Here's my new fic.

Disclaimer: the SW universe belongs to George Lucas. I'm not making money of this, I just wanted to play a bit with the characters.

Rating: PG 13

Special thanks to Kathryn, who corrected my grammatical mistakes and suggested some minor changes.

Author's note: I know that you liked In the pink because it was funny. Well, this one will NOT be funny (at least not too much) - from a certain POV it will be kinda dark. (Hey, don't worry, I won't let it be too dark!) I know that you all like Luke the way he is: saintly, humble and honest. I have to warn you that in this story he WON'T be like that. This is a 'what if fic': it shows how Luke's life and behaviour would have - could have - changed if he had... well, you'll see. Please, don't get mad at me for displaying Luke that way. I also like him (love him) very much, and I'd never suppose that he could behave like he will in this fic. I just wondered whether I could write something that shows him in a less appealing way - and I could. Okay, enough of depressing you! On to the show!

T h r o u g h d e s p a i r a n d h o p e by Agi Vega

C h a p t e r 1

setting: right after the end of The Last Command

There was a knock on the door. Luke dropped his datacard that he was reading about the Jedi order in the Old Republic, and stood up. He could tell at once that his visitor was Mara Jade. The ex-imperial assassin's presence was incredibly strong and vibrant in the Force. Luke opened the door to see the red-head leaning to the door-post.

"Hi, Mara, come in."

The girl stepped into the room without a single word and started to size up Luke's apartment.

"Hm, this is big enough to be a senate chamber." she said finally. "Aren't you afraid to live here alone? Your wardrobe alone is huge enough to hide a whole squadron of stormtroopers and half a star destroyer. Sometimes you should check it for unwanted visitors, like say, a bantha."

"It wasn't me who requested such a big apartment, you know." Luke answered with a hint of amusement. This woman always knew how to make one lose one's temper. But with him, she wouldn't succeed.

"May I have a seat?" she asked.

"Sure, make yourself comfortable." Luke motioned her to sit down on the couch. He took place in an armchair. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

Mara shrugged. "I just wanted to thank you once more, I guess."

"Thank? For what?"

"For you patience, your trust, your friendship... and for the lightsaber, of course." she answered patting the Jedi weapon hanging on her hip.

"You don't need to thank for these things, Mara." Luke replied gently. "You deserved all of them."

They sat silently for a minute or two, gazing on the carpet, not wanting to look at each other's face. Suddenly there was a beeping sound that brought them both back to reality.

"What was that?" Mara asked.

"Oh, just the caf-machine."

"You like caf?"

"Nope, I just use the machine to make hot chocolate. It's ready now. Would you like to have some?"

"Why not?" she shrugged.

A minute later Luke came back to the living room with two mugs of steaming hot chocolate. He handed one to Mara and sat down.

"Hm, not bad." she commented savoring the delicious liquid.

"Lando's recipe." Luke answered drinking his own.

"You could give me the reci..." Mara started, when suddenly the lights went out. "What the hell?"

"Oh, don't worry, it happens frequently around here nowadays. The light-system is being repaired. Let's go out onto the balcony, shall we? There's some light that the moons give."

"Okay." Mara replied and they both stepped out to the small terrace. The woman leaned on the banister, her eyes distant, her mind lost somewhere beyond the spires and skycrapers of Coruscant.

"Mara?" Luke broke the silence. "Where are you? You are so far away."

"Oh, no, I was just enthralled by the beauty of this city, I guess." the woman tried to explain her lapse of attention.

"Yep, the view is really nice." Luke agreed.

"What do you like the most in Coruscant?" Mara asked.

"Good question... well, maybe the Manari mountains."

"Why?"

"Because they aren't made of steel and glass. They are natural and teeming with the Force. You know, every blade of grass, every leaf on the bushes, every little insect contribute to the wholeness of the Force."

"I see. That means that you'd rather live in a forest than here, right?"

"Anywhere, where I can breath fresh air and wake up to hear to birds sing."

"So Tatooine is out of the question, right? As far as I know, there are no birds at all."

"No, there aren't any." Luke replied. "Oh, the lights are back. We can go in."

"I was just about to leave, Skywalker." Mara told him. "It was nice to chat with you, however. And I liked the drink."

"You are welcome. I'll always have a mug of hot chocolate for you, whenever you visit me." he said and stepped into the room. When Mara wanted to follow him, the lights went out again, and she tripped over the threshold. Luke caught her to prevent her from falling. He held her tightly, embracing her slender body. They stood there in each other's arms for a couple of seconds, their noses almost touching. Surprisingly it was Luke who first drew back, a bit embarassed. "Hey, next time watch out for the threshold, it's a bit high."

"Sure." she nodded, still enchanted by the feeling of his strong arms around her. "Um, I guess I'd better be going before I break my leg or something like that."

"Then good night, Mara." Luke replied and saw her out to the door. Mara slipped her hand on the handle and wanted to open it, but abruptly a voice in her mind spoke up:///// "Turn back, girl, and kiss him!"///// She obeyed the voice, believing it to be the will of her own heart. Maybe it really was. /////"Good, good, good! Just carry on like this!"/////

"Mmmm... Mara..." was all that Luke could mutter before being silenced by another fervent kiss. He succumbed to her warm lips and demanding tongue darting into his mouth. He let her take him over. Suddenly he stiffened as he felt her nimble fingers pulling down the zipper on his shirt. He caught her hand, denying her the chance to continue what she began. "Mara, I don't think that it would be appropriate to..." she closed his mouth with a new kiss, and pressed her body to his. The feeling of Mara's hips clinging to his groin made certain parts of his body harden. The scariest for him was the fact that he couldn't control his body anymore.

"Where's the bedroom?" Mara asked in a husky tone.

"That way..." Luke moaned and let the woman grab his hand and drag him into his bedroom. As soon as Mara started to pull his tunic over his head, Luke realised what really was about to happen.

"Mara, wait!" he drew back. "I'm not sure that we should..."

"Why not?" she asked with lust-filled jade eyes.

"Because... I... don't..." he stammered.

"Because you don't know what to do, right?" she asked.

He blushed. "You'd better go... really..." he started, hoping to escape from this embarassing situation.

"Hey, farmboy, you don't have to feel ashamed." Mara whispered gently stroking his chin. "Everyone used to be a virgin, sometime... me too... thought I don't remember it..." she snickered.

"Are you sure that you want this?" he asked. "I fear I'd just disappoint you."

"You won't." she assured him. "Help me undress, will you?"

He nodded clumsily and started to unzip her flightsuit, his hands trembling with every move. She encouraged him by resuming her kisses and caresses. Soon she stood before him wearing nothing but her silk panties.

"Oh, Mara... you are so beautiful!" he sighed.

"You are not bad yourself, farmboy." she commented, planting small kisses on his bare, muscular chest, slowly going downward. Finally she knelt before him and removed his boots and socks. As she started to unbutton his trousers, the feather-light touch of her hands made him groan with desire. No sooner had he stepped out of his trousers than she slipped one hand into his boxers and began to caress him, marveling at his lenghts. "You really are not bad..." she repeated with a huge smile and relieved him of his boxers. Then she stood up and walked over to the bed, sitting down and stretching her hands out for Luke. The man akwardly lay down next to her, his sapphire glance diving deeply into her emerald eyes. "I want you so badly, Mara..." he whispered, his voice trembling.

"Then take me."

Luke didn't need to be told twice. He didn't exactly know what to do, but letting his instincts take over he found it out easily. After a wondrous hour of passion, they fell asleep, incredibly satisfied, in each other's arms.

**********************************************************

/////"We did a great job, guys. Perfect match." an ethereal voice stated.

"Uh-huh." another agreed.

