simbelmyne

Disclaimer: I don't own Orlando Bloom or any living person depicted in the story. They deserve my utmost respect.

---------------- CHAPTER FOURTEEN-------------------

It was like being caught in the middle of a tornado, the sensation hitting every nerve of their bodies. It also felt like two pieces of a puzzle fitting perfectly together, lock and key, two opposite poles of a magnet joined for an endless instant in undeniable completion.

Until her conscience broke through and she pulled away from him.

Orlando and Verena looked at each other, panting, trembling, their eyes locked in confusion and rebellion against what she had interrupted. It had felt good, too good to be wasted, too good to turn back. And still, Verena forced herself to take a couple of steps back and sit stiffly on the couch while taking a couple of deep breaths, her arms hugging her torso, as if trying to replace the warmth of his arms, fighting to bring her raging emotions and sensations under control.

Verena cursed as she battled herself within a clouded and confused mind.

She wanted him; she wanted him to want her; she would give her soul to be able to get lost in this moment.

Orlando stood in the middle of the room, watching her with eyes dark with unfulfilled desire, confusion, and anger. He was shaking as well; he had reached the end of his tether. He had felt something within him snap the moment she had pulled away once more. This wasn't a game and he was tired of being toyed with.

He took a couple of deep breaths before asking hoarsely, "Why?"

Verena closed her eyes and tried to remember all the reasons why they just couldn't have sex at that moment, even if her body was screaming for him. She could not bear to see the hurt and disappointment in his eyes. She cared too much. And she clutched desperately at whatever argument came into her head to try to explain, make him understand.

"Orlando, we shouldn't be in this situation. It is my fault.I got carried away and it wasn't right. We are friends, but we are also bound by a business agreement. It should have never come this far."

She paused, still looking away from him. "I forced you to stay isolated from people your age and kept you from indulging in the err ... activities natural to them. The confinement, the isolation, the stress... and then you were forced to live with Zoë and me. It was clearly too much strain. You don't want me, Orlando. You need a release, and it was my responsibility to consider this. I am sorry."

Orlando listened to her speech trying to find an ounce of feeling between the lines. It was ridiculous. She surely must have felt it too. What they had felt when they were together had been for real. It wasn't his raging libido unleashed; it was more than that. Damn, everybody could see it but her. He took another deep breath and made an effort to reason with her, the same way she was talking to him. Bullshit.

"Verena, we are grown ups. I am not a boy that needs to have a release for his overflowing energy. I am not a child that can be summoned for a quick hug and a caress and then sent away to play with his toys somewhere else. And whatever there is between us is not a game. I want you, you want me. So quit running around and let's make things clear," he said, barely managing to keep the anger out of his voice.

V straightened her shoulders and continued her explanation, though it sounded weak and empty to her own ears. Deep inside she knew she was only giving him excuses. "It was inevitable that you might turn to the only female available for you ... You think you want me. But it isn't so. Come on, be real. I am way older than you; you wouldn’t be attracted to me unless there was no other choice within your reach."

Verena paused, sorting her arguments. "Damn it, Orlando, I am your PR-Agent. I am a pro. It took me years to get where I am. I just can't throw my professional reputation overboard on a whim."

"Sleeping with me would be a whim? That's a lot of crap V, and you know it. We have something together, beyond the lust. You and me and Zoë …" he started to reason, but she cut him off.

"Forget it, Orlando. It isn't for real. You are a good man and you will build your own family somewhere in the future. Neither Zoë nor I belong there. And I should have foreseen this, but I didn't. To make things easier on all of us, you have from today on, until we return to LA, all the freedom you need to indulge your needs . Zoë and I will be moving out to a hotel to avoid any further situations that might lead to misunderstandings. It's the best, for all involved. I am sorry."

He was staring at her, torn between the anger he felt at her stubbornness and the pain he felt to have his newly found home torn apart. Just like that.

Damn V, how could she so easily dismiss him and their little 'family'? Was she the one on the go for a quick shag and had mysteriously grown a conscience at the last minute? Verena really wasn't interested in him ...she still thought he was but a boy.

Orlando took two strides up to her and hissed through clenched teeth.

"I am sick of this. So I'm off the leash, am I? Then you won't mind me getting laid, V, now would you?"

He didn't wait for an answer. Instead, he turned on his heels and, picking up his jacket on the way out, he left the apartment.

Verena curled up on the couch and hugged herself even tighter. If this was the right thing to do, why did she feel so bad?

*****************

Orlando walked aimlessly for the first couple of blocks, until he reached a park. Raking his hand though his hair in exasperation he sat on a bench. Though it was late summer, he was cold.

