Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien's characters or settings, even if I love them as if they were my own. The idea and Cyrene are mine, only mine.
As usual, love an thanks to my dear beta Viv, my "out-of-block-bouncers" and all the readers who read and review. All my deepest and heartfelt thanks!
Chapter XXXI: Unspoken words
The Army of the West camped outside Osgiliath on their journey back to Minas Tirith. The King was returning to his kingdom.
Legolas looked up to the starry sky, gathering his thoughts, like he did every night since he had parted from Cyrene. He knew that some of the Fair Folk had died of grief, but he had never thought about how it would feel to bear the burden of heartbreak and despair. Now he knew.
It was as if a heavy mist settled on everything around him; people and places blurred from his senses and the real feeling of loss overshadowed all other sensations and emotions.
Legolas made an effort to stay focused on Aragorn and Gimli, prying himself away from the mental fog. He still needed to see Aragorn crowned and fulfill his promise to his dwarven friend to visit Fangorn Forest, but somehow all his commitments and promises seemed distant and unimportant. Legolas missed Cyrene. He could hardly remember how he was able to live thousands of years before meeting her. But she had deserted him and he had no choice but to bear his fate and keep on existing, until he finally faded away into oblivion.
For a last time, he prayed to the Valar for a merciful death. When his time came near, he would leave his friends behind and seek a quiet place to pass away.
***
Aella and Gimli lay together inside Aella's tent. Gimli was extremely careful with the Amazon, since she still could not walk unaided and her leg was still healing. Both enjoyed the comfort of their lovers' embrace, but their thoughts were with Legolas and Cyrene.
"He has gone away again. I have no the heart to talk about it with him. He is fading though," said Gimli. His hand played with Aella's fire-red hair.
"Fading?" asked the small Amazon.
"Elves can die either in battle or of grief, beloved. Legolas is dying," explained Gimli.
Aella sat up abruptly, wincing at the pain it caused as she moved her injured leg. "Are you jesting, Gimli? He cannot be dying! It would mean that Cyrene's own sacrifice has been for naught!"
"Lay down again, Aella. You are hurting yourself. And explain to me about Cyrene's sacrifice," the dwarf said, pushing Aella back into the pillows. It was amazing even to himself that the fiery little woman brought out such tender feelings in him.
The Amazon laid down and her hand trailed a tender caress across Gimli's cheek. He was a loyal friend, an impressive warrior, and a good mate. She could see herself bound to him for the rest of her life, but they had not discussed the future yet.
"Cyrene has left Legolas because she does not want him to lose his immortality. She was told that elves lose their eternal life if they bound themselves to mortals. She could not bear the thought of being the cause of his death," Aella explained.
"I have no greater knowledge of the elven ways than most of my people, Aella, but I am sure that Legolas could not lose his immortality by binding himself to a human And he is already fading, because he gave her his heart and she deserted him. You see it yourself, every day he is ... further away."
Aella nodded gravely. She had seen the change in Legolas since they had met after the battle of the Morannon. He hadn't even inquired about Cyrene. Instead he had settled into the passive role of Gimli's companion: helping Aella to mount and dismount, setting up the tent and the fire with them, and silently leaving by nightfall and not returning until dawn. The Mirkwood elf was barely a shadow of his former self, and it hurt her to see him that way.
"Is it true that elves cannot lose their immortality by binding themselves to humans, then? But he is dying because they are not together? This is a cruel twist of fate, Gimli! We cannot let it happen!" said Aella, almost jumping up and remembering just in time that she could not stand unassisted.
"Beloved, we will do whatever is in our might to bring them together once again. And let them speak honestly to another. But until then, if you will not take care of yourself, I will have to tie you down, Aella," the dwarf said, pulling her back on the pallet.
"I just can't bear watching them fall apart when it is plain they belong together!" protested the small redhead.
"As I said, we will do our best. Although the final decision is in their hands, we will do everything we can for them. I promise this to you," Gimli said solemnly.
"I believe in you, Gimli," sighed Aella.
"I believe in you too, my beloved Amazon" said Gimli, holding the woman closer.
But their embrace was tense: They were working against time.
***
On the day the Captains of the West led their host towards the City the sun shone bright upon them and folk saw them advance in line upon line, flashing and glinting in the sunrise and rippling like silver.
They came before the Gateway and halted a hundred paces from the walls. No gates had been set up yet, but across the entrance to the City stood men at arms in silver and black with long swords drawn. There stood Faramir the Steward and other captains of Gondor and the Lady Éowyn of Rohan with Elfhelm the Marshal, Cyrene the Amazon, and many knights of the Mark.