"Sure it is. But when will they also realise it?"/////

***********************************************************

As the first rays of the sun appeared on the horizon, Mara opened her eyes only to see that she wasn't alone in her bed. Hey, that wasn't even her bed! It was pretty strange for her to wake up in a man's arms. It's been ages since she had slept with a man, and every time she had done it, she was awoken to be left alone. All the guys did that to her: they had her, then sneaked out of the room in the middle of the night. But not Luke. Well, of course, why would he leave his own apartment?

She started to examine his peaceful face. He looked so young, so innocent, so cute while sleeping. Not that he wasn't handsome when awake, but this was a special view that she barely had seen a couple of times before: only on Myrkr and on Wayland. He really looked so innocent... who would think of the galaxy's only Jedi Knight that he wasn't that innocent at all? After all that he had done to her last night, she couldn't look at him the same way she had used to. Last night he proved to be a man. Not some heavenly creature with no needs and desires, but a flesh and blood man, who made her experience such a level of joy that she had never felt with anyone else before.

*Sith, Jade! What are you thinking? This is Skywalker! Holy Jedi Knight! He would never feel anything for you... you are an ex-imperial bitch... you are not worthy of his love! You mustn't develop any feelings for him, or you are lost! You are...*

Mara's comlink suddenly beeped and woke Luke up.

"This is Jade." Mara answered. "Karrde? What's up?... To the rim worlds? Right now?... Okay, I'll be there in half an hour. Jade out."

"Are you leaving?" Luke asked. He was pretty disappointed since he expected some lovemaking in the morning as well.

"Yeah, Karrde and the smugglers are going to the rim worlds and they need me."

"When will you be back?" he hoped her answer to be 'soon'.

"No idea. I'm not sure if I'll be back at all. Who knows what the future has in store for me."

"But Mara, after this night, I thought..."

"You are insatiable, as it seems, farmboy. That's a bad trait."

"But when will I see you again? I'll miss you so much!"

"Me or my body?" the woman asked while pulling on her flightsuit. "Because if you want sex, you don't need me. You can have anyone you want."

"But I want only you, Mara". Luke sat up and grabbed her hand. "I need you." Mara diverted her eyes to avoid his pleading look. She knew that if she succumbed to him now, she'd never be able to leave again.

"No, Skywalker, you don't need me. You need a woman to warm your bed, that's all. Go and search for one. I'm sure that any woman would be jumping for joy if they could sleep with the esteemed Jedi Knight. And you could make any woman satisfied, you know. You are talented and inventive. You showed me last night. I didn't even need to teach you."

"But I don't want anyone else, can't you understand that?" he continued hoping to be able to persuade her.

"No, I can't. Now let me go. Listen: I might be back sometime. I don't know. But until then, you just practice, okay? And don't feel qualms of conscience, because I'll also sleep with others. I always do." she slipped into her boots and turned her back on Luke.

"Wait, Mara!" he shouted after her. She turned around.

"Now what? Be short, I don't have all day!"

"I'll be short, Mara. I just wanted to tell you that I love you. That's all." Luke muttered.

"You just think that you do. But believe me: you don't. Bye."

As the door slammed shut, Luke leaned back into the pillows, tears brimming his eyes. "I want no one else, Mara." he whispered.

tbc...

Here's the second installment.

Disclaimer: see chapter 1 Rating: PG-13

T h r o u g h d e s p a i r a n d h o p e by Agi Vega

Chapter 2

six months later

As the days turned weeks, and the weeks turned months, Luke started to lose hope of ever seeing Mara again. He tried to conceal his grief from his family, but it wasn't that easy, especially with a Force-strong twin around. Leia knew that her brother hid something from her, but she didn't want to interrogate him. He'd tell her when he felt ready to. But he wasn't ready yet. She didn't want to press him, especially not tonight.

This evening was the celebration of Liberty Day in the whole galaxy. There was a big reception for the dignitaries of the NR in the Imperial Palace of Coruscant. Leia dressed in a beautiful purple dress and put some Alderaanian jewels on. Han - thought somewhat unwillingly - put a suit on. Winter was also invited, so Leia hired a babysitter to take care of the twins. Threepio was pretty excited about the reception. He had always been glad to have the opportunity to use his knowledge of over 6 million communication forms.

As the ball started, Leia, Mon Mothma and Admiral Ackbar stood at the door to greet the guests. Luke and Han stayed in the background, drinking some Corellian brandy. Luke suddenly stiffened when he saw Talon Karrde enter the hall. He fervently hoped that Mara came with Karrde. But obviously the leader of the Smuggler's Alliance came alone. Talon kissed Leia's and Mon Mothma's hand, then greeted Ackbar with a nod. When all the guests arrived, Mon Mothma made a beautiful speech about freedom. Luke saw that Leia barely could retain her tears. Han embraced his wife, knowing what achieving freedom meant to her: having lost her home planet, her parents, her friends... Han wanted to cheer her up, so he asked her for a dance. Soon the dance floor was full of swaying people, happy couples. Luke watched his sister laugh as Han made her twirl around him. They really were enjoying themselves. Luke let out a deep sigh and decided to talk to Karrde. The smuggler leader was engrossed in a talk with Lando and Wedge.

"Karrde, would you have a couple of minutes for me?" Luke asked him.

"Of course, Skywalker. Let's go somewhere less noisy."

They walked out to the terrace, and Luke suddenly remembered that night when he and Mara saw the same scenery.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Karrde asked.

"I... I just wanted to ask you why Mara hasn't come. I kind of expected her to be here." Luke knew that he sounded pretty dumb, but he didn't care. "I haven't seen her in six months... and want to know how she is."

"Oh, she's fine. She asked me for a holiday, that's why she isn't with me now."

"Do you know where she is? I should speak with her... um, about her training. I think she shouldn't neglect it."

'I'd tell you, if I knew it, really. But I have no idea. She just came to me two months ago and asked for a half-year long holiday."

"Half a year? Isn't that a bit too long?" Luke wondered. *Oh, she must need that time to satisfy her sexual needs with any guy she meets. That bitch. If only I didn't love her so much!*

"I asked her the same, but she told me that she badly needed a long rest. I just couldn't deny it from her. I never can deny anything from that woman!"

*Sure, you cannot deny anything... then you are also one of her lovers, aren't you?* "I see." Luke answered. "Well, should you see her, tell her that I'd like to talk to her, okay?"

"Okay, I'll tell her."

They both went back into the ballroom. Karrde resumed his chat with Lando and Wedge, while Luke sat down on a chair in a less noisy corner of the room and tried not to think of Mara.

"Hey, you okay?" a female voice asked him. He looked up to see Winter standing next to him. She was fascinating in her white gown with pearls glistening in her long, white hair. Luke had never regarded her as attractive before, but this time he had to admit that she looked great.

"Yeah, I'm fine." he answered. Winter sat down on an other chair and took his left hand into hers. "You don't look like someone who is fine. Leia also told me that something was bothering you. And it started long ago... maybe about half a year ago. You always look so sad, so immersed in your thoughts... you never used to be like that. What happened to you? Can I help you somehow?" she stroked his hand with her nice, little one.

*You need a woman to warm your bed, that's all. Go and search for one. I'm sure that any woman would be jumping for joy if they could sleep with the esteemed Jedi Knight. And you could make any woman satisfied, you know. You are talented and inventive. You showed me last night.* Mara's words echoed in Luke's mind. *She advised me to sleep with women to forget her. Hey, why not? Eventually she left me, she doesn't love me, then... why wait for her? I can have anyone I want.*

"Yeah, you could help me." he stated with a sudden determination. "Sleep with me."

"What?" the woman asked with incredulous voice. "What did you say?"

"I said you could help me if you slept with me."

********************************************************

Winter's suite, the same night

"Why do you leave so soon? It's only 03:00!"

"Sorry, Winter, I have to go." Luke said and pulled his pants on.

"Did I manage to help you?" the woman asked stifling a yawn.

"Um, for the moment, yes, I guess." he replied gathering all his belongings.

"It helped, but you don't want to stay, right? It meant nothing to you, did it?"