This had to be a nightmare. The last months, the last weeks, the whole insane relationship with Verena.

It had been a mere four months ago when he had bumped into her at the elevator going to George's office. Then he had found out she was appointed to baby-sit him after a fashion. It had been disgust at first sight. Verena disliked him for being a wild life-enjoying brat. He couldn't take her overbearing demeanor and her bossy manners.

And in the midst of all this, there was Zoë, the little angel. He had been hooked on the little girl from day one. And bound by the deep caring they shared for Zoë, he and Verena had learned to get along. Even through arguments and struggles, they had grown into a team: Orlando and temperamental, pigheaded, magnificent Verena.

Until the day he realized he wanted her and the first kiss had not been enough. Neither had the second, nor the third.

It was not a matter of a quick shag, and he knew it. Not that he couldn't have done it, but it was different with Verena. He fucking cared. And she crushed his hopes with all those crappy notions about her being older, and a professional, and so on. It was all bullshit.

Who cared if she was older? He didn't. Her profession was something he respected and admired. But what really mattered was whether she wanted to have anything with him beyond friendship... or not.

Orlando wanted more, though he felt vulnerable and unsure about whether Verena would ever take him seriously. She clearly hadn't tonight.

He was upset and hurt. And still, he would not give up. It wasn't a game, and even if V was too stubborn or didn't feel for him the way he did for her and Zoë, he could be as stubborn as she was. He still wanted to enjoy having Zoë around, damn it. For as long as he could.

Orlando stood up knowing he had to go back to the flat and stop Verena from leaving. It wasn't a matter of him or her anymore. It was all about Zoë.

****************

Verena didn't cry, though she was hurting. She stood up and finished her glass of wine, walking almost automatically to the kitchen and washing the glasses, in an attempt to calm her thoughts and emotions through the daily chores.

The explanations she had given were very objective and had pointed out all the motives why they couldn't let their relationship go in a romantic direction. And this after she had started the whole kissing thing and Verena had been ready to have sex with Orlando right there where they had stood. She was a tease. She was the worst bitch imaginable. And she knew it.

She finished cleaning the kitchen, calmly walked to hers and Zoë's room, and began packing their belongings with precise movements . She needed to put some distance between Orlando and herself. And it couldn't wait until the morning, because she might change her mind.

Her reasonable arguments from before were already beginning to sound empty and hollow to her.

Verena went through all her reasoning in her head again. She had cut him off from his normal party life where he probably got his good share of sexual relief. Frustration on his part was understandable. She was the only female available and the tension between them had grown from the very first kiss, the night of the party at Verena's place. Everything had been leading to this. And in the end, she could have worked with him until the end of the contract even if they had had sex, right? Not professional at all, but Verena had never cared about rules or etiquette.

Who was she kidding? She had stopped the embrace because she was scared beyond belief. The fact that she was in love with him had terrified her ever since she had realized it.

He was so young, full of life and love; she just felt her soul blossom when she saw him with Zoë. Her little girl wouldn't understand, but V would have to solve it, somehow. And Orlando had grown close to her as well. Verena would have given a lot to have met him when she was younger, more independent, less cynical. Then she would have had the affair of a lifetime with him …

Nope, here she was lying to herself again. At his age, she had been engrossed in her career, too busy to deal with anything besides her photo-equipment, new assignments, and finding new thrills. No time for men, except as comrades and colleagues. Not in vain had she been nicked "Iceberg" Devereaux. And after that, Chechnya. And Zoë. And a whole new life.

And still she didn't know how to handle feelings like the ones she had for Orlando. They were too strong, too intense and scary.

So better to run away and then to take care of damage control. Verena was very good at damage control. Her hands shook as she zipped up her last bag and looked around to see if something was missing.

She was now done with packing, all that was left was sleeping Zoë, whom she would carry sleeping to the car. She hoped it all went well with the suite she had hastily reserved in The Milton Hotel. She went to the phone and ordered a cab. She needed to be gone as soon as possible. For the first time in her life she was an utter coward.

****************

Orlando ran as fast as he could, still not believing Verena would make good on her threat to leave before sunrise. But the moment the key turned in the lock, he knew they were gone.

He walked directly to the guest bedroom, where Zoë had been sleeping earlier, to find the bed unmade, and every piece of luggage gone. He looked in the bathroom and there wasn't a single item left that belonged to them. He found the same haunting absence in the living room and the kitchen. Even Zoë's "Harry Potter" breakfast mug was gone. Every trace of his little munchkin was gone.

There was only a note on the table where they used to eat together.

"Dear Orlando,

Again, I am very sorry about the situation, for which I take all the blame. Zoë and I will be staying in a hotel for the rest of filming. I will give you back the spare keys, tomorrow, on set.