Éowyn's eyes surveyed the scene A deep silence fell upon all people gathered, as out from the ranks of the army stepped the Dúnedain, and leading them was Aragorn. With him were Éomer of Rohan and the Prince Imrahil, Legolas Greenleaf, Gimli the dwarf, Gandalf robed all in white, and four small figures that many men marveled to see.
It was the first time that Éowyn had seen Aragorn since he had left Edoras for the Paths of the Dead. So much had happened since then, and as her gaze settled on the magnificent form of the King, she wondered about other twists her fate could have taken. Still, as events had evolved, she had the satisfaction of having taken her destiny in her own hands and made her choices.
Eowyn's eyes searched for the Steward of Gondor, her most recent choice. Faramir sat proud and handsome on his mount, wearing the armor and clothes of his rank. He looked regal and serene, observing placidly as the new King of Gondor approached the City. Eowyn knew now that she had chosen right. Although Aragorn was strong and impressive as a man and a leader of men, she wouldn't want that if she had to sacrifice the kindness and love of Faramir, steady as the seasons, warm as sunlight. The Gods had been generous to her.
A single trumpet rang, and silence followed. From the Gate Faramir approached, leading four men in the high helms and armor of the White City, bearing a great casket of black metal bound with silver.
Faramir met Aragorn and knelt, saying, "The last Steward of Gondor begs leave to surrender his office."
He held out a white rod, the device of a steward, but Aragorn took the rod and gave it back, saying, "That office is not ended, and it shall be yours and your heirs' as long as my line shall last. Do now your duty!"
Faramir stood up and spoke in a clear voice, "Here is Aragorn son of Arathorn, chieftain of the Dúnedain of Arnor, Captain of the Host of the West, bearer of the Star of the North, wielder of the Sword Reforged, victorious in battle, whose hands bring healing, the Elfstone, Elessar of the line of Valandil, Isildur's son, Elendil's son of Númenor. Shall he be king and enter into the City and dwell there?"
All the gathered people cried, "Yes!" with one voice.
Then the guards stepped forward, and Faramir reverently opened the casket and held up an ancient crown. It was shaped like the helms of the Guards of the Citadel, save that it was loftier, and it was all white, with wings at either side in the likeness of the wings of a sea-bird.
Aragorn took the crown and held it up and said, "Out of the Great Sea to Middle-earth I have come. In this place will I abide, and my heirs, unto the ending of the world."
Then, to the wonder of many, Aragorn did not put the crown upon his head, but instead gave it back to Faramir and said, "By the labor and courage of many have I come into my inheritance. In token of this I would have the Ringbearer bring the crown to me, and then Mithrandir set it upon my head, if he will, for he has been the mover of all that has been accomplished. This is their victory."
Frodo came forward and took the crown from Faramir and brought it to Gandalf. Aragorn knelt, and Gandalf set the White Crown upon his head, saying, "Now come the days of the King, and may they be blessed while the thrones of the Valar endure!"
And in that moment all the trumpets sounded, and the King Elessar walked towards the destroyed gates of the city. Followed by joyful music and the singing of clear voices, the King passed through the flower-laden streets leading to the Citadel, and as he entered it the banner of the Tree and the Stars was unfurled upon the highest tower, and the reign of King Elessar began.
***
Though both were intent on focusing their attention upon the crowning of the King, Legolas and Cyrene could not take their eyes away from another. Now that their duties had been fulfilled, they were drawn to another like metal to magnet. But the thoughts they harbored could not be more opposed. While Cyrene nervously anticipated talking to Legolas, Legolas felt the pain in his soul deepen by the mere sight of the Amazon. He would not seek her, and if he could, he would leave Minas Tirith as soon as possible.
The elf rode up to the citadel with the entourage of the new King, dismounted, and helped the dwarf to reach the ground. Sighing, he said, "I will not stay in the City now, Gimli. I need to ride to the coast. I shall reflect on many matters that cannot be postponed. Please give my apologies to the King. I may return in a couple of days in time for the coronation"
"You may return?" queried Gimli, louder than intended. The dwarf knew that Legolas meant he may not survive this last trip. And Gimli would be damned if he was going to let his friend face alone whatever fate had in store for him. He would fight for the elf's life as long as he had energy left.
"You will not go anywhere without me, Master Elf. I shall not leave your side."
A sad smile settled on Legolas's lips. "You are a true friend and brother in arms, Gimli, and I never dreamt I should find my best companion in you. But you are that. Still, there are people awaiting you and I would prefer to make this journey on my own."