Luke sighed. He didn't want to hurt the woman's feelings, but he knew that he had already done that. "No, it didn't. Sorry." he said and rushed out of Winter's apartment as if he had been a coward, a thief... yes, he was. He was coward to accept that Mara didn't love him. And yes, he was a thief - he stole Winter's innocence. Sithspit, he was her first, and he treated her like a mangy dog! He felt it wasn't worth living. He had no right to do that to such a caring, good friend! *What a bastard are you, Skywalker? How could you do that?*

He was totally out of his mind. He raced up to the palace roof, where he had given Mara his father's lightsaber six months earlier. The city seemed to be in peace. That itself was a strange and unaccustomed thing. Everything was silent, everything was sad and lifeless. As if the whole city had known what he had done to poor Winter... He felt so unclean, so digusting... he squeezed his eyes shut and stepped up to the railing of the terrace. Under his legs there was nothing but infinite emptiness. He raised his left leg to step into the depth when suddenly heared a voice in his head: ////*Luke, noooooo!*//// "What?" he shouted and lost his balance. He fell back to the pavement of the terrace and hit his head. He lost his consciousness.

*******************************************************

////"Thank the Force, we could prevent it!" an ethereal voice sighed with relief.

"Yeah, for the moment, Obi-Wan. But reckless this boy is! Who knows, next time might we not be able to save his sorry butt.?"

"He takes too much after me, doesn't he?" another voice asked.

"He does." Obi-Wan and Yoda replied in unison.

"We have to help my son somehow, guys." Anakin Skywalker said flinging his legs from the cloud he was sitting on. "Any idea how we should proceed?"

"First of all, stop that, Anakin. A good padawan doesn't act like a child." Ben scolded his friend.

"I'm no padawan anymore, Obi-Wan!" Anakin replied. "Am I right, Yoda?"

"Matter it does not." the little green spirit said stretching on his big, soft, pink cloud.

"Hey, that's not fair! He is so little and has such a big cloud, while mine is too short for me to stretch out!" Anakin said enviously.

"Now you see, that's why Luke takes so much after you, Annie!" Ben commented. "He is just as childish as you are! He wanted to commit suicide!"

"We prevented it this time, but we have to see to it that he doesn't try it again, boys! His time hasn't come yet!" said Anakin.

"No, has it not come." Yoda shook his head. "Not yet. Many things he has to do. But we can do nothing. Persuade we could Jade to sleep with him, and save his life we could, but that's all. Interfere more than that we cannot. Dead we are, you know."

"Then what should we do? Just sit and watch?" Ben asked.

"What else?"////

************************************************************

Three weeks later

Tatooine. The only place where he was sure that he'd not meet anyone who could hurt him. (Apart from the Tuskens, of course.) His betrayal of his friendship with Winter still made him suffer. He wanted to hide from Winter, from his sister, from Han, from the whole universe. After having woken up in a medcenter, he realised what he had done, and he felt totally and hopelessly ashamed. The feeling of guilt tore at his heart, didn't leave him in peace for a single moment, the self-accusation tortured him to such an extent that he feared he would go mad. So he decided to go into hiding, and none other planet in the whole universe seemed to be more appropriate for this purpose than Tatooine.

He had been living on his home planet for more than a week now. Uncle Owen's homestead still stood where it used to be 9 years earlier. The dunes had blockaded it as if to save it for Luke. When he entered the Lars homestead, he felt as if he could still feel his foster parents' presence. He sat down at the table, put his head on his arms and lost himself in reveries of his childhood.

*You are not going to the Academy this year!*

*You mustn't use your skyhopper this season anymore!*

*You mustn't go to Toche station to fool around with your friends, you have work to do!*

Suddenly he came out of his reveries. A vehicle's noise disturbed the silence of the desert. He kind of expected to see his uncle get out of the landspeeder and tell him off for something. Strange, when he was a little boy, he used to be told off for mere nothings, but now, when he really deserved to be scolded, no one told him that he was this and that. Eventually he became curious and wanted to know who came in that vehicle. He left the house and was surprised to see a female figure approaching the little building.

"Camie!" he shouted.

"Wormie! What are ya doing here?" the girl greeted him with a big hug. "I though you became so famous that you decided never to come back here!"

"I really didn't want to come back, but... I don't wanna talk about it. Is it okay, Camie?"

"Sure, Wormie! Nice to see ya! You haven't changed a bit! You know, Jedi or not, you still look like that young boy who left us nine years ago!"

"Really? Um, tell me about yourself, what happened to you during this time?"

"What? I married Fixer, that's what happened."

"Congratulations. I hope you are very happy together."

"Happy? With that big heap of bantha poodoo? No, Luke, I'm not happy. That's why I'm here. You know, sometimes I just have to sit into my landspeeder and leave the hubby behind when he gets too annoying."

"Then he must have been pretty annoying today, I presume?"

"Sure, sure. I lost my temper and almost killed that guy! But eventually I chose only to get far away from him."

"Far away? This house isn't that far away from Anchorhead." Luke said.

"I know. Coruscant is much farther, isn't it? Do you live there?"

"Um, yes. But I don't really like it. It's way too unnatural."

"So that's why you came back to the good old desert?"

"Nope, that's something else."

"Love problems, maybe?" Camie asked with an impish grin.

"Why should I deny it?" Luke shrugged. "You have the same problems. If no one else, then maybe you could understand me."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Would you care to listen?"

"Yeah. We are friends, aren't we, Wormie?" Camie said and hugged him again, suddenly feeling ashamed of having treated Luke so badly when they were children. But hey, who the hell knew at that time that 'Wormie' was going to be an intergalactic hero?

"Then come in, and I'll tell you my story." Luke replied, hoping that sharing his secrets and sorrows with someone would help him get over the conflict raging in his soul.

"Okay, but from the beginning! I want to know everything about the great Jedi!"

"Great? I'm not great at all, Camie. I betrayed everything I used to believe in."

"Uh, that sounds pretty depressing. Get it off your chest, it will help!" she said.

********************************************************

"So you almost killed yourself... whew, Wormie, that's too bad! The galaxy needs you, you shouldn't think of suicide!"

"I'm not thinking of that anymore. I guess I'm too coward to kill myself." he said with a deep sigh.

"I wish I could help you..." Camie kissed his cheek to comfort him. "Can I stay here for the night? I don't wanna go back to Fixer."

"Um, sure. You can have Aunt Beru's room, okay?"

********************************************************

He dreamed about Mara again. She was all over him, kissing and stroking every little part of his body, driving him crazy with ecstasy. Luke awoke with a start, covered with sweat. *Why are you torturing me, Jade? Why?* he asked himself.

"Luke, are you okay?" Camie asked as she entered Luke's room.

"Um, yes, why?"

"You made such strange sounds... I thought you weren't all right."

"Just a nightmare. Don't worry, Camie."

"Let me worry about you, Wormie." she said and sat down on his bed. "Oh, my, your shirt is soaking wet! You have to get rid of it, or you'll catch a cold! Hey, let me help you..."

"It isn't necessary, Camie, go back to sleep, okay?..." he started but the woman gave him a look of disapproval. "Now, get out of this shirt, will ya?"

"Yes, mylady, as you wish" Luke tried to joke. No sooner had he removed his shirt then she climbed upon him, kissing him fervently.

"Cam...ummmm..."

"Shut up, Wormie!" she yelled caressing him through his pants.

*A Jedi feels no passion... nooo passion...NO passion!!!* Luke recited in himself, but when Camie dropped her dress to the ground and he got a glimpse of her rich bosom, he couldn't contain his desire anymore. *Sithspawn, these damned Jedi Codes never work out!* Well, at least not that night.

When he awoke in the morning, Luke didn't find Camie beside him. She was gone. *What the hell have you done again, Skywalker? And for how many times?* Luke sighed.

******************************************************

////"Reckless, told you. Even dared to despise our precious Jedi Code! Speechless, I am, boys!" Yoda pouted. "When he will come to years of discretion?"

