunt and uncle, but really he had never grieved for them at all. Well, now's not the time for it, he thought to himself.

Luke wished that the complex thoughts would leave him so that he could get some rest. Despite the façade of optimism he presented Mara in regards to his return to Coruscant, it was the last thing he wanted to do. Leia had been temperamental lately; Luke swore she was out to make his life a living hell. He considered family to be a group of people with whom he could relax and be himself, but he no longer felt that way around her. She seemed to be forgetting that he was only a Jedi Master in title, and that he was also just a man. He hated being treated like a Jedi everywhere he went, and these days Mara was the only one he could behave naturally around, without thinking about his every move before executing it. The only others he could act like a normal person with were Han and Wedge. They still treated him the same way they always had, since the first day he met them.

Even though tumultuous thoughts seemed to spin through his mind, Luke began to feel exhaustion overcome him. Eyelids grew heavy as he the calmness that comes before slumber settled over him. His anxiety never faded as he finally fell asleep, and his dreams that night were plagued with horrors of his past and worries for his future.

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End Chapter 1.
Shoutout: Thanks to Denise for betaing despite her finals, and for the support of a few fans…you know who you are :D
Disclaimer: The authors make no profit from this fic. Title from Hamlet, the rest is Star Wars. If we owned it, we wouldn't be writing fanfic.
Rating: PG
Note from Jenn: My fault this one took so long to come out, sorry! (Not necessarily true. I took far too long to write this, something called BMG kept pulling me away - Veronica)

Perchance to Dream: Chapter 2
By Jenn Song and Veronica
Space. Dark and empty. The Jade's Fire moved alongside the stars in silent fluidity. Fear, cold and black, rose in the night and prowled the corridors and cabins hunting a co-conspirator. Power was out of reach until one submitted to the tingling fingers and journeyed with the dark emotion hand in hand. Once it happened upon a creature susceptible to its melancholy cry, a heart broken or a mind tormented, then power was limitless. Thus it crept into the Jedi's cabin, stalking its prey with guidance from the Dark. He tossed a crumpled sheet aside, his leg jerked and his voice softly cried. A whimper really, nothing more, but an invitation nonetheless. Slowly, meticulously a soft undulation began to rise and fall, in rhythm with the young man's breath. A gasp, invasion, and it was done. In with the great intake of air and through the streams of the body, the blood carried it on, took its side, aided its cause. The mind opened to a scene, a blaze of color so rich and textured. A woman's smile, emerald eyes dancing, hair swirling around in red, gold curls. It blew across the mind. Its scornful desire and the woman's hair blew in a strong gust of wind. Whirling around her wild and free it reached to the sky and encircled a sun...no two. Yes, his weakness was near. Again it blew a fierce, chilling wind and the beautiful tresses flamed the scene. Flames. Yes, flames were a key. They engulfed an abode made of sand. An ivory hand pushed the flames back from her face and the fire cleared around the home to reveal two bodies charred and burned. A deep moan, a cry, he tossed again and kicked with his leg. Yes, fear was in control now and its power was claiming him. Two emeralds fell beside the bodies and the beautiful face turned to flee. "No!" The sleeping man called after her, but the two suns fell from their perch as he looked on in horror. The flames danced about her fallen body in sick, perverted movements. She was gone, like the two burned bodies.
Cowardly it moved, on an electrical current, easily aided by a strong bond in the Force. Stronger now, empowered by the fear from the man, it slid unnoticed through space. A heavy sigh in restless slumber allowed it entrance yet again. A war zone raged inside the sleeping woman, two camps battling for control. Strength and determination fought against her greatest fears and self-hate. The heart waged its war valiantly, but it would soon control her mind with darkness. Images from his dream flitted behind her closed eyes and a buried secret escaped as the image of flames possessed her subconscious. Flames rose higher and higher and a black cloak billowed from their midst. Two blue eyes bore through the fiery tongues and questioned her, taunted her. Arms extended through the wall of red and gold and draped two figures in the recess of the black fabric. A man, older, worn before his time and a woman with a kind smile stood beside the cloaked figure. A crown of white shone bright above and her eyes squinted to see what radiant glory stood watch over the terrible scene. Hair, blonde and kissed from the sun, tossed in the wind of the flames and covered the head of the cloaked being. A blaster rose in her sights and aimed at the heart of the blonde man.