"Never, my lad. You shall not ride alone. Swear to me by the Valar that you will await me for a moment, while I say my farewells to Aella. Will you?" asked Gimli.
Legolas sighed and nodded wearily. Maybe it was better if the dwarf rode with him and could later give notice of his fate. "I will wait for you."
Gimli rushed as fast as his legs would carry him to Aella. "Legolas will not stay in the city. We are leaving for the coast." He took a deep breath. "I shall lead him towards the last camp we made before encountering the Amazons. Tell this to Cyrene, she will know, beloved. I hope that Cyrene and you can reach us before it is too late. Farewell." Hastily he took Aella's hand in his and kissed it, and then turned on his heel and ran back to where Legolas was patiently awaiting him.
Once both were on Arod's back again, the elf turned the horse and his keen eyes caught sight of Cyrene running down the steps of the Citadel towards them. A pang of hurt lanced his senses, but he did not want any more confrontations with her. Turning his mount, he left at a quick canter for the city gates.
Cyrene stood at the top of the stairs, patiently waiting for Legolas and Gimli to climb the steps. The rest of Elessar's entourage had already passed. She had prepared in her mind the words and the manner with which she would approach Legolas. Once she had decided to talk to him and apologize and explain her previous behavior to the elf, she felt her heart lighten. Of course, the insecurity of not knowing how he would react to her confession made her nervous as she had ever been.
Her eyes settled on his figure as he dismounted and helped Gimli down. Then he stayed by his horse, not approaching her at all, but she told herself to wait. For a moment Cyrene recalled that she was commander of the Amazons and a princess. Such a person should avoid any public display that might dishonor her station. So, patiently, she kept on waiting.
As she saw Legolas help Gimli up on his horse again and mount swiftly in front of the dwarf, she saw she had lost a precious opportunity. Legolas was leaving, and Cyrene hadn't talked to him. She ran down the stairs, damning to Hades the pride that had made her hesitate.
As Cyrene reached the end of the stairs, they were riding out of Minas Tirith. She knew that she could not catch them. But she ran until her breath came in heaves.
***
Aella lay in the Houses of Healing under the care of Éowyn and the company of Cyrene. The Princess of the Amazons was not very good company. After the incident at the stairs of the Citadel the day before, Cyrene had turned her attention to preparing the departure of the amazons from the White City.Everything was readied in Dol Amroth and the Amazons would part from Minas Tirith at dawn of the following day.
She would do anything to distract her thoughts of Legolas. Torn between her wounded pride and chastising herself for having let him ride away, Cyrene could not think of the next action to take. She needed time.
Cyrene had commanded Aella to stay in Minas Tirith and await her return, to rest and tend her injuries.
Aella had hoped to be able to speak to her friend about Legolas, but Cyrene did not linger in the Houses of Healing. She came by only briefly, to ask the small Amazon about her leg's progress and discuss details about their troops. Aella noticed then that Eowyn, like Aella, seemed to be looking at Cyrene with the same expectancy. As if she were waiting for Cyrene to mention the elf.
Aella decided to approach Éowyn and see if the Lady of Rohan knew something about Cyrene's troubles. The small Amazon was aware that Cyrene's friendship with the shieldmaiden of Rohan was deep, and for a moment she felt a pang of jealousy. After all, Eowyn had been Cyrene's best friend and sister in arms for the last years while Aella had been left behind. But Aella did not have time for petty jealousies: the matter that worried her was pressing and had to be handled as soon as possible.
When Éowyn visited Aella to see how she was faring, Aella got right to the point.
"Lady Éowyn, I am very concerned about Cyrene. There is an important matter I have to speak to her about and she has no time. Or she makes no time. I have been unable to approach her on the issue. Would you help me?"
Éowyn had sensed a change in Cyrene after the arrival of the King, and though she had been occupied helping Faramir with the attention to the new arrivals to the City, she had also noticed that Legolas was not among the guests of the Citadel. She wanted to ask if Cyrene had been able to speak to the elf, but she had been so busy with the accommodations and Faramir that she had forgotten about it. Now as Aella spoke, though,, Éowyn was reminded of it.
"Do you wish me to ask Cyrene to come here, Aella?" asked Éowyn, and then on sudden impulse she decided to trust the Amazon. "Or do you wish to enlist my help into guiding Cyrene to see that her happiness lies in Master Legolas of Mirkwood?"
Aella smiled, knowing she had found an ally.