"I fear, never." Ben added.

"He will. Sometime he surely will. But at least we know that my son is good in bed. He must have taken after me." Anakin declared with a proud smirk. "Well, I mean... Padme used to tell me that I was good..."

"Anakin, we are not discussing your sexual life." Ben scolded Sr. Skywalker.

"Okay, I know, I know." Anakin replied. "I think that my son just has to meet that red-head again, and everything will be settled."

"Do you think it will help?" Ben frowned.

"See it we will." Yoda said with not much hope in his voice.////

tbc

Here's the third installment. This is kind of a 'bridge-chapter', so don't expect great actions. (I'm not too good at things like that, anyway.) I know that almost no one in this group likes Callista - I don't either, but I HAD TO give her a small role, so don't get mad at me, okay?

Disclaimer: see chapter 1 + this chapter contains material from Stackpole's book 'I, Jedi'. I only borrowed and re-wrote a small dialogue. Rating: PG

T h r o u g h d e s p a i r a n d h o p e by Agi Vega

C h a p t e r 3

one and a half year later

Luke thought that his heart would leap out of his chest. Mara was coming to see him! Okay, she said that she only wanted to be trained, but who knows... the events might get another turn, can't they? A couple of minutes later she was there, wearing a silver flightsuit, holding her helm in her left hand. She was as pretty as a picture. "Welcome, Mara." Luke gently hugged her, than turned around to present her to the other students. "This is Mara Jade. She has come here to learn the ways of the Jedi."

**********************************************************

Though Mara had spent already four days the academy, she just didn't show any interest in Luke. The Jedi Master decided not to press her. If she needed time, he would give her. The next day Kyp suddenly left Yavin 4 in Mara's Headhunter. The woman was cursing. She didn't want to be stuck here. "He stole my ship! We've got to go after him!"

"We cannot." Luke replied.

"What do you mean?" she asked impatiently.

"We have no ships."

"No ships?"

"This is a school for Jedi, not pilots."

"Sure it is." Mara fumed and hurried away.

Luke ran after her. Maybe this was not the most appropriate time to talk to her about their relationship - if it could be called one at all - but he couldn't wait any longer. In the heavens Yoda shook his head disapprovingly. ////*This boy has no patience.*////

"Mara? Could we talk, please?" Luke asked her, and before she could answer, he sat down under the tree, beside her.

"What do you want to talk about, Skywalker?"

"About us."

"Us? There's no 'us'." she replied indignantly.

"Did it mean so little to you?" he started to lose hope.

"It meant nothing to me, farmboy. Nothing." she stood up.

Luke followed suit and grabbed her arm. "Mara... you said you might come back. But you never did..."

"Might means maybe. And I chose not to come back. I had things to do. But I heared that you were doing interesting things, like turning to the Dark Side... you really lost you innocence, huh?"

"Innocence is a state of mind, and I lost it when I slept with you, Jade. I mean not physically, but mentally... you managed to kill me, in a way... you killed the honest man I was and turned me into a despicable bastard... You ruined my life."

"Poor Master Skywalker! How sorry I am for you!" she laughed maliciously.

"Go away, Jade!" Luke shouted, suddenly losing his self-control. "Get out of my sight!"

"Go away? How, if I may ask? I have no ship."

A day later Mara left Yavin 4 in the Millenium Falcon. She walked out of Luke's life again. And now, Luke feared, forever.

**********************************************************

A couple of days later

Exar Kun's spirit took over Kyp's body and made him do terrible things, like destroying a whole star-system with the Sun Crusher. The galaxy was again in a turmoil, and Luke Skywalker wasn't there to help. He was lying in a coma at the Academy.

As Mara entered the Academy's big chamber, her heart started to beat quicker. There he was, lying on a bier, as pale as a dead man. His brown robes were draped around him, and two candles were lit on either side of the bier. Mara touched Luke's left hand, only to realise how ice-cold it was. As if he really had been dead. He had a pulse, but it was very weak. The candles made his blond hair shine in a mysterious glow, as if a halo had encircled his head. His features were extremely peaceful, and now he looked even more boyish than two years earlier. Mara felt a barely resistable need to kiss his lips, but she knew that they would be just as cold as his hand. *Holy stars, how much I love you!* she sighed. *But I cannot stay. We cannot be a couple, Luke, we are too different. I don't deserve you, and you could never understand me... I just hope that the Force will help you get better. It must. Take care, my love.*

********************************************************

////"Tsk, tsk, no good." Yoda shook his head. "This woman has no courage. Luke has no patience. This way will they never get together."

"Shall we bet?" Anakin asked.

"Bet? In what?"

"Well, let's see. If you win and they don't get together, I will make your breakfast for a whole heavenly year. But if I win... you'll give me your cloud. It's much bigger than mine. Is it a deal?"

"Deal." Yoda shook Anakin's outstretched hand.////

**********************************************************

One year later

Luke evenatually found real love in the person of Callista. Oh, he seemed to be so happy! That's what Mara always wanted him to be: happy. Nevertheless, she felt an incredible pain deep in her heart when she saw Luke embracing that ex-Jedi body-snatcher. What wouldn't she have given if it could be her, whom Luke embraced and kissed so eagerly! Once she even visited Luke at the Academy to tell him about the Hutts' secret activities. Her real reason for her visit was of course to see him, but that was something she would never admit to him. After her short chat with Callista, she stated in herself that Ms.Body-snatcher didn't deserve Luke. But what could she do? Nothing. At least Luke was happy, thought Callie's abilities in the Force disappeared and didn't want to return. But when Callista told her that she had heared that something might have been between her and Luke, she almost told her... she felt such a desire to tell that little bitch that Luke once really belonged to her... but she didn't.

***********************************************************

Callista and Luke soon left the Academy to go somewhere where they could be alone. Their destination was a comet.

"This place is so romantic, Luke." Callista whispered embracing her lover.

"But you still cannot feel the Force, dear." he replied.

"I can't feel the Force, but at least I can feel you in my arms. I want you, Luke. Do you also want me?"

"Trying to seduce me, sweetheart?" he asked with a childish smile.

"Not only trying, Luke." she answered kissing him passionately.

********************************************************

////"No Luke, don't choose the wrong woman again!" Ben sighed. "Oh, guys, we planned everything so well, and they screwed everything up!"

"Yep, exactly... they screwed..." Anakin smirked "...everything up..." he added sotto voce. "But you are right, Obi, I don't approve of this Callista. By the way, I guess I remember her from the Old Republic. She was a hot chick, wasn't she?"

"Hm, yeah, I guess I also remember her. For Sith's sake, she could be Luke's mother!"

"Don't swear in Heaven, Obi-Wan!" Yoda reprimanded him.////

**********************************************************

"Have you ever been in love before me, Luke?" Callista asked him, pressing her nude body to his.

"Um, yeah. Several times."

"Tell me about those women."

"Well, first of all, there was Leia."

"Your sister???"

"Yep, I fell in love with her when I first saw the hologram of her. But later on this romantic love changed and became brotherly love. Especially when I got to know that we were related."

"And after her?"

"Gaeriel. She was a Bakuran senator. We both felt attracted to each other, but her religion made her dislike the Jedi. We were not meant to be."

"And?"

"Then there was Teneniel. I guess I didn't love her, but she was hot... and well, um, I had certain thoughts regarding her. But she married another."

"Then came I, right?" Callie asked.

"Almost."

"Almost? Was there anyone else?"

"Yes." Luke shrugged.

"Who?"

"Mara."

"Mara? When I asked her what had been between you two, she said that she only wanted to kill you."

"Little liar." Luke replied with a sad smile.

"What happened between you?" Callie asked a bit nervously.

"She broke my heart, that's what happened. She played with me, used me, but never loved me. Fortunately I managed to forget her."

"Really? Does that mean that I'm the only woman you love?"

"Of course, my dear." he answered, caressing her face. "I love you with all my heart. And please, let's not talk about that woman, shall we?"