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"No!" He sat up quickly, dazed and confused as sweat poured from his body. He looked around the room with a nauseas sense of foreboding. Panting heavily he tried to make sense of his environment and his dream. Mara, he couldn't shake the image of her. Smiling, laughing, so beautiful...but then, what had happened then? Owen and Beru! They were there, in Tatooine, gone, burned, like he had originally found them. Then his world had come crashing down when the suns had fallen. He was still dizzy from the terror coursing through his body. Mara had died like Owen and Beru, burned before his eyes. But what did it all mean? Had he been wrong in taking Mara to Tatooine? Had he done something that would cause her harm? Forcing his mind to calm down, he remembered the words of Yoda. The future was always in motion...the future was always in motion.

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"No!" She sat up quickly, fear racking her body with violent blows. She shook in the chill air of the cabin, but she would not reach for comfort...she deserved no comfort. She was not like others in this galaxy, she told herself; she was as dark and demented as her dream had been. Her dream. Luke...and two others. They were familiar to her, but how? Luke. She was aiming at Luke's heart, but no, that could never happen. She could never hurt him. No matter what other, terrible things she had done, she could never hurt Luke. Wiping the perspiration from her brow, she took a cold drink from the cup by her bed and forced herself to face sleep again.

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"Morning." The words croaked out from a tight throat.
"Morning." Came the curt response as Mara headed to the galley in search of the stim caf she craved.
"Sleep well?" He sat alone at the small table and stifled a yawn.
"You always talk this much first thing in the morning?" She growled in reply.
"I was just trying to...."
"Annoy me?"
"Forget it then!" He snapped.
"Fine!"
"Fine!"

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The day continued with brief encounters, sudden flare-ups and avoidance maneuvers. Neither had slept well the previous night, and the images from their dreams continued to haunt them throughout the day. Luke could not shake the sight of Mara lying in a heap of ashes as the flames taunted her gorgeous body. Shaking his head he rubbed the back of his neck and stood to walk to the bridge. There he saw Mara sitting alone in the pilot's seat, legs kicked up on a panel, head resting uncomfortably on her own shoulder. Her breath was steady; he crossed his arms and leaned against the frame enchanted with the scene before him. How could such amazing beauty be found in one woman? Certainly it should take the galaxy to contain such splendor. Sighing, a sad smile touched his lips. He would give anything to hold her, touch her, and know what thoughts churned inside her lovely head. Her chest rose and fell with her breath and he could not resist the urge to move closer to the beauty. Squatting beside the pilot's chair in which she slept, he laid his chin on the armrests. Never before had he been given such a close-up view, such a leisurely view of the trader. Her nose twitched as a strand of her radiant hair teased and tickled it.
The Jedi cocked his head and smiled at the innocent behavior. Her skin was so creamy, he knew that Leia and her friends were always applying facial treatments to get their skin the color and texture that Mara naturally possessed. Her lips, slightly parted, emitted a low moan and he was drawn magnetically to the ruby-colored bows.
Another moan and then a gasp, she was dreaming and the young man found that he longed to share in her dreams. A strangled cry, not a dream at all, he realized...but a nightmare. Her body stiffened, she gasped again as her hand came to brush against her face. Brushing her petal-soft cheek he started to send a comforting wave through the Force, but stopped as he was pulled into the circling energy surrounding her. His mind was assaulted with dark shadowy images, flames licking at a body, and the screams of a woman. Violently she sprang forward, her eyes scanning the immediate vicinity for danger. Luke cautiously laid a hand on her shoulder and she whipped around with eyes cutting and brutal.
"It's just me. Luke. You were having a bad dream." She sat in silence as she took in his words and made sense of the chaos in her mind. "Are you all right, Mara? Can I get you something?" He tried to caress her hair but she swiftly moved from his reach.
"I'm fine, Skywalker." Standing, she moved for the door, but the wide-eyed man blocked the exit. "I don't need any help, I don't need you to get me anything. I just need to get out of here. Okay?" She barked.
"No, it isn't okay! I just want to help."
"I don't need any..."
"Oh, I know! I know! How many times have you told me, Jade? You don't need me! You don't need anyone! You're the great Mara Jade. Invincible!"
"Just let me pass, Skywalker." She tried to move him, but he took her wrist in his strong hand.
"You never asked if I need anything, Mara. You never asked if I needed to be there for you, if I needed to be a friend to you. You're just like Leia! You rule the world you live in and I have nothing to say about it! Well that's just great!" Tossing her hand aside he turned on his heels and made his way to his quarters.
The beautiful redhead stood in shocked silence at the retreating form of the Jedi Master. Something inside her, deep inside where no one had ever been, ached to run after him, to let him in and allow him to be that friend he wanted to be. Clenching her fist, she squelched the traitorous thoughts and stalked to the tiny galley in order to find something to drink. She could never allow him to be that friend to her, the friend who applied his healing balm to all of her wounds. For she had so many wounds and scars that without them she feared she would float away. Her mind started the slow creeping movement, advancing in on her and shutting the rest of the world out. Her thoughts were filled with her unworthiness, her cruelty, and the irredeemable memories that loomed so largely in her soul. She knew that Skywalker could never understand the darkness that constantly surrounded her, and she couldn't afford to let him know how dark things were getting inside her tiny world. Taking her mug of stim caf, she sat and lowered her head in dejection.
"Sorry, farmboy. But this isn't the kind of place you should be allowed in. You're just too innocent and good."