"So you know, Lady Éowyn? I am bound to my bed by this injury, but time is of the essence. I have to speak to Cyrene. It is very important that she speaks with Master Legolas. There have been misunderstandings and they have to explain to each other . . . "
Éowyn shook her head lightly. "It was her intention to speak to him yesterday. I do not know if they spoke, but Master Legolas is not in the city, as far as I know. Maybe they exchanged words and it has been unpleasant for her . . ." she said, thinking of her own experience with Aragorn.
"Nay, Lady. I do not believe that they have spoken to each other, because Gimli and Legolas left as soon as the new King entered the citadel. By the Goddess, I have to speak with Cyrene urgently, before she leaves for Dol Amroth," said Aella, moving to rise from the bed and biting back a curse as pain shot through her from her splinted leg. She dared not set down her foot on the ground.
With swift movements Éowyn gently pushed Aella back on the pallet. "You shall not stand up and go looking for her, Aella, or else you will hurt yourself worse. I will bring Cyrene to you. Now lay down, Amazon, and be at ease."
Aella looked up helplessly into the concerned gray eyes of the Lady of Rohan.
"I shall trust you, Lady. I will await here until you bring Cyrene to me."
"And shall not fail your trust, Aella" replied Éowyn with a smile.
**
The Amazon princess was in the stables, overseeing the work of the blacksmiths who were shoeing some of the Amazons' horses. It was not a task Cyrene was required to take upon herself, but she focused her attention on the details of the preparation for the ride to the coast.
She had personally gathered the gear and equipment of her warriors, seen to the food they would need for the journey, spoken to each of the Amazons, organized the transport of those who could not ride due to wounds, and settled disputes and conflicts with other soldiers inside the Citadel.
The warrior women, in spite of the long weeks co-existing with the men of the Army of the West, had plenty of difficulties in their daily activities in Minas Tirith. Xanthippe, who had taken over Aella's post as second in command while the little redhead remained in the Houses of Healing, had complained to Cyrene and beseeched her leader to leave the White City as soon as possible.
"Our warriors are wary of the people of this city and their spirits are on the edge of behaving violently. We endure taunting and rude behavior from the soldiers and citizens, Mistress, for they do not know our ways and customs. We should leave at once, before blood is spilled."
Cyrene sighed and ordered to prepare the departure even before sunset. The idea of leaving immediately was also welcome to her, troubled as she was with her own feelings and thoughts. Cyrene would not speak of her wounded pride or sadness to anyone. Not to Aella or Eowyn,her sisters in arms and best friends. She hardly admitted to herself that she was hurt and confused.
A part of her was screaming to ride after the elf, wherever he went, and beg his forgiveness, explaining her actions and letting Legolas make a choice for better or for worse.
But the old Cyrene, Princess and Commander of Amazon warriors, demanded that she gathered the shreds of her pride and move on with her life. Without Legolas. He had left her, after all. He could not have missed her running after them, not after the display she had made of it.
But Cyrene had no time for agony. She had still to fulfill the last part of her appointed mission, leading her warriors back to Dol Amroth. Only then would she be free again. Free to return to Edoras or to Minas Tirith or whichever kingdom she chose to offer her allegiance to.
Still the Amazon could not deny that she longed to see him once again, speak to him with the hidden hope that Legolas would find a way for them to be together. Even though she had stubbornly fled from him, every day she spent away from the elf weighed heavy on her. She missed his presence, his affection, every moment of her day. So Cyrene fled any idle moment, occupying herself with whichever task at hand until she was exhausted and unable to think about Legolas.
Now she was busy enough, preparing the ride. Once the mounts were ready, the Amazons would leave Minas Tirith within the hour.
**
As fate willed it, Eowyn was detained in the city. So she did not see Cyrene report to Eómer of her departure and say her farewells to the King.
Aragorn presented Cyrene with gifts for her mother Myrine and asked Cyrene to return to the White City for his wedding to the Evenstar.
"I will return, your Majesty. I am leaving my best warrior behind and those friends I cherish the most as well. I shall come back as soon as the Amazons have sailed from Dol Amroth," promised Cyrene, saluting Elessar.
Éomer accompanied her to the stairs of the Citadel, where troops awaited her impatiently. The Amazons, mounted and in full armor, were a sight of legend.
Cyrene turned to Éomer and saluted her liege. Then she whispered, "I had no time to say my goodbyes to Aella and Éowyn, my friend. Will you tell them I shall return soon, please?"
"I will, my sister. Be at ease. You know you can rely on my friendship, Cyrene," replied Éomer, also in a low voice.
"And I will cherish that friendship forever, Éomer," said Cyrene, mounting up and giving the sign for her warriors to ride out swiftly, not looking back.
**
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