"Only if you kiss me." the woman cooed, her grey eyes never leaving his blue ones.

************************************************************

About a month later

*That low-down, body-snatching excuse of a Jedi! How could she do that to Luke?* Mara fumed. *She never deserved his love! How in the galaxy could she be so heartless to leave him when he needed her so much?* she wiped a tear from her cheek. *Gosh, what am I thinking? Who am I to condemn her for what she did? I did the same. I'm just as bad as she is. Had I not left Luke, he would never have fallen in love with that woman, and he wouldn't be hurting now. All is my fault! But... but I couldn't stay with him... we were not meant to be... we were not.*

**********************************************************

////"So sure you are, Mara Jade?" Yoda mused.

"Somehow we should make her realise that she did the wrong thing." Ben added.

"She already knows that." Anakin commented. "But this time Luke should make a step."

"He won't." Yoda said. "Still too much in love with Callista he is."

"I just hope he doesn't want to commit suicide again." Ben said.

"My son is no fool, Obi-Wan."

"Maybe no fool, but very close to that." Yoda told Anakin.////

********************************************************

The last rays of the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Yavin, the gas giant filled almost the whole sky, eclipsing the brilliant stars beyond it. Had one taken a look at it, Luke's soul would have showed the same picture: a big pain concealing all the little sparks of life that remained in him. At that moment he didn't even feel them. He felt only pain, loneliness, despair. As if the whole universe had collapsed around him, leaving him to be the only sentient being in the infinite depths of emptiness. He reached out with the Force to sense his apprentices' presence. They were all asleep or meditating somewhere in the Great Temple. They all felt so calm, so contented, even happy. They had emotions that Luke couldn't feel for more than a year now. Since Callista left him. His soul was empty, his heart broken, his mind in a turmoil. This was not what he deserved! Was it? Luke heaved a deep sigh. Maybe this was his punishment for turning to the Dark Side, or for using Winter and Camie. He never should have taken Mara's advice of 'practicing'. This was something he couldn't forgive himself. However hard he tried, he never could get to terms with the sins of his past. Lately he had started to think of himself being a loner until the end of his life. Every time he thought of his beloved sister, he felt a pang of remorse for being jealous of her happy life, partner and children. He would never have such happiness, that much was clear for him. He didn't deserve to be happy.

tbc

Okay, everyone, here's the new installment. This is also a 'brigde-chapter', so there's not much action. (Um, should I say 'none at all'?) Well, this chapter is still about emotions. (But the next one will have something else too...)

Disclaimer: see chapter 1 + there is some stuff from the books 'New rebellion' and 'Shield of lies'. I know that you all hate the latter - so do I, but a short dialogue from there was necessary. (Don't worry, I re-wrote it!) Rating: PG

T h r o u g h d e s p a i r a n d h o p e by Agi Vega

C h a p t e r 4

Four years later

"If a Jedi sleeps alone, surely it must be by choice, as it is with you." Akanah said scrutinizing his face, clearly waiting for a reaction.

"Are you saying that you expected me to warm a bed with you?" Luke asked hoping beyond hope that she would say 'no'. He had had just too many women in the last seven years. He was getting tired of them. "I didn't think that was our bargain."

"No. I never expected that." Akanah replied. *Even if I did, I wouldn't admit it to you.*

"Then what are you saying?"

"That Luke Skywalker could have a hundred children by now. A thousand."

"That's crazy." he answered, getting more and more frustrated. What was this woman driving at? What did she want? "I don't know how to be father to one child, much less a thousand."

"You wouldn't need to know. Their mothers wouldn't expect it. They would be grateful enough for the gift."

"I'd expect if of me." Luke said softly. *But I will never have children. Fortunately Winter didn't get pregnant. Camie or Callie...well, I don't think so. I hope not.*

Still, tired of women or not, he slept with Akanah as well. Was he too weak to resist women? He didn't know, but he felt ashamed after every time he slept with one - with the exception of Callista, of course. Then we could ask: why did he sleep with them at all? (((((well, because I wanted him to be naughty, that's why. - author out.)))))

*********************************************************

"Sith, does this boy never learn???" Ben fumed.

"Sex is the most powerful motive in the galaxy. Besides the Force, of course." Anakin explained. "But of that you have no idea, do you?"

"Non of your business." Obi-Wan retorted.

"So you admit that you don't." Sr. Skywalker sneered.

"Don't listen to him, Obi-Wan. Too much of a libido he still has, even in death." Yoda said. "That Jedi Code about feeling no passion really is wrong, I start to believe."

********************************************************

one year later

"Luke, nooooo!" Mara shouted as she sat up in her bed. She slowly looked around. She was in her suite on board of the Wild Karrde. "Thank the Force, it was just a dream." she whispered. *Or was it a Force-vision? Oh my, what if it was? Would he get hurt? Burnt alive? No, please, no...*

*********************************************************

"Well, was it a Force vision or just a nightmare?" Obi-Wan mused, chewing a celestial fish sandwich.

"No idea, but one thing is sure: Jade still cares for my son, doesn't she?"

"She does, yes." Yoda nodded. "But will that be enough? Sure of that I am not."

**********************************************************

"Your sister has three children and a husband who loves her. You embrace no one. You have companions, but no family. You teach tricks you learned long ago, and search the galaxy for challenges. You have no real home. Is that what you want, Skywalker?"

"Everyone's life can be made to sound bad, Dolph. I enjoy mine. I value it, and I wouldn't change it." Luke replied holding his green lightsaber ignited. *You are a liar, Luke* he said to himself. *Your life is no life at all. You only exist, but not live. Your heart aches for a wife and children she could give you. You don't enjoy your life, only accept it the way it is, because you cannot make it change. This is your burden that you have to carry through your whole life.* They went on fighting, attacking, parrying for a long time. Once Kueller's stormtroopers arrived, one of them stunned Luke, and the Jedi Master collapsed unconsciously to the ground.

**********************************************************

"If this continues, Han, Kueller will be stronger than the Emperor ever was, and he'll do it quicker." Mara said trying to hide her nervousness. She hoped that the trembling of her voice didn't reveal it to Han.

"So you are not here for Luke after all." This was no question. Han seemed to be kind of disappointed. He almost wished that his brother-in-law and the red-head will get together sometime.

"It may be too late for Luke. I'm here for the rest of us." Mara answered. *May the Force help, not to be too late for him. He musn't die. Not now, not here, not this way.*

*********************************************************

The situation seemed to be helpless. Everything was lost. Luke couldn't think of anything to destroy this evil being he was fighting. He was too hurt, and his enemy was too powerful. The only chance left was to sacrifice himself for a greater good, giving Leia the opportunity to kill Kueller with Luke's spirit helping her from the other world. He slowly raised his lightsaber to his face, just as Obi-Wan. Barely had he heard Leia's voice screaming 'Luuuuuuuuuuke!', when he lost his connection to the Force. It was totally gone.

*********************************************************

Not long after this, the Force returned, since the Thernbee ate the ysalamiri. Mara let out a relieved sigh. She could feel Luke again. But not Kueller. He was obviously dead. The Good defeated the Bad. Everything was all right again in the galaxy. Peace. Satisfaction. Happiness. Luke was alive. He was hurting from his injuries, but he would get better soon. "Thank the Force..." she mumbled.

*********************************************************

"Fool is he not? Convince me of that will you never." Yoda pouted. "Reckless and stupid. Yes, a total fool. Who else would want to die in Obi-Wan's way?"

"But Yoda, do you mean that I died in a wrong way?" Ben asked shocked. "I thought it was right for me to die from Vader's, sorry, Anakin's hand. I always regarded myself as a hero after that."

"Hero, Obi-Wan? A silly dead hero, nothing else." the little green Master replied. "But today I have a good day, hurt your feelings I don't want to."

"Surely not." Ben turned his back on his former master.