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Luke lay on his bunk, thoughts of Mara Jade occupying his mind. He grumbled and flipped onto his side. Why was she so stubborn? He only wanted to help her, to be her friend. She was so determined to be alone in the world and he didn't know how to combat her defenses. They were too strong.
Running his fingers through his hair he thought of the moments in the cantina. She had allowed him to get close then, very close. He had been able to smell her sweet scent, feel the warmth from her body, see the flecks of light and dark green in her eyes. Force! His heartbeat accelerated just thinking of those moments. When had she started affecting him like this? They had been friends for awhile now, and though he had always thought her beautiful, recently she had started invading his thoughts quite frequently, invading his dreams, his...Wait! Dreams. Her nightmare! Something had been familiar in that darkness, but what? Sitting up he searched his memory of the shared moment and pulled the images to the front of his mind. Shadows, flames, screams. Flames! Her dreams had some of the same images his had the night before. Flames...flames. He concentrated on the vision in his dreams and tried to make sense of it once again. Why was Mara destroyed in the flames of his dream just as his Aunt and Uncle had been? Was she in danger? His heart began to pound loudly in his chest; the thought of anything happening to her caused an instant reaction in the young Jedi.
"Force! What is wrong with me?" He lay back on the bunk, flinging an arm over his face. "I can't put two thoughts together without that woman jumping between them." Letting out a long sigh, he forced himself to relax and take deep breaths. "I bet that's all it is, she's just jumping into my dreams because I can't get my mind off of her. Going to Tatooine brought back the thoughts of Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen...brought back the nightmares. That's all it is. But.....no, no, no, no, no! Mara's only in these damnable nightmares because I can't get my mind off of her. No other reason...she's invading everything."
His mind started to wander and soon he was drifting through images of Mara as he longed to see her. An image of her pouting lips brushing his...a vision of her lying in his arms, sharing his bunk...her arms twined around his body.....her eyes....her hair......her hair floated about him, covered him in its thick blanket as sleep took him deeper into its chamber. The erotic nightmare that played in his mind buried him in its hypnotic lair. He covered her body with his...her body that was left bare to his eager eyes and hands. Urgent kisses claimed them both as he took her over and over again, made her his in every sense of the word. And she was his as she smiled and purred, called his name and whispered her love. But a darkness unseen, from deep inside Mara, started to burn. The black coals were lit, by what he could not tell, but once ignited they started to burn the woman in his arms. She screamed out in agony as the flames tore through her heart and engulfed her creamy, ivory skin in their heat. He cried out to her, panic-stricken with his need to save her, but it was too late as she cried to him one last time, her emerald eyes searching his. Then the flame took her from him forever...and nothing remained. He was alone again, lost.
Jumping from the bed, Luke reached for the image of Mara he had held in his dream. But he was alone in the cabin; she was nowhere to be found. The wild blue eyes scanned the environment, then he stretched out with the Force in search of the woman he needed more than his next breath.
"Please, please be alright." He silently begged. A spark flickered bright and untamed. She was here, alive...with him! Sprinting from his quarters he sped down the cramped corridor and reached the cabin that held her vibrant signature. Keying the pad, a panel swished open and the sight of a sleeping Mara Jade met his hungry eyes. Relief flooded his mind and body and he practically collapsed against the bulkhead. But his relief was short lived as two deep green eyes snapped open and he was caught in the penetrating gaze of the Master Trader.
"Looking for something, Skywalker?"
"Um, actually I was looking for you." He managed, suddenly feeling uncomfortable beneath the watchful eyes of the beautiful woman.
"Do tell." She quipped, rising a few inches from a mat.
"I...I...um...thought you were in trouble...I must have been dreaming." He stammered.