I know we will be able to work this out like adults until the end of the contract.

Take care,

Verena"

He sat down after reading the note almost screaming in anger and frustration. The woman could drive him to desperation.

Was that all? First he was a contract to fulfill and then he was a boy who thought she was a quick shag on a whim. She made it sound all so cold and easy. It wasn't.

Fuck, fuck, fuck her, heartless stupid bitch!

He just wished he could either really fuck her and get over it or just hate her and also let go.

Orlando laughed bitterly at the stupid sound of that. It wasn't a solution. And he wondered if there was even a solution find to be found.

He stood up and walked to his room, forcing himself to lie down and try to sleep for a while. He had three hours left before he had to go to the set. But he would not play nice anymore. He was not a puppet, and she was a manipulative, coldhearted wench. He could handle that and more.

****************

Zoë woke up in a strange room and would have panicked if her mamma hadn't been lying next to her in the strange place, holding her close, softly telling her to wake her up.

"Come on Chip, it's time to go to kindergarten. The sun is up and we should be getting ready. Breakfast is already here. Wake up, my sunshine."

Zoë curled closer to Verena. "Where are we, Mamma? This is not Orli's house? Why are we here? And where is Orli? Is he in the shower?"

Verena sighed deeply. She hadn't closed an eye for the remaining hours after they got to the hotel. She'd been thinking of how to explain it to Zoë.

Everything in her head told her that she had gotten herself, Zoë, and Orlando into a big mess. But she would work her way out of it, somehow. She had to make things clear for her child, sooner or later, when Orlando left.

"Chip, Orlando and I decided it would be better if you and I moved to a hotel, and so he and I to could work together better. I am sorry we did it so fast and without telling you, honey, but it was necessary and I didn't want to wake you. He didn't come with us, love, he is at his flat …"

Zoë's eyes were filled with tears as she sat up and confronted her mother.

"No, Mamma, I saw you together last night and you were hugging, and kissing like people do when they want to stay together. You were not saying goodbye, were you?"

V got over her shock of imagining Zoë actually seeing them quite fast. And somehow, it hurt all over again. What the hell had she done? What was she doing now? But she would not panic.

"No, love, Orlando and I are still good friends, and good friends hug and kiss sometimes. But you always knew he couldn't stay with us forever, Chip. He has work and a life away from us, and we have our own lives, too. He travels a lot and Mamma will have another job, maybe in another city …"

Zoë's tears fell freely, as she hurled herself at her mother.

"But I wanted him to stay with us. Mamma. I wanted him to be my daddy and stay. And you travel a lot too, and he would have come home again always. Please, Mamma, why can't he be my daddy?"

V felt her heart fall apart as she felt her little girl's tears drenched her shirt.

"Orlando is young, younger than me, Zoë. He still has a lot of traveling and doing ahead before he can have his own family. Orlando loves you very much, munchkin, but he is only our friend, and he cannot be your daddy. Soon he will move on. So will we. And I am very sorry that I didn't give you a daddy, honey."

Zoë held her mother very tightly, as her tears kept on falling. Everything had been a dream. And poor Mamma. It wasn't her fault if Zoë had no daddy. She knew her mother loved her over everything else in the world and knew that her mother would never leave her. But she had hoped and she had wished and … she knew that things weren't always like one wished. And Zoë knew her mother counted on her.

"I will get myself ready for kindergarten, Mamma. You have to go to work and shouldn't be late," said the child wiping the tears away from her small face with the sleeve of her PJs. She stood up and walked to the door she supposed was the bathroom.

Then she looked back at her mother who was watching her. "Will he still want to see me sometimes? Orli, I mean."

Verena saw her little brave five-year-old stand in the door of the bathroom and give her best try to stand by her mother's decision. And it hurt like hell.

"I think so, honey. He loves you very, very much, and we are still friends."

"Okay, Mamma. I think it's okay, then. Can you tell him I love him too?" Zoë added.

"I will, munchkin. But he knows. Don't worry. He knows," said Verena, cursing herself for the day she agreed on this job. And the very minute she had fallen in love with Orlando Bloom.

*****************

"Bloody hell, mate, I hope the party last night was worth all the effort I will have to make you look fresh and healthy again," said the make up artist to Orlando as soon as he sat down in the make-up chair and removed the sunglasses. Sure, he looked terrible.

"It almost was, Chris, believe me. But then …" he turned to see V entering his dressing room. "You never know, mate. Just do your best and lets get to work. That's what we are here for, right?"