"Hey, don't take it too much to your heart, Obi." Anakin tried to console him. "All of us made silly things. I for one turned to the Dark Side. If that was not silly, then nothing. And of course killing you was also stupid. Sorry, pal."

"You don't have to apologize, Annie. Let's just hope that your son will soon come to his senses, shall we?"

************************************************************

A couple of months after the Almanian conflict

Almost nine years had passed since Luke first met Mara. Nine very long years. So many things happened during these years! Luke silently reflected on the past while looking at the Coruscant sunset. All of his friends got married, had children, led a contented life. Even Winter. She married Tycho Celchu and seemed to be very happy. Luke was glad for her happiness, especially after the woman told him that she wasn't mad at him anymore. Now she was to have her first baby. Wedge already had two little girls, Corran and Mirax had a son and were planning to have a second child as well. Leia and Han's kids were nine and eight years old, and showed a great potential in the Force. Even Tionne married Kam, this way they became the first Jedi couple of the New Republic. Luke's heart ached at the thought that he and Callista could and should have been the first. It seemed to Luke that wherever he looked, he saw happy families. Everyone seemed to have what Luke only dreamed of. With a sad smile he thought: *my life is just like this sunset. I've already done everything I had to, I have no work to do anymore. My sun is about to set. Great stars, I feel so old! If I think of my past, what can I claim? Blowing up the Death Star? Founding Rouge Squadron? Redeeming Vader? Reestablishing the Jedi Order? Okay, maybe. But... this is not enough for me. I did these things for others, not for myself. What did I do then for myself? Nothing good. I've slept with half a dozen women, but I never achieved happiness. Mara was simply wrong. The needs of the soul cannot be satisfied with physical acts... Not at all.*

**********************************************************

"Master Luke! Thank the Maker that I have found you!" a certain protocol droid yelled as he shuffled out to the terrace.

"What happened, Threepio?" Luke asked being suddenly grateful to the droid for having interrupted his painful thoughts.

"Admiral Ackbar would like to talk to you, Master Luke. He says it's urgent."

"Is he on the comlink?"

"No, sir, he wants to talk to you in person. He is waiting for you in his office."

"Okay, I'm coming." Luke sighed.

**********************************************************

Ackbar sat in his office, his head propped on his leathery hands.

*He looks so depressed. What happened to him?* Luke thought when he entered the room.

"Oh, at last, you are here!" Ackbar jumped up and greeted him with a fervent hand-shake, guiding him to his round table. As they sat down, the admiral started to talk at once. "Thank the Force that you are here, Jedi Master! You are exactly whom we need!"

*Yeah? Again?* Luke thought. "Um, well, I came here because it seemed to be urgent. How can I help you? What is going on at all? I haven't seen you this befuddled since the Thrawn conflict."

"Well, I'll start it at the beginning." Ackbar said. "Cylex is being attacked."

"Cylex? Never heard of it." Luke replied.

"Of course you haven't. Besides Leia and a very few people at the High Council no one knows about the existence of this planet. It's partly because it is a very small globe on the outher rim."

"Then if it's so insignificant, why are you so troubled?" Luke asked having difficulties to understand the Calamari.

"Because it is the source of the New Republic's well-being." Ackbar replied.

"I fear I don't get it, admiral."

"The New Republic's gold reserves are stored on that planet."

"Oh. I see." the Jedi nodded. "And since it is under siege, you fear that some bad guys might steel all that gold, and want me to prevent them from doing so, right?"

"Right."

"Do you expect me to go alone or do I get a troop? What do you plan for me to do?"

"Does that mean that you accept to take part in the mission?" Ackbar asked with a bit more relieved face.

"Yes, Admiral." Luke said. "At the moment I was being bored to death. I'm willing to help the New Repulic anytime, you know that. Just fill me in on the details, please."

"Sure, Jedi Master. And thank you."

"There's nothing to thank, I'm just doing my job." Luke shrugged.

**********************************************************

"That's it! At last!" Anakin sighed happily. "It should have happened a long time ago!"

"First catch your mynock then cook him." Ben commented wisely. "We cannot be sure that it will happen."

"I know, I know, but Luke is going there! It must be the Force at work, Obi-Wan, don't you think?"

"I tend to think so, but I cannot be sure. He might find it out, but that's far from certain."

"And what do you think, Yoda?" Anakin inquired.

"Hope I do. Sure I am not. Always in motion the future is."

"Yeah... that's something I'm also aware of." Anakin sighed.

tbc

Okay, all, here's the fifth installment. I tried to include some 'action' in it, but it is still not my cup of tea - I guess it will ge quite naive. Disclaimer: see chapter 1 Rating: G

T h r o u g h d e s p a i r a n d h o p e by Agi Vega

C h a p t e r 5

On his way to Cylex, Luke spent his time reading all possible information about the planet he was going to visit and defend. Eventually, there was no ignorance, there was knowledge, right? Cylex was a twentieth rate planet near the Si-ruuk Cluster. It had no big cities, only a couple of villages. It had only 4500-5000 inhabitants, who were mainly peasants and earned their living by growing wheat and a special fruit called cyliqua. Ninety-one percent of the planet was covered by forests, seven percent by meadows and villages. The remaining two percent was water, mainly small lakes. There were eleven little villages on the planet, ten of which were located on the western hemisphere, and only one on the eastern side. This one was built about two kilometers from a mysterious fortress. The New Republic?s golden reserves were stored in that big fortress that stood on a high cliff in the middle of the thickest forest.

The attackers were clearly pirates who somehow got to know about the secret treasure hidden on Cylex. That itself was quite strange, since not even the inhabitants of the planet knew what that mysterious fortress stood for. They were very peaceful people, and they never cared what the New Republic was doing on their planet, as long as it didn?t disturb them. So they had no idea how close they were to the greatest treasure of the galaxy. This way they were very surprised to see big, dark ships landing on their world, and hunky, grim-visaged guys coming out of the ships with blasters and vibroblades. The Cylexian people had no weapons and couldn?t defend themselves from the pirates. Soon the inhabitants of the village that was close to the fortress found themselves herded into well-guarded camps. The pirates were no fools, they didn?t want the natives to prevent them from taking the fortress.

Luke knew that the New Republic didn?t want to send a fleet to Cylex, because if it did, then the secret wouldn?t be a secret anymore. Sending a small troop could also cause the same: even the most faithful soldiers can be corrupted by the prospect of a fortune. This is why Luke had to come alone. He decided to come in a Lambda-class fighter, in case he needed to bring someone off planet. He still had three hours before coming out of hyperspace, which he wanted to spend by resting a bit. Tomorrow would be a tough day for sure.

*********************************************************

?So, where are we going now, Karrde?? Mara asked sipping her tea.

?Nowhere, for the moment.? the man replied tugging his beard. ?Let?s say that we are on vacation. Mmm, this tea is delicious. What is it made of??

?A rare fruit called cyliqua.? she replied.

?Cyliqua? Is it from the planet Cylex??

Mara felt a shiver run down her spine when Talon uttered the word ?Cylex.?. ?Yes, I guess it is. Why?? *How in the galaxy has Karrde heard about that planet? It is so unknown, so hidden...*

?Well, it?s just that I heard that Cylex is under siege.?

?Whaaat?? Mara jumped from her seat.

?Hey, what?s the matter, Mara? It?s just a little planet, nothing else.?

?Sure...? the woman muttered slowly sitting down again. ?Karrde, if we are on vacation, then could I ask you to let me leave you for a couple of days??

?Why not? Go, if you want to. But come back soon, you know that I cannot run this organisation without you. You are my hand, Mara, and you are an excellent employee.?

?Thanks, Karrde, I know.? Mara tried to smile. ?I promise to be back soon.?