A caustic snort filled the silence between them. "Haven't heard that one in a while. Most men who try to force their way into my bedchambers find themselves on the wrong end of my blaster, Skywalker. Consider yourself lucky." The glint from a blaster caught his eye as Mara returned it to its hiding place beneath her pillow. Swallowing hard, he tried to alleviate her concerns. However, the image of the beautiful woman clad only in a revealing black night shift stopped his mind from functioning correctly and instead he stood in the doorframe staring intently with two large blue eyes. "Anything else you need, Jedi?"
"What?" He voice brought him back to the reality of the situation.
"I asked if you needed anything else, or do you plan on joining me?" She couldn't help teasing the startled young man.
"No! I...no, I wasn't going to...um, I...I should get back to my quarters...probably. No, not probably...def....definitely." Mara smirked at the rattled state of her friend. "I should definitely get back to my quarters. Um, good night, Mara."
"Night, Farmboy," she replied coolly.
Luke made his way back to his quarters and Mara returned to her troubled sleep. Again she was besieged with images from her days with the Emperor. Voices screamed out from scores of victims, faces red with blood zoomed in and out of focus, sounds of blaster fire ricocheted through her mind. Tossing and turning she followed the diabolical melee to its final pattern. White, hot, glaring, scorching. Sand flying, white armor searching, heat scorching her body and mind. A woman's cries...a the protests of a man...an older couple holding one another in desperation. Stormtroopers blasting...fire raging...the screams, the stench, the billowing flames that burned her soul.
Gasping, she threw back the tangled blankets and allowed the cold air to cool her sweating body. Mara Jade sat helplessly alone in her tight quarters, trembling with fear as the sobs began to wrack her diminutive body. Darkness was gaining strength and fear was taking possession of her soul. The many nightmares of her young life were coming back in haunting reality, all except one. One stayed just out of reach and tortured her with its brutality, with its promise of death and loss.
And so the days went for the young Jedi and his beautiful friend. Nightmares of unspeakable dimensions sought them out and played on their frayed nerves. The days were spent in seclusion or frustration, hoping against hope that the time would speed by and free them from the asylum of their minds. Mara sat alone, hours from Coruscant, she had given up sleep the previous night. Her dreams had worsened and she only saw the savage images now, nothing was protected or covered by the poetic fancies her mind had allowed in the beginning. Now she saw burning flesh, skeletons smoking in the sand, eyes boring into hers as she pulled the trigger and witnessed death first hand. The woman's face was burned in her mind, so kind, so afraid, so tender yet contorted in horror.
Running her fingers through her long tresses she released a heavy sigh and continued to sip from her stim caf. Depression and hate were clouding her mind now, hate for she herself and everything she had ever been. Why was this woman's face constantly before her? Who had she been? Why had she killed her? Slamming her fist onto the table she pushed up from her chair and began to pace through the cabin. She had killed many people in her time with the Empire, and many times she never knew the reasons her expertise were being utilized. So it was with the older woman, the older couple to be exact. A groan interrupted her thoughts and her head snapped up attentively. Skywalker again, five times she had heard his moans and five times she had made her way to his quarters to check on him. Stumbling down the corridor, she knew that she did not really hear his moans; she could only sense them through their bond. She approached the back quarters and slid open the door.
"Aunt Beru! Uncle Owen!" He tossed hard and flipped onto his back. "No! No! Noooooo!" His screams penetrated her heart and she ran to his side, immediately laying a hand to his bare shoulder in hopes she could give comfort.
"Luke I'm here. Shhhhh, Luke. It's........." Images flooded her mind as soon as she made contact with the writhing young man. Flames and smoke billowing high, sand...charred skeletons. The sights assaulting him reached out and pulled her in. They were familiar...more than familiar. Shocked, she looked down at the anguished face of the farmboy turned Jedi and wondered what demon was responsible for plaguing him with her murderous dreams.
"Aunt Beru, nooooo!" An image flickered before his mind, then changed to the smoking pile of flesh and bones Mara knew all too well. The woman! It was the woman from her nightmares, from her mind, from her memory.
"Aunt Beru!" As Luke whimpered the words again, the pieces flew together in a maddening dance and truth tore the last thread of hope from the young woman's soul.