Verena forced her eyes away from the agenda and the script she was reading while entering the room and looked at his mirrored reflection. His brown eyes met hers and a wave of anger and regret passed between them. She tipped her chin higher and just said, "Good morning, Orlando. Good morning Chris. It looks like we are going to have a busy day today. So let's get started."

‘Christ,' thought Orlando. 'At least she has the decency to look as terrible as I do'. Dark rings surrounding surrounded her green eyes, slightly masked by some make up. The tiredness was there as well, and his anger lessened a bit. This was not an evil woman. Just a terribly stubborn one.

They managed to civilly discuss the day's agenda and the new lines of the script, for the benefit of the make up artist, and then they went together to the set. After that they didn't exchange a word for the rest of the day, except for the basic necessities. Until it was time for Verena to pick up Zoë.

When Verena had left Zoë in the kindergarten that morning, she had seen the sadness in her daughter's face and had decided to ask Orlando to at least call Zoë that day, to reassure the child.

V herself felt bad and guilty enough to even beg Orlando to do it, if needed. She hadn't counted on Zoë's quiet and deep heartbreak, which disturbed her greatly. And she would do anything to help Zoë work out their separation.

Orlando was sitting at the make-up table, his eyes closed, trying to relax after the day's rough filming, when he heard the door of his dressing room open. Without opening his eyes, he knew it was V.

He could sense her. In fact, he had been thinking of how to approach her, because he had made up his mind that he would ask to see Zoë. Since the moment he had actually seen that they weren't at his apartment anymore, Orlando had insanely missed the child.

When he heard Verena enter the room, Orlando opened his eyes and waited, as if to gauge her mood. Verena spoke first.

"Orlando, I brought you the spare keys from the apartment," she started, regretting the strategy the moment the words had left her mouth. It had been a bad tactic. She wanted a favor from him; she didn't want to remind him of last night.

"It's okay, V. You can keep them, just in case, if you want. Or give then back, as you like". Damn, his tone was showing his exasperation, and he needed her to be willing to let him see the girl. Orlando kicked himself mentally. He had to get a grip on his emotions towards V, if he ever expected to see Zoë again.

"I…," they both began at the same time, and then they laughed a bit nervously. It was awkward.

"You first," said Orlando.

"Well, then I'll get straight to the point. My worst mistake last night was to leave your place without giving Zoë an explanation or the chance to say goodbye. She is quite upset by us moving out …" V started to explain.

"Would you come back?" he cut in. Again, he had spoken without thinking. He was too eager and this was like playing poker: One card at the time, never showing your whole hand.

"No, Orlando. I just can't. It wouldn't be good for Zoë or you either. We should work this out to make the final parting easier for her. Would you help me, please?" she continued, already considering how far he would resist and how much she would have to negotiate. Verena was ready to beg.

"I miss her too, V," he admitted. "What did you have in mind?"

It seemed to be easier than she had hoped. "I wanted to ask you to talk to her, see her maybe a couple of times to make it easier on Zoë to learn to be away from you."

Orlando took a deep breath. Well, that was exactly what he wanted, but the way the poker game was going he could still make a higher bet. "I'd love to. But I also have some promises I'd wish to fulfill. May I take her to Kent to meet my mother? And maybe have Zoë overnight once or twice to watch movies with her and play?" He paused. "Please?"

Verena looked at him as if he had gone insane. He wanted HER daughter to travel with him somewhere outside London and stay overnight at his place?

He had no rights over Zoë, fuck, he had no rights over her and he was freaking insane if she actually thought she might accept this. And then, she imagined them together, and saw Zoë this very morning, breaking her heart as she tried to be brave and stand by her mother's choices. And she recalled Orlando's look of hurt last night. His soft brown eyes were locked on her right this moment, and the guilt she felt for having handled the whole situation in the worst manner possible took over. Verena would have to live with having deeply hurt the man she had come to love, but she couldn't keep on hurting Zoë and Orlando. She had to find a logical way out of the mess.

She closed her eyes and said softly, "Yes."

He couldn't actually believe she had accepted. "Do you agree?"

"Yes, but only because I trust you and I owe it to you and to Zoë. But then we will part, Orlando. Are we clear on this?" she said, looking him straight in the eye.

"Yes Verena, once the contract is over, we are done. And I promise I will make this easier for Zoë. I give you my word on that," he said, and knew that he was promising not to try to start a relationship with her again. It was the price they were both agreeing on to spare Zoë any more sorrow.

Verena turned to leave but looked back once again. "I think she would be thrilled if you call her up later. And I am sorry, Orlando, I really am." Then she left.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror and somehow couldn't shake up the feeling that though he had now won time with Zoë, he had let Verena go. For good.

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