********************************************************

In the middle of the night, Luke managed to put down his ship on the eastern hemisphere, three kilometers from the settlement of Tinyville. During his landing he sensed a mind watching the sky, trying to spot every suspicious movement. He simply reached out for the mind with the Force and made it believe that it noticed nothing. He felt that no one was in the near village. *Sure, they must have been taken captive or just fled into the forest.* According to the datacard that he read about the planet, Tinyville had a population of 360 people. The pirates, on the other hand were a group of 50. *Easy thing.* Luke thought. *I don?t understand why Ackbar was so desperate. For a Jedi this will be no problem.*

*********************************************************

////?Conceited, as always! Never will he get serious enough??

?Don?t worry, Yoda.? Anakin soothed him. ?My son knows what he is doing.?

?Knows, eh?? the green spirit asked. ?He knew what he was getting into when surrendering to the Dark Side, didn?t he??

?Don?t be so pessimistic, Master.? Obi-Wan added. ?He has already learned from that lesson.?

?I hope he did. Hmmm, yes.?////

*********************************************************

Next morning Luke put his ship into a cave that was hidden by a waterfall. No one would ever find it there. With a deep sigh he grabbed his rucksack and started to walk in the direction of the fortress, holding a map. For a moment he felt as if he had been just a tourist, wandering around in the forest. For such things as rambling, he had had no opportunity for a long time.

In four hours he reached the fortress. Around the building the forest was burnt out, the trees were uprooted and the sky was filled with smoke. The siege was still raging. The defenders of the fortress seemed to be in a desperate situation. Luke felt their emotions and knew at once that they were running out of ammunition. If he didn?t do something quickly, the building would be lost. He cloaked himself with the Force, and approached the besiegers? camp. In the camp he saw carts loaded with ion-cannons, blasters and little boxes that operated as energy-resources. With a small whisk of his hand, he crumpled the blasters and the energy-boxes. With an other he broke the conduits in the ion-cannons. Then, like someone who did his work well, he left. No one even noticed that he was there.

Shortly before sunset he returned to the pirates? camp, only to hear the bad guys cursing and swearing.

?Who the hell did this??

?I didn?t see anyone, boss.?

?The villagers are all in the prisoner-camp, they could not be. Maybe some peasants from the other villages.?

?Silly, those villages are 3000 kms away! Those people don?t even know that we are here!?

?Then maybe some animal did it. Some extra big beast.?

?You are an animal, Jones.?

?As you wish, boss. I am an animal.? Luke silently snickered hearing the pirates discussing his little deed. *First operation completed. Now let?s see to the second one.*

Luke slowly reached out for the pirates? minds with the Force. Fourty-one out of the fifty were human beings. Easy task for a Jedi Master. He gently touched each man?s mind and carefully wiped out their memories. He knew that such an act sometimes led to the Dark Side, but now he was using it for a good purpose. He couldn?t let the pirates remember the secret fortress and the gold in it. Five minutes later the camp was filled with half-crazy, amnesiac pirates. *Good.* he thought. *But we are not yet out of the woods. There are still nine reptilian guys, whose minds cannot be tampered with the Force.*

First of all he silently called out to the humans to follow him. Those people obeyed without a single word. He led them into one of the pirates? ships and locked them in. *They?ve lost all their memories, so they don?t even know how to fly a ship or how to open the door. There will be no problem with them anymore.*

After that he returned to the camp, where a couple of reptiles desparately searched for their companions who seemed to have disappeared. *Your turn, fellows.* Luke thought and approached them.

?Looking for something, guys?? he asked in an easy tone.

?Who the hell are you?? one of the pirates asked.

?Your worst nightmare.? Luke answered.

?Now, wait a minute! I know this guy!? another bad boy yelled. ?This is the Jedi teacher from that damned Academy on Yavin 4!?

?Jackpot.? Luke replied and ingnited his lightsaber.

?Kill him off!? one of the pirates shouted and started to shoot at him. He easily parried all the shots, even when they started to come from four different directions. He managed to carry on like this for about two seconds, but when the other four reptiles also opened fire at him, he suddenly realised that he couldn?t cope with all of them.

?Need some help?? a female voice asked from behind Luke?s back. Luke didn?t turn around, he knew who it was. As soon as Mara joined the battle, the chances of staying alive greatly increased. Giving all their minds to the Force, they not only deflected the shots, but managed to grab the blasters from the pirates? grips. ?Hey, that? s not fair!? one of the bad guys shouted.

?Shut up!? Mara yelled. ?Luke, bring a rope and bind their hands!?

?Aye, captain!? Luke saluted playfully and commanded the pirates to sit down and don?t move. He tied them up in no time and turned to Mara. ?One is still missing. We?ve got to find him!?

?Do you sense him anywhere?? the woman asked.

?Yup, he is running in northern direction.?

?Well, first of all we have to put these bad lots under arrest.?

?Sure. Here?s my comlink. Get in contact with the defenders of the fortress and tell them where they can find the prisoners. They will take care of them. The secret code you have to use is 0807. While you deal with this, I?m gonna catch this fellow!?

?Okay.? Mara replied taking his comlink.

***********************************************************

The fugitive ran across the forest, directly to the villagers? prisoner?s camp. He was fuming with rage. That damned Jedi caught all his companions and ruined all their plans of becoming rich. But he will get his revenge! The camp was not guarded by anyone at the moment, since everyone was needed at the siege. Still, the villagers couldn?t come out, because the pirates surrounded that camp with special conduits of high electricity. After one of the prisoners tried to break it through and died, no one wanted to try it again. The last remaining pirate swore to avenge his fellows. *I will kill them all!* he thought. *Then the Jedi will be responsible for the death of 360 innocent people!*

He grabbed a torch and ignited it. With a diabolic laugh he touched the torch to the wooden fence of the camp. Since the wood was very dry, lacking rain in the last three months, it went up in flames in an instant. Hearing the villagers? desparate cries, the pirate started to laugh even louder. ?Avenge!? he shouted.

?Easy does it! Don?t count your mynocks until they are hatched!? Luke shouted and attacked him, killing him with a quick swipe of his lightsaber.

?Help! Somebody! We are gonna dieeeee!? Luke heard the cries of the prisoners.

*Oh, the poor people!* Luke thought. *I?ve got to save them!*

He sent his saber flowing in the air cutting the electrical wires that surrounded the camp. For a couple of seconds the conduits spread sparks, but as soon as they stopped to do so, Luke pushed the gate of the camp with the Force and opened it. The unfortunate prisoners yelled in surprise and relief, then ran out of the camp that was now totally on fire.

?Is everyone okay?? Luke asked from the coughing, soot-covered peasants.

?Yes, we are fine. Thank you, noble hero.? the leader of the village replied.

Abruptly there was a desperate cry. ?What happened?? Luke asked.

?A little boy is missing, sir.? a woman whined wringing her hands. ?He must be still in there, in the flames!?

?I?m gonna bring him out.? Luke stated making a Force-shield around his body. In the next second he jumped into the fire and disappeared from the villagers? eyes. Not much later a young, red-haired woman approached the people. She felt their dispair at once, and started to look for someone, who was obviously nowhere to see.

She turned to an old woman who was sobbing silently. ?Enna, where?s he?? she asked.

?He?s in there.? Enna said pointing her finger at the flames.

?No!? Mara yelled feeling as if a vibroblade had run throught her heart. ?I have to save him!?

?No, dear, stay put. You cannot help.? the old woman said.

?But...? Mara started to resist when a slight form appeared from the flames. As Luke ran throught the gate, the whole camp collapsed behing his back. He coughed and wiped the tears from his eyes with his left hand. On his right arm there was a little boy sitting, tightly clinging to him. The boy?s face and hair was covered with soot, but his piercing blue eyes immediately started to search for someone in the crowd. Luke didn?t even have time to put him down, the boy jumped down from his arm and ran in Mara?s direction. The woman knelt down stretching her arms out for him.

?Mommy, mommy!? the little boy yelled and threw himself into her embrace. Mara held him tightly, sobbing silently. ?Why are you crying, mommy??