<><>><<><>

End Part 2.
Veronica
Jenn Song
Disclaimer: The authors make no profit from this fic. Title from Hamlet, the rest is Star Wars. If we owned it, we wouldn't be writing fanfic.
Rating: G
Archived At: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=882952
Date: Tuesday, August 20, 2002

Perchance to Dream: Chapter 3
By Jenn Song and Veronica

Silence dominated the remainder of the trip to Coruscant. An unusual chill filled the already cool corridors. Luke had felt this mysterious sensation before but couldn't place its origins at the time. However, there was one thing he was certain of; it was circling Mara Jade and clinging to her presence in the Force with tenacity he had never encountered. Fear pervaded his senses. Fear of the unknown; of this wall of darkness that was keeping Mara from him. The nightmares. He knew they had something to do with this, could feel it in his bones. But what was it, what was the key? How could he get the distraught woman on the other side of the door to trust in him, to let him help her? He had felt an agonizingly sharp pain rip through her being the previous night. It had overwhelmed him at first but as he overcame the dizzying effects and frantically tried to reach her, she had slammed down her barriers so tight that he had been knocked into the nearby wall. From that moment on she had only emerged from her cabin to check on the progress of the ship.

Perhaps this was her warped way of flirting, Luke mused trying to lighten his mood. It could be that she always pushed him away so that he would desire her more. After all, the females on the holovid programs always seemed to use such methods to seduce the males. Luke laughed at his own insane attempts to justify her actions, however a nice possibility as it would have been. No, he was quite sure that he had something to do with her pain. Why could she never talk about what bothered her! Finding that banging his head against the wall was preferable to all this thinking, he partook of this action until Artoo rolled toward him to ask if his master was malfunctioning.

"I think that may be the case-," Luke started to reply, but quickly stopped to watch Mara's door slide open at the nearly dangerous speed common to high quality ships. Mara emerged looking more disheveled than Luke could remember having seen her ever before. The air current caused by the closing door only ruffled her hair slightly, as it was atypically knotted and disheveled. Even her clothes, which she usually took meticulous care of, were wrinkled. It looked as if she had slept in them.

She slipped by with her head down, their shoulders brushed as she passed him and hurried in the direction of the cockpit. The movement swept her hair back as the door could not, allowing Luke to see her face. He saw why she had been hiding herself with it; Mara's face was swollen and red. She had been crying, and had probably not slept at all.

"Mara!" Luke called out as he reached an arm in her direction. She avoided it and walked at a faster pace. Luke stood still, distraught in believing that he had caused the stoic Mara Jade to cry. It was a few moments before he realized he was not following her. A quick dash took him to the corridor leading to the cockpit; he arrived just in time to observe the door slide shut. The Jedi bit out a curse, knowing that the cockpit of the <I>Jade's Fire</I> was not one that could be entered if locked.

The Jedi Master dejectedly walked to the ship's lounge, and lay across a row of seats. In the two hours it took to land the ship on Coruscant, Luke was left musing to himself. She had never looked this bad before, and they had not even had a fight. It seemed the woman was actually hurting herself. These actions were only detrimental to her health; Luke had had enough of such treatment over the years.

He cared deeply about Mara, and knew that she had feelings for him. It
had been obvious during the short time spent on his home world. Their flirtations--which had not been so rare over the past few months--had made Luke want to deepen their relationship. He had not realized how much he wanted this until now, but knew that until they sorted out their problems they would be capable of no such change.

He really should just confront Mara, he decided. The thought made him nervous; Luke was a man who avoided confrontations, if possible. He must have deemed this situation worth it, though, for by the time the ship had entered atmosphere, he was determined to make Jade tell him what caused her frequent, hostile actions. If they could be prevented in the future, then Force only knew what turns their relationship could make.

Mara Jade was tired, and felt horrible. Learning that she had murdered the guardians of her best friend the prior evening had not exactly ensured a good night's rest. Guilt had torn her nearly to the point of a nervous breakdown. She could not look at Luke; even sensing him sent her into a near panic. What would she do? She must not let him find out. As forgiving as Luke had been in the past, she knew he would never look at her the same way after learning she had led the mission to destroy his home. That she had killed his aunt and uncle with her own weapon. Mara remembered it so clearly. She had felt no remorse, had not given their deaths a second thought.

She looked down to see that her hands were trembling. Despite
her efforts, she could not stop the quaking. Dizziness began to sweep
through her suddenly, and she had to clutch the side of her seat. It
probably ended after several minutes, but it seemed like hours to Mara. Once
her mind was clear, she managed to put in a call to Coruscant Air Traffic Control.

Running the unsteady fingers through her hair, she growled into her comm unit the information the controllers required to allow the ship to land. With the lack of luck she had had in the past few days, a new controller had received her call. He could find neither a platform on which she could land, nor a superior officer who could do so. Jade was in a state of near-rage.

Slamming her hand on the comm, she deactivated it, thereby canceling her request. She realized then how cold she was. Her chills felt ike the beginning of some kind of fever. Distressed, she did not know what to do. This fact alone rattled her even more; Mara was always in control of events around her. Now she could not handle a simple landing issue! The trader thought she would be sick. Along with another bout of dizziness, an image of the woman she had learned the night before was Luke's aunt swept into her mind. She pushed it away, as she heard her comm unit chime.

Mara activated the comm, hoping to the Force that it was good news. A male voice filled the cockpit. "Are you going to hover up there all day, or would you like to land at some point. I've got a spot in our hanger that's just calling your name." The voice suddenly became higher, in a rather comic falsetto, "Mara, Mara Jade, land on me!" The voice went back to normal. You see? You heard it yourself.

"C'mon down, Mara. Rogue Squadron's platform."

"How'd you know I was up here? You don't have time to look at passing ships all day."

"Actually, Leia is down here. She needs to speak urgently with Luke. I told her that I would flag you down as soon as I saw you enter atmosphere. Not sure what's going on, but you and I both know better than to stand between Luke and his sister when she wants to talk with him." Wedge Antilles chuckled. "Is he there?"

The mention of Skywalker sickened Mara, again. "No, Wedge," she said, trying to hide the quiver in her voice. "He's in back, somewhere. Call him on his private comm unit."

"Ok, Mara. You just get down here, and I'll see you when you land. Antilles out."

Mara sat back in her seat, and heaved a sign of relief. Within minutes she the ship had landed. An alert told her that the ship's ramp had descended, and looking out the window, she watched Luke run across the in the direction of his sister's home. Wondering briefly what that was about, Mara unfastened her harness and performed a final check of the ship's systems before heading out herself.