?Because I?m so happy, Yori.? she answered, her lips trembling and pulled her son closer the herself. When she finally looked up, the first person whom she noticed was Luke. There he stood, as if he had been stricken by a lightning: his eyes widened with shock, his legs almost too weak to support his weight. Mara slowly stood up, took Yori?s hand and walked over to Luke. At first she didn?t utter a single word, since she had no idea where to start, what to say. Only her pleading green eyes talked to Luke: *Forgive me, please, forgive me.* They stood rooted to the spot for who knows how long... their silent contact was interrupted by a tug on the sleeve of Mara?s shirt. ?Mommy, what is happening??

Mara swallowed her tears and turned to the little boy. ?Yori, meet your father.?

tbc

P.S. The little boy was originally a 'Ben', but when I realised that none of you wanted Luke to have a son called Ben, I just chose another name. I hope it doesn't sound too silly, but this was the first name that came to my mind.

Okay, all, here's the final chapter - at last. I know that the whole story was very weird, but I hope it wasn't toooooo bad. At least I had an opportunity to show Ben, Ani and Yoda in a totally different way than they really are. Disclaimer: see chapter 1 Rating: PG

T h r o u g h d e s p a i r a n d ho p e by Agi Vega

C h a p t e r 6

"Would you tell me a bedtime story, daddy?" Yori asked as Luke tucked him in.

"Sure." Luke smiled as he gently pushed a stray lock of sandy blond hair from the boy's face. "Have you heard the story of the lost bantha cub?"

"No, not yet." Yori shook his head. "Will you tell it to me?"

"Yes." Luke replied in a calm, soothing voice. "Close your eyes and imagine a big desert with dunes as far as the eye can reach. The rays of the twin suns make the weather sweltering. The rocks of the Beggar's Canyon are so hot that you could scramble eggs on them. It is noon, the hottest time on Tattooine. No one can be seen on the infinite sandy waste. No one, but a cute little furry bantha cub..."

As Luke finished telling the tale, his son muttered something like 'I'd like to see a real bantha' and dropped off.

"You'll see a bantha, son. I'll take you to Tattooine sometime, and I'll show you the whole galaxy. But first of all I promise to be a good father to you." Luke whispered. He stayed in Yori's cabin for a while, marveling at the little being created by Mara and him. Yori was their miracle. He really was a beautiful child, with his father's sparkling blue eyes and his mother's finely shaped nose. He also had a little dimple on his chin, just like his father. Luke remembered looking exactly like this when he was Yori's age. He just hoped that his son would have a better childhood than he had. Until now the little one had no daddy, but Luke swore to make up for the lost years. He would give his son everything he had been denied. And of course he would teach him the ways of the Jedi. Luke was sure that Yori would be a great knight sometime. The Force was very strong with him. "Sleep well, little Jedi." Luke kissed his son's forehead, then stood up and silently left the cabin.

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"Is he asleep?" Mara asked leaning back into the couch of the Jade's Fire. They left the planet in her ship after Luke docked his Lambda-class fighter in the hangar of the Fire.

"Yes, he is. He liked the story I told him." Luke replied sitting down next to her. "Jacen, Jaina and Anakin also like it. Especially Annie... Hey, they will be pretty happy to have a cousin."

"Uh-huh." Mara nodded not daring to look into his eyes.

"Mara, look at me." the man said gently touching her chin, making her face him.

"Luke, I..." Mara started. "I don't know what to say, Luke."

"Only one thing. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you hide him from me?"

"Because... I... we... didn't fit into your life."

"Who told you that?" Luke asked somewhat indignantly.

"No one. I just knew it. From the beginning. That's why I didn't stay with you after that night."

"I don't understand." Luke shook his head. "I would gladly have accepted you as my lover, my partner in life, as my wife. I would have given you all my love. But you simply would have none of it."

"I was scared, Luke."

"Of me?"

"No. Of my feelings for you."

"So you admit that you actually did have feelings for me."

Mara sighed. "I loved you. From the first moment I saw you on Myrkr. But it frightened me. Please, understand, I had never felt love for anyone before that. It was such a new, unknown, strange feeling... It scared me."

Luke's mind and soul were in a turmoil. She had loved him! Still, she lied to him and left him! "So you tell me that you loved me when you slept with every single man who got into your way?" he asked remembering her words: *don't feel qualms of conscience, because I'll also sleep with others. I always do.*

"What the hell are you talking about?" Mara burst out with rage.

"You told me that you'd sleep with others, and I should also do so." Luke shrugged, then a smirk appeared on his face. "Does this outburst mean that you didn't...?"

Mara turned away from him to hide her tears. *How can he think such things of me? I've never had a man since that night with him. But... he's right. I cannot blame him for taking me for a slut. It was me who persuaded him that I was indeed immoral.*

Luke put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her into a light embrace. "Hey, sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, Luke." she sniffled. "You had every right to tell me that, since I had told you the same thing back then. But... I lied to you."

"I know." Luke whispered. "If only I had known it earlier!"

"Will you ever be able to forgive me?" Mara asked looking deeply into his sapphire eyes.

"I couldn't be mad at you. Not even if I wanted to. I love you." he answered caressing her cheek.

"Really? Are you sure? Do you love me after all I had done to you?"

"Yes."

"And what about Callista?" Mara asked, but when she saw a frown appearing on Luke's face, she regretted her question. Luke turned his face away from her and closed his eyes. His mind twirled with an incredible speed, trying to answer this last question. Did it still hurt him that Callie left him? Yes, it did. But did he still love her?...

NO.

He turned back to Mara. "I thought that I loved her. If I really consider that relationship with her, I have to admit that she was just a substitute for you. She was the woman in whom I tried to find you. My relationship with her was a self-defending mechanism I used subconsciously to close you out of my mind. I didn't realise this until her leaving. But Mara, you were the one whom I truly loved, all along..."

"Oh, Luke..." Mara sighed, her tears flowing freely.

"Don't cry, my dear." Luke whispered. "You have no reason to cry. Not anymore. We are together, and nothing can part us now." He pulled her close and kissed her moist cheek.

"Nothing?" She asked with a smile. "Not even that haugthy sister of yours? What would she think when she gets to know that her holy brother has an illegitimate child?"

"Then we should see to it that she has no reason to regard Yori as illegitimate." Luke said.

"How?"

"We'll legitimize him, right after the wedding."

"Wedding?" Mara asked with a childish smile. "Was this is a proposal, farmboy?"

"No." he replied. "This is one." With that he knelt down before her, took her right hand in his and asked her: "Mara, will you marry me?"

"You mean if I promise to finish my training?"

"No, I mean, regardless."

The ex-Emperor's Hand barely could see him through her joyous tears. She was crying and smiling at once. "Yes, I will marry you."

Luke jumped to his feet, picked Mara up and flung her around. When he put her down, he kissed his fiancee passionately. "I hope you are not opposed to premarital sex."

"Not at all." she answered and returned his kiss. "But you know, I'm a bit sorry for poor Karrde. He is losing me."

"His loss will be my gain." Luke smiled. "Now, let's see that bedroom."

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"Told ya! I've won, I've won!" Anakin jumped for joy.

"What a relief!" Ben added. "We don't need to worry about them anymore."

"The Force we must thank." Yoda commented.

"Yeah, I also thank the Force for that beatiful, big cloud you are going to give me!" Anakin grinned.

"Huh?" Yoda asked bewildered.

"I hope you haven't forgotten our bet?"

"No." Yoda sighed then turned to Ben. "A real Skywalker he is." he said pointing his little, crooked finger at Anakin. "Childish! Reckless! Impatient! And the most annoying is that he always wins!!!" Yoda started to tear his hair.

"Rage is of the Dark Side, Master." Anakin soothed him. "Try to calm down."

"Do or do not. There is no try." Ben scolded his friend.

"Hey, my line that is!" Yoda yelled.

"I know, Master." Obi-Wan replied. "And I know one more thing."

"Yeah? What?" Yoda and Anakin asked in unison.

"That they will happily live ever after."

THE END