Feeling an immense relief in the disappearance of Skywalker, she stepped out of her ship into the orange twilight of Coruscant. Jade wanted nothing more than to lay down somewhere and sleep; she still felt awful. Across the hangar, Wedge Antilles threw her a wave before running over to meet her. Coming to a stop before her, he shook her hand and gave her a warm smile. "Nice to see you again, Mara."

"You, too, Wedge," the trader admitted wearily. She noticed him frown as he looked down at their clasped hands. "Everything alright?"

"I should ask you that, Jade. If you'll pardon my bluntness, you don't look so well. You're pale," he looked into her eyes. "You look exhausted. Almost like as if you're in shock. What's going on?"

Attempting to avoid any discussion of the night before, Mara shrugged out of his grip and started to walk away. Wedge followed, watching her closely. "Hey, Mara, I think you should go lay down, or something. Where are you staying? I want to walk you over there. Let me help you out," Wedge rambled, trying to get his friend to focus on his voice. "I can't believe Luke would let you get into such a state, that's not like him."

The young pilot pulled her down so she could sit on a chair by the wall. He poured some water from a nearby jug into a disposable cup and handed it to her to drink. As he watched, Jade quickly drank all the water and tilted her head back to rest against the wall.

"Just let me close my eyes a minute, Wedge. I don't know what's come over me." In moments the trader was asleep, and he was immensely worried. Taking the cup from her hand, he placed it on a nearby chair. He didn't know where Mara lived, and was not sure she needed a trip to the med center. Deciding to take her back to his own apartment, he lifted her in his arms. She was surprisingly light, and out cold. He managed to slip through some corridors he knew would be empty at this hour, and made his way to his apartment. For once he was glad it was near the noisy hanger.

Wedge arrived at his door, and hit the control panel with his head so that he would not have to put Mara down. After a short voice recognition program identified him, he was allowed into his small set of rooms. Careful not to hit her head on any doorways, Wedge walked to his bedroom, and lay her down on the bed. In moments he had removed her shoes, and placed her under the covers. Mara had not showed any signs of waking the entire time. This was so unlike her, she would normally never allow anyone to treat her in such a manner. That he was able to surprised him even more; he and Mara had never been particularly close friends.

Shaking his head, Wedge brushed a stray lock of hair off her face before dimming the lights and leaving the room. Tomorrow he would check on her condition, and take her to the med center if need be. Hopefully she would not require the trip. Wedge doubted she would. He had seen similar cases of shock and exhaustion in his friends many times during the war, and knew from experience that uninterrupted rest usually worked wonders.

The pilot wondered whom he should contact so that there would be no worries over Mara's location. Something made him hesitate and not call Luke, as he had first thought to do. Luke must have known of his friend's condition. Instead Wedge sent a short message to Corran Horn and Talon Karrde, telling them that Mara seemed to be in poor health, and that he was keeping her at his apartment because he did not know the location of her own.

This done, Wedge lay back on the couch in his living room, and fell
asleep.

Luke was irritated that he did not have the chance to speak with the evasive trader, but his sister's call had seemed very important. Wedge Antilles had relayed the message that Luke had to meet Leia quickly, for she had just learned some sort of information that was essential for him to know. Wedge had added his own tip to hurry, as Leia seemed to be very angry at something, though he knew not what.

The Jedi Master sighed. He despised such elusive messages. Though he doubted that it was a big deal-he really just wanted to see Mara and then go to sleep-Luke was afraid to risk missing significant news. Within minutes he found himself before the entrance to his sister's home. The door opened as he arrived, but there were no children there to jump on him. Mildly surprised, he walked in the direction of her office, where she rushed out to meet him.

The president found herself swept into a hug. She kissed her brother's cheek, and thanked him for coming so quickly. "I know you must want to get some rest, but I have some bad news. I thought about letting it wait, and telling you tomorrow. I couldn't, though, I had to tell you right away. I don't know how you'll react to this..."